A/N: *ducks flying tomatoes I know! It's taken a lot longer than you or even I expected and I'm really really sorry. I've been ssoo busy lately. I had all-county band tryouts, auditions for the school play, about a bizillon tests, and now I found out I'm failing math. So that means if I don't pass this semester, I'll get in major trouble and my writing time will be cut by 2/3rds. *shakes head* I'm getting really sick of school. And now my whole family is in a big fight and I'm not allowed to talk to my grandparents anymore.....well, on with the story!!!!
OH! AND READ MY AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT!
Harry was falling. He tried to find a way to stop, but he was too weak. He kept falling for what seemed like forever. He strained his eyes to see what his surroundings looked like, but he was going too fast.
Finally, he landed with a 'thump' on the hard ground. He groaned softly to himself and lifted his body off the ground.
He began walking towards a cabin. It was surrounded by trees and flowers. It enchanted him, and it was as though he was drawn to it. He walked slowly towards the cabin, slowly and quietly.
Finally, he reached the doorway and he took a deep breath. Not exactly knowing why, Harry knocked on the door in front of him. It was silent inside the cottage for a little. And then he heard laughter getting closer. Harry hardly had time to think before the door flew open and an older looking Harry stood in front of him.
~~
A scream woke Sirius up the next morning. He bolted out of bed and ran to Harry's room. The sight he saw made his heart sink deep into his chest.
Madam Pomfrey was the one who had screamed. And a deathly pale Harry laid underneath her, as she was checking his pulse. He had heard her scream Dumbledore's name who appeared instantly. Sirius shook his head slightly, wondering how he knew how to come.
"What's the matter Poppy?" Dumbledore asked. His voice as lower and the most serious he had ever heard it besides after the 3rd task.
"He isn't breathing, Albus," Sirius's eyes immediately widened and he felt a pile of weights fall onto his chest painfully. He choked out a breath and stared at the boy. His green eyes no longer visible, his pale skin as white as a ghost and his black hair still stook up where ever it could.
"No," he said loudly. He rushed forward and grabbed Harry's hand. He was forcing the tears back in frustration. He was too angry to be sad.
"NO! Harry! You can't die! You can't die," Sirius felt for a pulse and found none. He collapsed by the side of Harry's bed, holding his hand still and crying on the boy's chest.
"Not now, Harry. Please, not now."
~~~
The man in front of Harry immediately stopped laughing and stared at him as Harry was staring at the man. Blue eyes met green and immediately, Harry took a step back.
"Oh my- Harry?" a lady with long red hair and green eyes stepped into view. She had the same eyes as Harry.
Suddenly, Harry felt angry. Angrier than he had ever felt in his life. How dare they impersonate his dead parents? He knew his parents were dead. It must be a trick of Voldemorts. Well, now he had really pushed the wrong buttons.
The man and woman walked forward, and Harry stumbled backwards, eyes flashing.
"Don't touch me," he said dangerously as the man stretched out a hand.
"Harry?" The man's eyes were so confused looking. Harry looked away into the eyes of the woman and immediately melted. Those eyes were exactly the same as his. He could hardly surpress a sob as his heart contracted painfully in his chest.
"Who are you?" he whispered quietly. They seemed to be woken from a trance as the man spoke.
"I'm James Potter, and this is Lily Potter," he said softly. Harry's eyes narrowed.
"You can't be," he said dangerously. "Lily and James died 14 years ago." Their faces looked expressionless.
"We are dead, Harry," the man said. His face looked concerned. Harry then felt his confusion and anger turn to realization.
Lifting a hand in front of his face, he realized all his bruises were gone, even those that Madam Pompfry had told them she could not heal. He took a steady deep breath.
"I'm dead," he said softly. He closed his eyes and distantly heard a cry in his head.
"NO! HARRY! NO!!" He snapped his eyes open in horror as he stared at his parents. That had been Sirius screaming.
"Harry," his mother rushed forward and grabbed her son in a hug. Caught by surprise, Harry hugged her back hesitantly. His mother let go and held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye.
"Harry," her voice was soft and regretful. "You're not suppose to be here. You aren't suppose to die."
His father's eyes darkened for a moment as Harry turned away. He knew he wasn't suppose to die, but he was just so tired of living.
"I must defeat Voldemort?" His parents lowered their heads and he sighed deeply. His life would not end so easily. He must have to go through more torture.
"You are the only one, Harry," his father said breaking away his thoughts. He lifted his head, his green eyes darkened and lifeless.
"What must I do?" (haha! I know that's from the LOTR movie, but it....oh never mind... it just seemed to fit.) His mothers eyes filled with unnesscary tears.
"Know we love you always, Harry. And we'll be waiting for you," she hugged him a last time. His father stepped forward and hugged him as well.
"Don't ever give in, Harry. You must be strong for the world," his eyes were full of remorse and pain, and Harry felt an urge to end it all so they wouldn't hurt anymore.
"I give you this amulet, Harry. It was mine in life, and now yours. It will protect you, or the person who is wearing it, once. And only once, remember that Harry. For whoever uses it shall be spared from death. use it wisely and not as a fool," his mother clasped the small white amulet in his shaking hand and closed it.
"I don't want to go back," he sobbed. He grabbed hold of his mothers cloak and clung desperatly on. The thought of going back was the worst thing imaginable. "Please, don't make me go back!" he nearly screamed, and he knew he sounded like a 5 year old, but he wanted nothing more than to be rid of the pain and be with his parents who he'd never known.
He felt a pair of strong hands pull him back and he was soon staring into the eyes of his father. He brushed away Harry's tears softly and pushed back his hair from his forehead.
"You're our son, and we love you with all our hearts. Please, don't make the mistake of giving up on the world. They need you so much, Harry. And we will be waiting for you when you return," Harry felt his head fall into his fathers chest.
"I-" his mother put a finger to his lips as she began to hum her song. Tears fell down his cheeks gently as he listened softly to her voice.
"I love you," he said softly. And even though he couldn't see them, he knew they were smiling.
"We are always watching and loving you, my child," and with a last glance at his parents, he disappeared back into pain.
~~~~
A thunderous amount of feet came rumbling down the stairs. Sirius took no notice, however as he mumble incoherent things under his breath.
"It's all my fault," he said quietly as the people entered the room, drowning out his voice. Harry was the last chance he had at a family. He was one of the only ones that still didn't cringe at the sight of him.
'Damn, those muggles,' he thought savagely. His eyes burned with unimaginable hate. 'They'll wish they'd never laid a hand on Harry by the time I'm through with them.'
But he could only stare at the boy who was turning colder and paler by the minute. His green eyes were no longer visible, but Sirius knew what he would see. Pain, hurt, and sometimes trust. How could a boy still trust after all that had happened to him?
'He's never known anything other than what he grew up with.' Sirius sighed inwardly. How often had this happened to his godson?
He laid his head down on his godson's chest. It was no longer rising and falling, but deathly still. He gasped for air as he suddenly realized that he had nobody left.
A cold shiver crept down his back.
And the tears were stopped.
And he felt absolutely nothing. The pain had gnawed away at his heart so badly he had nothing else to feel. He felt a bitter laugh escape his throat as he continued to keep his head down. Half-conciously, he felt all eyes on him as the chatter died away. They must had heard him laugh.
'Let them think I'm crazy,' he thought dully. He lifted his head enough so that he could gaze at the boy's face, feeling as though he had just lost the last piece of family he had had.
He stroked the boy's hair, humming the all to familiar song by Lily.
When all the days are
full of darkness
trust in me, oh baby
don't you see?
I'm always gonna be there
never gonna leave ya
Close your eyes, precious
don't let the day get you down.
Hold your head up, high.
Don't let the tears pull you in
Love is always with you
No matter the distance.
Rain clouds can cloud the sun
but tomorrow, they'll be gone.
Don't let rain get you down,
but instead, why don't we dance?
Close your eyes, precious
don't let the day get you down.
Hold your head up, high.
Don't let the tears pull you in
Love is always with you
No matter the distance.
Oh, my child
My precious, forever.
Sirius stroked his hair again, and gasped.
A/N: *sigh* For some reason, I feel incredibly bad for Sirius right now. And again, I'm really really sorry about this taking so long. I've just been so busy. Hope the song wasn't 2 terrible...lol.. It took me all of 10 minutes to write so I won't be surprised if I go back to read it tomorrow and I regret it...
Thank you so much to those who reviewed!!!!!
But before I get to thanking all those wonderful magnificent splendid people who reviewed my story, I'd like to make my big announcement that really isn't my original idea but I thought it was a really cool idea so I'm gonna use it....just 2 letcha all know so I don't get in trouble...
TO THE 100TH REVIEWER, YOU GET A STORY WRITTEN BY ME ABOUT ANYTHING UNDER THESE CONDITIONS:
1. Absolutely no slash. No offense, but I just don't write those kind of stories.
2. No Snape= Harry's father.
That's about it. So, lucky reviewers. You want a story written by me???? REVIEW!!!!
And now on to the thanks for last chapters reviewers:
SiriDragon: Glad you like my story!! Hehe. Only somewhat??? I hope you still like my story after this chapter. The song I just wrote in like 10 minutes.......
Dominey: Thanks!! And I'll keep writing...
Lei Dumbledore: Thank you! Haha. I know how it is, I have a lot of little cousins. They seem to always want to use the computer when I do. ;) Hope you liked this chapter!
Dani-loves-Sirius-Black: *grins evily* I'm bad, I know. I really shouldn't keep you guys suspended with that. I promise, it'll be in one of the next few chapters...but I will tell ya eventually. Don't worry.
Kanzer: *sigh* I hate making Hermoine seem like she's the one with all the blame. I hope my explanation in later chapters is a good one..
Sirens*echo: teenage drama! I never heard that one before!! Lol. And your pretty close to figuring out how Hermoine knew. Keep guessing and you're bound to get it. And you'll find out about Remus's and Sirius's reactions when they find out Hermoine knew... *backs up slightly* Sirius has a very bad temper.
weird: Hey again! Things will be explained, don't worry. Until then, hope you enjoy the coming chapters...
: the whole couples thing is still up for decsion. Honestly, I hate making those kind of decsion by myself. I'll be having a poll for characters next chapter. *sigh* I don't know if I could make Sirius die. That would depress the story so much I don't know if I could continue. But I can't make any promises to anything, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
malones: LoL. I'm impatient, too. I know how it is with cliffy's. Sorry this took so long.
Jordyana: *smiles* I sometimes feel like just stopping the story I feel so bad for Harry. But things will get better. I have a tendency to make people cry.....should I be telling people this?! Haha. Well, anyways, I'm really honored to have you put me on your favorites list *blushes* all my work?.... Wow. And I hope you continue your story as well...
Saliorgurl: thank you!!
And there are some who reviewed other chapters, so I think I'll include them:
Inscriffany(chapter 10): I know, I know. Major characters, need to spell them right. I've gotten this before, and honestly, I do try and catch them, but usually it's late at night when I post.. So I glance through but I'm not really paying attention. I'm sorry about that and I'll try to catch those kind of things. Hope you liked the story anyhow.
ichigopocky(chapter10): yay! I'm so glad you like it so much(or should I say luv??).. thanks so much for reading this!
callas-and-ivy(chapter 7): *sigh* If only I could say I've never experienced, or seen the abuse of someone. Unfortunately, emotional abuse as well as sexual harassment are no strangers to me. My family isn't perfect, and a lot of the feelings Harry gets (loneliness, depression, unable to trust, emptiness) that's just me talking. But it isn't completely me either. For I haven't been physically abused myself. But sometimes other wounds hurt just as bad...... Ok, sorry about that. LoL. Got carried away. And yes, I wish NO ONE ever had to go through what Harry does... Unfortunately, it happeneds to more than I could ever know, every day. And thank you so much for your comments. They made my day. :) I hope you like the rest of my story.
OH! AND READ MY AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM FOR AN ANNOUNCEMENT!
Harry was falling. He tried to find a way to stop, but he was too weak. He kept falling for what seemed like forever. He strained his eyes to see what his surroundings looked like, but he was going too fast.
Finally, he landed with a 'thump' on the hard ground. He groaned softly to himself and lifted his body off the ground.
He began walking towards a cabin. It was surrounded by trees and flowers. It enchanted him, and it was as though he was drawn to it. He walked slowly towards the cabin, slowly and quietly.
Finally, he reached the doorway and he took a deep breath. Not exactly knowing why, Harry knocked on the door in front of him. It was silent inside the cottage for a little. And then he heard laughter getting closer. Harry hardly had time to think before the door flew open and an older looking Harry stood in front of him.
~~
A scream woke Sirius up the next morning. He bolted out of bed and ran to Harry's room. The sight he saw made his heart sink deep into his chest.
Madam Pomfrey was the one who had screamed. And a deathly pale Harry laid underneath her, as she was checking his pulse. He had heard her scream Dumbledore's name who appeared instantly. Sirius shook his head slightly, wondering how he knew how to come.
"What's the matter Poppy?" Dumbledore asked. His voice as lower and the most serious he had ever heard it besides after the 3rd task.
"He isn't breathing, Albus," Sirius's eyes immediately widened and he felt a pile of weights fall onto his chest painfully. He choked out a breath and stared at the boy. His green eyes no longer visible, his pale skin as white as a ghost and his black hair still stook up where ever it could.
"No," he said loudly. He rushed forward and grabbed Harry's hand. He was forcing the tears back in frustration. He was too angry to be sad.
"NO! Harry! You can't die! You can't die," Sirius felt for a pulse and found none. He collapsed by the side of Harry's bed, holding his hand still and crying on the boy's chest.
"Not now, Harry. Please, not now."
~~~
The man in front of Harry immediately stopped laughing and stared at him as Harry was staring at the man. Blue eyes met green and immediately, Harry took a step back.
"Oh my- Harry?" a lady with long red hair and green eyes stepped into view. She had the same eyes as Harry.
Suddenly, Harry felt angry. Angrier than he had ever felt in his life. How dare they impersonate his dead parents? He knew his parents were dead. It must be a trick of Voldemorts. Well, now he had really pushed the wrong buttons.
The man and woman walked forward, and Harry stumbled backwards, eyes flashing.
"Don't touch me," he said dangerously as the man stretched out a hand.
"Harry?" The man's eyes were so confused looking. Harry looked away into the eyes of the woman and immediately melted. Those eyes were exactly the same as his. He could hardly surpress a sob as his heart contracted painfully in his chest.
"Who are you?" he whispered quietly. They seemed to be woken from a trance as the man spoke.
"I'm James Potter, and this is Lily Potter," he said softly. Harry's eyes narrowed.
"You can't be," he said dangerously. "Lily and James died 14 years ago." Their faces looked expressionless.
"We are dead, Harry," the man said. His face looked concerned. Harry then felt his confusion and anger turn to realization.
Lifting a hand in front of his face, he realized all his bruises were gone, even those that Madam Pompfry had told them she could not heal. He took a steady deep breath.
"I'm dead," he said softly. He closed his eyes and distantly heard a cry in his head.
"NO! HARRY! NO!!" He snapped his eyes open in horror as he stared at his parents. That had been Sirius screaming.
"Harry," his mother rushed forward and grabbed her son in a hug. Caught by surprise, Harry hugged her back hesitantly. His mother let go and held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye.
"Harry," her voice was soft and regretful. "You're not suppose to be here. You aren't suppose to die."
His father's eyes darkened for a moment as Harry turned away. He knew he wasn't suppose to die, but he was just so tired of living.
"I must defeat Voldemort?" His parents lowered their heads and he sighed deeply. His life would not end so easily. He must have to go through more torture.
"You are the only one, Harry," his father said breaking away his thoughts. He lifted his head, his green eyes darkened and lifeless.
"What must I do?" (haha! I know that's from the LOTR movie, but it....oh never mind... it just seemed to fit.) His mothers eyes filled with unnesscary tears.
"Know we love you always, Harry. And we'll be waiting for you," she hugged him a last time. His father stepped forward and hugged him as well.
"Don't ever give in, Harry. You must be strong for the world," his eyes were full of remorse and pain, and Harry felt an urge to end it all so they wouldn't hurt anymore.
"I give you this amulet, Harry. It was mine in life, and now yours. It will protect you, or the person who is wearing it, once. And only once, remember that Harry. For whoever uses it shall be spared from death. use it wisely and not as a fool," his mother clasped the small white amulet in his shaking hand and closed it.
"I don't want to go back," he sobbed. He grabbed hold of his mothers cloak and clung desperatly on. The thought of going back was the worst thing imaginable. "Please, don't make me go back!" he nearly screamed, and he knew he sounded like a 5 year old, but he wanted nothing more than to be rid of the pain and be with his parents who he'd never known.
He felt a pair of strong hands pull him back and he was soon staring into the eyes of his father. He brushed away Harry's tears softly and pushed back his hair from his forehead.
"You're our son, and we love you with all our hearts. Please, don't make the mistake of giving up on the world. They need you so much, Harry. And we will be waiting for you when you return," Harry felt his head fall into his fathers chest.
"I-" his mother put a finger to his lips as she began to hum her song. Tears fell down his cheeks gently as he listened softly to her voice.
"I love you," he said softly. And even though he couldn't see them, he knew they were smiling.
"We are always watching and loving you, my child," and with a last glance at his parents, he disappeared back into pain.
~~~~
A thunderous amount of feet came rumbling down the stairs. Sirius took no notice, however as he mumble incoherent things under his breath.
"It's all my fault," he said quietly as the people entered the room, drowning out his voice. Harry was the last chance he had at a family. He was one of the only ones that still didn't cringe at the sight of him.
'Damn, those muggles,' he thought savagely. His eyes burned with unimaginable hate. 'They'll wish they'd never laid a hand on Harry by the time I'm through with them.'
But he could only stare at the boy who was turning colder and paler by the minute. His green eyes were no longer visible, but Sirius knew what he would see. Pain, hurt, and sometimes trust. How could a boy still trust after all that had happened to him?
'He's never known anything other than what he grew up with.' Sirius sighed inwardly. How often had this happened to his godson?
He laid his head down on his godson's chest. It was no longer rising and falling, but deathly still. He gasped for air as he suddenly realized that he had nobody left.
A cold shiver crept down his back.
And the tears were stopped.
And he felt absolutely nothing. The pain had gnawed away at his heart so badly he had nothing else to feel. He felt a bitter laugh escape his throat as he continued to keep his head down. Half-conciously, he felt all eyes on him as the chatter died away. They must had heard him laugh.
'Let them think I'm crazy,' he thought dully. He lifted his head enough so that he could gaze at the boy's face, feeling as though he had just lost the last piece of family he had had.
He stroked the boy's hair, humming the all to familiar song by Lily.
When all the days are
full of darkness
trust in me, oh baby
don't you see?
I'm always gonna be there
never gonna leave ya
Close your eyes, precious
don't let the day get you down.
Hold your head up, high.
Don't let the tears pull you in
Love is always with you
No matter the distance.
Rain clouds can cloud the sun
but tomorrow, they'll be gone.
Don't let rain get you down,
but instead, why don't we dance?
Close your eyes, precious
don't let the day get you down.
Hold your head up, high.
Don't let the tears pull you in
Love is always with you
No matter the distance.
Oh, my child
My precious, forever.
Sirius stroked his hair again, and gasped.
A/N: *sigh* For some reason, I feel incredibly bad for Sirius right now. And again, I'm really really sorry about this taking so long. I've just been so busy. Hope the song wasn't 2 terrible...lol.. It took me all of 10 minutes to write so I won't be surprised if I go back to read it tomorrow and I regret it...
Thank you so much to those who reviewed!!!!!
But before I get to thanking all those wonderful magnificent splendid people who reviewed my story, I'd like to make my big announcement that really isn't my original idea but I thought it was a really cool idea so I'm gonna use it....just 2 letcha all know so I don't get in trouble...
TO THE 100TH REVIEWER, YOU GET A STORY WRITTEN BY ME ABOUT ANYTHING UNDER THESE CONDITIONS:
1. Absolutely no slash. No offense, but I just don't write those kind of stories.
2. No Snape= Harry's father.
That's about it. So, lucky reviewers. You want a story written by me???? REVIEW!!!!
And now on to the thanks for last chapters reviewers:
SiriDragon: Glad you like my story!! Hehe. Only somewhat??? I hope you still like my story after this chapter. The song I just wrote in like 10 minutes.......
Dominey: Thanks!! And I'll keep writing...
Lei Dumbledore: Thank you! Haha. I know how it is, I have a lot of little cousins. They seem to always want to use the computer when I do. ;) Hope you liked this chapter!
Dani-loves-Sirius-Black: *grins evily* I'm bad, I know. I really shouldn't keep you guys suspended with that. I promise, it'll be in one of the next few chapters...but I will tell ya eventually. Don't worry.
Kanzer: *sigh* I hate making Hermoine seem like she's the one with all the blame. I hope my explanation in later chapters is a good one..
Sirens*echo: teenage drama! I never heard that one before!! Lol. And your pretty close to figuring out how Hermoine knew. Keep guessing and you're bound to get it. And you'll find out about Remus's and Sirius's reactions when they find out Hermoine knew... *backs up slightly* Sirius has a very bad temper.
weird: Hey again! Things will be explained, don't worry. Until then, hope you enjoy the coming chapters...
: the whole couples thing is still up for decsion. Honestly, I hate making those kind of decsion by myself. I'll be having a poll for characters next chapter. *sigh* I don't know if I could make Sirius die. That would depress the story so much I don't know if I could continue. But I can't make any promises to anything, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
malones: LoL. I'm impatient, too. I know how it is with cliffy's. Sorry this took so long.
Jordyana: *smiles* I sometimes feel like just stopping the story I feel so bad for Harry. But things will get better. I have a tendency to make people cry.....should I be telling people this?! Haha. Well, anyways, I'm really honored to have you put me on your favorites list *blushes* all my work?.... Wow. And I hope you continue your story as well...
Saliorgurl: thank you!!
And there are some who reviewed other chapters, so I think I'll include them:
Inscriffany(chapter 10): I know, I know. Major characters, need to spell them right. I've gotten this before, and honestly, I do try and catch them, but usually it's late at night when I post.. So I glance through but I'm not really paying attention. I'm sorry about that and I'll try to catch those kind of things. Hope you liked the story anyhow.
ichigopocky(chapter10): yay! I'm so glad you like it so much(or should I say luv??).. thanks so much for reading this!
callas-and-ivy(chapter 7): *sigh* If only I could say I've never experienced, or seen the abuse of someone. Unfortunately, emotional abuse as well as sexual harassment are no strangers to me. My family isn't perfect, and a lot of the feelings Harry gets (loneliness, depression, unable to trust, emptiness) that's just me talking. But it isn't completely me either. For I haven't been physically abused myself. But sometimes other wounds hurt just as bad...... Ok, sorry about that. LoL. Got carried away. And yes, I wish NO ONE ever had to go through what Harry does... Unfortunately, it happeneds to more than I could ever know, every day. And thank you so much for your comments. They made my day. :) I hope you like the rest of my story.