Stitched Poppet

Program13

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I STILL don't own anything. But I swear! One day it SHALL be mine! *falls though her cardboard box, and is promptly laughed at by vairous characters in her head.* I hate you all...

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I sighed in disgust. No matter how hard I hit my knife, I was at the wrong angle to hit Leo in the eye, or anywhere else for that matter. And all his rambling about the sociopolitical and economic impacts from the possible war on Doma was grating on my last nerve. I could only imagine that having my hand gnawed off by a rabid Returner was less painful than this. I scooted the knife away from the edge of the table and tried to calculate the angle and force required to nail the servant on the other side of the dining hall from my seat when I was roused from my thoughts by Leo's expectant stare.

"Well? Kefka?"

"What? Sorry I was (trying to figure out whether I could knock your eye out of the back of your head, you annoying little bastardized farm boy....) just contemplating the trade route and supply line that would result from the claiming of the Domian state. What were you saying?" I flashed a grin at him, knowing that he knew I wasn't paying the least bit of attention to him or the Emperor.

Leo sighed at me and rolled his eyes in disgust. "Nevermind. I'll just ask General Celese when she returns from Figaro."

Ghestal appeared to be in 'deep' contemplation as he sipped his wine. He sat the glass down and sighed before responding to whatever they'd been talking about before I'd begun aiming at the servant. "I believe you may be right, Leo, but that is a chance we will be forced to take. Diplomatic reasoning has failed to work thus far, and I doubt it would work now. And in addition to that, we need the resources in that area to increase the army, which leaves me with no choice. I'm going to declare war on Doma." I perked up and became very attentive at this point, I love the word 'war', it's soooo, I don't know.... fun! " I want you and Kefka to take care of it for me." I could barely contain myself at that point, I was being ORDERED to be destructive. There were days when I loved that senile old ass. "Can I count on the two of you to end this war quickly, without the loss of many men?" Leo chimed in with a 'Yes my liege! It will be done!', my answer was considerably less enthusiastic. Short wars? Who wants short wars? And without loosing many men? What's the fun in that? I'd find a way to hold it out and that's all there was to it.

There was a bit more discussion, most of which was unnotable, and then Leo and I were dismissed from the Emperor's presence. Leo waited for me just outside the double doors in the main corridor. The Emperor had wanted to speak with me a moment longer regarding a project Cid was working on and had asked for my help with. I stepped into the gloomy metal hall, shutting the door behind myself and grinned at Leo.

"Kefka. Please don't do anything stupid. People's lives are at risk here. I-"

"Blah blah blah. You know, you've always been a pansy. It's WAR Leo, W-A-R. Ok? People DIE in wars. Wars are a GOOD thing. Population control and lots of bloody fun, and all that. You're a General, act like it, moron." I smiled and left him grumbling behind me.

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I never did like the sea. It's far too peaceful. I don't like ships either, they're always rocking, and it makes you tired. I was perched in the seat of a lashed down M-tech on the deck of said ship, bored out of my mind. The only amusement I could get was watching the piss ants work. That's actually the only reason I was even there to begin with. Leo didn't feeeeeeeeeeeel like it, so I got stuck with the crapy job of watching these idiots build camp outside of Doma.

And I realized how pathetic my life actually was. The rabid Returner bit was sounding nice again.

Anyway, we were supposed to be docking on the island adjoining the domian continent and moving in on our target from there. But that wouldn't be for a few days. I thought I was going to go insane. I settled down into the hard seat of the machine and went about amusing myself the only way I could: Yelling out ridiculous orders and watching the piss ants do them out of terror. All in all, I think it was an okay trip.

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I've come to the conclusion that deserts, like the one surrounding the Figaro Castle, are ten times worse than oceans. I simply can't stand them. Generally, I'd just set something I don't like on fire or have some soldiers destroy it, but deserts just turn to glass and can't be removed by any amount of kicking. And the royal family living in this particular desert doesn't make me feel any better about trekking through their overly yellowed front yard to see them either. Did I mention that I HATE the Figaros as much as I HATE Leo? Well, I do. And of course his late Highness had to grace the world with two of his demonseed, and now Figaro had an overly flirtatious, in the closet, some what decent ruler. It simply makes me sick. Oh, and to make matters worse, the bastard has my MAGIC USER. That's right! MY magic user! And what's worse than that?! Leo, that dominated latrine licker, took over my war!!! MY WAR!!!!

IT"S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU!!! ALL MUST DIE FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION!!!

*Huff* Well, there isn't much I can do about that at the moment, so I suppose I will focus on *sigh* Figaro.