All Hope is Lost

2nd Revision
(converted to prose format due to popular demand)



Shinji is standing in a hospital room alone with the girl sprawled unconscious on the bed.

"Hey Asuka.. Misato and Ayanami scare me", says Shinji, with a slight tone of desperation. There was no response from the girl in the hospital bed. Shinji began shaking the girl lightly.

"Help me Asuka. Call me an idiot like you always do, but please, just say something." Tears began to flow down Shinji's cheeks. He then gives her body a violent tug and her sheets fall to the ground, revealing her scantily clad body. Shinji gasps and then proceeds to lock the door and proceeds to remove Asuka's undergarments. He then unzips his pants and lies on top of Asuka's comatose body, and off-screen, we see the locked door and sounds of Shinji breathing and moaning.

We return to the hospital room and see that Shinji has put Asuka's undergarments on but hasn't picked up the sheets that had fallen to the floor.
"I'm so fucked up."



3 hours later...



At NERV HQ, Misato confirms that they are under attack from the Japanese military.
"Deploy Unit 1!"

"We can't waste time! Make sure our pilots Shinji and Asuka are alright!" Maya interrupts Misato.

Later, Misato finds Shinji sitting in the hallway with his face on his knees, weeping.

"Let's go, Shinji. Unit 1 is ready", Misato began somewhat calmly.

"No... I... can't. I... did something horrible to.... Asuka."

"This is an emergency situation. You can't just sit here and feel sorry for yourself. Go pilot the Eva; tell me about that afterwards." Misato is starting to become somewhat impatient.

"Where is.. Asuka...? No, I can't go on... without apologizing to her... face to face. I'd rather... die... than be denied... expressing my shame."

"You spoiled brat! You're still alive, so get up and pilot the Eva!"

"I'm sooo sorry... Asuka! Please, I need to talk to you."

"Right now, I don't care what you've done to her, but if you don't pilot, then we'll all die, and you'll never have the chance to apologize to her!"

With that, Shinji stood up and started following Misato to the Unit 1 launch room. Shinji changed into his plugsuit and proceeded into the entry plug. "Eva Unit 1 ready for launch!" Misato promptly orders.





Unit 1 was surrounded all all sides by tanks. Recklessly, the mecha picked up a bunch of the tanks and threw them at the rest. Unfortunately, one of the tanks managed to shoot down Unit 1's umbilical cable.

"Shinji, your power cable is severed! You only have 5 minutes left!" Misato speaks to Shinji over the intercom.

At that moment, 8 white flying mechas descended from the sky and surrounded Unit 1. "Those must be Eva production model units 5 to 13", Misato thought.

"With 4 minutes left and 8 enemies.. that gives only 30 seconds per Eva."

Despite the odds, Shinji showed no indication of giving up any hope. As all 8 Evas charged at Unit 1, Shinji increased his AT field and barely repelled the attack. He launches his counter-attack by picking up one of the Evas and violently slamming it into the other. The battle ensued and Shinji managed to destroy most of the Eva series while sustaining considerable damage to his unit.



Meanwhile...



Asuka's eyes slowly opened as she reoriented herself to the hospital room she resided in. She noticed that her blanket is on the floor and her clothes were slightly torn. She had a clear feeling that something wasn't right.

"God no.. I hope what I think isn't true..", she thinks. Asuka sees a belt lying on next to the pile of sheets on the floor and picks it up. She recognizes it as Shinji's.

"Oh no.. it can't be! THAT BASTARD!!! He's a hentai but I never expected him to do something like THIS to me!! Ohhh, I'm gonna kill him for sure!"

Shortly after, Misato walks into Asuka's hospital room.

"Asuka, you're awake! Quick, there's no time to lose! Get dressed into your plug suit and head to the launch room immediately!"

"With my almost nonexistant sync ratio? What are you thinking, lady?" Asuka fumes.

"There's not much time; we're under attack! At least you'll be safe in your Eva."

By the time Unit 2 was launched, 3 of the 8 enemy Evas remained after a seemingly endless battle with Unit 1. Unit 1 is knocked to the ground and they continued to smash and pound at it until Unit 2 was spotted. That's when the 3 Evas start charging at Unit 2 and Asuka could only stare helplessly. The 3 Evas manage to sever Unit 2's power cable. Asuka unsuccessfully tries to move and fire. Asuka is getting desperate and pounds on the wall of the entry plug.

"I mustn't die.. I mustn't die.. I mustn't die..", Asuka mutters to herself with her head drooped down.

"Live on.. I won't let you die", a strange voice calls out to Asuka.

"Mama? You were here all along!"

With that, Asuka's Unit 2 starts moving again. She draws her progressive knife and battles fiercely with the remaining Evas, barely destroying all three before her battery runs out.



6 hours later...



It's already nighttime and Asuka is in Shinji's hospital room. Seeing Shinji lying in bed almost lifeless, she contemplates on how easy it was for him to take advantage of her when she was in the coma. Asuka shudders as her contemplation of brought back flashes of additional memories: being mind-raped by the 15th Angel and her mother's attempt to kill her before committing suicide. Asuka is in a trance, staring at Shinji as memories of her most traumatizing moments flowed into her mind, like when the 15th Angel mind-raped her a few weeks ago.

"NOOOOOO!!! Not this again! I don't want to remember ANY of this! Please!! STOP!!"

Images streamed into her mind of Shinji undressing her while she was unconscious and unable to run away or fight back as Shinji's lust possessed him to commit such horrendous acts. She had actually been semi-aware at the time but her body was still comatose while her mind was awake; she had no conscious recall of the ordeal upon awakening, at least not until this point.

"I especially don't want to remember that!!! NOOOO!!!"

As her sanity began to deteriorate, she secretly grabbed a syringe and filled it with concentrated potassium cyanide. Tearfully and with trembling hands, she injected the syringe into Shinji's medicine pouch attached to his body via tubes, instead of directly injecting it into him for fear of waking him up.



5 hours later...



Asuka is hiding in the corner of the vacant hospital room next to Shinji's with her head on her knees weeping. She hears the conversation from the other room. She barely hears a nurse talking to Misato.

"Bad news Major. Looks like the 3rd Child didn't make it."

"WHAT?? OH MY GOD, THIS CAN'T BE!!! SHINJI!!!!!"

"I'm so sorry.. that's all we could do for him."

"Only yesterday, he was brooding over having done something horribly wrong to Asuka. He had been yearning to apologize to her but that moment never came.. How tragic to die at such an early age in such a way. I'm so sorry for what I ordered you to do, Shinji!" The nurse then pulled the blanket covering all of Shinji's body. Misato clutches onto the covered body and buries her face in the blanket, weeping even louder than before.

"First Kaji, now Shinji! WHY??? I no longer have a desire to live!!"

Realizing that Shinji had realized the vileness of his deed and intended to give an apology, Asuka begins to sob uncontrollably. Sitting next to her on the ground was the syringe with cyanide she used to kill Shinji. It was still half full.

The End.



Author's Notes:



This is my very first fanfic. Now why did I write a darkfic as my first? When watching End of Evangelion, I was quite saddened by the ending but at the same time, I was drawn to Anno's style. The dark and destructive ending simply took me by surprise and blew me away. I'll try to reproduce such here.

I'll apologize if you're Shinji or Asuka fan, having read of their tragic death. I, too, am a fan of Shinji and Asuka, and I'm in the process of working on a more upbeat fanfic, so please check back in the future!