Well, Ash and Chels are back yet again...enjoy more random shit!! This is
just a retarded version of "Dream A Little Dream" With Corey Haim and Corey
Feldman. Stupid annoying old people, but HOT hotties in GRUNGE!
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Chapter 1 - Robbie And Dinghole
======
"Chelsea! Wake up, dammit!" Ashley smacked her sister across the face with her hand.
Chelsea snorted awake. "Huh? What?" She asked angrily.
"You're quoting 'Newsies' in your sleep again!"
"Eat me...." She dozed off again, laying her face against the car window, her tongue hanging out.
"If you girls don't stop arguing I'll turn this car right back around." Their father, Kevin Bacon-look alike scolded for the fourteenth time.
"You said that before but we didn't." Ashley sneered. "So there."
"Your mom." Kevin Bacon muttered.
"That's your wife, you moronic moron!" Ashley giggled, bouncing up and down, and smacking her head into the ceiling of the car.
"NEVER FEAR BROOKLYN IS HERE!" Quoth the Chelsea.
-
"This house smells like old people!" Chelsea stated as Kevin Bacon Look Alike, Ashley and her stepped into their new house that was previously own by - you guess it, old people.
"Smells like your momma!"
"Raggin' on my madre!? DUDE!" Chelsea was aghast, and ran outside into the garden. "Pretty flowers!" She began to eat the flowers, only to be run down by a pair of dingy sneakers and black suede shoes. Ashley laughed from the balcony. Chelsea was dazed for a moment, and then finally came to and saw a hot face staring back at her, who looked hot.
"SAM EMERSON!" She exclaimed giddily, scrambling to her feet. She hugged 'Sam', only to be greeted with the smell of smoke.
"Uh . ." 'Sam' stuttered, looking a little wasted.
"HOLY SHYZAH!" Ashley yelped from the balcony. Using her vampirific powers from the previous story, she floated down beside 'Sam's' friend, who coincidentally looked like Edgar Frog. "EDGAR FROG! I WUB YOU!" She gave the boy in the leather jacket a hug, who exchanged frightened looks with 'Sam'.
"My name's not Edgar," 'Edgar' shoved Ashley away. "It's Bobby."
"CAN I CALL YOU BOB!!?"
"No."
Ashley cried.
"And I'm Ding-ger." 'Sam' said proudly, lifting his chin high.
"Isn't it Dinger? Not like... Ding-Ger." Chelsea over annunciated the G so it sounded even more retarded than the nickname really was. Dinger was hot with dyed red hair and a dirty smelly green jacket with patches of the air force all over it. Bobby had a leather jacket with chains and long, greasy black hair. Hot, also.
"We're going to school, now . . " Dinger tried to slink away, but Chelsea gripped him by the ankles.
"Don't leave me!" Then she added for her benefit, "Take your shirt off."
"Let's go, Bobby! Hurry!" Dinger tried to drag this girl and gesture to his friend at the same time, but Bobby was in the bushes with Ashley at the moment. "BOBBY!!" Bobby suddenly appeared, covered in dirt. Billy Baldwin emerged too, holding a censored sign to prevent little children from watching that gratuitous sex scene the writers stuck in.
"Let's go!" Dinger ordered, still Chelsea dragging at his ankles.
"Coming!" Bobby, who was desperate to score, hugged Ashley and ran off, arms flailing.
Dinger, not THAT desperate to score, kicked Chelsea in the face and ran off, legs flailing.
Ashley and Chelsea looked at each other with the same words echoing in their minds.
'Stalk'
======================
"Do you think this is the school we'll be going to tomorrow morning?" Chelsea asked stupidly, knowing full well that the answer was yes.
"Yes, you doorknob!" Ashley hit her on the forehead.
"I don't think sneaking in the school and stalking two boys will make a good impression."
"FUCK IMPRESSIONS!" Ashley shot her fist in the air, and everyone within earshot turned and shot the two girls evil looks and covered their children's ears. Chelsea silently wondered were her savior, Billy Baldwin was.
"I say fuck Sarah Jacobs." Chelsea said not-so-thoughtfully.
"Right. She's gay."
"Gay for Les."
"How true, how true."
"Eggs."
"Cheeseburger?"
"Does out conversations EVER go anywhere?" Chelsea questioned stupidly, because the answer was obviously 'no'.
The two girls walked into the huge building that was swarming with kids dressed in baggy clothes and spinning pizza boxes. Chelsea saw one imp take a swig of alcohol from a canteen thing but she just laughed.
"Drinkie drinkie!"
"Where are the hotties?" Ashley asked, running into the row of lockers.
Chelsea put her back to the lockers and spread her arms as if she was a secret agent. She hummed the 'mission impossible theme' while she pretended to hold a gun. She ran into some guy that had a blue suede jacket on with tassels hanging off them.
"Howdy!" He said perkily.
"HOWDY THERE PARTNER!" Chelsea exclaimed, suppressing laughter after seeing the ugly tassels dangling off the boys jacket.
"I'm Joel."
"I'm scared."
"Nice to meet you."
"No, I meant - "
"Do you know where Robbie and Dinghole are?" Ashley bounced up to the cowboy wannabe and Chelsea, occasionally batting at the tassels hanging off Joel's jacket like a cat.
"You mean . .Bobby and Dinger?" Joel supplied.
"YES!" Chelsea and Ashley said in unison.
"They're probably in the gym drooling at the girls in leotards."
"Sluts." Chelsea and Ashley muttered together.
"NO WAY! One of them is my girlfriend. Lainie. Lainie Diamond." Joel said as he dazed off into space. Probably thinking about his girlfriend. Chelsea slapped him.
"Help us find Dinger and Bobby!" She ordered, and Joel obeyed and led them to the gym. While Ashley and Chelsea insisted that the world will know, Joel struggled not to pull his hair out. They finally got to the gym and sure enough, ugly sluts were prancing around the gym trying to seduce the walls. Some movements were a little vulgar for naive Chelsea's tastes, and she still wondered where Billy Baldwin was at.
"DINGER!" She yelled across the gym, a couple of leotard girls falling over from shock.
"BOOBY!" Ashley cackled because she said 'booby'.
Dinger and Bobby gaped at the two retards, and nearly fell over themselves.
"What the hell!?" Dinger was in shock.
"RUN!" Bobby shouted, running into a wall.
"Wow. It's like a match made in heaven." Chelsea commented. Ashley slapped Chelsea.
Dinger and Bobby had no where to run because a huge herd of naked Billy Baldwin's had appeared, blocking the two grungy boys' way with large censored signs over their goods.
"Moo ha ha ha!" Chelsea tried to laugh evilly.
"Now you HAVE to hang out with us!" Ashley said triumphantly, linking arms with Bobby and biting him.
"Ow. You rough little schmo."
"WOW! We say 'schmo' too!" Ashley exclaimed, falling over.
Chelsea flailed her arms. "I think I'm in love!" She started to bat Dingers earring that was dangling just above his shoulder.
"I'm frightened. I need a stiff drink." Dinger stormed off underneath the Billy's and Bobby followed suit. Ashley slapped Chelsea.
"Why did you scare them off!?"
"ME!?" Chelsea was flabbergasted. "You BIT Bobby and you're saying *I* scared them away!?"
"YES!" Ashley seemed convinced of herself.
"SLUT!"
"WHORE!"
"Bobby's whore!"
"SO!?"
"David's whore!"
"That's RUDE mister!"
"Let's go after them." Chelsea suggested.
"Nah." Ashley gave a tired look.
"Yeah. I'm hungry."
"First we feast, then we felony!"
"No. First we eat, go to school, then we felony, then we come home and meditate while listening to 'Lost In The Shadows' on repeat." Chelsea rambled.
"Oh yeah. Sounds good."
"What shall we eat?"
"I don't know."
"I don't know either."
There was a heavy silence and Chelsea was tempted to look under one of the Billy's censored cards.
"Let's eat EGGS!" Ashley bellowed, leading the way through the herd of Billy's and out of the school. Chelsea and she shouted Michael after everything they said.
==========================================
======
Chapter 1 - Robbie And Dinghole
======
"Chelsea! Wake up, dammit!" Ashley smacked her sister across the face with her hand.
Chelsea snorted awake. "Huh? What?" She asked angrily.
"You're quoting 'Newsies' in your sleep again!"
"Eat me...." She dozed off again, laying her face against the car window, her tongue hanging out.
"If you girls don't stop arguing I'll turn this car right back around." Their father, Kevin Bacon-look alike scolded for the fourteenth time.
"You said that before but we didn't." Ashley sneered. "So there."
"Your mom." Kevin Bacon muttered.
"That's your wife, you moronic moron!" Ashley giggled, bouncing up and down, and smacking her head into the ceiling of the car.
"NEVER FEAR BROOKLYN IS HERE!" Quoth the Chelsea.
-
"This house smells like old people!" Chelsea stated as Kevin Bacon Look Alike, Ashley and her stepped into their new house that was previously own by - you guess it, old people.
"Smells like your momma!"
"Raggin' on my madre!? DUDE!" Chelsea was aghast, and ran outside into the garden. "Pretty flowers!" She began to eat the flowers, only to be run down by a pair of dingy sneakers and black suede shoes. Ashley laughed from the balcony. Chelsea was dazed for a moment, and then finally came to and saw a hot face staring back at her, who looked hot.
"SAM EMERSON!" She exclaimed giddily, scrambling to her feet. She hugged 'Sam', only to be greeted with the smell of smoke.
"Uh . ." 'Sam' stuttered, looking a little wasted.
"HOLY SHYZAH!" Ashley yelped from the balcony. Using her vampirific powers from the previous story, she floated down beside 'Sam's' friend, who coincidentally looked like Edgar Frog. "EDGAR FROG! I WUB YOU!" She gave the boy in the leather jacket a hug, who exchanged frightened looks with 'Sam'.
"My name's not Edgar," 'Edgar' shoved Ashley away. "It's Bobby."
"CAN I CALL YOU BOB!!?"
"No."
Ashley cried.
"And I'm Ding-ger." 'Sam' said proudly, lifting his chin high.
"Isn't it Dinger? Not like... Ding-Ger." Chelsea over annunciated the G so it sounded even more retarded than the nickname really was. Dinger was hot with dyed red hair and a dirty smelly green jacket with patches of the air force all over it. Bobby had a leather jacket with chains and long, greasy black hair. Hot, also.
"We're going to school, now . . " Dinger tried to slink away, but Chelsea gripped him by the ankles.
"Don't leave me!" Then she added for her benefit, "Take your shirt off."
"Let's go, Bobby! Hurry!" Dinger tried to drag this girl and gesture to his friend at the same time, but Bobby was in the bushes with Ashley at the moment. "BOBBY!!" Bobby suddenly appeared, covered in dirt. Billy Baldwin emerged too, holding a censored sign to prevent little children from watching that gratuitous sex scene the writers stuck in.
"Let's go!" Dinger ordered, still Chelsea dragging at his ankles.
"Coming!" Bobby, who was desperate to score, hugged Ashley and ran off, arms flailing.
Dinger, not THAT desperate to score, kicked Chelsea in the face and ran off, legs flailing.
Ashley and Chelsea looked at each other with the same words echoing in their minds.
'Stalk'
======================
"Do you think this is the school we'll be going to tomorrow morning?" Chelsea asked stupidly, knowing full well that the answer was yes.
"Yes, you doorknob!" Ashley hit her on the forehead.
"I don't think sneaking in the school and stalking two boys will make a good impression."
"FUCK IMPRESSIONS!" Ashley shot her fist in the air, and everyone within earshot turned and shot the two girls evil looks and covered their children's ears. Chelsea silently wondered were her savior, Billy Baldwin was.
"I say fuck Sarah Jacobs." Chelsea said not-so-thoughtfully.
"Right. She's gay."
"Gay for Les."
"How true, how true."
"Eggs."
"Cheeseburger?"
"Does out conversations EVER go anywhere?" Chelsea questioned stupidly, because the answer was obviously 'no'.
The two girls walked into the huge building that was swarming with kids dressed in baggy clothes and spinning pizza boxes. Chelsea saw one imp take a swig of alcohol from a canteen thing but she just laughed.
"Drinkie drinkie!"
"Where are the hotties?" Ashley asked, running into the row of lockers.
Chelsea put her back to the lockers and spread her arms as if she was a secret agent. She hummed the 'mission impossible theme' while she pretended to hold a gun. She ran into some guy that had a blue suede jacket on with tassels hanging off them.
"Howdy!" He said perkily.
"HOWDY THERE PARTNER!" Chelsea exclaimed, suppressing laughter after seeing the ugly tassels dangling off the boys jacket.
"I'm Joel."
"I'm scared."
"Nice to meet you."
"No, I meant - "
"Do you know where Robbie and Dinghole are?" Ashley bounced up to the cowboy wannabe and Chelsea, occasionally batting at the tassels hanging off Joel's jacket like a cat.
"You mean . .Bobby and Dinger?" Joel supplied.
"YES!" Chelsea and Ashley said in unison.
"They're probably in the gym drooling at the girls in leotards."
"Sluts." Chelsea and Ashley muttered together.
"NO WAY! One of them is my girlfriend. Lainie. Lainie Diamond." Joel said as he dazed off into space. Probably thinking about his girlfriend. Chelsea slapped him.
"Help us find Dinger and Bobby!" She ordered, and Joel obeyed and led them to the gym. While Ashley and Chelsea insisted that the world will know, Joel struggled not to pull his hair out. They finally got to the gym and sure enough, ugly sluts were prancing around the gym trying to seduce the walls. Some movements were a little vulgar for naive Chelsea's tastes, and she still wondered where Billy Baldwin was at.
"DINGER!" She yelled across the gym, a couple of leotard girls falling over from shock.
"BOOBY!" Ashley cackled because she said 'booby'.
Dinger and Bobby gaped at the two retards, and nearly fell over themselves.
"What the hell!?" Dinger was in shock.
"RUN!" Bobby shouted, running into a wall.
"Wow. It's like a match made in heaven." Chelsea commented. Ashley slapped Chelsea.
Dinger and Bobby had no where to run because a huge herd of naked Billy Baldwin's had appeared, blocking the two grungy boys' way with large censored signs over their goods.
"Moo ha ha ha!" Chelsea tried to laugh evilly.
"Now you HAVE to hang out with us!" Ashley said triumphantly, linking arms with Bobby and biting him.
"Ow. You rough little schmo."
"WOW! We say 'schmo' too!" Ashley exclaimed, falling over.
Chelsea flailed her arms. "I think I'm in love!" She started to bat Dingers earring that was dangling just above his shoulder.
"I'm frightened. I need a stiff drink." Dinger stormed off underneath the Billy's and Bobby followed suit. Ashley slapped Chelsea.
"Why did you scare them off!?"
"ME!?" Chelsea was flabbergasted. "You BIT Bobby and you're saying *I* scared them away!?"
"YES!" Ashley seemed convinced of herself.
"SLUT!"
"WHORE!"
"Bobby's whore!"
"SO!?"
"David's whore!"
"That's RUDE mister!"
"Let's go after them." Chelsea suggested.
"Nah." Ashley gave a tired look.
"Yeah. I'm hungry."
"First we feast, then we felony!"
"No. First we eat, go to school, then we felony, then we come home and meditate while listening to 'Lost In The Shadows' on repeat." Chelsea rambled.
"Oh yeah. Sounds good."
"What shall we eat?"
"I don't know."
"I don't know either."
There was a heavy silence and Chelsea was tempted to look under one of the Billy's censored cards.
"Let's eat EGGS!" Ashley bellowed, leading the way through the herd of Billy's and out of the school. Chelsea and she shouted Michael after everything they said.
==========================================