Life and Love
By: Alicia Maxwell
Song: Swing, Swing by All-American Rejects
 
               Jin had gotten used to waking up alone, to going out and not having anyone to say goodbye to, and he'd gotten used to coming home and finding no one there.  It still hurt though.  He missed her.  She was a sweet, gentle woman.  How could he have let her go?
               He laid down to go to bed, but sleep was not easily attained.  His dreams were of her again.  They always were, ever since she left.  He saw her with other men in these dreams, and she seemed happy with them.  It made his heart ache, even if it was a dream, to see her so happy without him.
               Jin awoke for the tenth time that night at three in the morning.  If she were there, she would have made him feel better and she would have helped him get back to sleep.  But she was gone.  That was the whole reason he was having trouble sleeping in the first place.  Then hot tears began racing down his cheeks.  Jin had been raise as a firm believer in 'real men don't cry.'  However, even that couldn't stop him.  He cried his eyes out.
 
Days swiftly come and go.
I'm dreaming of her
She's seeing other guys
Emotions they stir
The sun is gone.
The nights are long
And I am left while the tears fall.
 
               The next morning, Jin awoke to a ringing phone.  He got up and checked the caller identification before picking up.  It was her.  He answered anyway, though he typically would just let it ring.
               "Hi, Jin.  It's me," Alicia said softly.
               "Oh, hey Alicia," he answered.
               "Are you alright, Jin?" she asked.  "Your voice sounds strained… like you're losing your voice."
               "Must o' been all th' cryin' last night," he thought.  "No, no, I'm fine Alicia.  I swear."
               "I'm glad to hear that.  I just called to see if you were doing okay," she fumbled nervously with the phone cord as she spoke.
               "Well now ye know- I'm doin' fine.  Goodbye, Alicia," Jin hung up.  "I wonder if she knows th' same loneliness I'm feelin'."
 
Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new
                                              
                "I wish I knew how she thought," Jin said to himself as he flew through the sky.  "She ended the relationship, tore me soul apart, an' now she's either toying with me or actually tryin to 'elp me get over 'er." Jin stopped instinctively but he didn't know why his instincts told him to.  Then he looked down, saw Alicia's home, and realized why.  "I wish I knew how she thought."
 
Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.
 
               "I swear I'm doing alright for meself Alicia!" Jin told her.  "I'm moving on."
               "I'm glad to hear it… but I don't believe it.  I'm sorry about this, Jin.  Are things too hard on you this way?" Alicia asked.  She had broken up with him, but Jin still only saw her kind gentle soul.  She only wanted to help him.  She was such a sweet little lass.
               "No, no," Jin waved a hand in dismissal.  "Don't worry."  
               Silence passed between them.
               "Alicia, did you break up with me cause o' the fight we had?" Jin broke the silence.
               "Jin, we both know you were wrong.  That's not the issue though.  Look, I'd like to give these back," she handed over a couple dozen papers.
               "These are…," Jin looked through the papers, "They're me old letters to ye."
               "I thought you might want them back," Alicia fidgeted, "all things considered."
               "Yeah," Jin replied.  "God, the more she says and does, the more I ache, but I love her now more than e'er.  This is a new love I'm feeling now," he thought as silence passed between the two again.
 
Wish cast into the sky
I'm moving on
Sweet beginnings do arise
She knows I was wrong
The notes are old,
They bend, they fold
and so do I to a new love.
 
               "Are you sure you're okay, Jin?" Alicia asked.
               "Alicia," Jin sighed.  "Out o' the thirty times you ha' called tonight, how many times has I said otherwise?"
               "None…," Alicia sighed.
               "Alright then.  There ye go. G'night," Jin hung up.  "I's startin ta think she's wantin to hear me cry…"
 
Did you think that I would cry,
on the phone?
Do you know what it feels like,
being alone?
I'll find someone new
 
               Jin had gone on another flight over the city.  He wanted to search Alicia out.  She had crushed his heart but he still loved her.  He wanted to set things right between them again.  He wanted things to be right again so she could help him move on.
 
Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.
 
               Jin wasn't happy when he found Alicia.  She was with another man- about five foot eight inches tall, short brown hair, and vibrant green eyes.  She was happy with this man… which made Jin miserable beyond words.  He wished to die at that very instant.
               "Oh, hello Jin," Alicia said.  "Jin, this is Hiten.  Hiten, this is Jin."
               "Alicia, may I ha' a word with ye?" Jin pulled the girl aside.  "Alicia, I ha' somethin to tell ye- I'm not alright.  I've been cryin e'ery night and waking up e'ery day hopin it's the day you'll come back.  I jus' lost all purpose in life right now.  Kill me, please.  Ye can bury me under the floorboards in our old apartment.  I've checked it out- there's 'nough space under there for me."
               "Okay, the fact that you know that really scares me," Alicia said.  "Why are you so suicidal all of a s--?  Hiten?"
               "Hiten," Jin nodded.
               "Oh God!" Alicia laughed.  "Jin, Hiten's my next-door neighbor!  We're just friends!  Plus, he's over six years younger than me!"
               "Okay, change 'n plans, I wanna be carried away now… by angels 'f possible, so I can escape this humiliation," Jin thought to himself.
 
Bury me
You thought your problems were gone
Carry me
Away, away, away...
 
               "Jin," Alicia said.  "Jin, are you really so depressed because I left?"
               "Yeah," Jin sighed, running a hand through his hair.
               "Well, to be honest," Alicia frowned, "I called you so much because I told myself I'd only go back if you said I was missed and wanted.  Every second of every day I wanted to come back."
               "Ye mean it?" Jin asked.  Alicia nodded softly.  "Alicia, me lil lass," Jin kissed her gently.  "I'm sorry 'bout all this."
               "Me too," Alicia kissed him back.
 
Swing, Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love
Can you help me find a way
To carry on again.