Chapter 2: TOOK FOR GRANTED
"Huh!" Heero gasped and panted heavily as he woke up from his nightmare. Cold sweat ran through his cheek.
"Duo…"
He touched his forehead as he felt reality come back to life. He held his blanket tightly and closed his eyes. He thought hard. Slowly, he let lines of pain cover his face.
It's this feeling again… Why?*
Heero felt his chest tighten and move upwards.
This… what Quatre calls…
Heero's heart contracted more as he felt a burning sensation trailed his cheeks.
Crying…
Heero remembers the first time he felt this emotional turmoil. He remembered he was just sitting there, his Prussian blue eyes reflecting the shock he had felt earlier.
"H-heero? I think you should rest…" Quatre stood near the door of Heero's apartment.
Heero turned to Quatre, his eyes still the same. Quatre gasped at the moment he saw Heero's eyes. His eyes… pain is locked in his eyes… Heero's expressing his pain. Could this mean…?
"Quatre," Heero's low tenor disturbed Quatre's thinking.
"Yes Heero? Do you need me to prepare you some tea so you could sleep better?"
Heero ignored Quatre's words and went on. "Did I…?"
Quatre's face was lined with confusion. He knew what he was going to say. And even he doesn't know what to answer.
"Did I kill him?" Heero bowed his head.
Quatre neared Heero. He was hoping he could say the right words, he was hoping he could be of comfort, but he knows he also needs recovering.
"Of course not Heero…" Quatre was searching for words. "You… you only did what you had to."
"Then it was my decision that killed him. My decision…"
"Don't think of it too much, you'll only strain yourself. Maybe you need some…" Quatre stopped. "Heero?" His eyes widened.
"Heero? Are you… are you crying?"
Heero lifted his face. His cheeks were wet with tears.
"What is this? Why this?" Heero questioned.
Quatre felt the pain his comrade was suffering from. At that moment, he understood fully what the soldier's true feelings are. "Ssshhh," Quatre hushed, "It's just normal. Just let go of that feeling…"
Heero stood. His memories of the past were haunting him again. He shook his head, trying to ward off his thoughts.
It's been three years now. Three years of this hellish nightmare. Damn it, I wanna wake up now. Duo… I guess I took you for granted.