The Adventures of a Pot Holder in Japan
Chapter One: The Begining of Hell
It was a normal day for Simon McFwickton, a pot holder who lived in Tokyo, Japan. He was the favored pot holder of Miss Ayu Misaka, an overworked Japanese house wife who had mothered ten ungrateful children who hated her. Simon the potholder was her only friend after her husband died in a boating accident. She would spill out her heart to Simon nightly, confessing her burning hatred of her children and her elbaorate plans to murder them by poisoning their food with cancer and SARS. Simon dutifully served his only love without fail for many years. Never did her fragile hands become burned by the steaming pot of rice. Oh, how Simon longed to become a real man so he could love the middle aged Ayu Misaka like a real man. He wished this for many years, even after Ayu shoved a skewer through his daughter for looking at RACIST HENTAI. Then, one day, a magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble appeared in front of Simon Mc Fwickton.
"SIMON MCFWICKTON!" said the magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble.
"Yes sir I am pot holder from Fujiyaka Industrial Waste concern what is your wish ma'am?" said Simon.
"I HAVE COME TO TURN YOU INTO A REAL MAN CAPABLE OF LOVING MISS AYU MISAKA!"
"Yse I would like that very much I am so very happy!"
"BUT THERE IS ONE THING YOU MUST REMEMBER!"
"What is it oh I am very happy."
"YOU CAN NO LONGER HOLD POTS!"
Simon gapsed in horror at this prospect. If he could no longer hold pots, would his love still think of him as the irresistable love machine that he was because he could hold pots? Would she reject him and throw him in the trash like her children? Would...would she, oh it is unthinkable but this must be mentioned....BURN HER HANDS HOLDING POTS?! After some time, Simon decided that he would become a real man so he could love Miss Ayu Misaka-san-chan-sempai-suffix right. So, in a blast of super happy wonderful faery magiks, Simon McFwickton became a real Japanese man. He stood six feet tall and his body bulged with muscles. Then the magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble blew up because he had SARS.
Then, Miss Ayu Misaka, the one true love of Simon McFwickton the former pot holder frm Fujiyaka Industrial Waste Concern, walked into her cramped apartment carrying a grocery bag containing the following items: bread, rice, jelly, bread, batteries, a magazine, band aids, paper, soap, VX poison, a newspaper, two hats, bread, a fake mustache, a new tooth brush, an old tooth brush, tooth paste, nonexistant tooth paste and a book with lots of naughty pictures (DON'T LOOK AT NAUGHTY PICS KIDS YOU WILL END UP LIKE ME!). Suddenly she saw erotic and irresistable unclothed body of Simon McFwickton, former pot holder. She instantly rushed forward and was about to kiss him like she had always wanted to, but then Simon pushed her away.
"But I must, Simon!" she pleaded.
"I am not ready to make that commitment with you Miss Ayu Misaka!" said Simon. "But maybe in the next chapter we will have really hard core sex that will trump anything on fanfiction.net...EVAR!"
"Yes that will be quite enjoyable to the creeps who read this garbage," said Miss Ayu Misaka.
Suddenly, Mario and Luigi appeared.
"YOUR LOVE WILL NEVER LAST!" screeched Luigi.
"WE HAVE COME TO KIDNAP MISS AYU MISAKA FOR KING BOWSER!"
"You shall never win!" said Simon.
o noe tihs is gettign qwhite hot. saty tuend 4 part 2too.
To be continued in Chapter Two: SUPER HARD CORE
Chapter One: The Begining of Hell
It was a normal day for Simon McFwickton, a pot holder who lived in Tokyo, Japan. He was the favored pot holder of Miss Ayu Misaka, an overworked Japanese house wife who had mothered ten ungrateful children who hated her. Simon the potholder was her only friend after her husband died in a boating accident. She would spill out her heart to Simon nightly, confessing her burning hatred of her children and her elbaorate plans to murder them by poisoning their food with cancer and SARS. Simon dutifully served his only love without fail for many years. Never did her fragile hands become burned by the steaming pot of rice. Oh, how Simon longed to become a real man so he could love the middle aged Ayu Misaka like a real man. He wished this for many years, even after Ayu shoved a skewer through his daughter for looking at RACIST HENTAI. Then, one day, a magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble appeared in front of Simon Mc Fwickton.
"SIMON MCFWICKTON!" said the magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble.
"Yes sir I am pot holder from Fujiyaka Industrial Waste concern what is your wish ma'am?" said Simon.
"I HAVE COME TO TURN YOU INTO A REAL MAN CAPABLE OF LOVING MISS AYU MISAKA!"
"Yse I would like that very much I am so very happy!"
"BUT THERE IS ONE THING YOU MUST REMEMBER!"
"What is it oh I am very happy."
"YOU CAN NO LONGER HOLD POTS!"
Simon gapsed in horror at this prospect. If he could no longer hold pots, would his love still think of him as the irresistable love machine that he was because he could hold pots? Would she reject him and throw him in the trash like her children? Would...would she, oh it is unthinkable but this must be mentioned....BURN HER HANDS HOLDING POTS?! After some time, Simon decided that he would become a real man so he could love Miss Ayu Misaka-san-chan-sempai-suffix right. So, in a blast of super happy wonderful faery magiks, Simon McFwickton became a real Japanese man. He stood six feet tall and his body bulged with muscles. Then the magic elf sorcerer faery Woorble blew up because he had SARS.
Then, Miss Ayu Misaka, the one true love of Simon McFwickton the former pot holder frm Fujiyaka Industrial Waste Concern, walked into her cramped apartment carrying a grocery bag containing the following items: bread, rice, jelly, bread, batteries, a magazine, band aids, paper, soap, VX poison, a newspaper, two hats, bread, a fake mustache, a new tooth brush, an old tooth brush, tooth paste, nonexistant tooth paste and a book with lots of naughty pictures (DON'T LOOK AT NAUGHTY PICS KIDS YOU WILL END UP LIKE ME!). Suddenly she saw erotic and irresistable unclothed body of Simon McFwickton, former pot holder. She instantly rushed forward and was about to kiss him like she had always wanted to, but then Simon pushed her away.
"But I must, Simon!" she pleaded.
"I am not ready to make that commitment with you Miss Ayu Misaka!" said Simon. "But maybe in the next chapter we will have really hard core sex that will trump anything on fanfiction.net...EVAR!"
"Yes that will be quite enjoyable to the creeps who read this garbage," said Miss Ayu Misaka.
Suddenly, Mario and Luigi appeared.
"YOUR LOVE WILL NEVER LAST!" screeched Luigi.
"WE HAVE COME TO KIDNAP MISS AYU MISAKA FOR KING BOWSER!"
"You shall never win!" said Simon.
o noe tihs is gettign qwhite hot. saty tuend 4 part 2too.
To be continued in Chapter Two: SUPER HARD CORE