Writer dude's notes: Well, first off, I'll give a big thanks to everyone that actually read my stories despite their lousy titles and an even bigger thanks to those who sacrificed whole seconds of their lives to write a review; I'm touched! Ok, now the serious stuff: this might be my last fic for a substantial time because as much as I would like to write all day, my college instructors asked me so nicely to do homework, I wouldn't think of disappointing them... so, you've guessed; all good things have an end and I'll end this one to keep it good. Thanks again to everyone who've laughed at my jokes and enjoy!
This story takes place after the second one (video games)
(Friday afternoon; way back from school)
Tish: Oh it's ok!
Tino: No, it's not ok, I feel like I ate a month-old sushi...
Lor: Actually, he should be the one feeling that right now.
(Apart)
Tino: Oh hey there! It's Tino the wimp, the gutless, the girl... yeah I know those aren't exactly my usual vocabulary but the show is off TV anyway. What happened to me? Well, I just found out that I'm totally wimpy... I could get beat up by a squirrel! ...oh wait that actually happened that day, bad example... So, there was that big guy playing basketball after school and he pushed Lor and knocked her down so she called me for help! That's right! I've had like negative zero fights in my entire life... I mean how can I pretend to defend Lor if the only way I can help is getting on my knees and saying "Please don't hurt me!"? Anyway, I just stood there and the guy laughed at my face until it hurt him really bad...
Tish: Do you guys know where Carver is? I haven't seen him since he left class...
Lor: Yeah! He can help you! Remember that time he nearly passed for a tough guy?
Tino: Not this weekend I'm afraid; there are new Tommy Hugo shoes coming out and he is camping at the mall.
Lor: Oh well, I guess you'll just have to wait!
Tino: Oh man... I couldn't possibly survive another week with this kind of reputation.
Lor: You could hide in a dumpster for a week! I hear there was a guy who survived seven days eating nothing but junk food... he ended up in a junkyard though...
Tino: No thanks, I can kill myself with my mom's dinner any day...
Tish: Don't worry, we'll go find Carver!
(Saturday Morning; The mall; Carver is staring mindlessly at a closed door among some other fashion freaks)
Carv: T minus twenty!
Other fashion freaks: Ooooh!
Lor: Hey Carv! We need your help.
Carv: Guys what's up?
Tino: My life is over once more that's what's up!
Tish: Tino thinks he's a chicken because some guy laughed at him near school and... Hey Carver! Are you listening?
Other fashion freaks: T minus ten!
Carver (Looses it; stares blankly at the door): Ooooh! So shiny!
Tino: It's no use... the last time, even free chili cheese fries couldn't get him out of this trance!
Tish: There must be a logical explanation for that!
Lor: Yeah! It's obvious: it's a voodoo spell...
Other fashion freaks: T minus five... four...
Carv: Guys, I'll get... agggh... shhoooooee...
(A doorman in armor opens the door; Carv resists for a second but then turns zombie again and runs into the door with the other shoe freaks trampling the doorman)
Doorman: Aoow... it's the life I chose...
Tino: All we can do is to wait for it to go away.
Tish: As long as it doesn't take the whole morning...
(Four hours later; the gang is back at Carver's house)
Carv: So, how do you think of my new shoes?
Lor: They look exactly like the ones you had!
Carv: Blasphemous! They are way cooler! ... Oh wait you're right, those are the old ones, the new ones are over here!
Tish: So how much did they cost?
Carv: ...uhh... well...
Lor: Let me guess, you are one dollar short to have a dollar, right?
Carv: Actually two, I had to borrow a dollar for my fries today.
Tino: Carver? I require a SCG.
Carv: Sit down. You session of coolness guidance has begun.
Tino: Ok, it started yesterday; Lor was playing basketball with some high school kid and I was watching, then she got into with one of them and somehow, she mentioned me defending her... that guy looked at me and just laughed till we had to call an ambulance!
Carv: I see... type B humiliation-related syndrome...
Tino: I would say type A, he really nearly died!
Carv: Tino, what you need is to look tougher and more imposing!
Tino: I could have told you that before I came here! ...Tish told me the same thing outside... So, what do you propose?
Carv: Let me think...
Tino (scared): Oy!
Carv: T, if you want to look like a tough guy, dress like one!
Tish: That actually might work! Most people perceive only the external layer of one's envelope and judge on its appearance.
Lor: One of my brothers has a leather jacket! I can go get it.
Tish: And I can write an over-the-top-cliché tough guys' expressions list by then!
Tino: Excellent, we'll meet at my house; remember my life is at stake!
(Saturday Afternoon; Tino's)
Lor: Where's Carver?
Tish: He said he didn't want to walk outside with his new shoes...
Tino: Why doesn't he take them off?
Tish: He said he doesn't want to leave them home alone...
Lor: Put this on!
(She gives Tino a jacket)
Tino: It looks pretty good but why are there holes and "evidence" written on it?
Lor: I don't know, I'm not supposed to ask...
Tish: Oh and read this.
(She gives him notes)
Tino: Ok, I just can't read this! It's completely against my principles!
Lor: Boo!
Tino: Aahh! ...Oh I see! Good point...
(He reads in front of a mirror, trying to look scary)
Tino: You're talking to me? You think I'm afraid of you? You want a slice of th...
(Tino's mom runs in the room and takes a picture of him in action)
T Mom: Oinks!
(She runs out)
Tino: Aahh! What th... Oh man! I'll see this one on the fridge... And what are you guys laughing at me for?
Tish: Sorry Tino but I too have the feeling this is not gonna fly!
Lor: You could really make him die of laughter this time!
Tino: Great! Betrayed by the most loyal of all! Well, that's what I get for trusting Carver's ideas...
Lor: Oh I'm sorry... hey! I have an idea; I heard kids playing violent video games are more aggressive than average. I could teach you a couple of tricks...
Tish: Actually there is a report on children's tendency toward aggressiveness caused by video games but I don't think...
Lor: ...Even Tish agrees! Come on!
(She takes Tino by the hand and nearly drags him out leaving Tish alone)
Tish: ...Yeah don't listen... forgive me for existing... I'll go try my luck on Carver...
(Saturday afternoon; Carver's)
Carv: Thanks for the hot dogs Tish!
Tish: Those WERE my lunch...
Carv: ...oh! Sorry bout' that! I suppose the fries were too, uh?
Tish: Carver... I got to ask you something...
Carv: I'm listening...
Tish (hesitates): Have you... I mean do you... think... those shoes sure are cool eh?
Carv: Those horrors? They're terrible!
Tish: You're wearing the same!
Carv: Did I say terrible? I meant terrific! Hehe! That means the same thing... in French...
Tish: Have you ever felt... like... you'd really liked to be with someone...
Carv: ...Oh yeah! I did fall in love!
Tish: Really?!?
Carv: Yeah! I still remember that; it was before my first pair of shoes! It was like a dream! I had this warm fuzzy feeling in my chest and it's like they were a part of my life...
Tish: SHOES?!?
Carv: Of course! What else can it be about?
(On the phone)
Lor: Hello?
Tish: Lor!
Lor: What's up?
Tish: I ... I think I need to talk to Tino...
Lor: Can it wait? We're on playing School-Fighter 2 turbo and I'm beating him for the 50th time in a row!
Tish: I think you failed to appreciate the severity of the situation!
Lor: You didn't sound so bad!
(Background)
Carv: Hey Tish, are you gonna finish your hot... veggie-things or whatever those are?
Tish: Mmmh maybe you're right, ok let me try again... ahem! ...LOR I NEED HIS HELP! IT'S A QUESTION OF LIFE AND DEATH!
Lor: Sure, he'll be there in a minute... just let me beat him one last time!
(Background; Tino's typing on a gamepad)
Tino: YES YES YES! NOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU PRINCIPAL BISON!
Lor: Ha! Single handed! He'll be right there!
(Saturday afternoon still; Tish's room)
Tino: Thanks for calling me Tish! My moral couldn't take one more of those games... So, what's wrong?
Tish: Well... you know, I really like the way you and Lor... I mean how do you...
Tino: ...Ok fine you win, how much do you want?
(Takes out his wallet)
Tish: Ten bucks...
Tino: Here!
(He hands over the dough)
Tish: Ok now, about you and Lor, did you guys feel... you know ...bad when you couldn't see each other?
Tino: Oh, you're feeling lonely aren't you?
Tish: Maybe...
Tino: As sure as your dream of Shakespeare!
Tish: How did you kno...
Tino: I got that from my mom. Don't freak out. So, what's the problem?
Tish: I'm feeling worse by the minute... and I can't find a way to stop it...
Tino: Tish, I understand your pain but I doubt my experience has any solution to offer you... I'm sorry it's beyond me.
Tish: Oohhh... my last hope has faded into oblivion...
Tino: But I do have an idea that could solve your problem but it's highly experimental and totally untested...
Tish: It can't be worse than talking about it with Carver...
Tin: Go talk to the oracle... I mean my mom!
Tish (laughs): ... You know, unlike you I still have some dignity to preserve!
Tino: Give me my money back!
Tish: Here. Sorry!
(She hands over five bucks; Tino doesn't notice)
(Saturday night; Tino's)
T Mom: Whoa! Don't eat so fast! You're gonna choke!
Tino: Well I am trying to commit suicide!
T Mom: Ok... I sure have a lot of memories to read!
Tino: Well, let's present it like this: I tried to defend Lor against some older kid and...
T Mom: ...and I don't need to be telepath to see what happened next... Tino, if defending Lor means getting yourself into a fight, you have to understand violence doesn't solve itself! You should just avoid this guy whoever he is.
Tino: Yeah, sure! Problem solved! Oh, except that I forgot: everyone will think I'm a coward! Or should I say that it will worsen my already pathetic reputation...
T Mom: It takes more courage to refuse a fight than to accept it!
Tino: Well, try telling that to the others!
T Mom: I don't want to have to talk to those insurance guys again, you hear me? I won't get in your hair but whatever you do, just don't get hurt!
Tino: Like I do want to get hurt... I'm cowardly, remember? I just don't want to look like some tender-foot to Lor.
T Mom: It wouldn't be what Lor wants for you anyway. I swear, I'll release your picture on the web if you get just one scratch!
Tino: Yeah! About that, how much do you want for the picture?
T Mom: Every time you finish your dinner like tonight, I'll destroy a copy.
Tino: Copies?!? Oh man... I'd better get another one of that... that...
T Mom: ...Fugu fish.
Tino: Ooowww…
(Tino looses consciousness and falls on the ground)
T Mom: Hey Tino! I was just joking! Are you ok?
(Next chapter coming soon)