One

ShinSeiFuji

            The blinding light, the piercing pain, the fading voices… I thought I have already died after that moment. But I've opened my eyes to the same white ceiling that welcomed me every time I got seriously injured.

            For the third time these past six months, I woke up in a hospital. It appears I have gotten myself used to the quiet room, the white paint, the mixed scent of flowers and medicine. Even the once slightly rough cotton sheets have become comfortable to my skin.

            And yet I was feeling numb. I tried to shift my position to a more comfortable one, but my head and body protested. It was too much pain, and I've regained but little energy. Still, oddly enough, I feel warmth in my chest.

            I closed my eyes to compensate for the ache I was feeling. My head was throbbing, but I was able to recall what had happened, just before I woke up in this state.

            I have won my battle. I have finally taken revenge on Takatori. Everything's over, and I thought I had to pay for it with my life, but I guess, to whatever lucky fate I have, I'm still living…

            I guess I should be… happy? No, contented at least, now that I have avenged my father and retrieved my sister from the evil hands of Schwarz. But it really doesn't seem right as of this moment. Something just seems to be missing.

            I opened my eyes once more, this time looking at the empty chair beside the bed. There was a blanket draped over it. It must have been Omi who has been looking after me again. Ah, the poor boy. I should thank him sometime. Yohji's probably just outside too…

            I guess Weiß completed its task well this time. Considering that our foes are related to us one way or another. It was hard for the four of us.

            I suddenly winced at my own words. I have unconsciously mentioned "four", when I should have said three instead. What's with me anyway? We've long been three by now. For six months…

            I closed my eyes, wishing to forget what I've just remembered. Damn it. How could he still haunt me after all that has happened? I should have forgotten him by now. I should… Ken…

            I guess, the chair beside my bed has always reminded me of him. It was either Omi or somebody else sitting there. But never Ken.

            I remember the first time I was rushed in this hospital. I was in a critical state, I've lost much blood out of the battle we fought. I stayed in the hospital for days. Omi, Manx, and even Yohji were switching places to watch over me, but he was never there. Even when I got out of the hospital, he didn't appear 'til three days after… with not even an explanation of where he had been… simply a nod that I acknowledged. I couldn't get mad at him, after all.

            And then, there was this second time, that Farfello managed to damage my eyes, leaving me almost blind, if it weren't for a successful transplant the doctors performed. I was afraid that time, not because I couldn't stand the dark, nor was it because I couldn't continue my fight for revenge, but it was because I'd lose sight of him. His hair, his eyes, his smile that hides his lonely soul.

            I was happy when I got my sight back. But my fear was soon realized. He never came back after that. And even though I had the sense too see, I lost sight of him forever…

            I never knew why he had to leave, Persian never told us. But since then I have stopped hoping that he'll come back. After all, he has nothing that'll keep him with me. Not even my feelings for him.

            I sighed. He has plagued my mind again. His uncaring actions, his insensitive feelings, his mindless thoughts.

            Why is it, that of all people, I've fallen for someone like him? The gods must hate me so much to punish me like this… giving me emotions that linger on even after that person has left, without so much as a goodbye.

            I had to stop. I've been dwelling on my thoughts too much. Fortunately, I sensed my door knob twist and my door open ever so slightly.

            "Aya, you're awake!"

            It was Omi. I have to admit, even at that moment, I was still hoping it was him.

            "Yokatta, the doctors had us all worried, saying that you might still die even after the operation."

            I guess I was such a moron to have another operation. Somehow, I wish they could have just let me die.

            Omi's eyes narrowed. "Good thing you're okay now."

            "I guess…" I replied.

            "Anou…" Omi said, hesitating as he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. "Ken left this for you."

            I froze. Did he just say Ken? Hidaka Ken?. The Siberian? The former Weiß? The one who left me all of a sudden? The one who made my life miserable even after victory?

            I was confused. But I took the paper in my hands, trembling as I opened and saw what he had to say:

                       

                        Aya,

If you're reading this right now, it means that you're okay. I asked Manx to write this for me, and hopefully she got every word that I wanted to tell you.

First, congratulations, 'coz you've completed your mission. I guess you three are still Weiß even without me, and you're doing well.

I do hope that after this, you'll no longer injure yourself too much. It makes me really worried you know. I may have not been by your side to take care of you, but… I really do care.

I'm sorry for that. During the first time you were hospitalized, you needed blood. So I offered mine. I was placed in another room after the transfusion so I couldn't be beside you.  It's a good thing you survived after that. Up to now, it still warms my heart that part of the blood which coursed through your veins, is mine. It gave me happiness that in one way at least, we were joined.

I'm sorry also that I couldn't say goodbye to you. You see, I could no longer be a part of Weiß now that I am blind. And I couldn't face you that way. I wanted you to remember me as someone who always smiled at you, as much as I could.

You needed my eyes, and I was glad to give them to you, that in another way, at least, we were together.

But I've never been happy as I am now. 'Coz while you're reading this, I know you've received my heart, and your body has made it a part of you.

I stopped. I was trembling. My mouth was wide open at what I've just read. I looked at Omi questioningly, and he just nodded. I couldn't help but feel tears escape from my eyes as I read the final words in the paper.

And now I know, that in this way, at least by heart, we are one. Take care, I love you.

Ken.

~OWARI~

A/N: If you're going to ask me if I'm crazy, yeah I am. And I guess the fic resembles that. Oh well. I hope you enjoyed somehow. But don't take this too seriously, it's just a fic, and Weiß's plot wasn't really this bad. Hehe… so hurray for that! ^_~

To a friend: If in some miraculous way, you get to read this, I'd just like to say I'm sorry. I know I may have hurt you by not sharing with you some things you expected me to. Your silence tells me so. And it hurts me to hurt you like that. But you have to understand, that some things are not easy to tell, 'coz they're not just mere stories that happen everyday. Some things take a lot of courage to admit, and you yourself know very well how cowardly I am. And honestly, your disappointment/anger or whatever it is, is the least I need right now. But I can't blame you anyway. If that's the way you want things to be, then I'll just have to smile at that.