Disclaimer: Don't Own (not bothered to write any more useless waffle then
that!)
A/N: Ok, you win. You people will just not let me write one-chapter pieces anymore! Well thank you to all who review the first chapter: MissyJane, csi- freak03, adpi24, A Bloom, krisnina77, Sue Bedford, Prillygirl and PeTiTeCaT. You're all fabulous. And special thanks to my beta Brianna and anyone Snickers out there. Well this next chapter is taken from Nick's point of view and was inspired by the Feeder song 'Oxygen'. Once again R&R and Enjoy!!! - Bex
You watch her as she sleeps. The dread and fear have melted away from her face, to be replaced by peacefulness. You wish she could feel like that more of the time. She works herself too hard; you've told her this. She gets too emotionally involved; you believed you mentioned that as well. She's so stubborn sometimes; she probably knows this. And she doesn't listen to you. Yet you wouldn't change her for the world.
You inhale deeply; breathing in her fragrance and allow the smell to linger, as if giving your mind time to record it. As far as you're concerned, everything about her is perfect, sacred. And guilt fills you as you side with the part of that hopes the dream won't go away soon; that way she'll still need you. How pathetic it makes you feel to know that this is the only way she's ever going to need you. How this is the closest you'll ever get. How you're too much of a coward to tell you how you really feel.
Rejection - that's all that holds you back and you've made no attempts to stop it. You know Grissom turned her down and yet she bounced back. But if she turned you down the wound would linger, maybe never healing completely. You hold her tighter, as if you feel her beginning to already slip away; like you know she will when she wakes.
Then the other part of you reminds you why you're here: to look after her, protect her and keep her happy. This must be the thing you've found strangest of all; you're so in love with her that all you care about is her happiness - with or without you. You recall when you first found out she was dating Hank. God, you thought that she'd ripped out your heart right then, but seeing that smile he gave her granted you strength. You even encouraged her to see him. And then the rage when you found out he used her to cheat. Nothing else in the whole world would have given you as much satisfaction as breaking his worthless nose. Instead you held her whilst she cried.
You have no idea what you're going to do. She's so closed to you, yet still remains out of reach; like an apple on the tree in the Garden of Eden. Are you willing to risk telling her and losing her? If only she would realise how much you love her then she might return it. But there's always someone else in the way. She's always chasing another man, but you. You're right in front of her and she's too blind to see it.
She's the source of your torment and your cure. So what are you going to do now? Be here for her and pray that one day she'll realise? Watch her give her heart to other man who'll break it and you'll pick up the pieces? Smile and joke with her, letting your heart swore when she smiles back? Or tell her everything?
The coward will never grow a backbone.
Finally - in the midst of you trouble thoughts - sleep proclaims you and you surrender to her soothing touch. Praying that the world may make more sense when you wake.
*~*~*~*
She's still asleep when you wake. You check the clock; only an hour left before you work another Graveyard shift. Careful not to stir her, you slid off the bed and go into the kitchen with the intent to prepare a meal for you both. You decided on an omelette; simple and, depending what's in them, vegetarian friendly. You mix some onions, mushrooms, peppers and cheeses in with the eggs and pour them into the hot pan. They hiss as they touch the scolding metal and you leisurely cook them as you allow you mind to wonder.
A loud cry from the bedroom quickly catches your attention. In a swift movement, you turn off the hob and are sprinting toward the noise. She's twisting restlessly in her sleep, tears pouring down her cheeks. You grab her shoulder in an attempt to calm her and her eyes shoot open. Her breaths are heavy as she bolts violently upright. Both panic and confusion cloud her eyes as she stares at you, before she collapses - sobbing - into your embrace.
"Shhhh," You sooth, "It's ok. Everything's going to be ok." You hold her firmly, wishing you could free her from the plaguing dreams; even if it means she won't need you. Wishing you could take her away from all this.
The last thought echoes around your mind, until a new thought finally answers. You hear the sobbing decreasing and you gently pull back so you can see her face. She roughly wipes a hand across her face, almost embarrassed for you to see the renegade tears. She stops when your fingers lightly trace her cheekbones, as you assist in brushing them away. Your brown eyes meet her chocolate orbs filled with unshed tears. You allow your hand to loiter against the soft skin of her cheeks, as you decided to share you're idea. "You've got some leave time left, haven't you?"
She blinks as the question takes her by surprise. "Yes. Why?" She questions unsurely.
It's now or never. This is the last exit, before your in too deep to back down. You clear your throat and somehow a wisp of courage comes to you aid. "How would you like to go away with me for a while?"
TBC....
A/N: What do you think? I may take longer updating, because I have to finish writing the next (and probably last) chapter in between coursework and homework. But reviews may inspire me * nudge, nudge, wink, wink * Lol :o)
A/N: Ok, you win. You people will just not let me write one-chapter pieces anymore! Well thank you to all who review the first chapter: MissyJane, csi- freak03, adpi24, A Bloom, krisnina77, Sue Bedford, Prillygirl and PeTiTeCaT. You're all fabulous. And special thanks to my beta Brianna and anyone Snickers out there. Well this next chapter is taken from Nick's point of view and was inspired by the Feeder song 'Oxygen'. Once again R&R and Enjoy!!! - Bex
You watch her as she sleeps. The dread and fear have melted away from her face, to be replaced by peacefulness. You wish she could feel like that more of the time. She works herself too hard; you've told her this. She gets too emotionally involved; you believed you mentioned that as well. She's so stubborn sometimes; she probably knows this. And she doesn't listen to you. Yet you wouldn't change her for the world.
You inhale deeply; breathing in her fragrance and allow the smell to linger, as if giving your mind time to record it. As far as you're concerned, everything about her is perfect, sacred. And guilt fills you as you side with the part of that hopes the dream won't go away soon; that way she'll still need you. How pathetic it makes you feel to know that this is the only way she's ever going to need you. How this is the closest you'll ever get. How you're too much of a coward to tell you how you really feel.
Rejection - that's all that holds you back and you've made no attempts to stop it. You know Grissom turned her down and yet she bounced back. But if she turned you down the wound would linger, maybe never healing completely. You hold her tighter, as if you feel her beginning to already slip away; like you know she will when she wakes.
Then the other part of you reminds you why you're here: to look after her, protect her and keep her happy. This must be the thing you've found strangest of all; you're so in love with her that all you care about is her happiness - with or without you. You recall when you first found out she was dating Hank. God, you thought that she'd ripped out your heart right then, but seeing that smile he gave her granted you strength. You even encouraged her to see him. And then the rage when you found out he used her to cheat. Nothing else in the whole world would have given you as much satisfaction as breaking his worthless nose. Instead you held her whilst she cried.
You have no idea what you're going to do. She's so closed to you, yet still remains out of reach; like an apple on the tree in the Garden of Eden. Are you willing to risk telling her and losing her? If only she would realise how much you love her then she might return it. But there's always someone else in the way. She's always chasing another man, but you. You're right in front of her and she's too blind to see it.
She's the source of your torment and your cure. So what are you going to do now? Be here for her and pray that one day she'll realise? Watch her give her heart to other man who'll break it and you'll pick up the pieces? Smile and joke with her, letting your heart swore when she smiles back? Or tell her everything?
The coward will never grow a backbone.
Finally - in the midst of you trouble thoughts - sleep proclaims you and you surrender to her soothing touch. Praying that the world may make more sense when you wake.
*~*~*~*
She's still asleep when you wake. You check the clock; only an hour left before you work another Graveyard shift. Careful not to stir her, you slid off the bed and go into the kitchen with the intent to prepare a meal for you both. You decided on an omelette; simple and, depending what's in them, vegetarian friendly. You mix some onions, mushrooms, peppers and cheeses in with the eggs and pour them into the hot pan. They hiss as they touch the scolding metal and you leisurely cook them as you allow you mind to wonder.
A loud cry from the bedroom quickly catches your attention. In a swift movement, you turn off the hob and are sprinting toward the noise. She's twisting restlessly in her sleep, tears pouring down her cheeks. You grab her shoulder in an attempt to calm her and her eyes shoot open. Her breaths are heavy as she bolts violently upright. Both panic and confusion cloud her eyes as she stares at you, before she collapses - sobbing - into your embrace.
"Shhhh," You sooth, "It's ok. Everything's going to be ok." You hold her firmly, wishing you could free her from the plaguing dreams; even if it means she won't need you. Wishing you could take her away from all this.
The last thought echoes around your mind, until a new thought finally answers. You hear the sobbing decreasing and you gently pull back so you can see her face. She roughly wipes a hand across her face, almost embarrassed for you to see the renegade tears. She stops when your fingers lightly trace her cheekbones, as you assist in brushing them away. Your brown eyes meet her chocolate orbs filled with unshed tears. You allow your hand to loiter against the soft skin of her cheeks, as you decided to share you're idea. "You've got some leave time left, haven't you?"
She blinks as the question takes her by surprise. "Yes. Why?" She questions unsurely.
It's now or never. This is the last exit, before your in too deep to back down. You clear your throat and somehow a wisp of courage comes to you aid. "How would you like to go away with me for a while?"
TBC....
A/N: What do you think? I may take longer updating, because I have to finish writing the next (and probably last) chapter in between coursework and homework. But reviews may inspire me * nudge, nudge, wink, wink * Lol :o)