Mr. Wonderful

Part 5

by Jade

Disclaimer: This does get tiresome. All I can say is, "Not mine. I have no money, don't bother me with a lawsuit."

Author's note: Don't you just love romance? I'm quite the sucker for lovey-dovey stuff so it's no surprise some of the dialogue to follow has been inspired by many romantic films and critically-acclaimed TV dramas that will go down in history as classics. Just to name a few such as Sleepless in Seattle, My Best Friend's Wedding, Chicago Hope, Ally McBeal, While You Were Sleeping and Mr. Wonderful.

I guess I'd better give thanks for people like David E. Kelley, Anthony Minghella, Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks and Nora Ephron, for making fantasies come alive on screen with their brilliance. Okay, let's get on with it.

Pacey lightly tapped on the door. "Joey?"

Joey was sitting on the edge of the bed, with her back to the door. The minute she heard Pacey's voice, she wiped the tears off her face with the back of her hand in a quick motion.

"Joey?" He saw her, shoulders all tensed as she sat on the bed, not facing him. He walked over to her and bent down, with a knee on the floor so that he could look her in the eye. She didn't look at him. "Hey," he softly said as he gently lifted her chin with his finger to raise her gaze.

"You've been crying?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Joey had hoped he wouldn't notice the redness of her eyes. "Like I said, I'm just tired."

"What is it?" Pacey persisted.

How could she tell him that he was the problem? "You're paranoid." She brushed off his question with a wave of her hand and stood up to walk to the balcony. The view was magnificent but she wasn't exactly in the mood to appreciate it.

Pacey straightened from his position. "I'm not leaving till you tell me what's wrong."

Joey had made up her mind not to bring up the matter until after Dawson's wedding. She didn't wish to spoil anyone's mood by creating a scene but he was making it very difficult for her at the moment. "Leave it at that, Pacey."

He kept silent but remained where he was.

Joey closed her eyes in frustration. He could be just as stubborn as her when he wanted to and he wasn't going to leave anytime soon. Reaching into her pocket, she walked back over to him and slapped a piece of paper against his chest. "Your agent wants you to call him back about the apartment," she said, sounding calmer that she actually felt.

This was the one thing he least expected. Damn it, he thought. "I wanted to tell you-"

She cut him off. "Save it, Pace. I really don't want to hear it."

She started to move past him but he grabbed her arm to stop her. "Joey, look at me."

She continued to avoid his eyes.

"Joey, please." His plea got to her. She turned to look at him and she knew that he hadn't intended to hurt her but it was a little too late for damage control now.

Her eyes began to glisten with unshed tears. Don't cry now, she told herself. With one last shred of dignity, she pulled her arm out of his grasp and bit back angrily, "Pacey, there is nothing to say! You're moving in with Rachel and one day, you're going to marry her. You're going to have the wife and kids you've always wanted and I'll just be in the way if I stay."

Jen had been on her way to see Ally when she thought she'd ask Joey along. She was about to knock when she heard voices arguing. Hearing footsteps, she turned and saw Dawson, a couple of feet away from her, looking just as puzzled.

"I think it's best I leave."

"Joey! No one's going anywhere." He ran his fingers through his hair, in frustration. "I want you to stay."

"Why are you still lying to me?" she asked accusingly.

He stared at her in amazement. "How could you think that I'll ever make you leave?"

Joey calmed down but not enough to erase the bitterness in her voice. "Because you'll never be able to afford your new place unless you sell this apartment. Your apartment."

"No, Joey. It's our apartment."

She shook her head in defiance. "No, it's not. It belongs to you, I just pay rent."

Pacey caught her by the shoulders. He was unwilling to talk to a moving target. "What are you talking about? Forget about rent!" His voice had risen a notch. "You're my best friend, you're a part of me, my life."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "No." She suddenly felt so drained of energy. "Let's be realistic. We've moved on," she stated quietly as she looked at him. "We want different things now. It was never going to work out forever."

One tear had made it past her cheek. Pacey was staring back at her as the truth of what she was saying sank in.

"We can't go back." Deep inside, she knew she was past being just angry or hurt. She was crying openly now. "It's no longer your job to watch out for me." She reached out to touch his cheek with her fingers and looked at him, as if to etch his every feature into her memory.

She removed her hand but he caught it in mid-air. "This can't be it," he insisted, in a hoarse voice he hardly recognized as his own.

Her answer was clearly reflected in her brown eyes as he gazed into them, silently urging her to reconsider. She looked down at their joined hands and then she let go, leaving him standing in the room. If she had been surprised to see Jen and Dawson when she opened the door, she didn't show it as she walked past them.

"Mind if I join you?"

Joey continued to look out to the sea. "Dawson, you should be at home, getting ready."

He settled on the sand beside her. "Not after what just happened." He looked toward the sun and breathed in the air. "It's funny how life works out. You think you're doing the right thing, only to discover later that you were wrong all along."

She said nothing.

"It's amazing, you know, the clarity that comes with jealousy." He put his hand over hers. "He was just Pacey, this average guy and your friend until Rachel turned up. Then he became the man of your dreams. Mr. Wonderful."

She finally turned to look at him. "That isn't fair, Dawson. This isn't about winning."

"No, it's much more. It's about loving someone." The look she gave him spoke a thousand words and confirmed what he had believed all this time. "The only time I've ever seen you cry like that was when your Mom died." 

They were both silent as they listened to the incoming waves. "I knew you were in love with Pacey even before Rachel came into the picture. I figured you needed time but I never guessed you would give up so easily."

"It doesn't matter anymore. He's got her now and he loves her." Joey fought to keep new tears from flowing. "You can't just forget that."

"I haven't forgotten anything," he said, giving her hand a squeeze. "He loves her but he's never been in love with anyone as much as he has been with you." 

Joey closed her eyes tightly, her anguish showed clearly on her face. 

"Trust me on this one, Jo. Just tell him you love him." He paused. "Tell him you've loved him for years but you were afraid of love, afraid of needing..."

"Needing what?" she whispered.

"Of needing to belong to somebody." He brushed the hair off her cheek and put it behind her ear so that he had a clear view of her face. "I'm sorry, Jo, but that's how it works. Everyone needs to belong to somebody. Tell him that this is the cruellest moment to do this to him but it has to be done."

Joey appeared to be thinking over what Dawson had just said, but within moments, it was clear that she wasn't going to change her mind. "I can't do this to him. She's much better for him than I'll ever be."

"It's no fun being miserable on your own, you know." 

Jen finally located Pacey at the park nearby. She guessed that this was the only place he might have gone, headed this direction. From a distance, she had watched him and it broke her heart to see him so lost and so desperately in love.

"Am I so wrong to want to go on with my life?" He was on a bench, bent over with his elbows on his knees and his head, resting on the support of his hands.

She sat down beside him.

He moved his head back, to look up at the bright blue sky. "Rachel loves me so much but I don't love her enough. Why does it have to be so difficult?"

"Pacey, have you ever told Joey the truth?"

He didn't pretend he didn't understand. He was too tired to play games anymore.

"Joey and I were a wrong fit from the start. And we had other people then...," he drifted off. "I saw no point."

Jen was touched by how much Pacey must have gone through all those years, trying to forget Joey and almost succeeding. Then one day, she walked right back into his life and things became one big mess again.

"I think the only solution now is to tell her you love her."

"Rachel?"

"No. Joey."

Pacey was taken aback by her suggestion. "I can't do that."

"Why not? Nothing's changed. I've seen the way you look at her."

"You're wrong. Everything's changed. It can't go on. I can't go on like this. I made a promise to Rachel and I intend to keep it."

He turned to look at Jen, who wasn't the least bit convinced by his conviction.

"I'm doing the right thing," he justified.

"Then why do you have to keep reassuring yourself that you are?" she questioned, her gaze never leaving him as she watched his face display a series of emotions.

He had no answer for her. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he went back to his despondent position, bent over with his head in his hands.

Jen sighed. She moved closer and put her arm around him, offering what little comfort she could, under the circumstances.

The flowers were beautiful; the music enchanting. It was exactly how Joey imagined her own wedding would be. Everyone turned in unison to watch the bride walk down the aisle as "The Wedding March" began to play. She was beautiful, with her hair all swept up and her gown shimmering in the dim light. Joey offered a smile as Ally looked her way briefly. As father and daughter neared the front, the bridegroom began to look more nervous. Joey's attention was, however, not on Dawson, but the man beside him.

Pacey watched his best friend take the hand of his wife-to-be and felt his heart tighten as they smiled radiantly at each other, with all the love in the world shining in their eyes. It was a reflexive action as he turned slightly and met Joey's gaze. A feeling of sadness passed between them.

Pacey was the first one to look away. Trying to regain his composure, he focused his attention on what the priest was saying.

"Do you Alison Elizabeth Dorsey, take this man Dawson Leery, to be your lawfully wedded husband..."

He caught a sudden movement from the corner of his eye and saw Rachel, silently making her way to an empty seat. She took in his surprise with a wide smile of her own.

Joey saw her too. Jen, who was seated beside her, squeezed her friend's hand reassuringly, hoping to ease the pain. Joey accepted her gesture with a look, that she hoped convey she was fine.

"You may kiss the bride." A loud cheer and a round of applause rang out in the garden, as the couple was declared husband and wife. Everyone stood up to pelt the newly-weds with rice and confetti. Amidst the chaos, Rachel made her way to Pacey and kissed him on the mouth. "Surprise!" she shouted above the noise to be heard. "My assignment ended earlier than expected." He wrapped her in an embrace but couldn't help looking toward where Joey had been sitting.

She was no longer there.

"I'm on vacation, Bessie. No babysitting jobs."

Alexander was indignant. "I don't need a babysitter!" he insisted and thrusted his chin out at them, as he tried to make a point.

Joey and her sister looked at each other and laughed. Bessie Potter-Williams grabbed her keys and kissed her son good-bye. "Try not to drive Aunt Jo mad, okay?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die," he replied a little too innocently and flashed a cheeky grin.

"Good luck, Jo," Bessie wished her sister.

They watched her car pull out of the driveway and then settled themselves comfortably on the sofa and switched on the television. "Ice cream?" Joey asked and Alexander nodded enthusiastically.

They tucked into tubs of Double Chocolate Chip Ice Cream. When there was nothing else interesting left to watch on TV, Joey suggested they get out of the house for a breath of fresh air. "How about it?"

"Cool," he agreed. "Just let me go upstairs and grab a jacket."

"And I'll leave your Mom a note."

They had been walking along the creek for about half-an-hour. Joey sat herself on a bench and Alexander followed suit. The sun was about to set and red and orange streaks of light were scattered all over the Massachusetts sky.

"You know, when I was younger, I couldn't wait to get out of here."

Her nephew surprised her when he answered as a matter-of-factly. "I know. Mom told me. She's always talking about you, you know."

"Nothing bad, I hope," Joey joked.

He began to fiddle with his watch. "Can I be honest with you, Aunt Jo?"

"Of course."

"I think I understand why you wanted to leave Capeside so much." He looked down at his sneakers and started to swing his legs back and forth. "I want to make good. I want Mom to be as proud of me as she is of you."

Joey ruffled his hair and put her arm around his shoulder, resting her cheek lightly on his head. "I promise you she will be," she said softly.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

They remained in this position until the sun disappeared beyond the horizon and the streetlights came on.

"Chin up, Aunt Jo."

She lifted her head so that she could look at Alexander. "Why do you say that?"

"You get into a mood when you're sad."

She smiled weakly. "Perceptive, aren't you?"

"I also know what's bothering you. Sometimes I hear you and Mom talking," he added. Reaching into his jacket, he produced a slightly tattered photograph and handed it to her. "I found this when Mom made me clean up my room."

Joey was looking at a picture of her and Pacey, on their bottoms, in fits of laughter.

"Do you remember that day?" Alexander asked.

"Come on scaredy cat!" he shouted at her from the center of the pond.. "I should have realised years ago why you always declined to go ice-skating with us."

"I don't want to do this," she protested. She had skates on but that was as far as she was going, in terms of proving Pacey she wasn't a wuss.

"Josephine, don't make me go there and carry you over!" He was already about to skate to her.

In a panic, she tried to justify her fear. "Look, I don't want to fall. It hurts!" With that, she tried to make a hasty retreat but Pacey got to her in seconds and grabbed her around the waist.

"Arrrghhhh," she screamed. "Alex! Get him off me!"

Alexander was too busy laughing.

"Pacey, let go!" He paid no heed to her demand so she tried pleading instead. "I really would hate to hurt my butt or break a leg."

He rolled his eyes. "Gee, smarty-pants. What else did they teach you at journalism school?"

She backed her elbow into his stomach. "Hey!" He let go of her and she hit the ice with a thud. "That was uncalled for," he said, the wind slightly knocked out of him.

She was rubbing the spot on her behind, where she fell. "Ouch, ouch, ouch, OUCH!" she repeated and glared at him.

By this time, they were already at the center. "If you want to get off the ice, you're either going to have to skate-," Pacey challenged, "-or crawl. Your choice."

Joey evaluated the situation. I don't want to be seen on all fours in public on Christmas Eve, she thought.

She made a face at him.

Pacey made a face back and then reached out a hand to help her stand up. "Easy," he coaxed as her feet nearly slid under her. She was holding on to him for dear life.

"This had better be worth it," she muttered under her breath.

"Take my hand," Pacey instructed.

Joey skated gingerly at first, and as she got more confident, she held on less tightly to his hand. All of a sudden, Pacey let go and she missed a step. She grabbed onto his arm in a hurry and they both fell.

"Ouch," Pacey uttered.

He looked at her; she looked at him. Then they burst out into laughter.

Her face was flushed from the cold and the excitement. "Piece of cake," she agreed.

"I took this with that camera you and Pacey gave me for Christmas a few years ago."

She lightly ran her fingers over Pacey's face in the photo.

"I'm twelve years old. Old enough to start talking sense but still young enough not to be taken seriously." He glanced at his aunt. "Will you listen to me for awhile?"

She nodded distractedly.

"If I could choose anyone in this world who would make you happy, I would choose Pacey."

He watched his aunt's facial expression change to an even sadder one.

"He doesn't love her as much. Doesn't that count for something?" he questioned. She remained silent, absorbed in her thoughts. Alexander laid his head back against his aunt's shoulder and sighed.

To be continued...

Please send all comments and suggestions to pacey@hockeymail.com