The old red Chevy truck pulled alongside the road, its passengers jarring to the bumps in the gravel shoulder. Tails and Rouge where sitting in the rusty truck bed, holding on for dear life, while Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles were strapped securely in the cab. For some reason, Knuckles was driving.
"What do you think you're doing, Knucklehead?" Sonic asked irritably, rubbing his shoulder, which had just slammed against the passenger side door. "Are you trying to get us killed?"
The echidna scratched his head, then calmly replied, "For your information, I needed directions. Is it too much to ask for you to look at a map every once in a while?"
Grumbling, Sonic pulled out a tattered old map, unfolded it, and searched for their position. After several minutes, he finally said, "It should be the next right, up ahead." Sonic folded the map and put it in the glove box, which refused to shut. Sonic tried to force it, and he not only succeeded in closing the compartment door, he also slammed his fingers in it. "OUCH! Geez, Knucklehead, where did you get this junker?"
"It was passed down through generations of echidnas," Knuckles replied, rather mystically.
*Flashback*
Tikal pulls into the Echidna city, driving a newer-looking version of the same truck.
"Where did you get that?" the echidna chief asks.
"I bought it from a dealer," she replies. Seeing the look on her father's face, she quickly adds, "Don't worry, father, I got a really good deal on the loan!"
*End Flashback*
"And that's why I'm still paying on it," finished Knuckles, as if he were actually telling them the story.
Meanwhile, the truck had just gotten out of the stream it was driving in, and finally drove back onto the road. Knuckles stopped the truck right in front of a pair of gates, behind which stood a huge college campus. A sign on the gates read:
-U.S.U.C.K.-
-University of Standard Universal Collegiate Knowledge-
As the Sonic Gang stared in amazement, the gates to the university opened wide. Knuckles drove through, the passenger's side view mirror breaking off as it hit the gate. As soon as he double-parked the truck, everyone jumped out onto the pavement.
"OK, next time, we run," Sonic exclaimed, casting an angry look at Knuckles.
Tails and Rouge, who did not have the luxury of seatbelts or windows, were covered in mud and dust, their fur ruffled badly.
"Eww, I'm all dirty!" moaned Rouge, trying to straighten her fur. "Hey Knuckles, why did Sonic and Amy get to sit up there with you? Don't you love me?"
"I think so," Knuckles said looking confused. "Actually, I don't even know why I let them sit up front. Maybe it was destiny or something."
"Well, I'm going to have to find a place to shower here," she said, looking POed.
However, before they could start their search, a young man with a buzz cut and an addictive smile jogged up to them. "Hi," he said, "I'm Guy Davis! You must be here for the orientation. It's going to be fun! We have snacks! Come on!"
"Excuse me," Rouge said politely, "but I need to clean up first. Can you show me where the showers are?"
Guy frowned and said, "I'm sorry, but the showers here are meant only for the students living in the dorms."
At this, Rouge grabbed the peppy boy's collar and brought his face within an inch of her own. "Listen," she said, rather darkly, "I'm covered in mud and I am very angry right now. I know jujitsu, and if you don't show me the way to a shower, I will put you through so much pain that you will be screaming for YOUR MOMMY!!"
Shaking, Guy replied, "R-right this way, ma'am." Quickly, he led her to the showers.
Realizing that he was also covered in mud, Tails said nothing. Instead, seeing a fountain in the distance, he ran towards that and jumped in. Once he was clean enough, he jumped out and did a spin dash on the sidewalk, drying himself off.
"Weird," Sonic said.
The gang headed for the dorms to find Rouge, hoping that she was almost done. They were walking down a hall, when Knuckles started to feel a tingling in his bladder. "Uh, I need to use the little boy's room," said Knuckles, looking slightly embarrassed.
"I think I saw a sign back there," said Amy, pointing at a sign a few halls back.
"Thanks," said Knuckles, and he quickly ran off in that direction. He found the Men's Room, and, entering, proceeded to use a toilet. He could hear water running somewhere, but he couldn't tell what it was. Only when he was washing his hands did he see the two boys crouching next to the wall.
"Whoa, look at that rack!" exclaimed one boy, who was obviously looking through a hole in the wall.
"Yeah, it's a nice rack!" said the second boy, who was looking through another hole.
Alarmed, Knuckles pulled the second boy away from the wall and peeked through the hole. Indeed, he saw a well-made wooden rack, which held a number of folded towels.
"Oh my goodness," the first boy exclaimed, "those are the biggest set of knockers I've ever seen!"
Knuckles pulled the first boy back and looked through the hole, then immediately stood up and turned around. "That's my girlfriend in there," he said.
"Yeah, what are you gonna do about it, punk?" the first boy asked menacingly.
Knuckles growled, showing his teeth, and then banged his knuckles together like he always does. A look of panic spread across the boys' faces, and they ran from the bathroom, screaming like girls.
As Knuckles was leaving the bathroom, Rouge was walking out of the shower. "What was that screaming about?" she asked, concerned.
"Oh, nothing," Knuckles lied. "I guess somebody gave Guy a wedgie or something." They laughed at that, and then walked down the hall to find the others.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Soon afterwards, the gang was settled into a large gathering of enrolled students out on the quad. The seats were uncomfortable and too close together, and the afternoon air was hot and muggy. The students had been murmuring to each other, but the murmuring had suddenly died down. The reason for this was the middle-aged woman who was standing behind a wooden podium.
"Good afternoon," the woman said, "and welcome to the University of Standard Universal Collegiate Knowledge. I am the school's dean, Dr. Leslie Tuttle. We here at U.S.U.C.K. are thrilled to see all of your bright young faces here this day." At this, she nodded to a group of professors sitting to her right, the students' left. She continued, "The quest for knowledge is a great adventure…"
'I love adventure!' thought Sonic.
"But it is also a lot of hard and arduous work," Dr. Tuttle continued.
'Crap!' thought Sonic.
"The rewards for your hard work are worth it, though," continued Dr. Tuttle. "By the time you graduate, you will have matured into educated men and women, capable of taking on the world. The gift of knowledge can open many doors for you, and the memories you share here will always be a part of your lives. So in closing, I say, work hard, and enjoy your U.S.U.C.K. experience!"
As she left the stage, the students erupted into applause. Immediately, Guy walked up to the podium and adjusted the microphone. "Well," he said, his voice bright and peppy, "now that that's over with, we can get ready for the tour!" And then, Rouge thought she heard him mutter, barely audible and in a much darker voice, "Rouge, I will kill you slowly and painfully." "Okay then!" he said, his voice once again peppy. "Everyone, follow your assigned leaders!" At this, a group of student volunteers stood up, and each walked to the end of a row of seats.
As they stood up, Rouge whispered to Knuckles, "That Guy creeps me out."
Knuckles shook his head and whispered back, "That's ridiculous. He's just got a lot of spirit, that's all."
At this, Rouge thought, 'He's possessed by some kind of spirit, that's for sure.'
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
After the tour, Sonic's group entered the hall of a great building, which was full of lecture halls. The door to one of the lecture halls was ajar.
"Now, those of you who have registered to take foreign language placement tests, please proceed into this room and find a seat," the tour guide instructed. At this, a few students entered the room, Tails, Rouge and Amy included. Once they left the hall and the door was shut tight, the guide instructed them to enter another room down the hall.
Sonic and Knuckles followed the group into the room the guide pointed them to, and were shocked by what they saw. Rows of tables were stacked high with food, from pizza to coney dogs to cookies, pies, and cakes. A skateboard arena was set up near the front of the room, and live entertainment was provided on a stage in front of the blackboard.
After eating to their hearts' content, the students heard the door open. The tour guide walked in and, rather threateningly, told them, "Tell no one of this. We were not supposed to do this for you, but we did it anyway. If you mention anything…" she ran her throat across her neck. Then she clapped her hands, and everything in the room vanished.
"This place keeps getting weirder and weirder," Sonic whispered to Knuckles.
As they exited into the hall, those who had been taking the test were leaving their room. Unexpectedly, Tails, Rouge and Amy were positively beaming.
"So, do you think you did well?" Sonic asked.
"Sí, perfecto," they replied unanimously. Then, realizing his mistake, Tails adjusted his Palm Pilot. They spoke again, this time saying, "Yes, perfect!"
"But how?" Sonic asked. "I never knew that you took Spanish."
"We haven't," Tails replied. "I just adjusted the language setting on the options menu!"
At this, Sonic and Knuckles both slapped their foreheads.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The next thing that the incoming students did was to schedule their classes for their autumn quarter. They did this in small groups, in small rooms in a small building. After their counselors explained the procedure for scheduling, the students puzzled through master schedules, searching for the classes they felt they needed. Afterwards, they were told that they were free to explore the campus, or to leave.
"What did you schedule?" Sonic asked Amy, as they were walking towards Knuckles' truck.
"I have a hospitality class, a chemistry class, orchestra, and an orientation class," she answered. "How about you?"
"I have chemistry, algebra, psychology, and an orientation class," he replied.
"Ooh," she exclaimed, "we have two classes together! Maybe I could sit by you!"
"Maybe," Sonic said, shaking his head.
Elsewhere, Knuckles and Rouge were walking together.
"Knuckles," Rouge asked, "what classes did you schedule?"
"I've got chemistry, psychology, geology, and some stupid orientation class," he replied. "And you?"
"I'm in chemistry, geology, pre-calculus, and an orientation class," she said.
Eventually, they met up with Sonic and Amy, and a couple of minutes later, Tails caught up to them.
"Hey, Tails," Sonic asked, "what classes did you schedule?"
"Well," replied the fox, "I'm taking chemistry, advanced physics, psychology, and orientation. What are you all taking?"
They quickly related their respective schedules, and after a few minutes, they realized that they were all taking chemistry and orientation together.
"You know," Sonic said, stopping momentarily, "I think this is going to be the greatest adventure of our lives!"
Everyone agreed, and they all climbed into the truck, Sonic and Tails in the back this time.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
Hope you liked it. Oh, and the disclaimer is in the first chapter, I won't be reprinting it.
Next Chapter: Party!