I'm not sure what to think. I can't believe what happened.."Kenshin...How
could you do that? How could you let her do that?" He looks scared, ashamed
and worried as he paces the floor in front of me. Two days ago Sano told me
what had happened. Just today Kenshin confirmed what had happened, knowing
I hadn't believed Sano.
Eyes downcast, Kenshin stops, and sits beside me. "I am truely sorry for what has happened, Miss Kaoru, that I am."
He had told everything that had happened, and still I feel anger at him. Sighing, I look away from him, not in the mood to be near anyone. I stand up slowely, feeling dizzy, and he is on his feet next to me to keep me steady. "I cannot repair what has been done, and I feel I cannot make it up to you, but if there is anything you feel I can do Miss Kaoru, I will do it, that I will.."
"You were right...It doesn't work..We can't be together...I love you, but Kenshin...It hurts so much..I can't take the pain..I'm sorry.." I look at him, and he at me, then I turn and walk to my room, leaving him silent, hating myself, but unable to turn around, to tell him I didn't mean it, because right now I feel I do, but as soon as I enter my room I feel tear streaking my cheeks, cool and caressing as they flow with eerie silence, because my grief offers no sobs. And the darkness of my room, it holds me too. The comfort in being the only one to have the ability to reduce, or demolish the darkness I have brough upon myself is also a comfort as I sit in my room, wet cheeked, angery and wishing I had said nothing. But already I sense it is too late to take away my hasty words, because I can hear Sano shouting at Kenshin about no more Saki.
Saki...I had smelt it upon his breath when I awoke from the poisoning that had left me seperated from them all. Kenshin had said he though I had died. Prehaps this is his way of dealing with large bouts of greif. I look out my window, to see Kenshin standing in the dark, wind tugging so gentally, his arms spread and face lifted to the heavens. I can see the look of pain upon his face, etched as though in stone. I see the clouds above make a sign they are ready to give birth to the tears of god they had held in all day. Before the rain starts, I see a single gleam upon Kenshins cheek, that spreads slowely from his eye to his chin, before dropping off into the darkness, the streak catching moonlight. The first drop of rain falls in the dirt behind him, making an indentation as another is given to the needy soil beside his feet. The wind pulls with greater urgency now, causing his kimono and hair to dance behind him, as the drops become more common, No longer can I tell if he is crying.
Standing the same as he was before, flaming hair glinting as his sinlge tear had in the moonlight, I watch him, my heart giving slight leaps suddenly, whispering to me in their own way to go to him, embrace him. So I leave my room, and the Dojo, to walk just behind him. I pause behind him for a moment, and I can tell he hasn't moved. There is a feeling oif peace and greif about him that I feel inclined to break, and so I step foreward again, and touch his shoulder softly. He turns slowely, and looks at me, arms falling to his sides, like a beautiful crane folding its wings. "Miss Kaoru.."
I know he wants to say more, but what I will never know. I feel the sorrow that had wrapped around him like a blanket pull also around me, and I feel my heart stir, as I silently forgive him, hugging him fiercly as if he will be gone forever. The rain now a downpour, we stand together, both of us drenched, him holding me as if afraid to let me go. And I think he probably is.
I feel the hair upon my neck and arms raise, an uncomfortable static feeling. Kenshin looks toward the heavens, and a flash of light interupts us, along with the sound of an explosive. Trembling, I look at the smoking crater of earth where a second before we had stood. I feel funny, and look down, to find we are upon the roof of the dojo, having been saved by Kenshins speed. I smile at him weakly, feeling faint, and the look upon my face must say so, because before I fall to my knees, I am in his arms, and we are again upon the ground. I close my eyes, and he carries me inside, setting me gentally upon my bed, then returning to the outside. But a moment later he returns inside, and stands next to my bed, gazing at me. He knows I'm awake, but says nothing, just watches. I feel a blanket slide over my wet clothes, and a soft touch to me cheek, as well as a warm drop of water just beside it. I feel my hair pulled gentally out from under me, and deposited with care upon my pillow. And then he is gone, and I fall asleep.
Eyes downcast, Kenshin stops, and sits beside me. "I am truely sorry for what has happened, Miss Kaoru, that I am."
He had told everything that had happened, and still I feel anger at him. Sighing, I look away from him, not in the mood to be near anyone. I stand up slowely, feeling dizzy, and he is on his feet next to me to keep me steady. "I cannot repair what has been done, and I feel I cannot make it up to you, but if there is anything you feel I can do Miss Kaoru, I will do it, that I will.."
"You were right...It doesn't work..We can't be together...I love you, but Kenshin...It hurts so much..I can't take the pain..I'm sorry.." I look at him, and he at me, then I turn and walk to my room, leaving him silent, hating myself, but unable to turn around, to tell him I didn't mean it, because right now I feel I do, but as soon as I enter my room I feel tear streaking my cheeks, cool and caressing as they flow with eerie silence, because my grief offers no sobs. And the darkness of my room, it holds me too. The comfort in being the only one to have the ability to reduce, or demolish the darkness I have brough upon myself is also a comfort as I sit in my room, wet cheeked, angery and wishing I had said nothing. But already I sense it is too late to take away my hasty words, because I can hear Sano shouting at Kenshin about no more Saki.
Saki...I had smelt it upon his breath when I awoke from the poisoning that had left me seperated from them all. Kenshin had said he though I had died. Prehaps this is his way of dealing with large bouts of greif. I look out my window, to see Kenshin standing in the dark, wind tugging so gentally, his arms spread and face lifted to the heavens. I can see the look of pain upon his face, etched as though in stone. I see the clouds above make a sign they are ready to give birth to the tears of god they had held in all day. Before the rain starts, I see a single gleam upon Kenshins cheek, that spreads slowely from his eye to his chin, before dropping off into the darkness, the streak catching moonlight. The first drop of rain falls in the dirt behind him, making an indentation as another is given to the needy soil beside his feet. The wind pulls with greater urgency now, causing his kimono and hair to dance behind him, as the drops become more common, No longer can I tell if he is crying.
Standing the same as he was before, flaming hair glinting as his sinlge tear had in the moonlight, I watch him, my heart giving slight leaps suddenly, whispering to me in their own way to go to him, embrace him. So I leave my room, and the Dojo, to walk just behind him. I pause behind him for a moment, and I can tell he hasn't moved. There is a feeling oif peace and greif about him that I feel inclined to break, and so I step foreward again, and touch his shoulder softly. He turns slowely, and looks at me, arms falling to his sides, like a beautiful crane folding its wings. "Miss Kaoru.."
I know he wants to say more, but what I will never know. I feel the sorrow that had wrapped around him like a blanket pull also around me, and I feel my heart stir, as I silently forgive him, hugging him fiercly as if he will be gone forever. The rain now a downpour, we stand together, both of us drenched, him holding me as if afraid to let me go. And I think he probably is.
I feel the hair upon my neck and arms raise, an uncomfortable static feeling. Kenshin looks toward the heavens, and a flash of light interupts us, along with the sound of an explosive. Trembling, I look at the smoking crater of earth where a second before we had stood. I feel funny, and look down, to find we are upon the roof of the dojo, having been saved by Kenshins speed. I smile at him weakly, feeling faint, and the look upon my face must say so, because before I fall to my knees, I am in his arms, and we are again upon the ground. I close my eyes, and he carries me inside, setting me gentally upon my bed, then returning to the outside. But a moment later he returns inside, and stands next to my bed, gazing at me. He knows I'm awake, but says nothing, just watches. I feel a blanket slide over my wet clothes, and a soft touch to me cheek, as well as a warm drop of water just beside it. I feel my hair pulled gentally out from under me, and deposited with care upon my pillow. And then he is gone, and I fall asleep.