VI

Never Be The Same Again

¡§A lonely heart that can¡¦t be tamed...¡¨ [vi]

The doorbell rang.

And another reminder of Andy¡¦s death punctured Will¡¦s heart like hot coal on a chilled winter¡¦s day.

He continued to stare at the empty chair across from him as the doorbell rang for the third time.

It couldn¡¦t have been Deanna; she knew the passcode.

Andy¡¦s relatives; late for the funeral? Yeah right. What relatives?! They hadn¡¦t even cared enough to fight for his adoption.

Will stood as if the mere movement would kill him, and moved to answer the door.

~

Kyle waited for a greeting...or maybe a slight nod?

A grunt would suffice...

But he instantly recognized the expression his son wore, and the hilarities died. It had been the same way when Betty passed. The grief weighed so heavily that even the simplest tasks of life couldn¡¦t be accomplished. That was why the damned emotion was so dangerous, and it dawned on Kyle then, that why Will, as a child, took the worst of Kyle¡¦s misery.

His father nodded, as if he understood. Of course he understood, this wasn¡¦t new to him, after all.

But he had never known Andy, why did he care? What made Kyle care so much for Will that brought him to his door? Who did he think he was?

¡§Deanna called. Told me about everything.¡¨

Damn. A man could really go crazy with the love he felt for that woman.

¡§Dad...¡¨

And Will collapsed, letting himself cry with his father for the first time since his mother¡¦s death.

~

¡§You¡¦re leaving?!¡¨

The call had come in. Her patients needed her, that damned starship (whatever it was called) and its crew needed her, but it was Will who did so the most, if only she could see it!

The timing was shit.

¡§Deanna...¡¨

She continued packing her things, mind racing with a hypothesized outlook of what her patient¡¦s family would tell her combined with her failure as a counselor, which was what killed her the most.

As a doctor, one would never want to hear the words ¡§died¡¨, because it implied failure in the person¡¦s role as a physician. One of Deanna¡¦s personal hated was ¡§committed suicide¡¨.

¡§There are things to take care of, William. And I¡¦ve already found a replacement for my job here.¡¨

As a cadet at the Academy, it had been her first case project, having to deal with a suicidal patient, on the verge of committing the crime of ending his own life. And it was a weakness, as well, for Deanna, because she had earned a failing grade she pushed hard for the next year to raise into something acceptable.

And as soon as it was all over, she swore it was something she would make sure never occurred.

But it did.

Anger and frustration and grief rolled into one, and Will lost his temper.

~

¡§You did your best!¡¨

Their argument had moved to front yard, where Deanna stood at the door of a transport cab.

She turned, a threatening ¡Valmost scared- look in her eyes. ¡§Don¡¦t say that. My best?¡¨ Her breaths were coming in puffs of smoke, typical of morning Franciscan temperature. ¡§How dare you say that to me? You don¡¦t know what I¡¦ve done. You don¡¦t even know who I am.¡¨[II]

And Will was hit with the truth. With all that was going on, him meeting her for the first time in her office, them choosing to be friends, their conversations together and her helping with him moving on without the son he so loved; had all been slightly one sided. While Will poured his heart out, Deanna merely stated little details, important, but never once did she see him the way he wanted her to. She was always an outsider, welcome, but never fully integrated into his life.

¡§Just go. Will? Just leave.¡¨

And he let go of the door, permitting it to whoosh shut.

[II] The stuff that Deanna says in this paragraph belongs to the movie, Charlotte Gray; (2001).