Chapter 1 – So many questions, but not a single answer…
Author's notes: GORMEN-NASAI!!!! Please forgive me for the lateness of this chapter! Firstly, an uncreative patch had hit me, hard… as the month of Capricorn was wont to wreak havoc on my imagination being one from that sign. Then came along the work, the studies… it may sound like excuses to you but believe me, I really tried… okay not to keep you waiting anymore… here's our troubled couple…
~ Waterlily Spirit ~
P/S: Words in italics would represent thoughts that particular person was running through his or her mind. Please excuse me if it does not sound as smooth as you like it to be… I'm still getting through the fundamentals of doing a third-person story… Argh…
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Why did she run away? And why in the early hours of the morn, where the sky was still as dark as squid ink with nary a ray of light, as the moon ensconced itself in the clouds? In a manner so verily like an illegal alien escaping from the immigration authorities, packing her bags so hastily that all she ever took with her was three changes of clothes and her Bank Book?
She didn't know the reasons herself… but she had to run… for she couldn't bear to let the others experience the shock that had first registered as the reflection impressed itself upon her mind.
How long had she left the Garden now? Never in a million years would she have guessed that such a fate would befall on her… she had dreamt of making it her home, which was of little surprise since the closest she ever had to kin were all there.
And yet… look at her now… all holed up in this place; a seedy rented apartment in the outskirts of Fisherman's Horizon. One where the traffic was sparse, human or otherwise, as it was quite close to the abandoned train station - the one where the townspeople had thought to be occupied by the waking dead.
None of the people there recognised her , and even if they did, they made no sign of it, leaving her to her privacy. This was a queer fact, for after the Second Sorceress War, huge pictures of the heroic party of six had been published on the front pages of every known newspaper that ever existed. It would not be an exaggeration to say that their names were known to anyone who weren't orbiting in space for the past two years or so.
Whatever the case, she was glad that they didn't bother her… nor did they show any kind of surprise, shock or disgust whenever she ventured onto the streets with her disfigured (but veiled) face. Of this she was most puzzled… however accustomed they might have been to people with less-than-favoured appearances, surely there must be some kind of reaction? They only carried about as if everything was normal… as if they could care less about how she looked.
This was exactly what she needed. Oblivion. To disappear from the face of the earth. But she couldn't, not without resorting to something destructive.
Desperate as she was, she would not let herself think about it, not unless she was forced into a corner.
Yes, she was desperate all right. She did not even know how to describe, let alone understand what had caused the sudden change in her face. It was as though a completely different set of cells had overtaken the original, living ones. Now they only look dead, if not decayed. And it was spreading faster than a dry fire through a forest.
She could not turn to anyone for help. Nobody can, and she did not want anyone she knew and loved to see her in this pitiful state. Pity was the last thing she wanted. It would only serve to inflict deeper wounds on her.
Gazing out of the window, she thought long and hard about what else she could do to clean up this mess… for she didn't know where to begin.
That was a misstep, however, for soon her thoughts drifted, as they often did, to linger upon an image that occupied a prominent space in her mind.
"Sorry, Seifer my sweetheart. I had to leave you so suddenly. You must be asking yourself what had gone wrong. I wanted so much to tell you, somehow, that it was none of your fault. I can only blame myself for being weak, for not daring tell it to you face to face…" She whispered aloud, as a single trail of liquid ran down her left cheek.
But you'd probably come after me anyway, even after seeing my note. You were always stubborn as a smelly old rock. But I can't bring myself to face the expression that would certainly show if you were to see me like this… It would be a most cruel thing to behold…
And so… I ran… The coward in me compels my body to sneak away in the wee hours of the day, away from the safety of your strong arms.
Your arms… I miss the rapturous joy that overwhelms me whenever you hold me tight…
Can I no longer hope for your embrace to be mine again?
Why does this have to happen to me, Dearest Hyne?
After experiencing love, and after finally realising what life can offer to me, you have to deal me with such a hefty blow?
Was it because I asked too much from you? Or was it because we aren't destined to be together?
I need answers… but I have no idea where to get them…
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He leans forward against the bar of the balcony and stares into the night sky. Dark magenta clouds filled it up, obscuring the stars and the moon from view.
He remembers that a year ago, he had been watching someone gaze upon the sky in a similar position, and with a similar expression that paints his face now.
A year? Had it been that short a time only since his and that person's life had became irreversibly entwined with each other? It had felt like ages to him, for they had been through so much together, and their love was so strong, so unbreakable, able to withstand any of the hard knocks that might come their way.
Or so he thought.
What kind of love was it if she decides to run away from me instead of sharing whatever troubles her?
And I had known something was wrong even before she left. I kick myself now for not probing for more details. It just might have prevented this from happening!
Maybe she didn't want to involve me in the mess, just like the little burden-bearer she always fancied herself to be. But was I really that hard to trust?
However horrible or heavy it was, I still want to share it.
Or maybe I was the cause for it.
A sick fear shot up his chest as he thought of the last possibility… he knew that he would never forgive himself if it were to be true, and Quistis disappears forever from his side because of him.
"No, my master. It isn't the degree of trust that she places or doesn't place in you that is in the root of the matter. It is pure love that keeps her from divulging her troubles, as she does not want to hurt you, and anyone else for the matter, with it. And I do not think that you are the cause of the problem."
Damien Silvergrace's voice sounded gently in his mind. Evidently, his master's uneasy thoughts had been so strong that he could sense it without much effort.
"I know, Damien. I just feel that it would be much better if we could share everything, especially if it was of such paramount importance that the first thing on her mind was to escape."
"It is hard, My Master. The stronger the love she holds for you, the harder it would be if she thinks it would cause you hurt or worry. I am sure that my Lady loves you more than you can possibly imagine… do not let yourself be deceived by needless burdens." He materialised slowly in the room beside Seifer, putting an arm around him in an attempt at consolation.
"I love her as well. But she's not here to hear my confession… what use would it be without a recipient for it?" Seifer looked at him earnestly, an expectant look on his face.
The Angel's face shifted in uneasiness, for he did not know how to respond, having no answer ready for Seifer's question. For even though he was wise in his ways, he could not possibly have a solution to every problem… especially those concerning matters of the heart.
Seeing his reaction, or rather lack of a reaction, Seifer let out a sigh as imperceptibly as he could, then spoke in a low voice that barely hovered above a whisper.
"Could you leave me alone for a while? I'll be fine… I need some privacy right now…"
"If you wish, my Master." The winged one touched him on the shoulder with the care that one takes with a fragile crystal vase. "Do not think too long, and too badly of the situation. Whatever comes, we will face it together. Remember, you are never alone."
A small nod came from the blond-haired head, followed by a weak smile on his face.
Damien disappeared from the room, leaving him to the solitude he had desired...
The oppressive atmosphere of the rain-scented air assaulted him in a flash… and he found that he could no longer withstand the pressure that was leaning heavily against his throat and chest.
He could finally let go of the frustration pent up in him.
Covering his eyes with a hand, his body shivered from within with uncontrollable spasms at the release of mixed emotions: rage, despair, confusion and vulnerability all rolled into a giant ball…
Sorrow clutches his heart and squeezes it painfully, as one would do to a lemon to extract its juice… only it was blood, not juice coming out from him. He desperately wanted for the tears to come and let go some of the pain, but none would come at his bidding.
Damn… even my tear glands refuse to listen to me.
Quisty… wherever you are, come back to me, please?
I need you so much… that I didn't think it was possible to measure.
I swear to protect you from everything. No one can harm you with my arms as a shield and armour around you.
Not Hyne, not any evil force, and most certainly not me.
Not even yourself.
Come back… Come back… wherever you are…
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So… how did that go? Not too badly I hope… Reviews please! And thanks, Soulofflame for keeping up to your promise! Yay you!