IX
Enlightenment
¡§I don¡¦t wanna run away; but I can¡¦t take it, I don¡¦t understand; if I am not made for you, than why does my heart tell me that I am...¡¨[ix]
This was their second meeting. Whatever prompted Will to become an active member of Starfleet again probably did have something to do with Andy¡¦s death, but for Gods sake, why the Enterprise?!
He smiled boyishly, running his hand through his hair. ¡§Well, you know, I heard of a certain counselor who was stationed aboard, and just couldn¡¦t resist the temptation.¡¨ More seriously, he added, ¡§Besides, Dad insisted.¡¨
¡§I didn¡¦t know you were in Starfleet.¡¨
The same smile. ¡§You never asked.¡¨
¡§You know what I meant.¡¨
Will fidgeted. ¡§In a nutshell, I won admission. And then I wrote The Dark Life and asked to become inactive.¡¨ Deanna didn¡¦t believe it. And Will didn¡¦t feel like explaining. ¡§You have access to my records, find out for yourself.¡¨
¡§You¡¦re rude today.¡¨
Enough.
¡§Let¡¦s cut the bull, Deanna. You and I both know that I probably wouldn¡¦t be here, right now, if it weren¡¦t for you.¡¨ He paused, calculating his words. ¡§I lo-¡¨
¡§I¡¦m not ready,¡¨ Deanna interjected.
¡§To what? To be loved? That¡¦s a contradiction.¡¨
¡§For you.¡¨
~
After that, it was merely strategy.
Avoiding him was easy; Deanna knew the Enterprise and its corridors better than he, and as each mission came and went, she spent less and less time on the Bridge. Beverly and Picard had inquired of it all, and even though she had been unwilling to, she owed it to them, as a best friend and a Starfleet officer.
And it seemed like Will knew what she was doing; he hadn¡¦t bothered to visit her or even talk to her when they were placed in a room together, by default. During these occasions, her back would stiffen and her heart would race, and whomever she seemed to be talking to would also pause, suddenly aware of the affect their first officer put on the ship¡¦s counselor.
END