Notes:

I'm not going to say anything except how happy I'm to know how much you guys love and enjoy this story. It means a lot to me!
Enjoy the chapter you guys!

CHAPTER 16: PERSUASION

Happy reading!

Hange may have been born and raised in Stohess, but she considers Nedlay to be her hometown. She had visited the town a bunch of times ever since she was just a foetus in her mother's womb. Although the reason for her frequent visit to the town was not merely because of a tradition or because she wanted to visit her maternal family, but it was more for her mother's health.

Her mother was born with a frail body and weak lungs; consequently, she is prone to get sick. Even though Stohess' air was not as horrible as Mitras', it was still polluted enough to pose a threat to her mother. So, their family doctor would often advise her mother to go to the rural area for a change of air.

Usually, Hange and her parents would stay in Nedlay for the duration of Summer and Winter. However, sometimes her father could not come along with them, as he had a lot of cases to work with both in Stohess and Mitras. Thus, it was not rare for Hange to be the lone company of her mother when they came to visit Nedlay. Though Nedlay was anything but lonesome. In fact, visiting Nedlay was always something Hange looked forward to, as it reminded her of the times she got to spend with her grandparents, her uncles, and the kids that lived around the area.

However, this time, Hange had a different outlook regarding her visit. She was shaking in her seat—but not from the eagerness and excitement—inside a crowded second-class carriage. She sat next to a mother with a crying toddler, but Hange was not even bothered to engage in the rowdiness of the train since her own thought was louder.

Hange remembered how she broke down in tears when she read a telegram from her uncle, informing her that her mother had fallen down the stairs and collapsed.

After many comforts were offered by Mrs Weiss and Moblit, Hange was fortunately permitted to visit her mother the next day. Albeit her uncle didn't say anything about asking her to come, a voice inside her kept telling her to come and she knew that she wouldn't be able to sleep soundly until she saw her mother.

However, that was not the only thought that had been rummaging through her mind.

Hange looked out to the windows and saw a vast plain greenery underneath the grey sky. She closed her eyes as she recalled the event that happened a few days ago. She did not know what got into her that night. Hange was not even planning to share the news with anyone. However, a certain bad decision on her part combined with alcohol intoxication and mixed with the fact that Moblit just so happened to be in the wrong place at the right time, was exactly the perfect recipe for her own disaster.

Furthermore, to add insult to injury, Moblit's reaction was not as precise as Hange imagined it should be. For a piece of seemingly shocking news, Moblit reacted like he just heard another Sunday sermon from the local vicar. He did not even show any sign of uncertainty. Instead of asking about how that could happen or asking whether she was lying, Moblit rather asked, "Why did you say no?"

Why?!

Well, was it not obvious? He is her employer, a person who pays her to work in the manor in the first place. Wouldn't that breach work protocols? Even though there wasn't such protocol there, but still, what would people say if she married her employer? A person who is certainly above her status, nonetheless. Her family and his family would be the talk of the town!

She could at the very least handle it to some degree, but Mikasa? What if people start using her to spread nasty rumours regarding the wicked and avarice governess? That would be cruel to her.

However, despite the overblowing information that crammed through her mind, all she could answer was, "I don't know…"

Yet, nothing could prepare Hange for Moblit's next question.

"…Is it because you don't hold any feelings for Mr Levi?"

Feelings…

Feelings?

For him?

She—

"Hello? Pardon me, Miss."

A soft voice called out to her suddenly; it brought her back from her wherever she was minutes ago. Hange glanced at the seat next to her and to her surprise, it was no longer a mother with a toddler. Instead, a woman wearing an elegant deep red dress sat next to her. She was holding a book on her lap.

The first thing that Hange noticed from the stranger's face was how bright her eyes are, like a pair of shimmering emeralds. Her skin is pale with noticeable freckles on her whole face. She was wearing a matching maroon bonnet, yet it couldn't hide the fiery burn of her hair that have the same shade as the sky at dusk.

To say the woman is beautiful is certainly an understatement.

"… Yes? Can I help you?" Hange replied hesitantly.

"Ah, I just want to inform you that we are about to approach the Ehrmich district. So, I was wondering whether it is your destination?"

Hange quickly glanced toward the windows and noticed a small station upfront before returning to look at the lady, "Oh… No, no. My destination is still far from here."

"I see. I'm sorry for bothering you. I just notice that you were spacing out, and I couldn't help but feel worried that you might miss your stop."

A small smile bloomed on Hange's face, "No worries, thank you for your concern. It was very kind of you, Miss."

"You are very welcome," She nodded politely, "If I may know, where are you going to?"

"Nedlay."

"Oh! That's a nice place I heard. Visiting for a little vacation, I suppose?"

Hange bit her lower lip before letting out a weak chortle, "No, not really… I'm actually on my way to visit my mother. I was told that she got sick—well, injured—yesterday."

The woman widened her eyes and raised one palm to her chest as she said, "Oh... I'm really sorry to hear that. That must be shocking for you. I hope she'll be alright. I'm sending you and your mother my prayer."

She was a stranger, that is for sure, but her words were not said out of civility. There was something veritable in the way she responded to Hange.

"Thank you." Hange replied, "To be quite honest, my uncle already told me that my mother is fine, which is a big relief. But I also think he said that so I wouldn't feel the responsibility of visiting her. However, I can't help but worry."

"That is understandable. It means she must be very important to you, right? I would do the same thing if I was you. So, do not feel bad about it."

Hange let out a sigh before nodding at her, "Yes… Thank you again for your kind words."

"Oh no, you give me so much credit, but I'm happy to be a help." She said with a gentle smile on her face, but she suddenly shifted her expression as if she just remembered something.

"My, how rude of me. I should've introduced myself first." The woman continued with a chuckle before offering Hange her hand. "My name is Marie Rosenfeld, it's a pleasure to meet you…?"

"Hange Zoë," Hange said as she shook Miss Rosenfeld's hand.

"Miss Zoë! It's a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, Miss Rosenfeld." Hange replied before asking her, "How about you, Miss? Where is your destination?"

"I'm going to Herne, exactly one stop before you."

"For what occasion?"

"To attend a wedding of an old friend."

"Wedding?" Hange's smile grew wider at the mention, "That sounds exciting and fun."

"Yes, I suppose it is! I am looking forward to the party and feast."

"I'm sure you are!" Hange laughed before lowering her voice down again, "Speaking of, are you travelling alone?"

"No, I'm actually with my aunt. However, since we arrived at the railway station quite late, we were only able to secure only one ticket for the first class. So in the end, I bought the second-class ticket while my aunt is in the first class."

"I see. Well, based on my observation, I think the number of passengers keeps adding up each month. Maybe the railway management ought to add more schedules and carriages to accommodate this rising need."

"Yeah, it's quite merry in here, isn't it? I agree that the management should keep a better watch on the number of passengers. However, I doubt that is something they are prioritizing right now." Miss Rosenfeld grinned as she glanced around the diverse passengers.

"Careful Miss, you never know who might be listening," Hange said teasingly before shifting her attention to a book on Miss Rosenfeld's lap. "By the way, what are you reading about, Miss Rosenfeld?"

"Oh, this?" Miss Rosenfeld swiftly took the book and showed the cover title to Hange, "Just some novel for light reading, are you familiar with this story?"

Hange's eyes twinkled when she read the title, "Persuasion? Definitely! It is one of my favourites."

"Is that so? I haven't read much of Miss Austen's works, but so far, I quite like this story. In fact, this is my second time reading it."

"Yes, it's a great book so I get why you want to read it again," Hange explained, "My mother was the one who told me about this book, she loves Jane Austen ever since she was young, and frankly, I understand why. I mean, I vividly remember being entranced by it the first time I read it. So yes, I love it so much to the point I recommend it to everyone I know."

"Your mother must have been quite an elite reader to know such an author."

There was no ill intent in the way Miss Rosenfeld phrased her words. Hange understood what she meant by it. Jane Austen's work was originally enjoyed by only a few people, preferably as a discussion and study for scholars as well as the upper class. It was not until around last year when her memoir was published that her books gained more traction with the wider public.

"Well, you could say that," Hange said goodnaturedly. "My mother was raised in a family of avid readers, so she read a wide range of genres ever since she was little. She even read books which were usually deemed out of her class status."

"I see, that explained it! For me though, the first time I read Miss Austen's work was a few months ago when my aunt wanted me to read Emma to her. I do like the story and I love Miss Emma Woodhouse; I think she has the confidence that I wish I had." Miss Rosenfeld chuckled. "Due to that, I became interested in reading more of her works. Then, a good friend of mine recommended Persuasion for me to read. He said that he was recommended to read it by his friend, and he ended up liking it as well. So I tried reading it, and I have to say that I did not regret trusting his nor his friend's judgment."

"Haha, they do have great taste, that is for sure!" Hange commented mirthfully.

"Yes, he is!" Miss Rosenfeld smiled before returning her gaze to the book cover. "Honestly, I'm quite pleased to see the range of Miss Austen's writing. I mean, even though I had only read Emma and Persuasion, I can tell how contrasting both of these heroines are. Emma Woodhouse is young, bold, and witty while Anne Elliot is older, reserved, and wise. They both have different struggles as well; one is about overcoming own's superiority while the other is about overcoming own's inferiority."

"That's true, and you will notice even more diversity of main characters when you read her other books. Moreover, you can clearly tell it was written by a woman and for women. I think there will always be something from yourself being mirrored by her characters. It's honestly a weird and comforting feeling to relate to a character in a book. I don't think we see that much in other books."

"Oh, that's certain! I think part of the reason I adore Persuasion is because Anne reminded me a lot of myself." Miss Rosenfeld let out a sigh. "Well, I never broke off an engagement before, but I certainly feel like living under constant persuasion from people around me. But then again, I think that's just how it is by being a woman, right?"

"That is my thought exactly, Miss Rosenfeld! I think we are generally not raised to conjure our own choices. We all have our own life mapped before our eyes, that is to marry and to have children, and we spend most of our time trying to conform to all those pressures veiled in expectations and morals."

"You said it perfectly to the point that it is so heartbreaking to hear. But I do understand why that was the case. There is nothing that we can do to sustain our lives other than by marrying a secure gentleman. Even if you did not need to marry for money, you still need to marry to maintain your reputation, and eventually your family's upstanding. You don't want to end up as that shameful spinster of a family, right?"

Hange nodded furiously, "I know! Even though I was lucky to have supporting parents, there are still people out there who care way too much for you and your family. Hence why I understand the reason Anne rejected Mr Wentworth. Being continuously told that you are way superior to him as well as how miserable you would be with him could do so much for one's psyche."

Miss Rosenfeld mirrored Hange as she said, "True. She was young and naïve as well, no wonder she would be easily persuaded by someone who she considers as her closest confidant."

"Exactly…" Hange sighed, "I can only imagine her sorrow and regret when she realized her mistake."

"Same. But I truly believe she is so strong than what she presented herself for, as she was able to continue her life despite all the hardship and the emotional burden. All of that while she was also being treated so awfully by her own family." Miss Rosenfeld shook her head. "I applaud her for still being kind despite everything. If I was her, I would probably turn grim as I lament how cruel I am for being dishonest and hurting the feeling of a person that I actually hold very dear in my heart."

Somehow, Miss Rosenfeld's words stirred something from within Hange's memory. A flash of image and suddenly she felt her stomach churning. This seemed to catch the attention of Miss Rosenfeld who shifted her tone and asked.

"Miss, are you alright? You look pale."

Hange blinked as she was quickly awakened from her short musing. "Ah, nothing! I was just remembering something."

However, since Miss Rosenfeld didn't appear to buy her explanation, Hange continued her speech immediately, "Uh, I was just thinking about your opinion, and I do agree with all you just said. Anne must feel so regretful and miserable for denying the person she loves. Not only that, but she must also feel the same amount of regret and misery for she could not make her own choice. I mean, that feeling must be so apparent when she met with Mr Wentworth again after all those years. She must be thinking about how stupid she must be back then…"

Hange tried to ignore the bitter aftertaste in her mouth as she said those words.

"Yes, I think so too. However, I think Miss Austen made Anne such a sympathetic character to the point I couldn't blame her for her past choice, and I think Anne shouldn't really blame herself. Again, she was still young and gullible. At that time, she was doing what she thought the best with the amount of information that she had."

"That is true… Yeah, you are right. We should never blame our old selves, shouldn't we?" Hange replied with a smile, but her voice betrayed her as it was shaking ever so slightly.

"Yeah. You can't change the past either, so like Anne, we should instead focus on how we want to improve ourselves by learning from our mistakes. Maybe, if we are lucky, we could have a second chance, like Anne."

Lucky, huh?

"I couldn't agree more…" Hange nodded as she lowered her voice, "I can only hope that I can be as kind and as strong as she was."

"Me as well. But I guess we should not only hope, instead we must try to be the kind of person we want to be." Miss Rosenfeld suddenly paused, shifting her expression to a more serious one. "Albeit, I can't say I could do that. Saying is easier than done, right? In reality, it's hard to be the person that we want to be, especially for us women."

"Yeah…" Hange smiled weakly, "But then, if I may ask, what do you want to be, Miss Rosenfeld?"

"Me?" She raised her eyebrows at Hange as if she didn't expect to be asked about that. "Hmm, I guess I want to become someone who can choose what to do with her life."

Hange went quiet at her answer, something that made Miss Rosenfeld chuckle.

"It's weird, right? Most of my friends said it's weird."

"What? Oh, no, I don't think it's weird. I just, uhm, didn't expect you to answer it like that. I thought you would have something more tangible."

"Oh, no, I never had such a thought." Miss Rosenfeld chortled, "You see, ever since I was a child, I already had my life planned out before me. I was always taught how to be obedient, docile, knowledgeable but not too intelligent, and charming but also passive. In short, I was raised to be a great wife to some rich gentleman, like how most women of my standing are. So, my parents had a strict curriculum, schedules, and rules for me to follow in the house."

"Was it hard?"

"Very much so, but somehow, I survived. I certainly would not wish that for anybody though." Miss Rosenfeld glanced at Hange thoughtfully before humorously lowering her voice, "Also, this is a secret, but part of the reason why I came to Mitras was not really out of duty to take care of my elderly aunt, it was more of my selfish wish to break free from that life."

"I can say that's a smart move on your part, Miss Rosenfeld, and I truly can't blame you for that."

"Ah, thank you. It means a lot to me." She smiled widely. "The thing is, they were already planning on me to engage in the society of the big city though, so they didn't mind me living without their supervision. For them, this is a great opportunity for me to be courted by rich gentlemen who are abundant there. It's my main duty, and they always make sure that I wouldn't stray away from it. Every time I got a letter from them, it's always about my men-hunting journey and not about my well-being."

"I'm sorry to ask this, but why did they seem really eager to marry you off?"

Miss Rosenfeld hummed playfully, "Hmmm, maybe because I'm already 26 years old? I'm also the only child out of their seven children who haven't gotten married, and since most of my siblings failed in gaining the attention of rich gentlemen, the batons are passed onto me. After all, it's their dream to marry their child to an affluent family."

Hange didn't say anything, she just listens to her.

"As I said before, my dream is to freely choose my own life. However, I understand that it's impossible for me to get by life if I live alone. I can't even work to make money and sustain my life. Besides, I can't live with my aunt forever. So, I'll eventually have to settle down. Therefore, at the very least, I want to marry someone whom I choose while still adhering to my parents' wishes. It's not ideal, but..."

Hange kept her mouth shut. From her point of view, there was a bittersweet smile gracing Miss Rosenfeld's face while her eyes were staring at nothing. She seemed to be occupied by her own thought.

"Ah, I talked too much. I'm sorry." Miss Rosenfeld suddenly spoke up and looked back at Hange with a smile, "Enough about me, how about you?"

"Me?"

"Yes. What do you want to be, Miss Zoë?"

"Hmm…" Hange bit the inside of her cheek, "To be honest, at this point, I'm not even sure about mine."

"Why? Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't even know where to start… I just feel like all the things I choose to do will eventually leave me feeling regretful."

"I see, I understand your worry." She replied softly, "However, I like to think that in the end, it's just part of life, of being a human. We all made bad choices, aren't we? No one is free from that feeling, including me and you."

"I guess you are right."

"For the record, I'm in the same boat as you, I'm still not sure where my life is going to take me. However, I do know one thing for sure is, rather than focusing on the fear of messing up, why not instead focus on what we can do if it did happen? I think being an adult is accepting that bad things will eventually happen, but also understanding that we are not completely helpless."

Hange fell into silence as she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

"It's fine, you are going to be alright."

Hange blinked her eyes quickly before smiling at the woman, "This might sound odd, but even though I just meet you, I already feel like I've known you for a while."

Miss Rosenfeld raised her eyebrows before smiling, "It's not odd because I feel the same way as well, Miss Zoe!"

"Please, if you don't mind, call me Hange."

"Hange…" She repeated cheerfully, "Then please call me Marie."

They continued to talk for a while, and before they know it, the train was about to arrive at Herne. Before Marie left, she took out her little notebook and rip a page out. She wrote something on the paper before giving it to Hange.

It turned out she wrote her address, telling Hange to write to her once they both get back from their visit.

Once again Hange was left on her own accord. Loneliness is not a great friend for a buzzing mind. As she returned to watch the empty barren land from the railway's window, her mind transported her back to July.

During her visit to Nedlay back in July, her uncle asked her to accompany him for a walk through the park. Hange happily obliged as he is a very entertaining person to spend time with. Alfred Ellery, whom Hange affectionately calls Uncle Al, is a 61-year-old retired doctor. He is the oldest of eight siblings and he is seven years older than her mother. He is a widower, and he has no child, yet he loves Hange as if she was his own.

During their walk, her uncle told her that her mother's sickness is getting worse and would probably get to a concerning stage if she does not receive proper treatment from a health institution.

"You might want to consider sending her to a health resort. I heard that the facility in Krolva is good for consumption treatment." His uncle said as he tapped his cane on the concrete.

"So I heard…" Hange whispered. "But, I… We don't have that much money to send her there."

"I know that, Hange. It breaks my heart to say this, but something must be done." He looked over to Hange with a meaningful look. "Moreover, I'm already old, I'm not sure I have a lot of time left to watch over your mother forever."

"Uncle! Don't say that!" Hange quickly retorted, frowning at him.

His uncle shrugged his shoulders with a small laugh, "I'm just being realistic here, Hange."

He then stopped on his way and sat on a bench that was in the park. He gestured to the space next to him, inviting her to join him.

A lot of thought went into her head as she took a seat next to her uncle. She was worried about the well-being of her mother. It was barely a decade since her father passed away. She could not bear the thought of losing her this soon.

But then she realised, in doing so, she needed to continue earning more money for her.

But, how? How could she possibly earn more money? She can't stay with the Ackermans forever, she eventually has to search for a new job—if she gets a job. However, even if she gets a new job, she doubts her payment would be enough to give her mother extravagant treatment.

So far, they relied on her governess' payment and the money that was left by his father, but that certainly can't sustain them forever. Especially not when her mother still insisted on always putting Hange's needs above her own. For example, her mother still buys her brand-new stuff that she could get her hands on, claiming that despite her job, Hange is still a lady of a renowned middle-class family.

Hange looked down at her light purple dress—that she received from her mother right before she left to be a governess at the Ackerman Estate—and sighed. She would be lying if she said that she never had the thought of just leaving everything and starting a new life somewhere under a different name. There were times when she just wished she can live her own life and be freed from the thought regarding her mother's sickness. It is not like the health resort would magically save her life. The doctor had already said that her mother probably wouldn't live a long life.

Still, her love for her mother outweighs her desire. There is just no way she could leave her. Even if she could not give her mother everything, the least she could do is provide her mother with the best care she can get.

Nevertheless, the future is proven to be hard for that to happen. So, she must be prepared for the worst. She can't always leave everything to Uncle Al alone. Someone has to take care of her mother, something that she could not possibly do if she had to work. But, would her money be enough to pay for a caretaker? What if—

"Hange."

Hange was awakened suddenly from her contemplation by the soft voice of her uncle. She glanced over to the side to look at him. He reached for her hair and rubbed it, an action that made Hange forget about her problems for a second.

"I know you won't like this, but I want to give you another option." He took his hand away from her. "You could get married."

Hange clicked her tongue. It is not like she had not been thinking about the possibility. For the record, Hange was courted three times before, but none of it ended up in a marriage. She was 18 when a doctor took an interest in her, but he abandoned her to marry a more affluent lady. Then, when she was 19, a wealthy gentleman proposed to her. However, they only got engaged for a month before it was annulled by the man because he thought that Hange is way too barbaric for a wife. Lastly, a military man offered his hand to her when she was 21, but since she refused to follow him to his job, he took back his proposal.

"I'm aware of that option, uncle. But who would want me?" She replied, "I don't have a high dowry or lofty inheritance. I don't even have the traits that are fitting to be someone's wife. Moreover, I have a sick mother to look after too. I doubt my soon-to-be husband would want to go for all that trouble for such a bride."

His uncle did not immediately answer, instead, he took a deep breath before looking at Hange. "I have an old friend that I was, fortunately, able to reconnect with again after years of seeing each other. He just moved from abroad, now he lives not far from here. He has a son who is currently running their trading business."

Hange raised one of her eyebrows, "Were you trying to arrange a marriage between me and his son?"

He shook his head, "No, of course not. He was actually the one who offered me the idea."

"Really?"

"He was interested when he found out that I have a niece. He thought that you might be a perfect match for his son. So, he personally asked me whether he could ask you for a hand in marriage for his son."

Hange widened her eyes, shaking her head as she tried to wrap her mind around it. "What?! Don't tell me he had been proposing daughters for his son?"

"Yes, he said that since his son did not have any intention to marry, he took it upon himself to search for a bride for his son."

"That's odd… Still, from all of the women in this town… Why me? We haven't even seen each other yet."

Uncle Al took a deep breath before answering, "…He is aware of the condition of you and your mother."

"What?" Hange furrowed her brows, "Did you tell him?"

Uncle Al scratched his curly and thick white hair before glancing at Hange with a repentant look. "I'm sorry, he was an old friend, so I did confide in him about your condition when he asked about my family. I didn't mean anything, but after that, he immediately offer the idea of marrying you and his son."

"Uncle Al…"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told him that…"

"I know you mean well, but I—" Hange cleared her throat as she felt her mouth trembling, "I am not a charity."

"Yes, you are not, Hange. I know that. You are everything that is great about this world." Uncle Al smiled pitifully at Hange before lowering his head. "This might be my selfish request, but I want you to consider his offer. He seemed genuine, he did not even ask for a high dowry, and his son is an agreeable fellow. They are also very kind and respectful despite their wealth."

Hange took a deep breath before letting out an exasperated sigh.

"I am sorry Hange, for everything. I am sorry that it has to come down to this. I am sorry that I couldn't do anything for both you and your mother."

Hange stared at Uncle Al who was quivering as he kept his head down toward her. He was no longer the young man who liked to hold Hange on his shoulders as they run around the garden. In front of her was a man who had dedicated decades of his life tending to his patients and his own family. A man who had cheated the death of so many lives.

A man who in reality needs a rest but chose not to out of love for his dying sister. The only person who he can't seem to do anything to help. Although, since her mother is a stubborn person, it shouldn't be a surprise that her sickness would become one too.

"No, it's not your fault, Uncle." Hange closed her eyes as she played with her own fingers. "You said that he asked you about a potential engagement between me and his son… Well, what did you say to him?"

"I thanked him for the offer, but I told him that I had to ask you first." He raised his head and took Hange's hand ever so gently, "I wouldn't agree without your consent."

Hange squeezed his hand as she leaned her head on Uncle Al's shoulder, "Thank you for that."

Uncle Al hummed as he kissed Hange's hair. They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying the soft summer breeze. They could hear the murmur of kids who were running around the park and the soft chirp of the birds soaring in the sky. Hange wanted everything to stay like that forever and wished that everything was just a long painful dream.

"Did you tell mum about it?" She was the first one to open her mouth.

"No, I want you to be the one who told her."

She could already tell that her mother would disagree with Uncle Al. However, the thing is, Hange felt obliged to try, at least to try to get to know the man. Hange knew that this was an offer that she could not ignore, not when it could help her mother greatly.

"Do you want to meet them? The father actually invited us for afternoon tea tomorrow." Uncle Al asked her, cautiously.

Hange stared at the horizon, thinking for a very long time. She let out a huff of breath as she nodded, "Alright, sure."

"Nedlay Station! Nedlay Station!"

Hange was brought back to the present time by a voice who turned out to be the railroad guard. Hange glanced at the window and noticed that she had arrived at her destination. It looked like she fell asleep on the rest of her way after parting away with Marie. She stood up from her seat and grabbed her handbag before getting off the carriage.

She walked past the crowd in the station which seemed to be more packed than usual, it almost made her nauseous. But then her nose picked up a fresh fragrance from a nearby flower vendor. Usually, she would stop by and see the selection of flowers and maybe buy some for her mother. However, this time she chose to walk past the vendor even though her eyes caught stacks of bright yellow sunflowers on the stand.

Hange absentmindedly touched her hat while a familiar figure appeared inside her mind.

When she met up with her supposed soon-to-be fiancé who asked her about the prospect of them marrying, all she could think about was Mr Ackerman. Every time she tried to picture her future, she saw no one but him and his pair of grey eyes.

Which, at that time, was a silly thought. Mr Ackerman is a gentry, someone who is positioned in the upper class of the hierarchy. He is definitely out of her reach, a mere daughter of a late middle-class lawyer. There is no way he would be interested in her, or even offer her hand for marriage.

That was why she was freaking out when he did ask for her hand. Truth be told, Hange was never able to shake him away from her mind ever since his revelation that night near the lake.

The thing is, she spent her whole time struggling to choose between letting her mother suffer in sickness, working harder to earn more money, or accepting a marriage offer from a gentleman that she barely knew.

She was not aware that there would be a fourth choice, and that is Mr Ackerman's proposal. That was not supposed to happen. Their exchange that night near the lake was not real. Maybe it was all in her head, maybe she was just going insane to the point of dreaming about him.

Dreaming. How long had she been dreaming about him?

She realised that when she was asked to be married by the son of her uncle's friend, she wished it was him instead. She realised that when she was dancing with Mr Jaeger, she wished it was him instead. She realised that when she did dance with him when he held her close for their dance, she wished that he would embrace her instead.

She wishes that she could stay with him forever.

Hange had never told her wishes to everybody, not even to the ceilings of her bedroom. Why even bother to wish when she knows that it was impossible?

Or at least that was what she tried to convince herself. Because she did not want that to happen, that was not supposed to happen, especially not when she already made up her mind. She already had her life planned, she is going to refuse Mr Jaeger's offer to study, then she is going to retire from her job as a governess the next spring, and then she is going to accept the marriage offer from the man back at Nedlay. They will marry and Hange will finally have enough money to send her mother to a great health resort.

However, there is a voice inside a tiny room of her heart. A voice that whispered a wish and regret, for she really wanted to say yes back then near the lake. Would it be possible for her to come back in time? Would it be possible to tell him that she changed her mind? To tell him that she wanted to accept his proposal.

But she did not, she could not, and she would not.

She already said no, and she had to face her choice. It was her own voice, no one persuaded her. Besides, Hange Zoe is not a protagonist of a novel, so she doubts that there will be a second chance for her.

-Chapter 16 End-

Replies:

mutsumi senpai: The next chapter is finally here! Sorry for the wait!

Thank you so much for reading this chapter! Especially to those of you who have been waiting for ages. I'm really grateful for being so patient with me!
I'm working hard to publish the next chapter!

If you want to know about the progress regarding this story, you can check my writing side blog at tumblr (bluemallow-log)
You can also visit me on my tumblr (spilledsinnamontea) and twitter (usn: spilledsinnamon)

I'll see you all later!

My rambling below (feel free to skip):
- I have wanted to write Marie into the story and I'm so happy I can finally do it! She is a fun character to speculate about. I write her thinking about a character who is older and more mature than Hange. I'm happy with how she turned out in the story.
- Other than that, I write Marie as someone who is more of a lady of her time as a contrast to Hange, but both of them are still longing for independence. However, their definition is different. You see, even women who lived in the Victorian era can still be independent and progressive in their own way. Like for example, taking over the family business or maybe choosing a partner who respects her and won't settle for less. So, they might not go to university or protesting about women's rights, but they are still strong women. I suggest you watch this video
- I swear to God I'm not writing this to review Persuasion or even to spread my Jane Austen agenda (or maybe? HAHA). But I read Persuasion at the same time I was planning this whole story, and I think it fits perfectly with Hange's situation! So, I have to integrate it into the story.
- Just to be clear, I'm referring to the book and not the netfl** adaptation XD