Title: Silence of the Heart
Author: Sarit
Anime: Matantei Loki Ragnarok
Pairing: Loki + Mayura
Warning: Angst and sap
Disclaimer: MLR does not belong to me, though I wish it did. No sue, don't have money!!
Summary: Loki reflects on his feelings as he speaks with Mayura in the park. Takes place before he 'returns' to Asgard.
Warning: Spoilers for episode 26 of the anime! If you haven't seen it, then this will be a major spoiler for you! On certain scenes, I will be using direct translations from the anime, so be warned!
Sunlight shone on the two young people, sitting on the bench in the local park. Passersby gazed at the two, smiling fondly at the obvious couple. The man, who could be no older than seventeen or eighteen years of age, sat next to the young woman, a melancholy expression on his face. He was indeed handsome; stunning many would say. Riveting green eyes gazed at the ground, as if in deep contemplation.
The young woman beside him was lovely, some would say beautiful. Soft lilac hair fell down her back, her eyes gazing out into the distance sadly. One would have thought the two had an argument, a lovers spat.
Unfortunately, this was the furthest thing from the truth. The young man listened to the young woman speak, feeling a coldness within his heart as she began.
"I'm so lost on where to find him." Mayura said softly, gazing off into space as she spoke. All she could remember was Yamino's words, how Loki was gone and the butler didn't know when, or if, Loki would return. She missed her friend, missed him something terrible. Her heart ached when she thought of him gone, somewhere alone and possibly afraid.
Leaning forward slightly, Loki gazed at his hands, giving a slight nod. "Is that so..." In his own mind, he could see the hairpin that Verdandi had given him, at his request. It was beautiful; something Mayura would truly love and cherish. Gold wrapped around azure, it sparkled in the sunlight.
Remember his conversation with Verdandi; Loki gazed at the golden hairpin in his hand. It was shielded from Mayura's sight, his own eyes gazing at the gleaming object in contemplation.
"Excuse me?"
Snapping out of his thoughts, Loki looked up, giving a slight smile. "Yes?"
Mayura looked at him with curiosity, despite her sadness at not being about to find her lost friend. "What relationship do you have with Loki-kun?"
"Uhm..." Loki hesitated. Did he tell her the truth? What would she think if he told her that this was his true form?
Tilting her head to the side, Mayura looked at him closely. He looked so much like Loki-kun... "Are you one of his relatives?"
Relatives?! Loki almost snorted with laughter at that question. It was odd talking about yourself in the past tense, as if you were someone else. "No. We are...just friends."
"Friends...I see." Mayura seemed to wilt right in front of him, the slight spark of happiness in her eyes instantly vanishing at his words. Loki immediately regretted his words, wishing he could take them back.
He turned his head away from her, once again gazing at the concealed hairpin in his hand. She was so sad and lonely...all he had to do was give her the pin, and all her sadness would go away...
"Okay then." Mayura said a softness and lightness to her voice as she stood. Loki looked up, surprised. "I'm going to look for him again." Turning to face Loki, she smiled softly. "I don't have any ideas on where he might be, but I'll look for him anyway."
"Oh..." Loki stared at her, not quite believing his ears. She was willing to do that for him? Did he really mean that much to her?
"Well, good bye then." Mayura turned to go.
"Hey, wait." Loki looked up, gazing at her with a strange expression on his face.
"What?" Mayura asked, tilting her head in curiosity. This boy was so strange. She'd long gotten over how handsome he was, but couldn't get over how kind he seemed to be. He listened to her without thinking her a freak, or an idiot. She found she enjoyed his company, but she couldn't think about that now. She had to find Loki-kun...
Watching her carefully, Loki tightened his hold on the hairpin in his hand. Coming to his feet, he faced her, completely serious. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Mayura blinked, shocked at the offer. She didn't even know this man and he was offering to help her find her lost friend?
"You seem really listless." Loki found himself wanting to reach out, comfort her in her sorrow that she was obviously hiding. The hand that held the hairpin shook slightly until he tightened his grip.
Smiling, Mayura couldn't help but give a soft giggle. "Thank you very much. But your thoughts are enough." She turned from him, walking down the path, away from Loki. She'd already spent too much time as it was, talking to this nice man. Loki-kun was waiting for her to find him...
"Hey."
Mayura turned, blinking. She couldn't have just seen what she'd thought she'd seen.
Loki stood before her, a smirk on his lips. Long, beautiful white wings seemed to spring up from behind his back, the very picture of him beautiful. It was a sight that Mayura had never seen and she found herself drawing in a breath at his loveliness. He appeared angelic, almost otherworldly.
"I'm a god." The words alone would have made Mayura laugh in amusement if that strange vision of him hadn't appeared to her.
"I'll grant you one wish. " Loki said softly, standing before her. In his hand he held the hairpin. Gazing into her eyes, his hand began to open to give her the golden trinket. He couldn't stand to see such sadness within her.
Only he never gave it to her. Just as his hand was about to open to hand her the hairpin, she did the impossible.
She giggled.
Loki stared at her, in shock. She was giggling! He didn't see how she could do something like that, what with the way she was so upset over "Loki-kun's" disappearance.
Still giggling, Mayura looked up at the young man in front of her, smiling softly. "You sound just like Loki-kun."
A fine tremor went through Loki, his eyes wide as he gazed at her in perplexity. Pulling his hand back, he clasped the hairpin to his chest, his eyes unbelieving as he gazed at her.
Mayura smiled back at him. "I love mysteries and the occult." Fighting a sigh, she looks down, her face holding an unbearable sadness. "But I don't believe in God. When I was still young, my mother became sick. And I prayed to God everyday, to not take her away. But it was of no use." Her eyes close, as if trying to hide her deep sadness from him. After a moment she opens them, a soft smile on her face as she gazes at Loki. "Sayonara."
Loki watched as Mayura turned from him and began to walk away. She stopped midway from him, her head bowed. "I wonder if I'm going to lose another important person again..."
Behind her, Loki watched, almost spellbound. Her sadness was like one of Odin's spells, binding him to the spot so he couldn't even move or go to her to comfort her.
A sigh escaped her then. "I don't want that to happen." Mayura turned around suddenly, bowing before him. "I want to see Loki-kun again."
Keeping himself from taking a step back in shock, Loki stared at her, his mouth opened and his eyes wide in shock. Was she serious? Did he truly mean so very much to her?
Unaware of his expression, Mayura kept her head down, a lump in her throat as she spoke. "I don't believe in God. But if you can make my wish come true...then please!" Afraid of facing him, Mayura turned and ran away, not even noticing the tears that fell down her cheek.
Loki watched her go, feeling his hear constrict painfully. "Mayura..."
Following her after her day of fruitless searching, Loki stood behind her. Watching her head home, dejected, he couldn't help but clasp his hand around the hairpin. The metal of the object was neither comforting nor soothing. 'Mayura...'
Turning away, he made the long journey back to the streetcar that was in the country. His eyes stared ahead as he walked, though inwardly his heart felt like breaking into tiny pieces. He gazed at the hairpin in his hand, and then closed his eyes, letting it fall. It shattered into a million pieces on the ground.
"I..." Loki stopped, closing his eyes. He felt a great burden of sadness constrict his heart. He felt...he didn't know what he felt. Never in all the countless centuries of his existence had he felt like this before. No pain could be as great as seeing Mayura's saddened face, her pain-filled eyes, knowing she would never see her 'Loki-kun' again.
What was it that he felt for this strange girl? Nothing that he'd felt before, that he was certain. Walking to the streetcar, Loki shivered slightly. It had grown so very cold...
Seeing the streetcar, his eyes fell on his children. Yamino stood calmly, waiting. Fenrir was next to his younger brother, Eechan, there as well. His eyes fell on Yamino and the look of knowledge on the young man's face. Finally standing before them, he closed his eyes for a long moment. Mayura needed him...and truthfully, he needed her as well. 'I...love her.'
"Daddy!"
"Loki-tama!" Fenrir greeted Loki with his usual exuberance. The black puppy all but danced with joy at seeing Loki once more. Eechan seems just as excited as he floated near Yaminio's head. The Trickster God couldn't help but smile, even in his sadness.
"We were waiting for you." Yamino said simply, looking as calm and serene as he ever did.
"Ah." Loki nodded briefly, bowing his head. He knew what he wanted, but what of his family? Would they want this as well?
"Everyone..." Loki opened his eyes, the green pools filled with sadness, yet conviction. "I will...not return the world of gods."
If Loki had expected protests, he would have to wait a long time. Fenrir just gazed up at him, wagging his tail, his eyes solemn. Yamino and Eechan neither said anything, both equally serious, yet content.
"I see you're not surprised." Loki commented, a slight smile on his lips. His children never ceased to amaze him. But then, he mused, that was the way of children. A surprise at every turn, but always delightful to have around.
"Loki-sama." Yamino pushed up his glasses, a serene smile on his face. "Why do you think Hel-neesan was able to smile at the end?"
Loki took a step back, unprepared for this question. He swallowed, his fist clenching at the mention of his dead daughter. He shook his head, gazing at Yamino in shock.
"I don't know much about it..." Fenrir began, causing Loki to look down at his eldest son. "But I think she did it because she was happy, Daddy."
Eechan smiled, floating gently in the wind as he replied. "If you are next to someone important to you, you will be happy. If you separate, you feel sadness."
Not quite believing what he was hearing, Loki could only stare at them, dumbstruck. Yamino stared back, his voice soft. "We want to stay with you, Loki-sama. If Loki-sama wants to go somewhere, we will follow you anywhere."
'Anywhere...' Loki closed his eyes, nodding once. He knew what he wanted...who he wanted. But she didn't' want him; she wanted 'Loki-kun.'
But who's to say it had to be that way forever? He was a god, after all. Gods can change things. 'All right. 'Loki-kun' it is then.'
Not yet, anyway.
A mischievous smile creeped over his lips. Someday she would. And when that day came, she would learn his true self...and then they could be together. 'For you, Mayura...'
Closing his eyes, a soft light surrounded him. When Mayura turned,, the one she'd been searching for was before her.
The eight year old boy smiled at her, the same mischievous smile that had been on the elder's face. Yes, things would be all right from now on. He would make her see...and perhaps, one day, she would See things as they were meant to be.
Author: Sarit
Anime: Matantei Loki Ragnarok
Pairing: Loki + Mayura
Warning: Angst and sap
Disclaimer: MLR does not belong to me, though I wish it did. No sue, don't have money!!
Summary: Loki reflects on his feelings as he speaks with Mayura in the park. Takes place before he 'returns' to Asgard.
Warning: Spoilers for episode 26 of the anime! If you haven't seen it, then this will be a major spoiler for you! On certain scenes, I will be using direct translations from the anime, so be warned!
Sunlight shone on the two young people, sitting on the bench in the local park. Passersby gazed at the two, smiling fondly at the obvious couple. The man, who could be no older than seventeen or eighteen years of age, sat next to the young woman, a melancholy expression on his face. He was indeed handsome; stunning many would say. Riveting green eyes gazed at the ground, as if in deep contemplation.
The young woman beside him was lovely, some would say beautiful. Soft lilac hair fell down her back, her eyes gazing out into the distance sadly. One would have thought the two had an argument, a lovers spat.
Unfortunately, this was the furthest thing from the truth. The young man listened to the young woman speak, feeling a coldness within his heart as she began.
"I'm so lost on where to find him." Mayura said softly, gazing off into space as she spoke. All she could remember was Yamino's words, how Loki was gone and the butler didn't know when, or if, Loki would return. She missed her friend, missed him something terrible. Her heart ached when she thought of him gone, somewhere alone and possibly afraid.
Leaning forward slightly, Loki gazed at his hands, giving a slight nod. "Is that so..." In his own mind, he could see the hairpin that Verdandi had given him, at his request. It was beautiful; something Mayura would truly love and cherish. Gold wrapped around azure, it sparkled in the sunlight.
Remember his conversation with Verdandi; Loki gazed at the golden hairpin in his hand. It was shielded from Mayura's sight, his own eyes gazing at the gleaming object in contemplation.
"Excuse me?"
Snapping out of his thoughts, Loki looked up, giving a slight smile. "Yes?"
Mayura looked at him with curiosity, despite her sadness at not being about to find her lost friend. "What relationship do you have with Loki-kun?"
"Uhm..." Loki hesitated. Did he tell her the truth? What would she think if he told her that this was his true form?
Tilting her head to the side, Mayura looked at him closely. He looked so much like Loki-kun... "Are you one of his relatives?"
Relatives?! Loki almost snorted with laughter at that question. It was odd talking about yourself in the past tense, as if you were someone else. "No. We are...just friends."
"Friends...I see." Mayura seemed to wilt right in front of him, the slight spark of happiness in her eyes instantly vanishing at his words. Loki immediately regretted his words, wishing he could take them back.
He turned his head away from her, once again gazing at the concealed hairpin in his hand. She was so sad and lonely...all he had to do was give her the pin, and all her sadness would go away...
"Okay then." Mayura said a softness and lightness to her voice as she stood. Loki looked up, surprised. "I'm going to look for him again." Turning to face Loki, she smiled softly. "I don't have any ideas on where he might be, but I'll look for him anyway."
"Oh..." Loki stared at her, not quite believing his ears. She was willing to do that for him? Did he really mean that much to her?
"Well, good bye then." Mayura turned to go.
"Hey, wait." Loki looked up, gazing at her with a strange expression on his face.
"What?" Mayura asked, tilting her head in curiosity. This boy was so strange. She'd long gotten over how handsome he was, but couldn't get over how kind he seemed to be. He listened to her without thinking her a freak, or an idiot. She found she enjoyed his company, but she couldn't think about that now. She had to find Loki-kun...
Watching her carefully, Loki tightened his hold on the hairpin in his hand. Coming to his feet, he faced her, completely serious. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Mayura blinked, shocked at the offer. She didn't even know this man and he was offering to help her find her lost friend?
"You seem really listless." Loki found himself wanting to reach out, comfort her in her sorrow that she was obviously hiding. The hand that held the hairpin shook slightly until he tightened his grip.
Smiling, Mayura couldn't help but give a soft giggle. "Thank you very much. But your thoughts are enough." She turned from him, walking down the path, away from Loki. She'd already spent too much time as it was, talking to this nice man. Loki-kun was waiting for her to find him...
"Hey."
Mayura turned, blinking. She couldn't have just seen what she'd thought she'd seen.
Loki stood before her, a smirk on his lips. Long, beautiful white wings seemed to spring up from behind his back, the very picture of him beautiful. It was a sight that Mayura had never seen and she found herself drawing in a breath at his loveliness. He appeared angelic, almost otherworldly.
"I'm a god." The words alone would have made Mayura laugh in amusement if that strange vision of him hadn't appeared to her.
"I'll grant you one wish. " Loki said softly, standing before her. In his hand he held the hairpin. Gazing into her eyes, his hand began to open to give her the golden trinket. He couldn't stand to see such sadness within her.
Only he never gave it to her. Just as his hand was about to open to hand her the hairpin, she did the impossible.
She giggled.
Loki stared at her, in shock. She was giggling! He didn't see how she could do something like that, what with the way she was so upset over "Loki-kun's" disappearance.
Still giggling, Mayura looked up at the young man in front of her, smiling softly. "You sound just like Loki-kun."
A fine tremor went through Loki, his eyes wide as he gazed at her in perplexity. Pulling his hand back, he clasped the hairpin to his chest, his eyes unbelieving as he gazed at her.
Mayura smiled back at him. "I love mysteries and the occult." Fighting a sigh, she looks down, her face holding an unbearable sadness. "But I don't believe in God. When I was still young, my mother became sick. And I prayed to God everyday, to not take her away. But it was of no use." Her eyes close, as if trying to hide her deep sadness from him. After a moment she opens them, a soft smile on her face as she gazes at Loki. "Sayonara."
Loki watched as Mayura turned from him and began to walk away. She stopped midway from him, her head bowed. "I wonder if I'm going to lose another important person again..."
Behind her, Loki watched, almost spellbound. Her sadness was like one of Odin's spells, binding him to the spot so he couldn't even move or go to her to comfort her.
A sigh escaped her then. "I don't want that to happen." Mayura turned around suddenly, bowing before him. "I want to see Loki-kun again."
Keeping himself from taking a step back in shock, Loki stared at her, his mouth opened and his eyes wide in shock. Was she serious? Did he truly mean so very much to her?
Unaware of his expression, Mayura kept her head down, a lump in her throat as she spoke. "I don't believe in God. But if you can make my wish come true...then please!" Afraid of facing him, Mayura turned and ran away, not even noticing the tears that fell down her cheek.
Loki watched her go, feeling his hear constrict painfully. "Mayura..."
***
Unknown to the young woman, a shadow trailed her every footsteps. Loki watched her from a nearby building, his eyes sad. Mayura went from store to store, showing off a picture of her young friend, hoping to find some traces of his whereabouts, to no avail. Everywhere she went, she met with failure.Following her after her day of fruitless searching, Loki stood behind her. Watching her head home, dejected, he couldn't help but clasp his hand around the hairpin. The metal of the object was neither comforting nor soothing. 'Mayura...'
Turning away, he made the long journey back to the streetcar that was in the country. His eyes stared ahead as he walked, though inwardly his heart felt like breaking into tiny pieces. He gazed at the hairpin in his hand, and then closed his eyes, letting it fall. It shattered into a million pieces on the ground.
"I..." Loki stopped, closing his eyes. He felt a great burden of sadness constrict his heart. He felt...he didn't know what he felt. Never in all the countless centuries of his existence had he felt like this before. No pain could be as great as seeing Mayura's saddened face, her pain-filled eyes, knowing she would never see her 'Loki-kun' again.
What was it that he felt for this strange girl? Nothing that he'd felt before, that he was certain. Walking to the streetcar, Loki shivered slightly. It had grown so very cold...
Seeing the streetcar, his eyes fell on his children. Yamino stood calmly, waiting. Fenrir was next to his younger brother, Eechan, there as well. His eyes fell on Yamino and the look of knowledge on the young man's face. Finally standing before them, he closed his eyes for a long moment. Mayura needed him...and truthfully, he needed her as well. 'I...love her.'
"Daddy!"
"Loki-tama!" Fenrir greeted Loki with his usual exuberance. The black puppy all but danced with joy at seeing Loki once more. Eechan seems just as excited as he floated near Yaminio's head. The Trickster God couldn't help but smile, even in his sadness.
"We were waiting for you." Yamino said simply, looking as calm and serene as he ever did.
"Ah." Loki nodded briefly, bowing his head. He knew what he wanted, but what of his family? Would they want this as well?
"Everyone..." Loki opened his eyes, the green pools filled with sadness, yet conviction. "I will...not return the world of gods."
If Loki had expected protests, he would have to wait a long time. Fenrir just gazed up at him, wagging his tail, his eyes solemn. Yamino and Eechan neither said anything, both equally serious, yet content.
"I see you're not surprised." Loki commented, a slight smile on his lips. His children never ceased to amaze him. But then, he mused, that was the way of children. A surprise at every turn, but always delightful to have around.
"Loki-sama." Yamino pushed up his glasses, a serene smile on his face. "Why do you think Hel-neesan was able to smile at the end?"
Loki took a step back, unprepared for this question. He swallowed, his fist clenching at the mention of his dead daughter. He shook his head, gazing at Yamino in shock.
"I don't know much about it..." Fenrir began, causing Loki to look down at his eldest son. "But I think she did it because she was happy, Daddy."
Eechan smiled, floating gently in the wind as he replied. "If you are next to someone important to you, you will be happy. If you separate, you feel sadness."
Not quite believing what he was hearing, Loki could only stare at them, dumbstruck. Yamino stared back, his voice soft. "We want to stay with you, Loki-sama. If Loki-sama wants to go somewhere, we will follow you anywhere."
'Anywhere...' Loki closed his eyes, nodding once. He knew what he wanted...who he wanted. But she didn't' want him; she wanted 'Loki-kun.'
But who's to say it had to be that way forever? He was a god, after all. Gods can change things. 'All right. 'Loki-kun' it is then.'
***
A fine mist surrounded the Entakju Agency. A figure stood in the shadows, looking around. Loki stood, watching Mayura stare at the gates of his home on Midgard. He wanted to reach out to her, call out her name. But even if he did, he wasn't the one she wanted.Not yet, anyway.
A mischievous smile creeped over his lips. Someday she would. And when that day came, she would learn his true self...and then they could be together. 'For you, Mayura...'
Closing his eyes, a soft light surrounded him. When Mayura turned,, the one she'd been searching for was before her.
The eight year old boy smiled at her, the same mischievous smile that had been on the elder's face. Yes, things would be all right from now on. He would make her see...and perhaps, one day, she would See things as they were meant to be.