Chapter 34 – Maze of Shadows
A/N: This chapter requires innate understanding about the respective characters… and to tell you the truth, writing in depth about Seifer isn't one of my fortes. I barely understand the guy! (Even though I've written a Quifer previously… but I am ashamed to admit to this.) However, based on my limited knowledge, I will still try my best to illustrate his inner demons… you decide if it's good enough. But I do not dare to hope that it would come close to the masterpieces of those talented Quifer/Seifer writers out there (Some of whom are reading this as I speak… *quiver* I bow my head before you.).
Anyway, to avoid confusion… I will separate each person's venture into the maze with their name above that particular part of the chapter… heck just read and I'm sure you bright readers will understand.
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~Quistis Trepe~
Quistis blinked hard numerous times, trying to get her eyes accustomed to the sudden darkness that had fallen over the entire space.
Placing an arm out to roughly gauge for any obstacles in the path, she found nothing obstructing the way, and ventured with small, cautious steps from her original position.
Slowly, she walked towards the north, as the voice in her mind had specifically indicated for her to go. She trusted that voice somehow, for it sounded familiar to her, like an old friend in the midst of a huge crowd.
It definitely isn't Redrumiel's… or Fuhrer… whatever the hell his name is… cos I could recognize it even after a thousand years when I have been dead and reincarnated many times over…
She spotted a weak light in the distance… and headed towards it without a moment's hesitation, for the voice had gotten stronger, urging at her to go for it.
She was about to reach her destination, when someone blocked her path.
She recognized it immediately.
"Hey, shadow." She greeted it with a smile.
"How did you know it was me?" It asked, but without the tinge of surprise in its tone for it already knew the answer.
"Well… who else could it be in the maze of shadows? Redrumiel mentioned something about facing my own fears… when in fact I have already beaten you."
The shadow could sense the challenge that Quistis had thrown at it.
Staring at her ice-blues with its pair of identical ones, it tried to daunt her with its harsh gaze.
The blonde barely blinked, only stared back at it with an even tougher assertion.
"You win, once again…" It broke into a bright smile suddenly, for it had only been trying to test her.
"But of course… but I won't say that it was an easy win." Quistis smiled back. "Now, may I go?"
"I won't hold you back. But answer me one last question, and I will set you free."
"Go ahead."
"I am rather curious… why weren't you fazed by the scene I have shown you at our last encounter… the one where you lashed out at Celestine under the influence of Redrumiel's mind control?"
It was downright puzzled by her unpredictable calmness at that time… and frustrated as well, for it had thought of the move to be one that dealt the finishing blow to Quistis.
"That is a rather good question. And this is the answer I give.
I do not believe in regret. I only believe in redeeming for all the wrongs I have done by making up to the person ten-fold, hundred-fold, maybe even more if it feels right. This is not to say that I do not feel remorseful for having hurt her, even though I was not in control of my body and mind then… but it does not give me the excuse to be weak, and succumb under the enemy's trap of trying to break through my mental defense with such underhanded ways. I am sorry if this offends you, but this is the way I am, and I am adamant about it."
"And what if the person is no longer around for you to make up to?" It was still a little unconvinced by her theory, and tried to poke holes in it.
"Then I will live through my remaining years with a resolve to bring happiness to all around me, in the name of the one I have hurt."
It shook its head with a resigned smile.
"I admit defeat, no questions asked. You have gone a long way from the girl who locked herself up in an ice palace all day, because her heart was shattered by a rejection… Go ahead. I will not stop you. You are unbeatable, for you have defeated your greatest enemy… yourself. Now kick that bastard's ass for me! You know you can do it!"
It held out a hand towards Quistis.
She took it, and shook it firmly.
"Thank you. I believe that my fight with you has only hardened my determination against Redrumiel… and has helped me to face my fears head on. Now I know that I can battle without a single doubt in my heart. We might have stood on different sides once, but now I only look upon you as a necessary challenge that I have to tackle in my path towards the light."
She released its hand, and gave it a tight hug.
It was caught unawares by her sudden move, then relaxed and hugged her back.
"I have not been in such close contact with anyone in my many years as your shadow… And for that I am grateful that you are my owner, and not anybody else… for not everyone can accept their shadow as gracefully as you did. You will always have me as your companion in every thing you do. Now go, for time is not something you have in abundance."
Quistis turned to leave, but not before looking back at her shadow.
Her expression was longing, for she knew that she would miss it.
"Go on."
She walked, and she walked, towards the exit of the maze without looking back again… much as she wanted to.
She had things to do, and a Dark Lord to fight.
Farewell… Quisty… I will never see you again…
~Seifer Almasy~
He hated darkness more than anything else.
It reminded him of the time when he was under Sorceress Ultimecia's control… something he would rather forget for the rest of his life, and bury into the deepest corner of his mind. Even if it meant that he would never be able to use that part of his brain, he was willing to sacrifice it in exchange for a peace of mind.
But now, darkness was the only thing that he could see, feel, hear, or even smell.
A foul smell wafted into his nose… a mixture between the coppery scent of sticky, warm blood, rotting corpses and… Ultimecia's favorite scent, cinnamon and jasmine. A nauseating combination indeed, and the very reason why he could not stand the smell of the flower till this day.
He had feared the coming of this day… the day when he had to face everything that had been locked inside himself forcibly… for if he allowed the thoughts to run, he would become insane with grief, regret and most certainly, self-loathing. And now all have returned in full force, demanding that he do something about them.
Never had he shared these feelings with anyone, not even Quisty… for he could not bring it up without experiencing some kind of pain. And he was afraid of what would reflect in Quisty's eyes if he were to confess everything.
He was afraid of returning to the past, where he was all alone, and more helpless than he cared to admit. He was afraid of dragging up nasty memories in Quisty's mind, and putting up a wall between them.
I'm a coward…much as I hate to admit it.
He started to run madly with no particular direction in mind, just with the aim of getting away from the dark.
But each step became heavier, as if something was holding onto his leg.
He looked down.
The floor glowed with an eerie red, and a pool started spreading and rising up around his legs, staining his pants with its dark color and gooeyness.
This is the blood of the innocents you have shed… you can never get rid of it, as you can never get rid of the stink of it on your hands, or the stain of crimson on your Hyperion… invisible to others but glaring at you each time you use your precious gunblade.
He stared at the ground in muted horror. The red pool started changing form, into numerous pairs of gnarled, deformed hands that grabbed and clutched at his legs, refusing to let go even as he tried to shake them off.
You have taken our lives… you have to pay for it… Give it back to us!! Why did you kill us? What wrong have we done? Were we nothing but blades of grass that you could cut away without a second glance? How can you live with yourself with the weight of so many lives on your weapon? You do not have the right to love anyone, or accept love from anyone! You do not deserve to live! Because you are a Sinner! A cold-blooded murderer! A slaughterer of the innocent! We curse upon you the most pitiful, tormenting death! DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!
The multitude of voices sounded in his ear, filled his mind and chanted incessantly, giving him a migraine that felt as if his brain was being bludgeoned by a sledgehammer.
The hands started clawing upwards, reaching for his thighs, torso, shoulders and eventually his neck.
Soon his entire body was covered with the bloody mass, leaving only his face open… but it was only a matter of time before that was covered as well.
Am I doomed to die in this place… in such a manner?
I need a hand… a hand to pull me out of this mess…
~Damien Silvergrace~
Someone tapped him on the shoulder.
He turned around, and came face to face with Celestine.
"Hey… where's this place?"
"I have no idea." Celestine replied shortly, and stared at him with an expression he had never seen before… Like the way Tanya used to look at him when she was alive.
As if she was attracted to him.
It set his heart racing and pounding in a disturbing way.
"Celestine… is anything wrong?" He asked, sweating profusely under her gaze.
"Nothing is wrong… except…" She reached out for him, hooking an arm around his neck, bringing herself closer to him.
"Except?" He was truly spooked by her abnormal actions. If he didn't knew better, he would have thought that she was making a move on him.
"I have an urge to kiss you." She said, and pressed her soft lips upon his. Her moves were tentative at first, followed by a passionate caressing of her lips against his.
He didn't know how to react, and simply stood there in shell-shocked mode… and trying his utmost not to think about the feel of her body against his own.
Get a hold of yourself, Damien Silvergrace! This isn't right in any way, if you think hard about it!
But doesn't her kiss taste so sweet on your lips? You can't deny that can you? You have to be truthful to your desires, for you are a perfectly healthy male Angel. Don't act as if you are all high and mighty… or you might risk a nosebleed from all that cooping up.
The inducing voice of himself was just the thing that woke him up… for the words sounded exactly like what Redrumiel would have used.
"Who are you?" Damien demanded, pulling himself out of her arms and glaring at her. The pair of purple crystals seemed to spout fire, an indication of his fury that his affection for Celestine was being used against him. He felt thoroughly insulted.
"What are you talking about? I'm Celestine!" Her eyes were wide, soulful… the same kind of eyes that made him fall for her… but this one in front definitely was not Celestine… for she lacked the kind of feistiness displayed by her.
"DON'T LIE TO ME!" He yelled, making her jump back at the loudness of his voice.
"Alright… it's me, Tanya. Someone gave me the ability to morph into anyone I want, and so I thought…" Her voice trailed off, tinted by a quivering sadness that indicated her tendency to tear.
"You don't fool me. You can't fake her attitude well enough to fool even a blind man. Now show your real self, or you will regret it."
His staff appearing from out of nowhere, he brandished the weapon in a threatening manner at it/her.
"Okay… don't lose any sweat over it. Although… you will seriously regret this… I can bet your life on it."
As with Quistis, another version of Damien appeared in front of him.
This was his shadow.
Damien stared at him for a while, and proceeded to puke the contents of that morning's breakfast and the entire of previous day's meals on the floor.
I can't believe I was kissed… by a version of myself! Not even the worst case of narcissism could have withstood that kind of… argh… I do not want to think about it…
"Congratulations… you have passed the test of the shadow… well at least what I thought would hold as the greatest threat to you in your battle against the enemy. Technically, since you're a morally upright, or should I say uptight Angel, your shadow is definitely weaker. Some Angels have none-existent shadows… but those with a barrier-ridden past must battle with them. You should count yourself as lucky since you had a relatively pain-free path through life… unlike…" It could not continue, as a wave of sorrow overcame its features.
"Celestine?" He made an educated guess.
It nodded.
"She will need help. So you should not dwell here any longer, but get out of here to see that everyone of your allies are getting through this test or maze of shadows… or they will never come out again. As I speak… another one needs help as well… your Master."
"Seifer?"
"I'm sure you can guess… because of his history… this is bound to be a difficult test for him. You as his Angel should try to see him through, but you cannot interfere with his fight, for ultimately, it is up to him to defeat or accept it."
"How about my Lady?"
"She's already out of the maze, faster than you are. Shame on you. Now get out of here. I do not welcome over stayers."
"Why are you so knowledgeable on such matters?"
"Hey… shadows have to upgrade themselves too, or we will risk disappearing into oblivion. Do you have time for chit chat? The exit is over there… See that huge sign 'EXIT'?"
"If you say so." Damien floated towards the exit, and gave a wave without looking back at his shadow.
~Waterlily~
She stared at the Underground Creature in front of her, and at its claws that were stuck inside her torso.
"I thought you were dead?" She grimaced, as she felt the old pain come back, coupled by the pain in her head.
"I will not let you off so easily." It snarled at her, and twisted the claws in deeper.
Redrumiel's figure appeared beside the creature, smirking at her with a mocking light in his emerald eyes.
"Enjoy the special treatment so far?"
The torture in her head screamed all the more louder with his presence.
She dug inside herself for a source of strength.
"It's no use… the boy does not belong to you. He doesn't even want to look at you; he only has eyes for his lover, Celestine. Hadn't that been impressed upon your thick head by now? You're hopeless. You're better off dead. And you do not belong in this world. Go back to the Hell in your own world, Earth."
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!" She let out a deafening bout of laughter at his words.
He stared at her incredulously.
"Are you mad, girl?"
"Thank you for waking me up with your words, Dark Lord Redrumiel…" She placed a hearty dose of sarcasm in the last three words.
"Zell doesn't belong to me. Tough luck. Me being as fickle as I am, I have a whole range of power source to choose from… but the most powerful of all is myself.
You are right. I do not belong here. Which is why your maze of shadows is nothing but child's play to me. You had picked on the wrong girl when you messed with me. Nobody messes with Earthlings and gets away with it lightly."
As if to emphasize her point, she pushed and pulled at the Underground Creature stuck to her torso with all her physical strength.
It didn't work, and it smirked at her gloatingly.
She reached behind her for an arrow.
And shoved it unflinchingly into the spine of the Underground Creature.
With an ear-piercing howl, it let go of her, and tried its darndest to get the foreign object out of its body.
Above it, she loomed like a giant.
"Adios, Amigoes!" She said with an evil grin, and crushed its skull with the heel of her heavy boot.
"NEXT! YOU!" The gaze she directed at the Redrumiel figure was sharp enough to poke through the thickest hides… and it actually flinched a little under the heat.
"I give you the freedom of choice. Either you leave voluntarily, or I will make sure you suffer the same fate as that thing."
It peered through the corner of its eye at the crushed brain matter of the Underground Creature, and gave a weak smile.
For it was not the real Redrumiel, but a faint form of him that was easily intimidated by the merest threat.
"I'll leave."
And it vanished.
You know you were lying, girl. Why are you doing this?
"Stop bothering me. I have more important things to do." She replied, and headed for the hole in the wall.
The matters of the heart… would there be anything more important than this?
~Zell Dintch~
There was a door in front of him. He turned the knob, only to find it unlocked.
Opening the door, he stepped into the room.
The scene that faced him was something he was totally unprepared for.
It was his house in Balamb Town.
Ma Dintch lay sprawled on her side upon the ground, a pool of red gathering on the floor that flowed from the numerous wounds all over her body.
"MA!" He shouted, and went up to her immediately.
He took off his jacket, and pulled off his T-shirt, using it to exert pressure on his mother's largest wound in the abdomen. It was also the one that had a constant river of red flowing out, gradually depleting her energy and life.
The T-shirt was soaked in no time, for the gush was heavy.
"I…it's no use… Zell… I w…won't be a…able to make it… D… don't cry, my boy…. Be strong."
"No, Ma! You can make it! I'll call the ambulance… wait for me Ma! Don't you die on me!"
Ma Dintch shook her head faintly, and reached out for his hand.
He clutched her palm tightly, as if it would be able to give her the strength that she was losing with each passing minute.
"T…ake care of your..self… Zell… and C…Celestine… upstairs… dying…… as well…. I h…ave to go……"
Her hand went limp, and her cold body fell back to bathe in the pool again.
"MA!!!! NO!!!!!!" He yelled, the words spreading out from the house towards the streets… a yell of protest at the tragic loss suddenly forced upon him.
Then he remembered her last words, and raced up the stairs.
Outside the door to his room, Celestine laid in a similar position as his mother.
He rushed to support her with his body, letting her back lean against his chest.
"Zell… I don't want to die so fast… I have not said sorry to you for the many things I've done… our time together isn't long enough… I don't want to close my eyes and not see you again…" She looked up at him with a pleading expression, her eyes glazed over with pain.
"Celestine… you can't die on me… not in the same day as Ma… I need you… I can't survive without you… say you will live on for me?" Zell held her small hand tightly, as if trying to grasp the remnants of her life slowly slipping away.
She only shook her head.
That was the last thing she did, before a terrible stillness came over her, signaling the presence of the Grim Reaper.
He could not accept it… two of his most important people… taken from him in the same day…
It was like his worst nightmare come to life.
Even the hardiest of men could not withstand such trauma.
MA!!! CELESTINE!!! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO ME! WHAT DID I DO WRONG!!!
In the midst of his internal wailing, he stopped.
Wait a minute… something's not right…
I haven't had a chance to introduce Celestine to Ma yet… so how did Ma know about her then?
And if I remember correctly, we would have been at Angel Land right now, instead of Balamb Town
This must be the doings of that jerk.
"Elementary, my dear Zell Dintch." A person behind him spoke.
It was his shadow, of course.
"Who are you? How dare you impersonate me?" Zell displayed his fists at the shadow, ready for a battle if it should attack.
"I do not want to fight with you. I'm just here to make sure that you are good enough to take on Redrumiel."
"And if I wasn't?"
"Then you would have been locked in his jail for the rest of your life… or maybe I would be the one in place of you… holding your Celestine, enjoying the love she showers upon me… hehehehe." It gave an evil leer.
Zell took a swipe at it, and connected his fist solidly with its jaw.
"OWWW! I was merely joking! Can't you take a joke?"
"I can take jokes about anything else except her, you hear?"
"Chill out, dude! Have a hotdog at my expense." It offered a plate of Zell's favorite food to him.
Zell looked at it suspiciously.
"Don't worry, it isn't poisoned." It grinned back at him.
He felt as if he was looking into a mirror.
Grudgingly, he accepted the hotdog and bit into it.
"Pppppuuuuuhhtttttttooooooouuuui!!! Yuck! What kind of hotdog is this? It has a fishy smell!" He spat the piece of meat out immediately after tasting it.
"HAHAHAHA! It was actually made of Balamb Fish, not pork like your usual kind!"
"I have little time to waste with you! I'm going!" He went towards the front door of his house (not the one he came in by) but hesitated a little before turning the knob.
"What's the matter? Scared now, Chicken-wuss?" It imitated Seifer's drawl, which achieved little effect on Zell.
"That was just a scene you cooked up right? It doesn't happen in real life, does it?" He asked, for he still felt the aftereffects of seeing his Ma and girl dead hindering his steps.
"It will happen in real life if you don't hurry soon, you idiot!"
"Thanks." Zell grinned in response, and left the house in a hurry.
~Celestine Angelwing~
She stared up at the sign in front of her.
It read:
"In order to get out of here, you must be able to get through each room without losing yourself in it. Each room will be connected to another by a door. The number of rooms will change accordingly with your mindset, so the sooner you face up to them, the lesser doors you will encounter and hence a speedier time out of here.
The deeper you go into the hall, the more difficult it will be to get out of a room. It all depends on your will, and strength.
If you are able to pass the last door, then the rest, as they say, is history.
Good luck, for you will need it."
She put her hand on the first knob without hesitation.
I will not fail everyone. I will get through this.
What awaits our Celestine behind those doors, in the many rooms?
Some will tempt her away from the right path, while others will attempt to weight her down.
Can she make it past them?
What will be the most difficult task she has to perform by going through that last room?
It shall be revealed in the next chapter.
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A/N: Phew… I finally finished three-quarters of the maze of shadows. Yep… all this, and only three quarters through… cos don't forget we still have Seifer and Celestine's mazes which are unresolved. But not to worry, they will all come through, because without them the jerk will kill every single human in the FF8 world, and I will not let him do that.
CelesteSpring – Oh… you sacrificed sleep to read my fic? I'm too touched… And I'm sorry it's so confusing… *sigh*
Quistis88 – Yes… they're coming… and more… but only in the next chapter.
Soul of Flame – Well, you've certainly been very industrious with your reviews! I am terribly chuffed that you are back! Thought I had lost a reader there because of my needless ramblings, but it appears that those were empty fears… Weehee!! I wonder when you will get to this chapter… anyways thank you SO much for those reviews of yours… imagine seeing those all at once in your inbox (I saw four unread messges in my Lycos mail, and I was so surprised!) it really, totally, undeniably makes my day seem so much brighter! Everyone will understand this kind of feeling hehehehe… oops going on a crazy run there due to lack of sleep and caffeine.