Chapter 42 – Betrayal
A/N: Italicized Words in brackets denote Redrumiel's thoughts.
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"I remember now…" She nodded, a film of tears covering her wide, soulful eyes.
He gazed at her for a long time, unable to register that it was really her, talking to him in such tender tones in place of the aggressiveness she used to show him… as if he was a virus and she would have nothing to do with him.
For a moment, his demeanor softened, as he thought back to the times when they had shared every smile, laugh, and exchange of glances, basking in the sweet, blissful sensation that would envelop him whenever they were together.
But then, his expression hardened again as he thought of the way she had let him down.
"Even if you have remembered, it is still too late. I have already summoned the monster, which will kill all of your beloved humans, including the eight that you care so much for… and including the one that you risked your life so many times to protect. Like the way I had disposed of your human lover so many centuries ago. History will repeat itself, no matter where or when!" He let out a bitter laugh as the flood of memories came back to him again.
"He wasn't my lover." She responded without raising an eyebrow, a direct contrast against his agitated mien.
"Don't LIE to me! I saw it with my own eyes… the two of you… in bed together!" His voice had turned hoarse with the rage that burnt in his chest and seared his throat with its fiery flames.
"The boy… was my son. OUR son. He was the wonderful result of our union formed by the merging of the very best in us. The Creator merely gave him a different name… "Human". Otherwise, he was no different from us… except that the gift of flight was taken away from him. But instead, he was free to roam the lands, unlike we Angels, who had to return to our Land whenever our time was up. And from our son, many others were created, developing into the massive and glorious race that we see today, capable of so much… things that we would not have dreamt possible when he was first born. Have you forgotten that? Has your memory been so warped by the shadow that took over your soul…?
It was never me that you saw… but merely an illusion shown to you by the great evil that had chosen you for its slave. And you thought that I had betrayed you? You chose to believe it, rather than me? It hurts me beyond comprehension to know that!" She turned away and placed a palm on her heart, a futile attempt to soothe it.
"You lie! What illusion? Don't think that I am so easily fooled by a few words!"
"I suppose I cannot really blame you for diverting from the path. You have always been so kind, so pure at heart, protecting every flower, leaf, animal or even fly from harm with your grace and touch. And yet you have to see them suffer and killed because of natural disasters beyond our control, and you would say to yourself, and sometimes to me and Shin how good it would be if you had the power to protect everything. And you accepted the power offered to you by the dark, only because of the empty promises it held out to you. But you changed… no longer listening to me, or Shin. You refused to heed our advice, laying your trust completely in your new Master… who led you to believe that I was the one who betrayed you. But did you ever think of how I would feel when you accused me of cheating on you? WITH OUR VERY OWN SON? DID YOU?
But still… I forgave you… because I love you. I could not turn a blind eye on you, much as I wanted to. But I did not want to cause any more hurt than necessary… for my continuing existence will only bring you pain.
And so… I ended my life."
She closed her eyes, attempting to calm the turbulence that was going on a rampage in her… but she could only wince in pain as her ancient wounds opened up, one after another with the influx of memories that gushed into her mind.
"…… That… that can't be true…" Furhler (a.k.a. Redrumiel) initially refused to believe her words, shutting them out of his mind as thoroughly as he could manage… but his resolve was gradually eroded by a voice in his mind that kept telling him to listen to her.
"I do not expect you to open up to me so easily. Instead… let me show you what really happened, through my eyes. And you will see that I have never thought of anyone else… that no one could have replaced you in my heart."
She drew his head towards hers, and touched her forehead against his.
A warm light glowed from the point where their skin came into contact, signaling the transmission of images from one mind to the other.
~In Lilacea's mind~
When he opened his eyes, all he could see was the bright glare of sunlight illuminating everything in sight.
He had not felt so light-hearted in a long time… without the loathsome burden that seemed to follow him, like the darkness that enshrouded him ever since… he couldn't really remember when.
He was inside someone's body… a female one… and then he recalled that he was supposed to be inside Lilacea's mind.
He was able to sense her thoughts and her emotions… and right now, she was a very happy person.
Finally… I get to see him after so many days of separation… He'll be so surprised to see me! I wonder if he misses me as much as I did?
The woman skipped and hummed, acting so many years younger than her age… as if she was a kid on the way to a very grand birthday party with lots of presents, just for her.
Who is this 'he'? Probably her human lover… and she dared to say that she wasn't lying? He thought in an enraged manner, and wanted to pull out of the transmission without a second's delay.
However, something stopped him in his tracks.
For whom should she stop in front of, but a very much younger version of himself?
However, this version of him sported an aloof face... unresponsive to the happy smiles that the woman must have been showing him.
"Furhler… you're back! I missed you so much!" She said, and went towards him with her arms outstretched, evidently for a hug.
"Go away… I'm busy right now." The young Furhler spoke coldly, and turned away from her.
"But… darling… we haven't seen each other for such a long time…" Her lip started trembling, and she kept biting at it to stop its misbehavior…
He would be even more furious if I were to shed a tear… I mustn't let that happen… I do not like to see him in a bad mood. Nowadays… it seems that my presence only makes him irritated… I wonder what did I do to make him so mad at me?
"Didn't you hear a word I said? I'M BUSY! NOW FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO PLAY WITH! I DON'T CARE WHO!" He yelled at her, then turned his back on her again.
"I… I'm sorry…" She said in a small voice, and walked dejectedly away from him.
He did not run after her and apologize… unlike in their courting days when he would fall over himself to make her feel good.
I have a faint memory of this incident… indeed… my head was perpetually in a fog in those days… and I lashed out at everyone, including her. Admittedly… I have unintentionally hurt her at times… but that doesn't give her the excuse to cheat on me!
His self-righteous reasoning sounded weak even to himself.
But he could no longer find excuses when he witnessed what happened next.
The Furhler that she faced now was still younger, but his appearance had changed entirely.
The wings had turned black, as opposed to the originally golden feathers… his expression saturated with scorn, and not an ounce of benevolence reflected in his eyes.
"Don't try to deny it! Are you saying that I'm blind, or that I have mistaken you for somebody else? You know that there isn't a single Angel with blue hair for miles around, except for you! And it sure wasn't me you were holding in your arms, or I would surely have known, wouldn't I? Alright… if you insist on your innocence, tell me where have you been for the past two nights?"
"I was…" She hesitated for a little while, for she did not want to leak out the secret.
She had been planning hard for his birthday for two sleepless weeks… for she knew that he was constantly on the run, working himself too hard in order to fulfill his duties as a First-Line Angel… a huge responsibility, especially since he was now in charge of maintaining the natural balances of the geological world. She wanted it to be a surprise, to see the child-like gleefulness on his face when he saw what she had done for him.
But now… it had only led to a fatal misunderstanding… flamed on by someone who intended to harm their relationship…
"You can't answer me… which means you are guilty of infidelity! Where is that lover of yours? I will skin him alive if that's the last thing I'll do!"
Without waiting for a single word from her, he headed for what he had erroneously thought to be her human lover.
He sliced off his head without flinching for one bit… such a change from the one who could not bear to hurt a fly.
His heart had turned black, along with his wings… his conscience eaten by the shadow that lurked in his soul and devoured his willpower along with it.
She could scarcely bear the mutilation to her heart when she saw what had become of their son… and most importantly… what had become of Furhler.
"I cannot recognize you any longer… you are not my Furhler…"
"And neither are you my Lilacea. Do not let me see you, ever again." He snorted coldly at her, and strode away, leaving Lilacea on her knees sobbing as if the world had come to an end.
Indeed, her world had crumbled into nothingness… along with her son's life...
She could not stop the tears that kept flowing from her eyes… and then the well went dry, but the bleeding inside never stopped.
Her last thought before she jumped into the fiery pits of the Ruby Dragon Cave…
I love you… Furhler… but I can't live to see you pained because of me… so… farewell…
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"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Furhler yelled, forcefully ending the transmission by pulling his forehead away from hers.
He did not want to believe what he had just seen… no… he could not… he must not…
But he did.
For try as he wanted to, he could not break the link between her thoughts, and his mind when he was inside her memories.
And he had felt acutely, to the core of his soul… what she had been through.
All this while… he had thought himself to be the wronged one… the one with the right to vengeance.
But now… he realized that he had been treading on an empty path that lead to nowhere… that his basis for hatred was a false one… one that could no longer stand on its own reason.
That he was the one who betrayed, not Lilacea.
A devastating knowledge, to say the least… for he had built his life around this hatred… and now he had to accept the fact that it was groundless?
Then for what did he continue living? So that he could harm those that were entirely unrelated to the ancient debt that no longer existed?
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!" He let out a frustrated shout, one bordering on insanity, desperation, and despair.
"What can I do now? After so many centuries of hating… you tell me that it was all for nothing? That I was running around in circles like a fool? Why did you not explain yourself to me… and instead continued to let me harbour this hate? But all this while… I could not let go of my feelings for you… they were too deep… and I knew it all along… for the many times that I could kill the present you, I could not do it.
And because of my foolishness… I have harmed too many… the blood that I have shed… the sins that I have committed… I will be condemned to Hell surely for it… all these because I was too weak…" He fell to his knees, and wept into his hands like a little boy.
"Furhler…" She said simply, stroking his head and holding it to rest on her shoulder.
"I…I'm sorry…" His words were muffled into the crook of her neck.
"It isn't your fault any more than it is mine…" She whispered, still cradling his head gently.
"But it is… I have caused so many deaths… but I did not want it to happen at all… something took control over me… and I was too soft to chase it away…"
Suddenly, he lifted his head from its comfortable position against her neck.
"You've got to stop the monster… before it's too late!" He looked at her, wide-eyed with unease.
"But how?" She took a peek at her watch… fifteen minutes had passed!
"… There's only one way… and even that does not guarantee its downfall." He said in a brooding tone.
"What way?"
"By taking my life… for it is I who created it, and thus controlling its actions. But the longer it stays out there, the more power and control it gains over its body. You've got to hurry… or it will be too late to stop it!"
"I can't! How can you expect me to kill you?"
"Then don't do it. Let Celestine take over."
"What ARE you talking about?"
"The moment you ease back your past-life memories, she will come back. Trust me on this."
"I don't want to…" She protested, as any sound person would.
"LILACEA! The entire human race's future and wellbeing is at stake here! How can you be so selfish?"
What a refreshing change it would have been, if any of the SeeDs outside were to hear his speech then.
She still refused to do as he told her, setting her mouth at the ends in petulance.
"Don't worry… we will meet again, someday. The universe is a vast place… and who knows… in our next life I might be there waiting for you again… be good, Lilacea… let her come out so that I can teach her how to beat the monster."
She did not speak for a while… for it was hard for her to accept the sudden turn in events.
"Alright…" She closed her eyes.
When they reopened again, it was eminent who it was facing him.
"I saw it all." She said simply.
"Good. Then you know what to do." Furhler nodded with approval, and waited for her to make her move expectantly.
"I would rather kill myself… now that you are no longer the bad guy." She turned her eyes away to avoid looking at him… for the longer she stared at him, the sadder she became.
"But you know you have to do this… or there will be no hope in destroying the Ultimate Monster. Now stop wasting time. Your friends are waiting outside for you. The hope of everyone's survival lay in your hands."
"I'll make this quick and painless…" Celestine's voice was quivering… as was her palm as it readied itself for the fatal blow.
"Thank you." He nodded, and took a deep breath. "Strike at my left chest, where the heart is."
She raised her right palm, and exerted a strong beam from its core towards his chest cavity.
He fell upon the ground immediately.
She rushed up to support his body, letting it lay against her chest.
"That was fast…" He said breathlessly, then winced at his blatant attempt at adding humor to the situation, when in actual fact he felt like bawling his eyes out.
Be strong, Furhler. If you give up now, you will have to endure hours of teary farewells… and you do not want that, trust me...
He steeled himself for the final remittance of strength... before the fog in his head could take over his mind, and whip him off to the land of eternal dreams.
"Before I go… take this…"
He grasped both her hands in a tight grip, and transmitted all his energy from within into her bloodstream, where they were carried all the way to each and every one of her acupoints, where energy was stored.
"With my energy, and Lilacea's… you would be unbeatable… Too bad you couldn't get Shin's as well… for they were sealed inside his staff. If you can find it… even better…." He let out a series of coughs, spat some blood… and finally threw out his last breath.
He did not speak again.
She wanted to linger by his side… but she knew that time was running out.
Circumstances could be cruel at times like such.
While her heart was plummeting to the bottom of her feet, she had to keep going… to strengthen herself so that she could face the Ultimate Monster and prevent it from destroying yet more lives that have already been taken…
Farewell… I'm glad that I got to know you not as an enemy… but as a friend as well…
I know now… why Lilacea was so devoted to you, even when you had hurt her badly with your accusations……
Just then, a group of people rushed into the room.
"Celestine! Are you alright?" Zell was the first who ran in, gasping for a change of breath.
"I'm fine."
"What happened to him? I thought you said you weren't going to fight?" Seifer raised an eyebrow at the still body of Redrumiel.
"Long story. I'll explain when there's time. Right now, we have to stop the Ultimate Monster before all the cities are destroyed."
"Whatever you say, Ma'am!"
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Phewwwwwwww~~~!!!! That was one long chapter as well! A product of four hours of labour… hmmm four seems to be my standard time for writing a chapter. Anyways… hope it wasn't too confusing, especially the part where Furhler went into Lilacea's mind.
Next chapter, we shall have the final battle. Hurrays! And then the ending will come soon… double hurrays!! And I can spare you from the ever-continuing horror of the never-ending story… triple hurrays!!!! Kind of like Nightmare on Elm Street… never ending series, each getting more lame than the last… sorry if you're a fan of NOES… :p
Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
Celeste Spring: I'm glad you liked it! Actually I've had the concept ever since Redrumiel appeared in the story, but it didn't appear until now.
Quistis88 – Of course it was meant to be funny! No one in their right mind would name a chapter in that way… and be serious! Just the thought of it makes me want to puke or laugh… I can't decide. And I think I've had an overdose of sugar from your review… hand me the insulin, man! Hahaha just kidding. Thank you for your continuing support.
Prodigy – I've said it in my review to you, and I'll say it again. Welcome back! Booya! (Zell: Quit stealin' my line!!!) By the time you read this, I've probably finished the story… but I still want to thank you for your patience if you managed to read up to here. It must take a lot of endurance and resilience to wade through all those chapters.
To all the readers of this fic… especially those that reviewed… I am in awe of you! I do not know if I would have the same kind of ability to keep up with the story if I was in your shoes! Hehehehee thanks a bunch guys!
^_^x