CHAPTER 48 - …… *Sob!*
(This chapter is also known as "An utterly narcissistic chapter from yours truly, despite the fact that I do not want to be my alter-ego. Nuh-uh…)
WL: You will understand the title when you read the rest of the chapter.
Celestine: As though your readers would give a hoot about what your title is… just get on with it already.
WL: ……
Celestine: What… no rebuke? Someone's unusually quiet today. PMS, I presume.
WL: ……
Celestine: … Weird lily.
WL: Say all you want. After this, you won't have another chance.
Celestine: What do you mean?
WL: …….
Celestine: Argh! I give up!
This is going to be a loooooooong chapter. It breaks any records I have previously set on any other chapter. The total length spans six thousand words and more! I urge you to refrain from falling asleep while you read it, though I wouldn't be surprised if you did.
Words in brackets and italics like these refer to that particular person's thoughts, while plain italics refer to the internal conversation between Celestine and the other person.
* * * * * * * * * *
He walked into he large clearing in the forest, treading on a familiar path… the same that he had went through numerous times when the world was still a sapling, fresh from its birth from the Creator's hands.
And when he had been one of the First-line Angles, Lord of the AKU.
Now, stripped of his title and as well as his motive for revenge, he suddenly felt lethargic, but relieved at the same time.
He was ready to take on any punishment dealt out to him by Hyne.
Standing in front of the gates to AKU, he gazed long and hard at the intricate symbol and inscriptions carved on the massive, iron-cast doors.
"I've been waiting for you, Furhler." A figure emerged from the shadow of the willow tree that was rooted near the gates. "You took your time in coming."
"Shin… why are you here?"
"To offer you a lift to the Realm of Hyne's Light, what else?"
The Realm of Hyne's Light… also commonly known as Hyne's Celestial Gardens to the mortals.
Furhler knew that it was not a place he should go. It was out of bounds for the likes of a misled one such as him.
He shook his head sadly.
"I do not belong there."
"Furhler… Hyne is all-forgiving. She acknowledges your contribution in saving the world, and she welcomes you with open arms back to her light."
"My contribution, as you have put so kindly, was an exercise in futility in trying to save lives… for so many have died in my hands. It was nothing compared to my wrongful deeds. I thank Hyne for her magnanimity and grace, but I cannot justify my sins to myself, and the other Angels. I do not wish to bring uneasiness, and tension into Hyne's Realm with my presence… as would surely be the case if the Angels were to know that a traitorous one such as me was allowed in."
"But Furhler… nobody blames you for what you did. You were under influence."
"But nothing can excuse me. If anything, it was my weakness that led me astray from The Path. Why did HE not choose Lilacea, or you, or any other Angel, zoning in on me instead? Because I was the most susceptible to his influence! None of us can deny the glaringly obvious fact, the least of all myself!
And besides… I have unfinished business on hand."
"Unfinished business?"
"Preventing a similar fate from falling unto another Angel. Preventing him from further harming and misleading anyone else… and making sure he NEVER escapes from this prison.
The cost of my redemption… I have decided… is to guard this place for the rest of my after-life… until the day he disappears. If that means forever, then forever it shall be." He nodded at his friend, and turned back to touch lightly on the door.
It opened immediately, the hinges creaking with under-usage, to reveal the darkened surroundings within.
The door closed again, obscuring Shin's view of his old friend with a sound of finality.
Farewell, Shin
The ex-Lord of Angel stared at the door for a long time. The image registered in his mind was not that of the door, but of the turned back of Furhler… the last glimpse he had of his friend, one whom he had known since the day he came into the World.
He felt old… and lonely… an entirely new experience that was at the same time not undesirable… just new. For no longer had he to pretend that he was always the strong one, incapable of showing this other vulnerable side of him.
Farewell, Furhler. May we have the chance to meet again in another life……
* * * * *
~Balamb Garden Cafeteria~
12.10 pm (Lunch hour)
It was the peak period at every single Cadet and SeeD's favorite place in the whole of Balamb Garden… the Cafeteria. It had sealed its position as the favorite place with a polling done by one of the Ultra Heroines, Selphie Tilmitt, among the Garden's community. It had won almost a hundred percent votes except for one party-pooper, who voted for the main corridor instead. It was later found out that this particular Cadet was peeved at the Cafeteria's serving ladies for always selling out the hotdogs. (No, it was a CADET, not Zell.)
In the midst of the din made by the patrons at the counter, and those looking for seats, many eyes were drawn automatically to one very special table in the left corner.
It was the table where the famous Ultra Heroes and Heroines were having a mini-party of sorts, to celebrate the end of the AKUZOKSEI War and Celestine's recovery (This, in addition to the HUGE bash held in Deling just two days ago.) They were named as thus due to their selfless contribution during the war… adding on to the fact that some of them had defeated Sorceress Ultimecia as well.
Their table was actually made up of three tables joint together, with several foods of mind-boggling variety placed on them. Forming four impressive pillars at each corner of the "table" were piles and piles of hotdogs, ordered specially to cater for a certain Martial Artists' eating habits.
Waterlily set down a plate of sushi next to the long line of dishes that ran through the middle of the table.
"Here, that's the last of them… I made the sushi myself. Tell me what you think of it."
"Are you sure this can be eaten? Raw fish? On rice? That's the first time I've ever heard of such a combination! Will we get food poisoni…. Ooof!" Seifer was the first to start complaining, but was promptly stopped by an elbow to the stomach by Quistis.
"I'm sure it will be delicious. Let me try the greenish stuff first… it looks good."
"Wait… Quisty! That's not meant to be eaten alone! Here… let me demonstrate."
She placed the green glob of wasabe into a saucer of soy sauce, and mixed it around, took a piece of sushi, dipped it into the sauce, and stuffed the whole thing into her mouth.
"Mmmmmmm!" Her expression was one of contented bliss.
An acted-out kind of bliss… for she could not actually taste it, her mind was not exactly concentrated on her taste buds at that moment.
She stole a glance at Zell, who was pigging out on one of the hotdog towers, while a bemused Celestine looked on.
"LET ME TRY IT FIRST!" Selphie squealed, and proceeded to drench a piece of Balamb Fish Sushi in the sauce, making sure to get lots of the horse radish on her fish. She popped it into her mouth without a second thought, despite some uneasy nudging by Irvine.
Everyone turned to look at her, including the hotdog-stuffing Zell.
Her face turned green, then red, then white.
"It's HOT! Very hot! And salty!!! Gimme some fire extinguisher, quick!" Someone passed her a glass of soda, which she gulped down in quick succession.
"Phew…" She said, and stuck her tongue out to fan it.
"Wow… that was delicious! I want another!" She made a quick stab for another piece of sushi, to the amazement of everyone.
And they started thinking that maybe they wouldn't mind trying it.
Their reactions after tasting that harmless piece of food were so different that they might as well have been subjects of a science experiment.
Some thought it a whole new taste, like Selphie, while others looked as if they regretted trying it. Seifer spat it out immediately after putting it in his mouth, declaring it as inedible, even though Quistis was pinching him so hard that the skin on his hand had turned very red.
It would have seemed hilarious to Waterlily if she had not been in such low spirits.
"What's the matter? Why aren't you eating?" Celestine asked, noticing her paleness and reticence… which was out of place in the midst of the other's happy faces and boisterous behavior.
"Nothing… I don't have the appetite. Besides… I don't need any food for energy. All that goes into my mouth comes out whole… as if I'm a robot." She barely managed to squeeze a smile out for Celestine.
"What's wrong?" Celestine stared straight into the other girl's eyes, trying to find out by reading her thoughts. She had flung all of her reservations on reading other's minds out of the wind, for as far as she could have seen the problem plaguing Waterlily was far more serious than she was willing to let on.
But her mind was closed, and Celestine could not read a single thought out of it.
"I'm fine." Waterlily avoided her glance, and turned to look at the rest of the gang, silently indicating that she did not wish for them to worry.
Celestine opened her mouth, wanting to persuade her to talk… but was stopped by a voice that flashed through her mind.
Celestine… we've got to return to Angel Land for our meeting.
Already? What time are we supposed to gather at the Grand Hall?
One in the afternoon.
Gosh… we're short on time! Why didn't you say so earlier? We could have postponed the party to another date!
I've only just received the instructions. Now… we'd better leave if we don't want to be late.
Alright.
"Um… guys… I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but Damien and I have just been summoned for a meeting in Angel Land."
"What? But you must be present! You're the star of the party!" Selphie was the first to object, for she was the organizer, and she hated the thought that it would be stopped halfway.
"Yes, I'm sorry, but duty calls. Besides, you can continue. Zell will be my representative." She said with a cheeky smile.
"Mmmph?" ("What?") Zell mumbled, unable to manage any coherent word with his stuffed mouth.
"I'll be back in half a day. Maybe you
could save the cake and champagne for me when I return?"
"Alright then. But make sure you
return as soon as your meeting ends. A disrupted party's no fun at all."
Selphie grumbled, her face like a spoilt kid's.
"I'll stake my halo on it."
"Don't bet anything important… like what I did with my Strange Vision…" Selphie shot a baleful look at Quistis, who looked elsewhere, and around at the other SeeDs… as if it was none of her concern, and that she was not the culprit who forcibly took Selphie's weapon.
"Wait a minute… I thought you said Angels do not have halos, contrary to popular belief?" Rinoa was puzzled… she was sure she had heard it before.
Darn it…
"Ahh… I have to go now, really… see you guys later!"
She turned to Zell, and kissed his puffed up cheek.
"Keep an eye on Waterlily… she's doesn't look right to me." She whispered into his ear.
Immediately, he stopped chewing. His eyebrow raised a little, and he turned around to look at Celestine.
She nodded briefly.
"Bye everyone!" She waved at them, and proceeded to weave through the crowd in great speed, following the heels of the impatient Damien, who had already set off before her.
As the rest of the gang got back to their food, only Waterlily remained staring at the exit of the Cafeteria, even after she had gone through it.
Discreetly, Zell peeped at her, and found that Celestine was right. Now that he noticed… not only did she look washed out... She was acting strangely.
As if she was getting up any minute and running after them… but silly me! Why would she do that?
She stood up abruptly, to everyone's astonishment.
"Are you trying to make a speech, Waterlily?" Seifer joked.
"I'm going after her. Don't follow me!" She said, ignoring the perplexed faces around her, and ran towards the exit in pursuit of Celestine.
The seven people remaining at the table stared after her, stared at each other, then at the food on the table.
The sole thing on their mind was… how were they going to finish all the food?
Selphie, Irvine, Rinoa, Squall, Quistis and Seifer turned to look at Zell at the same time.
"What?" He blinked stupidly, not knowing what they were implying at.
"Hehehehehe..."
* * * *
Celestine and Damien stood outside the gates of Balamb Garden, which was currently situated in its original position beside Balamb Town, preparing to lift off for Angel Land.
Since Lord Shin's departure from the living World, their homeland had been leaderless, and thrown into a state of complete disarray. As such, the elders had proposed for a Meeting immediately after the defeat of the Ultimate Monster, for without a leader, they would not have been able to decide how they would deal with the Rebel Angels.
It was an unsavory title that had been pasted on those that had chosen to follow Redrumiel when he invaded Angel Land.
Angels could be a rather discriminating race when they wanted to be. Celestine knew that more than anyone else, for she had been a victim herself throughout her growing years as a result of her mother's past. Her mother had abandoned her and fled Angel Land when Celestine was just an infant, and this had been regarded as a huge disgrace by some of the hoity-toity Angels.
However, the Meeting was postponed, for Celestine had suffered from extensive injuries from the battle, and was bedridden for more than a week.
"I just don't understand! Why couldn't they have decided without my attendance? It's not as if I'm THAT important!" Celestine grumbled, but her scowl did not deceive Damien for a second.
He knew that she felt guilty about holding up the other Angels, but was too proud and embarrassed to show it.
"But you are important. Don't forget… you hold the power of AKU and SEI in your hands now."
"I don't care. I'd be happy to pass them down to the next Lord or Lady. Just as long as they don't say something stupid like asking me to be the One!"
She unfolded her wings behind her, flapping it a little cautiously at first to set the feathers in the right direction, and steadily increased the speed of the flapping. She was soon lifted off the ground by the propelling force of the wings.
I wouldn't count on that being a small possibility, if I were you… Damien thought to himself.
"Hold on… what's that look on your face for? You know something that I don't… spit it out!" She made a grab for him.
"Uh-uh… you'll eventually find out." Damien grinned mischievously, floating away from her before her arm could reach him.
Before she could further retort his words, a frantic voice called out, shoving the retort to the back of her mind, forgotten.
"Celestine, Damien! Wait up!" She cried, waving for them to stop.
They turned back to face the source of the voice in bewilderment.
"What's wrong, Waterlily?" Celestine asked in concern, for the girl looked terribly flustered.
"D…don't go… just yet…" Waterlily bent down at the waist with a hand upon her chest, trying to catch her breath from the strong exertions of her pumping heart.
"I'll be back in half a day's time. Can't it wait until then?"
"I wouldn't be here when you come back…" Waterlily blurted, and managed to stand up in an erect position.
"WHAT? Why do you say that? Stay there, we're coming down!"
The two Angels descended to the pavement, walking quickly up to her.
"Where are you going?" Damien asked in surprise.
"Back to where I belong… Earth. It is an alternative world from this one..."
"I've heard Redrumiel mention about this. But… what's with the hasty decision? Aren't you staying for Quis' wedding?"
"No… It would be too late then…" The reply was soft, as if it hurt her to say it.
A dreaded feeling stole over Celestine when she realized that she was about to face the parting with another close one.
Damien tapped her on the shoulder, signaling with a flick of his thumb that he would be waiting in another spot, leaving the girls to their conversation.
"If I linger too long in a place I do not belong in, my soul will dissipate, and someday, I will disappear into complete oblivion. And as you can very well see, I've been fading slowly… ever since the energy that you gave me wore off. I probably spent too much of it preparing that plate of sushi…" She grinned with effort, trying to pass it off as a real one.
"That can be arranged! We can make you one of us… at least you can try!" Celestine was getting desperate, grabbing at anything and everything that was a possible solution.
"You should know very well that being an Angel means much more than having a pair of wings and having a much longer lifespan than normal humans. It isn't easy to become one, by any count, due to the responsibility it entails. You should know better than suggest such a thing!
And I couldn't become an Angel anyway... not when I've committed suicide… not after all those people I've harmed…
Besides, my mere presence here defies all the laws of nature, physics, and what have you.
Just let me leave, okay?"
"But I don't want you to leave!" Celestine cried, grabbing Waterlily by the shoulder, but her hand went right through the shoulder, as though she was nothing but a holographic image!
"You see? This is what happens if I were to stay here. It hadn't been so noticeable just now at the Cafeteria… but of late, the feeling that my time is running out has been pressing upon me… I can't escape it anymore.
I know it's hard to accept, but this is something that'll happen eventually…" Despair punctuated her every word, filling in the little gaps between each pause. It wrenched Celestine's heart each time she detected its presence, and all the more it made her reluctant to let her go.
"You're leaving now? At least wait until I get back, so that we could send you off properly!"
"I can't stand teary farewells."
"Are you going to let Zell know?"
Waterlily turned silent. A dark cloud flitted over her face for a split second, but still Celestine managed to catch its trail as it disappeared.
"No…."
"Why not?" Celestine pressed on.
"I... I'm afraid…"
"Afraid of what? You have to see him. Are you really content to go without at least saying goodbye to Zell? I know that's not what your heart says."
"Why are you so insistent on this?"
"Because… it would be too sad if you leave without having a good talk with him. You have lots to say, but you've never had the chance… have you?"
And… I have to make up to you. The way I hurt you… tearing up the letter in a fit of jealousy even though I knew how it badly it would affect you…"
"But I'm not sure if I can hold on any longer… you saw it yourself a second ago… I'm not much more than a voice now."
I know… but it wouldn't make any difference, whether it was torn or read by him. At the end of it all, it is you he loves. Not me… And I don't need any more reminders.
A pang struck Celestine in the chest… indeed, love was not always a beautiful thing. It would always bring unhappiness in some form, especially the unreturned kind.
She understood… but she still could not accept it easily.
Celestine grasped her hands the best that she could, which was like trying to hold air in your hands, a rather difficult thing to do.
A warm glow started transferring from Celestine's palms to Waterlily.
Gradually, she retained her appearance, her face fleshing out first, followed by the rest of her.
"There, much better! At least you don't look so pallid now!" Celestine studied her face with an appraising look.
"You're too good to me… I don't deserve it at all…" Waterlily turned away, partially from embarrassment, partially to conceal her reddened eyes.
"Silly girl…" Celestine ruffled her hair, and gave her a tight hug, trying not to show her sorrow, but failing miserably with her shaking arms.
"I'll miss you..." She squeezed her just as tightly, not caring that the feathers on the Angel's back were tickling her arms with their soft brushing against her.
"Me too…"
"… You should get going… It's late…" She reminded Celestine gently.
Celestine released her reluctantly.
"Will we meet again someday?"
"Maybe… I believe so.
For my bond with this world, with you, and with everyone else, ~and with Zell~
is too strong to be broken, just like that.
Who knows? I might be come back as your daughter… although I'd rather not, Hehe…" She tried to lighten the atmosphere with a forced smile, betrayed by the clear film that was obstructing her vision.
Celestine played along with her… she could not bear to spoil the other girl's painstaking effort.
"Hey! I'll have you know that I have all the fine qualities a good mother should possess!"
"I can imagine that you and Zell's babies must be the cutest in all the three dimensions combined. Now… I think Damien is ready to blow his top if you let him wait a second longer!"
"But…"
"Oh for Hyne's sake, no more buts!
Take care of yourself. I know I will."
"You need not remind me." Celestine started walking towards where Damien stood, trying not to listen in on them, but succumbing to temptation.
The whole time she walked, she kept glancing back at Waterlily, as if her head and the rest of her body were unconnected, having a will of its own.
"Bye…"
"Bye… Waterlily…" Everything that she had held back before came rushing at her all at once, her eyes brimming full with a fresh wave of tears as she waved at her.
"I said, I hate teary farewells."
Even as she spoke, her own cheeks were as wet as Celestine's.
The Angel turned towards where Damien stood, and lifted above the ground before her unwillingness to leave could hinder her flight.
"Farewell, Waterlily." Damien squeezed a small smile at her, and turned to join Celestine in the air.
It would have seemed rather callous of him to be so abrupt, when this was really the last time he would be speaking with her…
If Waterlily had not caught the barely visible trembling of his lip, she would have been bitterly disappointed.
She only nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
Farewell to you too… I've been blessed to have known two such wonderful Angels in my pitifully short, yet sin-ridden life. My memory of you shall be one of the most precious treasures I've ever possessed.
As she watched them flying towards the horizon, her arm did not stop waving even after they disappeared into the clouds, long gone from her line of vision.
* * * * * *
"I…I didn't want this to happen, Damien! Not so soon…" Her voice was choked up, coming out in a disjointed way.
"I know… I don't want it this way too… but this is what you have to face, cos no one will live on forever, not even us."
"Will we ever see her again?"
"The Universe is vast, the running of time a never-ending cycle. Someday, we will all gather again, if only you stay true to your feelings, and if you are patient enough. Dry your tears… save them for later, for we have a meeting to attend."
There was no answer from Celestine.
She was busy wiping and willing away her tears… she knew that Damien was right, that they would meet again… that this farewell would not last forever…
And that they had an important meeting to attend.
What she didn't know that it was one that would affect the rest of her life as Celestine Angelwing, changing it drastically.
But first…
* * * * * *
Zell Dintch lay with his legs and arms stretched out in four different directions on his bed, while giving a big sigh of satisfaction. His stomach looked like a balloon filled to the brim with air, looking as if it would burst with the slightest movement.
He started dozing off, the drowsiness an after-effect of his heavy meal.
Zell… Zell! Do you hear me?
He bolted upright at the sound in his mind, and winced in pain as his stomach obstructed his sudden action.
Celestine? What's the matter?
Waterlily… she's leaving today!
His eyes widened at her words, dispelling any trace of sleepiness from his mind.
WHAT?
I want you to give her anything she asks from you. Even if it means… sleeping with her.
But Celestine… I can't...
No buts!
How can you ask me to do such a thing so nonchalantly?
I want her to go with at least some part of her wishes answered… is that so much to ask for? Of course I mind, to some extent… but my desire to do something for her overrides everything.
Alright… but I'm not happy about this.
Believe me… you'll feel the same as I do when the time comes. I have to go now. Make sure you do what you promised me, or I won't let you off easily.
He leant back on his bed again, using his arms as a pillow while staring up at the ceiling.
She's leaving…
And I have to…
Damn you, Celestine! Why do you always throw such sticky situations for me to handle?
* * * * * *
She stood in front of the metallic door, agonizing over her indecision to knock.
On the other side of the door was the source of her fretting, pain, and all that was dominating her mind at that very moment.
The one she had fallen for immediately after from the first time she set her eyes on him, since her arrival upon this world.
"I can't do this…" She whispered to herself, and turned away, preparing to leave… defeated by her fear of facing him.
Whether by coincidence or other doings by Hyne, the door slid open with a whooshing sound, revealing a surprised Zell.
"I thought there was someone out there! You were looking for me, Waterlily?"
"It's nothing… don't worry about it, Zell." She said, still with her back turned from him.
"Wait! Since you're here, you might as well come in and tell me what it is!" He went up and grabbed her hand, leading her into his room, not noticing the slight jolt she gave when his hand touched hers.
She let herself be dragged into his room.
I guess… I can't escape it any longer.
"What's up? I haven't spoken much with you ever since we came back form the Battle, all of us busy with clearing up the mess left by the Monster and the Underground Army."
"Nothing much." She replied, staring fixedly at him.
"Is there something on my face?" He started touching it, puzzled by her unwavering stare.
"No…"
"Ha…" Zell scratched his head, not knowing what to say, while Celestine's words kept encircling in his mind.
An uncomfortable silence came over the room, and neither of them said a word, Waterlily still staring at him, while Zell was, well, getting stared at.
He let out a feigned cough, trying to break the awkward atmosphere in the room.
"So… what did you want to see me about?"
"…say Goodbye…" Waterlily whispered, tearing her eyes away from his face.
"Say again?!"
It sounded so faked in his ears... his attempt to conceal that he had known about her desire to leave. And it was only then that it fully hit him upon the head. She was really leaving, when it had seemed nothing more than an abstract concept before.
"I came to say goodbye… I'm leaving today."
"Why? Where are you going?"
"I'm returning to where I belong… to the original world I came from."
"B…but why so soon…. So sudden?"
"I should have left from the time I jumped off from the balcony and had my brain crushed beyond recognition… but I couldn't… cos you were all so kind to me, forgiving me even after all I've done…"
"But that wasn't your own doing! And haven't you made amends for it by allowing yourself to become a research subject, and from there produce the cure for the virus? How about the time when you saved the world alongside us? Quisty told me that the only reason you were fading so fast was because you had given her most of your energy! Don't be too hard on yourself… everybody makes mistakes some time, even Angels!"
"Two rights do not rectify a wrong… and my wrongs were much more than I care to count for. Will my attempts at redemption bring back the Head-Master and your Matron?? I know some still look at me with hatred for killing them, manipulation or not… I'm not mature enough to face that kind of looks directed at me all the time!
And besides… there are only so many times Celestine can maintain my appearance with her energy transmission. It's better that we follow what path Hyne has set out for me. And that is… to leave with dignity.
I am a coward. I'd rather prefer to go peacefully, than drag it out and suffer… I hope you'll understand, Zell."
"My mind tells me that I should respect your decision…
But I can't… accept it just like that!
We've only just come in terms with the sheer numbers lost during the AKUZOKSEI Wars… and now you come and tell me you're leaving as well?
It isn't something I can brush off lightly.. NO!
I can't just write off your loss as one of the nameless faces that went away during the War… it's you… Waterlily… someone irreplaceable…"
"I'm sorry… I really am.
I wished that things didn't turn out this way too.
But even if the War had not happened, I couldn't have stayed here for an extended period... I would have to leave eventually.
It's only that Hyne has decided to bring
the time forward."
This time, it was his turn to be
silent, turning his head away, and clenching his fists, trying to clamp a lid
on the turbulence raging on in him.
Waterlily wanted to lift a hand up, to touch his shoulder, but was held back by an invisible force… a force she did not have a name for.
"Believe it or not, I like you. I really do. I'm not saying this to keep you from leaving… just that I've never had a chance to tell you." He turned back to look at her, his eyes shining with sincerity.
She gave a resigned smile, and a shuddering sigh.
"But you don't love me…
And this liking that you hold for me… it is something shared between two very good friends.
It is the same as what you feel for Quisty, Sefie, and Rinny."
He could not dispute her words…
She was right. They both knew it.
"But… thank you, Zell. It is the most wonderful parting gift you could have ever given me."
"If only I wasn't the one you loved… you would have saved yourself a lot of heartache…"
"But I don't regret it. I'm glad… it had made me recognize that in there was someone out there that was more important than myself… a possibility that never crossed my mind before. It frightens me…. But at the same time, I've never embraced 'life' so fully… well life in a figurative sense anyway.
Now cheer up. You wouldn't want Celestine to see a droopy face when she comes back, ne?"
He continued gazing at her forlornly despite of everything she had said… and it broke her to see him like this.
"Don't pull that on me! If you want me to be happy, give me one of those sunshine beams of yours. Beam me up, Zelly!*"
He hesitated for a moment, and compelled his mouth to turn up at the corners, then bared his teeth to complete his grin.
But it was a strange one by all standards, all crooked and unsteady.
"It doesn't reach your eyes! You look like Redrumiel for Goodness' Sake!"
His eyes brightened a little in response to her criticism.
"That's better! Much better!" Waterlily nodded with approval, while trying to give him a grin of her own.
"Is there anything else I can do for you? This offer has a really short expiry date, you know? Make full use of it."
"No… well actually… but… oh I don't know. Forget I said anything."
"Tell me." Zell insisted, his tone telling her that he would not allow 'No' for an answer.
"C…can I borrow your back…. a…and your shoulders for a second?"
He did not make any reply, his body stiffening up at her request.
She could visualize that last strand of hope she had held shatter into countless pieces.
"If it makes you uncomfortable…"
"It doesn't." He cut in. "I was only thinking that you asked for so little, when you could have anything you wanted…"
"More?"
"I thought…" His cheeks colored with a bright crimson as he thought of what Celestine had told him.
I thought she would ask me to… It's all Celestine's fault! Giving me those funny… ideas…
"Zell… are you alright? Why is your face so red?"
"No, I'm fine. Here… my back and shoulders are at your disposal. You may do anything you want with them, for as long as you want."
"T...thanks." Her voice was cracked, making a simple word dreadfully difficult to say.
Tentatively, she went up to him, gazing for a long time at his back… an image already imprinted in her like a permanent tattoo. And yet, she never got tired of seeing it…
She placed both her hands on his arms, and pressed her face into his shoulders.
She had always imagined how it would feel if she had a chance to touch him in this way, to lay her face upon his back, forgetting about everything else that went on around them.
In the stillness of the air, the only sounds heard were their breaths, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling… synchronized by no intention of their own.
When he first felt her face upon him, his chest ached in a peculiar way… aching for the way her hands, though strong in grip, quivered every so slightly.
Then the sobs came, soft at first, becoming slightly more audible as the seconds ticked by. He knew she was trying to control them. Perhaps she did not want him to be distressed by them… but knowing that she was still trying to protect him even while her heart was in tatters… it made him feel even worse.
Something moist started spreading on his shirt, at the place where her eyes would be.
He lifted his left hand, and touched the palm grasping on his right arm.
It shifted a little in his hold at first, and then lay still, allowing the warmth from his hand to travel to her skin.
"Thank you… Zell.
I will never forget what you've done for me.
Even though you may not feel the same way as I do, I still would have chosen to love you if I were to given another choice by Hyne."
He could not speak, his throat held back by the turbulence that had been residing in his chest, now rising up to his mouth.
His eyes reddened, heating up at the edges. The floodgates upon his tear glands opened, allowing a clear line to flow from his left eye.
"Goodbye, Zell. Take care of yourself, and take care of Celestine as well.
I wish you and her eternal happiness."
The pressure on his back eased up little by little. Her sobs became fainter, until they were nothing more than a memory in his mind.
He could not turn back, his feet rooting to the spot, body as stiff as a plank of wood.
He could not bear to see her vanish, bit by bit before his eyes.
Then, the room was empty except for him; the only sound that remained was his own breathing.
Her presence completely disappeared. There was no trace that remained, as if she had not been in his room at all, as if it was nothing more than a dream… except for the wet patch between his shoulders.
He whipped around, regretful now that he did not turn around and look at her for one last time, or bid her farewell when he could.
Sure enough, she was gone.
* * * * * *
*"Beam me up, Zelly!" was a variation of the famous "Beam me up, Scotty!" from Star Trek, so of course I do not own it. I think the meaning is a little different, but I like the way it sounds.
Author says: OH.MY.HEAVENS. That was sooo long. Now I feel really stupid.
The only reason why my alter-ego was given such a meaty role was… I had visualized that last scene between Zell and Waterlily sometime during the third chapter of this fic, (as well as set the mood for the next chapter… one with even worse news). I know that the third chapter was a long long time ago… well relatively speaking for this fic anyway. And I couldn't get rid of it! So I had to write this… plus it was connected to the picture I had for part of the prologue. And there you have it, the first of the four-part ending.
So next, I'm going to have to ask you… what kind of wedding would you prefer for Seifer and Quistis?
1. A traditional church wedding
2. A wedding held at sea on board a ship.
3. One that is held on Balamb Garden, going around the world during the ceremony.
4. One aboard the Ragnarok.
5. Others (Please specify.)
The subsequent chapter shall not be written until I've had enough feedback, so the speed which I update lies with you hahahhahhaa.
Next, please allow me to applaud you, all of you who have read up to here. First of all…
Prodigy: YOU ASTOUND ME! Have I said this before? It doesn't hurt to say it again. Man, man, man, a real record destroyer! (The previous holder was Soul of Flame). I think it will remain unbroken. This guy read FIFTY CHAPTERS in one day, and updated his fic as well… OH.MY.GOD. I can't stop gushing about it. *Bows for two hours consecutively*
Oh… I'm back. Ok… you mentioned something about sticky plot points. I'd like to know what they are, cos I want to rewrite this fic until it is as mistake-less as possible. As for grammar mistakes, I would appreciate it if you highlighted them to me as and when you come across them, cos I'm a perfectionist when it comes to those. (I thought that I had corrected all of them, but I guess sometimes these things just escape my scattered brain). If the review page isn't enough, send me an email.
Soul of Flame: Don't worry, even though your record was broken, it doesn't replace your number one reviewer status in my mind… in fact, there are no number twos. I place equal value to all reviews. Damn, I'm rambling. Thanks for your kind words! I was really happy when you said my battle scenes were good (right?) cos they aren't exactly my strong points. And I enjoyed reading your "Return of Ultimecia."
Celeste Spring: Hah… thanks. It never fails to lift someone's spirits when you say she's improved. But if I need any further improvements, tell me (as you've been doing all this while).
Vikki: Ah, you flatter me so with your compliments! *Floats above the ground doing an ecstatic dance* Thanks to you, I had a very nice morning after reading that review!
Quistis88: Wahahah… thanks for your reassurance (that it turned out okay). About the Angelo Combo… I suppose it depends on your luck, but don't worry, someday you'll be able to see loads of Wishing Stars and Invincible Moons, until you can memorize the effects. (I have NO idea what I'm yabbering about.)
Anime-Diva: Thank you! Actually I get most of the inspiration for battle scenes from Mangas and Animes… all because of the ever-absent muse. But sometimes even that will run dry, meaning I should read/watch more of those! Another excuse for me to indulge in my second biggest obsessions, hahahaha.
Jengab057: Thanks for your concern! I have been sleeping lately, but it dries up my brain cells, so I'm in a real dilemma here. Just kidding.
Paris: By the time you read this, maybe I would have finished the fic. (I dare not say it so confidently, now that someone has made me eat my words previously.) But even so, I would like to thank you for your patience. It's hard when you have lots to catch up, I've experienced that myself. Here… as a reward… *presents her with a bouquet of water-lilies* (Hmm… when had I done this before?). But there's always a sense of achievement when you manage to catch up, isn't there?