Chapter 49 Grey Skies
A/N:
First of all, I want to apologize. SORRY!!! I don't want to make any more excuses for myself. Scold me for taking THREE WHOLE WEEKS TO UPDATE ONE MISERABLE CHAPTER!
(Celestine: Yes, you're a certified idiot. Everyone knows that.)
I've been prone to doing things on impulse lately… must have been the saturation of Dintch poison in my veins.
(Zell: Hey! Don't blame yer own stupidity on me!)
Anyways… I wish some of that impulse could have been applied to my muse as well, but he seems to have been in a comatose state for a long time now.
(Muse: Hey! If you insult me further, I shall go into permanent hibernation!)
Don't they sound alike to you?
By the way, despite of all that was said last chapter, methinks the wedding chapter would have to be moved to the next chapter, but don't worry, I'll try to update fast.
Without further ado, I bring you, the second part of the four-tier ending.
P.S. Italics represents flashbacks, while italics within brackets like these are Celestine's thoughts. (Damn… something happened to my italic formatting!!! Now most of it is gone. But when you see a it refers to Celestine's thoughts. Flashbacks are denoted by a wriggly worm in front. ~flashback~)
* * * * *
"Miss Angelwing…" said someone some male in the background. She had not the slightest idea who it was.
* * *
~And the Final Room Guardian said,
That's what I would call distracting, compared to what's-his-name. Little surprise considering the Final Guardian has my wondrous voice… but I wish she would stop right now!
"Now you will face your hardest decision.
Ihaveagoddamedmigraine.
It will not affect your chances of getting out of this door, since this is already the final one. But it will affect the path you take when you step out of this room, into the real world. So choose carefully."
Choose carefully… *snort* As if I can do it any other way.
The three dimensions are in a chaos after the departure of Lord Shin, and the responsibility is now upon you to decide the world's fates, for only you have the ability to inherit the Ruler's Staff.
ME? Why me? Why not Damien? Why not one of those pompous elders? Why bestow this oh-so-grand honor upon me, the perpetual rebel of the rules? Because my hair is blue? Talk about hair-color discrimination! Those old fogies must be outta their minds…
Which of the following would you undertake?
1. Accept Lord Shin's power and become the ruler of the Angels under the guidance of Hyne. You would have to give up the freedom you now have to roam the human lands freely, but on the other hand, the World is ensured of a stable future, and you shall continue to extend your lifespan for a few more centuries, or even millennia.
YEAH RIGHT.
2. To pass on your powers despite of the lack of worthy candidates. As such, you ignore your responsibilities as an Angel, throwing the entire world into perilous danger in exchange for a few measly months of short-lived and self-deceiving 'bliss' with your human lover. Short-lived, because the passing on of your powers to someone incapable of bearing them shall have serious repercussions upon your life-force.
… For a strange reason, I'm tempted to take you up on that offer, just to see your reactions. But wait, it ain't so bad by itself.
Your decision?"
Celestine stared at her in incredulity.
"HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO MAKE THIS KIND OF DECISION? This is an unreasonable, if not impossible situation… I refuse to take this test as I do not see any purpose in answering it."
I still refuse to answer it… but you just had to force it on me, hadn't you? Sitting there smug as the cat(s) that ate the canary.
"You will take it, or you will not leave this place. And believe you me - every test you take is meaningful, even though it does not seem that way now."
Bullshit. It appears just as meaningless now as it did then. It's not going to change anytime soon, maybe never!~
* * *
"Miss Anglewing… Are you hearing a word we're saying? Would you give us an answer then?"
"ABSOLUTELY NO FIGGRIN' WAY AM I GOING TO AGREE TO THIS! IT'S RIDICULOUS EVEN TO THINK ABOUT!" She yelled right into the row of wrinkled faces before her, flinging out her many years of pedigreed upbringing out in the wind.
"Miss Angelwing! Please try to compose yourself! It is improper for a young lady such as you to speak in such uncouth language!" An old woman with a severe expression stared at her in consternation, appalled by her choice of words.
"I couldn't care less about manners! Not when you throw such a ludicrous proposition in my face! Why are you so shocked then? Did you expect me to meekly do your bidding like some brain-washed Angel? If that's the case, you're barking up the wrong tree!"
"Believe us, Miss Angelwing. We would not approach you with such a plan – one of such importance that it shall affect the entire world in the biggest way imaginable, without running through it with a fine-toothed comb first. And it is the only way out as far as we can perceive - no question about it." The leader of the group spoke up, addressing her with a little less disapproval in his tone, but was no less sterner in his approach.
I know what you're implying, you old fart. "We wouldn't ask you to do it if we had any other choice either." You don't fool me with your phony 'respectfulness' for one second.
"I need time to think it over." Her lips were pursed, indicating in no uncertain terms that she would not have it any other way.
Despite her less-than-favorable attitude towards the Elders, she could not simply wash her hands off the situation. This wasn't some petty family dispute! It was….
Whymwhymewhyme! What did I do to deserve this?
….the lives of billions of people, animals, creatures, and anything else that lived and breathed in their world at stake. Whether to thrive or flounder was decided upon with a simple shake or nod of her head, unwilling as she was to accept such a huge responsibility.
Me! Decide on somebody else's fate! What an impossible thought hahhahahahahahaha. I must be going quite mad.
"We'll give you up to ten days in SEI, or the equivalent of roughly five hours up here in Angel Land to decide."
"Fine. I'll have my answer ready then."
"Please make haste, Miss Angelwing. We can't hold out for much longer with our current situation. Already those new admissions in AKU are fidgeting for escape. If not for Furhler's watchful presence, they would have run loose long ago."
"Furhler? What's he still doing here?"
"He has taken a vow to stay vigilant at the gates as repentance for his deeds."
"……"
"Let me remind you, Miss Angelwing, you're the only one who can uphold the position. Even the Lord's Staff has spoken, and chosen it owner."
"I KNOW!" She yelled at them, then coughed in an awkward manner when she saw their shocked faces, for most of the lower-ranked Angels would never dream of raising their voices at them.
She muttered a soft apology, and started to pace away from the council of Elders to a secluded corner of the hall. She tried to get a hold on her thoughts, which were running like a crazed bull in her mind, refusing to release her from the ring of pain that was tightening by the minute around her skull.
Celestine cast a wearied glance at the staff in question. It had been floating aimlessly in the air, twirling around and searching for its next rightful owner. But from the moment Celestine stepped into the hall, it cut across the space between itself and her, stopping right in front of her. Its 'actions' had made it clear to all and sundry that she was the one who should inherit it from Lord Shin, barring her from moving away whenever she tried place a distance between the staff and herself.
Why did it choose me anyway? Not like I'm the one with the highest rank! If this is about my hair again, I swear I'm going to shave all of it off!
' It's not about your hair; I can assure you of that. Rather, its color is only a consequence of the real reason, and not the root of it.'
She stared at the staff in astonishment.
Whoever thought that a staff could talk?
'Surprised? Don't be. I was already around before I was a staff, but that's not an issue here.
But that doesn't explain why it can read my mind like I do others! I resent that!
'Resent for all you like. That's not going to change anything.'
Say all you want, but that's not going to stop me from leaving! Get out of my way before I trample you to death!
'I'm not going to stop you… I KNOW that you will eventually return to me, no matter how resistant you are now. Because you're the only vessel with the capacity to contain my glorious power. As soon as you recognize the truth of my words, you will be unable to act as unmoving as you are now.'
Only one only one! I'm sick and tired of having people say that to me all the time! Why me!
'Because you were born with it. Face it. You're stuck with me until the next worthy successor comes along. Then you can try to transfer ownership. But I can't guarantee any chances of success.'
Damn… how long will THAT take?
'Depends on your luck. Maybe forever.'
She could just imagine an "evil" smirk on it, if it had any expression at all.
She had to forcibly stop her hand from reaching out and smashing it to smithereens, just to chase its annoying voice away. A voice that was grating on her nerves, tearing away at her thinly-stretched patience, and one millimeter short of pushing her over the edge into screaming lunacy.
'Uh, uh, uh… I wouldn't even attempt doing that if I were you. What makes you think that the legendary staff held by THE Lord Shin would be so easily breakable? You'll only succeed in attaching yourself to me. And for your information, I never let go. Ever. Then you wouldn't have a chance to even think it over, although I seriously doubt there's any other choice.'
The glare she directed at the impossibly obnoxious Ruler's Staff was harsh enough to fry everything in its path to a crisp… except for the offender itself.
Let's see if you'll still be so full of yourself in five hours' time! Either way, I'm not letting you off easily!
The Staff did not respond to her threat, casting suspicion in her mind that it had not caught it, or had chosen to ignore it.
'You already know the answer. It has always been part of you, part of your lifelong mission as an Angel, only you are refusing to accept it now. I do not blame you for being unsure, for indeed it is not an easy thing to do.'
When it saw that Celestine was silent, contemplating its words silently, it seemed to let out a sigh, and continued preaching to her.
'You can think it over for as long as want. You must only agree to inherit me and Shin's power when you are fully convinced of your willingness, and ability to hold it. Otherwise, it would be as good as passing it on to someone unworthy, a disaster in the making. But keep this in mind: Broken hearts can be healed, strong affections washed away with the same tides of time. But lost lives can never be recovered, no matter what amends you may try to make.'
She looked up at it, startled speechless by its words.
Wise words indeed to have come out of something which was a mere object in her eyes.
'You see the path. Now you have to walk through it.'
"Shut up." She growled, stalking out of the hall in a flurry of swishing white robes and flying locks in her wake.
The Council of Elders stared after her, stunned by her unannounced (and improper) exit and blatant display of disregard for them… and yet they could not do anything about it, for she was to be their future leader.
"Celestine!" Damien ran after her, worried that she might do something foolish out of impulse… like disappear. He tried calling out to her telepathically, but there was a wall, almost solid in its intensity, that barred the entrance to her mind against his cries.
When he reached the gates leading out of Angel Land, she was nowhere to be seen, just as he had feared.
"I should have warned her!" He shook his head in self-reproach, for he had known beforehand that the Elders were deciding to place more responsibility on her…
But not so soon, and to such drastic extents!
And now they were compelling her to leave the SEI, in order to take up the position as The One. Most of all, she had to leave… Zell.
Damien had been too blind to see this coming.
Or even if he had seen it, he had been too cowardly to tell her. And now she had a complicated dilemma in her hands. A dilemma that was more difficult, the results yielding more impact, than any she had ever faced before.
And he could not help her, not even a smidgen of it.
He wanted to chase after her, make sure she was alright. It was the least he could do.
Just as he prepared to swoop out of the gates of Angel Land, he was barred by a mist so thick that he could not see through it, even with his empowered vision.
The clouds changed color, transforming from fluffy cotton-puffs to heavy, grayish ones, saturated in their fury and threatening surface.
As if it was a warning from her to him not to follow.
The clouds split open, pelting sheets and sheets of needle-like rain upon the grounds below, the gloomy splish-splash sounds accompanied by the deafening and heart-thumping cracklings of thunder. Blinding yellow streaked diagonally across the sky, posing a "Do-not-trespass" warning to those who dared to travel under, and across the skies.
He gave up trying to follow her into the clouds. For he knew where, and for whom she would be heading towards.
"Let the storm past, and the grey skies blow over… and hope for a better day when it passes, if only to see the rainbow at the end of the storm." He whispered, praying forlornly that she would not get hurt or lost in the storm outside, and the one in her heart.
* * * * *
She gazed upon his sleeping face, almost childlike in its innocence and relaxed demeanor. A faint line traced from the corner of his left eye, down that side of his face, ending at the jaw.
He was curled up in the fetal position on the sheets, hugging his bolster tightly.
He was hurting, this she could see as much. He always slept in such a position whenever he could not face something, and resorted to sleeping his troubles away, which had a touch of logic to it… for sleep had always been a natural recovery process to all species, human or otherwise.
She was suddenly envious, and inexplicably, angered by the relative ease with which he handled his emotional distress. But she could not hold that kind of thought for too long.
She traced the line with a trembling finger, the touch so slight that the surfaces of their skin barely touched. She remembered performing a similar gesture on him some time ago… when she had yet to become his girl, and was still an Angel bound to him, when she had still addressed him as her Master.
The situation then was alarmingly similar to what she faced now… so much that it spooked her.
But it was fundamentally different as well.
This time, she had a choice.
She could prevent history from repeating itself, save both of them from the inevitable heartache that comes with parting. Or at least, she could hold it back a few months, give themselves some time…. To get used to each other's absence.
She couldn't be blamed too much for not thinking about the rest of the world for just this once, could she? After all the times she sacrificed her own needs for the good of others, what would this one time count?
You're wrong. It may be only one time to you, but it's the only time for the rest of humanity for a chance at salvation… A little someone said, the sound so tiny that it was all but drowned out by the rest of her thoughts.
The sleeping "beauty" stirred, letting out a small groan, and rolled onto his back.
He stretched his arms high into the air, straightening his muscles out of their stiffness while stifling a huge yawn. He opened his eyes, and was mildly surprised, yet pleased to see her.
"Hey, babe." He greeted her, but eyes widening at the sight of her dripping hair and soaked clothes.
"Why are you drenched from head to toe? You're gonna catch an awful cold if you don't get yourself dry! Here, let me fetch you a towel!"
She let him fuss over her, patting her dry with the towel, changing her out of her clothes as she stood as unmoving as a plastic doll.
"What's wrong, Celestine?" He asked, worry clouding his brow and tone.
"Nothing's wrong." She refused to elaborate further, even when she knew how unconvincing it sounded.
"Yeah… and Squall is a cross-dressing extrovert with a fetish for lace." He retorted, drawing a soft smile from her. "No, really, tell me what's on your mind. There should be no secrets between us."
He cradled her face in his palms, gently, endearingly, as if she were as easily breakable and priceless as a delicate Ming Vase.
Should I tell him? But it only makes my decision harder than it already is…
"It's… just some problems I encountered at the meeting. I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me, Zell." She sighed.
"Poor girl. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?"
He places a finger on her forehead between her brows, trying to smooth away the line etched between them.
"I'm sure, sweetie. But thanks for offering." Stop treating me so well…it breaks my heart, it does…
"You're really acting weird today! But I suppose I can't blame you… I'm not feeling peachy either."
He bit on his lip, trying to keep the ends of his mouth upturned into a small smile.
I wonder how he will react if I tell him…
Wait! What am I saying? It's not as if I've already decided… not as if I'm actually… leaving…
"Celestine?"
Oh… who am I kidding?
"On second thought, a hug would be nice." She conceded to the temptation of being held in his arms, at a time when she craved for someone's loving touch to smooth over her wounds, and the wounds that she was about to inflict upon herself from the moment she decides to martyr-ise herself again.
And who better to give her that touch than her darling Zell?
Upon her words, his tentative smile turned into a full-fledged grin, and he held his arms wide open, preparing to accommodate her in them. She snuggled like a kitten in a warm blanket against his chest, placing her chin on his shoulder and staring into the space behind his back. Her face was curiously blank, when previously she would have been practically mewling in contentment.
Unseen by him, as she kept staring into the dimness of the unlit room, her face was rapidly streaked with tears. She made no sound, nor did her body move in the slightest manner to reflect her anguish, but the pressure just kept piling and piling in her chest, with no alley for release as far as she could see.
The pressure upon his back where her arms were grasping increased, causing sharp pain to shoot up his nerves. But he did not pull away… for it seemed to him that she was especially clingy today, and he didn't mind it at all.
He patted her on the back, puzzled with her behavior… and puzzled with the strange sense of forbidding caught in his chest like a breath of stale air.
Gradually, the weight upon his shoulder became heavier, as if her body was leaning on it.
"Celestine?" He peered worriedly at her when she did not move for a long time.
Supporting the girl with an outstretched arm, her cheeks now dry with evaporated tears, he saw her eyes closed, her breathing peaceful, while a thin line of drool was running from the side of her mouth down her chin.
"Man… you're salivating on my shoulder!" He spoke in mock annoyance, but received no reply except for a few snores from his Angel.
Shaking his head in amusement, he lifted her gently off the ground, and laid her in his bed, taking extreme care not to wake her up while he crept in beside her and pulled the sheets up to their chins.
From the fuzzy vision of her half-closed lids, she took in the contours of his face, his jaw, the curve of his sensitive lips, the length and curl of his eyelashes, every detail of his tattoo… permanently etching each of these into her mind.
I want to remember, everything about him. I will show everyone, and most importantly myself, that memory will not fade, that broken hearts may not necessarily heal, love will not be watered down, even with the passing of time. I will show them that even though I become the Lady of Angels, I shall continue to preserve my feelings for him. For I am Celestine Angelwing, and I refuse to stick by the rules…
* * * * *
Phew. I hope you could understand what was going on. And I hope I wasn't too 'preachy', cos some people find that a turn-off. And yay, there ends the second of four part ending.
In no order of merit I wish to thank:
Prodigy: Wa hey! I liked both your stories very much, especially the Quifer. Thanks for your reviews, and thanks especially for that free advertisement on your bio page. I will say this as many times as necessary.
Quistis88: You know, you gave me a very good suggestion for Quisty's wedding, only you won't be seeing it this chapter… sorry ;( Because I didn't want to rush it, you know? It is after all THE wedding of the most popular coupling among FF8 fans (in my opinion anyway).
Celeste Spring: (Stares at her in astonishment) Whatever gave you the idea that Waterlily was a nice girl, by any counts? Ok, joke aside, I'm glad that she was able to milk (mooo~~~) some sympathy from you, cos I enjoyed writing her into the story. Gets me more involved,, you know. So in a way I don't mind her label as a Mary Sue… she's been doomed to become one since she was first introduced anyway, bless her wretched soul.
(WL: And whose fault do you think it was?????)
As for anime… I can't exactly say which one inspires which scene, but I can recommend a few series for general viewing and references (how pompous!).
Fushugi Yuugi (Or Curious Play) is great for power effects and alternative world/inter-dimensional travel. It's about this girl who gets sucked into a book and becomes a Maiden there (sounds like a familiar plotline to me.)
Shadow Skill is great for its battle sequences, and the setting is rather similar to the one in FF8.
Rurouni Kenshin or Samurai X is my all-time favorite. The main character is about a Japanese assassin hailing from the Tokogawa Era. I like it for its way-cool sword fights and Zen-like concepts. It also has the most impressive graphics, and a sad story. You should check out the respective websites (there are tonnes of those!) for more details. I think there's even a video game for RK!
Soul of Flame: I like long reviews. Please write more… and thanks for saying that I write beautifully. You flatterer you! *Blushes wildly* LOL
Anime-diva: I like mush too hehehe but sometimes it's hard to get the mush to flow smoothly, especially when the muse is taking a vacation. And my fic isn't better than yours! I believe each writer has his or her own strengths, so I don't usually grade them like "This one better, that one worse." (Unless there's no plot… but that's another matter altogether.) And Quifers rule, yeah.
Vikki: Hey, thanks! I think I mentioned before that I like knowing that I've improved! (Everybody does, duh.) And you suggestion gave me yet another flush of ideas. I think I'm going to do a wedding with different locations… but I'm not telling which, cos y'all can probably guess some of it. The question is… how do I go about describing it? But because of your continuing support, I will push myself harder! *Grunt grunt!*
Before I go, here's a word from my sponsor (naaaah… just joking):
If you are a fan of FF8 and role-playing, you will luuuuurve this site! Visit it for the ultimate experience in role-playing in the FF8 world now!
(Zell's already taken by me, and so are most of the main characters. But you can make up your own if you like! It'll be fun! Come join!)
The layout's easy for navigation, the background totally cool, there's even music to greet you when you visit the pages! You can shop at the weapons and item shops, visit Balamb Garden, the various towns in FF8, and even chat out of character when you feel like airing some views. Value-for-time is guaranteed.
(That's it! I don't want to sound like a god-dammed brochure or trailer! Just sign up for goodness' sake! LOL)
Here's the link:
===== www.avidgamers.com/FF_8/index.
I'll paste the same link on my bio page.
Cheers! That's all for now. Have a nice weekend ahead!