(2) Hearts Divided
Carter's face was stony and expressionless as he stood by the window in the doors, watching but not seeing. Abby paced the corridors nervously, muttering to herself.
"What if she's - ?" Carter began in a voice that lacked emotion.
"She's not, she's going to be fine," Abby cut him off with a voice that had so much emotion that it was barely under control and on the verge of hysterical. She carried on pacing.
Susan Lewis concentrated hard on the task at hand; trying to blot out the fact that this was her best friends' daughter and that she, too, had emotional ties to her. She tried to forget that this was the same baby that smiled at her the previous morning; she was a patient, one that needed help. If she thought too much about her anxious friends waiting and the pressure put on her then she might have just left the room to comfort them instead, when what they really needed was her medical help and not her emotional support. But it was hard to work when she looked at Nathalie's face and thought of the bright green eyes behind the closed eye-lids, complete with long delicate eyelashes.
"Shut up, Susan," she muttered to herself. "Shut up and work."
* * *
Susan took off her gloves and put them in the bin before leaving the room.
"Is she dead?" Carter asked her, mechanically. Susan looked a bit surprised at his lack of emotion and straight to the point attitude. He seemed to have no problem saying the 'D' word which most anxious parents couldn't force themselves to say.
"No, but she's not great." Susan told them.
"Thank God," Abby whispered. Susan raised her eyebrows; well maybe worry does strange things to people.
"We'd like to keep her overnight for observation and in the morning we're referring her to a cardiologist," Susan continued. Abby bit her lip but Carter just nodded numbly, as though he was being given instructions on how to work his microwave. "We'll put her in Exam 4 and you two can sleep overnight."
Nathalie, who was now sleeping, was wheeled out and Abby rushed to her side, walking along as the gurney was pushed. She stroked her face and turned to Susan with shining eyes.
"Thanks, Susan," she said, with a sad smile. Susan smiled back, looking around for Carter; Abby needed comforting, where was he?
"Oh, it's ok, Abby," she sighed and hugged her friend. "It's ok." This was what a husband was for, not just a friend.
When they got to Exam 4, they found that Carter was already there, standing expectantly with his arms folded, as though he wanted no physical contact. Two thin mattresses and blankets were brought in and laid next to each other on the floor.
"If you need anything," Susan told Abby. "I'm here until six in the morning, ok?" Abby nodded and thanked her again as Susan left, closing the door behind her. The first thing Abby did was pull up a chair next to Nathalie's bed and sit by her. The first thing Carter did was lie down on the far mattress.
Abby stroked Nathalie's small hand which had returned to its original colour and kissed her cheek.
"You'll be ok, baby," she whispered in the dark and quiet room. "You'll get through this." She glanced at Carter.
"John?" she began.
"What?" he sounded annoyed.
"Don't you even want to come and see if she's ok?"
"She's not ok." He answered, shortly. "Did you not hear Susan?" Abby bit her lip and said nothing. He waited for an answer, but didn't look at her. Soon he heard her sniff and immediately felt annoyed that she should be crying.
"Go to sleep, Abby," he instructed. He turned his back to her and faced the wall, glaring at the white paint. She wiped her eyes and kissed Nathalie once again before quietly making her way to the mattress. She sat down and looked at his back.
"John?" she whispered.
"What?" he sounded even more exasperated. Her hand hovered over him before she retracted it. She wanted him to hold her and kiss her and promise her it'll all be ok, but he was doing exactly the opposite. She needed him to comfort her but it seemed he had already given up on their daughter and she was now alone. How could she put that into a sentence?
"Nothing," her voice came out as barely a whisper.
"Go to sleep," he repeated in a dull voice. She lay down, obediently and cried softly, hoping he wouldn't hear her.
Carter tensed his jaw and clenched his fists. He could hear her and she wasn't helping. God, why won't she shut up and let him sleep? Soon she did drift off to sleep, but it was from this night onwards that the nightmares would attack her and the Carters wouldn't have a good night's sleep for days to come.
Carter's face was stony and expressionless as he stood by the window in the doors, watching but not seeing. Abby paced the corridors nervously, muttering to herself.
"What if she's - ?" Carter began in a voice that lacked emotion.
"She's not, she's going to be fine," Abby cut him off with a voice that had so much emotion that it was barely under control and on the verge of hysterical. She carried on pacing.
Susan Lewis concentrated hard on the task at hand; trying to blot out the fact that this was her best friends' daughter and that she, too, had emotional ties to her. She tried to forget that this was the same baby that smiled at her the previous morning; she was a patient, one that needed help. If she thought too much about her anxious friends waiting and the pressure put on her then she might have just left the room to comfort them instead, when what they really needed was her medical help and not her emotional support. But it was hard to work when she looked at Nathalie's face and thought of the bright green eyes behind the closed eye-lids, complete with long delicate eyelashes.
"Shut up, Susan," she muttered to herself. "Shut up and work."
* * *
Susan took off her gloves and put them in the bin before leaving the room.
"Is she dead?" Carter asked her, mechanically. Susan looked a bit surprised at his lack of emotion and straight to the point attitude. He seemed to have no problem saying the 'D' word which most anxious parents couldn't force themselves to say.
"No, but she's not great." Susan told them.
"Thank God," Abby whispered. Susan raised her eyebrows; well maybe worry does strange things to people.
"We'd like to keep her overnight for observation and in the morning we're referring her to a cardiologist," Susan continued. Abby bit her lip but Carter just nodded numbly, as though he was being given instructions on how to work his microwave. "We'll put her in Exam 4 and you two can sleep overnight."
Nathalie, who was now sleeping, was wheeled out and Abby rushed to her side, walking along as the gurney was pushed. She stroked her face and turned to Susan with shining eyes.
"Thanks, Susan," she said, with a sad smile. Susan smiled back, looking around for Carter; Abby needed comforting, where was he?
"Oh, it's ok, Abby," she sighed and hugged her friend. "It's ok." This was what a husband was for, not just a friend.
When they got to Exam 4, they found that Carter was already there, standing expectantly with his arms folded, as though he wanted no physical contact. Two thin mattresses and blankets were brought in and laid next to each other on the floor.
"If you need anything," Susan told Abby. "I'm here until six in the morning, ok?" Abby nodded and thanked her again as Susan left, closing the door behind her. The first thing Abby did was pull up a chair next to Nathalie's bed and sit by her. The first thing Carter did was lie down on the far mattress.
Abby stroked Nathalie's small hand which had returned to its original colour and kissed her cheek.
"You'll be ok, baby," she whispered in the dark and quiet room. "You'll get through this." She glanced at Carter.
"John?" she began.
"What?" he sounded annoyed.
"Don't you even want to come and see if she's ok?"
"She's not ok." He answered, shortly. "Did you not hear Susan?" Abby bit her lip and said nothing. He waited for an answer, but didn't look at her. Soon he heard her sniff and immediately felt annoyed that she should be crying.
"Go to sleep, Abby," he instructed. He turned his back to her and faced the wall, glaring at the white paint. She wiped her eyes and kissed Nathalie once again before quietly making her way to the mattress. She sat down and looked at his back.
"John?" she whispered.
"What?" he sounded even more exasperated. Her hand hovered over him before she retracted it. She wanted him to hold her and kiss her and promise her it'll all be ok, but he was doing exactly the opposite. She needed him to comfort her but it seemed he had already given up on their daughter and she was now alone. How could she put that into a sentence?
"Nothing," her voice came out as barely a whisper.
"Go to sleep," he repeated in a dull voice. She lay down, obediently and cried softly, hoping he wouldn't hear her.
Carter tensed his jaw and clenched his fists. He could hear her and she wasn't helping. God, why won't she shut up and let him sleep? Soon she did drift off to sleep, but it was from this night onwards that the nightmares would attack her and the Carters wouldn't have a good night's sleep for days to come.