This fanfic contains Yaoi content. (lemon in later chapters) It also
alludes to rape, brief mention of drug use, a little bit of naughty
language, and some self-violence. You can't say I didn't warn you!
Having been threatened and complimented highly, I will post another chapter for you. ^_^ * loves on everyone who has reviewed her, cause she has gotten ALL great reviews from everyone *
Diclaimer: Blah blah blah Yu blah yu blah Hakusho blah blah blah, etc, and so on, and so forth...
----------------
"Mmm Keiko... I knew you'd see it my way..."
Yuusuke lay tangled in his sheets, mumbling in his sleep as he had a wonderful dream. The window in his room, which his bed was positioned directly under, opened quietly, allowing a cold breeze to flow into the room. Yuusuke rolled over at the disturbance.
"They're just as big and soft as I imagined!" he exclaimed foggily in his sleep, his hands reaching for imaginary breasts.
"Ow! Keiko! Stop! I'm sorry, I'll never try that again... what the... Who the hell is stepping on my head?!" he woke with a start, realizing Keiko wasn't attacking him after all. There was only one demon bold enough to clammor over him like that in his sleep. And that demon...
"Hiei," Yuusuke groaned and pushed the smaller demon off of him, yawning largely. He glanced at the clock and moaned in a tortured manner. "It's only 11:30! Don't you know the sun doesn't rise till noon?" he complained.
...it had been such a good dream. Keiko's sexy uniform had just been unbuttoned and...
"You died," the demon said suddenly, slowly.
"Yes. I did. Before we met," Yuusuke confirmed, eying the demon warily.
Hiei frowned in thought, looking at the floor. "How did you come back?"
"A kiss from my love," he replied, narrowing his eyes.
"Hn," the demon stated, and was gone, the curtains on his open window rustling with his unseen passage, the demon gone before he could blink.
Yuusuke threw himself back onto the bed, frowning at the ceiling. That demon was taking Kurama's death too hard. He was starting to worry. Yes, he himself had come back, but while Shuuichi's track record was spotless, Kurama's was the subject of much controversy. There was no way Koenma would let him... Hiei had to move on.
-------------
"So who does Kurama truely care for?" Hiei thought to himself, staring at the motionless redheaded fox.
"The youko Kurama cared for no one," he mused, "but after he became a human... who does Shuuichi care for? Shiori would have been the obvious answer... but she died in that wreck two years ago. Yuusuke? Kuwabara? He cares for them... but not that much, I don't think. Not enough... Me? No... It's all my fault that he's here to begin with... he couldn't care for someone who's practically killed him that much..."
He looked at the fox, lips pursed, eyes narrowed in thought. "Hn... Fox? Don't you care for anyone?"
--------------
"Botan, just take me!" Kurama shouted at the blue fairy, grabbing her shoulders roughly.
"I c-c-can't, Kurama!" she said pleadingly, trying to brace herself against the shaking.
"Why not? What did Hiei say? His threats are idle!"
"He... didn't tell me anything," she said grudgingly.
"What? Then take me! He's torturing himself!"
Botan stomped her foot and pushed Kurama away. "If I take you, Hiei will die. If you don't find your way back into your body, Hiei dies."
Kurama stared at her, his knees feeling weak. "Why...?"
"I've got the paperwork. His death pends on yours. If he can't save you, he will realize how much he cares for you, blame himself for your death, and slit his wrists for the final time. If you want to save him, you both have to realize your true feelings for each other, love thus breaking the hold death has on you, and you have to do it by midnight tomorrow!" Botan huffed at how blind they were and hopped on her oar, flying out the window. Kurama's knees gave way and he stayed there, watching with tears in his eyes as Hiei entered where Botan had just departed from.
"Why, Hiei?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The same dreams. Every night.
There was the screaming, the anger, the crying. He was being thrown from the floating city.
But the dream began again.
The hateful screams began again.
His mother wailed, Yui gave him the teardrop, just like always in his dreams, and he was lifted, about to be thrown.
And someone snatched him.
A snarling, silver-haired youko held him protectively against his chest, challenging the ice demons to come any closer. He stepped back, and jumped from the island quite suddenly, cradling the baby Koorime comfortingly, and landing on his feet lightly, safely.
Golden eyes flashed.
~ ~ ~
His clothes were being ripped off, men crowded all around him. He started to scream again, and was silenced by the sight of a thorny whip cracking just above his head, slicing in two every man in the clearing. A flash of vibrant red hair showed through the trees, and he squinted, trying to discern the visage of his savior.
~ ~ ~
Hiei sat in the bathroom of the club, watching his own blood run from his wrist, pooling abundantly on the ground. He gasped as the background turned completely white, and a thin, pale, long-fingered hand snatched his wrist, pulling it up to meet the scrutiny of gold eyes.
"Why?" the tall youko growled, healing the wound swiftly with his own spirit energy. He'd always been too late to heal it in real life, the wound having already started to heal whenever he'd find the small demon.
Hiei hissed, struggling against the hold.
"Tell me why you do this to yourself!" he growled, grabbing Hiei's other wrist and wrenching it into the air, holding both arms above the small one's head. The smaller demon gave in, going limp against his hold.
"I must be as cold as ice," he replied dully.
~ ~ ~
Kurama watched the dreams raced on as they were wrenched out of his grasp and raced on with their normal pattern again.
He couldn't put his own memories into Hiei's subconscious, could he? If he could effect the dreams like he already had, it might work...
~ ~ ~
Hiei lay sleeping on his bed, bandages covering his arms, tubes hooked up to him. He had a hospital nightgown on. He was in the hospital where Kurama had picked him up that last time.
Kurama sat by his still form, tears running down his face as he regarded the small demon. Pale from blood loss, eyes sunken.
Kurama's fingers were brushing the other's cheek before he realized what he was doing.
Hiei's eyes snapped open.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, eyes narrowed.
"Examining a small scratch, Kurama lied, turning quickly and hiding his tear streaked face.
The Koorime's skin had felt so good.
The scene froze and Kurama cursed, thinking his memory had lost its place in the fire demon's dreams.
Hiei's eyes snapped open as he spoke, no part of his body moving anymore.
"When I feel, I can be hurt. When I bleed... my pain goes away, like it's flowing away with the river of blood..."
Kurama's head whipped around to regard the demon, eyes narrowing at the continuation of the earlier explanation.
"I never used to feel so much. I'd made an icy blockade around my heart. I couldn't feel... only in my dreams..."
Kurama's hand stretched out towards Hiei's pale face...
"I never felt so much pain... not until Kurama and Yukina came along."
~ ~ ~
Kurama felt himself being pulled along into another memory...
~ ~ ~
They were at the gate... Hiei stood uncertainly, holding a single blue tear gem in his out-stretched hand. Yukina was smiling encouragingly at him, urging him to accept it.
"If I ever find my brother," she said, looking him in the eyes, "I hope he is just like you!"
Hiei couldn't find the words to speak. He stared at her. Did she know? He almost felt he could tell her, but then he couldn't protect her if his Jagan was gone...
His eyes glazed over as the scene froze, and he spoke mechanically, the image of his body merely a carrier for the subconscious thoughts that flowed from his lips.
"So close and yet so unobtainable. I really don't hate Kuwabara. It's just, he almost makes me want to tell her, Jagan be damned. But how can an oaf like that really take care of her? If I let him take her completely, I cannot protect her anymore. I know she doesn't really hate me... but I almost wish she did. I can't grow any weaker, or I'll tell her. And if anything happens when I can't protect her myself... I feel she should hate me, for her own safety..."
A flash of green eyes in the background. Hiei's eyes trained themselves on the familiar orbs.
"And then there was Kurama..."
~ ~ ~
Green eyes blinked foggily at Hiei in this dream. The fox had such pale skin now. His bones were so prominent...
"You're not really awake yet, are you?" Hiei asked quietly as the eyes slid shut once more, Kurama's head settling back into the pillow.
"Dying for me. I'm not worthy of this sacrifice..." Hiei murmured.
Kurama knew where this dream was leading, and he took control, desperate to set this thought straight.
He got up, walking over to Hiei, wrapping his arms around his neck.
"I thought you were dying for me, Hiei, and I was doing everything I could to try and convince you that you didn't need to die for me to notice your needs." Kurama explained, looking down at him.
Hiei looked up into his eyes, and shoved the redhead away.
~ ~ ~
"Whenever I start to feel, I have to stop it. If I feel too much I become weak, vulnerable. Just as I let down my barriers to you, you feel the need to push more down," Hiei lay curled on a background of darkness. Kurama stood over him.
"Hiei, there are people who love you here. Don't you love them?"
"No one loves me in any of the worlds."
"What about Yukina?"
"Yukina is searching for a brother she will never find."
"Hiei! She has to suspect! You are TWINS."
"She hates me."
"She loves you just as much as she would her own brother. Just because she got mad at you once does not mean she hates you."
Hiei stared off into the darkness.
"And what about me?" the fox asked quietly.
"What about you?" the demon snapped.
"I care for you too."
"You're dead. I can do nothing to save you."
"I could still be saved... At least you have Yukina..." he said slowly, watching Hiei's face. The smaller demon's face closed up, unreadable. Kurama sighed.
"...but now I know. There really wasn't ever any hope, was there?"
Hiei looked up at him.
"Hiei... talk to Yukina. That's my last wish before I die. Tell her you're her brother. Don't hurt yourself again... at least not until Yukina tells you what she feels for you as her brother."
"You're really going to die?" Hiei asked, watching the fox guardedly.
"There's no one here to hold my soul down," he said, smiling sadly.
Hiei watched him for a moment, and then disappeared into another dream. Kurama stood staring into the darkness for a while and disappeared from the subconscious of his long-time friend, sighing.
"Ai Shiteru, Hiei... I wish... I wish I could have saved you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurama sight and looked up at the clock as he escaped the dreams of his friend. He looked at the clock. 10 hours to go. He looked down at Hiei's sleeping form and settled down for a nap.
---Okiedokie y'all! How'd you like that chapter? The next will come later. Sorry the format different, but I'm having to type it in wordpad instead of on Word, and there is no auto wrap. Laaaaaame. Review!
Having been threatened and complimented highly, I will post another chapter for you. ^_^ * loves on everyone who has reviewed her, cause she has gotten ALL great reviews from everyone *
Diclaimer: Blah blah blah Yu blah yu blah Hakusho blah blah blah, etc, and so on, and so forth...
----------------
"Mmm Keiko... I knew you'd see it my way..."
Yuusuke lay tangled in his sheets, mumbling in his sleep as he had a wonderful dream. The window in his room, which his bed was positioned directly under, opened quietly, allowing a cold breeze to flow into the room. Yuusuke rolled over at the disturbance.
"They're just as big and soft as I imagined!" he exclaimed foggily in his sleep, his hands reaching for imaginary breasts.
"Ow! Keiko! Stop! I'm sorry, I'll never try that again... what the... Who the hell is stepping on my head?!" he woke with a start, realizing Keiko wasn't attacking him after all. There was only one demon bold enough to clammor over him like that in his sleep. And that demon...
"Hiei," Yuusuke groaned and pushed the smaller demon off of him, yawning largely. He glanced at the clock and moaned in a tortured manner. "It's only 11:30! Don't you know the sun doesn't rise till noon?" he complained.
...it had been such a good dream. Keiko's sexy uniform had just been unbuttoned and...
"You died," the demon said suddenly, slowly.
"Yes. I did. Before we met," Yuusuke confirmed, eying the demon warily.
Hiei frowned in thought, looking at the floor. "How did you come back?"
"A kiss from my love," he replied, narrowing his eyes.
"Hn," the demon stated, and was gone, the curtains on his open window rustling with his unseen passage, the demon gone before he could blink.
Yuusuke threw himself back onto the bed, frowning at the ceiling. That demon was taking Kurama's death too hard. He was starting to worry. Yes, he himself had come back, but while Shuuichi's track record was spotless, Kurama's was the subject of much controversy. There was no way Koenma would let him... Hiei had to move on.
-------------
"So who does Kurama truely care for?" Hiei thought to himself, staring at the motionless redheaded fox.
"The youko Kurama cared for no one," he mused, "but after he became a human... who does Shuuichi care for? Shiori would have been the obvious answer... but she died in that wreck two years ago. Yuusuke? Kuwabara? He cares for them... but not that much, I don't think. Not enough... Me? No... It's all my fault that he's here to begin with... he couldn't care for someone who's practically killed him that much..."
He looked at the fox, lips pursed, eyes narrowed in thought. "Hn... Fox? Don't you care for anyone?"
--------------
"Botan, just take me!" Kurama shouted at the blue fairy, grabbing her shoulders roughly.
"I c-c-can't, Kurama!" she said pleadingly, trying to brace herself against the shaking.
"Why not? What did Hiei say? His threats are idle!"
"He... didn't tell me anything," she said grudgingly.
"What? Then take me! He's torturing himself!"
Botan stomped her foot and pushed Kurama away. "If I take you, Hiei will die. If you don't find your way back into your body, Hiei dies."
Kurama stared at her, his knees feeling weak. "Why...?"
"I've got the paperwork. His death pends on yours. If he can't save you, he will realize how much he cares for you, blame himself for your death, and slit his wrists for the final time. If you want to save him, you both have to realize your true feelings for each other, love thus breaking the hold death has on you, and you have to do it by midnight tomorrow!" Botan huffed at how blind they were and hopped on her oar, flying out the window. Kurama's knees gave way and he stayed there, watching with tears in his eyes as Hiei entered where Botan had just departed from.
"Why, Hiei?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The same dreams. Every night.
There was the screaming, the anger, the crying. He was being thrown from the floating city.
But the dream began again.
The hateful screams began again.
His mother wailed, Yui gave him the teardrop, just like always in his dreams, and he was lifted, about to be thrown.
And someone snatched him.
A snarling, silver-haired youko held him protectively against his chest, challenging the ice demons to come any closer. He stepped back, and jumped from the island quite suddenly, cradling the baby Koorime comfortingly, and landing on his feet lightly, safely.
Golden eyes flashed.
~ ~ ~
His clothes were being ripped off, men crowded all around him. He started to scream again, and was silenced by the sight of a thorny whip cracking just above his head, slicing in two every man in the clearing. A flash of vibrant red hair showed through the trees, and he squinted, trying to discern the visage of his savior.
~ ~ ~
Hiei sat in the bathroom of the club, watching his own blood run from his wrist, pooling abundantly on the ground. He gasped as the background turned completely white, and a thin, pale, long-fingered hand snatched his wrist, pulling it up to meet the scrutiny of gold eyes.
"Why?" the tall youko growled, healing the wound swiftly with his own spirit energy. He'd always been too late to heal it in real life, the wound having already started to heal whenever he'd find the small demon.
Hiei hissed, struggling against the hold.
"Tell me why you do this to yourself!" he growled, grabbing Hiei's other wrist and wrenching it into the air, holding both arms above the small one's head. The smaller demon gave in, going limp against his hold.
"I must be as cold as ice," he replied dully.
~ ~ ~
Kurama watched the dreams raced on as they were wrenched out of his grasp and raced on with their normal pattern again.
He couldn't put his own memories into Hiei's subconscious, could he? If he could effect the dreams like he already had, it might work...
~ ~ ~
Hiei lay sleeping on his bed, bandages covering his arms, tubes hooked up to him. He had a hospital nightgown on. He was in the hospital where Kurama had picked him up that last time.
Kurama sat by his still form, tears running down his face as he regarded the small demon. Pale from blood loss, eyes sunken.
Kurama's fingers were brushing the other's cheek before he realized what he was doing.
Hiei's eyes snapped open.
"What are you doing?" he demanded, eyes narrowed.
"Examining a small scratch, Kurama lied, turning quickly and hiding his tear streaked face.
The Koorime's skin had felt so good.
The scene froze and Kurama cursed, thinking his memory had lost its place in the fire demon's dreams.
Hiei's eyes snapped open as he spoke, no part of his body moving anymore.
"When I feel, I can be hurt. When I bleed... my pain goes away, like it's flowing away with the river of blood..."
Kurama's head whipped around to regard the demon, eyes narrowing at the continuation of the earlier explanation.
"I never used to feel so much. I'd made an icy blockade around my heart. I couldn't feel... only in my dreams..."
Kurama's hand stretched out towards Hiei's pale face...
"I never felt so much pain... not until Kurama and Yukina came along."
~ ~ ~
Kurama felt himself being pulled along into another memory...
~ ~ ~
They were at the gate... Hiei stood uncertainly, holding a single blue tear gem in his out-stretched hand. Yukina was smiling encouragingly at him, urging him to accept it.
"If I ever find my brother," she said, looking him in the eyes, "I hope he is just like you!"
Hiei couldn't find the words to speak. He stared at her. Did she know? He almost felt he could tell her, but then he couldn't protect her if his Jagan was gone...
His eyes glazed over as the scene froze, and he spoke mechanically, the image of his body merely a carrier for the subconscious thoughts that flowed from his lips.
"So close and yet so unobtainable. I really don't hate Kuwabara. It's just, he almost makes me want to tell her, Jagan be damned. But how can an oaf like that really take care of her? If I let him take her completely, I cannot protect her anymore. I know she doesn't really hate me... but I almost wish she did. I can't grow any weaker, or I'll tell her. And if anything happens when I can't protect her myself... I feel she should hate me, for her own safety..."
A flash of green eyes in the background. Hiei's eyes trained themselves on the familiar orbs.
"And then there was Kurama..."
~ ~ ~
Green eyes blinked foggily at Hiei in this dream. The fox had such pale skin now. His bones were so prominent...
"You're not really awake yet, are you?" Hiei asked quietly as the eyes slid shut once more, Kurama's head settling back into the pillow.
"Dying for me. I'm not worthy of this sacrifice..." Hiei murmured.
Kurama knew where this dream was leading, and he took control, desperate to set this thought straight.
He got up, walking over to Hiei, wrapping his arms around his neck.
"I thought you were dying for me, Hiei, and I was doing everything I could to try and convince you that you didn't need to die for me to notice your needs." Kurama explained, looking down at him.
Hiei looked up into his eyes, and shoved the redhead away.
~ ~ ~
"Whenever I start to feel, I have to stop it. If I feel too much I become weak, vulnerable. Just as I let down my barriers to you, you feel the need to push more down," Hiei lay curled on a background of darkness. Kurama stood over him.
"Hiei, there are people who love you here. Don't you love them?"
"No one loves me in any of the worlds."
"What about Yukina?"
"Yukina is searching for a brother she will never find."
"Hiei! She has to suspect! You are TWINS."
"She hates me."
"She loves you just as much as she would her own brother. Just because she got mad at you once does not mean she hates you."
Hiei stared off into the darkness.
"And what about me?" the fox asked quietly.
"What about you?" the demon snapped.
"I care for you too."
"You're dead. I can do nothing to save you."
"I could still be saved... At least you have Yukina..." he said slowly, watching Hiei's face. The smaller demon's face closed up, unreadable. Kurama sighed.
"...but now I know. There really wasn't ever any hope, was there?"
Hiei looked up at him.
"Hiei... talk to Yukina. That's my last wish before I die. Tell her you're her brother. Don't hurt yourself again... at least not until Yukina tells you what she feels for you as her brother."
"You're really going to die?" Hiei asked, watching the fox guardedly.
"There's no one here to hold my soul down," he said, smiling sadly.
Hiei watched him for a moment, and then disappeared into another dream. Kurama stood staring into the darkness for a while and disappeared from the subconscious of his long-time friend, sighing.
"Ai Shiteru, Hiei... I wish... I wish I could have saved you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurama sight and looked up at the clock as he escaped the dreams of his friend. He looked at the clock. 10 hours to go. He looked down at Hiei's sleeping form and settled down for a nap.
---Okiedokie y'all! How'd you like that chapter? The next will come later. Sorry the format different, but I'm having to type it in wordpad instead of on Word, and there is no auto wrap. Laaaaaame. Review!