I suppose my story starts when I am born. That's where most people's stories start. Though some do begin with the death and flash back to the birth. But I suppose those aren't as common as the birth beginnings. So I will start with my birth. It all happened quite fast, and it's hard for me to remember it. But it has been firmly established that I was born. And with that solid fact, I shall begin telling my slightly off-kilter story.
"Jesus, God! Just get this thing outta me!!" My mother Faye Valentine howled as she clawed at my father's arm. My father, Theoden, winced visibly and gritted his teeth. He tried to comfort her, but she growled at him, nearly biting off one of his fingers. Theoden withdrew in fear. He sat himself in the waiting room, since it seemed to be the reasonable thing to do.
It also happened that every one of his children were also in the waiting room. All 22 of them. Not only that, but my Aunt White Mage and my Uncle Black Mage had also dragged all of their children to the waiting room with them, of which they had 7. My father's mother was sitting at the edge of the room, whereas her husband was sitting across the room in his brown robe. Theoden looked up at all of his children, and called them all to him.
"Aragorn, Eomer, Eowyn, Largo, Roy, Ford, Kuwabara, Nicholas, Meriadoc, Mike, Knuckles, Leah, Mugetsu, Saya, Edward Wong Hau Pepilu Tiveruski the 4th, Jack, Tetsuo, Shadow, Tails, Link, Thomas, Toya, and Merrill, please come here." Then he called to the cousins, "Botan, Jet, Perigrin, Vegeta, Zim, Yuske, and Shu, if you would come as well."
Some of the children couldn't even walk, but the older children carried the small ones. They all sat in their father's (or uncle's) presence. He looked down on all of them and smiled.
"This is going to be your mother's (or aunt's) final child. We don't know what it's going to be, but I do know that you will treat it with the love and respect that you have shown each other."
"Yeah right," one of the older children, Merrill, said as he held the baby Kuwabara close to his chest. Kuwabara was grabbing fistfuls of Merrill's hair and yanking them as hard as he could. Aragorn gave a harsh laugh as the baby Leah punched him futilely in the arm. Theoden cleared his throat as Mike yelped. The baby Tetsuo was kicking Mike in the shin.
A loud screech echoed in the waiting room, meaning only one thing. I had been taken from my mother, and thus I was born! As I've said, the experience was quick, and I remember little of it. Everyone in the waiting room suddenly got a huge smile on their face. But only Theoden was allowed into the room. My mother was perched on her bed, a cigarette ready to be lit in her hand. I was lying, freezing, on a tiny table with a bright light shining on me. It was a while until they remembered that I was there, seeing as they had to convince my mother that smoking in the hospital was illegal. As I said... I don't remember much of it...
Time passes easily when you are unable to remember anything for the first year or so of your life. But I guess it went okay, because I am still here, after all. I've sometimes been told what my early, early childhood was like, but the renditions differ from sibling to sibling.
"You were the blossoming ideal child that I could only dream would be my sister," said my elder sister Eowyn.
"A weird, noisy, but all around kick-ass baby sister," Kuwabara, my closest brother, said.
"Hmm, you seemed pretty quiet to me." My mother mumbled absentmindedly.
"Though you were pretentious and a bit rambunctious, I would say that, from all your siblings, you were the most enjoyable to rear." My dad Theoden always had something good to say about everybody.
So basically, my first year or so is lost to me, saved only in the screwed-up memories of my reckless yet totally enjoyable family. It was when I was 2 that I can recall my first un-scrambled memory. A basketball hit me in the head. I suppose that getting hit in the head with a basketball somehow effects the sports-playing part of a kid's brain, because after that, a lot of memories contained basketball.
"Erin heads up!" Nicholas called, but all too late. My toddler feet carried me onto the smooth cement of the basketball court outside of our family Villa. The orange ball hurtled through the sky and struck me neatly on the side of my head. I flew a foot or so and landed on my side. My brother Kuwabara, only a year older than me, waddled to my side, and Nicholas, then a teenager, kneeled by me. But tears weren't in my eyes, and I wasn't crying. Merrill, about the same age as Nicholas, grabbed me in his arms while Nicholas picked the basketball from the cement.
"You okay, Erin?" Merrill asked, cradling me gently. But my eyes were fixed on the vibrant orange ball lying in Nicholas's palm. I reached for it, struggling against Merrill's grip.
"Gimme ball!" I cried, stretching my hands toward it. Nicholas carefully set the ball in my smaller hands, and I gripped it firmly. Merrill set me down on the basketball court. I looked up at him.
"How play?" I asked. Merrill made an agonizing look.
"You better ask Nick. I'm... better at baseball anyway." I looked at Nicholas, still holding a ball that was about as big as I was.
"How play, Nick?"
Ah, yes, the basketball. Nicholas taught both Kuwabara and myself to play basketball. My brother Tetsuo seemed interested, but he soon abandoned the sport when he discovered his powers. At times, he would come to our games and make the ball levitate feet above our heads, laughing. It was on my tenth birthday that I would get back at him for that, and I would forever ensure that the ball would no longer levitate.
"C'mon, tell me what you got me!!" I yelled, tugging at Kuwabara's sleeve. He snickered and made the gesture of zipping his lips. I made an infuriated growling noise and ran into the dining room. All of my presents were stacked on the dining room table. My family was already gathering around the table, including my sister Leah, who was one year older than me, and her new husband, Spike Spiegel. I sat at the head of the table, where my father would usually take his seat. I wrung my hands in anticipation as my eyes ran over the presents. There was one from every member of my family. That was 38 presents!! I giggled with glee as Kuwabara walked in and sat next to the head of the table. Toya sat opposite him, a rare smile lighting his face. My father, at the other end of the table, stood and raised his hands for silence. Knowing my family, this took them a total of three minutes. When total silence had been achieved, he looked straight at me.
"Choose a present and begin dear daughter." He mused in his commanding yet fatherly soft tone. With a squeal, I leapt onto the table and into the present pile. Siblings, cousins and other members of my family were pointing to their presents and demanding that I open theirs first. I emerged from the pile holding a blue wrapped present with a gold bow.
"That's mine!" Kuwabara yelled. The din quieted, and I quickly pulled off the bow. Throwing off the top of the box, I gasped at what I saw inside. Siblings pushed each other out of the way to see what I had received. I held the prize above my head: A Very Big Mallet. The polished wooden handle of the mallet gleamed in the light of the setting sun through the windows. I hugged the mallet close to me and sighed.
"Big brother Kuwabara, you're the best!" I cried. I carefully set the mallet in its perfect box and searched for another present. This time, it was a bright powder blue with a pink bow. Botan gave a high pitched squeal.
"Mine, mine!" Botan chimed. I unwrapped it, not expecting anything greater than the Very Big Mallet. It wasn't better, but just as great.
"Botan... my very own oar?" Tears started to form in my eyes. Botan nodded enthusiastically. I sat on the oar and urged it to go up, and it obeyed my every command. I couldn't have been happier. And I still had 36 more presents to go.
The next present I grabbed was a regular orange wrapped one with an orange bow. Merrill laughed and announced that it was from him. Anticipation was heavy in his voice. I knew that this present had to be a good one. I slowly unwrapped it, saving the orange paper and bow to keep in my room. A gasp exited my mouth like no other gasp I had ever gasped before. The tears that Botan's gift had created came spilling down my face, and I looked up at Merrill with adoration. My bottom lip trembled.
"Your... your... 507-footer alien-bashing baseball bat!!" My voice was quavering. Merrill nodded. "But... you can't give this to me!"
"Sure I can! It's your birthday. I fixed it up just for you."
Presents were unwrapped at unusual speed, seeing as I wished to try out my new weapons. From Aragorn, I received a short sword with the word Renech etched on its blade. A collaborated gift from the twins Eomer and Eowyn was a saddle. They told me that the rest of the gift was waiting outside in the maze. Roy had made armor identical to his for me, but his had colored it orange. Ford had carefully wrapped a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, making sure none of it spilled. I drank it as I opened the present from Nicholas, which happened to be two cross-shaped cuff links like his. Merry had given me a dark wooden pipe and a small pouch of Old Toby. Like I would ever smoke, I though as I finished off my Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Mike had wrapped his old stand-by: Crow, one of our pet robots. I unwrapped the box, and Crow popped out in a shower of confetti.
"Hey, Erin! It's me, Crow! Again!!" I quickly shoved him back into the box and continued unwrapping. Knuckles gave me a brand-new shovel with a mahogany polished wood handle. Leah had wrapped a coffin in black wrapping paper. She just smiled and said: "If you ever wanna join Saya and myself." They were vampires of course. Her husband Spike had also generously given me a present: a coupon to one of his martial arts teachers on Ganameade. Mugetsu's gift was unusual to say the least. A moldy orange sprinkled with what appeared to be body glitter and bread crumbs was wrapped neatly in orange tissue paper and tied with a ribbon that stated: 'You are a noodly monkey and I like fish.' I quickly set it aside and opened Saya's present. It was a fork. At least it was better than her last present: a dirty, used Tupperware bowl. Next was Ed's gift, which was a computer that would only go to the websites that Ed enjoyed. Tetsuo offered to give me the capsules that awoke his power in the first place. I said I'd think about it. Shadow wrapped a Chaos Emerald while Tails made me a miniature model of his Tornado. Link gave me a pet fairy while Ghan-buri-Ghan gave me a blowgun complete with poisoned darts. Toya walked over to the corner and stood next to something covered in a tarp.
"I knew how much you always wanted to ride my motorcycle, so..." he flung the tarp off of the gift, and my heart stopped dead. An orange motorcycle! My mouth opened and closed a few times, and I fell to my knees. I squealed an almost infinitesimal "Thank you." Thomas walked up to me with his gift. It was also wrapped in orange. He handed it to me.
"You probably won't like it as much as Toya's, but I had to custom order this guy. I hope you like it." I opened his present to find only a small black stick with a single button on it. I picked it up apprehensively. Thomas smiled, "Press the button, Erin," he told me. I did so. With a hum, an orange beam of light emerged from the end of the stick, and my eyes widened with amazement. An orange light saber! An orange light saber! I could've died then and been happy. But I still had some gifts to unwrap.
Jet gave me a cookbook including Bell Peppers and Beef, Pippin wrapped up a hand-made pint mug to drink from, Vegeta had a scouter for me, Zim wrapped up Gir, Yuske gave me his first detective item, and Shu handed me his famous weapon: the stick. Mom had a pack of cigarettes for me, but I gave them to Spike. Dad gave me an ancient horn forged in the First Age. Uncle Black Mage gave me a big hat just like his while Aunt White Mage gave me an anti-hacker software for Ed's computer gift. Gramma Pearl specially wrapped the original reel of "The Quest of the Delta Knights", and Grandpa Treebeard gave me a piece of Orthanc. Finally, Great-Grandpa Paul Luther handed me his old crossbow.
By far, in the history of the world, this had to have been the best birthday ever. No other birthday could have, in any way, stood up to the greatness of my birthday. I whirled my orange light saber once more before I retracted its light blade with a swift wrist motion. I hugged Merrill's baseball bat close to me and snuggled it for a moment before Kuwabara ran up to me. I sat up in the bottom of the bunk bed I shared with Merry. Kuwabara had a basketball in his hand.
"The next rung of the tournament is up! It's our team vs. Nick's team! C'mon, it starts in a couple minutes!" He grabbed my wrist, but I objected.
"Wait a sec, bro-bro Kuwabara. I just know that Tetsuo's gonna try to mess up our game again." I grabbed the short sword that Aragorn gave me and stuck it into its small scabbard around my waist. I stuck the light saber hilt into my belt loop. Kuwabara gave me a quizzical look, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room after me.
***
"The second match of the tournament begins soon!" Faye, my mom, called through her megaphone. We'd set up small bleachers on one side of the court where the family members that weren't playing could watch. "The match will be standard five on five, and the first team with the most points after ten minutes gets to move on! The losers get to wash the dishes after diner!"
I wrung my hands as I scanned the audience for Tetsuo. He wasn't present. Did that mean that he was on the opposing team? I heard my mom beginning to talk again.
"The first team includes Kazuma Kuwabara Valentine, Ford Prefect Valentine, Merrill Hess Valentine, Erin Valentine and Toya Kinomoto Valentine!" Our team ran out onto the court amidst a wave of applause. I waved my arms above my head and bowed.
"The opposing team is made up of Nicholas Wolfwood Valentine, Eomer Valentine, Eowyn Valentine, Tetsuo Shima Valentine and Yuske Urameshi Mage!" They, too, ran onto the court while the other members of our family clapped. I glared at Tetsuo, and he just winked at me. Jet sauntered onto the pavement as I took my position next to the basket, opposite Merrill. Ford was in front of me, Kuwabara opposite him. Toya was our forward. Tetsuo lined up with Toya, being the opposing team's forward. I saw that Nicholas was opposite me. How was I supposed to guard him? Merrill nudged me, and motioned for us to switch places. I smiled and moved to where I would guard Yuske. Merrill gave me a "thumbs up" sign and then focused his attention on the game.
Jet held the ball at waist level and looked around at all of us. "All paired up? Good. Now here're the rules: Fouls are considered to be things along the lines of: purposely pushing someone, purposely attacking someone with hands or feet, or screaming wildly and biting at someone's face. Other than that, anything goes. Weapons or other supernatural powers can by all means be used. Now, let's play some basketball." Blowing the whistle in his hand, my cousin threw the ball into the air. Toya could jump higher than Tetsuo, but Tetsuo also had the power to fly. Tetsuo smacked the ball down to Eowyn, who dribbled like lightning toward our basket.
"Erin, heads up!" Ford called as Eowyn streaked by him. I reached into my belt loop and grabbed my light saber. It flashed quickly, causing Eowyn to scream and recoil. In that moment, I grabbed the ball from the air and started to fly down the court. Tetsuo, from his vantage point in the air, raised his arm in the air. The ball flew from my hands and into his. He smirked and started laughing at me. My hand dove into my pocket and grabbed the capsules that Tetsuo himself had given to me on my birthday. I threw them into my mouth, swallowed, and jumped into the air to meet him.
Flying was a totally new and weird sensation. I wobbled at first, but I put my light saber before me and lunged at Tetsuo. He dodged out of the way, passing the ball to Nicholas. Nicholas was dumbfounded at first, but snapped out of it when Merrill came running toward him, ready to liberate the ball. My light saber brushed against Tetsuo's shoulder before I forced myself to fly toward the ground. I landed hard and fell to my knees, but I got up and flicked my wrist, retracting my light saber. Tetsuo had this look on his face that summarized many forms of anger and disbelief. He held his shoulder and blood flowed from the wound I had created. I decided it best to follow the fast-moving orange ball than to deal with Tetsuo. It was then that I saw Ford taking the ball up and slamming it into the net. Our half of the crowd cheered. Ford and Merrill slapped hands and jogged back down to our end of the court. Eomer passed the ball to Tetsuo, who was on the ground again. Tetsuo glared at me, and jumped high into the air. I leapt after him.
I flicked my light saber out and thrust it toward him. He surrounded himself in a red aura and blocked with his arm. I flipped around in the air, grabbed Renech from its scabbard, and threw it at the arm holding the ball. It was deflected with a metallic clinking noise, but I dove in, grabbing the ball with my left arm. Tetsuo flew after me. I swiftly made a pass to Toya, who had to jump into the air to catch it. Toya dribbled like a mad man, and he swerved into the opposing team's defenses. I swooped upwards in an arc, and scanned the air for Tetsuo. His body rammed into my abdomen, knocking the air out of me. I gasped for breath, but Tetsuo shoved me into the pavement. I tried to punch at him, but a sickening thud from behind Tetsuo confirmed that I was going to be okay. Tetsuo's eyes rolled back into his head, his grip loosened, and he fell to the ground beside me. I saw Kuwabara standing over me, and he gave his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me to my feet. Jet blew his whistle.
"Foul by Tetsuo! Foul shot for Erin! Also, foul by Kuwabara, foul shot for Tetsuo... when he wakes up."
I grabbed the ball in my hands and stood at the foul line. It was hard for me to focus, and the ground felt wobbly under my feet. I felt my head, but I shook off the feeling and aimed. The basket slid in and out of focus, and it started turning all sorts of colors. The ball dropped from my shaking hands, and I took in short, panicky breaths. Nicholas stepped out of the lineup and ran to steady me as I staggered.
"Erin? Erin, can you hear me?" Nicholas called. I shivered, and my eyes rolled back into my head. Merrill and Kuwabara dashed to help Nicholas prop me up.
"What the fuck..." I garbled, "is in Tetsuo's capsules?"
A more serious tale, to say the least, but it proves that Tetsuo never tried to levitate the ball anymore. I also tried to use those powers minimally. Heh... More important aspects of my life came into focus after that year... Especially one year, when I was 14. That was the year I went to Kindergarten. Kindergarten may seem innocent to the likes of puny mortals like you readers out there, but it's much more foreboding than your parents let on. Vile things go on inside those classrooms... especially the ones we were in...
"Jesus, God! Just get this thing outta me!!" My mother Faye Valentine howled as she clawed at my father's arm. My father, Theoden, winced visibly and gritted his teeth. He tried to comfort her, but she growled at him, nearly biting off one of his fingers. Theoden withdrew in fear. He sat himself in the waiting room, since it seemed to be the reasonable thing to do.
It also happened that every one of his children were also in the waiting room. All 22 of them. Not only that, but my Aunt White Mage and my Uncle Black Mage had also dragged all of their children to the waiting room with them, of which they had 7. My father's mother was sitting at the edge of the room, whereas her husband was sitting across the room in his brown robe. Theoden looked up at all of his children, and called them all to him.
"Aragorn, Eomer, Eowyn, Largo, Roy, Ford, Kuwabara, Nicholas, Meriadoc, Mike, Knuckles, Leah, Mugetsu, Saya, Edward Wong Hau Pepilu Tiveruski the 4th, Jack, Tetsuo, Shadow, Tails, Link, Thomas, Toya, and Merrill, please come here." Then he called to the cousins, "Botan, Jet, Perigrin, Vegeta, Zim, Yuske, and Shu, if you would come as well."
Some of the children couldn't even walk, but the older children carried the small ones. They all sat in their father's (or uncle's) presence. He looked down on all of them and smiled.
"This is going to be your mother's (or aunt's) final child. We don't know what it's going to be, but I do know that you will treat it with the love and respect that you have shown each other."
"Yeah right," one of the older children, Merrill, said as he held the baby Kuwabara close to his chest. Kuwabara was grabbing fistfuls of Merrill's hair and yanking them as hard as he could. Aragorn gave a harsh laugh as the baby Leah punched him futilely in the arm. Theoden cleared his throat as Mike yelped. The baby Tetsuo was kicking Mike in the shin.
A loud screech echoed in the waiting room, meaning only one thing. I had been taken from my mother, and thus I was born! As I've said, the experience was quick, and I remember little of it. Everyone in the waiting room suddenly got a huge smile on their face. But only Theoden was allowed into the room. My mother was perched on her bed, a cigarette ready to be lit in her hand. I was lying, freezing, on a tiny table with a bright light shining on me. It was a while until they remembered that I was there, seeing as they had to convince my mother that smoking in the hospital was illegal. As I said... I don't remember much of it...
Time passes easily when you are unable to remember anything for the first year or so of your life. But I guess it went okay, because I am still here, after all. I've sometimes been told what my early, early childhood was like, but the renditions differ from sibling to sibling.
"You were the blossoming ideal child that I could only dream would be my sister," said my elder sister Eowyn.
"A weird, noisy, but all around kick-ass baby sister," Kuwabara, my closest brother, said.
"Hmm, you seemed pretty quiet to me." My mother mumbled absentmindedly.
"Though you were pretentious and a bit rambunctious, I would say that, from all your siblings, you were the most enjoyable to rear." My dad Theoden always had something good to say about everybody.
So basically, my first year or so is lost to me, saved only in the screwed-up memories of my reckless yet totally enjoyable family. It was when I was 2 that I can recall my first un-scrambled memory. A basketball hit me in the head. I suppose that getting hit in the head with a basketball somehow effects the sports-playing part of a kid's brain, because after that, a lot of memories contained basketball.
"Erin heads up!" Nicholas called, but all too late. My toddler feet carried me onto the smooth cement of the basketball court outside of our family Villa. The orange ball hurtled through the sky and struck me neatly on the side of my head. I flew a foot or so and landed on my side. My brother Kuwabara, only a year older than me, waddled to my side, and Nicholas, then a teenager, kneeled by me. But tears weren't in my eyes, and I wasn't crying. Merrill, about the same age as Nicholas, grabbed me in his arms while Nicholas picked the basketball from the cement.
"You okay, Erin?" Merrill asked, cradling me gently. But my eyes were fixed on the vibrant orange ball lying in Nicholas's palm. I reached for it, struggling against Merrill's grip.
"Gimme ball!" I cried, stretching my hands toward it. Nicholas carefully set the ball in my smaller hands, and I gripped it firmly. Merrill set me down on the basketball court. I looked up at him.
"How play?" I asked. Merrill made an agonizing look.
"You better ask Nick. I'm... better at baseball anyway." I looked at Nicholas, still holding a ball that was about as big as I was.
"How play, Nick?"
Ah, yes, the basketball. Nicholas taught both Kuwabara and myself to play basketball. My brother Tetsuo seemed interested, but he soon abandoned the sport when he discovered his powers. At times, he would come to our games and make the ball levitate feet above our heads, laughing. It was on my tenth birthday that I would get back at him for that, and I would forever ensure that the ball would no longer levitate.
"C'mon, tell me what you got me!!" I yelled, tugging at Kuwabara's sleeve. He snickered and made the gesture of zipping his lips. I made an infuriated growling noise and ran into the dining room. All of my presents were stacked on the dining room table. My family was already gathering around the table, including my sister Leah, who was one year older than me, and her new husband, Spike Spiegel. I sat at the head of the table, where my father would usually take his seat. I wrung my hands in anticipation as my eyes ran over the presents. There was one from every member of my family. That was 38 presents!! I giggled with glee as Kuwabara walked in and sat next to the head of the table. Toya sat opposite him, a rare smile lighting his face. My father, at the other end of the table, stood and raised his hands for silence. Knowing my family, this took them a total of three minutes. When total silence had been achieved, he looked straight at me.
"Choose a present and begin dear daughter." He mused in his commanding yet fatherly soft tone. With a squeal, I leapt onto the table and into the present pile. Siblings, cousins and other members of my family were pointing to their presents and demanding that I open theirs first. I emerged from the pile holding a blue wrapped present with a gold bow.
"That's mine!" Kuwabara yelled. The din quieted, and I quickly pulled off the bow. Throwing off the top of the box, I gasped at what I saw inside. Siblings pushed each other out of the way to see what I had received. I held the prize above my head: A Very Big Mallet. The polished wooden handle of the mallet gleamed in the light of the setting sun through the windows. I hugged the mallet close to me and sighed.
"Big brother Kuwabara, you're the best!" I cried. I carefully set the mallet in its perfect box and searched for another present. This time, it was a bright powder blue with a pink bow. Botan gave a high pitched squeal.
"Mine, mine!" Botan chimed. I unwrapped it, not expecting anything greater than the Very Big Mallet. It wasn't better, but just as great.
"Botan... my very own oar?" Tears started to form in my eyes. Botan nodded enthusiastically. I sat on the oar and urged it to go up, and it obeyed my every command. I couldn't have been happier. And I still had 36 more presents to go.
The next present I grabbed was a regular orange wrapped one with an orange bow. Merrill laughed and announced that it was from him. Anticipation was heavy in his voice. I knew that this present had to be a good one. I slowly unwrapped it, saving the orange paper and bow to keep in my room. A gasp exited my mouth like no other gasp I had ever gasped before. The tears that Botan's gift had created came spilling down my face, and I looked up at Merrill with adoration. My bottom lip trembled.
"Your... your... 507-footer alien-bashing baseball bat!!" My voice was quavering. Merrill nodded. "But... you can't give this to me!"
"Sure I can! It's your birthday. I fixed it up just for you."
Presents were unwrapped at unusual speed, seeing as I wished to try out my new weapons. From Aragorn, I received a short sword with the word Renech etched on its blade. A collaborated gift from the twins Eomer and Eowyn was a saddle. They told me that the rest of the gift was waiting outside in the maze. Roy had made armor identical to his for me, but his had colored it orange. Ford had carefully wrapped a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, making sure none of it spilled. I drank it as I opened the present from Nicholas, which happened to be two cross-shaped cuff links like his. Merry had given me a dark wooden pipe and a small pouch of Old Toby. Like I would ever smoke, I though as I finished off my Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Mike had wrapped his old stand-by: Crow, one of our pet robots. I unwrapped the box, and Crow popped out in a shower of confetti.
"Hey, Erin! It's me, Crow! Again!!" I quickly shoved him back into the box and continued unwrapping. Knuckles gave me a brand-new shovel with a mahogany polished wood handle. Leah had wrapped a coffin in black wrapping paper. She just smiled and said: "If you ever wanna join Saya and myself." They were vampires of course. Her husband Spike had also generously given me a present: a coupon to one of his martial arts teachers on Ganameade. Mugetsu's gift was unusual to say the least. A moldy orange sprinkled with what appeared to be body glitter and bread crumbs was wrapped neatly in orange tissue paper and tied with a ribbon that stated: 'You are a noodly monkey and I like fish.' I quickly set it aside and opened Saya's present. It was a fork. At least it was better than her last present: a dirty, used Tupperware bowl. Next was Ed's gift, which was a computer that would only go to the websites that Ed enjoyed. Tetsuo offered to give me the capsules that awoke his power in the first place. I said I'd think about it. Shadow wrapped a Chaos Emerald while Tails made me a miniature model of his Tornado. Link gave me a pet fairy while Ghan-buri-Ghan gave me a blowgun complete with poisoned darts. Toya walked over to the corner and stood next to something covered in a tarp.
"I knew how much you always wanted to ride my motorcycle, so..." he flung the tarp off of the gift, and my heart stopped dead. An orange motorcycle! My mouth opened and closed a few times, and I fell to my knees. I squealed an almost infinitesimal "Thank you." Thomas walked up to me with his gift. It was also wrapped in orange. He handed it to me.
"You probably won't like it as much as Toya's, but I had to custom order this guy. I hope you like it." I opened his present to find only a small black stick with a single button on it. I picked it up apprehensively. Thomas smiled, "Press the button, Erin," he told me. I did so. With a hum, an orange beam of light emerged from the end of the stick, and my eyes widened with amazement. An orange light saber! An orange light saber! I could've died then and been happy. But I still had some gifts to unwrap.
Jet gave me a cookbook including Bell Peppers and Beef, Pippin wrapped up a hand-made pint mug to drink from, Vegeta had a scouter for me, Zim wrapped up Gir, Yuske gave me his first detective item, and Shu handed me his famous weapon: the stick. Mom had a pack of cigarettes for me, but I gave them to Spike. Dad gave me an ancient horn forged in the First Age. Uncle Black Mage gave me a big hat just like his while Aunt White Mage gave me an anti-hacker software for Ed's computer gift. Gramma Pearl specially wrapped the original reel of "The Quest of the Delta Knights", and Grandpa Treebeard gave me a piece of Orthanc. Finally, Great-Grandpa Paul Luther handed me his old crossbow.
By far, in the history of the world, this had to have been the best birthday ever. No other birthday could have, in any way, stood up to the greatness of my birthday. I whirled my orange light saber once more before I retracted its light blade with a swift wrist motion. I hugged Merrill's baseball bat close to me and snuggled it for a moment before Kuwabara ran up to me. I sat up in the bottom of the bunk bed I shared with Merry. Kuwabara had a basketball in his hand.
"The next rung of the tournament is up! It's our team vs. Nick's team! C'mon, it starts in a couple minutes!" He grabbed my wrist, but I objected.
"Wait a sec, bro-bro Kuwabara. I just know that Tetsuo's gonna try to mess up our game again." I grabbed the short sword that Aragorn gave me and stuck it into its small scabbard around my waist. I stuck the light saber hilt into my belt loop. Kuwabara gave me a quizzical look, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room after me.
***
"The second match of the tournament begins soon!" Faye, my mom, called through her megaphone. We'd set up small bleachers on one side of the court where the family members that weren't playing could watch. "The match will be standard five on five, and the first team with the most points after ten minutes gets to move on! The losers get to wash the dishes after diner!"
I wrung my hands as I scanned the audience for Tetsuo. He wasn't present. Did that mean that he was on the opposing team? I heard my mom beginning to talk again.
"The first team includes Kazuma Kuwabara Valentine, Ford Prefect Valentine, Merrill Hess Valentine, Erin Valentine and Toya Kinomoto Valentine!" Our team ran out onto the court amidst a wave of applause. I waved my arms above my head and bowed.
"The opposing team is made up of Nicholas Wolfwood Valentine, Eomer Valentine, Eowyn Valentine, Tetsuo Shima Valentine and Yuske Urameshi Mage!" They, too, ran onto the court while the other members of our family clapped. I glared at Tetsuo, and he just winked at me. Jet sauntered onto the pavement as I took my position next to the basket, opposite Merrill. Ford was in front of me, Kuwabara opposite him. Toya was our forward. Tetsuo lined up with Toya, being the opposing team's forward. I saw that Nicholas was opposite me. How was I supposed to guard him? Merrill nudged me, and motioned for us to switch places. I smiled and moved to where I would guard Yuske. Merrill gave me a "thumbs up" sign and then focused his attention on the game.
Jet held the ball at waist level and looked around at all of us. "All paired up? Good. Now here're the rules: Fouls are considered to be things along the lines of: purposely pushing someone, purposely attacking someone with hands or feet, or screaming wildly and biting at someone's face. Other than that, anything goes. Weapons or other supernatural powers can by all means be used. Now, let's play some basketball." Blowing the whistle in his hand, my cousin threw the ball into the air. Toya could jump higher than Tetsuo, but Tetsuo also had the power to fly. Tetsuo smacked the ball down to Eowyn, who dribbled like lightning toward our basket.
"Erin, heads up!" Ford called as Eowyn streaked by him. I reached into my belt loop and grabbed my light saber. It flashed quickly, causing Eowyn to scream and recoil. In that moment, I grabbed the ball from the air and started to fly down the court. Tetsuo, from his vantage point in the air, raised his arm in the air. The ball flew from my hands and into his. He smirked and started laughing at me. My hand dove into my pocket and grabbed the capsules that Tetsuo himself had given to me on my birthday. I threw them into my mouth, swallowed, and jumped into the air to meet him.
Flying was a totally new and weird sensation. I wobbled at first, but I put my light saber before me and lunged at Tetsuo. He dodged out of the way, passing the ball to Nicholas. Nicholas was dumbfounded at first, but snapped out of it when Merrill came running toward him, ready to liberate the ball. My light saber brushed against Tetsuo's shoulder before I forced myself to fly toward the ground. I landed hard and fell to my knees, but I got up and flicked my wrist, retracting my light saber. Tetsuo had this look on his face that summarized many forms of anger and disbelief. He held his shoulder and blood flowed from the wound I had created. I decided it best to follow the fast-moving orange ball than to deal with Tetsuo. It was then that I saw Ford taking the ball up and slamming it into the net. Our half of the crowd cheered. Ford and Merrill slapped hands and jogged back down to our end of the court. Eomer passed the ball to Tetsuo, who was on the ground again. Tetsuo glared at me, and jumped high into the air. I leapt after him.
I flicked my light saber out and thrust it toward him. He surrounded himself in a red aura and blocked with his arm. I flipped around in the air, grabbed Renech from its scabbard, and threw it at the arm holding the ball. It was deflected with a metallic clinking noise, but I dove in, grabbing the ball with my left arm. Tetsuo flew after me. I swiftly made a pass to Toya, who had to jump into the air to catch it. Toya dribbled like a mad man, and he swerved into the opposing team's defenses. I swooped upwards in an arc, and scanned the air for Tetsuo. His body rammed into my abdomen, knocking the air out of me. I gasped for breath, but Tetsuo shoved me into the pavement. I tried to punch at him, but a sickening thud from behind Tetsuo confirmed that I was going to be okay. Tetsuo's eyes rolled back into his head, his grip loosened, and he fell to the ground beside me. I saw Kuwabara standing over me, and he gave his hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me to my feet. Jet blew his whistle.
"Foul by Tetsuo! Foul shot for Erin! Also, foul by Kuwabara, foul shot for Tetsuo... when he wakes up."
I grabbed the ball in my hands and stood at the foul line. It was hard for me to focus, and the ground felt wobbly under my feet. I felt my head, but I shook off the feeling and aimed. The basket slid in and out of focus, and it started turning all sorts of colors. The ball dropped from my shaking hands, and I took in short, panicky breaths. Nicholas stepped out of the lineup and ran to steady me as I staggered.
"Erin? Erin, can you hear me?" Nicholas called. I shivered, and my eyes rolled back into my head. Merrill and Kuwabara dashed to help Nicholas prop me up.
"What the fuck..." I garbled, "is in Tetsuo's capsules?"
A more serious tale, to say the least, but it proves that Tetsuo never tried to levitate the ball anymore. I also tried to use those powers minimally. Heh... More important aspects of my life came into focus after that year... Especially one year, when I was 14. That was the year I went to Kindergarten. Kindergarten may seem innocent to the likes of puny mortals like you readers out there, but it's much more foreboding than your parents let on. Vile things go on inside those classrooms... especially the ones we were in...