Knock, knock.
"Early… Too… Damn… Early…" Faye mumbled as she walked toward the double doors in the front of our house. The knock came again, more insistent this time. Her hand had barely enough strength to grasp the door handle. It swung open to reveal a man with his hands in the pockets of his large tan trench coat.
"Ma'am." He tipped his hat at her. "I'm the local truancy officer, and I've come to inquire about the schooling of your children." Faye scratched her head sleepily, her hair still mussed up and her eyes droopy.
"Children?"
"Yes, ma'am. I've been told that you have 22 children that have not been attending school for 30 years." Faye looked perplexed for a moment, and took the clipboard from the man's hand. "There's a typo on there, ma'am. 300 years?"
"No, it's right. Botan's 300 all right." She handed the clipboard to the truancy officer. "But she's a smarty!" My mother laughed hysterically for a couple of moments, then collapsed onto the floor. Very tired, I guess. Behind my mother was my father, Theoden. He looked at my mother, snoozing, then at the truancy officer.
"Excuse my wife, she's very tired." The man looked at Faye, then to Theoden. "Wife, sir?" Faye stumbled to her feet and grabbed my father's cheek between her thumb and forefinger.
"Ain't he a cutie?" She fell asleep again, and my father slung her over his shoulder. He smiled invitingly at the man.
"So you wish to see my children and their cousins? Come then, and you may eat with us."
"It must be a hassle taking care of 23 children." The officer said as he stepped into the lobby. Theoden patted the younger man on the back.
"Not all of our children live with us at the moment, but the others take care of themselves."
"DIE URAMESHI!!!"
"SPIRIT GUN!!"
The truancy officer walked into pure chaos. I grabbed my orange light saber and Kuwabara grabbed his Rei-kai. Vash screamed, grabbing onto Thomas. Thomas threw Vash off of him, and Link took out the Master Sword. The Spirit Gun was reflected back as Kuwabara hit it as a home run.
"DUCK!" yelled Eomer as he grabbed the arm of his twin Eowyn. Everyone hit the floor as the Spirit Gun bounced around the room, barely missing the truancy officer's head. I jumped to my feet, light saber in hand.
"Fools!!" I screamed as I grabbed a slice of ham from my plate. Spike shot it right out of my hand and Ford caught it in his mouth.
"Hey! That was Erin's ham, dammit!" Kuwabara yelled as he charged toward the others in rage. I followed, calling my war cry. ("HAAAAAM!!") Knuckles, in a panic, dug a hole in the middle of the floor. All of my siblings and cousins crowded into the hole after him. My brother and I stood over the hole. I grabbed my shovel and held it over my head.
"You cannot hide for long, ham hoarder! I HAVE A SHOVEL!!" I began to dig furiously, calling out the names of those hiding. "Come out Jack, Largo, Aragorn, Eomer, Eowyn, Ford, Merry, Mike, Spike, Knuckles, Roy, Link, Vash, Thomas, Botan, Jet, Pippin, Yuske, and ZIM! FIGHT MEE!!"
"Ahem." My father said softly. All attention turned to him. He set my mother down in a chair, still sleeping. "We have a guest, children. His name is Harrison. John Harrison. He is the truancy officer, and he says that you children haven't attended school. Is this true?" There was a silence that echoed through the room. No one spoke. Spike cocked his head.
"Sk-oo-ll?"
"What is this thing you call… 'Sk-oo-ll'?" Roy asked, jumping out of the hole. Thomas raised his hand.
"I went to school once…" Ford smacked him upside the head.
"No one asked you, Thomas!"
"I've heard of 'sk-oo-lls' before." Mike said quietly. "They keep you locked in a room with a bunch of strangers, writing strange messages on this thing that's not really black… I've heard that some people never come back…"
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!" Vash yelled, backing away. Jet grabbed Vash from behind.
"Why don't you just shuddup and listen to the man?"
"YOU CAN'T MAKE US!!" I cried, lifting my light saber above my head. A shot rang in the air, and we all settled down. My mother set her gun down on the table.
"You brats woke me up. Now I'm mad. What the hell is this 'sk-oo-ll' thing, and will it keep them out of my hair?"
"Our school will offer your children wonderful learning experiences… The only problem is that they've never attended a school before and will therefore have to start in kindergarten. We will have a bus come and pick them up first thing tomorrow morning. I'd like to meet those of your children who live away from this house and tell them about coming to school as well." Mr. Harrison said.
"No you don't." Faye warned. The officer looked at her in an appalled way. "Having your children living away from you is one thing, but not wanting to see them is horrible!"
"No, you don't understand. You really don't want to see them." Theoden backed my mother up. The officer shook his head.
"I'm afraid I'll have to go see them." He looked at the clipboard. "I believe their names are Tails, Shadow, Wolfwood, Ed, Saya, Mugetsu, and Leah." Everyone in the room suddenly grabbed onto the person next to them, some of us weeping softly. Thomas grabbed onto Ford, but Ford smacked Thomas upside the head. I cried loudly into Kuwabara's shirt.
"You dare mention the names of the demented in this house?" Eomer's voice quavered with fear. Even Zim was scared.
"I don't understand you people. They're your family."
"I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE YOU SPEAK OF!!" Aragorn yelled as he shielded Vash, who was cowering in the corner.
"Well, I'm going, and I'll need someone to show me the way." Mr. Harrison said. Link sheathed the Master Sword and stood.
"I'll take you."
"You can't forget me!" Yuske demanded.
"If Urameshi's goin' then I'm goin' too." Kuwabara stuttered.
"NO, OH BRO-BRO OF BRO-BRO'S! You can't sacrifice yourself…WITHOUT ME!" I grabbed Renech and jumped up with the others.
"I still don't get you guys. It's like you're going off to battle."
"OH BUT WE ARE!!" I cried. "It is you that does not understand the consequences, Mr. Harrison!" Dark and scary music floated through the room. Mr. Harrison looked around, frightened.
"Where's that music coming from?"
"Oh, that's just Crow messin' wit yo head." I told him.
"There's another kid messing around out there?" Mr. Harrison asked, exasperated. Mike gasped.
"NOT A KID, YOU FOOL! Crow is a robot!"
"This is such a messed up family." Mr. Harrison mumbled to himself.
And so our journey began…
"Early… Too… Damn… Early…" Faye mumbled as she walked toward the double doors in the front of our house. The knock came again, more insistent this time. Her hand had barely enough strength to grasp the door handle. It swung open to reveal a man with his hands in the pockets of his large tan trench coat.
"Ma'am." He tipped his hat at her. "I'm the local truancy officer, and I've come to inquire about the schooling of your children." Faye scratched her head sleepily, her hair still mussed up and her eyes droopy.
"Children?"
"Yes, ma'am. I've been told that you have 22 children that have not been attending school for 30 years." Faye looked perplexed for a moment, and took the clipboard from the man's hand. "There's a typo on there, ma'am. 300 years?"
"No, it's right. Botan's 300 all right." She handed the clipboard to the truancy officer. "But she's a smarty!" My mother laughed hysterically for a couple of moments, then collapsed onto the floor. Very tired, I guess. Behind my mother was my father, Theoden. He looked at my mother, snoozing, then at the truancy officer.
"Excuse my wife, she's very tired." The man looked at Faye, then to Theoden. "Wife, sir?" Faye stumbled to her feet and grabbed my father's cheek between her thumb and forefinger.
"Ain't he a cutie?" She fell asleep again, and my father slung her over his shoulder. He smiled invitingly at the man.
"So you wish to see my children and their cousins? Come then, and you may eat with us."
"It must be a hassle taking care of 23 children." The officer said as he stepped into the lobby. Theoden patted the younger man on the back.
"Not all of our children live with us at the moment, but the others take care of themselves."
"DIE URAMESHI!!!"
"SPIRIT GUN!!"
The truancy officer walked into pure chaos. I grabbed my orange light saber and Kuwabara grabbed his Rei-kai. Vash screamed, grabbing onto Thomas. Thomas threw Vash off of him, and Link took out the Master Sword. The Spirit Gun was reflected back as Kuwabara hit it as a home run.
"DUCK!" yelled Eomer as he grabbed the arm of his twin Eowyn. Everyone hit the floor as the Spirit Gun bounced around the room, barely missing the truancy officer's head. I jumped to my feet, light saber in hand.
"Fools!!" I screamed as I grabbed a slice of ham from my plate. Spike shot it right out of my hand and Ford caught it in his mouth.
"Hey! That was Erin's ham, dammit!" Kuwabara yelled as he charged toward the others in rage. I followed, calling my war cry. ("HAAAAAM!!") Knuckles, in a panic, dug a hole in the middle of the floor. All of my siblings and cousins crowded into the hole after him. My brother and I stood over the hole. I grabbed my shovel and held it over my head.
"You cannot hide for long, ham hoarder! I HAVE A SHOVEL!!" I began to dig furiously, calling out the names of those hiding. "Come out Jack, Largo, Aragorn, Eomer, Eowyn, Ford, Merry, Mike, Spike, Knuckles, Roy, Link, Vash, Thomas, Botan, Jet, Pippin, Yuske, and ZIM! FIGHT MEE!!"
"Ahem." My father said softly. All attention turned to him. He set my mother down in a chair, still sleeping. "We have a guest, children. His name is Harrison. John Harrison. He is the truancy officer, and he says that you children haven't attended school. Is this true?" There was a silence that echoed through the room. No one spoke. Spike cocked his head.
"Sk-oo-ll?"
"What is this thing you call… 'Sk-oo-ll'?" Roy asked, jumping out of the hole. Thomas raised his hand.
"I went to school once…" Ford smacked him upside the head.
"No one asked you, Thomas!"
"I've heard of 'sk-oo-lls' before." Mike said quietly. "They keep you locked in a room with a bunch of strangers, writing strange messages on this thing that's not really black… I've heard that some people never come back…"
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!" Vash yelled, backing away. Jet grabbed Vash from behind.
"Why don't you just shuddup and listen to the man?"
"YOU CAN'T MAKE US!!" I cried, lifting my light saber above my head. A shot rang in the air, and we all settled down. My mother set her gun down on the table.
"You brats woke me up. Now I'm mad. What the hell is this 'sk-oo-ll' thing, and will it keep them out of my hair?"
"Our school will offer your children wonderful learning experiences… The only problem is that they've never attended a school before and will therefore have to start in kindergarten. We will have a bus come and pick them up first thing tomorrow morning. I'd like to meet those of your children who live away from this house and tell them about coming to school as well." Mr. Harrison said.
"No you don't." Faye warned. The officer looked at her in an appalled way. "Having your children living away from you is one thing, but not wanting to see them is horrible!"
"No, you don't understand. You really don't want to see them." Theoden backed my mother up. The officer shook his head.
"I'm afraid I'll have to go see them." He looked at the clipboard. "I believe their names are Tails, Shadow, Wolfwood, Ed, Saya, Mugetsu, and Leah." Everyone in the room suddenly grabbed onto the person next to them, some of us weeping softly. Thomas grabbed onto Ford, but Ford smacked Thomas upside the head. I cried loudly into Kuwabara's shirt.
"You dare mention the names of the demented in this house?" Eomer's voice quavered with fear. Even Zim was scared.
"I don't understand you people. They're your family."
"I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE YOU SPEAK OF!!" Aragorn yelled as he shielded Vash, who was cowering in the corner.
"Well, I'm going, and I'll need someone to show me the way." Mr. Harrison said. Link sheathed the Master Sword and stood.
"I'll take you."
"You can't forget me!" Yuske demanded.
"If Urameshi's goin' then I'm goin' too." Kuwabara stuttered.
"NO, OH BRO-BRO OF BRO-BRO'S! You can't sacrifice yourself…WITHOUT ME!" I grabbed Renech and jumped up with the others.
"I still don't get you guys. It's like you're going off to battle."
"OH BUT WE ARE!!" I cried. "It is you that does not understand the consequences, Mr. Harrison!" Dark and scary music floated through the room. Mr. Harrison looked around, frightened.
"Where's that music coming from?"
"Oh, that's just Crow messin' wit yo head." I told him.
"There's another kid messing around out there?" Mr. Harrison asked, exasperated. Mike gasped.
"NOT A KID, YOU FOOL! Crow is a robot!"
"This is such a messed up family." Mr. Harrison mumbled to himself.
And so our journey began…