"Be wary, now, as we enter the gates." Link told Harrison. Yuske sighed.
"Cut it out, Link."
"Yea, seriously." I voiced.
"WHO DARES ENTER THE GATES OF THE MAZE!! SPEAK NOW AND I WILL NOT DESTROY EVERY FIBER OF YOUR MORTAL SOUL!!"
"Just us, Smaug." Kuwabara said. The red dragon lifted his head far above the tops of the hedge maze. He smiled.
"Ah yes. Where are you traveling to now, family?" We all hung our heads. Tears were in my eyes as I spoke to our Dragon.
"The… The Castle…" Smaug gasped and leapt to his feet.
"Surely not! To go there, among those… things! Surely you speak of nothing but… Death!"
"Don't try to talk us out of it, Smaug." Yuske said. He put his hands behind his head. "Being dead isn't so bad." I started to cry again, and shoved my face into my hands. Mr. Harrison was not only scared to death by seeing a dragon, but he was now thoroughly frightened.
"What's so horrible over there that you think that you could die?" He asked, his voice quavering. Kuwabara got a real serious look on his face and glared down at the frightened Mr. Harrison.
"Four words: The Insane Arts."
"That's eight, big brother." I told him.
"Of course not," said Link, "it's only one!"
"You're all wrong," Yuske informed us, "it's twelve."
"I keep finding more and more reasons to send you all to school." Harrison grumbled.
"If you must go, please, try to return safely. My food bowl won't be as full without you." We walked off, waving goodbye to our faithful pet Dragon. I turned on my light saber and threw Renech to Yuske.
"Why does everyone in this house have some sort of weapon?" Mr. Harrison asked. I jumped up on top of his shoulders.
"YOU CAN NEVER BE TO CAREFUL, MR. TRUANCY MAN!!" I jumped off of him and pointed forward. "Through that door, we go down into a room that leads to the tunnel. The tunnel connects the Villa to the Castle, where the insane part of the family resides. The tunnel used to be very big and confoozyness, but my bro-bro Knuckles dug and dug. He made it a pretty hallway."
"Confoozyness eh? Spelling Bee material, that is… Confoozyness…" Mr. Harrison hung his head. Link opened the door and we all stepped inside. There was a long flight of stairs leading down to a room that ended in a coffin. The truancy officer shuddered.
"Are you sure we're in the right room?" He asked, creeped out.
"Of course." Kuwabara said, opening the lid of the coffin.
"GYAHHHH!!!" The thing in the coffin popped out, screaming wildly, clinging to Mr. Harrison's face. He screamed, trying to pry it off of his face.
"Tom!" Yuske yelled, holding the Spirit Gun up to the robot's head. "Let the nice man's face go!" Tom Servo dropped to the floor and grabbed onto my foot.
"I was locked in that stupid coffin I ordered from The Screaming Skull! Now wasn't that a predicament?" He laughed and hovered off, closing the door behind him. Harrison lay on the floor, his breathing ragged and labored. Link grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.
"Don't let Tom scare you. He and Crow just like to mess with the minds of our guests." I hopped into the coffin and disappeared through the hole in the bottom. My brothers and cousin followed me, and Mr. Harrison reluctantly followed. We dropped down into the tunnel. At the very end of the hall/tunnel was a light. I began to hyperventilate.
"What if he tries to eat me again?! I can't stand the pressure! Help!" I started to back up, but Kuwabara pulled me back, shielding my eyes.
"It'll be okay, baby sister. I'm here. He won't eat you without eatin' me first!" It took a little over 5 minutes to walk through the whole hall. I pawed at Kuwabara's arm in fear, and he put his hand on my head. Harrison began to grow extremely nervous.
"Who tried to eat what, now?" He asked me. I began to shake, and Kuwabara glared at the truancy officer.
"Why don't you just shut up and you'll find out who's eating who soon enough." Harrison was dead silent. He was seriously thinking this was a bad idea. Then again, we had warned him. The door at the end of the tunnel opened up into a dimly lit room. In the far corner of the room was a yellow fox with two tails. In his hand was a great big wrench. He was standing next to a huge blue machine. He squinted to look at us.
"Erin? Link, Kuwabara and Yuske too? You guys came back? Wow! I never thought you'd ever want to come here again!" He ran over to us and laughed.
"What're you workin' on now, Tails?" Yuske asked, glancing at the machine.
"Oh, just fixing up the hyper coraterial trioculator on the PD80006429 Tornado." "Oh, that old thing." Kuwabara said. Harrison scratched his head. This kid seemed nice… and smart too. There seemed to be no problem what-so-ever with the Castle… "We can't stay here for too long." Link said. "We have business within the Castle." Tails stopped laughing suddenly and his mouth grew into a thin line. His eyes nervously darted across the room.
"I, uh… Can't help you there, guys… It's either here or the attic for me. Just… Just be careful. You can't trust those minions, you know."
"We know." I said quietly. A tense air filled the room. Link's hand nervously found the doorknob and settled on it. He began to sweat.
"Okay, guys. I'm opening the door." He grabbed his Master Sword. Kuwabara formed his Rei-kai and I turned on the light saber. The door slowly creaked open like in those cheesy horror films. I hid my eyes. There was a long, empty stone corridor lit by torches. Kuwabara's grip on my shoulder tightened. Mr. Harrison began to walk forward into the corridor. Yuske gasped.
"No, you fool!"
"Deddo ushi! KEE-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Out of nowhere, a man in gray hopped directly in front of Harrison's face, then began bounding around the corridor, laughing insanely. Mr. Harrison screamed and fell back onto his large booty. I charged in, light saber first. All of my attacks missed, and the mad man kept slapping and punching me in the oddest of places, such as the shoulder and kneecap and whatnot. I fell to the ground near Harrison, a cut on my face.
"Ooh, kotta!" The madman said as he stood over me. I screamed.
"No! Not kotta!!" Kuwabara yelled, taking into mind that it was Japanese for tasty. He pointed the tip of the Rei-kai at the mad man's neck. The oddball smiled like a frog.
"Ooh, Kuwabara! Puriti fu-do!" He back flipped away from the point of the energy sword and jumped up. Thus, he disappeared. I lay on the floor, crying softly. Harrison stood, shakily. Kuwabara helped me up, Yuske and Link hiding behind Tails's machine. Tails shook his head.
"What did I tell you guys? Now he's gonna have his minions after you if you can't get Leah to stop him."
"What… What was he saying?" Harrison asked Yuske. Yuske and Link walked into the corridor.
"Speaking Japanese. First, he said 'dead cow'. Then he called Erin 'tasty'. He already tried to eat her. Then he called Kuwabara 'pretty food'. He must be hungry." "Be on your guard, then." Link told us. I wiped the tears and blood from my face. We waved goodbye to Tails, and he closed the door behind us. I leaned against Kuwabara, still scared.
"I though he was gonna try to eat me again." I said softly. Kuwabara smiled and hugged me.
"I told ya, baby sister: He ain't gonna eat you without eatin' me first." We walked on, all on high alert. Link walked in front, with Yuske tagging at the end of the procession. Harrison was seriously afraid now, and I comforted him.
"Don't worry, Mr. Truancy Officer, sir. He won't try to eat you until he knows you." Mr. Harrison hid his eyes in his hands.
"Thanks a lot, kid."
"Shh. Listen." Link whispered. Yuske caught up with us and got Renech at the ready. It was the steady sound of an internal combustion engine, and it was getting closer. "No, it can't be. Not yet." I whimpered. Kuwabara held me closer. I hid my eyes in his shirt. With a roar, a huge red motorcycle leapt above us, its riders whooping. It landed, tires skidding as it turned to face us. The two riders, a boy with a black bowl cut and a girl with wild green hair, smiled at us. The girl stood up, looking at us. I looked up at her. Her mouth opened to reveal sharp white teeth that gleamed like a cheesy lens flare.
"I LIKE PIE!" She yelled.
"LEAH!" we yelled back. She hopped off of the motorcycle and came running toward us, arms spread wide. She passed us up and ran right into Mr. Harrison and caught him in a crushing embrace.
"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!" She squeezed him and he squeaked in terror. The man on the motorcycle put out the kickstand and walked over to us.
"Hey, long time no see." He said to Kuwabara and Yuske. They all gave each other weird handshakes (never could figger 'em out O_O) and laughed. I smiled. Kaneda wasn't one of the weird ones. He looked over at me.
"Yo, Kaneda. How's life treatin' ya?" I asked, giving him a high five. Our knuckles met, and he answered.
"Life sucks." He said with a wink. He then walked over to Leah, who still had our friend the truancy officer in her death grip, and poked her on the shoulder.
"Yes, O Kaneda, the one I love?" She asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Put the nice man down now, Leah."
"I obey you, O love." Leah said as Mr. Harrison fell in a heap at her feet. She glomped him.
"Anyway…" Harrison said as he brushed himself off, "About this school business…"
"NO!" We all yelled at the same time. Kaneda's friendly gaze turned to hate. "What now?" He asked. Harrison cowed under the gaze.
"Leah and her siblings all have to start back in school." Mr. Harrison said without thinking of what horrible things brewed in Kaneda's mind. The red motorcycle was lifted up over Kaneda's head, his eyes ablaze with hate.
"I HATE SCHOOL!!"
"Put the motor bike down, dear." Leah mused. Humbled, Kaneda set it down.
"Yea, Leah, this dude says that we all gotta go back to school." Yuske said. Link was silent. He didn't like gang peeplz.
"Do I get food stuffs?" She asked.
"Yes, lunch is provided." Harrison told us. All of the people present, save Harrison, joined hands and went around in a circle.
"FOOD STUFFS, FOOD STUFFS, FOOD STUFFS, YAY!" We all chanted.
"Kotta jin dansu!!" The crazy guy appeared out of nowhere. We all stopped dancing quickly. My eyes grew wide. Out of the shadows materialized his minions. They raised their hands out as if to grab our very souls from our bodies. The strangling cry in my throat changed its mind about halfway up and came out as a laugh. The mindless minions walked straight into doors, walls, each other… whatever was in their way. Kuwabara, next to me, breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone put their weapons to their sides as the crazy dude back flipped toward Leah. She put her hand out, stopping him in his tracks.
"Baka sonkei. I told you, Mugetsu: No using minions to do your evil deeds before dinner." Mugetsu hung his head in shame.
"It was the evil minions who told me to do it!"
"They can't think for themselves, bakamono." Leah rapped him over the head with a stick that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
"Well… I told them to tell me to do it!"
"I… don't understand…" Harrison squeaked, mortally terrified. He poked one of the minions in the back, not getting a reaction out of it.
"Oh, Mugetsu has complete and total control of these worthless minions and they react to his every whim. That's all."
"If that's all… I'll never be able to talk to anyone normally ever again, thanks to you kids."
"Thank you." I said as I bowed.
"Ready, dinner is. Come you must if eating is what you wish to do." Leah changed her voice to sound like Yoda. Her cloak whirled around her, and she disappeared with a puff of smoke. Harrison blinked rapidly for a few minutes, then Yuske smacked the back of his head.
"Hey, she said food! That means we move and get not hungry!" Harrison couldn't move.
"I'm afraid that Leah's done it again." Link sighed sadly. He took out some rope and tied it around the truancy officer's hands and feet. Link and Yuske took the ropes that were about his hands, and Kuwabara and I handled maneuvering the feet. We dragged him along, straining to do so.
"Jesus," Yuske breathed, "Just how many burgers can one guy eat?"
"I think Mr. Harrison was a garbage disposal in a former life." I answered, gritting my teeth.
"Here, let us help you with that." I heard a heavy voice call from the shadows. I turned to look, and I saw a man in a large coat with a big arzed sword and a man with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. They each grabbed two ropes and pulled the truancy officer along like he was a beach ball. Why a beach ball? It's round, like our dear friend, the unconscious Mr. Harrison.
"Nice to see you again, Auron… Lafarga…" I said, smiling. Lafarga smiled back.
"Nice to see someone else with half a sane mind, Erin. The minions are the worst of it."
"And where might Spike be this fine evening?" The older man asked, pushing up his sunglasses.
"Playin' poker, what else?" Kuwabara answered, catching up to us. He gave me a fake punch on the shoulder. "Leave the old guys to Leah, huh?" He said playfully.
"Only old in some respects, eh, Auron?" Lafarga said with a laugh. We came upon wooden double doors that were bigger than those of our mansion. It took all six of us to open it. Inside was a huge dirt arena, with, barely visible, a table in the middle. It took us five minutes to get to the table in the middle, where Leah was hovering, asleep.
"Urgh…" Leah said dreamily, "A little higher, Spikey… There ya go. Now here's the hammer… A little to the left… Pretty picture… Don't hit your finger… BLARGH!" She woke up suddenly, breathing hard. "No… He hit his finger and got a boo-boo!" Tears welled in her eyes and she blew her nose into the hand of an evil minion. Link turned away and put his hands over his mouth. Leah looked over at us.
"Fambly!" She cried, her arms stretching to the sky. Everyone but Link and the incapacitated Harrison imitated her gesture. "Food orders, Mugetsu!" The man in gray with an odd mask with bars on it fell out of the sky and plopped down on the dusty floor. He looked around at the shadows. Out of the shadows (there are a lot of shadows in this place, huh?) stepped the mindless evil minions. Each one had a chef's hat on and an apron that said 'Kiss the Evil Minion' on it. They each had a clipboard in their hands. Harrison began to stir, and we helped him to his feet. One came close to me and groaned loudly. I nodded.
"Yes, the cow sounds good." I told him. Harrison raised his hand.
"I'll have the hamburger as well, if you don't mind." He said, oblivious to the meaning of cow.
"No, no, no, Mr. Harrison. Cow: not hamburger. I'll have mine black and white." "Can mine be just plain old brown?" Yuske asked.
"I'd like mine albino." Kuwabara said. "I like mine rare." Link shook his head. "Is there any way I can get mine cooked? Raw food makes me sick." The mindless minion moaned in agreement. Harrison looked pale, as if he were going to be sick.
"I'll have a cooked cow, like Link, please." A vile feeling was pushing its way through his insides. It didn't help that Leah "rang the dinner bell." Her lips formed around the immense mouthpiece of a giant saxophone. Her whole mouth couldn't fit around the huge mouthpiece, seeing as it was three feet in diameter. Her evil-looking eyes searched those assembled.
"Ah HA! Auron, Lafarga, assist me, please." The two eagerly ran up to help her by fitting their mouths onto the mouthpiece as well. I covered my ears, and suggested that Harrison do so as well. Too late. The three story high saxophone seemed to explode with sound, as there was no one large enough to press any buttons. The single, scratchy, wavering note garbled its way through the halls of the Castle, boring into my brain in the process of calling the family to dinner. The note, along with the breath of those producing the note, died slowly and squeaked into non-existence. Mr. Harrison fell to his knees; his eyes wide and pupils contracted almost to the point of being gone. The family unplugged their ears and went to attending to the poor truancy officer. Kuwabara grabbed Mr. Harrison's right arm and pulled him to his feet. Harrison could only stare in shock. "Stop bein' a wimp, Harrison. Saya's a girl, and she can stand it." Harrison brushed himself off. A sudden cold voice pierced the air and Kuwabara stod shock still.
"Why do you have something against me, younger brother? Have I been nothing but a sister to you? Or am I just another girl!?" A cold white hand wrapped around the back of my older brother's neck, its fingers at his pressure points. His pupils contracted in fear. My light saber buzzed as it stopped mere millimeters from Saya's arm. Her icy eyes glared up at me with hate.
"Leave him alone, Saya, or you mess with me." Her hand retracted from his neck, and she walked closer to the congregation of people gathering at the table. People were coming through the immense double doors, and I could just make out who some of them were. I could see Malus in his long coat, Ferio with his big arzed sword, a yellow ball of light that could only be Shadow in a hurry… A red-haired teenager bounded into the room like a frog, leaping onto the backs of others… Ed. After her walked a boy with a red cape and spiked up black hair. It was Tetsuo. A man in blue with a giant metal cross on his back walked in last. Saya, Malus and Leah glared at the cross and hissed. They recoiled into their seats and I ran up to greet my brother.
"Nicholas!" I cried, flinging my arms around his neck. He stumbled back because of the unbalance I created against the cross. "Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I missed you!" He patted me on the back.
"You can stop trying to kill me now, little sister." He said, trying to breathe. I let go of his neck. Kuwabara crossed his arms, a faint smile flickering across his face. Nicholas nodded in his direction.
"Is he still worried that I'll knock you out with this cross?" He asked, ruffling my hair. I knocked his hand away playfully.
"Probably. He's always been too overprotective. At least that big ass cross you keep with you will keep Saya off his back."
"Oh, is Saya trying to kill him again?" Nicholas asked with a smile as we began walking toward the table.
"It's only the first time this evening." I answered casually. Kuwabara met us halfway, putting himself between the cross and me. Now that everyone had gathered at the table, the minions began to take the orders from the newcomers. Saya ordered a black cow with O positive blood. Nicholas asked for a green cow, but they were all out so he got a black and white. Shadow demanded that he get a calf that was brown and white. Tetsuo glared evilly at the minion and it backed away from him. Ed was last to order, and this was what she said:
"Ed is hungry! Ed wants food!" She cried as she banged her feet on the table. A minion groaned at her and she hopped up onto it, knocking her knuckles against its head. "Ed doesn't want to eat poor moo-cows! Ed wants pudding! Pudding!!" Growling, Ed fitted her mouth around the minion's head, trying to chew it noisily. Leah hopped onto the same minion and chewed on its left arm. Mugetsu began biting on that minion's ankle. I latched onto the minion's right shoulder, trying to eat it sloppily. The minion, thoroughly confused, dropped to the ground. A different minion brought a bowl of pudding to Ed. She squeaked with joy and hopped up onto the table. I ruffled Mr. Harrison's hair. He withdrew from me, frightened.
There was a large metallic clang as Nicholas set his cross down in the dirt. The vampires got a look of hate in their eyes and slunk quietly to the other side of the table. I grabbed a seat between Nicholas and Kuwabara, a spoon in each hand. Mr. Harrison sat next to Link and Lafarga across from me and looked at his spoons questionably.
"How can you eat a cow with spoons?"
"You don't silly!" I told him, throwing the spoons aside. The cows were dropped onto their appropriate plates and we jumped on top of our cows and began attacking them like lions would gazelles. Harrison screamed like a girl and backed away. Leah looked up from her cow and screamed to mock him. Mugetsu, his cow now in his stomach, screamed along with Harrison and Leah. I smacked my lips and patted my stomach. That was a good cow! I looked at the hamburger sitting quietly on Mr. Harrison's plate. It levitated and floated over to Tetsuo, who then began munching on it thoughtfully. He glanced over at Kaneda, then over to me. He smiled in his odd sort of way. Then it dawned on me! I knew what Tetsuo was thinking.
"Hey Kaneda!" I yelled for my red caped brother. The biker in the red jacket looked over. I pulled my orange tinted biking goggles out of my pocket and strapped them over my hair. Kaneda smiled devilishly, pulling his own goggles over his eyes. Tetsuo stood from the table, pointing to the shadows of the room. Five motorcycles, controlled by his powers, levitated in front of us, and Kaneda grabbed his bike while Tetsuo climbed onto his. I looked at the two that were empty after I was on mine. "Tetsuo, who are those for?" I asked.
"Kai and Yamagata, who else?" He told me. I smiled happily. The gang was back together! Harrison, awake again after fainting, looked at the three of us on the bikes and two more strange people running toward the empty ones in horror.
"Don't worry," Kuwabara whispered in his ear, "They're racing on the path around the edges of the room… Or at least they're supposed to…"
"Comforting, Kuwabara. Very comforting." Harrison's voice quavered.
"Cut it out, Link."
"Yea, seriously." I voiced.
"WHO DARES ENTER THE GATES OF THE MAZE!! SPEAK NOW AND I WILL NOT DESTROY EVERY FIBER OF YOUR MORTAL SOUL!!"
"Just us, Smaug." Kuwabara said. The red dragon lifted his head far above the tops of the hedge maze. He smiled.
"Ah yes. Where are you traveling to now, family?" We all hung our heads. Tears were in my eyes as I spoke to our Dragon.
"The… The Castle…" Smaug gasped and leapt to his feet.
"Surely not! To go there, among those… things! Surely you speak of nothing but… Death!"
"Don't try to talk us out of it, Smaug." Yuske said. He put his hands behind his head. "Being dead isn't so bad." I started to cry again, and shoved my face into my hands. Mr. Harrison was not only scared to death by seeing a dragon, but he was now thoroughly frightened.
"What's so horrible over there that you think that you could die?" He asked, his voice quavering. Kuwabara got a real serious look on his face and glared down at the frightened Mr. Harrison.
"Four words: The Insane Arts."
"That's eight, big brother." I told him.
"Of course not," said Link, "it's only one!"
"You're all wrong," Yuske informed us, "it's twelve."
"I keep finding more and more reasons to send you all to school." Harrison grumbled.
"If you must go, please, try to return safely. My food bowl won't be as full without you." We walked off, waving goodbye to our faithful pet Dragon. I turned on my light saber and threw Renech to Yuske.
"Why does everyone in this house have some sort of weapon?" Mr. Harrison asked. I jumped up on top of his shoulders.
"YOU CAN NEVER BE TO CAREFUL, MR. TRUANCY MAN!!" I jumped off of him and pointed forward. "Through that door, we go down into a room that leads to the tunnel. The tunnel connects the Villa to the Castle, where the insane part of the family resides. The tunnel used to be very big and confoozyness, but my bro-bro Knuckles dug and dug. He made it a pretty hallway."
"Confoozyness eh? Spelling Bee material, that is… Confoozyness…" Mr. Harrison hung his head. Link opened the door and we all stepped inside. There was a long flight of stairs leading down to a room that ended in a coffin. The truancy officer shuddered.
"Are you sure we're in the right room?" He asked, creeped out.
"Of course." Kuwabara said, opening the lid of the coffin.
"GYAHHHH!!!" The thing in the coffin popped out, screaming wildly, clinging to Mr. Harrison's face. He screamed, trying to pry it off of his face.
"Tom!" Yuske yelled, holding the Spirit Gun up to the robot's head. "Let the nice man's face go!" Tom Servo dropped to the floor and grabbed onto my foot.
"I was locked in that stupid coffin I ordered from The Screaming Skull! Now wasn't that a predicament?" He laughed and hovered off, closing the door behind him. Harrison lay on the floor, his breathing ragged and labored. Link grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet.
"Don't let Tom scare you. He and Crow just like to mess with the minds of our guests." I hopped into the coffin and disappeared through the hole in the bottom. My brothers and cousin followed me, and Mr. Harrison reluctantly followed. We dropped down into the tunnel. At the very end of the hall/tunnel was a light. I began to hyperventilate.
"What if he tries to eat me again?! I can't stand the pressure! Help!" I started to back up, but Kuwabara pulled me back, shielding my eyes.
"It'll be okay, baby sister. I'm here. He won't eat you without eatin' me first!" It took a little over 5 minutes to walk through the whole hall. I pawed at Kuwabara's arm in fear, and he put his hand on my head. Harrison began to grow extremely nervous.
"Who tried to eat what, now?" He asked me. I began to shake, and Kuwabara glared at the truancy officer.
"Why don't you just shut up and you'll find out who's eating who soon enough." Harrison was dead silent. He was seriously thinking this was a bad idea. Then again, we had warned him. The door at the end of the tunnel opened up into a dimly lit room. In the far corner of the room was a yellow fox with two tails. In his hand was a great big wrench. He was standing next to a huge blue machine. He squinted to look at us.
"Erin? Link, Kuwabara and Yuske too? You guys came back? Wow! I never thought you'd ever want to come here again!" He ran over to us and laughed.
"What're you workin' on now, Tails?" Yuske asked, glancing at the machine.
"Oh, just fixing up the hyper coraterial trioculator on the PD80006429 Tornado." "Oh, that old thing." Kuwabara said. Harrison scratched his head. This kid seemed nice… and smart too. There seemed to be no problem what-so-ever with the Castle… "We can't stay here for too long." Link said. "We have business within the Castle." Tails stopped laughing suddenly and his mouth grew into a thin line. His eyes nervously darted across the room.
"I, uh… Can't help you there, guys… It's either here or the attic for me. Just… Just be careful. You can't trust those minions, you know."
"We know." I said quietly. A tense air filled the room. Link's hand nervously found the doorknob and settled on it. He began to sweat.
"Okay, guys. I'm opening the door." He grabbed his Master Sword. Kuwabara formed his Rei-kai and I turned on the light saber. The door slowly creaked open like in those cheesy horror films. I hid my eyes. There was a long, empty stone corridor lit by torches. Kuwabara's grip on my shoulder tightened. Mr. Harrison began to walk forward into the corridor. Yuske gasped.
"No, you fool!"
"Deddo ushi! KEE-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Out of nowhere, a man in gray hopped directly in front of Harrison's face, then began bounding around the corridor, laughing insanely. Mr. Harrison screamed and fell back onto his large booty. I charged in, light saber first. All of my attacks missed, and the mad man kept slapping and punching me in the oddest of places, such as the shoulder and kneecap and whatnot. I fell to the ground near Harrison, a cut on my face.
"Ooh, kotta!" The madman said as he stood over me. I screamed.
"No! Not kotta!!" Kuwabara yelled, taking into mind that it was Japanese for tasty. He pointed the tip of the Rei-kai at the mad man's neck. The oddball smiled like a frog.
"Ooh, Kuwabara! Puriti fu-do!" He back flipped away from the point of the energy sword and jumped up. Thus, he disappeared. I lay on the floor, crying softly. Harrison stood, shakily. Kuwabara helped me up, Yuske and Link hiding behind Tails's machine. Tails shook his head.
"What did I tell you guys? Now he's gonna have his minions after you if you can't get Leah to stop him."
"What… What was he saying?" Harrison asked Yuske. Yuske and Link walked into the corridor.
"Speaking Japanese. First, he said 'dead cow'. Then he called Erin 'tasty'. He already tried to eat her. Then he called Kuwabara 'pretty food'. He must be hungry." "Be on your guard, then." Link told us. I wiped the tears and blood from my face. We waved goodbye to Tails, and he closed the door behind us. I leaned against Kuwabara, still scared.
"I though he was gonna try to eat me again." I said softly. Kuwabara smiled and hugged me.
"I told ya, baby sister: He ain't gonna eat you without eatin' me first." We walked on, all on high alert. Link walked in front, with Yuske tagging at the end of the procession. Harrison was seriously afraid now, and I comforted him.
"Don't worry, Mr. Truancy Officer, sir. He won't try to eat you until he knows you." Mr. Harrison hid his eyes in his hands.
"Thanks a lot, kid."
"Shh. Listen." Link whispered. Yuske caught up with us and got Renech at the ready. It was the steady sound of an internal combustion engine, and it was getting closer. "No, it can't be. Not yet." I whimpered. Kuwabara held me closer. I hid my eyes in his shirt. With a roar, a huge red motorcycle leapt above us, its riders whooping. It landed, tires skidding as it turned to face us. The two riders, a boy with a black bowl cut and a girl with wild green hair, smiled at us. The girl stood up, looking at us. I looked up at her. Her mouth opened to reveal sharp white teeth that gleamed like a cheesy lens flare.
"I LIKE PIE!" She yelled.
"LEAH!" we yelled back. She hopped off of the motorcycle and came running toward us, arms spread wide. She passed us up and ran right into Mr. Harrison and caught him in a crushing embrace.
"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!" She squeezed him and he squeaked in terror. The man on the motorcycle put out the kickstand and walked over to us.
"Hey, long time no see." He said to Kuwabara and Yuske. They all gave each other weird handshakes (never could figger 'em out O_O) and laughed. I smiled. Kaneda wasn't one of the weird ones. He looked over at me.
"Yo, Kaneda. How's life treatin' ya?" I asked, giving him a high five. Our knuckles met, and he answered.
"Life sucks." He said with a wink. He then walked over to Leah, who still had our friend the truancy officer in her death grip, and poked her on the shoulder.
"Yes, O Kaneda, the one I love?" She asked, looking over her shoulder.
"Put the nice man down now, Leah."
"I obey you, O love." Leah said as Mr. Harrison fell in a heap at her feet. She glomped him.
"Anyway…" Harrison said as he brushed himself off, "About this school business…"
"NO!" We all yelled at the same time. Kaneda's friendly gaze turned to hate. "What now?" He asked. Harrison cowed under the gaze.
"Leah and her siblings all have to start back in school." Mr. Harrison said without thinking of what horrible things brewed in Kaneda's mind. The red motorcycle was lifted up over Kaneda's head, his eyes ablaze with hate.
"I HATE SCHOOL!!"
"Put the motor bike down, dear." Leah mused. Humbled, Kaneda set it down.
"Yea, Leah, this dude says that we all gotta go back to school." Yuske said. Link was silent. He didn't like gang peeplz.
"Do I get food stuffs?" She asked.
"Yes, lunch is provided." Harrison told us. All of the people present, save Harrison, joined hands and went around in a circle.
"FOOD STUFFS, FOOD STUFFS, FOOD STUFFS, YAY!" We all chanted.
"Kotta jin dansu!!" The crazy guy appeared out of nowhere. We all stopped dancing quickly. My eyes grew wide. Out of the shadows materialized his minions. They raised their hands out as if to grab our very souls from our bodies. The strangling cry in my throat changed its mind about halfway up and came out as a laugh. The mindless minions walked straight into doors, walls, each other… whatever was in their way. Kuwabara, next to me, breathed a sigh of relief. Everyone put their weapons to their sides as the crazy dude back flipped toward Leah. She put her hand out, stopping him in his tracks.
"Baka sonkei. I told you, Mugetsu: No using minions to do your evil deeds before dinner." Mugetsu hung his head in shame.
"It was the evil minions who told me to do it!"
"They can't think for themselves, bakamono." Leah rapped him over the head with a stick that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.
"Well… I told them to tell me to do it!"
"I… don't understand…" Harrison squeaked, mortally terrified. He poked one of the minions in the back, not getting a reaction out of it.
"Oh, Mugetsu has complete and total control of these worthless minions and they react to his every whim. That's all."
"If that's all… I'll never be able to talk to anyone normally ever again, thanks to you kids."
"Thank you." I said as I bowed.
"Ready, dinner is. Come you must if eating is what you wish to do." Leah changed her voice to sound like Yoda. Her cloak whirled around her, and she disappeared with a puff of smoke. Harrison blinked rapidly for a few minutes, then Yuske smacked the back of his head.
"Hey, she said food! That means we move and get not hungry!" Harrison couldn't move.
"I'm afraid that Leah's done it again." Link sighed sadly. He took out some rope and tied it around the truancy officer's hands and feet. Link and Yuske took the ropes that were about his hands, and Kuwabara and I handled maneuvering the feet. We dragged him along, straining to do so.
"Jesus," Yuske breathed, "Just how many burgers can one guy eat?"
"I think Mr. Harrison was a garbage disposal in a former life." I answered, gritting my teeth.
"Here, let us help you with that." I heard a heavy voice call from the shadows. I turned to look, and I saw a man in a large coat with a big arzed sword and a man with blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail. They each grabbed two ropes and pulled the truancy officer along like he was a beach ball. Why a beach ball? It's round, like our dear friend, the unconscious Mr. Harrison.
"Nice to see you again, Auron… Lafarga…" I said, smiling. Lafarga smiled back.
"Nice to see someone else with half a sane mind, Erin. The minions are the worst of it."
"And where might Spike be this fine evening?" The older man asked, pushing up his sunglasses.
"Playin' poker, what else?" Kuwabara answered, catching up to us. He gave me a fake punch on the shoulder. "Leave the old guys to Leah, huh?" He said playfully.
"Only old in some respects, eh, Auron?" Lafarga said with a laugh. We came upon wooden double doors that were bigger than those of our mansion. It took all six of us to open it. Inside was a huge dirt arena, with, barely visible, a table in the middle. It took us five minutes to get to the table in the middle, where Leah was hovering, asleep.
"Urgh…" Leah said dreamily, "A little higher, Spikey… There ya go. Now here's the hammer… A little to the left… Pretty picture… Don't hit your finger… BLARGH!" She woke up suddenly, breathing hard. "No… He hit his finger and got a boo-boo!" Tears welled in her eyes and she blew her nose into the hand of an evil minion. Link turned away and put his hands over his mouth. Leah looked over at us.
"Fambly!" She cried, her arms stretching to the sky. Everyone but Link and the incapacitated Harrison imitated her gesture. "Food orders, Mugetsu!" The man in gray with an odd mask with bars on it fell out of the sky and plopped down on the dusty floor. He looked around at the shadows. Out of the shadows (there are a lot of shadows in this place, huh?) stepped the mindless evil minions. Each one had a chef's hat on and an apron that said 'Kiss the Evil Minion' on it. They each had a clipboard in their hands. Harrison began to stir, and we helped him to his feet. One came close to me and groaned loudly. I nodded.
"Yes, the cow sounds good." I told him. Harrison raised his hand.
"I'll have the hamburger as well, if you don't mind." He said, oblivious to the meaning of cow.
"No, no, no, Mr. Harrison. Cow: not hamburger. I'll have mine black and white." "Can mine be just plain old brown?" Yuske asked.
"I'd like mine albino." Kuwabara said. "I like mine rare." Link shook his head. "Is there any way I can get mine cooked? Raw food makes me sick." The mindless minion moaned in agreement. Harrison looked pale, as if he were going to be sick.
"I'll have a cooked cow, like Link, please." A vile feeling was pushing its way through his insides. It didn't help that Leah "rang the dinner bell." Her lips formed around the immense mouthpiece of a giant saxophone. Her whole mouth couldn't fit around the huge mouthpiece, seeing as it was three feet in diameter. Her evil-looking eyes searched those assembled.
"Ah HA! Auron, Lafarga, assist me, please." The two eagerly ran up to help her by fitting their mouths onto the mouthpiece as well. I covered my ears, and suggested that Harrison do so as well. Too late. The three story high saxophone seemed to explode with sound, as there was no one large enough to press any buttons. The single, scratchy, wavering note garbled its way through the halls of the Castle, boring into my brain in the process of calling the family to dinner. The note, along with the breath of those producing the note, died slowly and squeaked into non-existence. Mr. Harrison fell to his knees; his eyes wide and pupils contracted almost to the point of being gone. The family unplugged their ears and went to attending to the poor truancy officer. Kuwabara grabbed Mr. Harrison's right arm and pulled him to his feet. Harrison could only stare in shock. "Stop bein' a wimp, Harrison. Saya's a girl, and she can stand it." Harrison brushed himself off. A sudden cold voice pierced the air and Kuwabara stod shock still.
"Why do you have something against me, younger brother? Have I been nothing but a sister to you? Or am I just another girl!?" A cold white hand wrapped around the back of my older brother's neck, its fingers at his pressure points. His pupils contracted in fear. My light saber buzzed as it stopped mere millimeters from Saya's arm. Her icy eyes glared up at me with hate.
"Leave him alone, Saya, or you mess with me." Her hand retracted from his neck, and she walked closer to the congregation of people gathering at the table. People were coming through the immense double doors, and I could just make out who some of them were. I could see Malus in his long coat, Ferio with his big arzed sword, a yellow ball of light that could only be Shadow in a hurry… A red-haired teenager bounded into the room like a frog, leaping onto the backs of others… Ed. After her walked a boy with a red cape and spiked up black hair. It was Tetsuo. A man in blue with a giant metal cross on his back walked in last. Saya, Malus and Leah glared at the cross and hissed. They recoiled into their seats and I ran up to greet my brother.
"Nicholas!" I cried, flinging my arms around his neck. He stumbled back because of the unbalance I created against the cross. "Nicholas D. Wolfwood, I missed you!" He patted me on the back.
"You can stop trying to kill me now, little sister." He said, trying to breathe. I let go of his neck. Kuwabara crossed his arms, a faint smile flickering across his face. Nicholas nodded in his direction.
"Is he still worried that I'll knock you out with this cross?" He asked, ruffling my hair. I knocked his hand away playfully.
"Probably. He's always been too overprotective. At least that big ass cross you keep with you will keep Saya off his back."
"Oh, is Saya trying to kill him again?" Nicholas asked with a smile as we began walking toward the table.
"It's only the first time this evening." I answered casually. Kuwabara met us halfway, putting himself between the cross and me. Now that everyone had gathered at the table, the minions began to take the orders from the newcomers. Saya ordered a black cow with O positive blood. Nicholas asked for a green cow, but they were all out so he got a black and white. Shadow demanded that he get a calf that was brown and white. Tetsuo glared evilly at the minion and it backed away from him. Ed was last to order, and this was what she said:
"Ed is hungry! Ed wants food!" She cried as she banged her feet on the table. A minion groaned at her and she hopped up onto it, knocking her knuckles against its head. "Ed doesn't want to eat poor moo-cows! Ed wants pudding! Pudding!!" Growling, Ed fitted her mouth around the minion's head, trying to chew it noisily. Leah hopped onto the same minion and chewed on its left arm. Mugetsu began biting on that minion's ankle. I latched onto the minion's right shoulder, trying to eat it sloppily. The minion, thoroughly confused, dropped to the ground. A different minion brought a bowl of pudding to Ed. She squeaked with joy and hopped up onto the table. I ruffled Mr. Harrison's hair. He withdrew from me, frightened.
There was a large metallic clang as Nicholas set his cross down in the dirt. The vampires got a look of hate in their eyes and slunk quietly to the other side of the table. I grabbed a seat between Nicholas and Kuwabara, a spoon in each hand. Mr. Harrison sat next to Link and Lafarga across from me and looked at his spoons questionably.
"How can you eat a cow with spoons?"
"You don't silly!" I told him, throwing the spoons aside. The cows were dropped onto their appropriate plates and we jumped on top of our cows and began attacking them like lions would gazelles. Harrison screamed like a girl and backed away. Leah looked up from her cow and screamed to mock him. Mugetsu, his cow now in his stomach, screamed along with Harrison and Leah. I smacked my lips and patted my stomach. That was a good cow! I looked at the hamburger sitting quietly on Mr. Harrison's plate. It levitated and floated over to Tetsuo, who then began munching on it thoughtfully. He glanced over at Kaneda, then over to me. He smiled in his odd sort of way. Then it dawned on me! I knew what Tetsuo was thinking.
"Hey Kaneda!" I yelled for my red caped brother. The biker in the red jacket looked over. I pulled my orange tinted biking goggles out of my pocket and strapped them over my hair. Kaneda smiled devilishly, pulling his own goggles over his eyes. Tetsuo stood from the table, pointing to the shadows of the room. Five motorcycles, controlled by his powers, levitated in front of us, and Kaneda grabbed his bike while Tetsuo climbed onto his. I looked at the two that were empty after I was on mine. "Tetsuo, who are those for?" I asked.
"Kai and Yamagata, who else?" He told me. I smiled happily. The gang was back together! Harrison, awake again after fainting, looked at the three of us on the bikes and two more strange people running toward the empty ones in horror.
"Don't worry," Kuwabara whispered in his ear, "They're racing on the path around the edges of the room… Or at least they're supposed to…"
"Comforting, Kuwabara. Very comforting." Harrison's voice quavered.