The cafeteria was a big place. It had tables set at strategically placed intervals along the gym floor. They looked like fake picnic tables on wheels. Of course, we knew what picnic tables looked like, because we had taken a trip to Pennsylvania a while ago. (more on that later ;P) There was a line along one of the large walls of the gym, which was now being used as the cafeteria. We all lined up, as Mr. Harrison had showed us. I stuck my hands into the cargo pockets of my khakis and pulled out my lunch money! Oh joy!
Botan and Knuckles were ahead of me in line. I saw that a fat old lady in a hair net with way too much eye shadow shoved a Styrofoam plate with a rectangular piece of pizza and some green cylindrical shapes that might or might not have been green beans. Botan sniffed them lightly and made a disgusted face. The fat lady harumphed and shoved the same thing toward Knuckles. The poor echidna was still mourning the loss of his knuckles. I was eager to see him meet up with Harrison. I felt rough Styrofoam shoved into my hands, and at once I saw the reason Botan had sniffed at it. The green cylindrical objects were swimming in a vile-looking liquid that in no way possible could have been healthy for me. The "pizza" looked like a piece of oily rubber slapped onto a piece of cardboard, held together by thick, red super glue. It, too, was swimming in a clear, vile smelling liquid. It may have been grease, but if it was, it was made no more appetizing. I looked, disgusted, at the old fat lady in the hair net and she motioned for me to move toward a skinny, wrinkly short, old woman sitting next to the cash register. I tried to make my disgusted face go away, but the look was stuck to my face. I walked forward with foreboding dread.
"Money, please, dear." The frail old woman at the cash register demanded. My shaking hand deposited the two dollars in her hand, afraid that the extra weight of the dollar bills would make her hand fall off the wrist. Luckily, I was spared this unfortunate happening, and I moved on, clutching the dime I had been given as change. I saw the bike gang sitting at a table, and Kai waved me over. I smiled and ran over to them. Kaneda sat across from me with Kai and I sat next to Yamagata. Tetsuo sat on the other side of Kaneda, knowing that my overprotective brothers would want to keep me out of trouble.
I was surprised when Spike sat on the other side of me, followed by Leah, then Vash. Vash, despite the green cylinders and the oily pizza, had piled his tray high with fresh doughnuts. He licked his lips, and offered one to Leah, who took it gladly. She stuck it in her mouth, then glared at me. I glanced at Kaneda, then back to Leah. I felt Yamagata tap me on the shoulder, and I gladly turned away from Leah's evil stare. I saw a cookie in my face when I thought I would see Yamagata. I screamed.
"YAMAGATA'S HEAD TURNED INTO A COOKIE!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The whole cafeteria turned to stare at me, but I looked again, and saw he was just offering me a cookie from the bag of them he had bought. I made an "Ohhh," sound and looked back at the cafeteria.
"MY MISTAKE! IT'S A NORMAL HEAD!" I turned back to Yamagata and the cookie, smiling like the idiot I was.
"I'm not sure you should really have this…" Yamagata, the hint of a sarcastic smile on his face.
"Who are you fooling, old boy?" I asked jovially, taking the cookie, "Everyone needs a cookie sometimes!" I snacked on the beautiful cookie, savoring every wonderful bite of its cookie-ness. I sighed and smiled warmly at the cookie. I glanced back over at Yamagata, wanting to thank him for the cookie, but he looked away quickly and seemed very preoccupied with the green cylinders in front of him. I gave him a quizzical look that he didn't see, and went back to munching on the cookie.
My eyes drifted to the other members of my family. I saw Botan and Ed sitting together, and Botan started laughing for some odd reason. Yuske was just down the table from us, and he was talking to someone I didn't know, punctuating every word with his fork. Pippin and Merry were sitting together, arguing with a woman wearing a whistle. I think they were yelling about the absence of alcohol in the building.
"This is an elementary school! Why would you expect to find a 'pint' in such a building?!"
"Because, no offense for not noticing ma'am, but we're not children." Merry pointed out.
"Merry's right: We're Hobbits, or at least that's what we call ourselves. I'm exactly 29, and my dear cousin is 35, give or take a month or two. As you see, we're well over the age…" I lost track of the conversation as I looked over at Nicholas and Kuwabara sitting together. Neither had their food in front of them, but rather they had pushed them to a convenient spot that was being stared at greedily by a group of kids. Kuwabara yelled at them, and they scattered like cockroaches in the light. Nicholas shook his head and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.
I suddenly found out why Botan had been laughing. A greasy piece of pizza landed on my cheek, grease splattering all over my face and into my hair. I made the most disgusted look I could muster, and I ripped the revolting thing from my face, but before I could retaliate, Yamagata stood up and hurled his own piece of pizza at Ed, who was pointing at me and laughing. Yamagata's pizza landed hard in Ed's hair, and she suddenly began screaming while she jumped up and down on the table.
"FOOD FIGHT!! FOOD FIGHT!!" Her adolescent shrieks reached the ceiling, and no one argued with the notion. My hand scooped up the disgusting piece of pizza from my tray as well as the one that Ed had planted on my face. One zoomed for Tails while the other one landed with a squelch on Merrill. Food flew everywhere, and no one cared but the teachers, who yelled themselves hoarse but didn't do a damn thing to stop us. I was plastered in pizza grease and I had green cylinders that might or might not have been green beans in my hair. I laughed as I turned around and tipped the juices that the green objects had been floating in, along with the swimming pool the pizza had been in, onto Spike's head. He smashed his tray over my head, and I dove at his middle, knocking him to the floor.
More food had dropped onto the floor than onto the participants of the food fight, and Spike's back squelched into pizza. I grabbed some mashed potatoes that were on the floor and threw them into Spike's face. His feet caught my stomach, and I was sent flying up into the air. My back landed on the fake picnic table, and I yelled out. I heard the sound of feet rushing toward Spike, and I had an odd feeling that they weren't going to help him up.
Aha, there he was, being lifted into the air by Tetsuo's powers and, Ah yes, Kuwabara jumping up in the air to kick him in the stomach. I rubbed my eyes and tried to sit up. I saw Leah attacking Kuwabara and Tetsuo, Spike now standing on the fake picnic table next to the one I was sprawled out on. He held his gun toward Kuwabara and Tetsuo as Leah chased them away. I fell back after my attempt to sit up, and Leah cuddled up next to Spike. I felt a greasy hand take mine and pull me up to a sitting position.
"Can't let a friend stay down," Yamagata told me as he shoved a cookie covered in pizza grease into my hand, "Here's some ammo." A smile flickered across his face, and I stood, determined.
"WHO WANTS SOME!!??" I yelled, brandishing my greasy cookie. I felt food battering me from every side, and I weakly threw my cookie at a random face in the crowd. I peeked and saw that I had hit Kaneda between the eyes. He rubbed his forehead in pain, and the last thing I saw was Leah's sharp, pointy teeth inches from my face.
"BLARGH!!" I cried as I shielded my face. Too late. Leah had hopped up onto my back, forcing me to fall to the hard ground. I managed to cushion my fall by landing on my side, but Leah grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into some mashed potatoes that had landed on the floor. I gasped for breath as I emerged from the potatoes, only to have greasy food thrown at me from all angles again. I opened my eyes to see that Leah had me by the collar of my orange plaid jacket, levitating above the crowd. Below me, they were all armed with greasy food, generously supplied by the evil lunch ladies. A thick slice of ham dripping with butter slapped across my face first, then some moldy bread attacked my legs. Peanut butter sandwiches laden with potato chips bombarded my midsection. I opened my mouth to scream, but an old orange hit me in the mouth, and I closed it quickly. I shielded my face, but it was at that moment that Leah decided to drop me. I fell the seven feet that she was holding me above the table and landed on it, making it squeal with strain. I lay there, embarrassed beyond belief more than anything else. I had a hoagie sticking out from my ear, for God's sake! Leah went up to Kaneda and made sure that he was unhurt, concerned. I realized that she was truly worried about him. I smiled inwardly, but I couldn't form my mouth into that shape on the outside.
"What has happened here!?" I heard Ms. Brown's sweet but harsh voice echoed around the cafeteria, and what was left of the food fight stopped. She marched up to the teachers and lunch ladies who had witnessed the food fight while I heard Kuwabara and Merrill running up to me. One of them pulled the hoagie from my ear while the other one helped me to a sitting position.
"Well, I am very disappointed in all of you." Ms. Brown said in a quiet voice. My head drooped. "I'll be taking my class to my room this instant. Come on, Valentines, you heard me. You too, Mages, bikers." Reluctantly, we all followed her, grease dripping off of all of us. I looked over my shoulder to see a line of janitors behind us with mops. Something snapped in my head, and I suddenly found this all hilariously funny. I started giggling at first, but I couldn't hold anything in, and the hall was filled with my raucous laughter. I pointed at me, then I pointed at everyone else, then at myself again. Tears welled in my eyes as a drop of grease fell from on top of my nose and onto my hand. The class was looking back at me, strange smiles forming on their faces. I had to hold my stomach to keep it from hurting I was laughing so hard. I was bent double, tears running from my eyes. I couldn't stand it any more and fell to my knees, shaking with laughter. Nicholas grabbed one of my shoulders while Tetsuo took the other one, and they dragged me along, laughing at the hilarity of it all.
Botan and Knuckles were ahead of me in line. I saw that a fat old lady in a hair net with way too much eye shadow shoved a Styrofoam plate with a rectangular piece of pizza and some green cylindrical shapes that might or might not have been green beans. Botan sniffed them lightly and made a disgusted face. The fat lady harumphed and shoved the same thing toward Knuckles. The poor echidna was still mourning the loss of his knuckles. I was eager to see him meet up with Harrison. I felt rough Styrofoam shoved into my hands, and at once I saw the reason Botan had sniffed at it. The green cylindrical objects were swimming in a vile-looking liquid that in no way possible could have been healthy for me. The "pizza" looked like a piece of oily rubber slapped onto a piece of cardboard, held together by thick, red super glue. It, too, was swimming in a clear, vile smelling liquid. It may have been grease, but if it was, it was made no more appetizing. I looked, disgusted, at the old fat lady in the hair net and she motioned for me to move toward a skinny, wrinkly short, old woman sitting next to the cash register. I tried to make my disgusted face go away, but the look was stuck to my face. I walked forward with foreboding dread.
"Money, please, dear." The frail old woman at the cash register demanded. My shaking hand deposited the two dollars in her hand, afraid that the extra weight of the dollar bills would make her hand fall off the wrist. Luckily, I was spared this unfortunate happening, and I moved on, clutching the dime I had been given as change. I saw the bike gang sitting at a table, and Kai waved me over. I smiled and ran over to them. Kaneda sat across from me with Kai and I sat next to Yamagata. Tetsuo sat on the other side of Kaneda, knowing that my overprotective brothers would want to keep me out of trouble.
I was surprised when Spike sat on the other side of me, followed by Leah, then Vash. Vash, despite the green cylinders and the oily pizza, had piled his tray high with fresh doughnuts. He licked his lips, and offered one to Leah, who took it gladly. She stuck it in her mouth, then glared at me. I glanced at Kaneda, then back to Leah. I felt Yamagata tap me on the shoulder, and I gladly turned away from Leah's evil stare. I saw a cookie in my face when I thought I would see Yamagata. I screamed.
"YAMAGATA'S HEAD TURNED INTO A COOKIE!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. The whole cafeteria turned to stare at me, but I looked again, and saw he was just offering me a cookie from the bag of them he had bought. I made an "Ohhh," sound and looked back at the cafeteria.
"MY MISTAKE! IT'S A NORMAL HEAD!" I turned back to Yamagata and the cookie, smiling like the idiot I was.
"I'm not sure you should really have this…" Yamagata, the hint of a sarcastic smile on his face.
"Who are you fooling, old boy?" I asked jovially, taking the cookie, "Everyone needs a cookie sometimes!" I snacked on the beautiful cookie, savoring every wonderful bite of its cookie-ness. I sighed and smiled warmly at the cookie. I glanced back over at Yamagata, wanting to thank him for the cookie, but he looked away quickly and seemed very preoccupied with the green cylinders in front of him. I gave him a quizzical look that he didn't see, and went back to munching on the cookie.
My eyes drifted to the other members of my family. I saw Botan and Ed sitting together, and Botan started laughing for some odd reason. Yuske was just down the table from us, and he was talking to someone I didn't know, punctuating every word with his fork. Pippin and Merry were sitting together, arguing with a woman wearing a whistle. I think they were yelling about the absence of alcohol in the building.
"This is an elementary school! Why would you expect to find a 'pint' in such a building?!"
"Because, no offense for not noticing ma'am, but we're not children." Merry pointed out.
"Merry's right: We're Hobbits, or at least that's what we call ourselves. I'm exactly 29, and my dear cousin is 35, give or take a month or two. As you see, we're well over the age…" I lost track of the conversation as I looked over at Nicholas and Kuwabara sitting together. Neither had their food in front of them, but rather they had pushed them to a convenient spot that was being stared at greedily by a group of kids. Kuwabara yelled at them, and they scattered like cockroaches in the light. Nicholas shook his head and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket.
I suddenly found out why Botan had been laughing. A greasy piece of pizza landed on my cheek, grease splattering all over my face and into my hair. I made the most disgusted look I could muster, and I ripped the revolting thing from my face, but before I could retaliate, Yamagata stood up and hurled his own piece of pizza at Ed, who was pointing at me and laughing. Yamagata's pizza landed hard in Ed's hair, and she suddenly began screaming while she jumped up and down on the table.
"FOOD FIGHT!! FOOD FIGHT!!" Her adolescent shrieks reached the ceiling, and no one argued with the notion. My hand scooped up the disgusting piece of pizza from my tray as well as the one that Ed had planted on my face. One zoomed for Tails while the other one landed with a squelch on Merrill. Food flew everywhere, and no one cared but the teachers, who yelled themselves hoarse but didn't do a damn thing to stop us. I was plastered in pizza grease and I had green cylinders that might or might not have been green beans in my hair. I laughed as I turned around and tipped the juices that the green objects had been floating in, along with the swimming pool the pizza had been in, onto Spike's head. He smashed his tray over my head, and I dove at his middle, knocking him to the floor.
More food had dropped onto the floor than onto the participants of the food fight, and Spike's back squelched into pizza. I grabbed some mashed potatoes that were on the floor and threw them into Spike's face. His feet caught my stomach, and I was sent flying up into the air. My back landed on the fake picnic table, and I yelled out. I heard the sound of feet rushing toward Spike, and I had an odd feeling that they weren't going to help him up.
Aha, there he was, being lifted into the air by Tetsuo's powers and, Ah yes, Kuwabara jumping up in the air to kick him in the stomach. I rubbed my eyes and tried to sit up. I saw Leah attacking Kuwabara and Tetsuo, Spike now standing on the fake picnic table next to the one I was sprawled out on. He held his gun toward Kuwabara and Tetsuo as Leah chased them away. I fell back after my attempt to sit up, and Leah cuddled up next to Spike. I felt a greasy hand take mine and pull me up to a sitting position.
"Can't let a friend stay down," Yamagata told me as he shoved a cookie covered in pizza grease into my hand, "Here's some ammo." A smile flickered across his face, and I stood, determined.
"WHO WANTS SOME!!??" I yelled, brandishing my greasy cookie. I felt food battering me from every side, and I weakly threw my cookie at a random face in the crowd. I peeked and saw that I had hit Kaneda between the eyes. He rubbed his forehead in pain, and the last thing I saw was Leah's sharp, pointy teeth inches from my face.
"BLARGH!!" I cried as I shielded my face. Too late. Leah had hopped up onto my back, forcing me to fall to the hard ground. I managed to cushion my fall by landing on my side, but Leah grabbed me by the hair and shoved my face into some mashed potatoes that had landed on the floor. I gasped for breath as I emerged from the potatoes, only to have greasy food thrown at me from all angles again. I opened my eyes to see that Leah had me by the collar of my orange plaid jacket, levitating above the crowd. Below me, they were all armed with greasy food, generously supplied by the evil lunch ladies. A thick slice of ham dripping with butter slapped across my face first, then some moldy bread attacked my legs. Peanut butter sandwiches laden with potato chips bombarded my midsection. I opened my mouth to scream, but an old orange hit me in the mouth, and I closed it quickly. I shielded my face, but it was at that moment that Leah decided to drop me. I fell the seven feet that she was holding me above the table and landed on it, making it squeal with strain. I lay there, embarrassed beyond belief more than anything else. I had a hoagie sticking out from my ear, for God's sake! Leah went up to Kaneda and made sure that he was unhurt, concerned. I realized that she was truly worried about him. I smiled inwardly, but I couldn't form my mouth into that shape on the outside.
"What has happened here!?" I heard Ms. Brown's sweet but harsh voice echoed around the cafeteria, and what was left of the food fight stopped. She marched up to the teachers and lunch ladies who had witnessed the food fight while I heard Kuwabara and Merrill running up to me. One of them pulled the hoagie from my ear while the other one helped me to a sitting position.
"Well, I am very disappointed in all of you." Ms. Brown said in a quiet voice. My head drooped. "I'll be taking my class to my room this instant. Come on, Valentines, you heard me. You too, Mages, bikers." Reluctantly, we all followed her, grease dripping off of all of us. I looked over my shoulder to see a line of janitors behind us with mops. Something snapped in my head, and I suddenly found this all hilariously funny. I started giggling at first, but I couldn't hold anything in, and the hall was filled with my raucous laughter. I pointed at me, then I pointed at everyone else, then at myself again. Tears welled in my eyes as a drop of grease fell from on top of my nose and onto my hand. The class was looking back at me, strange smiles forming on their faces. I had to hold my stomach to keep it from hurting I was laughing so hard. I was bent double, tears running from my eyes. I couldn't stand it any more and fell to my knees, shaking with laughter. Nicholas grabbed one of my shoulders while Tetsuo took the other one, and they dragged me along, laughing at the hilarity of it all.