Disclaimer: Okay, here we go. I do not own Sailor moon, Inu Yasha, Card Captors, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Cinamark theaters, Dragon Ball-Z, Geico, Klondike bars, Judge Judy, Family Feud, Tenchi Muyo, Love Hina, Elimidate, Revolutionary girl Utena, Dairy Queen, Gundam Wing, Any phone sex lines, or Meow mix! Now ur probably wondering "What kind of fan fic is this shit?!" ha ha, well enjoy! To flamers or possible flamers: "The contents of this story is not to offend you, it's to make you laugh" Last note: ((for those who've never watched elimidate)): "Elimidate is a late night reality date show. One girl gets four guys to choose from on who she wants to be with. During the date with them, all of them get to give comments on one another as the show is in play, so when you read ((Camera on 'Guys name here')) that means they are making a comment on that moment , they're not actually saying that to the camera as they sit with one another during that current scene. I hope u under stood so any who, enjoy the story! R+R PLEASE!"

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"Hi, I'm Usagi Tsukino!" Usagi smiled, facing the camera "I've recently turned 17 and also recently separated from my long time relationship with Mamoru Chiba. I'm looking for a man that can honestly fight with out using Martha Stuart methods, someone actually funny and someone who will honestly fall in love with me and not with our future daughter. Though I seem just like the average girl, I'm really an agent of love and justice, Eternal Sailor Moon."

((Usagi:: Waiting patiently for her four mystery dates at the front of Minako Aino's house: ))

((Usagi narrating)) : "I decided to meet everyone in front of my friend Minako-chan's house cause..well she kind of forced me to, I don't know why.."

((Minako::Behind Usagi holding up sign that says ::"Need love? Call me at 1- 800-desprate losers!"))

((Camera on Seiya)): "Hi, I'm Kou Seiya"

((Seiya approaches Usagi))

((Camera on Seiya)): "I'm the lead singer in the band 'Three Lights'. I've just turned 17 a few days ago and I love red....and Odango"

"SEIYA!" Usagi gives Seiya a hug.

Seiya: "Odango!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "When I saw Odango, wow, she hasn't changed a bit..it was worth the travel and I'm definitely gonna win this.::Eyes camera:: I am!! Hey, that was a year ago, Odango will definitely be mines!!"

((Camera on Yaten)): "ugh.."

((Camera man whispers)): "Introduce yourself Yaten!"

"Ugh, fine.." Yaten rolls his eyes, gently brushing his bangs aside, "I'm Kou Yaten and I don't know why I'm here. For one, no one can be good enough for me because.pppt! I mean, c'mon, just look at me, I'm prettier then her!"

((Yaten approaches Usagi and Seiya))

"Yaten-kun?!" Usagi was surprised and hugged Yaten.

"Hey!" Yaten pushed Usagi away, "Watch the hair!"

((Camera on Yaten)): "When I saw Usagi, she just jumped me out of no where, god-don't hate cuz I wasn't hit with the ugly stick!"

((Camera on Usagi)): "I don't really know what that was about."

((Camera on Seiya)): "Seeing that Yaten was a competitor, I'm sorry but I think not! I mean c'mon, he's obviously confused about who's important here!"

((Camera on Yaten)): "Seiya was there.::Sarcasm:: Gee, I never would've guessed."

((Camera on Mamoru)): "Hi I'm Mamoru Chiba.."

((Mamoru approaches))

((Camera on Mamoru)): "I'm here to win back Usako, ::Scuffs:: I mean, I really don't know why I broke up with her! Okay, y'see, I had this dream and---"

((Camera cuts off and goes straight to Mamoru approaching Usagi))

"MAMO-CHAN?!!" Usagi freaked "What are you doing here?!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "My words exactly!"

((Camera on Yaten)) ::Filing his nails:: "Oh-god, I think I broke a nail."

"Usako, this is for you.." Mamoru handed Usagi a red rose ".I still love you and I want you back.."

Usagi: (Blushes)

((Camera on Seiya)): "Pppt! My Ass!"

((Camera on Usagi)): "I was gonna freak until he pulled out that beautiful rose! ::Squeals::"

"Oh-Mamo-chan, it's--" Usagi smelled it, "-It's PLASTIC?!"

Seiya & Yaten : (snickers)

"What, you didn't think I'd spent two dollars on a rose, did you?!" Mamoru scuffed.

((Camera on Usagi)) : "Oough!! That son of a ::Beep::"

"Here you go Odango.." Seiya then pulled out a real red rose and handed it to Usagi, "I think you're worth the two dollars and then some.."

"Oh-Seiya." Usagi blushed deeply.

((Camera on Mamoru )): "Can you believe that?! He actually spent two dollars!! Tss-well someone's walkin' home two dollars richer tonight, tss- yeah!..::Scuffs:: two dollars, as if."

((Camera on Yaten)): "........Huh, what happened?"

((Camera man )): "Never mind.. ::Sweat drops::"

((Camera on Fiore)): "Hi I'm Fiore and uhh, I'm Mamoru's child hood friend. I tried to come back to reunite but-uhh ::Scratches head, acting hurt:: tss-yeah, he blew me off!"

((Camera man)): (whispers): "Talk about yourself or Usagi!"

((Camera on Fiore)): "No! The hell with Usagi, I'm here to win back the man I love, we will be together again!!"

((Camera man)) ::Sweatdrops:: "God who picks these weirdos?"

((Camera on Fiore)): "Yeah!! GAY PRIDE!!! I'm here and I'm Queer and when I'm done, Mamoru will come back to me!!!"

((Fiore approaches))

"Fiore?!" Usagi's mouth dropped "uhh, well, uhh-okay, hi.."

((Camera on Usagi)): "I was so surprised!"

Usagi went to give Fiore a hug but he just pushed her aside and hugged Mamoru.

Fiore: "Mamo-chan!"

Mamoru: "oh-uh, yeah, hey there.."

((Camera on Usagi)): "What the hell?!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "Okay, who exactly is he competing for?"

((Camera on Yaten)): "Yes-yes, these are my real eyes, not contacts, it is possible to look this good.."

((Camera man))::Sweat drops::

"Okay, so I thought we'd take a stroll around the block and get to know each other.." Usagi said, walking with Seiya on her right, Mamoru on her left, Yaten on Seiya's right, and Fiore on Mamoru's left, blowing in his ear.

"But since we already know each other, how 'bout you all tell me one thing I don't know about you." Usagi continued "Let's start with you Yaten-kun.."

Yaten: (Rolls eyes): "Ugh...uhh, well,.."

Usagi: "Think about it, is there anything you never told me?"

Yaten: "Oh-yeah, I slept with Luna!"

"Uh?!" Everyone stared at Yaten.

((Camera on Mamoru)): "Luna as in the cat or person?"

((Camera on Fiore)): "Who?! Hey, don't you just love what Mamoru's wearing? A pink spandex shirt, ohh-yeah!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "He had sex with Blackie?! 0.0;;"

((Camera on Usagi)): "Luna..Luna the cat?! Ew!"

"Uhh...Fiore?" Usagi pulled her odd stares away from Yaten to Fiore, "How about you?"

"Oh well since that day Mamoru chose you over me, I've been jerking off to small snapshots I took of him in the shower." Fiore answered quickly without pause.

Mamoru: "DUDE!"

"Uah?!!" Usagi & them became wide eyed and moved away from Fiore.

((Camera on Seiya)):"FAGET! FAGET! FAGET!!"

Usagi: "O-kay, um, Mamo-chan, how about you-ahh!"

Usagi tripped, crashing into Yaten who walked head of her.

Seiya: "Odango!"

Mamoru: "Usako!"

Fiore: "Mamo-chan, you okay?!!"

"Oh-my -god! Oh my god!" Yaten pushed Usagi off him and desperately pulled out a beauty compact, looking at himself, "okay...no permanent scratches, no burses..oh my god, my hair, is that a split end?! Oh my god!

((Camera on Seiya)): "And oh my god-is he a man or a 'Cover Girl'?!"

"Odango are you alright?!" Seiya lightly touched Usagi's face as he helped her up.

"Mamoru, you hurt?!" Fiore kept trying to touch Mamoru.

"Get off me!" Mamoru shoved him off as he whispered.

((Camera on Seiya)): "Okay I think I was the only one who realized that 'Odango' was the one who actually fell!!"

"Oh-I'm fine." Usagi chuckled, "Just a little clumsy...uhh, so Mamo-chan, anything you never told me?"

Mamoru: "Uhh, well, you know that waitress, Lizzy, at the Fruit parlor?"

Usagi: "uh-huh?"

Mamoru: "Well I was sort of messin' around with her around the time we first met Haruka & Michiru.."

Usagi: "WHAT?!!"

((Camera on Yaten))::Chuckles:: "Heh, now that's definitely something she didn't know!"

((Camera on Fiore)): "Well, uhh-yeah! I was a little hurt! I mean, why couldn't he let me give him sexual comfort, I'M ALL THE MAN HE NEEDS!!!!!!!!!!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "I think we all knew this already."

((Camera on Usagi))::Crying and sobbing:: "ugh!.Ma-Mamo-chan, ugh!"

"WAP!!!" Usagi then slapped Mamoru.

Mamoru: "Hey!"

"Mamo-chan, are you alright?!" Fiore freaked out and then went in Usagi's face, pointing his finger, "Okay now you listen here Chika, no one slaps my man and gets away with it!"

Usagi: "Eh?!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "Chika? Last time I checked, this was Japan not Puerto Rico!"

Mamoru then pulled Fiore aside and said in a low mad tone, "Okay why don't you stop this, your embarrassing the both of us!"

Fiore: "But-"

Mamoru: "Just keep it shut!"

((Camera on Fiore)): "But I love you Mamo-chan! ::Cries:: I LOVE YOU!!!!! I thought that meant something to you!!"

"Real smooth, Mamoru-san." Seiya chuckled as he held Usagi's hand.

"Oh-yeah, what's your secret that you haven't told Usagi-huh?!" Mamoru spat out.

Usagi (smiles): "Yeah, what is it?"

"Well." Seiya smiled adorably and then whispered in her ear.

Usagi: "Uh?!" (Turns beet red)

Mamoru: "Wha-?"

Seiya & Usagi : ((Smiling at each other))

((Camera on Mamoru)) : "Oh-please, whispering bullshit in her ear isn't gonna get you no where, this round is mine's, you hear me Seiya?! In spite of whatever the ::Beep:: you said!"

((Camera on Seiya)): "Let's just say I left it all up to her imagination, heh heh.."

((Camera on Fiore))::Moping:: "I wish I could whisper sweet nothings in Mamo-chan's ear.."

((Camera on Yaten))::Fixing hair:: "How's my hair?.huh, what?!"

((Camera man whispers)): "Your hair's fine now will you comment about what happened already?!"

((Camera on Yaten)): "....Huh, what happened?"

((Camera man))::Sweat drops:: "Forget it."

((Camera on Usagi)): "Oh-so you wanna know what Seiya told me? ::Mouth's words:: 10 inches!"

((Show narrator)): "Who will Usagi cut first, will it be Seiya, Yaten, Mamoru or Fiore?"

((Camera on Seiya)): "I definitely hope Mamoru gets cut, I mean c'mon, he already lost her, he ain't gonna get her back, Odango's not that naïve, is she??"

((Camera on Fiore)): "Well I just hope me and Mamo-chan don't get cut, I haven't won him over yet!"

((Camera on Mamoru)): 'I know it wont be me, ppt, with all the crap I got away with, she never broke it off and besides, she cant anyways cuz we have to be together in the future, dua!!"

((Camera on Yaten)): "Oh-please, I'm to pretty to be cut! And I don't intend on ever being cut by her! Oh my god, is that a gray hair?!!"

((Camera man whispers)): "What?! Your hair is gray you conceited ::Beep::!!"