Author's Note: Before you read this, I want everyone to know that this is
just for fun. I don't mean anything by it, and I'm not a pervert, or
anything. The story behind this story is that I was looking over some fan
art on and found a couple weird ones.
Someone had drawn a female Link and a male Zelda (both in pencil, excellent
attention to detail, wonderful pieces of work, but weird, nonetheless).
Anyway, it takes very little to kick my imagination into gear, and I got to
thinking what would happen in such a situation. We all know that Zelda was
raised to be proper. However, even in the cartoon, Link was blatantly
rude, obnoxious, and sometimes even perverted. Once again, I remind you
that, before you become infuriated at me for this, and hunt me down, chop
me into tiny little pieces, roast me over an open fire, and feed me to the
cuckoos, this is just for fun, just to see how it turns out. I have
nothing against either Link or Zelda. In fact, it is my top favorite video
game series in the world. So please don't kill me!
Switching Spaces
By: Ninmast
Far to the east of Hyrule, beneath the foothills that connect the Mountains to the Forests, the laboratory of a lone Wizrobe lay hidden, away from prying eyes. This particular Wizrobe paid allegiance to no one in particular. His only goal was to achieve his own ambitions, wherever they came from. Tonight, he was close to achieving that goal. He had found an ancient manuscript relating to the Triforce, one that spoke of a way that two could switch places using its power. He had spent many years studying the spell's components, picking it apart, piece by delicate piece, and putting it back together in a form that would suit his needs.
"Ah, excellent," he exclaimed from the top of the stairs as he went down into the main atrium of his laboratory. "After so many years of painstaking study and work, the spell is finally ready. Now, all I need to do is add this Eye of Newt, and I'll be ready to begin!" He looked admiringly at the eyeball in the glass jar that he held in his hand. Suddenly, he yelped a loud, "Whaaaaa!" as his foot slipped on a particularly damp step. He rolled all the way down to the main floor, the bottle holding the ingredient following down after him. Our Wizrobe may have been ambitious, but, unfortunately, he was also very clumsy. As soon as he landed, he looked up to make sure the ingredient was safe, just in time for the jar to hit him square in the face, then bounce off and hit a corner on the stairs, where it shattered into a million pieces.
"No!" he yelled, picking up the eyeball in his hand. "It's ruined! The final ingredient for the spell is ruined! And I had to send all the way to Holodrum for it, too! Now, what am I supposed to do?" Slowly, in his despair at being so close, his eyes drifted to a jar of salamander eyes he had stored on one of the shelves. "Hmmm," he said, rubbing his chin. "I guess I could always substitute."
A few minutes later, the substitution made, the potion complete, and the timing right, the Wizrobe began his chant.
"Oh, ones of the Triforce, now change places. Exchange your minds, but not your faces. Give to me the power I seek, Make me strong, and leave you meek!"
There was a large magical explosion as the spell was completed, followed by the Wizrobe's insane laughter. "Come morning," he said, "I shall have the power of the Triforce at my command!"
* * *
Morning dawned at Hyrule Castle in spectacular fashion, as always. Sunlight came through the windows, as Navi entertained herself by chasing the dust that the sun revealed. "Ha!" she shouted triumphantly as she palmed an unusually large fleck, her tiny voice seeming barely above a whisper to Impa, who was only down the hall. Suddenly, they both looked up as a delicious smell wafted up the stairway and tempted their noses. "Mmmm!" hummed Navi enthusiastically. "Smells like the Chef's almost got breakfast ready! Smells like he really went out of the way, today!"
"Yes," Impa smiled. "Apparently, he wants to make sure that Link and the princess have a proper breakfast to start a day like today. Come. We should wake them up now so they will be ready in time. They wouldn't want to be late for their ride." Link had stayed at the Castle overnight because he and Zelda had planned to spend the day riding all over Hyrule Field. It had been the talk of the town that it was a date, but whenever confronted about it, both stuttered, blushed, then suddenly remembered something that they had to go do.
They went into the rooms of their respective charges, Impa to Zelda's room, and Navi to Link's. They went up to them slowly, not wanting to startle them awake, and take a chance on ruining their day. Then, as they both got a look at the two's faces, they both dashed out of their respective rooms and back into the hallway, nearly colliding with each other.
Navi was near hysterics. "Link, something's wrong! His face! It's . . . backwards! Well, not backwards, but it's not right!"
Impa, though, was calm. Of course, the calmer she appeared, the more nervous she was. "Yes, there was a similar problem with the princess. What do you think could have caused it?"
"Well," Navi grasped, trying desperately to come up with some kind of explanation, "maybe they ate some bad mushrooms last night at dinner."
"Navi," Impa scowled at the fairy, "now is not the time to be making jokes. Link and Zelda are . . ." But she didn't get to finish. Simultaneously, two screams pierced the hallway as Link and Zelda woke up.
Link came barreling out into the hallway first, wearing the Kokiri Tunic as always. "Navi!" the Hero of Time yelled in an unusually high voice. "What's going on? What happened to me?"
Navi flew up and all around Link, examining her partner's body. Then, returning to eye level, she said, "Wow! And here I thought it only affected your face!"
"What are you talking about," Link demanded as two hands came up and grabbed Navi, shaking her viciously. "What happened to me?"
"Take it easy on me!" she squeaked as she struggled out of Link's hands. "I'm only a fraction of your size, remember?"
"I don't believe it," Impa marveled, the corners of her mouth twitching, the closest she ever came to laughing hysterically. "Link, the Hero of Time, is a girl!"
"Yeah, thanks for the wonderful observation, Sheikah," Link snarled. "What gave it away? Was it my slender figure, or my high voice?"
"Link isn't the only one who's changed," said a rich tenor voice from the princess's room.
"Oh, no," Impa moaned, dread thick in her voice, as she stared at the silhouette in the doorway, just out of the light's reach. "Not you, too, Princess!"
The princess nodded in affirmation, stepping into the hallway, revealing herself to be a himself, complete with broad shoulders, a more muscular build, and, unfortunately, a nightgown.
Link snickered, then suddenly rolled over laughing. "Zelda! You're a guy! And you're wearing a nightgown! Ha ha ha HA!"
Zelda gave her a particularly nasty scowl, and said, "Yes, and you're a girl that's rolling around on the floor giving everyone a good view of your legs all the way up to your panties underneath that tunic of yours."
Immediately, Link sobered herself and sat up straight, keeping her legs carefully crossed.
"What we need to do now is figure out what happened, and fix it," Impa said, a look of no-nonsense engraved on her already critical face. But she stopped as everyone looked at Link when a rumbling sound echoed through the hallway.
"Sorry, guys, that was me," she said as she patted her stomach with one hand and waved with the other. "Tummy says it's time to eat!" She stood up and started to walk toward the stairway. "So, come on and let's go!"
Impa was shocked that Link was so dense. She snarled as she grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her back in front of her. "You idiot! What were you thinking? What do you think is going to happen when you walk down there, huh? Do you think they're going to say, `Oh, Link's a girl! Zelda's a guy! Oh, well, it's not important. Let's just ignore it and act like it didn't happen.`?"
"Oh, sorry," Link said, rubbing the back of her head with her hand. "I guess I forgot."
Everyone fell down in shock at Link's latest show of brilliance. Even Navi was so surprised that she fell right out of the air.
"Link," Zelda said as he pulled himself up off of the ground, "you really are an idiot."
Navi shrugged from her place on the ground. "That's what I've been saying for seven years, but nobody ever listens to the firefly."
Impa was already up. "Obviously, we're not going to get anything done until after breakfast. I'll go down and get us something to eat. Maybe after that, we can concentrate on the problem, undistracted!" She put an angry emphasis on the last word as she threw a particularly wilting look at Link before going down the stairs to the lower floors of the castle.
After Impa left, Navi flew up and gave an extra hard pull on one of Link's hairs, causing her to give an involuntary yelp. "You really are a dolt, you know that? This is something serious, but the first time your stomach growls, you're off and running. You're more worried about that pit than you are about anything else!"
"You're right, Navi," Link sighed as she dropped her chin to her chest. "I'm sorry." Then, suddenly, her eyes brightened as they focused on her expanded chest. "Oh, look-y! I've got boobs!"
Navi and Zelda fell over again. As Zelda got up, he muttered, "Really, Genius? How long did it take you to figure that out?"
"Huh?" Link asked as she looked at Zelda as if shocked that he was speaking to her. "I guess I was so distracted by the overall change that I really didn't pay that much attention to it. Come to think of it," she said, holding them in her hands from the outside of her shirt, "I think mine are bigger than yours were, Zelda!"
Zelda was struck speechless as Navi flew up and yanked another tiny handful of hair, causing another yelp.
"You are such an insensitive little prick, Link! What's wrong with you," she screamed as Link felt the side of her head for any bald spots.
"Hey," Link shouted defensively, "I didn't mean anything by it! I was just making an observation. Yow!" she screamed as Navi yanked her hair again.
"Don't bother," the fairy told Link as she felt around her head again. "You're not losing hair yet, but if you keep this up, it won't be long."
Link sat down in the corner, determined to keep her mouth shut at all costs, lest she let another comment out that might tempt Navi into pulling a few more hairs. This, of course, was a losing battle, and, after a few moments, her eyes drifted back down to her chest. "You know, I always wondered what they felt like," she said as she unceremoniously shoved her hand down the front of her shirt and starting handling them. "Oh, soft! Their squishy like a pillow!"
Navi started toward her again, but Zelda put his hand in front of her. "No, let me handle this one." He gave Navi a look and a grin, and Navi grinned back and nodded. Zelda strode up to Link, and in one swift movement, grabbed a nipple in between two fingers and gave it a hard twist.
"Yowwww! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Link screamed as she shot up. "What did you do that for," Link demanded as she came back down on her feet. "That really hurt!"
"You are a disgusting, little pervert, you know that, Link," Zelda shouted, getting in her face. "You are embarrassing the life out of me, sitting over there playing with yourself like that."
"Calm down, Zelda," Link pleaded, holding her hands up in front of her. "I'm just curious, that's all! I'm not exactly used to this, you know. It's all new, and I just want to know about it."
Zelda turned around, his back to Link and his arms over his chest. "We have a library on the third floor of the castle. It's the largest in all of Hyrule. Surely you can find something that can satisfy your curiosity without being such an embarrassment."
* * *
The day passed as the four of them puzzled over what had happened, and nightfall came without a single answer to any of their questions. Even though they were all still as confused as they had been that morning, they resigned, one by one, to bed, claiming that they were just too tired to keep looking that night.
Morning came splendidly again, as if it didn't have the vaguest idea of what was going on in the castle. Zelda woke up to the smell of food in the hall again. No doubt Link had complained until Impa gave in and got her some food. He smiled as he wondered just how long Link could eat like she always had and not get as big as a whale. The day before, Impa had gone to the trouble of getting him some proper clothes, since all he had were dresses, the proper attire for a princess. Now, however, all of those were the wrong size, and inappropriate attire, anyway. Now, he slipped into some of the clothes that Impa had gotten for him. They were royal blue with silver decoration and consisted of a loose tunic and a loose-legged pair of breaches; it was casual wear fit for a prince.
By this time, however, he was beginning to wonder what was wrong in the hallway. There hadn't been a single sound since he got up. Impa should have been jumping down Link's throat by now. He walked out of his room and into the hallway, to see, sure enough, a large array of food laid out in the middle of the hall, and Impa standing off to one side leaning up against the wall. Link, however, was nowhere in sight.
"Ah, Your Highness," Impa greeted him, standing up. "I see you are wearing some of the clothes I brought you. They look quite nice on you."
"Thank you, Impa. You do have great taste," Zelda responded as Impa gave a nod of thanks. "Um, where is Link? Isn't he up yet? When I smelled the food in here, I was sure she would be out here, inhaling it as usual."
The expression on Impa's face changed to one of worry. "She is not out of her room yet. I brought the food up in hopes of drawing her out, but she is intent on staying in there."
Zelda burrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "So Link is still asleep?"
"No, no," Impa replied, waving her hands in denial. "She is quite awake, and has been since a little before sunrise. She just won't come out, and won't let anyone in. She even refused to let Navi come in."
"Where is Navi, anyway?" Zelda asked, looking around, realizing that the blue fairy was not anywhere in sight.
"I sent her back to the Kokiri Forest to see if the Great Deku Tree knew anything about what has happened to you two. I wouldn't expect her back for at least another day."
"Do you really think that the Deku Tree will be able to help us?"
"I'm not sure," Impa shrugged, "but he is the oldest being in Hyrule. He has knowledge from ages past that even time has forgotten. If an answer lies anywhere, he will know where it is."
"I hope you are right," Zelda sighed, holding his head. "This is so awkward." Then, looking toward Link's door, "I wonder why she is hiding from us. Maybe I can find out." He walked over to Links door and rapped it with his knuckles. "Link, what's wrong? Why won't you come out?"
"Go away," came Link's now-high voice, heavy with tears, from the other side of the door. "I don't want anyone to see me right now!"
Fearing some strange new change in Link that had occurred in the night, Zelda focused his powers on the lock in the door, and opened it as soon as he heard it click. He rushed into the room to see Link sitting on the bed, blood on the sheets next to her. He shut the door, already figuring out what had happened, relief and pity flowing through him in quick succession. "What's wrong, Link? Are you hurt?"
Link looked up at Zelda, her eyes red from crying, and her face flushed in embarrassment, and shook her head. "I'm leaking!" she cried in a low voice.
Zelda smiled at her description. "Don't worry about it. It's perfectly normal. Here," he said, using his powers again and summoning a tampon in his hand. "Use this."
Link took it from his hand, looked at it with shock, and swallowed audibly. "You mean, I'm supposed to stick this whole thing up there?"
Zelda laughed. "Don't be ridiculous," he said, and watched Link's face relax as she sighed. Then, "You're supposed to unwrap it first."
"But, but, Zelda . . ." Link stuttered, but Zelda just turned around and walked back out of the room, waving over his shoulder.
"Hurry up and get out here. Impa already has breakfast waiting."
* * *
The day passed with no more progress than the last, and the morning once again dawned beautifully, oblivious to the predicament of those stuck in the castle.
Link and Zelda sat in front of a window, looking out at the sunrise. They were the only ones up. It was before even Impa's early hours, and Navi hadn't returned from the Kokiri Forest yet, although they expected her that evening.
When the sky had finally gained the first fringes of blue on the horizon, Link, who had been fidgeting with her hands as she looked longingly out the window, finally snapped. "I can't take it any longer," she screamed, slamming her fists down on the windowsill. "We've been stuck up here in the castle for three days, now, and I'm getting claustrophobic!"
Zelda put his hands on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. "Come now, surely it can't be that bad! By many, Hyrule Castle is considered to be one of the grandest places in Hyrule! Besides, Navi should be back tonight, and I'm sure she found out something from the Great Deku Tree. By this time tomorrow, we'll be ourselves again, and we'll be free!"
Link yanked out from under Zelda's hands as she turned her back to him. "That's too long. I'm a Kokiri, remember? I can't stand not being outside for this long."
Zelda smiled. "We both know you aren't really a Kokiri. You're a Hylian, just like everyone else in this castle."
Link stuck her nose up in the air. "I may not have the blood of a Kokiri in me, but I'm just as much one as Saria is," she said, a pang hitching her voice as she thought of the childhood friend that she hadn't seen in seven years. What would her best friend think if she knew what had happened? she thought, dropping her head back down.
Zelda, intuiting most of what went through Link's head, went over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders again. "You miss her, don't you?"
Link sniffed. "She's my best friend in the world. How could I not?" Suddenly, she went over to a corner of the room, where she kept her stuff. Zelda had gotten on to Link a million times for not putting them in a drawer or desk, like a civilized person would, but piling things in a corner out of the way was an old habit Link had developed after living in a tree for ten years.
Now, she picked her satchel up, the enchanted bag that she had received from Saria as a present for her tenth birthday smooth as velvet in her hand. In one practiced movement, she had fastened it securely to her belt. After a moment of thought, she left her arrows, bow, and shield in the pile, as well as her sheath. Since returning the Master Sword to its pedestal, the well-decorated sheath had seen very little use, as a sheath without a sword serves no real purpose. Zelda had tried to get the Hero a new sword, saying that Link looked wrong without one strapped to the back, but, after wielding the Master Sword, no other blade really felt right.
"What are you doing, now," Zelda asked as Link walked over to the window and looked down, measuring the distance to the ground with her eyes.
"I'm going out. I think I'll take a stroll around the marketplace, maybe visit the Archery Gallery, or something," she answered as she reached into the bag and pulled out the hookshot and fired it into the wood surrounding the window. "I don't care if you come along or not," she continued as she pulled on the chain to make sure the hook was secure, "but I'm going, and you're not going to stop me."
Zelda watched as she swung her legs out of the window, then planted them against the wall, then stood up, saying, "Wait! I'm coming with you."
Link stopped and offered him her hand, smiling as if she knew what he was going to do all along.
* * *
It was still early enough in the morning that the marketplace, though open, was relatively empty, and none of the people that were there seemed to recognize the two of them as they strolled down the stone-paved street into town. They strolled up and down the marketplace, not looking at anything in particular as much as enjoying the overall freedom of being outside the castle. Eventually, they found their way to the Potion Shop. When they walked in, however, they saw a girl about their age. She was wearing a short dress decorated with the designs of the Gerudo, a symbol that meant that she had yet to prove herself in battle and become an adult. This, however, didn't stop her from threatening townspeople, apparently, as she was in the process of terrifying the poor man behind the counter when Link and Zelda came in.
Immediately, Link was in action. She ran over to the girl, yelled, "What do you think you're doing," and spun her around by her shoulders, her arm pulled back in case she needed to swing. When she did, though, she froze. The fiery red hair, though settled down, was still slightly spiked, and the hooked nose was gone, with a slender one in its place, but the evil gaze in the eyes was the same. If she needed further proof, she found it on their hands. On the back of Link's hand, three triangles started to glow, the bottom right one more brightly than the others. On the girl's hand, an identical mark appeared, the top triangle predominant. A gasp from Zelda behind them told her that his, too, was glowing.
The instant their eyes met, the girl dropped the shopkeeper, and Link let go of her shoulder. "You!" they both cried, jumping back as if they each expected the other to strike.
"Ganondorf!" Link yelled. "What are you doing here? Explain yourself! Are you the one who did this to us?"
"Ha!" Ganondorf returned, placing her hands on her hips. "Link, even as a girl, you're still an idiot! At least now I can blame it on you being a dumb blonde."
"What do you mean? I was blonde before!"
Ganondorf chuckled, turning her back to them as she threw her hair over her shoulder. Obviously, she had been given lessons by her underlings to keep her from looking suspicious, and, as always, she was a wonderful actor. "Yes, but when was the last time you heard of a guy being referred to as a dumb blonde?"
"Uh," Link paused as she scratched her head. "Come to think of it, never."
Zelda came up behind the Gerudo. "You still didn't answer our question. Did you have anything to do with it, and what are you doing here?"
Ganondorf turned around in a whirl of red hair and looked up at Zelda, who was now at least a head and a half taller that her. "Zelda, I presume? Of course. It shows in every feature of your face. Male or female, you're still a princess."
Zelda grabbed her by the scruffs of her dress, seeming to pick her up to his own eye level effortlessly. "I suggest that you answer, or else this princess might just decide to get vengeful."
But Ganondorf just chuckled lightly. "No, no, no," she scolded lightly, waving her finger back and forth in the air. "You wouldn't want to break the rules of conduct for royalty, would you? After all, if you did that, you wouldn't be any better than I am."
Zelda dropped his head and reluctantly set her down, a stuck up smirk of victory on the Gerudo's face. "As much as I hate it, you are right. Evil or not, enchantment or none, in this current situation, I cannot condone hitting a girl."
"Ha!" she laughed, arrogance showing from every inch of her posture. "Zelda, you're worse than Link! You pretend to have such high ideals, and yet you are so wrapped up in them that you would never be able to do anything about them in the first place."
Suddenly, Link came around Zelda and fired a fist across the girl's snobby face, sending her flying out of the open door and out into the open marketplace, where she landed unceremoniously on her butt.
Ganondorf stared at Link from her seat on the ground, blatant indignity flaring across her face. "How dare you strike me?!"
Link popped her knuckles as she walked toward the former King of Evil, feeling like her old self for the first time in days. "Zelda may be bound up in rules, but I'm not, and I don't have anything against wiping that cocky, lopsided grin off of that ugly mug of yours. In fact," she added as she popped her neck as well, "I've kinda been missing it."
"Fine, if that's the way you want it," Ganondorf smiled as Zelda and the storekeeper came running out the door after Link. In one quick movement, the Gerudo launched herself at Link and tackled her to the ground.
"Cat fight!" someone yelled, and suddenly guys, boys and men alike, had surrounded the two, cheering as they wrestled, each one grappling, punching and clawing, trying to get the best of the other.
"I wonder what they're fighting about," one said.
"I'll bet one of them was sleeping with the other one's boyfriend," said a second. "Judging from the looks of them, I'd say it was the red head that was sleeping with the blonde's boyfriend. She looks more like the naughty type to me. Blondie looks too much like a goody-two-shoes."
"Aw, who cares," said a third, "I just hope they tear the clothes off of each other before it's all over. Now that would be a show!"
On and on it went, Link and Ganondorf wrestling in the dirt, and men cheering, jeering, and making catcalls the whole time. Zelda watched for a moment simply to see who would win, but soon turned his back on the scene and started back inside.
The storekeeper noticed him turn to leave, put a hand on his shoulder, and said, "Where are you going, son? The show's not over yet!"
"This is disgusting," Zelda replied, his back still to the fight. "They are all acting incredibly barbaric."
"You know, that's exactly what it is about it that turns most men on."
"Yeah, but I'm not most men," Zelda returned as he started to go back inside.
"Hey," the shopkeeper hesitated, a thought occurring to him, "you aren't gay, are you?"
Zelda stopped in his tracks, a look of shock on his face. He spun around to face the shopkeeper. "No, of course I'm not! I'm apparently just more civilized than all of these morons!"
The shopkeeper was about to reply, but then turned back toward the middle of the circle. Zelda turned, too. Something had changed in the fight.
Suddenly, Link kicked Ganondorf in the crotch. As Ganondorf rolled over on the ground in pain, Link climbed on top of her and began punching her in the face, first with one arm, then the other. After about ten of each, she drew her fist back again, then stopped. Instead, she reached down and gave her a few quick slaps to the face, nodded satisfactorily, and got up off of her, and began to limp back toward the shop. Ganondorf, however, didn't move.
Zelda ran to Link's side, letting her lean up against him. The shopkeeper went to Ganondorf to assess the damage. Noticing that the show was over, the other people slowly dissipated.
"Well," Zelda asked as the shopkeeper caught up with him and Link, "how is she?"
"She's alive," he said as he carried her in his arms. "She's just unconscious."
"Put her down on the floor," Zelda said as he guided Link to a chair. As the shopkeeper did so, Zelda used his powers to heal Link. When he was finished, he went over to Ganondorf and did the same, careful, however, to leave her unconscious. He then turned to the matter of clothes. Ganondorf's had been ripped in several places, all of them revealing, as the scant desert outfit didn't cover much in the first place.
Link's clothing, however, was a different story. Even though Ganondorf had fought just as hard as she had, there wasn't a mark on the green outfit.
"Cut it out, will you," Link asked as Zelda checked the clothing all over. "This is my Kokiri Tunic. It's unbreakable," she said with pride in her voice. "It's just a little dusty, that's all." So saying, she brushed at the front of the tunic, and immediately, a large dust cloud poofed up out of the fabric.
"Couldn't you wait to do that until you got outside," the shopkeeper coughed, covering his mouth and nose in a useless attempt to keep the dust out.
"Sorry," Link answered, hacking herself, "I didn't stop to think."
"When did you ever?" Zelda sputtered as he threw a window open and watched as the dust floated out.
After the room had cleared, Link stood up. "I'm going to take a walk," she informed Zelda as she stared cautiously at the still unconscious form of Ganondorf on the floor. "I'm still a little hyper from the fight, and it would give me a chance to clean my shirt off," she explained, pulling at it for emphasis.
Zelda turned to her. "Do you want me to come with you?"
Link shook her head. "Nah, that's okay. I'll be fine. I'll be back in a little bit."
* * *
After a while of walking, Link stopped and leaned up against the brick wall of a building to rest. The adrenaline from the fight had worn off, and, even though Zelda had healed her wounds, he didn't get rid of the heavy tiredness that made her legs feel like dead weights. I've been out of the action for too long, and I'm getting out of shape, she thought, then she grinned as another idea caught her. I
"Well, well, well, boys, what do we have here?"
The rough voice made her jump. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard them come. She looked up then, and she saw three of them, all of them gutter trash, the kind that have nothing better to do all day than to loiter around and wait for a chance to jump somebody. "What do you want," she demanded, her surprise taking the determination out of her tone.
"Ya got any money on ya? That's a good place to start!" The middle one, apparently the leader, held a thick stick in one hand, and was using it to hit the palm of his other hand.
Link grinned wide. "Sorry, boys, I'm all broke," she said cheerily as she reached into her satchel and slowly drew her hand back out. "I spent the last of it on these bombs." She pulled her hand the rest of the way out to reveal a round, black bomb in her hand.
The two men on either side of the first stepped back, but he just grinned, showing rotten teeth, and several holes. "You would never get it lit in time, you know that?"
"You wanna try me," Link taunted as she drew the bomb closer to herself to light it in an instant. "You could say I've had a lot of practice, and I've gotten pretty good."
She noticed the telltale signs of the man preparing to rush at her, and she discharged a small amount of fiery energy from her fingertip and lit the fuse.
The man, however, was faster than he looked. Before Link could draw the bomb back to throw it, he had knocked it out of her hands, hitting it so hard in his panic that it flew into the window of a private house. A few seconds later, glass and stone went everywhere as the bomb exploded with a terrific blast.
The man looked back at the house in shock, then turned to Link with a look on his face as if it had been entirely her fault, and he was going to make her pay. "We can't let you do that again, can we?" So saying, he called the other guys over, and ordered them to hold her down.
The moment they tried, however, one got a foot to the groin, and the other received a fist to the face. After they recovered, though, they redoubled their efforts, and, without escaping a few nasty cuts and bruises, managed to restrain the girl, holding her up against the wall by her shoulders and arms.
"Ah, you're a feisty one, aren't you?" the leader said as he wiped blood from his lip. "I like it when they try to fight it. Of course, I always get my go in the end," he added as a wide grin came across his face and he reached for his pants. At the same moment, one of the men holding her hit her in the head with a bar they had picked up off of the ground. The sight of his hard-on, and mingled feelings of disgust and terror, were the last things she remembered.
* * *
"Shouldn't you wake her?" The storeowner was staring at Ganondorf, who was still unconscious on the floor. Zelda, whom he was talking to, was on the other side of the room, staring out the window.
Zelda turned to him now, staring at him incredulously. "Why do you want her conscious again? Who knows what she might try to do?"
The storekeeper walked behind the counter, and pulled out from under it a sharp, well made long sword. A giant of a man in any condition, with a sword in his hand, he was intimidating to say the least. "I've got this that says she won't try anything this time."
Zelda smiled and nodded. Although he was fairly sure that he was underestimating the Gerudo, the man was at least being prepared for anything. His biggest fear had been that it was a request from lust, instead of true caring. If he was willing to hold a sword against her, that at least showed that he was using his head.
Zelda walked over to Ganondorf, bent down, put one palm on her forehead, and focused. A yellow light glowed on his hand, then disappeared as the Gerudo opened her eyes. The eyes were blurry at first, but then they focused on Zelda. Immediately, there was a sharp intake of breath as Ganondorf crab walked out from under him and rushed to get up.
"Don't worry, Ganondorf," Zelda smiled, "I'm not like you, remember? I'm not going to try to kill you while you're out."
Ganondorf scowled, then looked around the room. "Where is Link?" Of all people that would be there when Zelda woke her, the Hero of Time was one that she was sure of, no doubt to protect the precious princess from the insidious King of the Gerudos at all costs.
"She went out to take a walk," Zelda replied, never moving his eyes away from the Gerudo. "She said she needed some air."
Suddenly a look of rage distorted her previously pretty face. "She what!? You pompous palace brat! You let that idiot go out into the streets alone?"
Zelda balled his fists up on either side, and, in as calm a voice as he could muster, said, "I figured she could handle herself. She is a hero, after all."
"Yeah, but, in case you didn't notice, she's unarmed! With the exception of whatever it is that she has in that bag of hers. Unfortunately, unless you have a visible weapon, the gutter trash in this fair city of yours don't really care who you are. No doubt you spend so much time in that pretty castle of yours, in your pretty room, that you don't know about any of that, do you? Besides," she continued, arms crossed under her well- formed breasts, "armed or not, multiple people against one is not very good odds."
The shopkeeper came up behind them, nodding. "She's right. Your friend took the alleys, and even in the daylight, those are not safe for anyone to be alone, especially not for a pretty little girl like her." He turned toward the door as he continued, "We should go check on her. She's been gone for awhile."
Zelda started to follow him out, with Ganondorf behind him, but then stopped and turned to her as a thought occurred to him. "Ganondorf, why are you suddenly so concerned about Link's well-being?"
"Link is my rival, my equal," she responded. "The last thing I want is for her to be in such emotional shock that she can't even fight. Or even worse," she huffed, "pregnant."
* * *
"Stop sitting there, and move over! It's my turn!" They heard the bickering from a block down and around a corner. The shopkeeper, who was in front, backed up against the wall and pointed toward the other end of the building, indicating that was where he thought it was coming from. Zelda and Ganondorf nodded, then went around him and on toward the end. They came around the corner just as the last man was dropping his pants. On the other side of him were two very happy looking pieces of human filth. Lying prostrate on the ground was the unconscious form of Link, ruffled, battered, stripped, and, miraculously, still breathing.
"Hold it right there," Zelda shouted, pulling a dagger from behind his back. Behind him, Ganondorf and the shopkeeper both took fighting stances as well; the Gerudo with her walking stick, and the man with his sword.
The thugs were so busy they hadn't heard them come up. Needless to say, they were all shocked, but the last man was acutely aware of the fact that he was baring it all to the world. The other two snapped out of their euphoria in an instant, and began looking around for a way of escape. One tried to draw his own dagger from his belt, but Zelda was too fast for him. Years of Sheikah training went into the smooth motion that seemed like one movement, and was almost too quick to see. The next instant, Zelda's dagger was sticking through the man's palm to the hilt. Panicking, the man ran down the alleyway, screaming his head off. The leader, the other man that had been standing off to one side, tried to follow, but in a flash, Ganondorf leaped in front of him.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, almost innocently, right before her stick caught him behind the knee and sent his legs out from under him. The next instant, he was on the ground, Ganondorf's foot was on his chest, and her stick was pulled back ready to strike. "So, you get your kicks from jumping unarmed girls, huh? Well, maybe this will make you think twice!"
As she was talking, the third man had came up behind her, pipe in hand, and, just as she was rearing back to shove her stick into the leader's throat, he pulled the pipe back. It was a move never to be finished, however. Before Ganondorf could strike, she heard the song of a sword coming through the air and spun around just in time to see the end of one come out of the man's stomach. She rolled out of the way as the body slid off of the sword, and turned to see the shopkeeper, the gleaming sword in one hand, and the other offered out to help her up. She was touched for a moment, then she hardened herself again, and knocked his hand away. "A Gerudo never accepts help from a man," she muttered as she pulled herself up.
The leader, however, was staring in shock at the face of the dead man on top of him. Suddenly, he snapped. Throwing the body off of him, he ran down the alleyway screaming as if the Devil, himself, was after him.
Ganondorf stood up, held her stick off in one hand, and stretched her other arm out, her palm facing the back of the man as he ran down the alleyway. Zelda, realizing what she was doing, yelled at her to stop, but she only scowled harder, her face grim as it ever had been. "I'm not through with you yet," she said as a ball of orange energy grew in her hand. In the next instant, she fired it at the man. It caught him full in the back, and blew him to pieces.
When the guards came later that day to inspect the claims of a delusional man with a dagger in his hand, they would only be able to identify the one body, they would take claims from the residents of what was left of the house that the bomb had landed in, and a note would be made about the odd scorch marks on the walls. The claims of crazy killers that the man made, however, would be left as just another unsolved case. The delusional man, however, would die before the area had been blocked off for investigation. The dagger, it seemed, had been tipped with a poison of it's own.
* * *
"Poor Link!" Zelda exclaimed as they entered the store again.
"I tried to warn you," Ganondorf reminded him as she rolled Link haphazardly off of her shoulders into a chair.
A thought occurred to the shopkeeper. "You two seem to know each other pretty well, but you obviously don't get along. Did you two used to be together, then break up, or something?"
Ganondorf turned to him, smiling. "No, nothing quite so romantic, I'm afraid. I just had him kidnapped once, and he never forgave me for it."
The shopkeeper grinned. "Oh, is that all," he responded sarcastically. "And what about this blonde girl? What part did she play?"
"She's the one that came to my rescue," Zelda answered.
"Wait, just wait a minute, here," the shopkeeper said, holding up his hands in surrender. "You mean to tell me that a little girl like that had to come to the rescue of a big guy like you? I mean, to judge by the looks of you, I'd say you were in line for knighthood, yourself."
Zelda looked to Ganondorf and something passed between them, then Ganondorf nodded her approval. "Very well," Zelda said to the shopkeeper. "I guess you've done enough for us, the least we can do is tell you the truth. All of it."
Zelda told the shopkeeper everything, from the story between the three of them to the predicament they were presently in.
"That's a great story," the shopkeeper said when he was done. "and I'd be inclined to believe it if it weren't for one little thing. You said this all happened seven years ago. The only problem is, if it had happened, I would have remembered it. Hyrule's never been overrun. You'd think that would be something I would remember."
"You're right," Ganondorf answered, "and you would remember it, along with numerous other things that you'd probably be glad that you didn't, except Prissy Princess over here erased everyone's memory so it wouldn't interfere with the rest of their lives. Only the three of us that have the Triforce can remember anything."
The shopkeeper turned to Ganondorf. "You said that the Triforce is on the back of your hands. May I see it?"
Ganondorf shrugged. "Sure, I see no reason why not." She held out her hand to him, and he took it, staring at the back.
"Incredible," he said in awe as he watched the Triforce pieces glow with their own light. "The three of you hold the power of the goddesses on the back of your hands."
"It comes in handy," Ganondorf said dismissively.
"Yeah," Zelda snorted, "if you don't mind turning into a giant pig."
Ganondorf's back went stiff. "What was that, Princess?" she asked venomously.
"Nothing," he answered as if he didn't have a care in the world. "I was only saying that I wouldn't care to turn into a giant, ugly, foul-smelling, black pig, that's all."
"Oh, so hiding with the wretched Sheikah and pretending you were one of them for seven years was better?"
"Like you have room to call anyone 'wretched', oh, great King of Evil! The Sheikah protected me and trained me to keep me safe from you!"
"They are called the shadow folk because in the shadows is where they belong! They shouldn't be allowed to exist, and, if I had had my way, they wouldn't."
"If you had your way, nobody would exist!"
They stopped when they heard some stirring on the other side of the room. They turned and saw Link, looking like she'd been beaten by Deku Nuts, but conscious.
"Would you two stop yelling? I've got a splitting headache, and you two are fighting like a married couple."
"We'll stop, Link," Zelda said as he hurried over to her and put his hands on her. "Now, sit still so I can fix you up." Once again, a glow came from his fingertips, covering Link's entire body. "There," he said as he finished and stood back as if to admire his work.
"I appreciate it, Zelda, I really do," Link said, exhaustion heavy in her voice, "and the pain is all gone, but I still feel like a giant sand bag."
Zelda smiled. "I've healed you as much as I can. Now, you're just going to have to sit back and rest, and let your body take care of the rest on its own."
Ganondorf walked up behind him. "However, I would like to complement you on your work."
"What are you talking about," Zelda asked incredulously. "She lost!"
Ganondorf grinned widely, as if she was really enjoying something. "Yeah, but did you see what she did in the process? That alley looked like a war zone!"
As Zelda stared at Ganondorf with shock, and Ganondorf stood there, absorbed in the barbarity of her thoughts, the shopkeeper walked up to Link, the long sword in his hand.
"From what I've heard, I understand that you're the one who knows how to use a sword in this little group of yours."
"Yeah," Link said carefully, "I've had some practice."
Zelda looked down at Link. "It's okay, Link, he knows."
At first, Link looked at Zelda with shock on her face, then, as she got over it, she turned back to the shopkeeper and grinned. "Okay, so I've had more than a little practice."
The shopkeeper grinned back. "I've also heard that you're in need of a new sword, am I correct?"
Link scratched the back of her head. "Yeah, I did have to leave the Master Sword behind."
"Fine then," the shopkeeper exclaimed, holding the sword out to Link. "It's settled! You can take this one." He turned to Zelda and Ganondorf. "You three can stay here as long as you need to. If it turns out that you're going to need to do some travelling, I'd be more than glad to provide you with whatever I can. Just let me know."
* * *
As soon as Link felt up to leaving, she and Zelda headed back for the castle. Ganondorf chose to stay at the store, noting, truly, "A Gerudo would never be trusted inside the castle walls. The King of the Gerudos would never be allowed to live inside those walls."
It was getting towards evening when Link and Zelda reached the castle, and Link had regained much of her previous strength. She didn't seem to remember, however, exactly what had happened in the alley. In fact, she thought they had only tried to mug her. Of course, Zelda just smiled at this, since he had deliberately erased that part of her memory. He couldn't imagine how Link would react if she knew that she had been raped.
They came up under the window to Link's bedroom. Link reached into her bag to get the hookshot, pointed it at the windowsill, and fired. The hook caught and pulled them up to the window. Quietly, they stepped in, careful to make as little noise as possible, lest someone hear them come in. Link went over and picked up her sheath, then pulled the shopkeeper's long sword out of her satchel.
"Nice sword. Did you get it while you were out parading around the marketplace?"
They turned to see Impa step out of the shadows in the corner. Fury was written in every line of her face. "What were you thinking, going out there like that? What if someone recognized you?" She turned to Zelda. "Princess, I had expected you, of all people, to know the importance of such secrecy!"
"It's my fault," Link spoke up as she stepped between Zelda and Impa, as if to shield him from further scolding. "It was my idea to go out. I was feeling like a caged animal, and I baited Zelda into following me."
Impa crossed her arms across her chest. "You acted like a caged animal, too." But she understood the motivation behind her actions. She had been raised as a Kokiri, in the outdoors, and it had been only a matter of time before she tried something like this. "Come," she said, still scowling, "Navi has returned, and she bears much news."
They went out into the hall, where the blue, glowing fairy was flittering around in the air excitedly. "Link! Zelda! You're back! You wouldn't believe what I found out! The Great Deku Tree said that it was an old spell that did this to you, and that, on the night that it happened, he felt three big spots of energy. One here, where you guys were, one in Gerudo Valley, and one beyond Zora's Domain."
"Did he know a cure for it," Zelda demanded eagerly.
Navi stopped flittering and looked down sadly. "No, he didn't. He said that the spell had been twisted, so it didn't work the same way as it had originally been meant to work. We're going to have to go find whoever did it to find out how to change you back."
Impa rubbed her chin in thought. "Gerudo Valley? Could Ganondorf be stirring up trouble again?"
"Ganondorf?" Navi responded. "He's pretty crazy, but why would he do something like this?"
"It wasn't Ganondorf," Zelda said as something clicked.
Impa and Navi turned to face him. "What is it, Princess?"
Link's eyes went wide as she, too, caught on to Zelda's train of thought. "That's what she was doing in the Potion Shop!"
"What are you babbling about, Link," Navi shouted as she flew up in front of her face.
"We saw Ganondorf in the Potion Shop today," Link answered. "She was threatening the store owner."
"She?" Impa asked. "Do you mean that Ganondorf was affected by the spell, too?"
"Ganondork's a girl?" Navi laughed gleefully. "Now that's something that I'd like to see!"
"She must have been trying to find out how to reverse the spell, too," Link continued as the pieces started to come together.
"Of course," Zelda said as he slapped himself in the forehead. "How could we be so blind? That's why she thought we were so stupid when we asked if she was behind it!"
"No wonder she was so insulted when I punched her," Link said as she rubbed her knuckles, remembering. "For a change, she hadn't even done anything."
"What happened with Ganondorf," Impa demanded. "Was it her that caused the damage in the back alleys?"
"Actually," Link answered, her hand behind her head, "that was me. I was mugged back there, but I didn't have a sword, so I had to defend myself somehow. I took out a bomb, and meant to throw it at them, but one of them knocked it out of my hands and sent it through a window before I could do it."
Impa turned to her in shock. "They mugged you? What happened next?"
"Then they knocked me out, and the next thing I knew, Zelda, Ganondorf, and the shopkeeper had come to my rescue, and had brought me back to the shop."
"Ganondorf helped to rescue you?" Navi was obviously having a hard time believing it.
"It's true," Zelda answered, walking up beside Link. "She said it was because Link is her greatest rival, and I guess she wants to be the one to kill her, not someone off of the street."
"You trusted her?" Impa stared at them, shocked by the very idea.
"We didn't have much choice," Link said as she scowled back at the Sheikah. "Anyway, isn't there more important things for us to do? Like figuring out what's happening on the other side of Zora's Domain?"
"That will wait until tomorrow," Impa answered. "For now, you should go to bed. It is a long trip, and you will all need to be fully rested."
Zelda looked at Impa quizzically. "Aren't you coming with us, Impa?"
"No, Princess. I must stay here and cover for your absence. Make sure that you return soon, however. The Crowned Princess of Hyrule has already stayed inside her room for three days. Much longer, and people will start to be suspicious."
* * *
Link and Zelda were up early the next morning. They had dressed, eaten, and were ready to go by a little after sunrise. Link was dressed in her usual battle attire, with her Hylian Shield and the long sword strapped to her back, and Navi, still asleep, under her hat. Fortunately, her Kokiri Boots were as self adjusting as her tunic, as she had been delighted to discover after Zelda had offered to let her use a pair of his old dress boots. Zelda was dressed almost like his alter ego, Sheik, minus the head wrap and the Eye of Truth on his chest. In their place, he wore a white bandana on his head, and the symbol of the Royal Family on his chest.
Link shuffled with the sheath strap across her chest for the hundredth time as they got out to the horse stalls.
"What is wrong with you," Zelda asked, turning to her. "You got a strap burn under there already?"
Link shook her head as she moved it again. "It's crushing my boob."
"For the tenth time today, Link, it's a breast, not a boob," Zelda said as he walked over to help. "There, that should do it," he said as he moved it between the two, cushioning it so it wouldn't rub.
"I don't care what it is, I can't wait until this adventure's over so it will be gone!" They came into the stalls, and Link walked over to Epona. "Hey, Epona," she said softly as she reached out to rub the horse's nose. "Are you ready to go for a ride?" As her hand reached the horse, though, Epona jerked back, neighing loudly, and kicking out in front of her. "Calm down, Epona," Link yelled, trying to make herself heard over the horse. "It's just me, Link!"
Zelda came up behind her. "I don't think she recognizes you, Link."
Link smiled as she realized that. "Yeah, I guess I do look a little different, don't I, Epona? I know," she said as she reached into her satchel and pulled out her wooden ocarina. She put it to her lips and began to play, softly at first, then, as Epona started to calm down, she played a little louder as she stepped toward the horse. She reached out for the horse's nose again as she finished the song, and this time, Epona let her. "That's right, Epona, it's me. Something happened, and I know I don't look the same, but it is me."
Zelda had already saddled his own horse, and he called to Link as he climbed on. "Now that you two have settled your differences, perhaps we can go ahead and leave?"
"You know, whenever you are in that outfit, it's like you are an entirely different person," Link scowled as she strapped Epona's saddle on her. "And that person has a major attitude problem." She jumped on and, with an encouraging word to Epona, galloped out of the stable.
Zelda stared after her for a bit, then threw his head back and laughed. When he was done, he spurred his own horse, and galloped off to catch up with them.
* * *
"Ganondorf!" Link yelled as she and Zelda burst into the shop. "Ganondorf, we found out where the spell came from!"
The Gerudo turned around from the counter where she had been talking to the shopkeeper. "Already? And here I thought dimwits like you two would take another month." She meant that they were smarter than she had given them credit for, but she would never give them the satisfaction of hearing it from her own lips.
"Yes, well, whatever it is that you think," Zelda said, barely holding back his own venom, "we thought that we should be considerate and give you a chance to come with us."
"Of course," she agreed, as if discussing something as simple as the color of an outfit. "After all, it would be two against one if I decided to, oh, I don't know," she continued, bringing one finger up to her chin as the other caressed a dagger at her side, "take advantage of an opportunity along the road one evening."
Link just smiled at the obviously empty threat. "We all know you wouldn't, Ganondorf. You need us as much as we need you. That is, unless you like being a girl."
Ganondorf's eyes flared. "I despise it!"
"Good! I thought you would," Link said as she put her hands behind her head as she turned to walk back out. "Then let's get going, shall we? I'm sure you'd like to get back to your throne tonight, instead of having to kneel before it, right?"
Ganondorf clenched her teeth, and her face flushed red with anger. "You pompous, little brat! I'll have your head!" Her fists were balled at her sides, but she didn't make a move to step toward her.
"Wait just a minute, here," the shopkeeper said. "I thought you said that you were the King of the Gerudos?"
"She is," Link answered, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes smiling. "Or, rather, she was, until she turned into a girl."
"How could you know that, Link?" Murder was flashing in the Gerudo's eyes, but still she didn't move.
Link turned around fully before answering. "I've known it since I first saw you in that dress. I'm an honorary Gerudo, myself, remember? For a race of women, it's surprisingly chauvinistic. Only a man may reign as king, so, when you woke up a girl, you lost the only thing that gave you authority. By your own laws, you were no better than a commoner. Actually, you were worse, because you weren't legally of age yet. Gerudo girls aren't allowed to take the test for maturity until they are 18. Until then, they have to wear dresses, the same design of dress that you wear. That's why you are so eager to break the spell. Until you do, the only throne you'll be sitting on is the one in the latrines."
Ganondorf could take no more. She rushed at Link, yelling madly. Link, however, had been expecting it. In one smooth movement, she slipped her shield off, and used it to flip the charging Gerudo over her back.
"Just so you know, Ganondorf, as long as you're with us on this trip, there will be no funny stuff, whether by your own hands, or by any of your dark friends. Are we clear on that?"
Ganondorf picked herself off of the ground and brushed herself off indignantly. She couldn't believe it. Her temper had been deliberately stoked by Link, and she had done it only to prove a point. Worst of all, Ganondorf had let her. "Yeah," she answered, "we're clear."
* * *
By the time Navi woke up, they were on the road, Link riding Epona, Zelda riding a white horse, and Ganondorf riding the black stallion that she had ridden when her dark forces had assaulted Hyrule Castle.
Navi yawned as she lifted the lip of Link's hat up just enough to flop her head down where it stuck out halfway. "Link, why did you start so early? I was trying to sleep, but with all the shaking, I couldn't get a wink."
Link smiled up at the little fairy. "We had to leave early if we were going to make it there by any decent time. As it is, we won't make it until dusk. Besides, we had to go pick someone up," she added, using her thumb to gesture over to the Gerudo.
Navi took in the evil eyes, the slightly wild hair, and the dark horse. She screamed as she jumped back into Link's hat, a sound that caused the Gerudo to smile. "You brought Ganondorf? Are you nuts?" she yelled as she clutched the hat like a blanket around her neck, only her head sticking out.
"We didn't have a choice," Link answered, reaching up to try to disentangle the fairy from her hat, but Navi just jumped back into it further. Instead, she shrugged as she sighed and continued. "We may need Ganondorf's magical talents in getting past whatever caused all of this."
"That's nice," her muffled voice barely came through the hat, "but what if she tries to kill you while you're asleep? It's not like it's below her, or anything, you know!"
Link smiled as she turned to look at the Gerudo. "Don't worry about that, Navi. We've got that settled, don't we, Ganondorf?"
Ganondorf just snorted as she whipped her head back around, staring at the road ahead with her nose in the air.
* * *
It was, indeed, late when they came within sight of their destination. The sun was setting like fire behind the mountains, and, on the other side, the nightly calls of the forest animals floated out to them. Link looked toward the forest, her heart yearning to be in those woods again. She reminded herself of their present task, and looked toward their target.
On a tall hill, not less than a mile away, a tall tower stood dark and looming, like a giant rook from an ancient chess game.
"That's it, isn't it?" Zelda asked, his eyes, too, locked on the tower.
"Yes," Ganondorf answered. "If that spell originated from anywhere, it was here."
"Great! What are we waiting for?" Link got ready to go again. "I'm getting a bad case of saddle-rump, and I'd like to get some action in." Epona picked up on her feelings, and they were off.
Zelda smiled as he shook his head. "I never will get used to her gung-ho attitude. All she sees is something that needs to be done, and no reason not to do it."
Ganondorf smiled, too. "Yes, Link's spontaneity has caused me quite a bit of confusion. At first, I thought it was a weakness, but now I know it's her strength. As little as it seems she is thinking, inside her head, she is taking everything into consideration so fast that I don't think she even realizes it. It looks like she's rushing headlong in there, but sometimes I wonder. It makes her very unpredictable."
"Perhaps, but if we don't get going, Miss Unpredictable is going to get there before we can catch up." They spurred their horses, and rushed to catch up with Link.
* * *
They stood before the doors to the tower, the horses left behind the last ridge. The three of them stood side by side, weapons all at the ready. Link was in the middle with her sword and shield out. Zelda was on her left, daggers at the ready, and Ganondorf was on her right, standing in a fighting position, once again with her versatile walking stick.
"So," Link said as she stared up at the heavy double doors, "I don't suppose we knock first?"
As if on queue, the doors opened, creaking slowly on their hinges as they swung backwards.
Ganondorf's eyes closed to slits. "Looks like we're expected."
They walked in slowly, letting their eyes adjust to the darkness inside. Once they were all past the door, however, it slammed shut behind them, engulfing them in darkness.
"Oh, great," Zelda said, throwing his hands up in the air, a useless gesture since no one could see it. "Now, what are we supposed to do?"
Suddenly, torches all along the walls lit up, and they could see what they had walked into. The entire tower was hollow. Along the sides of the walls, a long staircase circled up, ending at a door that led above the ceiling, no doubt to the top floor.
There was a burst of flames directly across the room from them. When the flames faded, there was a Wizrobe floating two feet in the air.
"Welcome to my humble abode," the Wizrobe said, his voice high. "What, might I ask, brings you here, weapons bared? Didn't anyone ever teach you that it isn't nice to storm other's houses?"
"Cut the bull, Wizrobe," Link yelled, swinging the sword for emphasis. "Are you the one who cast that spell on us?"
"Spell?" The Wizrobe's glowing red eyes shifted to the back of their hands. "Ah, yes, you are the holders of the Triforce, are you not? I must admit, this is not the effect of the spell that I was hoping to achieve. You see, I lost my Eye of Newt, so I had to substitute with Eye of Salamander. I was hoping it would be sufficient, but, apparently, it was not."
Ganondorf stepped forward, her eyes wide with recognition. "I know who you are! You're Nuranzu, that hapless mage that I had thrown out of my court when you almost melted my throne during your audition!"
The Wizrobe shifted his gaze to the Gerudo, his glowing eyes moving up and down her, sizing her up. "Yes, then you must be Ganondorf, King of the Gerudos. Or is it Queen now? Or Princess? Hand Maiden, perhaps?" He rolled back in midair, paralyzed by a strong fit of laughter while it was all that Ganondorf could do to hold herself back.
"Tell us how to break the spell, Nuranzu," Ganondorf demanded, slamming the base of her stick into the ground to startle him back to attention, "or I swear I'll break your neck!"
"Touchy," he replied as he glared back at her. "Tell you what. If you can get up to the top of this tower, I'll tell you how to break it."
"You're on," Link growled.
Nuranzu smiled. "Very well. I'll have some friends of mine help you out. Hurry. I'll be waiting for you!" With one last laugh, he disappeared. As he did, a million things appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly, the tower was filled with Stalfos and Keese.
"Great," Zelda sighed for the second time that evening, crouching down into a fighting stance as he held his daggers at the ready. "Why can't we ever just walk right in?"
Link smiled as she rushed to meet the first skeleton. "Because that would take all of the fun out of it!"
They charged through it all as best they could, aiming for the stairs. Even when they reached them, they had to fight tooth and nail. At least then, they only had to knock the Stalfos off of the stairs. The Keese they could swat away, and deal with a few bites here and there. That all changed when they got halfway up. The Stalfos had stopped following them, but the Keese had changed their tactics.
Zelda, who was scanning behind them, gasped when he saw it. "Look out! That Keese is on fire!"
They all managed to duck it the first time through, but as it was coming back around, Link drew her hookshot and shot it deafly into the bat's chest. "Come on, we have to hurry," she ordered behind her, waving her hand to enforce it. "Get close to me." They did, and Link hurried to summon magic. When she had it ready, her hands glowing, she threw her hands to the ground, yelling, "Nayru's Love!" Immediately, the blue crystal encircled them, protecting them from the attacks. "Come on," Link yelled, "we have to hurry. I don't know how long it will last."
They ran with everything they had, flinching every time a Fire Keese dive bombed them, flashing slightly before the flame extinguished and it flew back to light itself again.
Finally, they reached the top, bursting through the trap door in the ceiling just as the spell wore off. Zelda kicked at a Keese as he climbed in, knocking it out, then slammed the door down behind him.
They heard clapping behind them, and they whirled around to see the Wizrobe standing there.
"Wonderful," he cried, ecstatic. "Absolutely wonderful! What a run! Ooh, that was great fun!" He shut up quickly, however, as Link walked over, sticking the point of her sword under his chin.
"We've played your little game, Wizrobe. Now tell us how to break the curse!"
Nuranzu swallowed carefully. "It's really quite simple," he answered as he reached for some ingredients to put in his pot. "All I have to do is make this potion, and-"
"No!" they all screamed at once, not wanting to take the chance on him messing up again.
Ganondorf stepped forward. "I will make the potion. You give me instructions, and I will prepare it. Then I will say the incantation, if there is one. Of course, if it turns out to be a trick, you will pay dearly."
Nuranzu bowed quickly. "Of course, of course. Whatever you say."
The Wizrobe gave Ganondorf the instructions, and the two worked to prepare the potion. By midnight, it was finished.
"Give me a beaker," Ganondorf ordered, reaching her hand out toward the Wizrobe.
Nuranzu grabbed the beaker, then hesitated. "Are you sure that you want to do this? I mean, you look so much better this way."
Ganondorf spun around toward him, glaring at him as her power surged around her. "You're this far from getting blasted to the other side of Lake Hylia," she shouted, holding her fingers a hair's breadth apart. "I suggest you shut your mouth while you still have it attached!"
Nuranzu cringed, not even daring to look at her as he held the beaker out in front of him. Link and Zelda, however, who were sitting in the background, merely laughed.
Ganondorf turned to glare at them as soon as she had filled the beaker. "You know, this spell doesn't have to be cast on the three of us. I could leave you two that way."
Quickly, they both shut up.
"Quickly, please," Nuranzu said, guiding all of them into a giant star engraved on the floor. "The spell must be done soon, or it will be too late."
The three of them stood in the center as Navi flew out from under the hat to watch, getting back out of the way of the spell.
Ganondorf started to glow as she began the chant.
"Ones of the Triforce, The time has come. Return to the course That you used to run. Exchange your face For the one that's true. You have finally won the race, And now this test is finally through."
Nuranzu glared in shock. "But that's not the incantation that I told you to use!"
The Triforce symbols on the back of their hands began to glow, shooting a light upwards, uniting into one triangle in the sky. The light flowed back down, surrounding them, each point on the three-piece triangle surrounding its corresponding holder.
Navi's eyes went wide. "Is this the power of the Triforce?"
Nuranzu was also staring up at the sky. "Unbelievable! The pieces are resonating with each other, working as one to accomplish the task!"
The glow around each of them solidified until they each seemed to be in a cocoon. Slowly, the Triforce faded from the sky, and the walls of light surrounding each of them started to crumble from the top, falling down around them.
They could see Ganondorf first, since he was tallest. His spiky red hair blazed like fire on top of his head, his nose sharp, and his eyes glaring. His armor, black as night, covered him as his red cape draped down his back.
Next was Zelda, because she was in front. Her long, blonde hair cascaded down her back, her bangs just covering the tops of her big, blue eyes. Her long, white dress flowed down her, the crest of the royal family displayed regally on her chest, and Triforce earrings hung from her ears.
Navi looked around. The two of them were blocking her view of Link. "Guys," she yelled, "move it, will you? I can't see Link!"
They stepped away, but Zelda gasped at what she saw. Link's form was bent over, shaking.
"Link," she whispered softly, despair in her heart. "Link, didn't it work for you, too?"
Navi fluttered over, hanging close to her partner's head. Her face lit up as her delicate ears caught the truth of the story. "He's not crying! He's laughing!"
All of a sudden, Link shot up. "Whoo-hoo! I'm me again! Yeah!" He went running around the room, hooting and hollering.
Ganondorf hung his head in annoyance, but Zelda and Navi smiled happily. Things were finally back to normal, however noisy that might be.
Suddenly, Ganondorf turned around and walked toward the windows.
Link stopped his parade and turned to look at him. "Leaving so soon, Ganondorf? I figured we could throw a big party! With lots of food!"
Ganondorf grunted in reply. "I have a throne to get back to, and this time, it isn't in a latrine." In a flash, he turned himself into energy and flew out the window.
Link laughed as he ran over to the window, yelling after him, "Hey, don't forget your horse!"
Zelda walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I think it's time we get going, too, Link. I, too, have a kingdom to get back to. And you," she said, turning him around by the shoulders and looking up into his blue eyes, "have a princess to treat to a night on the town." She leaned up into his face and kissed him gently on the lips. She leaned back, holding him at arms length and staring at him questioningly as a shocked look spread across his face. "What, are you going to kiss me back, or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?"
Link smiled widely as he pulled her close, returning her kiss passionately, a green light surrounding them as a wind picked up and they disappeared out of the tower.
Nuranzu stared emptily at the space that had been occupied by the three of them only moments before. "But why did the spell work when they didn't use the proper incantation?"
A blue light flared behind him, and he spun around to see a beautiful woman dressed in a long, blue dress, her blue hair flowing down her back and pooling around her feet.
The Wizrobe was down on his knees in an instant. "Goddess Nayru! For what reason do you honor me with your glorious appearance?"
Nayru smiled gently down at him. "To congratulate you on a job well done, Nuranzu."
The Wizrobe looked up questioningly at her. "But when you gave me that spell, you told me to get the Triforce, and I failed you."
Nayru only continued to smile. "No, you didn't, Nuranzu. You did exactly as I wanted you to. I did not want the Triforce back. I do not need it. After all, I helped create it. I do not need its power. This was a test, for them, and for you. It was a test of your loyalty to me and my sisters. And it was a test of them, to see if they could work together, and to see if they were truly worthy of the power they possess."
Nuranzu bowed his head again. "I have always been loyal to you, your Greatness."
"I know," she answered. "Do not worry. You all passed with flying colors. Even Ganondorf, and I had the least amount of hope for him."
Nuranzu looked up again. "Ganondorf passed? But he is evil!"
Nayru scowled slightly. "No one is completely evil, Nuranzu. Ganondorf showed himself to be able to reach beyond his dark tendencies. If you asked him, he would no doubt tell you that he only did it for his own interest, but his beliefs burn strong within him. He would never admit to it, but he helped save Link from some very nasty characters because he believed that what they were doing was wrong." Her face lit up in a radiant smile. "And please decide whether you will have your head up or down. You're starting to look like a bobble-head."
"A bobble-head, your Greatness?"
"Yes," she said, summoning a miniature doll of herself and tapping it on the head, making it bob up and down. "They were selling them in Hyrule Market, and there was this adorable one of me, and I just couldn't resist picking one up." She grinned widely as she held it up to her face. "They're so cute! Mortals come up with the neatest ideas!"
Nuranzu's face broke into a smile. He couldn't help it. The goddess was just too cheerful for it not to be contagious.
"There," she said victoriously, noticing his smile. "That's more like it! Now, I must be leaving. You have a good life, Nuranzu, and keep an eye out for wet spots on the stairs!"
Nuranzu's smile turned into a grin. "Yes, your Greatness," he called after her as she faded away. "I will! I will!"
Switching Spaces
By: Ninmast
Far to the east of Hyrule, beneath the foothills that connect the Mountains to the Forests, the laboratory of a lone Wizrobe lay hidden, away from prying eyes. This particular Wizrobe paid allegiance to no one in particular. His only goal was to achieve his own ambitions, wherever they came from. Tonight, he was close to achieving that goal. He had found an ancient manuscript relating to the Triforce, one that spoke of a way that two could switch places using its power. He had spent many years studying the spell's components, picking it apart, piece by delicate piece, and putting it back together in a form that would suit his needs.
"Ah, excellent," he exclaimed from the top of the stairs as he went down into the main atrium of his laboratory. "After so many years of painstaking study and work, the spell is finally ready. Now, all I need to do is add this Eye of Newt, and I'll be ready to begin!" He looked admiringly at the eyeball in the glass jar that he held in his hand. Suddenly, he yelped a loud, "Whaaaaa!" as his foot slipped on a particularly damp step. He rolled all the way down to the main floor, the bottle holding the ingredient following down after him. Our Wizrobe may have been ambitious, but, unfortunately, he was also very clumsy. As soon as he landed, he looked up to make sure the ingredient was safe, just in time for the jar to hit him square in the face, then bounce off and hit a corner on the stairs, where it shattered into a million pieces.
"No!" he yelled, picking up the eyeball in his hand. "It's ruined! The final ingredient for the spell is ruined! And I had to send all the way to Holodrum for it, too! Now, what am I supposed to do?" Slowly, in his despair at being so close, his eyes drifted to a jar of salamander eyes he had stored on one of the shelves. "Hmmm," he said, rubbing his chin. "I guess I could always substitute."
A few minutes later, the substitution made, the potion complete, and the timing right, the Wizrobe began his chant.
"Oh, ones of the Triforce, now change places. Exchange your minds, but not your faces. Give to me the power I seek, Make me strong, and leave you meek!"
There was a large magical explosion as the spell was completed, followed by the Wizrobe's insane laughter. "Come morning," he said, "I shall have the power of the Triforce at my command!"
* * *
Morning dawned at Hyrule Castle in spectacular fashion, as always. Sunlight came through the windows, as Navi entertained herself by chasing the dust that the sun revealed. "Ha!" she shouted triumphantly as she palmed an unusually large fleck, her tiny voice seeming barely above a whisper to Impa, who was only down the hall. Suddenly, they both looked up as a delicious smell wafted up the stairway and tempted their noses. "Mmmm!" hummed Navi enthusiastically. "Smells like the Chef's almost got breakfast ready! Smells like he really went out of the way, today!"
"Yes," Impa smiled. "Apparently, he wants to make sure that Link and the princess have a proper breakfast to start a day like today. Come. We should wake them up now so they will be ready in time. They wouldn't want to be late for their ride." Link had stayed at the Castle overnight because he and Zelda had planned to spend the day riding all over Hyrule Field. It had been the talk of the town that it was a date, but whenever confronted about it, both stuttered, blushed, then suddenly remembered something that they had to go do.
They went into the rooms of their respective charges, Impa to Zelda's room, and Navi to Link's. They went up to them slowly, not wanting to startle them awake, and take a chance on ruining their day. Then, as they both got a look at the two's faces, they both dashed out of their respective rooms and back into the hallway, nearly colliding with each other.
Navi was near hysterics. "Link, something's wrong! His face! It's . . . backwards! Well, not backwards, but it's not right!"
Impa, though, was calm. Of course, the calmer she appeared, the more nervous she was. "Yes, there was a similar problem with the princess. What do you think could have caused it?"
"Well," Navi grasped, trying desperately to come up with some kind of explanation, "maybe they ate some bad mushrooms last night at dinner."
"Navi," Impa scowled at the fairy, "now is not the time to be making jokes. Link and Zelda are . . ." But she didn't get to finish. Simultaneously, two screams pierced the hallway as Link and Zelda woke up.
Link came barreling out into the hallway first, wearing the Kokiri Tunic as always. "Navi!" the Hero of Time yelled in an unusually high voice. "What's going on? What happened to me?"
Navi flew up and all around Link, examining her partner's body. Then, returning to eye level, she said, "Wow! And here I thought it only affected your face!"
"What are you talking about," Link demanded as two hands came up and grabbed Navi, shaking her viciously. "What happened to me?"
"Take it easy on me!" she squeaked as she struggled out of Link's hands. "I'm only a fraction of your size, remember?"
"I don't believe it," Impa marveled, the corners of her mouth twitching, the closest she ever came to laughing hysterically. "Link, the Hero of Time, is a girl!"
"Yeah, thanks for the wonderful observation, Sheikah," Link snarled. "What gave it away? Was it my slender figure, or my high voice?"
"Link isn't the only one who's changed," said a rich tenor voice from the princess's room.
"Oh, no," Impa moaned, dread thick in her voice, as she stared at the silhouette in the doorway, just out of the light's reach. "Not you, too, Princess!"
The princess nodded in affirmation, stepping into the hallway, revealing herself to be a himself, complete with broad shoulders, a more muscular build, and, unfortunately, a nightgown.
Link snickered, then suddenly rolled over laughing. "Zelda! You're a guy! And you're wearing a nightgown! Ha ha ha HA!"
Zelda gave her a particularly nasty scowl, and said, "Yes, and you're a girl that's rolling around on the floor giving everyone a good view of your legs all the way up to your panties underneath that tunic of yours."
Immediately, Link sobered herself and sat up straight, keeping her legs carefully crossed.
"What we need to do now is figure out what happened, and fix it," Impa said, a look of no-nonsense engraved on her already critical face. But she stopped as everyone looked at Link when a rumbling sound echoed through the hallway.
"Sorry, guys, that was me," she said as she patted her stomach with one hand and waved with the other. "Tummy says it's time to eat!" She stood up and started to walk toward the stairway. "So, come on and let's go!"
Impa was shocked that Link was so dense. She snarled as she grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her back in front of her. "You idiot! What were you thinking? What do you think is going to happen when you walk down there, huh? Do you think they're going to say, `Oh, Link's a girl! Zelda's a guy! Oh, well, it's not important. Let's just ignore it and act like it didn't happen.`?"
"Oh, sorry," Link said, rubbing the back of her head with her hand. "I guess I forgot."
Everyone fell down in shock at Link's latest show of brilliance. Even Navi was so surprised that she fell right out of the air.
"Link," Zelda said as he pulled himself up off of the ground, "you really are an idiot."
Navi shrugged from her place on the ground. "That's what I've been saying for seven years, but nobody ever listens to the firefly."
Impa was already up. "Obviously, we're not going to get anything done until after breakfast. I'll go down and get us something to eat. Maybe after that, we can concentrate on the problem, undistracted!" She put an angry emphasis on the last word as she threw a particularly wilting look at Link before going down the stairs to the lower floors of the castle.
After Impa left, Navi flew up and gave an extra hard pull on one of Link's hairs, causing her to give an involuntary yelp. "You really are a dolt, you know that? This is something serious, but the first time your stomach growls, you're off and running. You're more worried about that pit than you are about anything else!"
"You're right, Navi," Link sighed as she dropped her chin to her chest. "I'm sorry." Then, suddenly, her eyes brightened as they focused on her expanded chest. "Oh, look-y! I've got boobs!"
Navi and Zelda fell over again. As Zelda got up, he muttered, "Really, Genius? How long did it take you to figure that out?"
"Huh?" Link asked as she looked at Zelda as if shocked that he was speaking to her. "I guess I was so distracted by the overall change that I really didn't pay that much attention to it. Come to think of it," she said, holding them in her hands from the outside of her shirt, "I think mine are bigger than yours were, Zelda!"
Zelda was struck speechless as Navi flew up and yanked another tiny handful of hair, causing another yelp.
"You are such an insensitive little prick, Link! What's wrong with you," she screamed as Link felt the side of her head for any bald spots.
"Hey," Link shouted defensively, "I didn't mean anything by it! I was just making an observation. Yow!" she screamed as Navi yanked her hair again.
"Don't bother," the fairy told Link as she felt around her head again. "You're not losing hair yet, but if you keep this up, it won't be long."
Link sat down in the corner, determined to keep her mouth shut at all costs, lest she let another comment out that might tempt Navi into pulling a few more hairs. This, of course, was a losing battle, and, after a few moments, her eyes drifted back down to her chest. "You know, I always wondered what they felt like," she said as she unceremoniously shoved her hand down the front of her shirt and starting handling them. "Oh, soft! Their squishy like a pillow!"
Navi started toward her again, but Zelda put his hand in front of her. "No, let me handle this one." He gave Navi a look and a grin, and Navi grinned back and nodded. Zelda strode up to Link, and in one swift movement, grabbed a nipple in between two fingers and gave it a hard twist.
"Yowwww! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Link screamed as she shot up. "What did you do that for," Link demanded as she came back down on her feet. "That really hurt!"
"You are a disgusting, little pervert, you know that, Link," Zelda shouted, getting in her face. "You are embarrassing the life out of me, sitting over there playing with yourself like that."
"Calm down, Zelda," Link pleaded, holding her hands up in front of her. "I'm just curious, that's all! I'm not exactly used to this, you know. It's all new, and I just want to know about it."
Zelda turned around, his back to Link and his arms over his chest. "We have a library on the third floor of the castle. It's the largest in all of Hyrule. Surely you can find something that can satisfy your curiosity without being such an embarrassment."
* * *
The day passed as the four of them puzzled over what had happened, and nightfall came without a single answer to any of their questions. Even though they were all still as confused as they had been that morning, they resigned, one by one, to bed, claiming that they were just too tired to keep looking that night.
Morning came splendidly again, as if it didn't have the vaguest idea of what was going on in the castle. Zelda woke up to the smell of food in the hall again. No doubt Link had complained until Impa gave in and got her some food. He smiled as he wondered just how long Link could eat like she always had and not get as big as a whale. The day before, Impa had gone to the trouble of getting him some proper clothes, since all he had were dresses, the proper attire for a princess. Now, however, all of those were the wrong size, and inappropriate attire, anyway. Now, he slipped into some of the clothes that Impa had gotten for him. They were royal blue with silver decoration and consisted of a loose tunic and a loose-legged pair of breaches; it was casual wear fit for a prince.
By this time, however, he was beginning to wonder what was wrong in the hallway. There hadn't been a single sound since he got up. Impa should have been jumping down Link's throat by now. He walked out of his room and into the hallway, to see, sure enough, a large array of food laid out in the middle of the hall, and Impa standing off to one side leaning up against the wall. Link, however, was nowhere in sight.
"Ah, Your Highness," Impa greeted him, standing up. "I see you are wearing some of the clothes I brought you. They look quite nice on you."
"Thank you, Impa. You do have great taste," Zelda responded as Impa gave a nod of thanks. "Um, where is Link? Isn't he up yet? When I smelled the food in here, I was sure she would be out here, inhaling it as usual."
The expression on Impa's face changed to one of worry. "She is not out of her room yet. I brought the food up in hopes of drawing her out, but she is intent on staying in there."
Zelda burrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "So Link is still asleep?"
"No, no," Impa replied, waving her hands in denial. "She is quite awake, and has been since a little before sunrise. She just won't come out, and won't let anyone in. She even refused to let Navi come in."
"Where is Navi, anyway?" Zelda asked, looking around, realizing that the blue fairy was not anywhere in sight.
"I sent her back to the Kokiri Forest to see if the Great Deku Tree knew anything about what has happened to you two. I wouldn't expect her back for at least another day."
"Do you really think that the Deku Tree will be able to help us?"
"I'm not sure," Impa shrugged, "but he is the oldest being in Hyrule. He has knowledge from ages past that even time has forgotten. If an answer lies anywhere, he will know where it is."
"I hope you are right," Zelda sighed, holding his head. "This is so awkward." Then, looking toward Link's door, "I wonder why she is hiding from us. Maybe I can find out." He walked over to Links door and rapped it with his knuckles. "Link, what's wrong? Why won't you come out?"
"Go away," came Link's now-high voice, heavy with tears, from the other side of the door. "I don't want anyone to see me right now!"
Fearing some strange new change in Link that had occurred in the night, Zelda focused his powers on the lock in the door, and opened it as soon as he heard it click. He rushed into the room to see Link sitting on the bed, blood on the sheets next to her. He shut the door, already figuring out what had happened, relief and pity flowing through him in quick succession. "What's wrong, Link? Are you hurt?"
Link looked up at Zelda, her eyes red from crying, and her face flushed in embarrassment, and shook her head. "I'm leaking!" she cried in a low voice.
Zelda smiled at her description. "Don't worry about it. It's perfectly normal. Here," he said, using his powers again and summoning a tampon in his hand. "Use this."
Link took it from his hand, looked at it with shock, and swallowed audibly. "You mean, I'm supposed to stick this whole thing up there?"
Zelda laughed. "Don't be ridiculous," he said, and watched Link's face relax as she sighed. Then, "You're supposed to unwrap it first."
"But, but, Zelda . . ." Link stuttered, but Zelda just turned around and walked back out of the room, waving over his shoulder.
"Hurry up and get out here. Impa already has breakfast waiting."
* * *
The day passed with no more progress than the last, and the morning once again dawned beautifully, oblivious to the predicament of those stuck in the castle.
Link and Zelda sat in front of a window, looking out at the sunrise. They were the only ones up. It was before even Impa's early hours, and Navi hadn't returned from the Kokiri Forest yet, although they expected her that evening.
When the sky had finally gained the first fringes of blue on the horizon, Link, who had been fidgeting with her hands as she looked longingly out the window, finally snapped. "I can't take it any longer," she screamed, slamming her fists down on the windowsill. "We've been stuck up here in the castle for three days, now, and I'm getting claustrophobic!"
Zelda put his hands on her shoulder in an effort to comfort her. "Come now, surely it can't be that bad! By many, Hyrule Castle is considered to be one of the grandest places in Hyrule! Besides, Navi should be back tonight, and I'm sure she found out something from the Great Deku Tree. By this time tomorrow, we'll be ourselves again, and we'll be free!"
Link yanked out from under Zelda's hands as she turned her back to him. "That's too long. I'm a Kokiri, remember? I can't stand not being outside for this long."
Zelda smiled. "We both know you aren't really a Kokiri. You're a Hylian, just like everyone else in this castle."
Link stuck her nose up in the air. "I may not have the blood of a Kokiri in me, but I'm just as much one as Saria is," she said, a pang hitching her voice as she thought of the childhood friend that she hadn't seen in seven years. What would her best friend think if she knew what had happened? she thought, dropping her head back down.
Zelda, intuiting most of what went through Link's head, went over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders again. "You miss her, don't you?"
Link sniffed. "She's my best friend in the world. How could I not?" Suddenly, she went over to a corner of the room, where she kept her stuff. Zelda had gotten on to Link a million times for not putting them in a drawer or desk, like a civilized person would, but piling things in a corner out of the way was an old habit Link had developed after living in a tree for ten years.
Now, she picked her satchel up, the enchanted bag that she had received from Saria as a present for her tenth birthday smooth as velvet in her hand. In one practiced movement, she had fastened it securely to her belt. After a moment of thought, she left her arrows, bow, and shield in the pile, as well as her sheath. Since returning the Master Sword to its pedestal, the well-decorated sheath had seen very little use, as a sheath without a sword serves no real purpose. Zelda had tried to get the Hero a new sword, saying that Link looked wrong without one strapped to the back, but, after wielding the Master Sword, no other blade really felt right.
"What are you doing, now," Zelda asked as Link walked over to the window and looked down, measuring the distance to the ground with her eyes.
"I'm going out. I think I'll take a stroll around the marketplace, maybe visit the Archery Gallery, or something," she answered as she reached into the bag and pulled out the hookshot and fired it into the wood surrounding the window. "I don't care if you come along or not," she continued as she pulled on the chain to make sure the hook was secure, "but I'm going, and you're not going to stop me."
Zelda watched as she swung her legs out of the window, then planted them against the wall, then stood up, saying, "Wait! I'm coming with you."
Link stopped and offered him her hand, smiling as if she knew what he was going to do all along.
* * *
It was still early enough in the morning that the marketplace, though open, was relatively empty, and none of the people that were there seemed to recognize the two of them as they strolled down the stone-paved street into town. They strolled up and down the marketplace, not looking at anything in particular as much as enjoying the overall freedom of being outside the castle. Eventually, they found their way to the Potion Shop. When they walked in, however, they saw a girl about their age. She was wearing a short dress decorated with the designs of the Gerudo, a symbol that meant that she had yet to prove herself in battle and become an adult. This, however, didn't stop her from threatening townspeople, apparently, as she was in the process of terrifying the poor man behind the counter when Link and Zelda came in.
Immediately, Link was in action. She ran over to the girl, yelled, "What do you think you're doing," and spun her around by her shoulders, her arm pulled back in case she needed to swing. When she did, though, she froze. The fiery red hair, though settled down, was still slightly spiked, and the hooked nose was gone, with a slender one in its place, but the evil gaze in the eyes was the same. If she needed further proof, she found it on their hands. On the back of Link's hand, three triangles started to glow, the bottom right one more brightly than the others. On the girl's hand, an identical mark appeared, the top triangle predominant. A gasp from Zelda behind them told her that his, too, was glowing.
The instant their eyes met, the girl dropped the shopkeeper, and Link let go of her shoulder. "You!" they both cried, jumping back as if they each expected the other to strike.
"Ganondorf!" Link yelled. "What are you doing here? Explain yourself! Are you the one who did this to us?"
"Ha!" Ganondorf returned, placing her hands on her hips. "Link, even as a girl, you're still an idiot! At least now I can blame it on you being a dumb blonde."
"What do you mean? I was blonde before!"
Ganondorf chuckled, turning her back to them as she threw her hair over her shoulder. Obviously, she had been given lessons by her underlings to keep her from looking suspicious, and, as always, she was a wonderful actor. "Yes, but when was the last time you heard of a guy being referred to as a dumb blonde?"
"Uh," Link paused as she scratched her head. "Come to think of it, never."
Zelda came up behind the Gerudo. "You still didn't answer our question. Did you have anything to do with it, and what are you doing here?"
Ganondorf turned around in a whirl of red hair and looked up at Zelda, who was now at least a head and a half taller that her. "Zelda, I presume? Of course. It shows in every feature of your face. Male or female, you're still a princess."
Zelda grabbed her by the scruffs of her dress, seeming to pick her up to his own eye level effortlessly. "I suggest that you answer, or else this princess might just decide to get vengeful."
But Ganondorf just chuckled lightly. "No, no, no," she scolded lightly, waving her finger back and forth in the air. "You wouldn't want to break the rules of conduct for royalty, would you? After all, if you did that, you wouldn't be any better than I am."
Zelda dropped his head and reluctantly set her down, a stuck up smirk of victory on the Gerudo's face. "As much as I hate it, you are right. Evil or not, enchantment or none, in this current situation, I cannot condone hitting a girl."
"Ha!" she laughed, arrogance showing from every inch of her posture. "Zelda, you're worse than Link! You pretend to have such high ideals, and yet you are so wrapped up in them that you would never be able to do anything about them in the first place."
Suddenly, Link came around Zelda and fired a fist across the girl's snobby face, sending her flying out of the open door and out into the open marketplace, where she landed unceremoniously on her butt.
Ganondorf stared at Link from her seat on the ground, blatant indignity flaring across her face. "How dare you strike me?!"
Link popped her knuckles as she walked toward the former King of Evil, feeling like her old self for the first time in days. "Zelda may be bound up in rules, but I'm not, and I don't have anything against wiping that cocky, lopsided grin off of that ugly mug of yours. In fact," she added as she popped her neck as well, "I've kinda been missing it."
"Fine, if that's the way you want it," Ganondorf smiled as Zelda and the storekeeper came running out the door after Link. In one quick movement, the Gerudo launched herself at Link and tackled her to the ground.
"Cat fight!" someone yelled, and suddenly guys, boys and men alike, had surrounded the two, cheering as they wrestled, each one grappling, punching and clawing, trying to get the best of the other.
"I wonder what they're fighting about," one said.
"I'll bet one of them was sleeping with the other one's boyfriend," said a second. "Judging from the looks of them, I'd say it was the red head that was sleeping with the blonde's boyfriend. She looks more like the naughty type to me. Blondie looks too much like a goody-two-shoes."
"Aw, who cares," said a third, "I just hope they tear the clothes off of each other before it's all over. Now that would be a show!"
On and on it went, Link and Ganondorf wrestling in the dirt, and men cheering, jeering, and making catcalls the whole time. Zelda watched for a moment simply to see who would win, but soon turned his back on the scene and started back inside.
The storekeeper noticed him turn to leave, put a hand on his shoulder, and said, "Where are you going, son? The show's not over yet!"
"This is disgusting," Zelda replied, his back still to the fight. "They are all acting incredibly barbaric."
"You know, that's exactly what it is about it that turns most men on."
"Yeah, but I'm not most men," Zelda returned as he started to go back inside.
"Hey," the shopkeeper hesitated, a thought occurring to him, "you aren't gay, are you?"
Zelda stopped in his tracks, a look of shock on his face. He spun around to face the shopkeeper. "No, of course I'm not! I'm apparently just more civilized than all of these morons!"
The shopkeeper was about to reply, but then turned back toward the middle of the circle. Zelda turned, too. Something had changed in the fight.
Suddenly, Link kicked Ganondorf in the crotch. As Ganondorf rolled over on the ground in pain, Link climbed on top of her and began punching her in the face, first with one arm, then the other. After about ten of each, she drew her fist back again, then stopped. Instead, she reached down and gave her a few quick slaps to the face, nodded satisfactorily, and got up off of her, and began to limp back toward the shop. Ganondorf, however, didn't move.
Zelda ran to Link's side, letting her lean up against him. The shopkeeper went to Ganondorf to assess the damage. Noticing that the show was over, the other people slowly dissipated.
"Well," Zelda asked as the shopkeeper caught up with him and Link, "how is she?"
"She's alive," he said as he carried her in his arms. "She's just unconscious."
"Put her down on the floor," Zelda said as he guided Link to a chair. As the shopkeeper did so, Zelda used his powers to heal Link. When he was finished, he went over to Ganondorf and did the same, careful, however, to leave her unconscious. He then turned to the matter of clothes. Ganondorf's had been ripped in several places, all of them revealing, as the scant desert outfit didn't cover much in the first place.
Link's clothing, however, was a different story. Even though Ganondorf had fought just as hard as she had, there wasn't a mark on the green outfit.
"Cut it out, will you," Link asked as Zelda checked the clothing all over. "This is my Kokiri Tunic. It's unbreakable," she said with pride in her voice. "It's just a little dusty, that's all." So saying, she brushed at the front of the tunic, and immediately, a large dust cloud poofed up out of the fabric.
"Couldn't you wait to do that until you got outside," the shopkeeper coughed, covering his mouth and nose in a useless attempt to keep the dust out.
"Sorry," Link answered, hacking herself, "I didn't stop to think."
"When did you ever?" Zelda sputtered as he threw a window open and watched as the dust floated out.
After the room had cleared, Link stood up. "I'm going to take a walk," she informed Zelda as she stared cautiously at the still unconscious form of Ganondorf on the floor. "I'm still a little hyper from the fight, and it would give me a chance to clean my shirt off," she explained, pulling at it for emphasis.
Zelda turned to her. "Do you want me to come with you?"
Link shook her head. "Nah, that's okay. I'll be fine. I'll be back in a little bit."
* * *
After a while of walking, Link stopped and leaned up against the brick wall of a building to rest. The adrenaline from the fight had worn off, and, even though Zelda had healed her wounds, he didn't get rid of the heavy tiredness that made her legs feel like dead weights. I've been out of the action for too long, and I'm getting out of shape, she thought, then she grinned as another idea caught her. I
"Well, well, well, boys, what do we have here?"
The rough voice made her jump. She had been so absorbed in her thoughts that she hadn't even heard them come. She looked up then, and she saw three of them, all of them gutter trash, the kind that have nothing better to do all day than to loiter around and wait for a chance to jump somebody. "What do you want," she demanded, her surprise taking the determination out of her tone.
"Ya got any money on ya? That's a good place to start!" The middle one, apparently the leader, held a thick stick in one hand, and was using it to hit the palm of his other hand.
Link grinned wide. "Sorry, boys, I'm all broke," she said cheerily as she reached into her satchel and slowly drew her hand back out. "I spent the last of it on these bombs." She pulled her hand the rest of the way out to reveal a round, black bomb in her hand.
The two men on either side of the first stepped back, but he just grinned, showing rotten teeth, and several holes. "You would never get it lit in time, you know that?"
"You wanna try me," Link taunted as she drew the bomb closer to herself to light it in an instant. "You could say I've had a lot of practice, and I've gotten pretty good."
She noticed the telltale signs of the man preparing to rush at her, and she discharged a small amount of fiery energy from her fingertip and lit the fuse.
The man, however, was faster than he looked. Before Link could draw the bomb back to throw it, he had knocked it out of her hands, hitting it so hard in his panic that it flew into the window of a private house. A few seconds later, glass and stone went everywhere as the bomb exploded with a terrific blast.
The man looked back at the house in shock, then turned to Link with a look on his face as if it had been entirely her fault, and he was going to make her pay. "We can't let you do that again, can we?" So saying, he called the other guys over, and ordered them to hold her down.
The moment they tried, however, one got a foot to the groin, and the other received a fist to the face. After they recovered, though, they redoubled their efforts, and, without escaping a few nasty cuts and bruises, managed to restrain the girl, holding her up against the wall by her shoulders and arms.
"Ah, you're a feisty one, aren't you?" the leader said as he wiped blood from his lip. "I like it when they try to fight it. Of course, I always get my go in the end," he added as a wide grin came across his face and he reached for his pants. At the same moment, one of the men holding her hit her in the head with a bar they had picked up off of the ground. The sight of his hard-on, and mingled feelings of disgust and terror, were the last things she remembered.
* * *
"Shouldn't you wake her?" The storeowner was staring at Ganondorf, who was still unconscious on the floor. Zelda, whom he was talking to, was on the other side of the room, staring out the window.
Zelda turned to him now, staring at him incredulously. "Why do you want her conscious again? Who knows what she might try to do?"
The storekeeper walked behind the counter, and pulled out from under it a sharp, well made long sword. A giant of a man in any condition, with a sword in his hand, he was intimidating to say the least. "I've got this that says she won't try anything this time."
Zelda smiled and nodded. Although he was fairly sure that he was underestimating the Gerudo, the man was at least being prepared for anything. His biggest fear had been that it was a request from lust, instead of true caring. If he was willing to hold a sword against her, that at least showed that he was using his head.
Zelda walked over to Ganondorf, bent down, put one palm on her forehead, and focused. A yellow light glowed on his hand, then disappeared as the Gerudo opened her eyes. The eyes were blurry at first, but then they focused on Zelda. Immediately, there was a sharp intake of breath as Ganondorf crab walked out from under him and rushed to get up.
"Don't worry, Ganondorf," Zelda smiled, "I'm not like you, remember? I'm not going to try to kill you while you're out."
Ganondorf scowled, then looked around the room. "Where is Link?" Of all people that would be there when Zelda woke her, the Hero of Time was one that she was sure of, no doubt to protect the precious princess from the insidious King of the Gerudos at all costs.
"She went out to take a walk," Zelda replied, never moving his eyes away from the Gerudo. "She said she needed some air."
Suddenly a look of rage distorted her previously pretty face. "She what!? You pompous palace brat! You let that idiot go out into the streets alone?"
Zelda balled his fists up on either side, and, in as calm a voice as he could muster, said, "I figured she could handle herself. She is a hero, after all."
"Yeah, but, in case you didn't notice, she's unarmed! With the exception of whatever it is that she has in that bag of hers. Unfortunately, unless you have a visible weapon, the gutter trash in this fair city of yours don't really care who you are. No doubt you spend so much time in that pretty castle of yours, in your pretty room, that you don't know about any of that, do you? Besides," she continued, arms crossed under her well- formed breasts, "armed or not, multiple people against one is not very good odds."
The shopkeeper came up behind them, nodding. "She's right. Your friend took the alleys, and even in the daylight, those are not safe for anyone to be alone, especially not for a pretty little girl like her." He turned toward the door as he continued, "We should go check on her. She's been gone for awhile."
Zelda started to follow him out, with Ganondorf behind him, but then stopped and turned to her as a thought occurred to him. "Ganondorf, why are you suddenly so concerned about Link's well-being?"
"Link is my rival, my equal," she responded. "The last thing I want is for her to be in such emotional shock that she can't even fight. Or even worse," she huffed, "pregnant."
* * *
"Stop sitting there, and move over! It's my turn!" They heard the bickering from a block down and around a corner. The shopkeeper, who was in front, backed up against the wall and pointed toward the other end of the building, indicating that was where he thought it was coming from. Zelda and Ganondorf nodded, then went around him and on toward the end. They came around the corner just as the last man was dropping his pants. On the other side of him were two very happy looking pieces of human filth. Lying prostrate on the ground was the unconscious form of Link, ruffled, battered, stripped, and, miraculously, still breathing.
"Hold it right there," Zelda shouted, pulling a dagger from behind his back. Behind him, Ganondorf and the shopkeeper both took fighting stances as well; the Gerudo with her walking stick, and the man with his sword.
The thugs were so busy they hadn't heard them come up. Needless to say, they were all shocked, but the last man was acutely aware of the fact that he was baring it all to the world. The other two snapped out of their euphoria in an instant, and began looking around for a way of escape. One tried to draw his own dagger from his belt, but Zelda was too fast for him. Years of Sheikah training went into the smooth motion that seemed like one movement, and was almost too quick to see. The next instant, Zelda's dagger was sticking through the man's palm to the hilt. Panicking, the man ran down the alleyway, screaming his head off. The leader, the other man that had been standing off to one side, tried to follow, but in a flash, Ganondorf leaped in front of him.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, almost innocently, right before her stick caught him behind the knee and sent his legs out from under him. The next instant, he was on the ground, Ganondorf's foot was on his chest, and her stick was pulled back ready to strike. "So, you get your kicks from jumping unarmed girls, huh? Well, maybe this will make you think twice!"
As she was talking, the third man had came up behind her, pipe in hand, and, just as she was rearing back to shove her stick into the leader's throat, he pulled the pipe back. It was a move never to be finished, however. Before Ganondorf could strike, she heard the song of a sword coming through the air and spun around just in time to see the end of one come out of the man's stomach. She rolled out of the way as the body slid off of the sword, and turned to see the shopkeeper, the gleaming sword in one hand, and the other offered out to help her up. She was touched for a moment, then she hardened herself again, and knocked his hand away. "A Gerudo never accepts help from a man," she muttered as she pulled herself up.
The leader, however, was staring in shock at the face of the dead man on top of him. Suddenly, he snapped. Throwing the body off of him, he ran down the alleyway screaming as if the Devil, himself, was after him.
Ganondorf stood up, held her stick off in one hand, and stretched her other arm out, her palm facing the back of the man as he ran down the alleyway. Zelda, realizing what she was doing, yelled at her to stop, but she only scowled harder, her face grim as it ever had been. "I'm not through with you yet," she said as a ball of orange energy grew in her hand. In the next instant, she fired it at the man. It caught him full in the back, and blew him to pieces.
When the guards came later that day to inspect the claims of a delusional man with a dagger in his hand, they would only be able to identify the one body, they would take claims from the residents of what was left of the house that the bomb had landed in, and a note would be made about the odd scorch marks on the walls. The claims of crazy killers that the man made, however, would be left as just another unsolved case. The delusional man, however, would die before the area had been blocked off for investigation. The dagger, it seemed, had been tipped with a poison of it's own.
* * *
"Poor Link!" Zelda exclaimed as they entered the store again.
"I tried to warn you," Ganondorf reminded him as she rolled Link haphazardly off of her shoulders into a chair.
A thought occurred to the shopkeeper. "You two seem to know each other pretty well, but you obviously don't get along. Did you two used to be together, then break up, or something?"
Ganondorf turned to him, smiling. "No, nothing quite so romantic, I'm afraid. I just had him kidnapped once, and he never forgave me for it."
The shopkeeper grinned. "Oh, is that all," he responded sarcastically. "And what about this blonde girl? What part did she play?"
"She's the one that came to my rescue," Zelda answered.
"Wait, just wait a minute, here," the shopkeeper said, holding up his hands in surrender. "You mean to tell me that a little girl like that had to come to the rescue of a big guy like you? I mean, to judge by the looks of you, I'd say you were in line for knighthood, yourself."
Zelda looked to Ganondorf and something passed between them, then Ganondorf nodded her approval. "Very well," Zelda said to the shopkeeper. "I guess you've done enough for us, the least we can do is tell you the truth. All of it."
Zelda told the shopkeeper everything, from the story between the three of them to the predicament they were presently in.
"That's a great story," the shopkeeper said when he was done. "and I'd be inclined to believe it if it weren't for one little thing. You said this all happened seven years ago. The only problem is, if it had happened, I would have remembered it. Hyrule's never been overrun. You'd think that would be something I would remember."
"You're right," Ganondorf answered, "and you would remember it, along with numerous other things that you'd probably be glad that you didn't, except Prissy Princess over here erased everyone's memory so it wouldn't interfere with the rest of their lives. Only the three of us that have the Triforce can remember anything."
The shopkeeper turned to Ganondorf. "You said that the Triforce is on the back of your hands. May I see it?"
Ganondorf shrugged. "Sure, I see no reason why not." She held out her hand to him, and he took it, staring at the back.
"Incredible," he said in awe as he watched the Triforce pieces glow with their own light. "The three of you hold the power of the goddesses on the back of your hands."
"It comes in handy," Ganondorf said dismissively.
"Yeah," Zelda snorted, "if you don't mind turning into a giant pig."
Ganondorf's back went stiff. "What was that, Princess?" she asked venomously.
"Nothing," he answered as if he didn't have a care in the world. "I was only saying that I wouldn't care to turn into a giant, ugly, foul-smelling, black pig, that's all."
"Oh, so hiding with the wretched Sheikah and pretending you were one of them for seven years was better?"
"Like you have room to call anyone 'wretched', oh, great King of Evil! The Sheikah protected me and trained me to keep me safe from you!"
"They are called the shadow folk because in the shadows is where they belong! They shouldn't be allowed to exist, and, if I had had my way, they wouldn't."
"If you had your way, nobody would exist!"
They stopped when they heard some stirring on the other side of the room. They turned and saw Link, looking like she'd been beaten by Deku Nuts, but conscious.
"Would you two stop yelling? I've got a splitting headache, and you two are fighting like a married couple."
"We'll stop, Link," Zelda said as he hurried over to her and put his hands on her. "Now, sit still so I can fix you up." Once again, a glow came from his fingertips, covering Link's entire body. "There," he said as he finished and stood back as if to admire his work.
"I appreciate it, Zelda, I really do," Link said, exhaustion heavy in her voice, "and the pain is all gone, but I still feel like a giant sand bag."
Zelda smiled. "I've healed you as much as I can. Now, you're just going to have to sit back and rest, and let your body take care of the rest on its own."
Ganondorf walked up behind him. "However, I would like to complement you on your work."
"What are you talking about," Zelda asked incredulously. "She lost!"
Ganondorf grinned widely, as if she was really enjoying something. "Yeah, but did you see what she did in the process? That alley looked like a war zone!"
As Zelda stared at Ganondorf with shock, and Ganondorf stood there, absorbed in the barbarity of her thoughts, the shopkeeper walked up to Link, the long sword in his hand.
"From what I've heard, I understand that you're the one who knows how to use a sword in this little group of yours."
"Yeah," Link said carefully, "I've had some practice."
Zelda looked down at Link. "It's okay, Link, he knows."
At first, Link looked at Zelda with shock on her face, then, as she got over it, she turned back to the shopkeeper and grinned. "Okay, so I've had more than a little practice."
The shopkeeper grinned back. "I've also heard that you're in need of a new sword, am I correct?"
Link scratched the back of her head. "Yeah, I did have to leave the Master Sword behind."
"Fine then," the shopkeeper exclaimed, holding the sword out to Link. "It's settled! You can take this one." He turned to Zelda and Ganondorf. "You three can stay here as long as you need to. If it turns out that you're going to need to do some travelling, I'd be more than glad to provide you with whatever I can. Just let me know."
* * *
As soon as Link felt up to leaving, she and Zelda headed back for the castle. Ganondorf chose to stay at the store, noting, truly, "A Gerudo would never be trusted inside the castle walls. The King of the Gerudos would never be allowed to live inside those walls."
It was getting towards evening when Link and Zelda reached the castle, and Link had regained much of her previous strength. She didn't seem to remember, however, exactly what had happened in the alley. In fact, she thought they had only tried to mug her. Of course, Zelda just smiled at this, since he had deliberately erased that part of her memory. He couldn't imagine how Link would react if she knew that she had been raped.
They came up under the window to Link's bedroom. Link reached into her bag to get the hookshot, pointed it at the windowsill, and fired. The hook caught and pulled them up to the window. Quietly, they stepped in, careful to make as little noise as possible, lest someone hear them come in. Link went over and picked up her sheath, then pulled the shopkeeper's long sword out of her satchel.
"Nice sword. Did you get it while you were out parading around the marketplace?"
They turned to see Impa step out of the shadows in the corner. Fury was written in every line of her face. "What were you thinking, going out there like that? What if someone recognized you?" She turned to Zelda. "Princess, I had expected you, of all people, to know the importance of such secrecy!"
"It's my fault," Link spoke up as she stepped between Zelda and Impa, as if to shield him from further scolding. "It was my idea to go out. I was feeling like a caged animal, and I baited Zelda into following me."
Impa crossed her arms across her chest. "You acted like a caged animal, too." But she understood the motivation behind her actions. She had been raised as a Kokiri, in the outdoors, and it had been only a matter of time before she tried something like this. "Come," she said, still scowling, "Navi has returned, and she bears much news."
They went out into the hall, where the blue, glowing fairy was flittering around in the air excitedly. "Link! Zelda! You're back! You wouldn't believe what I found out! The Great Deku Tree said that it was an old spell that did this to you, and that, on the night that it happened, he felt three big spots of energy. One here, where you guys were, one in Gerudo Valley, and one beyond Zora's Domain."
"Did he know a cure for it," Zelda demanded eagerly.
Navi stopped flittering and looked down sadly. "No, he didn't. He said that the spell had been twisted, so it didn't work the same way as it had originally been meant to work. We're going to have to go find whoever did it to find out how to change you back."
Impa rubbed her chin in thought. "Gerudo Valley? Could Ganondorf be stirring up trouble again?"
"Ganondorf?" Navi responded. "He's pretty crazy, but why would he do something like this?"
"It wasn't Ganondorf," Zelda said as something clicked.
Impa and Navi turned to face him. "What is it, Princess?"
Link's eyes went wide as she, too, caught on to Zelda's train of thought. "That's what she was doing in the Potion Shop!"
"What are you babbling about, Link," Navi shouted as she flew up in front of her face.
"We saw Ganondorf in the Potion Shop today," Link answered. "She was threatening the store owner."
"She?" Impa asked. "Do you mean that Ganondorf was affected by the spell, too?"
"Ganondork's a girl?" Navi laughed gleefully. "Now that's something that I'd like to see!"
"She must have been trying to find out how to reverse the spell, too," Link continued as the pieces started to come together.
"Of course," Zelda said as he slapped himself in the forehead. "How could we be so blind? That's why she thought we were so stupid when we asked if she was behind it!"
"No wonder she was so insulted when I punched her," Link said as she rubbed her knuckles, remembering. "For a change, she hadn't even done anything."
"What happened with Ganondorf," Impa demanded. "Was it her that caused the damage in the back alleys?"
"Actually," Link answered, her hand behind her head, "that was me. I was mugged back there, but I didn't have a sword, so I had to defend myself somehow. I took out a bomb, and meant to throw it at them, but one of them knocked it out of my hands and sent it through a window before I could do it."
Impa turned to her in shock. "They mugged you? What happened next?"
"Then they knocked me out, and the next thing I knew, Zelda, Ganondorf, and the shopkeeper had come to my rescue, and had brought me back to the shop."
"Ganondorf helped to rescue you?" Navi was obviously having a hard time believing it.
"It's true," Zelda answered, walking up beside Link. "She said it was because Link is her greatest rival, and I guess she wants to be the one to kill her, not someone off of the street."
"You trusted her?" Impa stared at them, shocked by the very idea.
"We didn't have much choice," Link said as she scowled back at the Sheikah. "Anyway, isn't there more important things for us to do? Like figuring out what's happening on the other side of Zora's Domain?"
"That will wait until tomorrow," Impa answered. "For now, you should go to bed. It is a long trip, and you will all need to be fully rested."
Zelda looked at Impa quizzically. "Aren't you coming with us, Impa?"
"No, Princess. I must stay here and cover for your absence. Make sure that you return soon, however. The Crowned Princess of Hyrule has already stayed inside her room for three days. Much longer, and people will start to be suspicious."
* * *
Link and Zelda were up early the next morning. They had dressed, eaten, and were ready to go by a little after sunrise. Link was dressed in her usual battle attire, with her Hylian Shield and the long sword strapped to her back, and Navi, still asleep, under her hat. Fortunately, her Kokiri Boots were as self adjusting as her tunic, as she had been delighted to discover after Zelda had offered to let her use a pair of his old dress boots. Zelda was dressed almost like his alter ego, Sheik, minus the head wrap and the Eye of Truth on his chest. In their place, he wore a white bandana on his head, and the symbol of the Royal Family on his chest.
Link shuffled with the sheath strap across her chest for the hundredth time as they got out to the horse stalls.
"What is wrong with you," Zelda asked, turning to her. "You got a strap burn under there already?"
Link shook her head as she moved it again. "It's crushing my boob."
"For the tenth time today, Link, it's a breast, not a boob," Zelda said as he walked over to help. "There, that should do it," he said as he moved it between the two, cushioning it so it wouldn't rub.
"I don't care what it is, I can't wait until this adventure's over so it will be gone!" They came into the stalls, and Link walked over to Epona. "Hey, Epona," she said softly as she reached out to rub the horse's nose. "Are you ready to go for a ride?" As her hand reached the horse, though, Epona jerked back, neighing loudly, and kicking out in front of her. "Calm down, Epona," Link yelled, trying to make herself heard over the horse. "It's just me, Link!"
Zelda came up behind her. "I don't think she recognizes you, Link."
Link smiled as she realized that. "Yeah, I guess I do look a little different, don't I, Epona? I know," she said as she reached into her satchel and pulled out her wooden ocarina. She put it to her lips and began to play, softly at first, then, as Epona started to calm down, she played a little louder as she stepped toward the horse. She reached out for the horse's nose again as she finished the song, and this time, Epona let her. "That's right, Epona, it's me. Something happened, and I know I don't look the same, but it is me."
Zelda had already saddled his own horse, and he called to Link as he climbed on. "Now that you two have settled your differences, perhaps we can go ahead and leave?"
"You know, whenever you are in that outfit, it's like you are an entirely different person," Link scowled as she strapped Epona's saddle on her. "And that person has a major attitude problem." She jumped on and, with an encouraging word to Epona, galloped out of the stable.
Zelda stared after her for a bit, then threw his head back and laughed. When he was done, he spurred his own horse, and galloped off to catch up with them.
* * *
"Ganondorf!" Link yelled as she and Zelda burst into the shop. "Ganondorf, we found out where the spell came from!"
The Gerudo turned around from the counter where she had been talking to the shopkeeper. "Already? And here I thought dimwits like you two would take another month." She meant that they were smarter than she had given them credit for, but she would never give them the satisfaction of hearing it from her own lips.
"Yes, well, whatever it is that you think," Zelda said, barely holding back his own venom, "we thought that we should be considerate and give you a chance to come with us."
"Of course," she agreed, as if discussing something as simple as the color of an outfit. "After all, it would be two against one if I decided to, oh, I don't know," she continued, bringing one finger up to her chin as the other caressed a dagger at her side, "take advantage of an opportunity along the road one evening."
Link just smiled at the obviously empty threat. "We all know you wouldn't, Ganondorf. You need us as much as we need you. That is, unless you like being a girl."
Ganondorf's eyes flared. "I despise it!"
"Good! I thought you would," Link said as she put her hands behind her head as she turned to walk back out. "Then let's get going, shall we? I'm sure you'd like to get back to your throne tonight, instead of having to kneel before it, right?"
Ganondorf clenched her teeth, and her face flushed red with anger. "You pompous, little brat! I'll have your head!" Her fists were balled at her sides, but she didn't make a move to step toward her.
"Wait just a minute, here," the shopkeeper said. "I thought you said that you were the King of the Gerudos?"
"She is," Link answered, glancing over her shoulder, her eyes smiling. "Or, rather, she was, until she turned into a girl."
"How could you know that, Link?" Murder was flashing in the Gerudo's eyes, but still she didn't move.
Link turned around fully before answering. "I've known it since I first saw you in that dress. I'm an honorary Gerudo, myself, remember? For a race of women, it's surprisingly chauvinistic. Only a man may reign as king, so, when you woke up a girl, you lost the only thing that gave you authority. By your own laws, you were no better than a commoner. Actually, you were worse, because you weren't legally of age yet. Gerudo girls aren't allowed to take the test for maturity until they are 18. Until then, they have to wear dresses, the same design of dress that you wear. That's why you are so eager to break the spell. Until you do, the only throne you'll be sitting on is the one in the latrines."
Ganondorf could take no more. She rushed at Link, yelling madly. Link, however, had been expecting it. In one smooth movement, she slipped her shield off, and used it to flip the charging Gerudo over her back.
"Just so you know, Ganondorf, as long as you're with us on this trip, there will be no funny stuff, whether by your own hands, or by any of your dark friends. Are we clear on that?"
Ganondorf picked herself off of the ground and brushed herself off indignantly. She couldn't believe it. Her temper had been deliberately stoked by Link, and she had done it only to prove a point. Worst of all, Ganondorf had let her. "Yeah," she answered, "we're clear."
* * *
By the time Navi woke up, they were on the road, Link riding Epona, Zelda riding a white horse, and Ganondorf riding the black stallion that she had ridden when her dark forces had assaulted Hyrule Castle.
Navi yawned as she lifted the lip of Link's hat up just enough to flop her head down where it stuck out halfway. "Link, why did you start so early? I was trying to sleep, but with all the shaking, I couldn't get a wink."
Link smiled up at the little fairy. "We had to leave early if we were going to make it there by any decent time. As it is, we won't make it until dusk. Besides, we had to go pick someone up," she added, using her thumb to gesture over to the Gerudo.
Navi took in the evil eyes, the slightly wild hair, and the dark horse. She screamed as she jumped back into Link's hat, a sound that caused the Gerudo to smile. "You brought Ganondorf? Are you nuts?" she yelled as she clutched the hat like a blanket around her neck, only her head sticking out.
"We didn't have a choice," Link answered, reaching up to try to disentangle the fairy from her hat, but Navi just jumped back into it further. Instead, she shrugged as she sighed and continued. "We may need Ganondorf's magical talents in getting past whatever caused all of this."
"That's nice," her muffled voice barely came through the hat, "but what if she tries to kill you while you're asleep? It's not like it's below her, or anything, you know!"
Link smiled as she turned to look at the Gerudo. "Don't worry about that, Navi. We've got that settled, don't we, Ganondorf?"
Ganondorf just snorted as she whipped her head back around, staring at the road ahead with her nose in the air.
* * *
It was, indeed, late when they came within sight of their destination. The sun was setting like fire behind the mountains, and, on the other side, the nightly calls of the forest animals floated out to them. Link looked toward the forest, her heart yearning to be in those woods again. She reminded herself of their present task, and looked toward their target.
On a tall hill, not less than a mile away, a tall tower stood dark and looming, like a giant rook from an ancient chess game.
"That's it, isn't it?" Zelda asked, his eyes, too, locked on the tower.
"Yes," Ganondorf answered. "If that spell originated from anywhere, it was here."
"Great! What are we waiting for?" Link got ready to go again. "I'm getting a bad case of saddle-rump, and I'd like to get some action in." Epona picked up on her feelings, and they were off.
Zelda smiled as he shook his head. "I never will get used to her gung-ho attitude. All she sees is something that needs to be done, and no reason not to do it."
Ganondorf smiled, too. "Yes, Link's spontaneity has caused me quite a bit of confusion. At first, I thought it was a weakness, but now I know it's her strength. As little as it seems she is thinking, inside her head, she is taking everything into consideration so fast that I don't think she even realizes it. It looks like she's rushing headlong in there, but sometimes I wonder. It makes her very unpredictable."
"Perhaps, but if we don't get going, Miss Unpredictable is going to get there before we can catch up." They spurred their horses, and rushed to catch up with Link.
* * *
They stood before the doors to the tower, the horses left behind the last ridge. The three of them stood side by side, weapons all at the ready. Link was in the middle with her sword and shield out. Zelda was on her left, daggers at the ready, and Ganondorf was on her right, standing in a fighting position, once again with her versatile walking stick.
"So," Link said as she stared up at the heavy double doors, "I don't suppose we knock first?"
As if on queue, the doors opened, creaking slowly on their hinges as they swung backwards.
Ganondorf's eyes closed to slits. "Looks like we're expected."
They walked in slowly, letting their eyes adjust to the darkness inside. Once they were all past the door, however, it slammed shut behind them, engulfing them in darkness.
"Oh, great," Zelda said, throwing his hands up in the air, a useless gesture since no one could see it. "Now, what are we supposed to do?"
Suddenly, torches all along the walls lit up, and they could see what they had walked into. The entire tower was hollow. Along the sides of the walls, a long staircase circled up, ending at a door that led above the ceiling, no doubt to the top floor.
There was a burst of flames directly across the room from them. When the flames faded, there was a Wizrobe floating two feet in the air.
"Welcome to my humble abode," the Wizrobe said, his voice high. "What, might I ask, brings you here, weapons bared? Didn't anyone ever teach you that it isn't nice to storm other's houses?"
"Cut the bull, Wizrobe," Link yelled, swinging the sword for emphasis. "Are you the one who cast that spell on us?"
"Spell?" The Wizrobe's glowing red eyes shifted to the back of their hands. "Ah, yes, you are the holders of the Triforce, are you not? I must admit, this is not the effect of the spell that I was hoping to achieve. You see, I lost my Eye of Newt, so I had to substitute with Eye of Salamander. I was hoping it would be sufficient, but, apparently, it was not."
Ganondorf stepped forward, her eyes wide with recognition. "I know who you are! You're Nuranzu, that hapless mage that I had thrown out of my court when you almost melted my throne during your audition!"
The Wizrobe shifted his gaze to the Gerudo, his glowing eyes moving up and down her, sizing her up. "Yes, then you must be Ganondorf, King of the Gerudos. Or is it Queen now? Or Princess? Hand Maiden, perhaps?" He rolled back in midair, paralyzed by a strong fit of laughter while it was all that Ganondorf could do to hold herself back.
"Tell us how to break the spell, Nuranzu," Ganondorf demanded, slamming the base of her stick into the ground to startle him back to attention, "or I swear I'll break your neck!"
"Touchy," he replied as he glared back at her. "Tell you what. If you can get up to the top of this tower, I'll tell you how to break it."
"You're on," Link growled.
Nuranzu smiled. "Very well. I'll have some friends of mine help you out. Hurry. I'll be waiting for you!" With one last laugh, he disappeared. As he did, a million things appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly, the tower was filled with Stalfos and Keese.
"Great," Zelda sighed for the second time that evening, crouching down into a fighting stance as he held his daggers at the ready. "Why can't we ever just walk right in?"
Link smiled as she rushed to meet the first skeleton. "Because that would take all of the fun out of it!"
They charged through it all as best they could, aiming for the stairs. Even when they reached them, they had to fight tooth and nail. At least then, they only had to knock the Stalfos off of the stairs. The Keese they could swat away, and deal with a few bites here and there. That all changed when they got halfway up. The Stalfos had stopped following them, but the Keese had changed their tactics.
Zelda, who was scanning behind them, gasped when he saw it. "Look out! That Keese is on fire!"
They all managed to duck it the first time through, but as it was coming back around, Link drew her hookshot and shot it deafly into the bat's chest. "Come on, we have to hurry," she ordered behind her, waving her hand to enforce it. "Get close to me." They did, and Link hurried to summon magic. When she had it ready, her hands glowing, she threw her hands to the ground, yelling, "Nayru's Love!" Immediately, the blue crystal encircled them, protecting them from the attacks. "Come on," Link yelled, "we have to hurry. I don't know how long it will last."
They ran with everything they had, flinching every time a Fire Keese dive bombed them, flashing slightly before the flame extinguished and it flew back to light itself again.
Finally, they reached the top, bursting through the trap door in the ceiling just as the spell wore off. Zelda kicked at a Keese as he climbed in, knocking it out, then slammed the door down behind him.
They heard clapping behind them, and they whirled around to see the Wizrobe standing there.
"Wonderful," he cried, ecstatic. "Absolutely wonderful! What a run! Ooh, that was great fun!" He shut up quickly, however, as Link walked over, sticking the point of her sword under his chin.
"We've played your little game, Wizrobe. Now tell us how to break the curse!"
Nuranzu swallowed carefully. "It's really quite simple," he answered as he reached for some ingredients to put in his pot. "All I have to do is make this potion, and-"
"No!" they all screamed at once, not wanting to take the chance on him messing up again.
Ganondorf stepped forward. "I will make the potion. You give me instructions, and I will prepare it. Then I will say the incantation, if there is one. Of course, if it turns out to be a trick, you will pay dearly."
Nuranzu bowed quickly. "Of course, of course. Whatever you say."
The Wizrobe gave Ganondorf the instructions, and the two worked to prepare the potion. By midnight, it was finished.
"Give me a beaker," Ganondorf ordered, reaching her hand out toward the Wizrobe.
Nuranzu grabbed the beaker, then hesitated. "Are you sure that you want to do this? I mean, you look so much better this way."
Ganondorf spun around toward him, glaring at him as her power surged around her. "You're this far from getting blasted to the other side of Lake Hylia," she shouted, holding her fingers a hair's breadth apart. "I suggest you shut your mouth while you still have it attached!"
Nuranzu cringed, not even daring to look at her as he held the beaker out in front of him. Link and Zelda, however, who were sitting in the background, merely laughed.
Ganondorf turned to glare at them as soon as she had filled the beaker. "You know, this spell doesn't have to be cast on the three of us. I could leave you two that way."
Quickly, they both shut up.
"Quickly, please," Nuranzu said, guiding all of them into a giant star engraved on the floor. "The spell must be done soon, or it will be too late."
The three of them stood in the center as Navi flew out from under the hat to watch, getting back out of the way of the spell.
Ganondorf started to glow as she began the chant.
"Ones of the Triforce, The time has come. Return to the course That you used to run. Exchange your face For the one that's true. You have finally won the race, And now this test is finally through."
Nuranzu glared in shock. "But that's not the incantation that I told you to use!"
The Triforce symbols on the back of their hands began to glow, shooting a light upwards, uniting into one triangle in the sky. The light flowed back down, surrounding them, each point on the three-piece triangle surrounding its corresponding holder.
Navi's eyes went wide. "Is this the power of the Triforce?"
Nuranzu was also staring up at the sky. "Unbelievable! The pieces are resonating with each other, working as one to accomplish the task!"
The glow around each of them solidified until they each seemed to be in a cocoon. Slowly, the Triforce faded from the sky, and the walls of light surrounding each of them started to crumble from the top, falling down around them.
They could see Ganondorf first, since he was tallest. His spiky red hair blazed like fire on top of his head, his nose sharp, and his eyes glaring. His armor, black as night, covered him as his red cape draped down his back.
Next was Zelda, because she was in front. Her long, blonde hair cascaded down her back, her bangs just covering the tops of her big, blue eyes. Her long, white dress flowed down her, the crest of the royal family displayed regally on her chest, and Triforce earrings hung from her ears.
Navi looked around. The two of them were blocking her view of Link. "Guys," she yelled, "move it, will you? I can't see Link!"
They stepped away, but Zelda gasped at what she saw. Link's form was bent over, shaking.
"Link," she whispered softly, despair in her heart. "Link, didn't it work for you, too?"
Navi fluttered over, hanging close to her partner's head. Her face lit up as her delicate ears caught the truth of the story. "He's not crying! He's laughing!"
All of a sudden, Link shot up. "Whoo-hoo! I'm me again! Yeah!" He went running around the room, hooting and hollering.
Ganondorf hung his head in annoyance, but Zelda and Navi smiled happily. Things were finally back to normal, however noisy that might be.
Suddenly, Ganondorf turned around and walked toward the windows.
Link stopped his parade and turned to look at him. "Leaving so soon, Ganondorf? I figured we could throw a big party! With lots of food!"
Ganondorf grunted in reply. "I have a throne to get back to, and this time, it isn't in a latrine." In a flash, he turned himself into energy and flew out the window.
Link laughed as he ran over to the window, yelling after him, "Hey, don't forget your horse!"
Zelda walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. "I think it's time we get going, too, Link. I, too, have a kingdom to get back to. And you," she said, turning him around by the shoulders and looking up into his blue eyes, "have a princess to treat to a night on the town." She leaned up into his face and kissed him gently on the lips. She leaned back, holding him at arms length and staring at him questioningly as a shocked look spread across his face. "What, are you going to kiss me back, or are you just going to stand there like an idiot?"
Link smiled widely as he pulled her close, returning her kiss passionately, a green light surrounding them as a wind picked up and they disappeared out of the tower.
Nuranzu stared emptily at the space that had been occupied by the three of them only moments before. "But why did the spell work when they didn't use the proper incantation?"
A blue light flared behind him, and he spun around to see a beautiful woman dressed in a long, blue dress, her blue hair flowing down her back and pooling around her feet.
The Wizrobe was down on his knees in an instant. "Goddess Nayru! For what reason do you honor me with your glorious appearance?"
Nayru smiled gently down at him. "To congratulate you on a job well done, Nuranzu."
The Wizrobe looked up questioningly at her. "But when you gave me that spell, you told me to get the Triforce, and I failed you."
Nayru only continued to smile. "No, you didn't, Nuranzu. You did exactly as I wanted you to. I did not want the Triforce back. I do not need it. After all, I helped create it. I do not need its power. This was a test, for them, and for you. It was a test of your loyalty to me and my sisters. And it was a test of them, to see if they could work together, and to see if they were truly worthy of the power they possess."
Nuranzu bowed his head again. "I have always been loyal to you, your Greatness."
"I know," she answered. "Do not worry. You all passed with flying colors. Even Ganondorf, and I had the least amount of hope for him."
Nuranzu looked up again. "Ganondorf passed? But he is evil!"
Nayru scowled slightly. "No one is completely evil, Nuranzu. Ganondorf showed himself to be able to reach beyond his dark tendencies. If you asked him, he would no doubt tell you that he only did it for his own interest, but his beliefs burn strong within him. He would never admit to it, but he helped save Link from some very nasty characters because he believed that what they were doing was wrong." Her face lit up in a radiant smile. "And please decide whether you will have your head up or down. You're starting to look like a bobble-head."
"A bobble-head, your Greatness?"
"Yes," she said, summoning a miniature doll of herself and tapping it on the head, making it bob up and down. "They were selling them in Hyrule Market, and there was this adorable one of me, and I just couldn't resist picking one up." She grinned widely as she held it up to her face. "They're so cute! Mortals come up with the neatest ideas!"
Nuranzu's face broke into a smile. He couldn't help it. The goddess was just too cheerful for it not to be contagious.
"There," she said victoriously, noticing his smile. "That's more like it! Now, I must be leaving. You have a good life, Nuranzu, and keep an eye out for wet spots on the stairs!"
Nuranzu's smile turned into a grin. "Yes, your Greatness," he called after her as she faded away. "I will! I will!"
