When It's All Pretend

A month later, Lily Evans found herself looking through a stack of books she never thought she'd read in her life. Then again, Lily never would've guessed something like this could HAPPEN in her life. How an oblivious elementary-school misfit like herself could be a witch mystified her. She'd always thought they were stories, like things she imagined. Smiling absentmindedly, she knew she was finally going to live out a story. She found herself suddenly slipping away into another pretense, as she often did. She imagined herself meeting people just like her at this new school, people who would accept her and would pretend things too. She could see herself already, becoming bright and happy, someone everyone could like and respect, someone everyone envied just a little. Little adventures with faceless people ran through her head, and she suddenly snapped out of it as she felt a slight pressure on her shoulder.

Jerking her head around, she was surprised to see her mother standing behind her. Mrs. Evans took a seat next to her youngest daughter and sighed softly, fondly smoothing down a loose strand of Lily's hair. She looked off for a moment, and Lily waited patiently, knowing her mother was going to say something to her.

"Lily dear..I want you to know that I think this school, Hogwarts...It's going to be an absolutely WONDERFUL experience for you," Mrs. Evans told her in a happy but wistful voice. She turned to look at her daughter. "I am proud of you for being welcomed into what sounds like a wonderful school, dear. But...I'm also going to miss you so much,"she said, eyes watering slightly.

Lily felt a lump in her throat. "I'll miss you too," she said. "I promise I'll write you all the time, and you can always expect Cleo to arrive with letters," she promised, referring to her new caramel-colored owl.

Lily's mother looked down at her for a moment, and then she reached to hug her. "It's going to be a hard year without you, Lily," she told her softly. "You better take advantage of your time at Hogwarts, dear. Make many new friends and work to the best of your ability. But most of all, please just have fun being yourself and being happy.."

Lily felt slightly annoyed by the bossy tone, but she shrugged it down. "I will,Mum,"she promised.

"Oh yes," said Mrs. Evans, beaming and reaching over into her bag. "I bought you something for when you go to Hogwarts."

Lily looked up questionably, wondering what it could be. Her mother handed her the bag, and upon taking it, she pulled out two books, a small one and a large one, and many bags of muggle candy. Her mother smiled.

"This is a diary I got you," her mother said,pointing to the smaller book, which was a beautiful shade of green covered with golden swirls of light and pictures of hazy-looking people that seemed to blend in with the background. It just screamed 'Lily'.

"Thanks,Mum,"Lily said. However, she'd never really kept a diary before, so she really didn't know what she was going to do with it.

"I know you probably don't want to keep a diary, since you haven't grown accustomed to keeping one before, dear. However, I honestly think you should give it a try. Try writing in it at least once every other day, and sooner or later you'll learn to love writing in it. I went through the same thing myself when I was younger, and I found that it really helped me to express myself while keeping certain situations and event private. It's also just a wonderful way to let out whatever you're thinking, and it really works wonders when you're muddled or wondering what to do," Lily's mother said. Lily smiled at the almost-speech her mother had just made. Because she was an actor, she tended to be very wordy, not that Lily couldn't be wordy when she wanted to be.

"Alright, I'll try it out,"Lily said. "But what's the other one for?"

"Scrapbooking," her mother said with a mischievious grin.

Lily groaned. "I am NOT scrapbooking." Mrs. Evans and Petunia loved scrapbooking, but Lily found it boring and a waste of time and energy that could be spent on something more important, like being lazy.

Her mother looked at her for a moment before realizing she wasn't going to be able to change the situation, and then signed relentingly. "Okay, you don't have to keep it as a scrapbook. But mayeb you could just use it to put in pictures and drawings and the like," she said, trying to bargain the situation.

"Sure, whatever," Lily answered, stopping herself from rolling her eyes. Then she grinned, saying,"I LOVE the candy though."

"I thought you would," her mother answered knowingly, eyes twinkling. "I daresay you won't get much of a chance to get Reese's and the like while at a school of witches and wizards." Lily and her mother had been to a sweets store in Diagon Alley and found that out themselves.

Lily smiled at her mother, and then they sat there in silence for a moment. "I took a week off of work," her mother suddenly told her, turning to look at her. Lily looked up in surprise. "I thought we might spend some time together before you go away," said Mrs. Evans.

Lily made a noise of something between excitement and surprise. "Thanks Mum! That's really awesome!" she exclaimed, leaping up to hug her.

Mrs. Evans hmphed indignantly. "Could I do antyhing less when my youngest daughter is about to leave for an entire year?"

Lily just smiled and felt warm inside. She was going to miss her mother very much, even if she could get annoying at times.

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Another month later, Lily had finally found herself on the actual train. THE train. The train that would take her to Hogwarts. She'd had a bit of trouble with the platform, but an older girl in charge of helping muggles find the platform had seen her wondering around the area and had come to help her. Now she sat in an empty compartment near the middle of the train, wondering what was going to happen next. She hoped whoever else came to sit by her in the compartment would be nice, so she could possibly make...friends. It felt strange to Lily to think of this, almost foreign. She wasn't used to having friends. She had a slight recollection of having a few friends before she hit Kindergarten, but she honestly could remember no friends after that. Her face grew hot with this embarrassment. She suddenly wondered if she would even make friends here, and what she should do if she DID. It wasn't as though she was used to them. She grew more and more worried about this, until someone suddenly entered the compartment, sliding into the empty seat easily. Lily looked up at the girl.

Surprisingly enough, this girl looked just like some of the girls at her own school. Maybe she was a muggleborn too, Lily thought.

"Er...Who are you?" the girl suddenly asked Lily, looking at her curiously. She had a preppy sound to her voice, and Lily desperately hoped she wouldn't end up to be a snob.

"I'm Lily Evans,"she said uncomfortably. "Um...Who are you?"

"Autumn Blakely," answered the girl in an offhandish way. They both sat in an awkward silence for a while, and Lily blushed, embarrassed. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. She decided to say something to break the silence.

"Is this your first time at Hogwarts?"Lily asked.

"Yes. What about you?"asked Autumn.

"Yup. Are you a muggleborn or a pureblood, or what?" Lily asked awkwardly. She'd learned about these from one of the extra reading books she'd bought from the bookstore.

"Halfblood. Are you a muggleborn?"

"Yes, how'd you know?" Lily asked in surprise.

"Your clothes," the girl answered in an offhandish way.

"Oh," answered Lily, and they fell into an awkward silence once again. As she was wracking her brains for more questions that wouldn't sound stupid, the compartment door burst open, and some people suddenly sprinted in, slamming the door behind them.

They laughed hysterically for about a minute before finally noticing Lily and Autumn. As they all shut up, one of the boys stepped forward, looking embarrassed and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Er...Sorry for this. You don't mind if we sit in here with you, do you?" he asked.

Lily and Autumn looked at each other and then both replied,"No, go ahead."

As the boys sat down, they started introducing who they were. The boy who had stepped forward was Remus Lupin, Lily found out, and the boy with the cropped hair who seemed to talk a bunch was James Potter. The last boy was Sirius Black, who looked really innocent and trustworthy, like Remus did. After everyone had introduced themselves, the boys started talking a mile a minute, asking them questions. The compartment was filled with laughter, and Lily suddenly felt her awkwardness slowly go away. She found out that Sirius and James were both purebloods and Remus was a half-blood. She found that all of the others, including Autumn, hated Slytherins. Lily didn't know much about them, but as soon as everyone found this out, they proceeded to tell stories about them, interrupting each other to fill in facts and such.

Everyone had a chance to tell what houses they wanted to be in, though Lily's choice was only based off what she'd read. Ravenclaw seemed like a house she'd want to be in, but the others all wanted to be in Gryffindor. Somehow the chat turned to Quidditch, and Lily, who didn't understand anything they were saying, suddenly found herself to be left out. They all chatted animatedly to themselves, and she found herself growing bored and slipping into a pretense. Closing her eyes, she began to tune out the others and imagine strangely random things, like what it'd be like if she was in America, what she'd be like five years from now. She could see herself knowing everyone, being someone everyone loved. Her thoughts were interrupted when one of the boys, Sirius, laughed jovially and said," Lily's falling asleep, everyone, we need to keep her awake!"

As she looked up, she suddenly noticed that the before-innocent Sirius was now sharing an evil grin with James, and suddenly she found herself being tickled. She grinned and then started laughing loudly, saying,"I'm not ticklish at all, you know."

Sirius and James looked disappointed and sighed loudly. "Yes, well, we tried."

Remus smiled at her, saying,"You're the only person I've ever met who could fall asleep while listening to others talk about Quidditch."

Lily didn't bother to point out that she wasn't falling asleep, because she didn't want to tell them about how she pretended things, but replied,"I probably wouldn't if I knew what Quidditch was."

The boys all gaped, and then Autumn slapped a hand to her forehead, saying,"I completely forgot you were a muggleborn,Lily!" Suddenly, everyone began talking at once, trying to explain what Quidditch was. By the end of the trip, they were still talking about it, and Lily felt her head aching. Finally, however, the talking stopped as they all saw the Hogwarts castle. They were there. The announcement came on, telling everyone in the train to change into their rooms. Lily and Autumn shooed the boys out of the compartment, and the adventure went on from there.

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WHEEEE!! I finished another chappie! This is so cool, I've never gotten to a FOURTH chapter before, let alone, updated it so QUICKLY after the last chapter! My muse is FINALLY doing its job! Anyways, yeah. REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REVIEW!!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!REVIEW!!!!!! Must have more inspiration!

But anyways, yeah, does anyone know how to type in italics for the story if you only have WordPad?

Lotsa love,

Kristi