Chapter 15 - I Will Survive
Mulder walked into the living room and did something he very rarely did. He walked over to where the liquor was stored and poured himself a good stiff drink of whiskey.
He made a slight face as he quickly drank the liquid feeling it first burn his throat and then send a slow feeling of warmth throughout his body. He paused a second before taking another quick shot, then picked up the bottle and walked over to the couch.
Mulder placed the bottle of whiskey and the glass on the coffee table and then leaned forward his face in his hands. He didn't want to think about what had just transpired but he had to.
He had to make at least himself understand why he let Wendy do what she did. If he couldn't explain it to himself, he definitely wouldn't be able to explain it to Scully.
That is if he ever got the chance to explain. He shuttered and took another shot of whiskey as he remembered the look of shock turning into one of pain when his partner had first realized what was happening.
How could he ever get her to forgive him? He wasn't sure he could forgive himself.
All he really could remember was Wendy following him into the kitchen and trapping him by the sink and laying her hands on him. The rest was mostly a blur until Wendy had stepped away from him and he had seen Scully standing there.
Mulder knew it had been a long time since he had truly been with a woman. His hormones were racing at even a higher throttle with all that was going on between him and Scully. But was he so desperate that he would succumb to the first touch of the first woman who came along?
He hadn't thought so, but obviously that appeared to be the case.
Mulder sat back, sighed and thought about Wendy. He had to admit that she was an attractive woman who he had noticed almost immediately during the first party Scully and he had attended.
He had also noticed immediately that Wendy had the type of presence and personality that drew people to her. He hadn't thought her as being all that sexual - at least until the night before.
After those few moments alone together it seemed like the mere sight of her got him aroused. But why?
Mulder thought and analyzed and thought some more and the only thing he could think of was deprivation. He was as horny as hell and whereas his mind was willing to wait for as long as it took to bring Scully around, his body wanted action and wanted it now.
"Could it be as simple as that?" Mulder said to himself pouring another shot of whiskey. "Am I really that pathetic?"
He drank the whiskey down a bit slower this time. His motions were getting slower as the effects of the whiskey made themselves felt. "She is better off without me."
The only thought Scully had as she walked out of the kitchen was to run. Run as fast and as far as she could away from Fox Mulder.
She grabbed her purse and hurried into the garage not wanting Mulder to catch her. Scully doubted that he would follow her and part of her was disappointed when she was able to climb into the car and hurry down the street without him even making an effort to stop her.
She vaguely remembered seeing Agnes standing in one of her gardens looking at her with concern as she backed out of the driveway and headed down the street in the opposite direction from where Wendy would be walking.
That was her last conscious thought. After that she drove on autopilot - aimlessly driving around Minneapolis stopping only to refill her tank and grab a quick cup of coffee.
When she grew too weary to drive any further, she pulled into a parking lot and turned off her car. Only then did she take the time to notice where she was.
Scully was sitting in front of a large cathedral made of stone. She smiled to herself as she acknowledged the fact that at least her subconscious mind was trying to help her find peace.
Scully got out of the car and after glancing at her watch, realized there was a very good reason for the stiffness that encompassed her body. She had been driving around for close to four hours.
She slowly walked up the stairs and into the church. It was very quiet with only one other person - a man sitting with his head bowed in prayer - sitting in the front pew.
Scully genuflected and got into the back pew. She dropped down on her knees and said a quick prayer, as she always did for her father and sister, and then she just let the silence surround her.
It was only when her heart had stilled that she allowed a tear to fall.
She sat silently still letting her mind clear itself and giving herself the opportunity to, for the first time, really think about what she had witnessed.
On the one hand, Scully was perfectly aware that she had no real claim over Mulder. Both of them were free to date whomever they wished whenever they wanted.
But up until today, neither of them had chosen to do so.
Scully thought about the implied promise of a deepening of their relationship upon their return to DC. Perhaps Mulder was just sowing his wild oats while he could.
Or, maybe Mulder was just playing his role as Richard Buckland. He knew he had to stir up the pot a bit to try and get a reaction out of Agnes. Maybe he was just doing that.
"No, it's not that" Scully murmured to herself. If that was the case, Mulder would have done his pawing of Wendy out where someone could see them, not in his own kitchen.
Scully sighed deeply and tried to figure out which disappointed her more. The fact that Mulder was kissing another woman - and by all appearances enjoying it very much - or that she was incredibly hurt and jealous by his actions.
Unable to answer this question herself, she bent her head again to ask for guidance from her God.
She had seen Scully stormed out of the house and knew that soon her opportunity would come.
She was frankly quite surprised to find both the garage door and the door into the house open. In her effort to flee as quickly as possible, Scully had forgotten to shut them.
She walked into the room and found it to be completely silent except for a small sound emanating from the living room.
Going into the living room, she found Mulder sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep and snoring quietly.
She shook her head as she glanced from Mulder, to the empty whiskey bottle, to the shot glass lying on its side on the floor back to Mulder again.
"This is going to be easier than I thought" she said to herself as she withdrew a small vial of bluish liquid from her pocket. Originally she had thought to pour into the liquid into something he would drink, but now all she would have to do was to use the eye dropper and put the liquid directly into his slightly open mouth.
She bent over Mulder and noticed as she brought the eye dropper closer, that his face showed signs of freshly fallen tears. "Poor guy" she thought as she easily administered her potion "Perhaps you really do love her after all. But think wisely my friend, for if you do not follow your heart down the right path I will see you dead."
She stroked his forehead tenderly for a second and then left the house, closing the door behind her.
It was completely dark when Mulder managed to open his eyes. As soon as he did, he wanted nothing more than to close them again.
He glanced at the coffee table and saw the empty whiskey bottle. The mere sight of the bottle made him groan.
Mulder forced himself into an upright position and with a bit of effort managed to stand. He was a bit wobbly but got himself into the kitchen and opened up the fridge.
He grabbed the carton of orange juice and was about to take a drink when a wave of nausea hit him. He barely made it to the kitchen sink before relieving himself of most of the whiskey that was still sitting in his stomach.
Mulder waited a moment to make sure he was done, and then headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth. It was while doing this that he noticed the clock sitting by the bed.
It read 9:30 - he had been sleeping for hours.
Only after brushing his teeth and drinking a good quart of orange juice did his head clear enough for him to realize that Scully still hadn't returned to the house.
Mulder reached for his cell phone and quickly punched in her number - all he got in return was a message asking him to leave a message.
He didn't bother. He knew that if she wanted to talk to him, she would have left the phone on.
Suddenly Mulder felt the overwhelming need to find his partner. To not only make sure that she was all right, but that they were all right too.
He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door not knowing exactly where he was going.
Mulder wasn't really surprised to find her there, sitting quietly in the pew lost in her own thoughts. He was only surprised that he had thought to look for her here in the first place.
He quietly approached her and stood silently waiting.
Scully felt his presence and slowly opened her eyes and turned to him. He could tell instantly that she had been crying and it broke his heart to know that he had brought her so much pain.
Scully silently rose and walked past him out of the church.
He followed her waiting for her lead on how to proceed.
She said nothing, just got in her car and drove back to the house. Mulder followed her wondering how he could possibly cross the gap that had come between them.
End of Chapter 15
Mulder walked into the living room and did something he very rarely did. He walked over to where the liquor was stored and poured himself a good stiff drink of whiskey.
He made a slight face as he quickly drank the liquid feeling it first burn his throat and then send a slow feeling of warmth throughout his body. He paused a second before taking another quick shot, then picked up the bottle and walked over to the couch.
Mulder placed the bottle of whiskey and the glass on the coffee table and then leaned forward his face in his hands. He didn't want to think about what had just transpired but he had to.
He had to make at least himself understand why he let Wendy do what she did. If he couldn't explain it to himself, he definitely wouldn't be able to explain it to Scully.
That is if he ever got the chance to explain. He shuttered and took another shot of whiskey as he remembered the look of shock turning into one of pain when his partner had first realized what was happening.
How could he ever get her to forgive him? He wasn't sure he could forgive himself.
All he really could remember was Wendy following him into the kitchen and trapping him by the sink and laying her hands on him. The rest was mostly a blur until Wendy had stepped away from him and he had seen Scully standing there.
Mulder knew it had been a long time since he had truly been with a woman. His hormones were racing at even a higher throttle with all that was going on between him and Scully. But was he so desperate that he would succumb to the first touch of the first woman who came along?
He hadn't thought so, but obviously that appeared to be the case.
Mulder sat back, sighed and thought about Wendy. He had to admit that she was an attractive woman who he had noticed almost immediately during the first party Scully and he had attended.
He had also noticed immediately that Wendy had the type of presence and personality that drew people to her. He hadn't thought her as being all that sexual - at least until the night before.
After those few moments alone together it seemed like the mere sight of her got him aroused. But why?
Mulder thought and analyzed and thought some more and the only thing he could think of was deprivation. He was as horny as hell and whereas his mind was willing to wait for as long as it took to bring Scully around, his body wanted action and wanted it now.
"Could it be as simple as that?" Mulder said to himself pouring another shot of whiskey. "Am I really that pathetic?"
He drank the whiskey down a bit slower this time. His motions were getting slower as the effects of the whiskey made themselves felt. "She is better off without me."
The only thought Scully had as she walked out of the kitchen was to run. Run as fast and as far as she could away from Fox Mulder.
She grabbed her purse and hurried into the garage not wanting Mulder to catch her. Scully doubted that he would follow her and part of her was disappointed when she was able to climb into the car and hurry down the street without him even making an effort to stop her.
She vaguely remembered seeing Agnes standing in one of her gardens looking at her with concern as she backed out of the driveway and headed down the street in the opposite direction from where Wendy would be walking.
That was her last conscious thought. After that she drove on autopilot - aimlessly driving around Minneapolis stopping only to refill her tank and grab a quick cup of coffee.
When she grew too weary to drive any further, she pulled into a parking lot and turned off her car. Only then did she take the time to notice where she was.
Scully was sitting in front of a large cathedral made of stone. She smiled to herself as she acknowledged the fact that at least her subconscious mind was trying to help her find peace.
Scully got out of the car and after glancing at her watch, realized there was a very good reason for the stiffness that encompassed her body. She had been driving around for close to four hours.
She slowly walked up the stairs and into the church. It was very quiet with only one other person - a man sitting with his head bowed in prayer - sitting in the front pew.
Scully genuflected and got into the back pew. She dropped down on her knees and said a quick prayer, as she always did for her father and sister, and then she just let the silence surround her.
It was only when her heart had stilled that she allowed a tear to fall.
She sat silently still letting her mind clear itself and giving herself the opportunity to, for the first time, really think about what she had witnessed.
On the one hand, Scully was perfectly aware that she had no real claim over Mulder. Both of them were free to date whomever they wished whenever they wanted.
But up until today, neither of them had chosen to do so.
Scully thought about the implied promise of a deepening of their relationship upon their return to DC. Perhaps Mulder was just sowing his wild oats while he could.
Or, maybe Mulder was just playing his role as Richard Buckland. He knew he had to stir up the pot a bit to try and get a reaction out of Agnes. Maybe he was just doing that.
"No, it's not that" Scully murmured to herself. If that was the case, Mulder would have done his pawing of Wendy out where someone could see them, not in his own kitchen.
Scully sighed deeply and tried to figure out which disappointed her more. The fact that Mulder was kissing another woman - and by all appearances enjoying it very much - or that she was incredibly hurt and jealous by his actions.
Unable to answer this question herself, she bent her head again to ask for guidance from her God.
She had seen Scully stormed out of the house and knew that soon her opportunity would come.
She was frankly quite surprised to find both the garage door and the door into the house open. In her effort to flee as quickly as possible, Scully had forgotten to shut them.
She walked into the room and found it to be completely silent except for a small sound emanating from the living room.
Going into the living room, she found Mulder sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep and snoring quietly.
She shook her head as she glanced from Mulder, to the empty whiskey bottle, to the shot glass lying on its side on the floor back to Mulder again.
"This is going to be easier than I thought" she said to herself as she withdrew a small vial of bluish liquid from her pocket. Originally she had thought to pour into the liquid into something he would drink, but now all she would have to do was to use the eye dropper and put the liquid directly into his slightly open mouth.
She bent over Mulder and noticed as she brought the eye dropper closer, that his face showed signs of freshly fallen tears. "Poor guy" she thought as she easily administered her potion "Perhaps you really do love her after all. But think wisely my friend, for if you do not follow your heart down the right path I will see you dead."
She stroked his forehead tenderly for a second and then left the house, closing the door behind her.
It was completely dark when Mulder managed to open his eyes. As soon as he did, he wanted nothing more than to close them again.
He glanced at the coffee table and saw the empty whiskey bottle. The mere sight of the bottle made him groan.
Mulder forced himself into an upright position and with a bit of effort managed to stand. He was a bit wobbly but got himself into the kitchen and opened up the fridge.
He grabbed the carton of orange juice and was about to take a drink when a wave of nausea hit him. He barely made it to the kitchen sink before relieving himself of most of the whiskey that was still sitting in his stomach.
Mulder waited a moment to make sure he was done, and then headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth. It was while doing this that he noticed the clock sitting by the bed.
It read 9:30 - he had been sleeping for hours.
Only after brushing his teeth and drinking a good quart of orange juice did his head clear enough for him to realize that Scully still hadn't returned to the house.
Mulder reached for his cell phone and quickly punched in her number - all he got in return was a message asking him to leave a message.
He didn't bother. He knew that if she wanted to talk to him, she would have left the phone on.
Suddenly Mulder felt the overwhelming need to find his partner. To not only make sure that she was all right, but that they were all right too.
He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door not knowing exactly where he was going.
Mulder wasn't really surprised to find her there, sitting quietly in the pew lost in her own thoughts. He was only surprised that he had thought to look for her here in the first place.
He quietly approached her and stood silently waiting.
Scully felt his presence and slowly opened her eyes and turned to him. He could tell instantly that she had been crying and it broke his heart to know that he had brought her so much pain.
Scully silently rose and walked past him out of the church.
He followed her waiting for her lead on how to proceed.
She said nothing, just got in her car and drove back to the house. Mulder followed her wondering how he could possibly cross the gap that had come between them.
End of Chapter 15