Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh or this Staind song. Please do not sue me.
Warning: Angst, self-hate, and mentions of abuse and torture. Ryou being made to go through hell.
Suffer
Suffer
Ryou locks himself in his room, falling to the floor. Holding his face in his hands he sobs, unable to control himself. The pain is just too much now.
The more you see the more you do
The television's feeding you
With what you want to hear
Anger and fear
Because you suffer
He can't stand what's been happening to his life in the past few years. It's become a down spiral ever since his father brought home that damned ring! He can't escape it, or the spirit inside, even if he were to mail it all the way across the world it would find its way back. And his Yami…his Yami was only getting worse, now getting ideas of new torture for his lighter half.
The tears increase as images of just a few minutes ago flash through his mind. Ryou shakes his head, almost convinced now that he deserves what the dark one does to him, because he's weak. He wanted to be strong for Bakura, so that the spirit wouldn't be ashamed of him. So he endures the suffering, praying it would make him stronger.
The hate you feel won't go away
You're all programmed to feel this way
to live another day
within a world
that loves to suffer
Ryou hated it though. He couldn't withstand the pain. It was as if it were planted within him now, something he could no longer run from. But it also made him feel as if he's alive still in this strange world, this world that thrives on agony and suffering. He continues to cry.
And then I come to find
everything's okay
Seen this all before
but that was yesterday
I try to walk right through
the messes that I've made
just let me enjoy
the life here that I've made
The next day it was as if it had never happened. His Yami had never touched him. It's just falling back into routine. He'd done this all before with perfect mastery, acted like nothing was ever wrong, meeting up with his friends.
As he walked with his friends to school Ryou has the chance to reflect on how he keeps trying to face his own problems head on, so he doesn't tell anyone about what Bakura does to him. He just wanted to live the life he had before the ring, and remember how happy he used to be. He can do this. He can survive. He can find his own life again.
I tried to keep it all inside
Didn't leave me too much pride
forced it all down inside
forced myself
to make me suffer
When he sat down at his desk he had to flinch. It still hurt. He hated it. He forced that down though, against his will, against his better judgement. It only adds to the pain but he needs it. He needed the pain to feel alive. To become stronger.
The more he suffered, the stronger he would get, right?
And then I come to find
everything's okay
seen this all before
but that was yesterday
I try to walk right through
the messes that I've made
just let me enjoy
the life here that I've made
Ryou had to go home at the end of the day, finally free of school. This is still routine, and mostly safe because his Yami refused to stay in the ring anymore so he wouldn't go to school. He knew he had to go home, even if he'd rather run out of the town. But he had to face the hand that fate had cruelly dealt him, and with a loud sigh he enters sadly thinking that he can't even remember the last time he was happy to be home.
And then I come to find…
Ryou froze in the doorway with a gasp. Bakura had been waiting for him. He could see in his dark half's smile that tonight was going to be another night of pain.
End
CK: So what do you think of this one? It was a little different than Seto's, but still kinda angsty. Had more to do with abuse though. Made sense with the song.
Neo: I don't get you. You actually thin people like this stuff?
CK: I can hope. My next plan is to do one that is either from Joey or from Malik. Any suggestions? I have songs picked out, just haven't made the final decisions on them.
Neo: Review her or she might stop posting all together! She's been very discouraged by the lack of reviews for the first chapter, but she had this chapter all set up on paper so she decided to do it anyway.
CK: Neo, don't tell them that!