Disclaimer: Sigh. Still don't own the fairy tales. whoever wwrote them does...
But on with the laughter!
*#*#*
There was once a Prince. His parents urged him to get
married, but he wanted to wait for a real Princess,
whatever that was. The Prince was so stupid as to think
that he would know it when he saw it.
Word of his wanting a real Princess got out into the
surrounding towns a villages, and soon beggars and choosers
of all types came knocking at the door.
now the Prince was too stupid to realize that these were
not Princesses after all, but really whores dressed i na
little more than they're usual attire. He didn't really
care, that's how desperate he was.
But his mother cared.
She had read her script, knew that she had to make sure
that they were all real Princesses. She read:
"All real Princesses can feel a pea under one huindred
mattresses. When they wake up in the morning they should be
sore and black and blue where the pea was placed."
Now, the Queen was dyslexic, and made her son pee on the
bottom mattress, then haul one hundred matresses up to the
top.
The Prince did whatever his mommy told him to do, and so
each morning the fake Princesses came to breakfast
complaining about their beds being wet. One by one they
were all sent away.
Finally, no one even bothered to try anymore.
Except for one poor little goose girl, and she didn't even
mean to get to the palace in the first place.
*#*#*
One dark and stormy night, a tired girl walked up to a huge
set of doors. She knocked tiredly, and gained admittance
almost immediately.
"Welcome, Princess," said the butler. "I didn't do it," he
quickly added.
"Hi. I'm-" The girl stopped and thought to herself, 'I
could reap major benefits if I say that I am Princess.
Heck, i could even become Queen!' "Yes, I'm a Princess."
The goose girl was very smart and thought quickly about all
of the books that she had read. "I have been set upon-eth
by a band-eth of brigands, and I have lost-eth my traveling
companions and all-eth my riches." She said primly.
"Ok, follow me." The butler wondered why she was talking in
such a funny way, but decided that if she truly was a real
Princess, she would be different from all of the other
girls who had come.
So the butler lead her to a suite of rooms that seemed
grand to the goose girl, but was really a broom closet.
"Oh thank-eth you, Kind-eth sir!"
"Sure, it's my job, lady." The butler blushed and
shrugged. "Do you want to come down for dinner?"
"Okee-eth dokee-eth!"
So she did.
When she went back up to her broom closet, she found a
booklet lying on her bed, which was piled high with one
hundred and one mattresses. "Wow, what a waste," said the
goose girl to herself.
Even still, she climbed on top of the mattresses and began
to read. She read the Queen's script until well past
midnight, reading also the part about the pea. Then she
fell asleep.
*#*#*
In the morning when she woke up, she climbed down off the
mattresses and went down to breakfast, making sure to limp
and look sore.
"I didn't sleep-eth a wink, and I'm all sore-eth and black
and blue-eth," she recited perfectly, wondering why her bed
had been so wet. Of course no one was going to check if she
really was black and blue, so they believed her.
"You shall be married at once!"
The Prince and the goose girl were married at once, just as
the Queen said.
"I do," said the Prince.
"I do-eth," said the Princess Goose Girl.
"Stop talking so funny."
"Ok." The Princess said. "C'mon, let's go happily ever
after."
And they did- with many wet beds, since the Queen
constantly wanted to make sure the Princess was still a
Princess.
THE END
Author's Note: This is fun! Thanks, chibified, for reviewing! :o)
I had loads of fun writing this one...and i was so hyper because of sugar this time...jeez...it's almost sad, but it's still funny...:o) heehee. this kind of got disgusting, and immature, but that's ok! The other one i have is...well, i'll keep that a surprise!
bwahaha...
anymore suggestions are very welcome!
-EvenSong-
But on with the laughter!
*#*#*
There was once a Prince. His parents urged him to get
married, but he wanted to wait for a real Princess,
whatever that was. The Prince was so stupid as to think
that he would know it when he saw it.
Word of his wanting a real Princess got out into the
surrounding towns a villages, and soon beggars and choosers
of all types came knocking at the door.
now the Prince was too stupid to realize that these were
not Princesses after all, but really whores dressed i na
little more than they're usual attire. He didn't really
care, that's how desperate he was.
But his mother cared.
She had read her script, knew that she had to make sure
that they were all real Princesses. She read:
"All real Princesses can feel a pea under one huindred
mattresses. When they wake up in the morning they should be
sore and black and blue where the pea was placed."
Now, the Queen was dyslexic, and made her son pee on the
bottom mattress, then haul one hundred matresses up to the
top.
The Prince did whatever his mommy told him to do, and so
each morning the fake Princesses came to breakfast
complaining about their beds being wet. One by one they
were all sent away.
Finally, no one even bothered to try anymore.
Except for one poor little goose girl, and she didn't even
mean to get to the palace in the first place.
*#*#*
One dark and stormy night, a tired girl walked up to a huge
set of doors. She knocked tiredly, and gained admittance
almost immediately.
"Welcome, Princess," said the butler. "I didn't do it," he
quickly added.
"Hi. I'm-" The girl stopped and thought to herself, 'I
could reap major benefits if I say that I am Princess.
Heck, i could even become Queen!' "Yes, I'm a Princess."
The goose girl was very smart and thought quickly about all
of the books that she had read. "I have been set upon-eth
by a band-eth of brigands, and I have lost-eth my traveling
companions and all-eth my riches." She said primly.
"Ok, follow me." The butler wondered why she was talking in
such a funny way, but decided that if she truly was a real
Princess, she would be different from all of the other
girls who had come.
So the butler lead her to a suite of rooms that seemed
grand to the goose girl, but was really a broom closet.
"Oh thank-eth you, Kind-eth sir!"
"Sure, it's my job, lady." The butler blushed and
shrugged. "Do you want to come down for dinner?"
"Okee-eth dokee-eth!"
So she did.
When she went back up to her broom closet, she found a
booklet lying on her bed, which was piled high with one
hundred and one mattresses. "Wow, what a waste," said the
goose girl to herself.
Even still, she climbed on top of the mattresses and began
to read. She read the Queen's script until well past
midnight, reading also the part about the pea. Then she
fell asleep.
*#*#*
In the morning when she woke up, she climbed down off the
mattresses and went down to breakfast, making sure to limp
and look sore.
"I didn't sleep-eth a wink, and I'm all sore-eth and black
and blue-eth," she recited perfectly, wondering why her bed
had been so wet. Of course no one was going to check if she
really was black and blue, so they believed her.
"You shall be married at once!"
The Prince and the goose girl were married at once, just as
the Queen said.
"I do," said the Prince.
"I do-eth," said the Princess Goose Girl.
"Stop talking so funny."
"Ok." The Princess said. "C'mon, let's go happily ever
after."
And they did- with many wet beds, since the Queen
constantly wanted to make sure the Princess was still a
Princess.
THE END
Author's Note: This is fun! Thanks, chibified, for reviewing! :o)
I had loads of fun writing this one...and i was so hyper because of sugar this time...jeez...it's almost sad, but it's still funny...:o) heehee. this kind of got disgusting, and immature, but that's ok! The other one i have is...well, i'll keep that a surprise!
bwahaha...
anymore suggestions are very welcome!
-EvenSong-