Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Rapunzel.
Thank you to chibified for reviewing.
I think that I will dedicate this chapter.
Dedicated to: You who read this.
Sorry, that seemed kind of stupid. But I mean it.
Now, enough of me, more of the story.
Read and Review and Enjoy!
Rapunzel, An Unhappy Hermit
The woman looked at the child sitting on her lap and
sighed. This was the next hermit in the line. She looked at
her servant.
"Go get the witch woman."
He did.
"Go pick seven heads of lettuce."
He did.
"Hello witch woman. I want you to train my daughter in the
art of hermit-hood. I will give you four heads of lettuce
if you will do this."
"Uh huh," said the witch woman. Then she emitted a three
foot long stream of drool.
"Eww!! Take all seven!! And the child!" The woman thrust
her daughter at the witch woman who just smiled happily and
took a big chunk out of the lettuce.
"Mmm."
The witch woman took the girl and walked with her to a
tower. Then she locked her inside.
"You shall be a hermit!" The witch woman declared and
locked the tower and threw away the key. "Oh, and by the
way, I think that I will name you after this really good
lettuce. Your name shall be Rapunzel!"
Then the witch woman left the child in the tower, coming
once a week to replenish the food supply and make sure that
the child bathed.
Rapunzel grew into a lovely woman, with loads of long
blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and beautiful red lips.
She was also very smart, since she was a hermit, and had
nothing to do but read the dictionary all day.
As the years went by, the witch woman came every week to
make sure that Hermit Rapunzel had enough food and to make
sure that she bathed. Since she had stupidly thrown away
the key, the woman climbed up Rapunzel's long blonde hair,
after saying the password (which cannot be revealed).
One day, a dashing prince rode up to the tower. He had
heard Rapunzel singing to the birds and contemplating the
mysteries of life.
"Oh fair maiden," the dashing prince intoned when he caught
a look at her. "Wouldst thou marry me?"
"Wha-who? Who are you?" Rapunzel asked, because she was not
used to having strange men propose to her.
"I am Prince Fabio," said Prince Fabio.
"Oh, that's nice. I'm Rapunzel." Rapunzel did not know that
she should not give out any personal information to
strangers, because she had never heard of stranger
danger. "Well, anyway, Prince Fabio, I will not marry you
on the grounds that I don't know you and you could be a
murderer for all I know. So I won't marry you. Good bye."
Now Prince Fabio did not take this well, and he stormed the
tower, opening the door with a key that he had found along
his travels. Once inside, he picked up a screaming Hermit
Praunzel and left. He tied her to his horse, trying not to
trip over her ridiculously long hair.
He married her when he got back to the castle, and she did
not appreciate this at all.
Now she was Princess Rapunzel, instead of Hermit Rapunzel,
and she much preferred the latter. As they lay together in
bed that night, she strangled him with her hair, since it
left no finger prints.
In the morning, she calmly announced that the Prince was
dead. His parents died from shock, since they were very old
anyway, and not a major important part of the story.
Rapunzel took over the kingdom, and lived happily ever
after as Queen Rapunzel, Hermit.
She kept to the tower room in her castle, took only
consorts and never married, and eventually gave her own
daughter to the witch woman to be trained in the art of
Hermit-Hood.
The kingdom's population took its fashion sense from its
Queen, and they all became Hermits. In the end, it turned
out to be a kind of utopia, and they all lived happily ever
after.
The End.
Thank you to chibified for reviewing.
I think that I will dedicate this chapter.
Dedicated to: You who read this.
Sorry, that seemed kind of stupid. But I mean it.
Now, enough of me, more of the story.
Read and Review and Enjoy!
Rapunzel, An Unhappy Hermit
The woman looked at the child sitting on her lap and
sighed. This was the next hermit in the line. She looked at
her servant.
"Go get the witch woman."
He did.
"Go pick seven heads of lettuce."
He did.
"Hello witch woman. I want you to train my daughter in the
art of hermit-hood. I will give you four heads of lettuce
if you will do this."
"Uh huh," said the witch woman. Then she emitted a three
foot long stream of drool.
"Eww!! Take all seven!! And the child!" The woman thrust
her daughter at the witch woman who just smiled happily and
took a big chunk out of the lettuce.
"Mmm."
The witch woman took the girl and walked with her to a
tower. Then she locked her inside.
"You shall be a hermit!" The witch woman declared and
locked the tower and threw away the key. "Oh, and by the
way, I think that I will name you after this really good
lettuce. Your name shall be Rapunzel!"
Then the witch woman left the child in the tower, coming
once a week to replenish the food supply and make sure that
the child bathed.
Rapunzel grew into a lovely woman, with loads of long
blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes and beautiful red lips.
She was also very smart, since she was a hermit, and had
nothing to do but read the dictionary all day.
As the years went by, the witch woman came every week to
make sure that Hermit Rapunzel had enough food and to make
sure that she bathed. Since she had stupidly thrown away
the key, the woman climbed up Rapunzel's long blonde hair,
after saying the password (which cannot be revealed).
One day, a dashing prince rode up to the tower. He had
heard Rapunzel singing to the birds and contemplating the
mysteries of life.
"Oh fair maiden," the dashing prince intoned when he caught
a look at her. "Wouldst thou marry me?"
"Wha-who? Who are you?" Rapunzel asked, because she was not
used to having strange men propose to her.
"I am Prince Fabio," said Prince Fabio.
"Oh, that's nice. I'm Rapunzel." Rapunzel did not know that
she should not give out any personal information to
strangers, because she had never heard of stranger
danger. "Well, anyway, Prince Fabio, I will not marry you
on the grounds that I don't know you and you could be a
murderer for all I know. So I won't marry you. Good bye."
Now Prince Fabio did not take this well, and he stormed the
tower, opening the door with a key that he had found along
his travels. Once inside, he picked up a screaming Hermit
Praunzel and left. He tied her to his horse, trying not to
trip over her ridiculously long hair.
He married her when he got back to the castle, and she did
not appreciate this at all.
Now she was Princess Rapunzel, instead of Hermit Rapunzel,
and she much preferred the latter. As they lay together in
bed that night, she strangled him with her hair, since it
left no finger prints.
In the morning, she calmly announced that the Prince was
dead. His parents died from shock, since they were very old
anyway, and not a major important part of the story.
Rapunzel took over the kingdom, and lived happily ever
after as Queen Rapunzel, Hermit.
She kept to the tower room in her castle, took only
consorts and never married, and eventually gave her own
daughter to the witch woman to be trained in the art of
Hermit-Hood.
The kingdom's population took its fashion sense from its
Queen, and they all became Hermits. In the end, it turned
out to be a kind of utopia, and they all lived happily ever
after.
The End.