The Fellowship House
Fellowship House
Chapter 15
by Resisting Arrest
summary-the Fellowship decides to buy a (really big) house and live together,but they discover it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
a/n: no flames please,r/r.
disclaimer: I don't own the characters,or anything else that you recognise as J.R.R. Tolkien's.Don't sue me cause I'm making no money off this.
credits:thanks to God and the reviewers
----------
Fellowship House
Chapter 1
by Resisting Arrest
summary-the Fellowship decides to buy a (really big) house and live together,but they discover it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
a/n: no flames please,r/r.
disclaimer: I don't own the characters,or anything else that you recognise as J.R.R. Tolkien's.Don't sue me cause I'm making no money off this.
credits:thanks to God.
Celeborn looked around the filthy jail cell.Saruman was sitting on the lumpy cot with his head in his hands.In the cell across from theirs,Galadriel fumed silently.Pippin and Elrond moped in the one next to theirs,refusing to apologize to each other.
Celeborn sighed and looked at the policeman walking toward his cell.
"Hello." said Celeborn,in a high voice,looking over the cop.
"Um..Hi." said the young man.
"I couldn_t help noticing...you have quite a set of buns on you." said Celeborn,fluttering his eyelashes and giggling.
The cop_s face blushed scarlet."Thank you,Ma_am."
"Mind if I..try them on for size?" asked Celeborn,making a claw with his perfectly manicured hand.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Aragorn walked the aisles of the local Middle-Earth Mart.His eyes scanned the shelves,looking for something.
He sighed in frustration. "Where do they keep thoses cups?" he muttered to himself,annoyed.
He stood there pondering for a few more moments until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Aragorn!Imagine seeing you here!" said a female voice.
Aragorn spun around. "Eowyn."
He stared at her in disbelief.She wore a bright orange vest with a large badge that said "Middle-Earth Mart Employee of the Month".
"Can I help you find something?"
"Uh..um..er..," stammered Aragorn.Should he tell her what he was looking for?He debated quietly.Finally,the memory of the pain of the previous kneeing won over.Legolas has quite the sharp knee,it seems.
"I_m..um..looking for a..." muttered Aragorn.
"A what?" pressed Eowyn,clearly determined to win a second badge.
"A cup." muttered Aragorn incoherently.
"Pardon?"
"A CUP!!!" bellowed Aragorn,causing several old ladies to look quite scandalized and scuttle away.
"Oh.." said Eowyn,a look of shock on her face.
They stared at each other for an embarassed moment before anyone spoke.
"What size?" asked Eowyn,suddenly businesslike.
Aragorn privately thought that maybe getting knelt on was less painful than this. "Um...I_m not sure."
Eowyn stifled a laugh and said,quite seriously, "I_ll go get a tape measure."
Aragorn_s mouth fell open.Eowyn burst in loud giggles. "Would you like some condoms with that? Maybe some Vaseline?"
Aragorn flushed.
"Aisle 23,left hand side." said Eowyn,sniggering.
Aragorn strode off,trying to maintain a scrap of his dignity.It was futile.
"Pervert." remarked one old hobbit woman to another.
"Indeed." replied the other.
Aragorn found aisle 23 with little trouble.He selected a cup and walked up front to check out.
When it was his turn,he shoved the cup hastily into the clerk_s hands and looked at his feet.The clerk tried to scan it,but it wouldn_t work.He grabbed the microphone beside his cash register.
"We need a price check on a large cup." said the clerk over the intercom.
"Glass or Plastic?" asked an answering voice over the intercom.
"No,Ryan,not that sort of cup.I mean the protective cup.You know,the kind you put on your-"
At this point Aragorn decided it was less painful just to be kneed.He grabbed the microphone away from the clerk.The clerk looked at him and he ran out of the store,extremely embarassed.
"Pervert." said a familiar old voice behind him.
-------------
Endnotes: REVIEW PWEASE!! Heh.Hope you liked!
Fellowship House
Chapter 15
by Resisting Arrest
summary-the Fellowship decides to buy a (really big) house and live together,but they discover it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
a/n: no flames please,r/r.
disclaimer: I don't own the characters,or anything else that you recognise as J.R.R. Tolkien's.Don't sue me cause I'm making no money off this.
credits:thanks to God and the reviewers
----------
Fellowship House
Chapter 1
by Resisting Arrest
summary-the Fellowship decides to buy a (really big) house and live together,but they discover it isn't all it's cracked up to be.
a/n: no flames please,r/r.
disclaimer: I don't own the characters,or anything else that you recognise as J.R.R. Tolkien's.Don't sue me cause I'm making no money off this.
credits:thanks to God.
Celeborn looked around the filthy jail cell.Saruman was sitting on the lumpy cot with his head in his hands.In the cell across from theirs,Galadriel fumed silently.Pippin and Elrond moped in the one next to theirs,refusing to apologize to each other.
Celeborn sighed and looked at the policeman walking toward his cell.
"Hello." said Celeborn,in a high voice,looking over the cop.
"Um..Hi." said the young man.
"I couldn_t help noticing...you have quite a set of buns on you." said Celeborn,fluttering his eyelashes and giggling.
The cop_s face blushed scarlet."Thank you,Ma_am."
"Mind if I..try them on for size?" asked Celeborn,making a claw with his perfectly manicured hand.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Aragorn walked the aisles of the local Middle-Earth Mart.His eyes scanned the shelves,looking for something.
He sighed in frustration. "Where do they keep thoses cups?" he muttered to himself,annoyed.
He stood there pondering for a few more moments until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Aragorn!Imagine seeing you here!" said a female voice.
Aragorn spun around. "Eowyn."
He stared at her in disbelief.She wore a bright orange vest with a large badge that said "Middle-Earth Mart Employee of the Month".
"Can I help you find something?"
"Uh..um..er..," stammered Aragorn.Should he tell her what he was looking for?He debated quietly.Finally,the memory of the pain of the previous kneeing won over.Legolas has quite the sharp knee,it seems.
"I_m..um..looking for a..." muttered Aragorn.
"A what?" pressed Eowyn,clearly determined to win a second badge.
"A cup." muttered Aragorn incoherently.
"Pardon?"
"A CUP!!!" bellowed Aragorn,causing several old ladies to look quite scandalized and scuttle away.
"Oh.." said Eowyn,a look of shock on her face.
They stared at each other for an embarassed moment before anyone spoke.
"What size?" asked Eowyn,suddenly businesslike.
Aragorn privately thought that maybe getting knelt on was less painful than this. "Um...I_m not sure."
Eowyn stifled a laugh and said,quite seriously, "I_ll go get a tape measure."
Aragorn_s mouth fell open.Eowyn burst in loud giggles. "Would you like some condoms with that? Maybe some Vaseline?"
Aragorn flushed.
"Aisle 23,left hand side." said Eowyn,sniggering.
Aragorn strode off,trying to maintain a scrap of his dignity.It was futile.
"Pervert." remarked one old hobbit woman to another.
"Indeed." replied the other.
Aragorn found aisle 23 with little trouble.He selected a cup and walked up front to check out.
When it was his turn,he shoved the cup hastily into the clerk_s hands and looked at his feet.The clerk tried to scan it,but it wouldn_t work.He grabbed the microphone beside his cash register.
"We need a price check on a large cup." said the clerk over the intercom.
"Glass or Plastic?" asked an answering voice over the intercom.
"No,Ryan,not that sort of cup.I mean the protective cup.You know,the kind you put on your-"
At this point Aragorn decided it was less painful just to be kneed.He grabbed the microphone away from the clerk.The clerk looked at him and he ran out of the store,extremely embarassed.
"Pervert." said a familiar old voice behind him.
-------------
Endnotes: REVIEW PWEASE!! Heh.Hope you liked!