"Police Academy" Randomness, Continued
CAPT. HARRIS: *voice from another area out of the reader's view* Ow! What was the meaning of that?! *a couple more pained shouts, then.* OUCH! Proctor, what the hell-?! (Jess and Tac: O_O!...look at each other, then..O; when Proctor kicks Harris)
PROCTOR: Oh, God! Sir, I am so, so sorry! Here, let me help you!
CAPT. HARRIS: *stumbles onto the scene, doubled over from Proctor's kick in his crotch* No, Proctor! Stay away from me, you hear?! Stay-*sees the readers watching and tries to pull himself erect, then struggles to walk to the other side and out of view with Proctor hurrying after him*
PROCTOR: Are you sure you don't need help, sir?
CAPT. HARRIS: You've caused enough trouble! Get out of my sight, you idiot! Move it, move it, MOVE IT!!!! *Proctor runs back the way he came, not wanting to suffer Harris's wrath, while Jessica and Tackleberry are snickering the whole time*
JESSICA: Wow. These two need to seriously grow up, don't they? *hides her smile with a gloved hand*
TACKLEBERRY: *is trying to keep a smile from breaking out onto his face as well* 10-4, Jess. Read you loud and clear.
JESSICA: So, you were saying, Tac?
TACKLEBERRY: Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me. *turns back to the people out there* So, remember my orders and you just might live to see another day. Otherwise. *fires a few quick blasts from the bazookas* that might happen to you. *smiles* Have a nice day. *walks off with his weapons, then comes back without his firearms and gives Jess a quick hug* Now get on with what you were gonna say, Jess.
JESSICA: I would, if everyone would quit butting in. No offense to you, though. *Tackleberry heads off to the right again and she comes forward once more* Okay, I think I'll be able to finish now. Where was I.oh, yeah. We do have some thrilling adventures, but there are some pretty hilarious moments when we're on a case and taking down bad guys. Eventually, we good guys win, triumphing over crime and injustice. We are the heroes of the citizens of L.A., and we won't-*her uncle, Eric Lassard, commandant of the Metropolitan Police Department of Greater Los Angeles, steps in*
CMDT. LASSARD: Absolutely correct, my darling niece. The officers of the Metropolitan Police truly are the heroes of the people. They've taken in many a villainous criminal with speed, efficiency, courage, and unfailing sense of duty.
JESSICA: *in aside to the readers* Don't ya just love him? Excellent speaker, he is, and a wonderful man. Generous, just, and upright.yup, that's my Uncle Eric. That's why I love him so much.
CMDT. LASSARD: I've always been so proud of you, Jessica, because you're the only young lady in the family who's become a police officer. Not only that, you're the only one who is with an elite and prestigious force, the United States Mounted Police Corps.
JESSICA: Oh, yeah. Which reminds me, you may not know what the kind of uniform I'm wearing right now looks like. This uniform I'm wearing now is what I wear on patrol: black leather jacket with patches, form-fitting pants with stripes on the sides, shiny black knee-high boots, black leather gloves, and this cool helmet. It's full-face with a mirror-tinted visor, black with silver marks on it. Now, if you wanna see my Class A uniform. *snaps her fingers, spins once, and her dress uniform appears on her, she has her back turned to the readers with legs apart* Black jacket with silver buttons and standup collar, white belt with silver buckle, white gauntlets, white form-fitting pants with black stripes, black knee-high boots with wide silver bands around the top, a horseback police officer helmet, and. *twists her body around so she looks at the readers again, this time a smirk on her face* this awesome-looking cape, black with silver lining.
CMDT. LASSARD: You never cease to amaze me, Jessica.
JESSICA: Thank you, Uncle Eric, sir. I must say, people like the sharpness of our uniforms; it's been said we make the Marines jealous, because they think they have the best uniforms anywhere. So if any of you out there are in the service, you can eat your envious little hearts out. *proud smile, then she walks over to her uncle and whispers something in his ear*
CMDT. LASSARD: : You mean to tell me that Captain Harris has snuck up to my office again and is sitting behind my desk?! Why, I'll fix the weasel! *stalks off to find Harris as Jessica grins from ear to ear*
JESSICA: I love my uncle, but I just gotta finish up my intro to you out there. Besides, it was another opportunity to get Harris in some deep trouble.
CMDT. LASSARD: *voice is heard out of sight* HAAAAAAAAAARRIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : Get out of my office NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
JESSICA: D mwahahahahahahahaha.If anyone says anything, I don't know a thing about it. *smiles innocently* ^_^ Anyways, I was saying we are the heroes of the citizens of L.A., and we won't rest until all the criminals in the city are locked away. So, in closing I'd just like to say-*gets interrupted once more by a flurry of Metropolitan Police Department officers*
OFFICERS: *as they pass by* Hey, readers! *he bumps into another officer and spills burning-hot coffee on the other, and the clumsy one high-tails it out of there*...Drop and give me 80, you sorry excuses for readers! O.O; I mean, hi there.Hiiiiii! Welcome to the precinct, all you people reading! Nice to see you. Now you have a nice day, okay?...*once the dust settles, Jess stands alone again*
JESSICA: Welcome to my world! *smiles, not knowing what to do, and shrugs as if to say "that's life"*
CAPT. HARRIS: *voice from another area out of the reader's view* Ow! What was the meaning of that?! *a couple more pained shouts, then.* OUCH! Proctor, what the hell-?! (Jess and Tac: O_O!...look at each other, then..O; when Proctor kicks Harris)
PROCTOR: Oh, God! Sir, I am so, so sorry! Here, let me help you!
CAPT. HARRIS: *stumbles onto the scene, doubled over from Proctor's kick in his crotch* No, Proctor! Stay away from me, you hear?! Stay-*sees the readers watching and tries to pull himself erect, then struggles to walk to the other side and out of view with Proctor hurrying after him*
PROCTOR: Are you sure you don't need help, sir?
CAPT. HARRIS: You've caused enough trouble! Get out of my sight, you idiot! Move it, move it, MOVE IT!!!! *Proctor runs back the way he came, not wanting to suffer Harris's wrath, while Jessica and Tackleberry are snickering the whole time*
JESSICA: Wow. These two need to seriously grow up, don't they? *hides her smile with a gloved hand*
TACKLEBERRY: *is trying to keep a smile from breaking out onto his face as well* 10-4, Jess. Read you loud and clear.
JESSICA: So, you were saying, Tac?
TACKLEBERRY: Oh, yeah. Thanks for reminding me. *turns back to the people out there* So, remember my orders and you just might live to see another day. Otherwise. *fires a few quick blasts from the bazookas* that might happen to you. *smiles* Have a nice day. *walks off with his weapons, then comes back without his firearms and gives Jess a quick hug* Now get on with what you were gonna say, Jess.
JESSICA: I would, if everyone would quit butting in. No offense to you, though. *Tackleberry heads off to the right again and she comes forward once more* Okay, I think I'll be able to finish now. Where was I.oh, yeah. We do have some thrilling adventures, but there are some pretty hilarious moments when we're on a case and taking down bad guys. Eventually, we good guys win, triumphing over crime and injustice. We are the heroes of the citizens of L.A., and we won't-*her uncle, Eric Lassard, commandant of the Metropolitan Police Department of Greater Los Angeles, steps in*
CMDT. LASSARD: Absolutely correct, my darling niece. The officers of the Metropolitan Police truly are the heroes of the people. They've taken in many a villainous criminal with speed, efficiency, courage, and unfailing sense of duty.
JESSICA: *in aside to the readers* Don't ya just love him? Excellent speaker, he is, and a wonderful man. Generous, just, and upright.yup, that's my Uncle Eric. That's why I love him so much.
CMDT. LASSARD: I've always been so proud of you, Jessica, because you're the only young lady in the family who's become a police officer. Not only that, you're the only one who is with an elite and prestigious force, the United States Mounted Police Corps.
JESSICA: Oh, yeah. Which reminds me, you may not know what the kind of uniform I'm wearing right now looks like. This uniform I'm wearing now is what I wear on patrol: black leather jacket with patches, form-fitting pants with stripes on the sides, shiny black knee-high boots, black leather gloves, and this cool helmet. It's full-face with a mirror-tinted visor, black with silver marks on it. Now, if you wanna see my Class A uniform. *snaps her fingers, spins once, and her dress uniform appears on her, she has her back turned to the readers with legs apart* Black jacket with silver buttons and standup collar, white belt with silver buckle, white gauntlets, white form-fitting pants with black stripes, black knee-high boots with wide silver bands around the top, a horseback police officer helmet, and. *twists her body around so she looks at the readers again, this time a smirk on her face* this awesome-looking cape, black with silver lining.
CMDT. LASSARD: You never cease to amaze me, Jessica.
JESSICA: Thank you, Uncle Eric, sir. I must say, people like the sharpness of our uniforms; it's been said we make the Marines jealous, because they think they have the best uniforms anywhere. So if any of you out there are in the service, you can eat your envious little hearts out. *proud smile, then she walks over to her uncle and whispers something in his ear*
CMDT. LASSARD: : You mean to tell me that Captain Harris has snuck up to my office again and is sitting behind my desk?! Why, I'll fix the weasel! *stalks off to find Harris as Jessica grins from ear to ear*
JESSICA: I love my uncle, but I just gotta finish up my intro to you out there. Besides, it was another opportunity to get Harris in some deep trouble.
CMDT. LASSARD: *voice is heard out of sight* HAAAAAAAAAARRIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : Get out of my office NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
JESSICA: D mwahahahahahahahaha.If anyone says anything, I don't know a thing about it. *smiles innocently* ^_^ Anyways, I was saying we are the heroes of the citizens of L.A., and we won't rest until all the criminals in the city are locked away. So, in closing I'd just like to say-*gets interrupted once more by a flurry of Metropolitan Police Department officers*
OFFICERS: *as they pass by* Hey, readers! *he bumps into another officer and spills burning-hot coffee on the other, and the clumsy one high-tails it out of there*...Drop and give me 80, you sorry excuses for readers! O.O; I mean, hi there.Hiiiiii! Welcome to the precinct, all you people reading! Nice to see you. Now you have a nice day, okay?...*once the dust settles, Jess stands alone again*
JESSICA: Welcome to my world! *smiles, not knowing what to do, and shrugs as if to say "that's life"*