V) The King (3/3)
(Follows right from the end of part 2/3.)
Gon POV:
Yeong has seen right through him, as usual. But he has understood, of course; *why* Gon just has to set limits: because he cares. So, Yeong isn't upset. On the contrary: he looks touched; even if weary, after the very necessary but definitely loaded talk.
"You promised, Yeong-ah. You cannot ever go back on your word. I will not allow it."
And Yeong holds Gon's gaze through the dark once more, giving him his word one last time - right as honestly as always; right as honestly as he has already given to Gon all he ever had to give, and right from the start.
"I do not intend to, Pyeha."
And Gon can *hear* it; resonating as a cocooning echo around him, warm and soft as a blanket, even as Yeong's eyes disengage and Yeong rests his head back against the headboard:
Pyeha.
A blessing.
Because the word in Yeong's voice rings *true*. As always. Still. Even after the debacle; and even with the looming ordeals yet to come.
/
Yeong's first birthday present for Gon had been a drawing; magnificent in all its (im)perfect glory - special care obviously taken in the way five-year-old Yeong had for once definitely tried his best to neatly color inside the lines and all. Yeong's soul, laid out on paper - solid proof of its dreams; before Yeong had decided his time would be more efficiently spent by focusing strictly on reality.
(There is actually a shoebox full of Yeong's old presents somewhere in Gon's closet. Gon had always forbidden Yeong (and anyone, actually) to *buy* him anything. So, Yeong's old presents had been handmade. Nowadays, they are immaterial; but just as precious, even if they cannot be kept in a box: hours left blank on that day schedule, his favorite meals, and alike... But, to come back to that drawing:)
A castle on the left.
That's The Kingdom, Pyeha.
A huge flying green dragon attacking the castle from the right. In front of the castle, a (just as) tall (as the castle) figure dressed in full red and wearing a crown, firing arrows with a bow at the dragon.
And that's you, Pyeha. Protecting The Kingdom; always. And of course, you win. See, you've already shot two arrows at the dragon; and here is the third one already on its way. Will you teach me how to shoot with a bow when I'm old enough? It looks so cool.
In front of dragon-fighting Gon, a small figure in some sort of armor, holding up a sword.
And that's me, Pyeha. See, here is the sword you've given to me. I'm ready to protect you; in case the dragon comes closer. But he'll just fly away; understanding he won't pass you. Dragons are not dumb; they know you're always the hero in my stories.
And now; 25 years later? Nothing has changed, indeed.
Gon will always fight with all he has to protect The Kingdom; and Yeong will always fight with all he has to protect Gon.
Not because Yeong has to - neither because it is his task; nor because he thinks Gon cannot succeed on his own. But because Yeong wants to.
Yeong, who can look Gon square in the eye and profess that Gon has grown up well and doesn't need anyone's help now *and mean it*, yet still chooses anyway to stay at Gon's side in order to help him - always; just in case it might one day happen to be needed.
Yeong, who works in fact about two shifts a day; and every day. Coming in at 06.30, and going home somewhere between 21.00 and 22.00, even in the week-ends (even though starting a bit later, when possible), because there is then generally more time to train; and you bet Yeong has always been dedicated to his multiple trainings - fighting skills, shooting, endurance, even rowing...
Yeong, who only quits service to go to sleep in that apartment outside the Palace he had taken right after having been paid his first salary after having joined The Guard; informing Gon about it only after it had been arranged, in a few concise words that had left Gon no other say in the matter, even though Gon had right away understood why Yeong was moving out then - after they had got back from their military service; aka after Yeong had become a public figure simply by accompanying Gon there - and it hadn't taken long before The Kingdom had worked out that Yeong was that kid who had offered a cookie to their crying King, and that they had been inseparable from that moment on, apparently, as Yeong had never been enlisted in any school etc etc; aka after the rumors had started. They've never discussed this, of course, but Gon just knows it had been Yeong's way to ensure people would know Yeong *didn't* spend his adult nights at the Palace.
Yeong, who never takes holidays, not even one day off - not even whenever Gon takes some time on his own. Because if Yeong works at the Palace, then it implies that Gon is at the Palace too; and because if it ever was to leak that Gon was actually absent, then Yeong being seen at the Palace would make sure no one would think they might be absent *together*. And so Yeong protects Gon, still; even when physically unable to.
And Gon has just... let it happen. Because Gon does indeed value and relish on Yeong's company - always; and it is then so easy to be selfish - knowing it is anyway what Yeong wants. But it shouldn't have taken for Gon to be in Eun Seob's company to realize exactly how much Yeong had gradually become all about the work; since becoming Captain - and how tiring it might actually get; and how Gon hadn't seen Yeong truly relaxed or heard Yeong truly laugh for ages - except for when training shooting or rowing together, and Gon is really glad they've kept that routine, at least. But you bet Gon will have Yeong remember to relax and to laugh more often from now on. You bet Gon will have Yeong remember to live for more than his ever present sense of duty.
That being said, that sense of duty is without a doubt why it is always so *necessary*, to Gon, to always tell Yeong anything and everything - and especially the bad. Because Yeong's opinions always matter. Because Gon trusts Yeong to let him know what he truly thinks; even when he disagrees. (And to a King? That's not only valuable, to have someone daring to disagree; it's imperative.) But even more, because Gon always wants and needs to be on the receiving hand of Yeong's *validation*; to know that Yeong still deems Gon worthy of being that childhood hero - to hear that Yeong can still call Gon 'Pyeha' *and mean it*; from the bottom of his heart, from the core of his soul, in his right mind, and with every fiber in his body - like he always does. Because even though Yeong has a myriad of ways to call Gon 'Pyeha', and that their different meaning is always clear to Gon; they all just sound the same to Gon's ears and heart. No one ever says 'Pyeha' like Yeong does. And as long as that stays true; Gon can feel legitimate.
/
And Gon can't help but *watch* Yeong still, now - even after the memory has ebbed away; feeling even more transfixed and overwhelmed than earlier at the diner.
It had felt good then; being in Yeong's presence again after so long - no matter what.
It feels plainly excruciating, right now; eviscerating realization pulling at Gon's heartstrings, again - at the shivering panic that had brought Gon to lean against the tiled wall in the shower; at the sudden freezing cold watching Yeong's back in silence had generated; at the definite crack Gon feels right now, deep inside: this is a sight he could have so easily lost forever - in the blink of an eye; and without even being aware of it.
And it hurts.
Yeong *isn't* as undefeatable as Gon's unwavering faith had always simply wanted to believe him to be. Not that Yeong is any less spectacular than he *in truth* really is; but he is simply one human in the end - no immortal deity; a fact Gon had always unconsciously refused to acknowledge before, apparently. Gon had thought he had realized this already: after having caught Eun Seob in his arms. He had been so wrong, though - so unprepared, still; for the force of the terror he had experienced when Yeong had told him...
*Yeong* had been *shot at*. And *Gon hadn't even known*.
*Yeong* could have *died*. Alone. (Afraid?) (With regrets?) In a foreign universe. For Gon. *Because* of Gon. And *Gon wouldn't even have known*.
And that just feels...
There are no words, honestly.
It's dark enough for Yeong not to notice Gon's internal turmoil, thankfully; so Gon takes his glass and drinks some, shaking himself out of that all consuming horrifying ever growing *void*. He can't help though but inch closer to Yeong after having put his glass back down, and starts talking again; needing reassurance, needing proof - needing Yeong's voice to chase the lingering shadows away once more.
"Are you absolutely sure your shoulder is all right? I'd rather have you checked at The Royal Hospital right when we get back; but it would be impossible to explain unmatching recovering injuries."
Yeong's eyes find Gon's once more.
"My shoulder is just fine, Pyeha."
The smallest of smiles - indulging him:
"I'm due to the annual check-up over seven weeks anyway."
Then Yeong turns serious again:
"How badly was Eun Seob injured? He fully recovered, right?"
Gon gives a reassuring nod.
"Yes. A few torn muscles and ligaments; no surgery was needed."
Yeong exhales - tension getting released; and smiles softly to himself.
"Good."
And Gon just knows that Yeong will also need to see with his own eyes that Eun Seob is indeed all right. And there is something Gon just should tell then; before that reunion.
"He asked me. If he truly was my Unbreakable Sword too; now. And I said yes."
And Yeong this time very obviously agrees.
"Of course you said yes. He deserves that title, Pyeha; he's earned it. He *saved* your life. That's more than I can say."
Gon can't help but scoff in disagreement - honestly; again?
"Don't be dense, Yeong-ah."
You *do* save me. Each and every day. - Gon wants to say; but isn't ready for facing Yeong's arguments right now.
I'm just better with you at my side. And that's the truth. And it's only fair; to repay Yeong's endless devotion by trying to be actually worthy of it, right.
"I was simply stating a fact, Pyeha; not a wish."
That makes it slightly acceptable, then; and Gon gets back on track.
"He didn't do it only for me, you know."
"The only thing that matters to me is that he did it, Pyeha. I'm forever indebted to him."
"Well, that makes two of us then. And you should go to him tomorrow, while his siblings are at school. I'm planning to gift him with the most expensive car I can find in the Republic; so do entice him to get his license?"
Yeong smiles at him, conspiratorially.
"He already got one - I needed mobility. So I'll take him to practice somewhere. Not having any was mostly just another excuse to spend time with his Na Ri. I'm sure he'll come around really quickly, once I've pointed to him that she knows that he can drive by now - and that he can be the one driving her around, then."
Well, that's settled, then.
"Good. Is red is favorite color too?"
(Red is Yeong's favorite color; even though he wouldn't ever wear anything red, because it would be disrespectful for him to wear The King's Gonryongpo color - no matter how often Gon had used to remind him that red has never been reserved only for kings, and no matter how often Gon had used to gift him red clothes in their youth; but Yeong's mindset had always been unyielding once decided, even as a child. And honestly, it is somehow endearing; even if unfounded. It is somehow maddening too, though. Gon, for himself, likes pastel, natural tints the most; feels the most comfortable wearing light shades of white, cream, brown, gray, etc... But Yeong? Yeong is just made for striking full colors. He's just always so intense that intense colors indeed simply seem more adequate. So he would not only pull it off; he would look magnificent in red. Yeong though, on duty even when not on duty, keeps mostly to blacks and dark grays; sometimes dark blue. Gon is particularly partial about the dark blue. There is a reason every (3) tailored suit Gon has cajoled Yeong into accepting as birthday gifts since Yeong officially became his guard are dark blue.)
Yeong smiles fondly - he does love Eun Seob by now; their rivalrous start definitely long behind them.
"Actually, it's yellow."
Gon nods; smiling too at the difference, because it does make sense indeed.
"Yellow it will be, then."
"Thank you, Pyeha."
"It's the least I can do, really."
"I'm not talking about the car."
"Oh. Well. I'm still the one who's the most grateful; and to the both of you."
"Still. Thank you for taking care of... my older-twin-little brother?"
Gon smiles again. This is fitting too: in the way they are intrinsically the same; and in the way they both look up at each other by now, yet feel very protective of each other.
"I'm sure he'd want to wear that title too. And it's definitely how he sees you too - his older-twin-little brother. Which reminds me: Eun Seob told Tae Eul who told me that we have the Kingdom version of Na Ri working at the Palace?"
Yeong apparently hasn't expected the conversation to take that turn; but he isn't surprised at the news.
"Yes. She's the last addition to your PR team. I've spoken to her once or twice."
Gon works on suppressing a smile.
"Ah. I see. Well, you must have let quite an impression; because Eun Seob really wanted you to know that she came to visit 'you' at the hospital. And that she had been willing to give 'you' her phone number, apparently."
"Ah."
It's getting hard not to openly grin now, honestly. Yeong looks at the same time alarmed, annoyed, and resigned - and that's for sure a mix you do not get to see every day on Yeong's usually schooled face.
"Pyeha? Please tell me you're not planning to turn my love life into your new hobby?"
Gon can't refrain a chuckle; but quickly sobers up. He is in truth just as serious as Eun Seob about this, you bet.
"Now, Yeong-ah; you make it sound like it would be a terrible thing. I just want you to be happy. Being with Tae Eul... It's uplifting; exciting; and so much more... Is that so strange for me to want that for you too? After all, the two of you might be a true match too? "
"Pyeha-"
"Don't you see, how perfect it is? It's like the stars have aligned for you two or something. She's working at the Palace too! It cannot be a coincidence! You could just end up moving in; and our kids will grow up together and..."
Yeong looks... unconvinced, to say the least.
"What?"
"Don't you think you're going a bit too fast here, Pyeha?"
Gon sighs; he cannot just *order* two people to fall in love, indeed... But he *will* point a direction.
"Maybe; all right... But I'm positive you should give it a try. Trust me? Just... Wear your dark blue suit and ask her out. I assure you: she won't say no."
"Pyeha..."
"Do I have to pout?"
That does earn him a real smile.
"You can be worse than a dog with a bone."
"How disrespectful. But does that mean you will ask her out? Or do I have to invite her over for tea and have you joining us at the table?"
"Only if you want me to respectfully glare at you for a week."
"Come on, Yeong-ah. You'll never stay mad at me for that long."
"Try me."
"You're scary; I'll give you that. Not scary enough, though."
"Pyeha..."
"Hush. First things first, anyway. To begin with, you have to *agree* to take some time for yourself - and knowing you, that won't be an easy task. Luckily for you, I'm never backing off from a good challenge. So. I warn you, Yeong-ah. When this is all over? You make sure to fit some time *to have fun* in your schedule whenever possible, if you do not want me to end up ordering you *not* to accompany me to some event and actually lock you in with junior guards who might still fear my wrath more than yours to ensure you stay put. And to make sure you actually do have fun - and not simply pretend to while still working; because, yes, I do know you, indeed - said time off will be under my supervision; at least, until I'm convinced enough you actually realized why it's not only healthy but also effective and decide to do it for yourself and not simply to appease me. You must have noticed how I always have a boost of energy after having taken some time for myself, right?"
Yeong's gaze has gone from unbelieving to concerned - and so soft.
"Pyeha... Are you... worried about me? I'm just fine; I swear. You're making a thing out of nothing; really."
"Then prove it to me. I don't care what we do. You can simply call for Seok Ho Pil or Park In Yong to stand by as you sit on the floor and read some detective mystery instead of guarding me while I'm oh so dangerously busy with my chalkboards. I hope though you'll also squeeze in some time for us to go for a ride or a walk or a dive, or for watching something and talk about it, or - whatever. And if you're open to suggestions? Well, *someone* gave me just the most brilliant idea; so how would you feel about digging a secret tunnel, starting under my bathroom?"
Now, that does earn him a real chuckle.
"I walked into that one, haven't I."
"You sure did."
Gon turns serious though:
"By the way; talking about secret ways to get out - and in, then? You do know when and how I leave the Palace - always; right? I'm not delusional; I know you're just letting me slip out. But now that Lee Lim... You have to tell me. I'll show you if you don't."
"I always know, Pyeha. We searched for ways out *together*; remember? The whole Senior Team is aware of it; even though we keep it coded between us, indeed. There are always two of them surveilling your passage spot. As long as you're not trying to sneak in without your face being plainly visible - and I just don't see why you ever would - it's fine."
Gon nods; trusting Yeong's judgement. Then, curious:
"What's the code name?"
Yeong seems unsure, so Gon insists:
"Come on; I won't joke about it or anything. I told you; I do intend to be more precautious from now on."
"Strider." Yeong exhales, softly; then repeats, louder, offering a quick sure smile: "It's Strider."
Oh. That's... like another warm blanket softly settling around Gon's shoulders. But that's appropriate, indeed. Aragorn; when he doesn't want to be The King.
"Nice to know you haven't forgotten *everything*, Yeong-ah."
A soft grin, and twinkling eyes - radiating deep and long-felt happiness:
"I'm quite sure I haven't forgotten *anything*, Pyeha."
And that? That's definitely good.
Yeong tilts his head, asking; and goes through with it as Gon tilts his head back, waiting:
"But - if you mean it? There's a series I heard Ho Pil and In Yong talk about. Some D&D kids fighting monsters in the real world? Unless you'd rather watch Pokemon, of course."
It's now Gon's time to laugh; a few full seconds. It has definitely been too long since Yeong has been calling him out, about anything. But two could play that game, for sure.
"We'll definitely watch 'Stranger Things' together - it's been on my list for a while. 'Dark' too. But, just so you know? I'm sure I still have my Charizard deck somewhere - if you ever feel like getting even by taking out your Blastoise deck after I've beaten you at, well, anything?"
Yeong *giggles* - Captain's mask by now definitely torn off:
"You just let me win; didn't you. And I thought it was just luck you never drew that one Venusaur."
"Ah, well. You do have a competitive streak; we both do. But let's say seeing your sulking pout turn into a gleeful smile was more than worth keeping that card in my hand."
Yeong snorts.
"Who knows... If you ever were ready to actually play it now, I might be compelled to play again."
"Noted. Other ideas?"
Yeong smiles - conspiratorially:
"So many."
"Sounds interesting. Do tell."
"I shouldn't spoil it all..."
"Oohh. Competitive *and* teasing. Glad to see you're still in here, Yeong-ah."
More than glad, to be honest. Relieved. And - most of all: delighted.
"Also, I expect to see new Guard Party stickers on your computer soon."
Yeong is apparently surprised enough not to care about being teased about the photos - too bad.
"My computer? You could have just asked anything to Ho Pil; but I'm glad I had told Eun Seob how to unlock it then."
"Neat password, by the way."
"It should be; it was your idea."
And Gon is now surprised:
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't you remember?"
Gon obviously doesn't; so Yeong gives him yet another soft smile, before explaining:
"Oh. You *were* drunk, weren't you - even though you said you weren't. One of the first times you had me sneaking in some alcohol from the kitchens to your bedroom, because you had to train and know where your limit was, in order to never cross it; while I watched not only over you but also over Lady Noh not coming around the hallway? At some point, you said no one had a more fitting given name than me; that I truly was a zero - the number of absolute power, which could mercilessly nullify for example the trillion in my last name?"
What?
It makes sense, though. Gon had been indeed happy about how lyrical he had been able to be, right on the spot, when delivering that line to Tae Eul; but he had been surprised at his own skills. A good speech needed preparation and rehearsal, most of the time. Well, Gon had been internally rehearsing for over a decade, apparently - about Yeong? But well... It's *his name*, indeed. Nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
Yeong is unaware of the actual depth of Gon's surprise, and simply goes on - voice even softer, but eyes unwavering:
"I retorted that if I was that powerful a number, then you were Infinity; to which you replied that-"
Gon fills in, interrupting - just knowing what he would always say then; and hiding a blush under an easy coming huge grin:
"-Infinity is not a number but a symbol of a concept."
Yeong laughs, briefly:
"Indeed" - because of course that's the right line from his memory.
And Gon is granted just that bit more time to recover. Because there is something always so powerfully arresting in the way Yeong just always tells that sort of things: as some obvious fact, as some elementary truth - and nothing more. Nothing grand; no matter how massive the declaration. And definitely nothing to feel diminished or vulnerable about. Only Yeong can claim 'To me, you are Infinity' and make it simply *natural* - as natural as breathing. Yeong is never shy; and never ashamed. Proud; yet just sincere. Clear eyes; clear voice; clear intent. And that ever transparent honesty is always plain disarming; but in a very good way, you bet.
Yeong sobers up, and finishes:
"And you went on for long enough on the subject for me to believe you weren't drunk enough yet and let you open another bottle. That was the last one, though, before I cleaned it all up and put you to bed and brought the rest back to the kitchens."
"See? Yet another reason why you're The Unbreakable Sword. But you're just trying to change the subject; and I won't forget about the Royal Guard Party. You should organize this more than the usual once a year. I'll inform Lady Noh. And I might give a bonus to the first junior who'll get a picture of you in a funny hat."
Yeong smiles; that most precious, slow, one-sided smile.
"Please, Pyeha. I really think it's time for you to get some rest. You're getting *deranged* ideas."
And Gon has never been able to refuse that smile anything.
So Gon finishes his glass (not taking the pill), punches his pillow, and lays down on his side; facing Yeong instead of turning around (even though knowing he'll probably just shift on his other side once asleep). Turning away from Yeong right now is just an impossibility.
"Tomorrow, we say goodbye; and we go home."
"Understood, Pyeha."
Gon closes his eyes; inhales; exhales; then moves closer: until he's able to feel Yeong's solid - real; alive - form against his own arms and knees, even through the covers.
Yeong doesn't actually move - and yet it feels as if he's pushing back; his weight shifting reassuringly closer.
And Gon feels anchored enough to just let it all *out* - the fear; the concern; the truth:
"I'm glad you're all right, Yeong-ah."
"We'll make it through." Because of course Yeong heard his words, not only for what they were, but also for all the rest they inferred. "Sleep well, Pyeha. I'm right here."
Yeong's voice comes from above; not directed downwards at him. It's The Captain's voice; The Unbreakable Sword, fully back on duty - watching out for him, even more than watching (over) him.
And Gon does sleep.
Not right away; and not particularly well.
But he does.
/
Once Gon awakes, about 04.00; they cook and eat some - belated dinner or early breakfast, sort of.
Then Yeong checks the suite's door once more; and gets to his own bedroom to get some sleep.
Gon stays in the kitchen. He takes out his phone, and looks up where he'll find the right car for Eun Seob come morning.
.
AN:
They're sappy and oblivious idiots. And I love them. That's it. That's the chapter.
Oups? I'm having an emotion - multiple times; and this is my way of dealing with it, I guess. I've been shamelessly self indulging (I needed it after last chapter?), so you get not only the long promised stupid Pokemon babbling (by the way, Yeong's deck being Blastoise and Gon's deck being Charizard is just A FACT), but also me going teary-eyed emotional about a child drawing, and bringing in Gon's drunken not-confession and Yeong's never drunk confession-yet-not-confession (something I had first intended to come out in fact after the last reset, because Gon going internally 'I told you THAT - and 3 TIMES?' - felt particularly satisfying (I mean, 3 TIMES!); but heck, I needed it more right now apparently?
Anyway: *Of course* Gon would be THE INFINITY SYMBOL in Yeong's eyes and heart. MY HEART! MY SOUL! MY EVERYTHING! (Please come and get me back up spoon by spoon because I've just melted in a huge puddle all over the floor?)
But seriously? Can you imagine my reaction, as a non Corean speaking viewer, when hearing in episode 9 that Yeong actually means ZERO! And OH! OOHH! OOOHHH! instant reinterpretation of Gon's zero mathematical declaration of love to Tae Eul from episode 3? Because, I had totally melted at such BEAUTIFUL and MEANINGFUL (being the nerdy mathematician he is) words and had been astonished that Gon could have dropped all this PERFECTION right on the spot. And then OOOOHHHH - GUESS WHAT - it wasn't in fact thought right on the spot AT ALL - but sort of inspired by years of internally pondering about HIS OWN ZERO (even if without Gon even realizing it) WILL I EVER RECOVER FROM THIS PERFECT PARALLEL? (Spoiler from my future self: the obvious answer is NO.)
Also: I know I will NEVER stop SCREAMING too about Yeong's "You've grown up well; you don't need anyone's help now" (And yes, if you noticed, you're right, I changed that quote's place. It feels more fitting here; instead of just in passing in chapter one. I often try to improve bits here and there whenever I reread some old stories - writing is a never ending process, I'm just never done. Sorry?) But honestly... LOOK WHO IS TALKING! and HOW HE DELIVERS THAT LINE! and LOOK AT GON'S REACTION AT THAT LINE! - because he knows exactly who is talking indeed and he hears EVERYTHING those eyes mean beyond the words; and - again, PERFECT SCENE IS JUST PERFECT. I just can't with those two and all the PERFECT moments they gave us and !$%!%*$#^% %^%. I mean, Kim Eun Sook's writing is off the charts with that simple yet gutting line, but it would have fallen flat if not *felt* - and actors' choices are always meaningful and matter and oh my, we were just BLESSED with those two...
On a side note: I still haven't mentioned just how FANTASTIC the casting is - honestly. Lee Min Ho and (Kid! Lee Gon) both just exude charisma and aristocracy - yet sell Gon's nerdy AND dark side without a sweat. Woo Do Hwan and (kid! Yeong) both just scream Yeong's badassery AND proud HEART, even when they give off 'I am SO done' vibes. Kim Kyung Nam and (Kid! Sin Jae) both have that forever sad and haunted lost look in their eyes. I just want to squish them all close to my heart forever.
And finally - sneak preview: next chapter will be Eun Seob and Yeong, because let's be honest, there just weren't enough scenes with them interacting in the show. LOOK AT MY SONS. MY BEAUTIFUL, STRONG WILLED, ENDEARING SONS. (Actual kittens)
(And thanks for any feedback: it means the Manpasikjeok to me!)