The Digi Diaries

Group: Digimon Fan fiction

Title: The Digi Diaries

Rating: R

Category: Humour/Parody/Romance

Pairing: Taito/Yamachi

Inspired by: Cameron Tuttle and her brilliant sense of humour.

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, the works of Cameron Tuttle and various other bad girls, Windowlean, Pledge, FCUK, Ikea, Pringles or Hello Kitty.

Authors Notes: The stories are told in first person accounts and the chapter order will go:

                                     Mimi,   

                                     Sora,

                                     Matt,

                                     Kari,

                                     Tai.

I'll give brief Bio's for each character just so it's a little less confusing and so I don't get bombarded with questions.

    Mimi (The bored house sitter):

         Over from America; baby-sitting Tai, Matt and Sora's apartment.

    Sora (The high strung fashion designer):

         Organising a fashion shoot in Tokyo.

    Matt (The placid Rock Star):

         On a well-deserved break from touring with his band. Accompanying Tai in London.

    Kari (The cynical siren):

          At the beach with two blissed out surfer boys – TK and Davis.

    Tai (The Fcuking international footballer):

         Gearing up to play a huge soccer match in London. Matt is with him.

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                                     *Chapter One – Mimi – Morning Affirmations*

"Good golly, I'm a hot tamale!"

Or at least that's what I've been telling myself every morning for the past few weeks as I stand before the bathroom mirror.

"Bad hair? Love it! Stressed out? Intense! Bad skin? Fabulous, darling! Dark circles? Dramatic! Show yourself some love. Start with a modest daily affirmation to awaken your self-esteem."

Ha! Yeah, whe're the coffee beans?

Entering the kitchen that's become my refuge in this hovel of an apartment I fling Sora's book – The bad girls guide to getting what you want by Cameron Tuttle - on to the marble surface top.

"I declare I dig my hair!"

I just don't see this thing working out.

Did I say 'marble surface top'? What I meant was 'cheaply done DIY job to create a table top that looks absolutely nothing like marble whatsoever by Tai Kamiya.'

I slump down in a chair – one thankfully made by Ikea and not by Tai – and rest my elbows on his tabletop.

'His table'. Yup. Tai lives here. Sora too. But erm not together … well they live together but they're not together … in that way … if you get my meaning?

I should probably have mentioned that Matt lives here too. Tai asked him to move in a couple of months after they started seeing each other … officially. They'd been dating in secret for just under a year before they told anyone. Or … rather we figured it out.

And how does Sora fit in to all of this I hear you ponder? Well, it's not some weird love triangle or a three-some deal if that's what you were thinking. Hetai. Tai and Sora just happen to be best friends, and have been since … like forever. They moved in together immediately after they graduated. One, they made a pact when they were 13 that, one day, they would live together, and two, the apartment block was directly next door to their college.

But now out of college and spat back into the real world they all have quite demanding jobs and they're not always here. Matt's off promoting his band nearly 365 days of the year. Sora is always stuck at her studio in Tokyo, finishing her latest designs, and Tai is globetrotting as the hottest new striker of the soccer world.

Whatever happened to taking it easy?

'Pay the gang a visit.' I'd said to myself. 'They've not seen you in a while. What a nice surprise it'll be for them.'

Ha! Yeah, a surprise it was all right!

I arrived at their apartment finding suitcases lining the hallways, Sora was ushering the Taxi driver come packhorse out of the door as I went to knock. We kissed hello/goodbye what have you. She said she was sorry but she had to get to work and help stuff some bimbo of a models bra. She told me I'd find the guys inside.

So in I wandered, pausing for a moment to watch Tai flick Matt affectionately on the nose (because, well, apparently it was an affection flick.) Tai confirmed this as Matt went to wack him over the head. Matt had claimed it was an 'affectionate wack'.

"Hey guys! Been a while."

They looked really quite startled, believing they were uh… having some 'alone time' … ahem. Not the reaction I was looking for, but none the less I achieved surprise, shock and embarrassment. This I was very pleased with.

After a round of hugs and numerous 'so how have you been?'s they returned to the sofa and resumed what they were doing. Or rather Matt did, Tai struck up a conversation about himself. As he is notorious for doing so it would have been out of place for me to ask him what he had been up to.

Tai finally gave himself a headache from trying to explain the off side rule to me and lay his head on Matt's lap, shoving the phone book out of the way. Matt himself stopped what he was doing momentarily and entwined a lock of Tai's hair around his finger, obviously confusing it with the phone cord … well it is long enough; not as long as it was when he was a kid but still it was longer than Kari's.

"I give up!"

Matt threw the phone down; Tai shimmied out of the way and placed the handset back on the receiver.

Apparently they had two more days to find a house sitter. It wasn't necessary, but Sora kept insisting on having one every time none of them would be home. And they were going to be gone for 2 months each so I could see her point.

Well anyway cutting a short story even shorter. I was sitting on the coffee table, smiling away to myself when I saw that something had been said and I wasn't included. They were looking at me.

Both of them.

A glint in either eye one sapphire, one chocolate - starring right at me.

I swallowed … hard.

"Guys?"

They have spent way too much time together. Tai had taught Matt the wicked glint and then I saw that Matt had taught Tai that sad, abandoned puppy look. 'Uh oh'. That's when the bottom lips started to quiver.

"Mimi…"

They whined. The Bastards.

Well, I could hardly say 'sod off' could I? So here I am today. House sitting. Lucky Mimi.

Going to the fridge for some milk I find a little yellow postit from Matt. Yep, you can tell he's settling in quite well.

It read: -

"Mimi! 3Kisses3

Instructions for cleaning under our bed."

'Our' meaning his and Tai's … or so I assumed. There were 2 bedrooms and I was guessing Sora's was the 'Nuevo White, New York  Style Apartment' complete with wooden flooring. And why doesn't my New York apartment look like this? Pray tell?

"Instruction numbero Uno."

I read on, improving my Spanish as I did so.

"Find Pledge … or some other cleaning spray type thing. (You should be able to find it next to the Pringles … If Tai doesn't eat them after I've written this.)

Pringles… Pringles. Ah, yes. I saw them earlier in the microwave (which doesn't work I might add.) I have to force the door open as some idiot has wedged the door shut with a … credit card? Oo, Tai's credit card. Man, he's loaded! Erm … speaking of wedges I could do with a new pair. I pocket the card in my (Sora's) dressing gown… for safekeeping you understand.

"Pringles… oh check!"

I move them out of the way and search through the various usual and unusual kitchen products.

"Pledge… Pledge… No Pledge. What to do Matt? What to do?"

I go over his ingredients once again. 'other cleaning spray type thing'.

"Fair enough… Ah windowlean… this'll do."

I re-wedge with microwave door with a spatula that I just happened to have to hand. You know, as you do.

"Instruction number two."

Oh. Well, I guess being able to count up to one in a foreign language is somewhat of an achievement anyway.

"Nip next door, making sure Mister Kino is out and borrow Fluffkins – he's the long haired Kitty that pees up our mailbox."

I'm not sure I should be reading this. It might degrade my respect for Matt even further; I was still in shock at the extreme lack of colour in his wardrobe.

"Find a pet comb (Or Tai's hair brush will do.)"

This could get interesting.

"Instruction number three. Here's what'cha gotta do: - Spray Fluffkins with chosen cleaning product. The show off your bowling skills by flinging him under the bed. Leave him be for a good … Oooh say 15 minutes, maybe throw him a ball of wool (Or Sora's sweater) as the rapid movement helps wee Fluffkin pick up maximum dust bunnies.

And finally; Instruction number four: - Comb him thoroughly.

Thanks Mims!

3Kisses3 Matt."

Blink… Blink… Oh…

"Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty."

…What? Oh, come on, don't say you're not even in the slightest bit tempted.

I didn't to do it anyway … couldn't find the bugger. Humpf. Wouldn't mind seeing the state of the cat though. Wonder if it's fur has turned blue from excessive use of Windowlean. Wonder if it has any fur?

On further inspection of Tai and Matt's room I am led to believe that neither one of them has violated dear Fluffkins; judging by the amount of crap they have under their bed.

Cheesy wiz anyone?

                                                               *******

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