The Digi Diaries
Group: Digimon Fan fiction
Title: The Digi Diaries
Rating: R
Category: Humour/Parody/Romance
Pairing: Taito/Yamachi
Inspired by: Cameron Tuttle and her brilliant sense of humour.
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon, the works of Cameron Tuttle and various other bad girls, Windowlean, Pledge, FCUK, Ikea, Pringles, Mac Donald's Breakfast's, Jimmy Choo, Manolo Blahnik or Hello Kitty.
Authors Notes: The stories are told in first person accounts and the chapter order will go:
Mimi,
Sora,
Matt,
Kari,
Tai.
I'll give brief Bio's for each character just so it's a little less confusing and so I don't get bombarded with questions.
Mimi (The bored house sitter):
Over from America; baby-sitting Tai, Matt and Sora's apartment.
Sora (The high strung fashion designer):
Organising a fashion shoot in Tokyo.
Matt (The placid Rock Star):
On a well-deserved break from touring with his band. Accompanying Tai in London.
Kari (The cynical siren):
At the beach with two blissed out surfer boys – TK and Davis.
Tai (The Fcuking international footballer):
Gearing up to play a huge soccer match in London. Matt is with him.
Also please read and review! Please!
devylzangyl:- Thanks for the review! Someone has faith in me! I hope you like this chapter. Matt's up for a grilling next time ;)
*Chapter Two – Sora – Mules and Messages*
Mimi could be right; I think I work to hard.
Oh… drat.
Note to self: Do not flush toilet with foot when wearing mules.
Bugger. Drat. Bugger.
Yeah, that'll teach me not to take my Mac Donald's Breakie into the stall with me.
Clutching my papers to my chest. Oo they're looking rather perky this morning - Note to self: Wear revealing tops more often. Anyway, clutching me papers to my chest I hobble over to the hand dryer and hold down the button until mule is somewhat less squishy. Well… it's better than having to attach little inflatable rings to my toes.
Bugger.
I squelch my way to my office. Arriving I see that I have some un-played messages on my answering machine. It's blinking away at me, like some happy blinking thing.
It's a happy blink at least. Yay! I hate the other kind; squinting, bleeping, case of pink eye kinda blinks. Gives me the chillies
I fling my papers onto my desk and kick off the other mule and press play.
"You have two new messages. Message one. Message received eleven o three am: -' Soooooora'…"
Oh, no. Oh, god no. I lay my head in my hands. Why cruel word? Why do you hate me so?
"Yes Tai … please continue."
I wait through about two minutes of background music and ruffling paper before he begins again.
"'Here's a note to live by'…"
Erugh, I do have things to do ya know! Unlike some people … obviously! Tai, come on, get it out, you'll feel better. It's like trying to coax a donkey along with a carrot; a stunt that looks funny and clever but really only ever happens in cartoons. Why can't this be a cartoon and this would be happening to some other poor sod?
There go the papers being ruffled again; I think he's reading it from somewhere; this so called 'note to live by'. Why am I always his victim?
"'Ahem'."
Oh, hear we go.
"'Remember you're not just getting older, you're getting bitter. Lighten up!'"
Fecking charming!
"Beeep… 'Oh don't do' … Beeep … 'cut me off' … Beeeeeep …' Nuts'."
Why does he always argue with my machine? I violently hit delete. I know he's only looking out for my well-being … but does he have to be so bloody blunt about it?
"Message deleted."
Aw, I love her; that wee message lady. So polite
"Message two. Message received eleven o seventeen am. 'Hey' …"
It's Matt! Oh, I love his messages. I save them all. It's Matt, yeah!
"'Hey Sora, It's Matt.'"
I know.
"'I'm wearing black trousers and a red T-shirt that has a pic' of a kitty kat on it saying 'Hello Titty'…"
Hello Kitty must be branching out… Or falling out! Ha! Nice one Sora. High five, woo hoo go me!
"My hair is gelled back … and I have odd socks on'."
Clothes down, here comes the weather.
"'Sun … uh was shining, now clouded over; out look hazy'."
Haha! Sun is bloody scorching beautifully here.
"'English people like my shoes' …"
He trails off. I wait some more.
"'Here's Tai' …"
Oh nooo, leave me alone, please! I'll do anything.
"'Sora'..."
Why God? Why do you mock me?
"'Remember to make friends with people older and more wrinkled than you'."
Thank you for those pearls Tai. He snorts, laughing
"'Matt say's it shouldn't be too hard in your business'."
Woah, that was snort. Tai snorted! Tai snorts?! And Matt's finds that attractive! Why can't I find a guy like that? Heeey wait a sec did they just have a crack at my job … again! So what if no one over 28 works for me? Why, I should give them a piece of my …
"Beeeeeep"
Wankers.
Sometime later that afternoon, Ellie, my sheepish sex kitten for an assistant brings me in my coffee.
"Ta."
I thank her for her services, as usual. Hum… still here, did I forget something? A pay check maybe?
"Something else Ellie?"
"Um …"
She does that really annoyingly cute chewing on her hair thing and comes further into my office. It's not the gates of hell ya' know!
"Yes?"
She checks the clipboard that's supporting her humongous tits. I stare down at my fried eggs, and to think I was actually proud of these this morning! Uh, did I really just say 'tits'? See, now that's what I get for living with a gay guy and a bisexual. 'Tits'. Fecking 'tits'. Oh yeah Ellie's still here.
"The twelve O' clock meeting is being held back until one O' clock and Samantha …"
Samantha - my clotheshorse.
"won't be able to make rehearsals."
I take a sip of my coffee.
"Bitch."
Ellie frowns at my foul language (you try living with a rock star and an international soccer player and you see the profanities you come out with), but continues to clutter up my office with her being there.
Oh, why is she still here? Go away, and leave me to mop up my Jimmy Choos' why don't you, don't be the good little assistant I neglect to pay you for.
"Ahem … Sora?"
I look up at her from underneath my lashes, giving her my best gansta 'don't mess with me biatch' look.
"Yes?"
"Tai … "
"Fuck Tai."
She glares. Oo you go girl. Maybe I should have her transferred to the security department. I wouldn't rob me if I had someone like her on the doors.
"Anyway. Tai left a message for you."
Why is she blushing?
"I was wondering if you got it yet?"
I hate him. My so-called best friend. He's like the Mac-Daddy around here. He's also the reason half of the girls (and guys for that matter) work for me. So I guess I can't complain there.
"He's Bi Ellie, get over it."
I mutter under my breath, remembering in due time that the press would have a field day if they found out the worlds second most famous soccer player was half gay. Uh, David Beckham being the world's first most famous soccer player of course.
"Sorry?"
"I said 'Yes, I got it … thanks."
I smile, god I'm bored. I wanna poke clothe-pins in Samantha.
"Oh… ok."
She turns and leaves, leaving my door open! Gosh, woman, were you born in a barn? Tai came in to model for me once, my company struck up a deal with Tai's soccer team. He modelled my new line of men's underwear. Matt keeps the catalogue stored under the lid of the toilet for some perverted reason.
"Gah!"
I almost fall off my chair as I sip hot coffee all over my paper work.
"Sora? You ok?"
Ellie came running back in. Oh, God bless her. She does want to get paid.
"Uh … yeah, I'm fine … Thanks El'."
"Ok, good."
She turned to leave. Oh, Tai. How'd you get there?
"Hey, Ellie?"
"Yes, Sora?"
I turn my coffee beaker around to face her.
"Did you … err notice that Tai's face was on this cup, by any chance at all?"
As if she didn't. But would you look at that. Tai right there on my coffee mug. Ok, Not thirsty anymore. Hum, Tai's more of a publicity whore than I first realised. Oo wonder if Matt knows?
."Sure did."
"Oh … Ok. That'll be all."
"Kay."
She sighs longingly. My fingers head for my gullet. Stupid Tai - turning my office girls into mush, a big mussy mess.
Mind the Manolos' ladies!
*******
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