OVA 4
~My Kouhai Was Not As I Expected~
Out of the blue, I got a call from my illustrious senpai Yukinoshita Haruno who held the reins as Student Council President though she was never elected. After Haru-san inquired about how I was doing, she immediately got to the reason she was calling. She asked if I could look into someone for her, a Hikisomething-kun, who was a current student at Sobu.
I must admit I felt more than a little bit of trepidation about what she was asking of me. Not because I thought that Haru-san would involve me with someone dangerous or anything.
*(Though a certain former Staff Sergeant would disagree with that.)*
It was just more often than not, the person who Haru-san shows a special interest in…, W-well… Well, I'm sure that an incident like what happened to the former real Student Council President will not repeat itself. Especially since Haru-san is now a university student, I just sure grew into an even more wonderful person.
*(Like Hell! A certain ghost and former Staff Sergeant would complain.)*
With that being the case, I was more than happy to take on Haru-san's request. It was the least I could do for her, for all the kindness and encouragement she showed me during my first year.
Hikisomething-kun huh? Ah Hikigaya-kun, Haru-san just sent me a text as she knows how bad I am with names.
Um, to help me remember, it looks like she gave me his nickname as well…
S-Sergeant Psycho-kun?
That name sounds familiar… I went onto Sobu's social media and found that he was F-2's infamous military otaku.
So Hikigaya-kun was in class F-2…
Wait, the Plain Roll Crisis! Wasn't Sergeant Psycho-kun in the middle of that? Thank goodness Hiratsuka sensei was there, or the Student Council would have made a big mistake!
I can't help but imagine that Haru-san is laughing for some reason…
The next day I found his picture in our records for the Student Council. So I tried to find Hikisometh-… I mean Hikigaya-kun during lunch, but he wasn't in his classroom. With a mean nickname like Sergeant Psycho-kun, it was very likely this Kouhai was a loner, so he could be anywhere in the school right now.
After having my lunch in the Student Council room, I went to the faculty office to ask his homeroom teacher Hiratsuka sensei if she knew where he could be found after school. She told me that he was in something called the Service Club I think, anyway it was on the fourth floor of the special building.
…
THIS WAS THE FOURTH FLOOR OF THE SPECIAL BUILDING AND HE…, HE!
I collapsed onto the floor just inside the room with a few stickers on the doorplate. I saw him on the balcony that the students weren't supposed to access, but before I could warn him about that, h-he…, he just went over the rail…
"Oi! Oi! Look at the special building!"
"Senpai~! That's the fourth floor you knooooow~!"
Huh? Instead of the screams I was expecting from the courtyard, I heard something entirely different.
"Whoa! Sergeant Psycho-kun is at it again?!"
Unsteadily, I got to my feet and walked to the open window. Looking out to the courtyard below I saw Hikigaya-kun making a dead run for the main school building.
Oh, thank god… I just noticed the rope attached to the rail. That really scared me… It seems that he only rappelled down the building…
WAIT! A STUDENT JUST RAPPELLLD DOWN THE SPECIAL BUILDING! THAT'S INSANE! WHY WOULD HE DO SUCH A THING?!
Panicking I ran out of the clubroom, and nearly tripped over a school bag in my haste. He must have forgotten it, so I quickly picked it up as I left the clubroom.
When I reached the courtyard saw that Hikigaya-kun was being held in a headlock by Hiratsuka sensei.
He was s-smiling for some reason… D-did he like that? Um, it looked quite painful, to be honest.
Ah, he seemed to realize this himself as he started tapping Hiratsuka sensei's arm. Then he said something I couldn't make out.
"Safe WHAT?!"
Woah, what he said was super effective, because Hiratsuka sensei immediately let go of him.
"N-never say that AGAIN you idiot!"
What he said must have been very inappropriate…
I've never seen Hiratsuka sensei look so embarrassed… D-did he just casually sexually harass his teacher?
I began to have mixed feelings about actually speaking to him…
"We're going to the faculty office!"
I stood there in a daze as he was literally dragged away. He only looked mildly annoyed by this. Not at all like a student who was faced with possible suspension…
Oh shoot, I forgot to hand him his bag. Well, right now certainly wasn't the best time it and I had to hurry to the Student Council office.
…
The Vice President and Secretary just stared at me blankly when I informed them about today's incident.
Satou-san said he would check if one of our students uploaded a video to social media. While Tachibana-chan just held her head in her hands. I really couldn't blame her for that as we were the only ones active in the Student Council at the moment, with midterms looming ahead.
Suddenly the door slammed open. I looked over expecting to see Hiratsuka sensei, but it was the Vice Principal instead.
In a panic, he yelled that we bring anything we had about the Service Club performing fire safety drills to his desk.
Tachibana-chan went pale and started to shake when the Service Club was brought up…
Without closing the door the Vice Principal left, needless to say, he was livid.
Satou-san's face was pale when he said he found a viral video of this incident on the internet.
T-this was bad…
I told Tachibana-chan to send out a statement warning the students not to talk to anyone from the media should they show up.
Satou-san said that he would round up any Disciplinary Committee members he could find and text their Chairman as well, before heading to the school entrance gate.
I walked over to where the club files were kept and pulled the one for the Service Club.
The first thing I noticed about the file was that it was a lot thicker than the rest, which was odd.
Opening the file, I saw that Yukinoshita-san was the club President. Um, this must have been the key reason Haru-san was so interested in Hikigaya-kun. He was in the same club as her little sister after all. Plus he was the club's Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Health…, and S-Safety Officer?
Wait! Club Mascot?!
I blinked and looked back at the page again. Yeah, right there in Japanese under General Club Member Yuigahama Yui it said: Mascot Totsuka Saika…
Shaking my head, I started going through the file. W-what is this? T-this was supposed to be paperwork for a normal high school club right…? W-why does this look like something from the government?
My eyes started to spin as I shifted through the dry bureaucratic papers in front of me.
"You're probably looking for Form SC-48 Meguri-san…" Tachibana-chan was staring off into the distance. Her eyes behind her glasses had no life in them when she said that…
I made a special note to treat Tachibana-chan at a café for doing a great job as Secretary. Reading everything in this file must have been truly soul-crushing…
What made it worse was the fact that this evil file was in order to a terrifying degree! Poor Tachibana-chan couldn't even complain about it from what I've already seen!
I felt a cold chill run down my spine as I came to realize something…
T-this file was about as malicious as one of Haru-san's 'pranks'!
Looking at the top right corner I flipped through several pages until I found the document Tachibana-chan told me about. I began to feel a little anxious when I saw my signature at the bottom of the page. When did I…?
Ah!
'Shiromeguri senpai can you sign this club form for me? Thanks, senpai, I'll be sure to run a copy by the Student Council Secretary.'
I only remembered that interaction because of how he appeared out of nowhere like a ghost or something in the middle of the hallway. That really scared the crap out of me.
Um, I'm not going to get in trouble for this am I…?
Grabbing the document and Hikigaya-kun's bag, I made my way to the faculty office.
Once inside I placed the document on the Vice Principal's desk. I looked around for Hikigaya-kun, but he and Hiratsuka sensei weren't in there. Just as I was about to hand his bag over to Tsurumi sensei who was honestly the nicest person I ever met, the door to the consultation office opened.
"I'll see you tomorrow Hiratsuka sensei, and I'm looking forward to our time together~."
As I was looking at Tsurumi sensei I saw her smile warmly at Hikigaya-kun…
"Just go home already you damn brat!"
"Affirmative~."
"I told you to STOP THAT!"
In front of me, Atsugi sensei rolled his eyes and muttered something about how they should just get married…, b-but that must have been my imagination right?
Shaking off the truly absurd notion of a high school student marrying a teacher, I walked up to Hikigaya-kun.
I froze when his sharp lifeless eyes locked onto me. There was a cold, hard, edge to his eyes that made them look scary. Hikigaya-kun(?) had a really intense atmosphere about him. The best I could describe it was like being stared at by a police officer, only much worse…
I felt the pressure like that of an authority figure as he approached me, which made me feel like I was just a child. It was so unnerving. Seriously, is he really a high school student? That has to be a lie right?
Just how am I supposed to even interact with someone like this Haru-san?!
He's really scary Haruno senpai!
As he got closer, I noticed that his eyes soften a bit and he gave off a gentle expression.
"Yo Shiromeguri senpai, do you need something?"
Ah, he was totally less scary now, and so I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"Um, y-your bag, y-you forgot your bag."
"Oh, thank you for bringing that to me senpai. I really appreciate it."
Still feeling nervous around him I simply nodded and handed him his bag and then…
Um…, okay, now he's patting my head…
W-why…?
It was just like I was being praised for doing a good deed by my uncle.
Though it felt nice, it was still embarrassing. I mean I'm his senpai…, r-right?
Suddenly Hikigaya-kun froze with his hand still on top of my head. I looked over his shoulder and saw that Hiratsuka sensei was glaring hard at him for some reason.
He slowly retracted his hand and started scratching the back of his neck as he turned to look at Hiratsuka sensei while arching an eyebrow.
Now, I'm as perceptive as Haru-san, so think this was wrong. What his eyes said to Hiratsuka sensei was: Do you want me to pet your head too? There's no way that could be right.
Atsugi sensei, who now stood next to Tsurumi sensei muttered, "Tsurumi-san look, they're talking with their eyes again…"
Both Hikigaya-kun and Hiratsuka sensei shot a glare at him.
"Fu-fu-fu~. And they're in sync too~, Atsugi-san~."
Hiratsuka sensei looked startled for a moment before coughing into her hand, and then she returned to her desk as if nothing happened.
After giving a quick polite bow to both Atsugi sensei and Tsurumi sensei, Hikigaya-kun exited the faculty office with a confident stride that was not at all like that of a high school student.
I stood there in a daze as I tried to sort through all my thoughts about this strange and troublesome Kouhai(?) Haru-san wanted me to look into. After everything I just witnessed about him, I became increasingly uncertain that Haru-san's interest in him was because he was close to her little sister…
"You need something Shiromeguri?"
"Oh, um, about Hikigaya-kun…"
"W-what about Hikigaya?"
"Um, did Hikigaya-kun get suspended Hiratsuka sensei?"
"No, he actually managed to talk his way out of that for the moment. Piff-…! This was a fire emergency escape drill apparently. I did give him detention for being an idiot though."
A fire emergency escape drill…?
I couldn't really believe that, Haru-san once told me that more often than not, the motivations for people's actions can be for the most simple of reasons. Like wanting to get from one location to another in the quickest way possible for example…
Not long after I left the faculty office a few reporters ended up showing up at Sobu, and the next two days became chaotic for the school.
To my surprise, Hikigaya-kun was like a different person from when I encountered him in the faculty office that day. Showing little to no expression he gave off this washed-out salaryman vibe.
I remembered that he was a military otaku, so in an attempt to make him feel more comfortable, I tried to give him an order.
I think I saw his lips twitch as he just stared at me blankly for a moment.
As I was starting to feel embarrassed, he patted me on the head. Then he grabbed Tachibana-chan by her collar she tried to sneak past us as if she was trying to escape the Student Council office for some reason…
He dragged Tachibana-chan to her desk and started giving her orders as he began to work on some documents while drinking a Max Coffee he pulled from his bag.
When Satou-san tried to intervene about Hikigaya-kun's behavior towards his senpai, Hikigaya-kun told him to-… w-well what he said really wasn't that nice. He then gave Satou-san some orders as well before returning to his work.
He just ordered two of his senpais around like it was nothing…
Your Excellency…?
He handed me a completed document to check. Taking the document, I gave him a warning about his use of language in the Student Council office. He apologized for that and said he wouldn't do it again.
…
Just what is happening?
Instead of gaining a temporary staff member for the Student Council, it was as if we gained a temporary faculty advisor. This idea was further reinforced when I saw him eating lunch with Atsugi sensei, Tsurumi sensei, and Hiratsuka sensei in the consultation office. He was talking to them like they were colleagues…
I can't help but feel that he was lying about his age. I mean he doesn't act like a second-year high school student at all!
Wait did he make Hiratsuka sensei's lunch? She normally would have a cup of ramen when eating, and they had matching lunches. Well, despite all of his oddities I did see that he was a good person and a hard worker.
I decided to treat him to a cup of coffee in the Student Council office as a good senpai. I noticed that he drinks Max Coffee so I made sure to add a lot of cream and sager to it.
Hikigaya-kun was so moved by this, that he looked like he was about to cry when I gave it to him.
It made me feel sad that no one seemed to show him any kindness for all his efforts.
For the week that Hiratsuka sensei made me responsible for him, I came to realize something that was honestly kind of terrifying about Hikigaya-kun. He was like Haruno senpai, in the worst possible way. Only rather than ignoring the rules as Haru-san would have, he seems to enjoy twisting them so he could do whatever he wanted.
He actually took over a Student Council meeting in which he stymied the Vice Principal over changes to the Student Handbook…
"You're almost an adult so please don't pout, your Excellency."
W-why does he keep calling me that?
Ah, he's patting my head again…
As his senpai I really should tell him to stop, only I feel a bit conflicted about it because of how nice it felt.
I texted Haru-san when I saw Yukinoshita-san ask him out on a date right outside the Student Council office.
That was quite shocking.
She replied that she want to meet with me immediately after I finished my duties for the Student Council.
I'm really looking forward to seeing her after such a long time, and I think we're going to have a lot to talk about.
Especially since my kouhai was not as I expected at all…
Author's Note:
I wanted to do a little more with Shiromeguri Meguri, thus the OVA.
So let me know what your thoughts are on it!
Also, this crime against Galactic Basic is on Wattpad.
So now you can totally destroy this dumpster fire using the comments system over there as well!