Chapter nine – Confusion
Hermione's POV
I just lay there still with my eyes wide open and staring. My ears strained to catch every word they said or any sound they made. I couldn't believe it, Ron loved me. I now understood why he was so annoyed about Seamus; I've been such an idiot. Why couldn't I have listened to him or been more patient and understanding? Then maybe we'd be happy. Wait, what did I mean by happy? Do I love Ron back? There have been feelings between us in the past but I never considered what it would be like to actually be with him, maybe I should start thinking.
I suddenly wondered why everything was so quiet. I just wished I could turn around and see them, but then they might guess that I've heard. Maybe I should tell them I heard. Don't be an idiot Hermione. Said a voice in the back on my head. They would be so angry that you listened to their private conversation.
"Are you going to tell her?" Harry suddenly said, making me jump. "No, I can't, Harry. I know she doesn't feel the same" Ron replied. "How do you know that?" Harry asked. Yeah! How does he know that? "I just do, who'd want to be with me anyway? Look at me! I'm nothing special, nothing brilliant. I can never give Hermione what she wants. I'm not good enough for her".
I felt tears forming in my eyes. I felt so many emotions. Pain, guilt, confusion, happiness… I guess I am happy Ron likes me; maybe I could even like him back. But then what about…
"Seamus. He can give her what she needs, he'd be a better boyfriend" Ron said. "Don't put yourself down Ron! Hermione would be lucky to be with you, you're ten times better than Seamus" Harry replied. Harry really does know how to cheer a person up.
"Thanks Harry. I better go to sleep now" Ron said. "Yeah me too, night" Harry replied. "Night" Ron said, rather gloomily. I heard Ron lay down on his bed. I wanted to stay up and ponder all these feelings I'm having but then I drifted off to sleep…
Harry's POV
I closed Ron and Hermione's bedroom door and crept into my own so I didn't wake up the others. I looked over at Seamus' bed and felt a slight surge of anger. I knew it wasn't his fault but he is the reason Ron and Hermione aren't together, like they should be.
I got dressed quickly and slid into my four poster, closing the curtains as I did so. I felt so much sympathy for Ron. There he is, in love with this girl who has no idea and he may never be with her. I know that feeling.
Ginny's POV
I woke up early this morning and got dressed quickly. I hoped that I would see Harry soon. I've been avoiding him lately but for a good reason. When Harry kissed me on the cheek, all my feelings for him came flooding back inside of me like a tidal wave. I never wanted it to happen and I want these feelings to stop.
Which is why I've been avoiding him. Because every time I see him, my heart feels heavy. I know that the kiss was a sign of friendship and nothing more and that hurt me inadequately. But now I think is the day to face him. I can't hide from him forever can I?
I walked down into the common room but only Ron and Hermione was there. I sighed disappointedly. But as I walked closer, I noticed that Ron looked troubled. "Ron, are you ok?" I asked gently. Ron looked up at me and I saw that he had tears in his eyes, which he quickly brushed away.
"Yeah, I'm fine" he choked out. Hermione was reading but she didn't seem to be very interested in her book. I knew Ron wasn't ok but I knew there was something wrong that he didn't want to tell me in front of Hermione. "Are you sure, Ron?" I whispered so Hermione couldn't hear.
Ron looked at me with a serious look on his face. He looked as thought he wanted to tell me but couldn't, so he merely said: "Ask Harry, he'll tell you".
Harry's POV
I sleepily slipped out of bed and got dressed. When I went downstairs into the common room I noticed that no one was there, except for Ginny. My heart leapt but then I realised she was avoiding me so I decided to just walk past quietly. I began to walk when I heard Ginny's voice.
"Harry, I need to talk to you". I turned around to face her and was amazed how beautiful she looked. Her shining hazel eyes gave a kind of mystery feeling and her long, red hair flowed over her shoulders with grace.
"What about?" I asked curiously. "Ron" she answered shortly. Oh no, what if she's noticed how upset he is at the moment? Would Ron want Ginny to know about how he feels? "What about him?" I asked cautiously.
"Well, I saw him earlier and he seemed very upset but he looked as though he wanted to tell me why but couldn't because Hermione was there. So he said to me to ask you and you'd tell me what was wrong with him" Ginny replied.
"It's a long story" I answered. "I'll listen" Ginny replied, sitting down in an armchair. I sat down also in one opposite her and took a deep breath and launched into the whole story. Ginny made a good audience. She gasped in the right places and didn't interrupt unless she needed to. Ginny looked quite surprised when I told her about Seamus and Hermione kissing and touching each other, I knew the feeling, I was quite shocked as well.
Once I had finished, I waited patiently for Ginny's reply. There was an awkward silence where me and Ginny were both staring absent mindedly at the floor. Finally, she spoke. "I can't believe this, poor Ron".
"I know" I replied, looking up. "I couldn't believe it either". "We were so stupid, Harry" Ginny said unexpectedly. "Why?" I asked. "We handcuffed them together without knowing why they were fighting so much. How could we do that to Ron?" Ginny said, tears visible on her cheeks.
Without thinking, I rushed forward and hugged Ginny gently, stroking her hair and soothing her softly. "Don't feel bad, Ginny. We didn't know, it was better for them to sort it out anyway instead of arguing over it. They were getting on weren't they?" I asked, letting go of her.
"Yeah, you're right" Ginny replied, wiping away her tears. She smiled at me warmly which melted my heart. Then her expression changed and she sprang out of her chair, feeling awkward. "I'm sorry, Harry. I have to go". Then she rushed out through the portrait hole without another word.
Ron's POV
Hermione and I walked down to breakfast in silence. She seemed just as troubled as I was but neither of us said a word. I felt hollow inside the pit of my stomach. I wished there was a way to tell her how I feel about her, but would she feel the same? No. She'd be disgusted.
Hermione's POV
There was an eerie silence between us. I wasn't sure what I could say to him. Thoughts were swirling in my mind, all telling me different things. You like Seamus, forget about Ron. But are you sure you like Seamus as much as you think you do? Do you love him? You know deep down you love Ron. Tell him.
I pushed these thoughts out of my mind and looked towards the floor while I walked. My footsteps made an echoing sound off the dusty walls of Hogwarts. I knew I was being an idiot; I couldn't love Ron and Seamus. But which one did I truly love? I just wasn't sure…
Ginny's POV
I knew I shouldn't have just walked out like that but I had no choice. Once again, I felt close to Harry and I felt as though I could lie in his arms all day. I feel warm, safe and protected whenever I'm with him. But I know I shouldn't feel this way, it was just a friendly hug to cheer me up.
He must think I'm a complete idiot now. Silly little Ginny, thought the hug might mean something on the spur of the moment and got too scared and ran away to hide. Maybe if I pretend nothing happened and just act normal around him, he might forget all about it. Yes, that seems like a good idea.
Harry's POV
I sat there alone in the common room, lost in thought. Why had Ginny ran away like that? Maybe I scared her away by hugging her, but I was just trying to comfort her. But truthfully, it was more than that. I wanted to be close to her, to hold her in my arms and feel for just one second that she was mine.
But that is never going to happen. She has no idea how I feel. I can't let this keep happening though. The moment we get close one of us runs, it has to stop. But how? I looked down and rested my head in my hands. There is only one thing I can do; I have to tell Ginny that I love her…
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A/N: Hiya! Sorry for the wait but there it is chapter nine! I'll be back at school soon so I might be a little bit slower updating but the next two chapters coming shouldn't take too long. Please review and I'll update quicker!