Yes, I know it's been simply forever since I've updated! I just got back from my SECOND camp! Trust me when I say that I desperately missed writing and I'm going crazy trying to scribble down my ideas. Oh! And for the record, I'm the biggest Romy fan alive, so no worries there! Anyway, without further ado, here is the second chapter!!! Oh! And I recommend that you listen to Whisper by Evanescence while reading this. Makes it better.
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Wolverine told her it had only been a few months since they had been abducted by the institute, but to Rogue it felt more like a thousand years. She didn't know how Logan could tell where each day began and ended, as they all had become little less than a blur for her. Each day was endless agony that blended into the next day and the next until her life stretched before her as an eternity of pain.
catch me as i fall
At first, she and Logan had shared a cell, but now the only times she saw him was when she had to be healed after being tortured to near death. She used to fall unconscious when the pain got too bad, but they had found a way to stop that. Now there was no relief from her never ending nightmare.
say you're here and it's all over now
For a long time, she had tried to cling to Logan's consciousness. It wasn't so bad, at first. She could call on his spirit and almost feel his arms enfolding her in a bear like hug. Her captors must have figured out why she wasn't in as much agony as they would like, because it wasn't long before they brought in other people she could absorb.
Against her will she was learning to fight. They would find mutants or skilled assassins from who knows where and force her skin to touch theirs. Logan's voice was soon drowned out amid the clamor of angry destroyed souls.
speaking to the atmosphere
To keep her sanity, she had tried talking to herself when she was alone in her cell. There was no Logan anymore to answer her, but she thought maybe, if she tried hard enough, she could comfort herself on her own strength. If she looked deep enough, there had to be hope. But as she searched for that lost emotion amidst all the voices in her mind, she unwillingly came to the realization that there was only one voice she couldn't hear at all.
Her own.
no one's here and i fall into myself
She was drowning in her own mind. Vaguely, she could hear outside voices, hard voices, calling out to her. Insulting her, and threatening to do even worse to her if she wouldn't give in.
But she couldn't give in. She could no longer form a coherent thought but her soul refused to give in. As if watching from far away, she heard herself scream in agony as they ripped her fingernails off, one by one.
The tears that fell seemed to fall from someone else's lifeless gaze as she had her eyes gouged out with hot irons.
And through it all came the horrified certainty that it would never stop. No matter how bad they hurt her, Wolverine's mutation would deliver her fresh for the next day.
this truth drives me into madness
Instead of longing for Wolverine's touch and the comfort it brought, she began to dread it. Every touch, every contact, came with the knowledge that her miserable life was being prolonged. And Logan's voice had ceased to be a relief. His mind had become over run with hopelessness that only added to her own despair.
Her life had ceased to be an ongoing ordeal, instead dwindling to snapshots of what had been and what she endured. There were days when she no longer knew her own name.
And no matter how many times she made contact with Logan's flesh, nothing could cure the growing hole that was forming where she had once had a heart. Nothing seemed to matter anymore except the agony she endured. Nothing else was real.
i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away
She closed her eyes as each and every bone in her body began to break. She clamped her mouth shut, refusing to acknowledge the pain as she felt her eyelids rip off. She held her breath so as not to gasp when they sliced of her fingers and facial features. With each drop of blood came the knowledge that while her body would heal, nothing could ever erase the blood that stained her hair and flesh.
She was a living corpse.
As they dragged her near lifeless body to Wolverine's cell, she commanded what was left of her body not to flinch at the sight of his haunted gaze.
don't turn away
Calmly she stretched out her hand, knowing that if she didn't they would only force her to. She braced herself for the sudden rush of thoughts and emotions that came with her healing. The rage was almost uncontainable. He was all Wolverine now.
(don't give in to the pain)
They had ripped out his adamantium. She felt his pain as surely as if she had lived through it herself. They had put it back, of course, if he could be tamed he would need it to be successful. Both processes had very nearly driven out all his sanity.
It wasn't just Wolverine she began to feel. At her sudden mental weakness, all the souls she had ever consumed threatened to overwhelm her.
don't try to hide
She braced herself. That was all she could do. Unable to stop them, she weakly allowed her mind to be rampaged by the restless spirits knowing that none of them were strong enough to completely take over.
They hated her. All of them had gone on to live their lives, but the pieces of their souls that remained within her hated her with a fierce passion.
(though they're screaming your name)
She closed her eyes, unable to block the vile obscenities they screamed at her until she felt her own throat go hoarse.
Hours later in her own cell she finally managed to pull them under her control according to her will.
don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Shivering, she huddled in the corner against the wall, hugging her knees tightly. Eyes wide open, she waited out the night in haunted horrified anticipation for what would come the next day.
Her self hate denied her a peaceful sleep.
don't turn out the light
(never sleep never die)
Her fear denied her sleep at all.
i'm frightened by what i see
The next day they dragged her to the chair. A bed of sorts that came complete with straps that contained her no matter how strong the body she was forced to absorb. This was the place she was always taken when they forced new temporary abilities on her.
She began to chant her mantra inside her head, praying to some unknown deity that these new voices wouldn't overrule her own.
My name is Rogue.
They dragged out the first victim. A woman with blue skin, chained so tightly she must have put up a good fight.
I am fifteen years old.
The feeling of that scaly flesh against hers terrified her almost as much as the sudden rush of foreign thoughts. Dimly, she heard to voices scream. She assumed they belonged to both her and the blue woman.
My name is Rogue.
They dragged out the next mutant.
but somehow i know that there's much more to come
She couldn't explain it. But the smirks that covered the faces of the agents were different this time. It gave her a terrified sense of impending doom.
The next mutant was a girl, probably about the same age as her. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, and wasn't hand cuffed in anyway.
She came of her own free will.
That's what the smirks were about. That was the reason for the exchanged sneers.
This absorption would be complete.
Rogue prayed for her soul.
immobilized by my fear
She couldn't move. She wanted to thrash against her chains, she wanted to scream for all she was worth. But her body refused to follow her commands.
She was utterly helpless.
and soon to be blinded by tears
She could feel her tears welling up, but proudly refused to shed them. She had survived everything they'd thrown at her. If she gave up now, before the absorption even begun, than she had already lost the battle for her soul.
i can stop the pain if i will it all away
Deep down, she surmised that she knew this would happen all along. An agent with enough hate in them that they would sacrifice everything to control the body of a powerful assassin.
She held her breath, and tried to drown out the sound of approaching footsteps.
don't turn away
(don't give in to the pain)
Icy blue eyes met haunted green ones. A hand stretched towards her face without the slightest sign of trembling. Rogue refused to let herself pull back.
Contact.
Neither screamed out loud.
don't try to hide
(though they're screaming your name)
The blue woman's voice was quickly drowned out by the blonde's growing presence.
Ten seconds.
Rogue could almost see the blue eyed girl in her mind, the voice was so strong. And it was growing.
Twenty seconds.
The hand was still on her cheek. Both bodies seemed frozen in place. Both women refused to make a sound.
don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Eyes wide opened, they stared unseeing into each others gaze. The light began to fade from the newcomers eyes. Now Rogue could see her reason for sacrificing her soul. The agency had trained her well, making her believe that she was helping a noble cause. She only believed because if it was a lie she had nothing left to live for.
Her body began to sway.
don't turn out the light
(never sleep never die)
The woman named Carol Danvers collapsed at her feet, joining the body of the woman known only as Mystique.
fallen angels at my feet
Rogue stared at the fallen bodies, her gaze unseeing as she fought the battle for her soul.
whispered voices at my ear
I am Rogue. I am fifteen. I am Rogue Danvers. I am fifteen. I am Rogue Danvers, I am sixteen. I am Carol Rogue Danvers. I am sixteen. I am Carol Danvers. I am sixteen.
death before my eyes
She was dead. The whole and complete soul of Carol Danvers now inhabited the body of the girl known only as Rogue.
lying next to me i fear
She had never been so afraid. She had never been so close to losing the only thing she had ever thought she owned.
she beckons me shall i give in
The pain was fading from her memory as if it had been nothing but a bad nightmare. Danvers was offering her a life with no memory of pain. She could erase her fear.
upon my end shall i begin
She struggled to remember why it was so important the Rogue part of her live, but ever time her mind called upon images of Wolverine and their mutant saving they were interrupted by snapshots of her torture.
She couldn't bear it any longer.
forsaking all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end
I am Carol Danvers. I am sixteen.
don't turn away
(don't give in to the pain)
She was slipping. It wasn't worth fighting anymore. She didn't understand what she was fighting. Was she even still fighting?
don't try to hide
(though they're screaming your name)
The voices were drowning her like never before. They were consuming her, but so also, were they consuming the newcomer.
don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Her green eyes still open, neither Rogue nor Danvers looked out through them.
I am . . . I am . . .
I . . .
I . . .
don't turn out the light
(never sleep never die)
She was nothing. Whatever she had once been was replaced by a machine that wanted nothing other than vengeance regardless of the cost to herself.
She didn't know why she was so angry.
She didn't know whom she was so angry at.
She was putty in the agency's hands.
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All done! I hope u don't hate me for using a song! It just happens sometimes! I LOVE Evanescence and a LOT of her songs work for my fics. I finally gave into temptation with this one. If you hate me, let me know, but I'll love you even more if you don't hate me! Let me know what you think PLEASE! And I LOVE you for reading this! I'll update as soon as possible! I have five fics so it's a little hard.