Author: Regency

Title: Loving Piper, Losing Prue

Category: Leo/Piper, Angst, Cole/Phoebe

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers/Season: Prue's already died and Phoebe and Cole aren't together anymore.

Pairing: Look upward and onwards, who knows

Summary: Cole realizes something that he's known all along. He loves Piper and he

loved Prue.

Author's Notes: I know this is strange, but hey wonder why people are rarely after Piper.

He won't let them get her.

Disclaimer: no one here is mine.

I realized something recently. Well, not realized just now. I guess in a way I've

always known this.

I love Piper and I loved Prue more than anything in my past, present, or future.

More than Phoebe, even. And I don't even like Paige.

I don't know why I ended up with Phoebe. Wait. Yes, I do. It was because I never

had a chance with Prue as her life revolved around her sisters and magic. Anyone she

dated anything she did directly affected her sisters and by extension the power of three.

And Piper has always loved Leo. I couldn't get in between that. I know they'd never let

me.

I never really understood what made me love them both. All I knew was whatever

they had, Phoebe lacked in a big way. That doesn't mean I didn't love her, because I did,

but I believe my love for her has always been in direct correlation to the fact that ending a

relationship with her would take me out of Piper and Prue's life and I couldn't handle

that, especially after Prue died. My desire to be near Piper was stronger than ever, and

that's why I kept trying to win Phoebe back. It's callous, even inconsiderate of her

feelings, but when it comes to Piper, all I think about is my need to be around her.

My need to be around her rises from protectiveness. After losing Prue, a part of

me, the real me, died. And after having watched Piper almost die so many times, it's

gotten to me. Don't you ever notice how most demons leave Piper alone? It's because

they know better. I made sure that the demon that killed Prue paid and anyone who hurts

Piper will pay a higher price.

There is something I do think about in terms of loving Piper and Prue. Piper. I

think about how, beyond the obligatory worries, she's always pretty easily accepted me,

even in the end. Prue was suspicious, but I always felt that she wished things had been

different for her baby sister. I think she knew the real reason why I was with Phoebe and

she thought she deserved better than being my door key and she was right. She wanted

her little sister to have someone who came over and was so intent on seeing Phoebe that

he practically ignores the other two. And, now I realize that's what I want for Phoebe too.

Phoebe's a great girl, but that all I've ever associated her with. A girl. When we met, she

was still pretty much a wild child. And really that's all well and good, but once you've

lived a few hundred years, you want someone with the maturity and mind of your age

range.

That's what I found in Prue first and Piper second. What I saw in Prue's eyes,

were the eyes of a twice-sinned angel, stuck on Earth again for her deeds, until her time

came around again. And again it came. She saved Piper and to this day and I still don't

know how I feel about that. It was either Prue or Piper. Prue chose herself. What I saw in

Piper after that was a long lived advisor, who just needed a break. That's all she longed

for…Was a break.

Sometimes when I would spend the night there, back when I was still welcomed

that is, I would see or hear her somewhere in the house, sobbing. Or shaking as reality

would have it. That's crying without the aid of tears. And from my own personal

experiences, I can say it's a painful and emotional action it hurt most that I couldn't make

it go away for her. She wanted to stop being charmed, she wanted a true life, and she

wanted to have babies whose biggest threat was birth defects. She wanted things that

were never meant for her and she couldn't have them. So she cried. Even Leo didn't

know. I think Prue knew though. But I think she cried too. I know she cried too.

I watched them both cry all the time and they knew I was there, but they never

said a word. They trusted me to keep their tears sacred. And even to this day, I have.

I loved Piper, I lost Prue, and I married Phoebe. Though different, and though

strange. In the end…I loved them all. Those sisters 3. I loved them all. Endlessly.