Notes: Thank you Rose for your suggestions, they've been really useful to
me. I was a little lost for a while but I think I've pretty much got it all
figured out till the end. I intend to stick to the show, no changes.
There's still some room for future suggestions though, it's not like it's
all written yet! Don't forget to review. Love ya BO
Chapter VIII: Letting Go
Zack's POV
She's still asleep. I'm up making breakfast in the kitchen. It's incredible I hardly even recognize myself. I've got this smile on my face ever since I got up. I can't seem to get rid of it; I'm not trying really hard anyway. I was up most of the night just watching her sleep. I must've fallen asleep sometime and when I woke up, she was all curled up against me, her head resting on my chest.
I don't know how I'm going to tell her that I've failed again, that I let Manticore take back Tinga. There are also plenty of things we have to figure out. Like for example, who the hell's Renfro? I knew we had a new enemy when Lydecker told Max he wasn't responsible for Tinga's capture, though I didn't really believe him back then. I know I'll need to go back to Seattle anytime soon because I need to see Deck and get Tinga back but I really don't wanna think about it now.
Noah's POV
I don't wanna get up. I don't wanna open my eyes. What if it was all just a dream?
A pleasant smell is coming from the kitchen, slightly tickling my nostrils. It's coffee. Well, it means one thing for sure. It wasn't just a dream, well at least, I didn't spend last night alone, now to know whether or not I was with Zack. There's only one way to find out.
I get up and grab the first thing that comes up, in this case a black long sleeve T-shirt. I loudly inspire, hoping to make Zack's smell come off his shirt and onto my skin. The shirt's too big for me; it stops at little above my knees. Never noticed Zack was so tall! Oh my god, what if it wasn't him, what if I completely imagined the whole thing!
I pass in front of the mirror, pass my hand through my curls trying to put them back into place, as if they ever had one! Oh well, nothing I can do about it. 'Curls are sexy' Ginna used to say. Well, if Ginna said that than it's true. Ginna.
I look at the golden ring around my finger. 'It's good luck' she also used to say. Yeah, well I escaped both from Manticore and the Mafia, so I guess it really is good luck. Plus I've just spent an incredible night with the guy of my dreams. Can I really ask for anymore good luck by begging that he doesn't just disappear as soon as I step in the kitchen?
I'm so jittery because that's just the way Zack is. He's always disappearing and then popping back up when you least expect him to. I just wanna stop running for a while and well, I hope he's gonna stop, stick around and wait for me this time.
I step into the kitchen. I can see his naked golden muscled shoulders behind the counter. He's looking down, slightly leaning over something. He's cocking something, I'm not really paying attention: I just can't take my eyes off him. His blonde hair falling in his face. He's only wearing a pair of gray boxers. Oh my god, now this is too much. No straight girl can ever resist THAT.
I tiptoe closer and let my hands do whatever they feel like doing. They choose to go round his waist and then up his shoulders. He startles when I first touch him. Think he didn't hear me come in. I'm probably the best cat burglar in the world!
I gently pull him closer and whisper to his ear:
"Hey, you"
While I'm nibbling his ear lobe, he whispers to my ear:
"Hey, yourself"
But then he pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes and says:
"We gotta talk"
'Alert! Alert! Major Alert!' My inner defense system's just switched on. These are three words a girl never wants to hear, she usually prefers saying them.
So up until those three words, I was picturing us in this romantic atmosphere, candles and music were the only things missing. Yeah, some slow, smooth and warm kinda music, like jazz or maybe soul. Well, now the records come to a screeching halt, see what I'm saying? And all I can hear is this little voice in my head screaming 'Alert! Alert! Run! Run!' It's just like when I was stuck in the graveyard back in Phoenix and Manticore was closing in on me.
But I can't run now! So, I fake a smile and step back, and sit behind the counter, putting distance between us. He's standing in front of me and I can feel his eyes on me but I can't look at him right now. I think I would've preferred him disappearing this morning than. THIS! It's so embarrassing but I know that sadness and despair are soon going to be stronger than shame and I'm really not looking forward to this either!
"I knew this was gonna happen" I mumble trying to make this painful conversation shorter.
"Well, it was pretty obvious" he says.
Well, excuse me. It didn't seem THAT obvious to me! I still hoped that.
"Things didn't really turn out the way I had expected them to. There's been complications" he goes on.
What does he mean by 'complications'? Am I THE complication? Because 'complications' would really not be the word that I'd use to describe what happened last night between us. It seemed more like 'smooth sailing' to me.
"It wasn't suppose to be this way. I wasn't focusing enough. I got carried away because I wanted to see you so much and I." he starts explaining.
"Let me make it easier for you Zack" I say trying to hide the fact that I was seething, "When are you leaving again? Let me guess, today. Right you should leave. It was all a big mistake"
"I wish you wouldn't be that way. Don't you think I feel bad enough? I know it's all my fault," he says putting on his sad puppy face.
"Why don't you stop playing martyr for once?" I say raising my voice.
Now I'm really pissed. First, I'm a complication. Then, I'm not reacting the way I should. How could he be so insensitive? He really just doesn't give a damn about the way I feel!
"This. This isn't all your fault, OK? I'm just as responsible as you are. This is like dancing tango. Can't do it all by yourself" I say crossing my arms and turning around to avoid eye contact.
Maybe that wasn't the best example but it describes it pretty well, doesn't it?
"What?" he asks sounding puzzled.
Maybe it doesn't describe it that well after all. So, I roll my eyes and try to give further explanations:
"Use your imagination, will ya? Forget the tango metaphor, it was stupid I admit it. Why don't you just go back to Max right now? Why d'you ever leave Seattle anyway? I might be leaving today too, so let's just fugethaboudit, OK" I blurt out.
"Forget? How can we forget? Tinga's back in Manticore!"
"Tinga? What the hell.?" I start frowning and turn around, "Oh my god! How come? What happened?" I quickly add my mouth dropping open as I've finally realized the meaning of what he's just said.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you but you keep blabbing about tango and it all being your fault. What were you talking about?" he asks walking to me.
OK. I think this is even more embarrassing than it was a few seconds ago. This is way worse and it'll also be followed by sadness and despair. They've got Tinga.
"I was talking about last night, you and." my voice just breaks and leaves me unable of finishing my sentence.
I look up to him. He's stopped frowning and his expression has lightened up. He's finally understood what I was talking about. He slowly walks to me and puts his arms around my waist. Tears are forming in my eyes and I'm trying hard to hold them back.
"I left Seattle because I wanted to be with you Noah. I realized you were the most important person to me, not Max. I know for sure now. I love you Noah," he says almost in a whisper.
I close my eyes, trying to hold back that turmoil going on inside of me: Tinga's gone, the guy I love loves me back. I'm lost somewhere between complete plenitude and complete despair. The tears that finally break through my closed eyes, are both tears of sadness and happiness.
Zack pulls me closer and clutches me harder.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about Tinga. I'll bring her back to you, I promise I will. I can't bear to see you lose anyone else because of me. I'm."
"Zack?" I interrupt him, looking up to him, my cheeks all wet, "I love you" I say before bursting into tears again.
Zack's POV
Noah and I haven't had a minute to ourselves in the past few days: driving and traveling, pretending, lying to get people to trust us, using everything we were trained to do to find out where Tinga was. I didn't feel it was safe for Noah to get out of the cabin so soon after almost being caught by Manticore and the Mafia but she's a stubborn one.
We've spent a lot of time in Washington State without ever staying in Seattle or dropping by to see Max. I've managed to get in contact with a guy inside Manticore. According to him, Tinga's not there. But we weren't going to give up so easily. So, we dug a little more, did a little tracking, scared a few geeks to find out that Manticore had set up a research facility inside a converted silo near the municipal border.
Yeah, I know, we actually make a pretty good team. We're not sure yet but I think we've managed to put a face on Elizabeth Renfro, if it's her real name. Noah was glad to be able to identify the bitch that had tracked her down and double-crossed the Italian Mafia. We spied a conversation between her and another agent. Lydecker even joined the club later on. Doesn't seem to like her much. The thing is: what the hell does the blonde bitch want with Tinga?
Noah and I are back in Utah, back in Zane's cabin. We're gonna rest for a couple of days before going to get Tinga back. It's not going to be easy though. I think another soldier won't be of too much, I'm talking about Max of course. She was involved in Tinga's capture; she'll want to be involved in her escape. Plus, I hate to admit it but we might need to help of roller boy.
"Ah! Home sweet home!" Noah yawns before throwing herself in the huge armchair.
I light the fireplace and join her. She sits on my laps, curls up in my arms and closes her eyes. Her head on my chest, I start playing with her curls, twirling them around my fingers as I fall into deep reflexion about how we're going to get Tinga out.
"Don't worry" Noah says looking up to me, "Tinga'll be out of there tomorrow" it's like she just reads my mind "And then we'll run as far away from Manticore as we can and then." she starts.
".we'll get a normal life" I finish, brushing the curls out of her face and kissing her.
"We really do make a great team, huh?" she asks smirking.
"Sure do" I grin, "And I don't think I'm the CO in this team"
It's true; nobody gives order to X5 396. She does whatever she feels like doing and it usually turns out pretty good. I'm far from being a master at improvisation. She does that part, I take care of elaborating a plan. That's how we complete each other.
"There's no CO in this team, Zack" she says, "We're not soldiers anymore, we're just. humans"
I guess she's right but I don't think I'll ever see myself as something else than as a soldier.
"I want you to stop thinking you're responsible of everything. Stop thinking of me as another one of your soldiers cos I wanna be so much more than that. I'm here for you, to help you, to share the heavy weight of that burden you've imposed yourself. I want you to feel you're not alone anymore" Noah tells me.
I just never thought that anybody else than me could ever assume the responsibility of the 09s. I don't know if I'm ready to share that task. I just want her to be happy and I wish she would just let me make her happy instead of trying to make me happy. She's already managed to. I've always felt empty and with nothing to loose. She's changed all this and it feels weird, good but weird.
"I'm just. worried" I stammer.
"Worried about what?" she asks.
"About you" I reply, "What if something happens tomorrow? What if something happens to you? I'll never forgive myself, I'll never."
"See" she interrupts me, "That's the way I feel each time you go away and leave me. You gotta trust me"
"I do" I say defensively.
She has this funny look on, like she doesn't really believe me and maybe she has reasons to be. I never thought any of my siblings was responsible enough to know where all the others were. Does it mean that I don't trust any of them? Maybe. But I trust Noah, I really do and she's right, she's so much more than a soldier to me.
"Syl and Krit live together. I never really approve but." I shrug, "They're in some little town in Montana called Missoula. Bobbie's Miami. Remember she's always hated cold places. Reese is in New York and Tom is in Chicago. You already know where Max, Jondy and Zane are" I blurt out.
She looks at me, her eyes wide opened. Guess she didn't expect any of this, well neither did I but I think it's time. I want her to feel I trust her.
"I trust fully trust you. I'd put my life in your hands and I've just put the life of all the others. It's Manticore we can't trust"
"The only way to make sure nothing happens to the other one is to always stay together" she smirks, "How does that sound?"
I remain silent for a few seconds, thinking the whole thing over. Makes sense.
"Sounds great to me" I say letting my hands wonder under her shirt and around her caramel waist.
"Really? Always stay together" she asks a delicious smile on her lips as she throws my shirt above my head.
"Always" I say kissing her.
Notes: OK so Noah and Zack seem to be making a pretty good team, huh? Maybe if they had stick to their initial plan of always staying together, they actually would've got the life they both dreamed of. Question: what happened? I said I didn't intend to change the story so I had to come with something to explain why Noah wasn't in 'Meow' with Zack and Max saving Tinga. I came up with something of course, but the question remains for you readers. D'you guys have any idea? Find out in the next chapter. In the meantime, review please. Love ya BO.
Chapter VIII: Letting Go
Zack's POV
She's still asleep. I'm up making breakfast in the kitchen. It's incredible I hardly even recognize myself. I've got this smile on my face ever since I got up. I can't seem to get rid of it; I'm not trying really hard anyway. I was up most of the night just watching her sleep. I must've fallen asleep sometime and when I woke up, she was all curled up against me, her head resting on my chest.
I don't know how I'm going to tell her that I've failed again, that I let Manticore take back Tinga. There are also plenty of things we have to figure out. Like for example, who the hell's Renfro? I knew we had a new enemy when Lydecker told Max he wasn't responsible for Tinga's capture, though I didn't really believe him back then. I know I'll need to go back to Seattle anytime soon because I need to see Deck and get Tinga back but I really don't wanna think about it now.
Noah's POV
I don't wanna get up. I don't wanna open my eyes. What if it was all just a dream?
A pleasant smell is coming from the kitchen, slightly tickling my nostrils. It's coffee. Well, it means one thing for sure. It wasn't just a dream, well at least, I didn't spend last night alone, now to know whether or not I was with Zack. There's only one way to find out.
I get up and grab the first thing that comes up, in this case a black long sleeve T-shirt. I loudly inspire, hoping to make Zack's smell come off his shirt and onto my skin. The shirt's too big for me; it stops at little above my knees. Never noticed Zack was so tall! Oh my god, what if it wasn't him, what if I completely imagined the whole thing!
I pass in front of the mirror, pass my hand through my curls trying to put them back into place, as if they ever had one! Oh well, nothing I can do about it. 'Curls are sexy' Ginna used to say. Well, if Ginna said that than it's true. Ginna.
I look at the golden ring around my finger. 'It's good luck' she also used to say. Yeah, well I escaped both from Manticore and the Mafia, so I guess it really is good luck. Plus I've just spent an incredible night with the guy of my dreams. Can I really ask for anymore good luck by begging that he doesn't just disappear as soon as I step in the kitchen?
I'm so jittery because that's just the way Zack is. He's always disappearing and then popping back up when you least expect him to. I just wanna stop running for a while and well, I hope he's gonna stop, stick around and wait for me this time.
I step into the kitchen. I can see his naked golden muscled shoulders behind the counter. He's looking down, slightly leaning over something. He's cocking something, I'm not really paying attention: I just can't take my eyes off him. His blonde hair falling in his face. He's only wearing a pair of gray boxers. Oh my god, now this is too much. No straight girl can ever resist THAT.
I tiptoe closer and let my hands do whatever they feel like doing. They choose to go round his waist and then up his shoulders. He startles when I first touch him. Think he didn't hear me come in. I'm probably the best cat burglar in the world!
I gently pull him closer and whisper to his ear:
"Hey, you"
While I'm nibbling his ear lobe, he whispers to my ear:
"Hey, yourself"
But then he pulls back and looks me straight in the eyes and says:
"We gotta talk"
'Alert! Alert! Major Alert!' My inner defense system's just switched on. These are three words a girl never wants to hear, she usually prefers saying them.
So up until those three words, I was picturing us in this romantic atmosphere, candles and music were the only things missing. Yeah, some slow, smooth and warm kinda music, like jazz or maybe soul. Well, now the records come to a screeching halt, see what I'm saying? And all I can hear is this little voice in my head screaming 'Alert! Alert! Run! Run!' It's just like when I was stuck in the graveyard back in Phoenix and Manticore was closing in on me.
But I can't run now! So, I fake a smile and step back, and sit behind the counter, putting distance between us. He's standing in front of me and I can feel his eyes on me but I can't look at him right now. I think I would've preferred him disappearing this morning than. THIS! It's so embarrassing but I know that sadness and despair are soon going to be stronger than shame and I'm really not looking forward to this either!
"I knew this was gonna happen" I mumble trying to make this painful conversation shorter.
"Well, it was pretty obvious" he says.
Well, excuse me. It didn't seem THAT obvious to me! I still hoped that.
"Things didn't really turn out the way I had expected them to. There's been complications" he goes on.
What does he mean by 'complications'? Am I THE complication? Because 'complications' would really not be the word that I'd use to describe what happened last night between us. It seemed more like 'smooth sailing' to me.
"It wasn't suppose to be this way. I wasn't focusing enough. I got carried away because I wanted to see you so much and I." he starts explaining.
"Let me make it easier for you Zack" I say trying to hide the fact that I was seething, "When are you leaving again? Let me guess, today. Right you should leave. It was all a big mistake"
"I wish you wouldn't be that way. Don't you think I feel bad enough? I know it's all my fault," he says putting on his sad puppy face.
"Why don't you stop playing martyr for once?" I say raising my voice.
Now I'm really pissed. First, I'm a complication. Then, I'm not reacting the way I should. How could he be so insensitive? He really just doesn't give a damn about the way I feel!
"This. This isn't all your fault, OK? I'm just as responsible as you are. This is like dancing tango. Can't do it all by yourself" I say crossing my arms and turning around to avoid eye contact.
Maybe that wasn't the best example but it describes it pretty well, doesn't it?
"What?" he asks sounding puzzled.
Maybe it doesn't describe it that well after all. So, I roll my eyes and try to give further explanations:
"Use your imagination, will ya? Forget the tango metaphor, it was stupid I admit it. Why don't you just go back to Max right now? Why d'you ever leave Seattle anyway? I might be leaving today too, so let's just fugethaboudit, OK" I blurt out.
"Forget? How can we forget? Tinga's back in Manticore!"
"Tinga? What the hell.?" I start frowning and turn around, "Oh my god! How come? What happened?" I quickly add my mouth dropping open as I've finally realized the meaning of what he's just said.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you but you keep blabbing about tango and it all being your fault. What were you talking about?" he asks walking to me.
OK. I think this is even more embarrassing than it was a few seconds ago. This is way worse and it'll also be followed by sadness and despair. They've got Tinga.
"I was talking about last night, you and." my voice just breaks and leaves me unable of finishing my sentence.
I look up to him. He's stopped frowning and his expression has lightened up. He's finally understood what I was talking about. He slowly walks to me and puts his arms around my waist. Tears are forming in my eyes and I'm trying hard to hold them back.
"I left Seattle because I wanted to be with you Noah. I realized you were the most important person to me, not Max. I know for sure now. I love you Noah," he says almost in a whisper.
I close my eyes, trying to hold back that turmoil going on inside of me: Tinga's gone, the guy I love loves me back. I'm lost somewhere between complete plenitude and complete despair. The tears that finally break through my closed eyes, are both tears of sadness and happiness.
Zack pulls me closer and clutches me harder.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about Tinga. I'll bring her back to you, I promise I will. I can't bear to see you lose anyone else because of me. I'm."
"Zack?" I interrupt him, looking up to him, my cheeks all wet, "I love you" I say before bursting into tears again.
Zack's POV
Noah and I haven't had a minute to ourselves in the past few days: driving and traveling, pretending, lying to get people to trust us, using everything we were trained to do to find out where Tinga was. I didn't feel it was safe for Noah to get out of the cabin so soon after almost being caught by Manticore and the Mafia but she's a stubborn one.
We've spent a lot of time in Washington State without ever staying in Seattle or dropping by to see Max. I've managed to get in contact with a guy inside Manticore. According to him, Tinga's not there. But we weren't going to give up so easily. So, we dug a little more, did a little tracking, scared a few geeks to find out that Manticore had set up a research facility inside a converted silo near the municipal border.
Yeah, I know, we actually make a pretty good team. We're not sure yet but I think we've managed to put a face on Elizabeth Renfro, if it's her real name. Noah was glad to be able to identify the bitch that had tracked her down and double-crossed the Italian Mafia. We spied a conversation between her and another agent. Lydecker even joined the club later on. Doesn't seem to like her much. The thing is: what the hell does the blonde bitch want with Tinga?
Noah and I are back in Utah, back in Zane's cabin. We're gonna rest for a couple of days before going to get Tinga back. It's not going to be easy though. I think another soldier won't be of too much, I'm talking about Max of course. She was involved in Tinga's capture; she'll want to be involved in her escape. Plus, I hate to admit it but we might need to help of roller boy.
"Ah! Home sweet home!" Noah yawns before throwing herself in the huge armchair.
I light the fireplace and join her. She sits on my laps, curls up in my arms and closes her eyes. Her head on my chest, I start playing with her curls, twirling them around my fingers as I fall into deep reflexion about how we're going to get Tinga out.
"Don't worry" Noah says looking up to me, "Tinga'll be out of there tomorrow" it's like she just reads my mind "And then we'll run as far away from Manticore as we can and then." she starts.
".we'll get a normal life" I finish, brushing the curls out of her face and kissing her.
"We really do make a great team, huh?" she asks smirking.
"Sure do" I grin, "And I don't think I'm the CO in this team"
It's true; nobody gives order to X5 396. She does whatever she feels like doing and it usually turns out pretty good. I'm far from being a master at improvisation. She does that part, I take care of elaborating a plan. That's how we complete each other.
"There's no CO in this team, Zack" she says, "We're not soldiers anymore, we're just. humans"
I guess she's right but I don't think I'll ever see myself as something else than as a soldier.
"I want you to stop thinking you're responsible of everything. Stop thinking of me as another one of your soldiers cos I wanna be so much more than that. I'm here for you, to help you, to share the heavy weight of that burden you've imposed yourself. I want you to feel you're not alone anymore" Noah tells me.
I just never thought that anybody else than me could ever assume the responsibility of the 09s. I don't know if I'm ready to share that task. I just want her to be happy and I wish she would just let me make her happy instead of trying to make me happy. She's already managed to. I've always felt empty and with nothing to loose. She's changed all this and it feels weird, good but weird.
"I'm just. worried" I stammer.
"Worried about what?" she asks.
"About you" I reply, "What if something happens tomorrow? What if something happens to you? I'll never forgive myself, I'll never."
"See" she interrupts me, "That's the way I feel each time you go away and leave me. You gotta trust me"
"I do" I say defensively.
She has this funny look on, like she doesn't really believe me and maybe she has reasons to be. I never thought any of my siblings was responsible enough to know where all the others were. Does it mean that I don't trust any of them? Maybe. But I trust Noah, I really do and she's right, she's so much more than a soldier to me.
"Syl and Krit live together. I never really approve but." I shrug, "They're in some little town in Montana called Missoula. Bobbie's Miami. Remember she's always hated cold places. Reese is in New York and Tom is in Chicago. You already know where Max, Jondy and Zane are" I blurt out.
She looks at me, her eyes wide opened. Guess she didn't expect any of this, well neither did I but I think it's time. I want her to feel I trust her.
"I trust fully trust you. I'd put my life in your hands and I've just put the life of all the others. It's Manticore we can't trust"
"The only way to make sure nothing happens to the other one is to always stay together" she smirks, "How does that sound?"
I remain silent for a few seconds, thinking the whole thing over. Makes sense.
"Sounds great to me" I say letting my hands wonder under her shirt and around her caramel waist.
"Really? Always stay together" she asks a delicious smile on her lips as she throws my shirt above my head.
"Always" I say kissing her.
Notes: OK so Noah and Zack seem to be making a pretty good team, huh? Maybe if they had stick to their initial plan of always staying together, they actually would've got the life they both dreamed of. Question: what happened? I said I didn't intend to change the story so I had to come with something to explain why Noah wasn't in 'Meow' with Zack and Max saving Tinga. I came up with something of course, but the question remains for you readers. D'you guys have any idea? Find out in the next chapter. In the meantime, review please. Love ya BO.