Disclaimer: yui doesn't own gravi. I do own the lyrics for 'sweet poison'.
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 3 – sweet poison.
April 5th, 1996
Song of the day: Ibara no Namida by L'arc en Ciel
I fell asleep hugging my pillow and when I woke up, there was rain pouring from the sky. I put my pillow back on the bed and opened the balcony door to watch the rain falling. Feeling my swollen eyes, I closed them and leaned forward to kiss the rain.
Some drops slid from my lips down my neck and into my shirt.
It's like this.
This is how love feels like…
I went inside and left the balcony door right open. As I sat on my bed, I took my notebook and began to write words down as if the lyrics were just bursting to come out. I even made a melody for it.
That morning, I slipped into Touma's room with the extra key he had given to me. I closed the door behind me and kept my hand on it with my head down. I didn't want to disturb him, but I wanted to tell him something.
He was sleeping on top of his covers with his arm over his eyes. I crawled onto the bed and he turned to one side, but didn't wake up.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered into his ear. Then, I placed my finger on his bare chest and made imaginary circles to tickle him.
When he was blinking his eyes sleepily, he saw me and smiled.
I leaned down to kiss him with a smile on my face. "Good morning, Touma!" I said in English.
Waving up and down, I brought out my notebook. "I want this."
He blinked at me as he got up and took his glasses from his stand. He never showed anyone that he had glasses, and soon, he was going to have his eyes fixed. I handed him the pad as I pushed on his belly button. "Please?"
"This is an entirely new song to learn in less than six hours, Ryuichi," he said as he read the lyrics before him. "Hmm…"
I gave him a pout and with my eyes begging for him to comply.
"Brat," he answered as he put the notebook to one side along with his glasses. Then, he pushed me onto the bed while leaning towards me like an animal ready to pounce its prey. "I like it."
I laughed as I smiled while poking his nose. "Yea~!"
"Who would think that Japan's idol is such a fucking brat?" he teased as he bit my ear while licking it. He scolded playfully, "Waking me up way before our tv appointment today and with a new song. You must be punished."
"Ryuichi's been bad?" I blinked innocently at him, trying to keep a straight face.
"Just the way I like him," Touma chuckled as he began to push away my pajama top from my shoulder and bite me lightly like a vampire.
"You sure know many ways to kiss someone." I laughed as he began to take chocolate from his stand and ate some. Then, he began to push some down my own mouth.
"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," he smirked as his hand wandered…
I went to the television station with Nuriko and Tohma on a super high. Nuriko had to keep me out of trouble while pulling on my collar. "I'm sorry!" I would say.
Touma would laugh to himself while Nuriko scolded, "You gave him chocolate, didn't you?!"
"Ryuichi's more interesting this way, don't you think, Nuriko-chan?" Touma then folded his arms and sat on his chair patiently waiting for the time to pass.
I would look at Nuriko and put my hands together. "I'll be good, I swear!"
She let go and sat down on her chair exasperated. "I really like this new song, so you're temporarily off the hook."
"We sound like we're bored," I said as I sat on the couch with my arms out and my legs crossed.
"Trends, Ryuichi," Touma said as he took the cup of coffee from a table. "We've got to rise to the next level."
I lifted up my thumb in agreement. Then, I got up as I pulled on my pants because they were super tight around my ass and on my shirt. Nuriko came over to me and flicked off all the buttons except one. She patted my stomach. "Good."
She looked at herself in the mirror. "Ponytail okay. Tight black skirt and burgundy tube top, check."
"Okay with you guys?" she asked us.
We nodded at her as I went to Touma.
Nuriko went out first and I sat on one of Touma's legs while fixing his collar. "You're not telling me something."
He just kept quiet as he eluded my question.
We then followed Nuriko's lead and went to the front. But not without me listening to the tape while walking over there.
As we assembled for our performance, I gave a glance to Touma while taking out my earphones and putting them to one side of the room. I adjusted the mic as Nuriko tested out the keys while Touma looked at the keyboard, pressing the keys with his eyes. He was calculating everything as he always did.
"You start when the curtains open."
We nodded our heads as our name was called.
The male host, Tanaka-san, shouted, "And here's our special guest. Nittle Grasper!!!"
The crowd cheered as the red curtains pushed to either side of the stage. And my mouth totally lost its smile. My lips became thin as I closed my eyes. I grabbed on the stand.
This is mine.
I don't want you to just shout…
I want you to stop breathing.
With my eyes still closed, Touma and Nuriko started to play the song. I whispered, "sweet poison":
"The rain pours and pours
a lost humanity within my fingertips.
I feel, but I cannot see.
I'm blind, but I can't reach.
Deep within myself,
I sleep for forty thousand years."
I opened my eyes to find that Tatsuha was there before me. My eyes opened slightly wide in surprise as I looked at other audience members while grabbing the mic before me.
"Calling out to find
There is really no voice.
Things change and
People want things to stay the same.
Next to you,
I see eternity and destruction
At the same time."
Holding one hand out, I winked at him even though it looked like I was making the crowd swoon.
"The mermaid loves to smile
With eyes that
Bring forth fake pearls for tears.
I kill myself
Each time you look at me.
I am walking in the darkness
Towards you
And you just look at me
As if I don't know
You're backing away from me."
Putting both hands on the stand again and crisscrossed my wrists while lifting them up slowly as if I were rubbing the stand. I tilted my head and looked at the camera with a smile.
"The rain continues.
We're looking at one another
Not understanding one another.
I find a bloody war
Stained with only my own blood.
Beautiful muse
You take everything away from me.
Don't look away
As I reach out for you,
I'll fall off the ledge
Not knowing this was hell.
I can't tell the difference
When you're not around."
Smiling at Tatsuha, I couldn't breathe as I found my knees wanting to crumble.
"Can't tell the difference…
So much confusion…
I love the illusion
You give me.
A possessive mermaid
Who can't let go of
Her lover's chopped head.
Holding him tightly.
Tasting my blood,
Will I poison you
Just as well?
Or have I been
Already deceived?
They say you can live forever
With this elixir
Called love
They didn't tell you
It was just as easy
To die from it."
When the audience clapped, I held my hand up and looked at everyone. But I glanced back at him before I left the stage.
As we went to the back, I smiled at Touma and Nuriko. But then, I took my jacket and said, "I'll see you back at the hotel."
Before Touma could protest, I ran. I ran as fast as I could not really knowing how to control myself.
I was going to explode and I didn't know where to turn.
I found myself in a street corner with my shades on. At that moment, I was looking at Tatsuha and his brother getting into their family car. I lifted up my head and watched him step in. He glanced my way, but he couldn't have seen me with all the people in his way.
I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I ran to the park and found a private area in between the bushes. I began to lean on the tree as I brought out my inhaler to use it.
"I want that boy…" I breathless said while helplessly feeling restless and jittery.
I did one of my best performances today.
And yet I couldn't be proud of myself. There was only him on my mind.
I tried to breath calmly, but the pain deep inside of my heart wouldn't go away. It just became more unbearable.
"I want him…" I told myself while my hands twitched, rubbing fingers together in agitation.
I knew I was already damned when I looked at him…
I imagined his tender eyes in my head again…
Yes, I was in love.
But before I could touch him, I was going to cut myself into shreds.
I was going to tear myself apart and lose my mind.
I sighed as I began to close my eyes.
This loneliness was going to eat me away.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: I didn't realize I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds because my heart just felt like it was going to burst. Ryuichi is really damned in this fic, but I tried to paint a realistic picture of him and his inner battle.
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 3 – sweet poison.
April 5th, 1996
Song of the day: Ibara no Namida by L'arc en Ciel
I fell asleep hugging my pillow and when I woke up, there was rain pouring from the sky. I put my pillow back on the bed and opened the balcony door to watch the rain falling. Feeling my swollen eyes, I closed them and leaned forward to kiss the rain.
Some drops slid from my lips down my neck and into my shirt.
It's like this.
This is how love feels like…
I went inside and left the balcony door right open. As I sat on my bed, I took my notebook and began to write words down as if the lyrics were just bursting to come out. I even made a melody for it.
That morning, I slipped into Touma's room with the extra key he had given to me. I closed the door behind me and kept my hand on it with my head down. I didn't want to disturb him, but I wanted to tell him something.
He was sleeping on top of his covers with his arm over his eyes. I crawled onto the bed and he turned to one side, but didn't wake up.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered into his ear. Then, I placed my finger on his bare chest and made imaginary circles to tickle him.
When he was blinking his eyes sleepily, he saw me and smiled.
I leaned down to kiss him with a smile on my face. "Good morning, Touma!" I said in English.
Waving up and down, I brought out my notebook. "I want this."
He blinked at me as he got up and took his glasses from his stand. He never showed anyone that he had glasses, and soon, he was going to have his eyes fixed. I handed him the pad as I pushed on his belly button. "Please?"
"This is an entirely new song to learn in less than six hours, Ryuichi," he said as he read the lyrics before him. "Hmm…"
I gave him a pout and with my eyes begging for him to comply.
"Brat," he answered as he put the notebook to one side along with his glasses. Then, he pushed me onto the bed while leaning towards me like an animal ready to pounce its prey. "I like it."
I laughed as I smiled while poking his nose. "Yea~!"
"Who would think that Japan's idol is such a fucking brat?" he teased as he bit my ear while licking it. He scolded playfully, "Waking me up way before our tv appointment today and with a new song. You must be punished."
"Ryuichi's been bad?" I blinked innocently at him, trying to keep a straight face.
"Just the way I like him," Touma chuckled as he began to push away my pajama top from my shoulder and bite me lightly like a vampire.
"You sure know many ways to kiss someone." I laughed as he began to take chocolate from his stand and ate some. Then, he began to push some down my own mouth.
"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," he smirked as his hand wandered…
I went to the television station with Nuriko and Tohma on a super high. Nuriko had to keep me out of trouble while pulling on my collar. "I'm sorry!" I would say.
Touma would laugh to himself while Nuriko scolded, "You gave him chocolate, didn't you?!"
"Ryuichi's more interesting this way, don't you think, Nuriko-chan?" Touma then folded his arms and sat on his chair patiently waiting for the time to pass.
I would look at Nuriko and put my hands together. "I'll be good, I swear!"
She let go and sat down on her chair exasperated. "I really like this new song, so you're temporarily off the hook."
"We sound like we're bored," I said as I sat on the couch with my arms out and my legs crossed.
"Trends, Ryuichi," Touma said as he took the cup of coffee from a table. "We've got to rise to the next level."
I lifted up my thumb in agreement. Then, I got up as I pulled on my pants because they were super tight around my ass and on my shirt. Nuriko came over to me and flicked off all the buttons except one. She patted my stomach. "Good."
She looked at herself in the mirror. "Ponytail okay. Tight black skirt and burgundy tube top, check."
"Okay with you guys?" she asked us.
We nodded at her as I went to Touma.
Nuriko went out first and I sat on one of Touma's legs while fixing his collar. "You're not telling me something."
He just kept quiet as he eluded my question.
We then followed Nuriko's lead and went to the front. But not without me listening to the tape while walking over there.
As we assembled for our performance, I gave a glance to Touma while taking out my earphones and putting them to one side of the room. I adjusted the mic as Nuriko tested out the keys while Touma looked at the keyboard, pressing the keys with his eyes. He was calculating everything as he always did.
"You start when the curtains open."
We nodded our heads as our name was called.
The male host, Tanaka-san, shouted, "And here's our special guest. Nittle Grasper!!!"
The crowd cheered as the red curtains pushed to either side of the stage. And my mouth totally lost its smile. My lips became thin as I closed my eyes. I grabbed on the stand.
This is mine.
I don't want you to just shout…
I want you to stop breathing.
With my eyes still closed, Touma and Nuriko started to play the song. I whispered, "sweet poison":
"The rain pours and pours
a lost humanity within my fingertips.
I feel, but I cannot see.
I'm blind, but I can't reach.
Deep within myself,
I sleep for forty thousand years."
I opened my eyes to find that Tatsuha was there before me. My eyes opened slightly wide in surprise as I looked at other audience members while grabbing the mic before me.
"Calling out to find
There is really no voice.
Things change and
People want things to stay the same.
Next to you,
I see eternity and destruction
At the same time."
Holding one hand out, I winked at him even though it looked like I was making the crowd swoon.
"The mermaid loves to smile
With eyes that
Bring forth fake pearls for tears.
I kill myself
Each time you look at me.
I am walking in the darkness
Towards you
And you just look at me
As if I don't know
You're backing away from me."
Putting both hands on the stand again and crisscrossed my wrists while lifting them up slowly as if I were rubbing the stand. I tilted my head and looked at the camera with a smile.
"The rain continues.
We're looking at one another
Not understanding one another.
I find a bloody war
Stained with only my own blood.
Beautiful muse
You take everything away from me.
Don't look away
As I reach out for you,
I'll fall off the ledge
Not knowing this was hell.
I can't tell the difference
When you're not around."
Smiling at Tatsuha, I couldn't breathe as I found my knees wanting to crumble.
"Can't tell the difference…
So much confusion…
I love the illusion
You give me.
A possessive mermaid
Who can't let go of
Her lover's chopped head.
Holding him tightly.
Tasting my blood,
Will I poison you
Just as well?
Or have I been
Already deceived?
They say you can live forever
With this elixir
Called love
They didn't tell you
It was just as easy
To die from it."
When the audience clapped, I held my hand up and looked at everyone. But I glanced back at him before I left the stage.
As we went to the back, I smiled at Touma and Nuriko. But then, I took my jacket and said, "I'll see you back at the hotel."
Before Touma could protest, I ran. I ran as fast as I could not really knowing how to control myself.
I was going to explode and I didn't know where to turn.
I found myself in a street corner with my shades on. At that moment, I was looking at Tatsuha and his brother getting into their family car. I lifted up my head and watched him step in. He glanced my way, but he couldn't have seen me with all the people in his way.
I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I ran to the park and found a private area in between the bushes. I began to lean on the tree as I brought out my inhaler to use it.
"I want that boy…" I breathless said while helplessly feeling restless and jittery.
I did one of my best performances today.
And yet I couldn't be proud of myself. There was only him on my mind.
I tried to breath calmly, but the pain deep inside of my heart wouldn't go away. It just became more unbearable.
"I want him…" I told myself while my hands twitched, rubbing fingers together in agitation.
I knew I was already damned when I looked at him…
I imagined his tender eyes in my head again…
Yes, I was in love.
But before I could touch him, I was going to cut myself into shreds.
I was going to tear myself apart and lose my mind.
I sighed as I began to close my eyes.
This loneliness was going to eat me away.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: I didn't realize I stopped breathing for a couple of seconds because my heart just felt like it was going to burst. Ryuichi is really damned in this fic, but I tried to paint a realistic picture of him and his inner battle.