Notes: OK, first of all I'd like to thank all reviewers... but a very very
special thank to Rose. I really think that, if it weren't for you, I never
would've come through with this story...
OK, enough with all the thank yous. So, this is it folks! The last chapter of my second fanfic. It's weird, my second fanfic's completed before my first one! So, I thought I'd let a little fantasy in, since this is the last chapter. Nothing crazy, just a little song lyric. The song's called 'Taking me over' by Evanescence. I completely love their CD and I just thought it perfectly fit my character, Noah. The chapter's title's inspired by an Angel episode. God I nearly cried during that episode, it's the one when Buffy comes to L.A. and Angel manages to be human.Oh, well, enjoy and review.
Chapter XI: I will remember you
Noah's POV
'You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do.'
I'm lying on a bed. It's not mine. I haven't stayed in a bed long enough to call it mine since. since I was in Zane's cabin with Zack, my Zack, the real one, not the one sleeping in the bedroom right next to mine. I thought finding him would resolve everything so I went right to the address that Cale guy gave me but I didn't find Zack.
My body's covered with sweat and it aches, kinda like I've been running for days and days. Well, in my dreams I have. I have been running after him and each time it seems like I'm gonna be able to touch him, my hand just closes itself on thin air as he's disappeared. I've been having this dream ever since he's left and even now that I've found him.
Like I said, I haven't really found him. It's not really him. He doesn't even recognize my face; my name doesn't even ring a bell. He doesn't remember me at all; he doesn't remember us at all.
First of all, I hadn't plan on being sleeping in a guestroom right next to his; I hadn't really planned anything as a matter of fact. I just pushed my bike as fast as it could towards that little ranch not so far from Seattle. I cut through the woods as I realized the road was making a huge detour for some reason. Some ecologist organization probably forbade the local government from building the road through the woods to preserve it. That must've happened when ecologists still had that sorta power.
I just went straight ahead until I finally hit the road again. As I came straight outta the trees, I noticed this huge field lying in front of me and a farm further away. I knew that had to be the place, but that wasn't what I was staring at. I didn't even tell myself: 'Hey, this ranch's not so little after all!'
Nope, I just stayed there, on my bike, in the middle of the street, using my hyper vision to stare at the tall athletic blonde guy doing; I don't even know what he was doing in that field. He was just there right in front of me, well, not really right in front of me since I was using my hyper vision.
I was so surprised and moved. I don't really know why. It was silly. I expected to see him. It's why I had come for in the first place, why I had given everything up, what I had dreamed of, the only real thing that mattered: getting him back.
I just stayed there, my mouth dropped open, my eyes endlessly releasing tears without being able to do anything to stop them, blood running from the cuts on my cheeks caused by the branches in the woods. I don't know how long I stayed that way. Well, until that huge truck hit me, smashed my bike on the side of the road and threw me in the cornfield in front of me and where was the guy I was staring at. Only then, did I realize it was a cornfield!
I didn't even hear the car come; neither did I feel its heat coming towards me in this cold end of winter. It happens sometimes when I'm focusing a little too much and too long on one sense that I kinda completely forget about the rest of my senses and also about the rest of the world.
Well, the truck didn't see me either. There was a turn on the road right before where I was. The driver who's also the owner of the ranch, Buddy, did not expect somebody in the middle of the road staring at his precious field, not that it ever happened to him. But, it's different; he's the owner. Besides, I was staring at the guy in the field, not the field itself!
Well, Zack, I mean Adam ran to me as soon as he saw me fly into the air and land a few feet from him. I was a little stunned, well, actually, I was near falling unconscious so they carried me inside their home and called a doctor who said I had been incredibly lucky to get out of it with nothing but a couple of bruises. Luck! Yeah right, if Zack had been himself he would have told him that there's no such thing as luck.
"Success depends on having a well-thought-out plan that's executed with precision" he used to say. Well, he was right this time. I didn't have any plan and look here I am lying on a bed, in a farm, looking for a boyfriend who doesn't even know who I am. Could it possibly get any worse?
I turn on the side of the bed, squeezing a pillow and trying to muffle my sobs in it.
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
Zack/Adam's POV
I have a funny feeling about this girl. She's really strange. What was she doing in the middle of the street on her bike? Well, the engine's pretty smashed up now. It'll take a while before we can get it fixed, that is, if it can be fixed. Buddy and Mary want her to stay here until it is. They're so nice. They did the same for me. I hope they don't regret it, now that they must know what I am.
I'm having breakfast. It's pretty early but I don't mind; farm work doesn't bother me. It's not that hard anyway. I'm glad to help Buddy, he's getting too old for some choirs and they have no child. They are other employees of course but none of them actually lives with them 24/7 like I do. I feel more like a family member, then like an employee.
Maybe I have another family somewhere and I don't even know it. I don't remember much about what happened before the accident. The only memories I have are flashes. I don't think I ever had any parents. I must've been in an orphanage or something but I have the feeling that I did have a family anyway. Well, it's just a feeling, phoney sentimentality, doesn't really mean anything.
There's something about that girl. She seems familiar. I'd like to go see her but what would I tell her. Hi! I'm the guy that picked you up yesterday in the field, remember? I was thinking maybe you might know me cause I suffer from total amnesia. Maybe we grew up in the same orphanage?
She said her name was Noah, well, that's a pretty name. I don't know why I can't get my mind of her.
The TV's on. They're talking about transgenics again, saying how dangerous some of them can be. That they have a bar code on the back of the head, like I do, that they have extraordinary strength and abilities, like I do. I know Mary and Buddy noticed it too. They never mentioned it though, well, not until last week.
I was working in the grange, cutting some extra wood. So, I was using the electrical saw and Buddy came along. I don't know what really happened, he took me by surprise and well, the saw would have hit him right in the face if I hadn't put myself between them. I don't know how it's possible that I was quick enough to put myself in front of him. I didn't even think; sometimes I have these unexplainable reflexes, I don't know where they're coming from, neither how I knew it wouldn't hurt me.
The saw hit my left cheek and the impact just revealed a metallic material under my skin. I don't know if my whole body's like that. I'm not just transgenic, I'm a robot, I'm not even human! The next morning skin had grown back and nobody even noticed a thing. Buddy didn't talk about it but I know he told Mary.
It's amazing they act as if nothing's changed. I'm still Adam and knowing I'm not normal doesn't seem to matter to them. It matters to me though. I know for sure now that I'm different. I'm not sure that I ever want to remember my past. I'm fine the way I am. At least I was, until she showed up. I wanna go to her. I wanna talk to her. It's such a strange feeling. Maybe it has nothing to do with my past.
Buddy says he felt like he had known Mary forever when he first saw her. Yeah, that's it, it has nothing to do with my past.
Noah's POV
'Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then'
I don't know what to do. I've been sitting near the fireplace all morning. Mary's fixing lunch. She keeps saying I need some rest and won't let me go out. She's adorable really but what am I suppose to do? Send her flying in the field too so I can go talk to the one she considers like her son?
Zack and Buddy, I mean, Adam and Buddy are still working. They all looked surprised this morning when I showed up at breakfast. I guess they didn't expect me to wake up so early.
Zack, Adam, I mean looked at me funny at first. Then, he tried avoiding my eyes. I didn't really know how to react; I felt like jumping on him, hugging him and kissing him. I had trouble controlling myself: seeing him again, being able to smell him, to feel his strong arms around me as he carried me out of the field to the house. This really is unbearable.
Mary and Buddy are both so nice. I'm glad he's been surrounded by this kind of people until then. I guess Max took care of it. She gave him a normal life, the one he's always wanted and deserved. Do I have the right to take it away from him just because I can't have ANY sorta life without him?
I have to talk to him, find some way to be alone with him. It's gonna be kinda hard as Mary won't let me leave the house. Then again, how am I going to stand being alone with him without wanting to jump all over him?
I wonder where's my bike. That's it! My bike, of course! Why didn't I think of it at first?
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
"Lunch's ready!" Mary screams out from the kitchen as Zack and Buddy, I mean, Adam and Buddy walk in the living room.
All three of us head for the kitchen. I walk close to Zack, Adam. whatever and ask:
"I'd like to have a look at my bike after lunch. Mary's told me you're pretty good at fixing things, if you have enough time maybe you could come with, you know, to see if it's fixable"
He looks at Buddy who immediately says:
"Yeah, no problem. Sam'll take care of you chores this afternoon"
"OK then" he says smirking.
Zack/Adam POV
OK, this is it, the moment I've been waiting for, ever since she's literally jumped off her bike and into my life. We're alone in the garage where her bike stands, looking pretty bad actually. I'm not sure it's fixable but that doesn't really matter.
Noah's leaning over what's left of it, frowning and even looking sad. I'm standing right beside her, actually, we're very close but it doesn't feel strange. It feels more like it's the way it's supposed to be. She turns around and her green eyes look up straight at me.
"Well, she looks pretty bad, doesn't she?" she tells me still looking at me.
"I'm afraid she does. I don't think she'll ever be as good as new" I answer.
"D'you think it's always that way? D'you think some things are never meant to come back the way they were?" she says lowering her voice.
I can't take my eyes away from hers, except maybe one-quarter of a second to look at her voluptuous lips.
"I guess so, but things can always get better. You don't know what your future's made of" I answer lowering my voice as well and coming even closer to her.
It's incredible. I don't even know her! We've been alone for something like fifteen minutes, I'm already about to kiss her. It's like we've both been waiting to have a moment to ourselves.
Her lips are warm and tender, just like her kiss. It feels familiar and so right, just like when I put my left hand in her curls and my right hand around her waist.
The kiss that had started off soft and smooth becomes a bit more passionate and stronger. I feel her breath accelerating and mine too. I don't remember ever feeling this. Well, it's really not a good reference since I don't remember much but still; it's so intense.
She pulls away a little, like to catch her breath and let's go a low, hushed whisper:
"Zack"
I open my eyes straight away and coldly say:
"No, I'm Adam. Excuse me, Buddy needs my help"
I walk towards the exit and something amazing happens. She ends up in the middle of my way in half a second. Something tells me she's not too normal either.
"Wait" she pleads.
"Who are you?" I ask her my brow raised.
"I told you, I'm Noah. The question is who are YOU?"
It's creepy to think some people could actually know more about you than yourself. I'd rather think she's bluffing.
"Look. I really gotta get to work"
"How could you not remember me?" she asks tears forming in her eyes, "You promised you'd be back. You said nothing could stop you from coming back to me, not even Manticore!"
She's crying for real now; she's not bluffing well, she doesn't seem to be. Manticore.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask her.
"You're Zack. You're X5 599 and I'm 396. We were created in a governmental secret lab, Manticore. We escaped in 09. You and some others tried to destroy Manticore because they kept chasing us, remember?"
"I think you need some rest," I say walking out of the grange.
"Zack. Don't you remember? There's not just me. There's Max and Syl and Krit, Jondy, Zane and Brin. Don't let us down. Don't you remember what they did to Jack, Eva and Tinga. You promised me you'd come back"
I leave the place and her behind. I'm both lost and confused. I don't whether or not I should believe her. Maybe it's a trick to make me admit that I'm... different. I've heard some federal agents are trying to get rid of all the transgenics. But why is all this happening to me? I was leading a nice calm and normal life. What would they want from me? What des she want from me? I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't even remember a thing.
She's crying still in there, saying my name, his name. Zack. I dunno whose name it is! I don't even know who I am anymore.
Buddy's POV
I've thought about it over night and Mary agrees with me. It's not luck that she's come out safe and sound of this collision. I wasn't driving a normal car, it was one hell of truck and I was going fast too. I saw the jump she made and you can't be propelled like that and just feel dizzy afterwards.
I thought about contacting Logan but he's probably got better things to do, besides he's the only one that knew about Adam, well; Max knew too. How could Noah have found him if not by them?
She was unmistakably looking for him. Why else would she have been there, in the middle of the road, staring at the field?
Besides the fact that we're really going to miss him, the question is do we still have the right to hide him his real identity? What if he's been missing to someone else? Noah, indeed.
There he comes. So soon? Wasn't he supposed to be with her? He looks weird, kinda stunned and not really here. Oh my god! He knows. Uncertain and uneasy, I walk to him, put my arm on his shoulder and drag him somewhere no one can here us.
"What did she tell you?" I pause, "She's told you, right?" I add stating the obvious.
"What are you talking about?" his eyes flicker.
"She's told you who you are" my voice seems like a whisper.
"You. She's telling the truth?"
"You knew you were different and it's obvious she ended up here for a reason" I sigh heavily.
"I'm a... transgenic," he says to himself, gazing at the air, "Zack... Is it my real name?" he asks me horrified.
I nod.
"I'm sorry, Adam. We didn't tell you because we wanted to protect you. We really care about you like our own son. We never wanted to lie to you" I justify myself.
"Why can't I remember anything? Why can't I remember her or who I am?" he asks even more panicked, "maybe I don't remember anything because there is nothing to remember. How do I know she's not lying?"
"I really don't think she is. And deep down inside, you know she isn't" I calmly say, coming closer to him and putting my hand on his shoulder.
He just steps back and won't let me touch him. He looks disgusted and furious.
"How do I know YOU're not lying?" he scowls.
I'm standing there, bewildered: I can't really say anything to make him change his mind, can I? The one I love like my own son looks at me like I'm the enemy. He has all the reasons to believe that I am. Through his eyes, I have betrayed him.
"Wait, Adam, wait I can explain" I manage to stammer but too late; he's gone.
My eyes only caught a blurry vision f him running away, he ran so fast.
Later.
"Mary? Mary? Is he here?" I scream out through the kitchen.
"No. He wasn't come back. I'm so worried. It's been several hours already," Mary says whipping a tear away with a napkin.
"I don't think he'll be back, well, not so soon" Noah says.
Right now, I hate her for coming into our lives like that and destroying everything. Although I know that I'm just as responsible as she is. But, if it hadn't been for her.
"He would've found out sooner or later, even if I hadn't come" she says as if she was reading my mind, "Transgenics are all over the damn place. We're a lot more than we used to be. The Manticore zoo's doors have been burst open"
She looks serious, determined and even cold. It's like she doesn't even care.
"My guess is the wood," she says coolly.
"How would you know?" I reply.
"I've known him ever since I was born" she barks back.
She slowly inspires, calms herself down and says:
"I'll go and look for him and don't tell anyone, especially not the cops, OK? The last thing we need is a couple of federal agents on our ass. If you love him, you'll do as I say"
Mary nods, silently crying. Noah puts on her leather jacket. I look straight at her and if I hadn't heard her a few minutes ago, I'd think she's worried.
"I didn't come all the way here to lose him again. I'll bring him back OK Mary?" she says trying to comfort my wife.
"But it's dark, you can't go all alone. At least take a flashlight." Mary proposes.
"Don't worry. My creators had planned on us doing night missions" she smirks.
She looks detached again. Her worried expression's only lasted a second but it was enough to reveal what she really felt. It made me feel more confident, I can only admire her self control. I don't care whether or not her cold and determined mask was on again, I know that she cares and that she'll do anything to bring back my boy.
"Call me if he ever shows up before I do. Last time he recovered part of his memory in a few hours. No one can know how long it'll take this time... if he ever does recover..." she sys gazing at the air.
Then, she shakes her head, like trying to get that thought out of her head and leaves the house, disappearing in the dark just as fast as he had.
Noah's POV
'I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are
Just like you are taking over me'
I would've taken my bike but it's completely smashed. He would've heard me come anyway. I'm quieter by foot but these woods are huge. My instinct tells me he has to be somewhere in there. If he really was as moved and lost as Buddy says he was, he couldn't have gone far. That night when we escaped, we hurried towards the woods, thinking only of taking cover in them. Basic instincts... So memory loss or not, an X5 never loses his basic instincts, I hope.
All my senses are aware as I'm walking through the woods. I should focus on Zack: seeing him, hearing him or smelling him, but my mind keeps wondering on its own.
That old grumpy crust. Not only did he smash my bike but he's also accusing me of taking away his boy! Zack's not his boy; he's my boyfriend! Besides Zack didn't run away after talking with me but after talking with him!
I've been walking for about an hour, making my way further into the dark woods, when finally I hear him. I hear his breath; it's loud, irregular and fast. I take a step further; he's on my right, sitting on the ground, his back against a tree, his head between his hands.
I don't think he's even heard me. He seems too lost in. himself. He's looking down, his blonde hair hiding his face. I come closer, kneel and gently put my hand on his arm. Not a smart move, I admit it. You don't surprise a killing machine with killing reflexes that way, especially when the guy's seriously disoriented!
Zack startles and violently puts his hands around my neck. He looks at me mean at first, then he mellows and whispers:
"Noah."
He lets go of me, tears running down his cheeks. He tries to hide them by putting his head back into his hands. There's something strange in the way he said my name. He said it like he used to, like on that morning he promised me he'd come back. Could it be that he's finally come back?
"Zack. Are you" I start asking.
"Noah... What happened to me? How did I...?" he asks his blue eyes expressing more turmoil than they had ever had before.
"I'm sorry... Tinga..." he says like remembering what had happened to her "I'm sorry" he endlessly repeats "Max... I couldn't let another one die because of me. I'm sorry. We had already lost Tinga. I'm so sorry" he stammers.
I feel a slight smile appear on my lips and tears running down my face.
"Zack, it's you, it's really you" I say hugging him, "It's all right, it wasn't your fault, I know what happened"
I feel this sensation of déjà vu. It reminds of that night in Phoenix, after Brin got captured. He was crying the same way in my arm and I'm whispering words of comfort to his ear as my tears are wetting his soft blonde hair. It doesn't feel the same though this time. I was sad for Brin, I'm happy for us. Tonight's completely different in that sense.
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
Zack's POV
We, Noah and I, have decided to hang a while with Buddy and Mary. Who can refuse a little X5 help in a ranch? We'll be moving soon though, to see the country a bit, check on the others, and maybe organize a little X5 reunion, why not? (It's Noah's idea!)
Noah. Where would I be without her? She's proved me once again that she could do just fine without my protection? In fact lately, I'm the one that's been needing help. Guess you can't always look out for the others. You have to let them look out for you too. I tried protecting my family the best I could, refusing help from those I was suppose to protect. I need to learn to give up my pride sometimes I guess.
I can't help thinking that maybe if I hadn't been so stubborn we could've saved Tinga. I'll feel guilty till the end of my days but at least she taught me something. You can't wear a mask forever and if we did escape, it was to find out what was outside.
Maybe outside isn't exactly perfect but it's beautiful in its own freakin' kinda way.
"You're missing to whole thing if you don't open up your heart a little Zack. You're only seeing the bad things of this world. Don't spoil your life, big bro." a wise little sister once told me and don't worry Ting, I don't intend to.
I'm going to get a nice and as normal as possible life and I'm not alone anymore. I've got my annoying little brat with me and she'll look out for me just like I'll look out for her.
Notes: Ta-da. The End. I know, I know, it probably would've made more sense with a sad ending, like Zack not wanting to go back to being a CO, or not wanting to remember Noah... But what can I say? I prefer happy endings...
There has to be a few things you liked and many things you disliked. Let me know. I don't mind long and detailed reviews so just click. Come on click! You know you want to.
For those that are interested, I intend to write a fic that would take place before 09, how did Sandeman and Lydecker ever come to collaborate and what were the relationships between all the X5s kids, reconstitute the whole unit, describe trainings and all... It's not written yet, so might have to wait a while but I'll be back, I love this too much... I also have at least two other idea of DA fic, one of them would be darker than what I've written until now. I'd like to describe a mentally unstable X5, inspired by Ben but only inspired... so lots of resources, only thing I need is time. I think I'll finish my first fanfic 'Third season' before starting anything though... I also have ideas about original fics... So we'll see.
Love ya. BO
OK, enough with all the thank yous. So, this is it folks! The last chapter of my second fanfic. It's weird, my second fanfic's completed before my first one! So, I thought I'd let a little fantasy in, since this is the last chapter. Nothing crazy, just a little song lyric. The song's called 'Taking me over' by Evanescence. I completely love their CD and I just thought it perfectly fit my character, Noah. The chapter's title's inspired by an Angel episode. God I nearly cried during that episode, it's the one when Buffy comes to L.A. and Angel manages to be human.Oh, well, enjoy and review.
Chapter XI: I will remember you
Noah's POV
'You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do.'
I'm lying on a bed. It's not mine. I haven't stayed in a bed long enough to call it mine since. since I was in Zane's cabin with Zack, my Zack, the real one, not the one sleeping in the bedroom right next to mine. I thought finding him would resolve everything so I went right to the address that Cale guy gave me but I didn't find Zack.
My body's covered with sweat and it aches, kinda like I've been running for days and days. Well, in my dreams I have. I have been running after him and each time it seems like I'm gonna be able to touch him, my hand just closes itself on thin air as he's disappeared. I've been having this dream ever since he's left and even now that I've found him.
Like I said, I haven't really found him. It's not really him. He doesn't even recognize my face; my name doesn't even ring a bell. He doesn't remember me at all; he doesn't remember us at all.
First of all, I hadn't plan on being sleeping in a guestroom right next to his; I hadn't really planned anything as a matter of fact. I just pushed my bike as fast as it could towards that little ranch not so far from Seattle. I cut through the woods as I realized the road was making a huge detour for some reason. Some ecologist organization probably forbade the local government from building the road through the woods to preserve it. That must've happened when ecologists still had that sorta power.
I just went straight ahead until I finally hit the road again. As I came straight outta the trees, I noticed this huge field lying in front of me and a farm further away. I knew that had to be the place, but that wasn't what I was staring at. I didn't even tell myself: 'Hey, this ranch's not so little after all!'
Nope, I just stayed there, on my bike, in the middle of the street, using my hyper vision to stare at the tall athletic blonde guy doing; I don't even know what he was doing in that field. He was just there right in front of me, well, not really right in front of me since I was using my hyper vision.
I was so surprised and moved. I don't really know why. It was silly. I expected to see him. It's why I had come for in the first place, why I had given everything up, what I had dreamed of, the only real thing that mattered: getting him back.
I just stayed there, my mouth dropped open, my eyes endlessly releasing tears without being able to do anything to stop them, blood running from the cuts on my cheeks caused by the branches in the woods. I don't know how long I stayed that way. Well, until that huge truck hit me, smashed my bike on the side of the road and threw me in the cornfield in front of me and where was the guy I was staring at. Only then, did I realize it was a cornfield!
I didn't even hear the car come; neither did I feel its heat coming towards me in this cold end of winter. It happens sometimes when I'm focusing a little too much and too long on one sense that I kinda completely forget about the rest of my senses and also about the rest of the world.
Well, the truck didn't see me either. There was a turn on the road right before where I was. The driver who's also the owner of the ranch, Buddy, did not expect somebody in the middle of the road staring at his precious field, not that it ever happened to him. But, it's different; he's the owner. Besides, I was staring at the guy in the field, not the field itself!
Well, Zack, I mean Adam ran to me as soon as he saw me fly into the air and land a few feet from him. I was a little stunned, well, actually, I was near falling unconscious so they carried me inside their home and called a doctor who said I had been incredibly lucky to get out of it with nothing but a couple of bruises. Luck! Yeah right, if Zack had been himself he would have told him that there's no such thing as luck.
"Success depends on having a well-thought-out plan that's executed with precision" he used to say. Well, he was right this time. I didn't have any plan and look here I am lying on a bed, in a farm, looking for a boyfriend who doesn't even know who I am. Could it possibly get any worse?
I turn on the side of the bed, squeezing a pillow and trying to muffle my sobs in it.
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
Zack/Adam's POV
I have a funny feeling about this girl. She's really strange. What was she doing in the middle of the street on her bike? Well, the engine's pretty smashed up now. It'll take a while before we can get it fixed, that is, if it can be fixed. Buddy and Mary want her to stay here until it is. They're so nice. They did the same for me. I hope they don't regret it, now that they must know what I am.
I'm having breakfast. It's pretty early but I don't mind; farm work doesn't bother me. It's not that hard anyway. I'm glad to help Buddy, he's getting too old for some choirs and they have no child. They are other employees of course but none of them actually lives with them 24/7 like I do. I feel more like a family member, then like an employee.
Maybe I have another family somewhere and I don't even know it. I don't remember much about what happened before the accident. The only memories I have are flashes. I don't think I ever had any parents. I must've been in an orphanage or something but I have the feeling that I did have a family anyway. Well, it's just a feeling, phoney sentimentality, doesn't really mean anything.
There's something about that girl. She seems familiar. I'd like to go see her but what would I tell her. Hi! I'm the guy that picked you up yesterday in the field, remember? I was thinking maybe you might know me cause I suffer from total amnesia. Maybe we grew up in the same orphanage?
She said her name was Noah, well, that's a pretty name. I don't know why I can't get my mind of her.
The TV's on. They're talking about transgenics again, saying how dangerous some of them can be. That they have a bar code on the back of the head, like I do, that they have extraordinary strength and abilities, like I do. I know Mary and Buddy noticed it too. They never mentioned it though, well, not until last week.
I was working in the grange, cutting some extra wood. So, I was using the electrical saw and Buddy came along. I don't know what really happened, he took me by surprise and well, the saw would have hit him right in the face if I hadn't put myself between them. I don't know how it's possible that I was quick enough to put myself in front of him. I didn't even think; sometimes I have these unexplainable reflexes, I don't know where they're coming from, neither how I knew it wouldn't hurt me.
The saw hit my left cheek and the impact just revealed a metallic material under my skin. I don't know if my whole body's like that. I'm not just transgenic, I'm a robot, I'm not even human! The next morning skin had grown back and nobody even noticed a thing. Buddy didn't talk about it but I know he told Mary.
It's amazing they act as if nothing's changed. I'm still Adam and knowing I'm not normal doesn't seem to matter to them. It matters to me though. I know for sure now that I'm different. I'm not sure that I ever want to remember my past. I'm fine the way I am. At least I was, until she showed up. I wanna go to her. I wanna talk to her. It's such a strange feeling. Maybe it has nothing to do with my past.
Buddy says he felt like he had known Mary forever when he first saw her. Yeah, that's it, it has nothing to do with my past.
Noah's POV
'Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then'
I don't know what to do. I've been sitting near the fireplace all morning. Mary's fixing lunch. She keeps saying I need some rest and won't let me go out. She's adorable really but what am I suppose to do? Send her flying in the field too so I can go talk to the one she considers like her son?
Zack and Buddy, I mean, Adam and Buddy are still working. They all looked surprised this morning when I showed up at breakfast. I guess they didn't expect me to wake up so early.
Zack, Adam, I mean looked at me funny at first. Then, he tried avoiding my eyes. I didn't really know how to react; I felt like jumping on him, hugging him and kissing him. I had trouble controlling myself: seeing him again, being able to smell him, to feel his strong arms around me as he carried me out of the field to the house. This really is unbearable.
Mary and Buddy are both so nice. I'm glad he's been surrounded by this kind of people until then. I guess Max took care of it. She gave him a normal life, the one he's always wanted and deserved. Do I have the right to take it away from him just because I can't have ANY sorta life without him?
I have to talk to him, find some way to be alone with him. It's gonna be kinda hard as Mary won't let me leave the house. Then again, how am I going to stand being alone with him without wanting to jump all over him?
I wonder where's my bike. That's it! My bike, of course! Why didn't I think of it at first?
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
"Lunch's ready!" Mary screams out from the kitchen as Zack and Buddy, I mean, Adam and Buddy walk in the living room.
All three of us head for the kitchen. I walk close to Zack, Adam. whatever and ask:
"I'd like to have a look at my bike after lunch. Mary's told me you're pretty good at fixing things, if you have enough time maybe you could come with, you know, to see if it's fixable"
He looks at Buddy who immediately says:
"Yeah, no problem. Sam'll take care of you chores this afternoon"
"OK then" he says smirking.
Zack/Adam POV
OK, this is it, the moment I've been waiting for, ever since she's literally jumped off her bike and into my life. We're alone in the garage where her bike stands, looking pretty bad actually. I'm not sure it's fixable but that doesn't really matter.
Noah's leaning over what's left of it, frowning and even looking sad. I'm standing right beside her, actually, we're very close but it doesn't feel strange. It feels more like it's the way it's supposed to be. She turns around and her green eyes look up straight at me.
"Well, she looks pretty bad, doesn't she?" she tells me still looking at me.
"I'm afraid she does. I don't think she'll ever be as good as new" I answer.
"D'you think it's always that way? D'you think some things are never meant to come back the way they were?" she says lowering her voice.
I can't take my eyes away from hers, except maybe one-quarter of a second to look at her voluptuous lips.
"I guess so, but things can always get better. You don't know what your future's made of" I answer lowering my voice as well and coming even closer to her.
It's incredible. I don't even know her! We've been alone for something like fifteen minutes, I'm already about to kiss her. It's like we've both been waiting to have a moment to ourselves.
Her lips are warm and tender, just like her kiss. It feels familiar and so right, just like when I put my left hand in her curls and my right hand around her waist.
The kiss that had started off soft and smooth becomes a bit more passionate and stronger. I feel her breath accelerating and mine too. I don't remember ever feeling this. Well, it's really not a good reference since I don't remember much but still; it's so intense.
She pulls away a little, like to catch her breath and let's go a low, hushed whisper:
"Zack"
I open my eyes straight away and coldly say:
"No, I'm Adam. Excuse me, Buddy needs my help"
I walk towards the exit and something amazing happens. She ends up in the middle of my way in half a second. Something tells me she's not too normal either.
"Wait" she pleads.
"Who are you?" I ask her my brow raised.
"I told you, I'm Noah. The question is who are YOU?"
It's creepy to think some people could actually know more about you than yourself. I'd rather think she's bluffing.
"Look. I really gotta get to work"
"How could you not remember me?" she asks tears forming in her eyes, "You promised you'd be back. You said nothing could stop you from coming back to me, not even Manticore!"
She's crying for real now; she's not bluffing well, she doesn't seem to be. Manticore.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask her.
"You're Zack. You're X5 599 and I'm 396. We were created in a governmental secret lab, Manticore. We escaped in 09. You and some others tried to destroy Manticore because they kept chasing us, remember?"
"I think you need some rest," I say walking out of the grange.
"Zack. Don't you remember? There's not just me. There's Max and Syl and Krit, Jondy, Zane and Brin. Don't let us down. Don't you remember what they did to Jack, Eva and Tinga. You promised me you'd come back"
I leave the place and her behind. I'm both lost and confused. I don't whether or not I should believe her. Maybe it's a trick to make me admit that I'm... different. I've heard some federal agents are trying to get rid of all the transgenics. But why is all this happening to me? I was leading a nice calm and normal life. What would they want from me? What des she want from me? I'm not doing anything wrong. I don't even remember a thing.
She's crying still in there, saying my name, his name. Zack. I dunno whose name it is! I don't even know who I am anymore.
Buddy's POV
I've thought about it over night and Mary agrees with me. It's not luck that she's come out safe and sound of this collision. I wasn't driving a normal car, it was one hell of truck and I was going fast too. I saw the jump she made and you can't be propelled like that and just feel dizzy afterwards.
I thought about contacting Logan but he's probably got better things to do, besides he's the only one that knew about Adam, well; Max knew too. How could Noah have found him if not by them?
She was unmistakably looking for him. Why else would she have been there, in the middle of the road, staring at the field?
Besides the fact that we're really going to miss him, the question is do we still have the right to hide him his real identity? What if he's been missing to someone else? Noah, indeed.
There he comes. So soon? Wasn't he supposed to be with her? He looks weird, kinda stunned and not really here. Oh my god! He knows. Uncertain and uneasy, I walk to him, put my arm on his shoulder and drag him somewhere no one can here us.
"What did she tell you?" I pause, "She's told you, right?" I add stating the obvious.
"What are you talking about?" his eyes flicker.
"She's told you who you are" my voice seems like a whisper.
"You. She's telling the truth?"
"You knew you were different and it's obvious she ended up here for a reason" I sigh heavily.
"I'm a... transgenic," he says to himself, gazing at the air, "Zack... Is it my real name?" he asks me horrified.
I nod.
"I'm sorry, Adam. We didn't tell you because we wanted to protect you. We really care about you like our own son. We never wanted to lie to you" I justify myself.
"Why can't I remember anything? Why can't I remember her or who I am?" he asks even more panicked, "maybe I don't remember anything because there is nothing to remember. How do I know she's not lying?"
"I really don't think she is. And deep down inside, you know she isn't" I calmly say, coming closer to him and putting my hand on his shoulder.
He just steps back and won't let me touch him. He looks disgusted and furious.
"How do I know YOU're not lying?" he scowls.
I'm standing there, bewildered: I can't really say anything to make him change his mind, can I? The one I love like my own son looks at me like I'm the enemy. He has all the reasons to believe that I am. Through his eyes, I have betrayed him.
"Wait, Adam, wait I can explain" I manage to stammer but too late; he's gone.
My eyes only caught a blurry vision f him running away, he ran so fast.
Later.
"Mary? Mary? Is he here?" I scream out through the kitchen.
"No. He wasn't come back. I'm so worried. It's been several hours already," Mary says whipping a tear away with a napkin.
"I don't think he'll be back, well, not so soon" Noah says.
Right now, I hate her for coming into our lives like that and destroying everything. Although I know that I'm just as responsible as she is. But, if it hadn't been for her.
"He would've found out sooner or later, even if I hadn't come" she says as if she was reading my mind, "Transgenics are all over the damn place. We're a lot more than we used to be. The Manticore zoo's doors have been burst open"
She looks serious, determined and even cold. It's like she doesn't even care.
"My guess is the wood," she says coolly.
"How would you know?" I reply.
"I've known him ever since I was born" she barks back.
She slowly inspires, calms herself down and says:
"I'll go and look for him and don't tell anyone, especially not the cops, OK? The last thing we need is a couple of federal agents on our ass. If you love him, you'll do as I say"
Mary nods, silently crying. Noah puts on her leather jacket. I look straight at her and if I hadn't heard her a few minutes ago, I'd think she's worried.
"I didn't come all the way here to lose him again. I'll bring him back OK Mary?" she says trying to comfort my wife.
"But it's dark, you can't go all alone. At least take a flashlight." Mary proposes.
"Don't worry. My creators had planned on us doing night missions" she smirks.
She looks detached again. Her worried expression's only lasted a second but it was enough to reveal what she really felt. It made me feel more confident, I can only admire her self control. I don't care whether or not her cold and determined mask was on again, I know that she cares and that she'll do anything to bring back my boy.
"Call me if he ever shows up before I do. Last time he recovered part of his memory in a few hours. No one can know how long it'll take this time... if he ever does recover..." she sys gazing at the air.
Then, she shakes her head, like trying to get that thought out of her head and leaves the house, disappearing in the dark just as fast as he had.
Noah's POV
'I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are
Just like you are taking over me'
I would've taken my bike but it's completely smashed. He would've heard me come anyway. I'm quieter by foot but these woods are huge. My instinct tells me he has to be somewhere in there. If he really was as moved and lost as Buddy says he was, he couldn't have gone far. That night when we escaped, we hurried towards the woods, thinking only of taking cover in them. Basic instincts... So memory loss or not, an X5 never loses his basic instincts, I hope.
All my senses are aware as I'm walking through the woods. I should focus on Zack: seeing him, hearing him or smelling him, but my mind keeps wondering on its own.
That old grumpy crust. Not only did he smash my bike but he's also accusing me of taking away his boy! Zack's not his boy; he's my boyfriend! Besides Zack didn't run away after talking with me but after talking with him!
I've been walking for about an hour, making my way further into the dark woods, when finally I hear him. I hear his breath; it's loud, irregular and fast. I take a step further; he's on my right, sitting on the ground, his back against a tree, his head between his hands.
I don't think he's even heard me. He seems too lost in. himself. He's looking down, his blonde hair hiding his face. I come closer, kneel and gently put my hand on his arm. Not a smart move, I admit it. You don't surprise a killing machine with killing reflexes that way, especially when the guy's seriously disoriented!
Zack startles and violently puts his hands around my neck. He looks at me mean at first, then he mellows and whispers:
"Noah."
He lets go of me, tears running down his cheeks. He tries to hide them by putting his head back into his hands. There's something strange in the way he said my name. He said it like he used to, like on that morning he promised me he'd come back. Could it be that he's finally come back?
"Zack. Are you" I start asking.
"Noah... What happened to me? How did I...?" he asks his blue eyes expressing more turmoil than they had ever had before.
"I'm sorry... Tinga..." he says like remembering what had happened to her "I'm sorry" he endlessly repeats "Max... I couldn't let another one die because of me. I'm sorry. We had already lost Tinga. I'm so sorry" he stammers.
I feel a slight smile appear on my lips and tears running down my face.
"Zack, it's you, it's really you" I say hugging him, "It's all right, it wasn't your fault, I know what happened"
I feel this sensation of déjà vu. It reminds of that night in Phoenix, after Brin got captured. He was crying the same way in my arm and I'm whispering words of comfort to his ear as my tears are wetting his soft blonde hair. It doesn't feel the same though this time. I was sad for Brin, I'm happy for us. Tonight's completely different in that sense.
'I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me'
Zack's POV
We, Noah and I, have decided to hang a while with Buddy and Mary. Who can refuse a little X5 help in a ranch? We'll be moving soon though, to see the country a bit, check on the others, and maybe organize a little X5 reunion, why not? (It's Noah's idea!)
Noah. Where would I be without her? She's proved me once again that she could do just fine without my protection? In fact lately, I'm the one that's been needing help. Guess you can't always look out for the others. You have to let them look out for you too. I tried protecting my family the best I could, refusing help from those I was suppose to protect. I need to learn to give up my pride sometimes I guess.
I can't help thinking that maybe if I hadn't been so stubborn we could've saved Tinga. I'll feel guilty till the end of my days but at least she taught me something. You can't wear a mask forever and if we did escape, it was to find out what was outside.
Maybe outside isn't exactly perfect but it's beautiful in its own freakin' kinda way.
"You're missing to whole thing if you don't open up your heart a little Zack. You're only seeing the bad things of this world. Don't spoil your life, big bro." a wise little sister once told me and don't worry Ting, I don't intend to.
I'm going to get a nice and as normal as possible life and I'm not alone anymore. I've got my annoying little brat with me and she'll look out for me just like I'll look out for her.
Notes: Ta-da. The End. I know, I know, it probably would've made more sense with a sad ending, like Zack not wanting to go back to being a CO, or not wanting to remember Noah... But what can I say? I prefer happy endings...
There has to be a few things you liked and many things you disliked. Let me know. I don't mind long and detailed reviews so just click. Come on click! You know you want to.
For those that are interested, I intend to write a fic that would take place before 09, how did Sandeman and Lydecker ever come to collaborate and what were the relationships between all the X5s kids, reconstitute the whole unit, describe trainings and all... It's not written yet, so might have to wait a while but I'll be back, I love this too much... I also have at least two other idea of DA fic, one of them would be darker than what I've written until now. I'd like to describe a mentally unstable X5, inspired by Ben but only inspired... so lots of resources, only thing I need is time. I think I'll finish my first fanfic 'Third season' before starting anything though... I also have ideas about original fics... So we'll see.
Love ya. BO