Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures
Written by Artist1990
Based on "Tiny Toon Adventures" created by Tom Ruegger and produced by Warner Bros. Animation and Amblin
Based on the "Pokémon" Video Games by Nintendo & Game Freak and the Anime Series by OLM, Inc.
Other guest starring franchises belong to their respective owners.
Note: All Pokémon dialogue is translated.
(Insert New Version of "Tiny Toon Adventures" Theme Song)
(We see the Warner Bros. logo which zooms away and it transitions to the Tiny Toons circle.)
Buster: We're tiny . . .
(Buster appears.)
Babs: We're toony . . .
(Babs appears.)
Cast: We're all a little looney,
(The rest of the Tiny Toons cast join in. Mary Melody replaces Elmyra Duff.)
And in this cartoony,
we're invading your TV.
(The Tiny Toons run out of the TV.)
Buster and Babs: We're comic dispensers.
(Buster squirts himself with a seltzer bottle, while Babs hits herself with a pie.)
Fifi: We crahck up ahll ze censahrs.
(The censors are laughing)
Cast: On Tiny Toon Adventures,
(Fifi emerges from the TV smashes the screen with a mallet.)
get a dose of comedy!
(Buster is dressed as a doctor, while Babs and Fifi are dressed as nurses.)
So here's Acme Acres,
it's a whole wide world apart.
(We see a view of Acme Acres.)
Fifi: Our hahme sweet hahme, eet stahnds ahlahne,
a cahrtoon wahrk of ahrt!
(Fifi is making a painting of Minerva Mink in a sexy, revealing outfit. She's wearing a French barret.)
Plucky: The scripts were rejected,
(Plucky is operating a type writer.)
expect the unexpected.
(A second Plucky head emerges from the paper, scaring the real Plucky.)
Cast: On Tiny Toon Adventures, it's about to start!
(We see the Tiny Toon Adventures logo again.)
Plucky: They're furry,
They're funny.
(Buster and Babs Bunny appear.)
Cast: They're Babs and Buster Bunny.
(Buster and Babs take off their disguises, revealing that Buster is really Babs and Babs is really Buster.)
Bimbette Skunk has money.
(We see Bimbette Skunk sitting on a lawn chair, with some dollars in her hands. Behind her are a rack of some expensive dresses, a platinum limo and jewelry.)
Elmyra is a pain!
(Elmyra smiles at the audience, only to get pelted by some produce, showing how much the fandom hates her.)
Buster: Here's Hamton.
(Hamton is vacuuming his floor.)
Plucky: And Plucky!
(Plucky emerges from the vacuum.)
Babs: Fifi's very mushy!
(Fifi is kissing Lightning Rodriguez's face repeatedly. His eyes turn into pink hearts.)
Cast: Furrball's unlucky . . .
(Furrball is smelling a flower until a piano crushes him.)
and Gogo is insane.
(Gogo Dodo hits himself with a mallet, splitting him into more copies.)
Fifi: Aht Ahcme Looniverseety we earn our toon degree.
(We see Acme Looniversity.)
Ze teacheeng stahff's been getteeng laughs seence 1933!
(Fifi and the other students are gathered at class. The teachers present are Bugs Bunny, Pepé Le Pew, Speedy Gonzales and Yosemite Sam, posing. Sam is flattened by an anvil.)
Cast: We're tiny, we're toony, we're all a little looney,
(We see the cast of Tiny Toon Adventures)
It's Tiny Toon Adventures, come and join the fun!
(We see the logo again, but then, Fifi thrusts the words of 'Fifi's New' on top and joins Buster and Babs in the logo.)
Fifi: Ahnd now our sahng ees dahne!
Everybody Hates Nermal
Sweetie vs. Nermal
Furrball the Cat sat down at the lunch table in the park with his friends, Fifi La Fume, Calamity Coyote and Sylvester Jr. He was feeling troubled. Fifi was the first to notice. "Whaht's ze mahttair, Furrbahll?" asked Fifi.
"Elmyra and Sweetie bothering you again?" asked Sylvester Jr.
"It's not those two," said Furrball. Calamity held a sign that read, "What's on your mind?" "It seems that Elmyra has gotten a hold of Nermal," said Furrball. Calamity then held a sign saying, "Who's Nermal?" "He's this spoiled, selfish and unkind gray kitten who thinks he's the cutest kitten in the world. He'll put down anybody whom he thinks is trying to out-cute him. Fifi and I met him when he was trying to get Garfield and Odie kicked out of Jon Arbuckle's home for not respecting him. And Jon isn't even his owner. After we exposed him to the people of Muncie, he was to be locked in the pound. But from what I heard from his complaining, he tried to frame Fifi by dressing as her. But Elmyra ambushed him, thinking it was her. And even after he revealed he wasn't Fifi, Elmyra decided to adopt him anyway. And already, he's causing trouble by trying to put the other pets down," said Furrball.
"He steell hahsn't learned hees lessahn," said Fifi. Just then, Sweetie Bird flew into the area.
"And speaking of toons not learning, here comes Sweetie," said Sylvester Jr. unhappily.
"Aha! I caught you hanging out with Fifi. You know Elmyra doesn't want you and Fifi getting close to each other unless Fifi agrees to be her pet," said Sweetie.
"We're not spending romantic quality time now. We're just hanging out with friends," said Furrball.
"Oh yeah? What's to stop it from becoming mushy time?" asked Sweetie.
"We choose to know when's naht ze time fahr lahve," said Fifi.
"You better not tell Elmyra if you know what's good for you," said Sylvester Jr.
"The only way you can stop me is to eat me. You know you want to eat me, putty tat," said Sweetie.
"No," said Furrball.
"No?!" asked Sweetie.
"You heard me or are you deaf? I'm not hungry right now. As a matter of fact, I'm not hungry for birds in general. Birds are off my list! And unlike my mentor, I'm firm about! The only way to win against is to not play your games!" said Furrball.
"You're just saying that to trick me! Deep down, you know you want to eat me," taunted Sweetie.
"No I don't. And I'm not joking around. So go away," said Furrball. Suddenly, tears welled up in Sweetie's eyes.
"I never thought I'd see the day. What happened to the putty tat I used to know? Furrball!" cried Sweetie. She flew off crying. But then, she bumped into a tree. But she resumed crying as she flew away.
"Crocodile tears. That won't work," scoffed Furrball.
"Wait to go Furrbahll, stahndeeng up to Sweetie like zat. I'm so proud of you," said Fifi.
"So am I," said Sylvester Jr. Fifi, Sylvester Jr. amd Calamity then hugged Furrball, much to his happiness.
Sweetie started to drown her sorrows at an ice cream parlor. Tweety Bird happened to be at the parlor and saw Sweetie. "Sweetie, what are you doing here?" asked Tweety.
"What does it look like I'm doing. I'm drowning my sorrows," said Sweetie.
"What's the matter?" asked Tweety.
"It's Furrball. He refuses to chase after me," said Sweetie. Tweety's eyes widened when he heard that.
"Wait, hold on! This is why you're binging on ice cream? Why are you making a big deal about it?" asked Tweety.
"Cause I need a putty tat nemesis to outwit in order to pass your villain whooping classes. I don't understand why he won't chase me anymore. He's a putty tat, I'm a bird. Surely, he would try to eat me. Without a putty tat nemesis, I can't pass," said Sweetie.
"Look, Sweetie. You can't be dependent on Furrball to do these villain whooping classes," said Tweety.
"Why not? You and Sylvester are always seen together," said Sweetie.
"Not entirely true. We weren't always in the same cartoon," said Tweety.
"You weren't?" asked Sweetie.
"No. Our first cartoons, we weren't paired yet. I had to outwit several other putty tats before Sylvester. You should've paid more attention to the cartoon history classes. It wasn't until Fritz Freleng decided to pair us that we became a duo. Although, we were almost never a duo due to that party pooper of a producer, Edward Selzer thinking it wouldn't work. But after Fritz threatened to quit, Mr. Selzer gave in and thanks to our first pairing, 'Tweety Pie', Warner Bros. won its first Academy Award for a cartoon. If Furrball doesn't want to chase you, he doesn't want to chase you. So find a new putty tat nemesis," said Tweety.
"Well . . . Elmyra got this new putty tat named Nermal. He thinks he's the cutest animal in the world and has been trying to put all of Elmyra's pets down to make himself cuter, including me," said Sweetie.
"Then maybe you need to bring him down to size and teach him humility," said Tweety.
"Believe me, I will," said Sweetie, grinning maliciously.
Furrball was right about one thing, Nermal was causing trouble. Right now, he was bragging about his cuteness to Elmyra's other pets, much to their annoyance. "I'm the cutest kitten in the world. And none of you will ever be as cute as me," said Nermal. He turned to Johnny Pew. "What kind of a stinky skunk like you would dress up as a greaser?" asked Nermal.
"Don't you know who I am?! I am Johnny Pew, the famous movie star!" snarled Johnny.
"Well if you're a movie star, why are you a prisoner of Elmyra?" asked Nermal.
"It's because he chose a different skunkette over Fifi and she kicked him out of the theater and into Elmyra's arms," said Tyrone.
"You're also not cute since you're nothing but a slowpoke," said Nermal.
"Hey, that's no way to talk to my student!" said Cecil.
"You can't intimidate me since you're behind bars too," sneered Nermal. Nermal turned to two penguins, one was fat and the other thin. They escaped from the Bumblysburg Zoo, only to be caught and locked up by Elmyra as her newest pets. He began to criticize them too. "And you two, you're ugly in your own ways," said Nermal. First, he criticized the thin one. "You are not cute cause your way too skinny and scrawny," said Nermal. The thin penguin began to sob due to being insulted. Nermal turned to the fat penguin afterwards. "And you, fat isn't cute. Fat is ugly. Trust me I know, cause I used to live in the same neighborhood as that fat cat, Garfield," said Nermal. The fat penguin sobbed as well and he his buddy began to try to comfort each other.
"Hey, fat doesn't always mean ugly," said Charlie.
"Who asked you?! You're not cute cause you're a dog. You're just as ugly as Odie," said Nermal. Charlie looked he was about to cry too.
"If it we're for this cage, I'd tear you to pieces with my bare hands and teeth!" snarled Pug.
"Whoa. You're even uglier, you Pug," said Nermal.
"That's Lt. Pug to you, you soldier of the cat army!" said Pug. Nermal began to laugh.
"What do you think thus is, Vietnam?!" asked Nermal.
"No, but you're planning to help Furrball bring forth the great cat invasion!" said Pug.
"Why would I want to work with that second rate cat? He's the reason why everybody in Muncie now hate me!" said Nermal.
"You have no one to blame but yourself," said the Xenomorph unsympathetically.
"Eew. You're by far, the ugliest pet belonging to Elmyra. Why would want to keep something as hideous as . . . ," said Nermal. STAB! The Xenomorph thrust its spear tail at the ground near Nermal. Nermal shrieked loudly, backing away from the alien. It was at that moment that Sweetie flew into the pet room.
"The last person outside of the Duff family who got to close to Mr. Alien got skewered to death. So if you want to keep your nine lives, I suggest you shut your big mouth and abide to Elmyra's and my rules. Rule #1: You are not the cutest pet in the house. I am," said Sweetie.
"What?! How dare you say I'm not the cutest around!" said Nermal.
"Well it's true. Considering that Furrball scratched your face. That makeup won't make it go away. You better get in line if you want to survive," said Sweetie.
"Are you threatening me?!" asked Nermal angrily.
"In a way, yes. Not convinced my threat is not empty? Go into the Duffs' backyard and you'll see what I mean," said Sweetie.
"Fine. I'll humor you. But I think it's a waste of time," said Nermal. Nermal walked out to the backyard. When he got outside, his gray fur started to pale. He saw rows of small tombstones of the graves of Elmyra's dead pets. "What's going on?! What's with all these tombstones?!" asked Nermal.
"Those are the graves of Elmyra's dead pets," said Sweetie.
"Did you kill them?!" accused Nermal. Sweetie began to laugh.
"I didn't kill them. Elmyra did," said Sweetie.
"WHAT?!" asked Nermal.
"It's true. Elmyra has the mentality of a stupid three year old. She's too oblivious to the fact that they keep dying due to the abuse she inflicts on them. Wether it's because she's too rough or because of the scorching hot baths. I could go on," said Sweetie. Nermal let out a scream of absolute terror.
"I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" screamed Nermal. Without warning, Nermal felt himself getting seized by Elmyra Duff.
"Hi, kitty! Time for your bath. I want to you to be all clean before I show you to everybody in the city," said Elmyra. Nermal gulped nervously. Elmyra took Nermal to the bathroom and drew up a bath. And unfortunately for him, the water was scorching hot. He screamed as he felt the hot water burn at him.
"Are you trying to clean me or cook me?!" asked Nermal. Sweetie Bird giggled as she heard Nermal's torture. As Elmyra was cleaning Nermal, she saw the scratches on his face due to the makeup being washed off.
"Aawww. Kitty have a boo boo?" asked Elmyra.
"Your blue cat did this to me before I met you!" said Nermal. After getting cleaned, Elmyra dressed him in some clothes. When the gray kitten saw his reflection, he shrieked. For he was dressed like a baby, with a diaper and baby bonnet. "I look like a disaster!" cried Nermal.
"Nonsense. You look like the adorable kitty you should be," said Elmyra. She began to drag Nermal by the tail and unintentionally slamming him on the ground too.
"Help me guys!" cried Nermal to the other pets. But due to the way he bad mouthed them earlier, they outright refused. Some of them laughed at Nermal's misfortune. The first person that Elmyra decided to show Nermal off to was her crush and the rich school bully, Montana Max. He was at the Acme Acres Auto Mechanics overseeing the repairs of his limo ever since it was damaged by Harley Quinn's reckless driving weeks ago. It was taking a long time due to the amount of damage it received.
"Oh Monty!" calked Elmyra, in a sing song voice.
"Go away!" said Monty, not bothering to turn around.
"But I have a new pet that I want to show you," said Elmyra.
"It had better not be another wild animal. I haven't forgotten about when those hyenas you got attacked me!" said Monty. He turned around and saw Nermal. "Another cat?" asked Monty. He began to laugh at him due to being dressed like a baby. "He looks ridiculous!" said Monty.
"Is that any way to talk to me?! I'm Nermal, the cutest kitten around!" objected Nermal. But Montana Max continued laughing at him. Nermal growled in annoyance. Fifi La Fume was skipping home from the park, humming a sweet and romantic tune. But then, she heard Elmyra's voice.
"There you are, purple kitty witty!" said Elmyra. Fifi shrieked and cocked her tail, ready to spray Elmyra if she got too close. "Check out my new kitty," said Elmyra. She held Nermal in front of Fifi. Both Fifi and Nermal recognized each other.
"YOU!" cried both Fifi & Nermal.
"So whaht Furrbahll said ees true," said Fifi.
"You two know each other?" asked Elmyra.
"I weesh I deedn't. I met heem dureeng when my mahm ahnd I were staying aht Muncie," said Fifi.
"You're the reason I'm stuck with this animal killing witch!" cried Nermal.
"It's your own fault. You shouldn't have tried to get Garfield and Odie kicked out of their homes when Jon wasn't even your owner to begin with. And from what Furrball told me, you tried to frame moi, which is why Elmyra captured you. You have nobody to blame, but yourself," said Fifi.
"So, you jealous that I've got the cutest kitty I ever saw?" asked Elmyra.
"Hmph. Why would be jealous of tzat gray goon? Eef you keep heem, zere's telleeng eef he's tries to get your othair pets keecked out just so he'll be ze centair of ahttention," said Fifi, crossing her arms.
"But I don't want to be the center of Elmyra's attention! I wanna get out of here and get even with Garfield!" cried Nermal.
"He's such a joker," said Elmyra, hugging Nermal. Nermal groaned in annoyance. "I'll show Nermal to some other people," said Elmyra. And she began walk away, carrying Nermal. Fifi shook her head.
"She'll nevair learn," said Fifi. She then walked away toward her home. As Elmyra was flaunting Nermal around, he continued to get slammed on the ground by the tail too.
I know I wanted to show everybody how cute I am. But not like this, thought Nermal. Just then, he spotted Daffy's protégé, Plucky Duck talking to Buster Bunny, Bugs' protégé. Suddenly, Nermal burst free of Elmyra's grip and ran toward the two.
"Hey! Come back, kitty!" cried Elmyra. She ran after him. Nermal went up to Buster and Plucky.
"Please save me! Get me away from that crazy girl! She's tortu . . . !" cried Elmyra.
"Get away from me!" said Plucky as he kicked Nermal, sending him flying backwards. "Stupid cat," said Plucky. Nermal crashed to the ground.
"There you are. Don't run away from me like that again. It's not safe to be alone," said Elmyra, picking him up. When Elmyra and Nermal got back, the gray kitten started to complain to the other pets.
"This is an outrage! When Elmyra showed me to other people, they don't go fawning over my cuteness like they should. Instead, they greet me with hostility! This green duck even had the gall to kick me! What is wrong with them?!" complained Nermal.
"There's nothing wrong with them. But there's something wrong with you," sneered Sweetie.
"What?! What are you talking about?!" asked Nermal.
"You don't get it, do you? In Looney Tunes Land, cats are put in their place," said Sweetie.
"What do you mean?!" asked Nermal.
"People view cats as nothing but bird, fish and mice eating monsters. And that's why I'm the cutest pet, not you," said Sweetie.
"But I'm not a monster! I'm too cute!" objected Nermal.
"Not monstrous in appearance, but in behavior. But I think you're ugly, regardless," said Sweetie.
"That's because Furrball scratched my face!" said Nermal.
"Even if he didn't scratch you, I'd still consider you ugly," said Sweetie smugly. Nermal growled angrily.
"That does it! If you won't respect me and accept that I'm cuter, I'll make you! I'm gonna make an example out of you and show everybody that I'm the cute one and you're the ugly one!" said Nermal.
"Oh no. I'm so scared," said Sweetie mockingly.
"Oh you will be. You will be!" said Nermal.
The next day, Sweetie Bird sat in her bird cage, minding her own business. The Duffs were away for a family outing, hoping it'll get Elmyra to not think about Fifi. Furrball was at home too, taking a catnap. Nermal quietly crept up to the bird cage. He stood on a ladder to reach it. The gray cat then opened the cage and snatched Sweetie. "Now I got you!" said Nermal. But suddenly, without warning, Pug bit Nermal in the tail, causing him to scream in pain and drop Sweetie.
"Caught you in the act of trying to kill a troop, you mangy cat!" said Pug. But then, Nermal kicked Pug, sending him crashing into a wall and he fell unconscious.
"Stay out of this! This is between me and the pink rat with wings!" said Nermal. Sweetie, feeling insulted took out a mallet and slammed it on Nermal's head. He screamed as he got clonked. A big goose egg formed on Nermal's head. Sweetie laughed at Nermal after bonking him. Nermal got angry and charged at Sweetie. Sweetie began to fly away from Furrball.
"You can't catch me!" taunted Sweetie.
"Shut up!" said Nermal as he chased her. Nermal climbed up onto a counter to try to reach Sweetie. He leapt at her from the counter. But the gray cat missed and he landed on the floor with a SMACK! Nermal then grabbed a fly swatter. He began to swing it at Sweetie. But whenever Nermal missed, he would instead smash something like a lamp or a piece of pottery. Sweetie also threw some stuff at Nermal to try to hit him. But she missed too. One of the vases hit Pug just as he was regaining consciousness.
"Ouch!" cried Pug as he got bonked. So he fell unconscious again. Johnny Pew happened to be walking down the hallway. Sweetie flew in front of Johnny's face and stuck her tongue at Nermal. Nermal tried to swat Sweetie. But she dodged and Nermal hit Johnny in the face instead.
"OWIE!" cried Johnny. The impact left a red fly swatter mark on Johnny's face. He growled angrily due to what Nermal did. Nermal chased Sweetie into the kitchen. Thinking quickly, Sweetie grabbed a plate of blue jello and smeared it all over the kitchen floor. Nermal was so fixated on Sweetie that he didn't see the jello smear on the floor. Nermal began to slip on the floor, screaming. He crashed into the side of kitchen counter. This crash caused a jar to fall off and shatter upon impact with his head. Flour doused Nermal's fur. The gray kitten recovered upon hearing Sweetie laughing at him again. She was so busy laughing that she didn't see him sneaking up on her, until it was too late. Nermal snatched Sweetie and slammed her onto an open waffle iron. He then slammed the lid on Sweetie closing the waffle iron. Sweetie screamed as the waffle iron cooked her alive. There was a beep, signaling the cooking process was done. Nermal opened the lid, showing Sweetie had been flattened and cooked into a waffle bird. Sweetie looked at her reflection and screamed.
"I'm a living waffle!" cried Sweetie. Now it was Nermal's turn to laugh.
"Not so cute now, waffle bird!" sneered Nermal. And he continued laughing at her. But Nermal's triumph didn't last long. Sweetie angrily walked up to Nermal and she slammed him in the face with a frying pan. Nermal's teeth were shattered as a result. He began to stagger and fell onto the open oven door. Sweetie then slammed the oven door closed, trapping Nermal in the oven. "Hey! Let me out!" cried Nermal. Sweetie then turned the oven on to maximum temperature. Nermal screamed as he was getting baked alive. "I'm too cute to be baked alive! I don't taste good!" cried Nermal. After about ten minutes, the oven beeped, signaling the baking was finished. Sweetie opened the oven door and Nermal ran out screaming. The gray kitten was entirely engulfed in flames. "WATER! WATER! WATER!" screamed Nermal. Sweetie laughed at Nermal once again. But Nermal was running around the kitchen and flailing his arms so carelessly that some loose embers were sent toward certain areas. And they started to catch fire. One of the stray flames landed on Sweetie's tail feathers. She was so busy laughing that she didn't realize she was getting burned until she smelled the smoke. When she saw her tail feathers were on fire, she screamed too. The smoke detectors started to go off, waking Furrball from his catnap. When he saw the kitchen starting to catch fire, he shrieked. Thinking quickly, he grabbed the nearest fire extinguisher. The blue cat immediately began spraying foam everywhere there were flames, including on Nermal and Sweetie. Very soon, the flames were fully extinguished. Nermal and Sweetie were covered from head to toe in foam. Just at that moment, the Duffs had entered the house through the kitchen. Unfortunately for Elmyra, she slipped on the jello that was smeared on the kitchen floor and fell onto the ground. Elmyra laid there with a stupid dazed look on her face. Circling around her head were little Fifis chanting "Ooh la la".
"What the?!" cried Mrs. Duff. When she saw how messy the house was, Mrs. Duff screamed. "My house! My kitchen!" cried Mrs. Duff. When she recovered, Elmyra screamed too, but for a different reason. When the foam was removed, Nermal's fur was completely burned off, leaving him a naked kitten. And Sweetie's tail feathers were burned off, exposing her bare bottom.
"My kitty! My birdie!" cried Elmyra. Both Elmyra and her mother fainted, falling backwards.
"What happened? Who created this mess?" asked Mr. Duff. Both Nermal and Sweetie pointed at each other.
"He started it!" said Sweetie.
"You hit me with a mallet!" said Nermal.
"You tried to hit me with a fly swatter!" argued Sweetie.
"You threw vases and lamps at me!" said Nermal.
"You broke them too," said Sweetie.
"That crazy cat hit me in the face with the fly swatter," said Johnny as he put an ice pack on Pug's head.
"My head," groaned Pug.
"She smeared jello all over the floor to make me slip," said Nermal.
"You flattened me into a waffle!" said Sweetie.
"You tried to burn me alive in the oven!" argued Nermal.
"But it was your flames that nearly burned the house down," said Sweetie.
"But luckily it didn't since I put out the flames," said Furrball. Mr. Duff and Duncan glared at both Nermal and Sweetie.
"It seems to me that you are both responsible for this mess," scolded Mr. Duff.
"You could've not just burned down the whole house, but the other pets would've been burned with it too," said Duncan.
"Good. Cause that would ensure I remain the cutest," said Nermal.
"What was that?!" asked Duncan. Nermal gulped nervously, knowing he was in big trouble for saying that.
And so, as punishment for the destruction they caused, both Sweetie Bird and Nermal had to clean up the mess they made. They were both forced to wear maid outfits, much to Nermal's embarrassment and the other pets' amusement. As a reward for preventing the house from burning down, the Duncan cooked a delicious meal for Furrball. Sweetie fumed as she swept up the broken lamp and vase pieces. "This is humiliating. The cat is supposed to take 100% the blame for the destruction. This is against cartoon traditions," complained Sweetie. Nermal was scrubbing the kitchen floor. Charlie Dog wolf whistled at Nermal, before chuckling.
"This is outrage! I'm being punished like this! Being forced to clean like a maid! I'll avenge this humiliation if it's the last thing I do!" grumbled Nermal.
Mexican Stand Off
"Ooh la la! You play ze guitahr deevinely," said Fifi La Fume to Lightning Rodriguez. The two were once again on a date at the Mexican Restaurant they went to on their first date. And once again, the two were dressed in Mexican formal wear. Lightning was playing the guitar, while Fifi was doing flamenco dancing.
"Gracias. You look beautiful doing flamenco dancing. Especially when you use those clappers," said Lightning.
"Merci. Unteel I met you, I ahlways zought eet wahs streectly ze French zat were ze mahsters of lahve," said Fifi.
"Well if you grew up in Mexico, you would find that the Mexicans are just as capable of being pros at romance too, especially during festivals," said Lightning.
"Maybe I should ahttend one aht sahme point," said Fifi. After their date, Lightning walked Fifi home. Fifi picked up the teenage mouse. "I hahd fun tahnight, Lightneeng. Zank you fahr showeeng me a good time," said Fifi.
"Your welcome," said Lightning. Fifi then puckered her lipstick coated lips and began to deliver a really big kiss on Lightning's face. "Mmmmuah!" said Fifi as her lips came off of Lightning's face with a POP! The mouse's face was stained with a pink kiss mark due to Fifi being bigger than her. Lightning sighed with love and melted in Fifi's hands. Fifi giggled and shook him back to normal. She put her date down and skipped back into her house.
"What a woman," said Lightning.
But in another house, somebody was unhappy. It was Elmyra's pet cat, Nermal. He sat in his cage, fuming. "I still can't believe this is what I, Nermal, the cutest kitten in the world has been reduced to. In a cage, as a prisoner of a oblivious animal killing girl," grumbled Nermal. Just then, he began to hear Elmyra doing her own complaining. She was up in her room throwing darts at two dartboards that had the faces of Ash's Pikachu and Fifi's mother, Fleur on them.
"Stupid Pikachu! It's your fault that Fifi isn't my pet right now! It was a perfect plan! I had that stinky kitty in my grasp, unable to stink me out! But you had to butt in and ruin everything! Ever since then, nothing has gone right for me! People are laughing at me for being humiliated by you! And I got clobbered by you more times during that one summer and was hunted down like a criminal by some people!" said Elmyra. She turned to the dartboard that had Fleur's face and threw some darts at it. "And just when I thought things would finally go my way since Pikachu isn't present, you had to show up and make things harder for me! Fifi is mine! You have no right to take her away from me!" said Elmyra as she continued to throw darts. Nermal wasn't happy that Elmyra wanted Fifi to be her pet.
"Things are bad enough that I live with her along with Furrball, the cat who ruined my perfection. And now, she wants to adopt that stinky purple skunk as a pet too?!" asked Nermal. Then, his eyes widened as he began to let his thoughts get the better of him and run wild. "Oh no. What she forces me to date Fifi since she thinks she's a cat like me?! And worse, what if she makes me marry her!" cried Nermal. He then began to imagine himself being forced into a wedding ceremony with him and Fifi dressed in wedding clothes. "I refuse to live in the same house with her since she and several others ruined my life! Tomorrow, I'm gonna get rid of that purple pest once and for all!" said Nermal.
The next day, Fifi went to do some shopping at the Acme Acres Mall. Right now, Fifi was at the boutique, trying on various dresses. "No. Nuh-uh. Too peenk. Too red. Too gaudy. Naht gaudy enough. Naht enough bows. Too 80s," said Fifi as she tried on the various dresses. But soon, she managed to find a dress that suited her. It was a French, frilly blue dress that had ribbons and bows on them. "Ooh la la. Now ziss ees a dress," said Fifi. After paying for the dress, Fifi went to explore the other shops. Certain boys were swooning over her due to how beautiful she looked.
"She's so cute," said Boy #1.
"Wish she was my girlfriend," said Boy #2. Fifi giggled.
"Leettle boys ahre such cheeldren," said Fifi. Unfortunately, she was being spied on by Nermal.
"There's that stink pot. It's not fair that everybody views her as cute and not me. Time to teach her what happens to those who mess with Nermal. I'll show her that only I'm allowed to be cute," said Nermal. Nermal then began to trail after Fifi. But fortunately for Fifi, Lightning happened to be at the mall too.
"I've got to stop that pussycat before he does something terrible to Fifi," said Lightning. As Fifi walked, she hummed a sweet tune. She passed by a janitor mopping the floor.
"Bahnjour," said Fifi.
"Good day," said the janitor. Fifi resumed humming. Nermal was several yards behind Fifi.
"You're mine," said Nermal. But Lightning acted. He used his strength to knock down the mop bucket. Soapy water spilled on floor in Nermal's direction. Nermal screamed as he slipped on the wet floor. He crashed into a nearby hot dog cart, spilling hot dogs and condiments everywhere. Nermal was covered in ketchup, mustard, pickle relish and cheese from head to toe. He also had a hot dog lodged in each ear and buns were stuffed in his mouth. The hot dog vendor was not too happy to say the least.
"Pay up, cat," said the Vendor. Nermal spat out the buns.
"Uh, I don't have any money," said Nermal meekly. So, naturally, Nermal had to help sell hot dogs until he could for all the ruined stuff, much to his chagrin. Lightning snickered, seeing how Nermal was humiliated.
"That's what you get for trying to hurt Fifi," said Lightning.
The next day, Fifi went to Acme Looniversity with her friends. Nermal had snuck into the school to try to hurt Fifi. He decided to initiate a new approach. He decided to put a bomb in Fifi's locker. So that once she opens it, it'll explode, killing her. However, Lightning was onto him. After Nermal put the bomb in the locker, he left, confident it'll work. Once Nermal was far away, Lightning quickly and carefully removed the bomb and ran with it. Nermal hid behind a tree and saw Fifi approaching the locker. He sniggered and covered his ears and closed his eyes. But since Nermal wasn't lookng, that gave Lightning the opportunity to speedily taped the bomb onto his tail. Fifi opened the locker and nothing happened. Nermal's eyes widened when he heard no explosion.
"Where is boom?" asked Nermal. Nermal then heard the ticking of the bomb near him. Nermal yelped before, BOOM! The bomb exploded and Nermal was caught in the explosion. Fifi and the girls heard the explosion.
"Sahcrebleu! Whaht wahs zat explahsion?!" asked Fifi.
"I'm sure eet wahs nahtheeng, Fifi," said Anais.
"Le sigh. I guess you're right," said Fifi. The bomb's explosion left Nermal black as soot. He stood there, blinking like an idiot. Lightning saw everything and laughed.
"You wanted boom, you got it," said Lightning. After school, all the students left for home. Lightning followed Fifi in the shadows to ensure no harm comes to her until she reaches home. Now, Nermal was gonna try to kill Fifi by dropping a sixteen ton weight on her using a rope.
"I'll crush you into oblivion," said Nermal. But for the third time, Lightning was gonna stop him. As Fifi was approaching the spot where Nermal was gonna drop the weight, Lightning fired a special teleporter gin that would swap Fifi and Nermal's places. "Huh?" asked Nermal. The sixteen ton weight fell on Nermal, crushing him. Fifi heard the crash. She also realized she was not in the same spot she was. She just shoulder shrugged and left. Nermal managed to crawl out from under the weight. He was flat as a pancake. He managed to crawl to a nearby bicycle air pump and re-inflated him. "Why do these things keep happening to me?! Why do my plans to kill Fifi keep getting ruined?!" complained Nermal. He then began to hear Lightning laughing at him. He growled angrily. "You! You're the one who's been making a fool out of me!" cried Nermal. He tried to pounce Lightning, but he zipped away and Nermal ended up crashing to the ground.
"Too slow," said Lightning.
"Why did you keep ruining my attempts to kill Fifi! This doesn't concern you!" said Nermal.
"When somebody threatens my purple petunia, it does concern me," said Lightning.
"What the . . . ?! You have a crush on her?!" asked Nermal.
"Si. You mess with Fifi, you mess with me," said Lightning. And he zipped away. Nermal seethed with fury as his face turned red.
"Then I guess I'll have to kill this Mexican rat first!" grumbled Nermal.
So the next day, Nermal went to execute his first, pathetic attempt to catch and kill Lightning Rodriguez. He set up several mouse traps, baited with cheese. Nermal snickered. "One of these should nab him," said Nermal. He hid behind the bushes. Lightning was running done the path that the mouse traps were set. He managed to nab all the cheese without setting them. And his speed sent the traps flying and they snapped onto Nermal. Nermal stood there blinking before he jumped, screaming in pain. With the mouse trap attempt a failure, Nermal decided to do a different approach. He ordered an Acme Heat Seeking Missile Launcher. Nermal loaded the missile and waited for Lightning to run by. The Mexican mouse ran past where Nermal was. Nermal then fired the missile and it began to chase him.
"Arriba Arriba!" shouted Lightning as he tan faster. The missile continued to chase him.
"Run all you want, but you can't escape that heat seeking missile!" said Nermal, making himself known. Lightning got an idea. He zipped up to Nermal and jumped onto his head.
"Over here, you moronic missile!" said Lightning. The missile began to cruise right toward both Lightning and Nermal. Nermal's eyes widened in horror when he saw the incoming missile. Lightning dodged at the last minute and missile hit Nermal instead, resulting in a big explosion. Once again, Nermal's fur was blown off. The naked cat let out a cough before fainting backwards. Lightning giggled. "Serves you right," said Lightning.
After gluing his fur back on, Nermal decided to take a different approach. He ordered a large tortilla. "I'll disguise myself as an enchilada. And when he gets close enough, I'll nab him," said Nermal. He then concealed himself in the tortilla. Lightning saw the apparent large enchilada.
"Ooh. That's the biggest enchilada I ever saw. And what's a good enchilada without some hot sauce?" asked Lightning. He got out a bottle of hot sauce and began to squirt it into the burrito. Some of it squirted into Nermal's mouth. He then began to feel the spiciness of the sauce as his face turned red. Not only that, some of the drops was setting his fur on fire. He screamed real loud.
"Let me out of here! Water! I need water!" screamed Nermal. He jumped toward the nearest fountain. However, Lightning drained the fountain and Nermal crashed onto the concrete of the fountain, hurting his head. "Ow," groaned Nermal, before passing out. Nermal had his head bandaged. "Getting that mouse is harder than I thought. I'm gonna need help. I know, I'll get help from that green duck named Plucky," said Nermal.
"Absolutely not!" yelled Plucky.
"But you got to help me get rid of him!" said Nermal.
"My mentor, Daffy has been humiliated whenever he went against Lightning's mentor, Speedy Gonzales. I will not be put through the same Hell with this mouse!" said Plucky.
"But this could be your chance to avenge your mentor's humiliations," said Nermal.
"As tempting as it sounds, I'll pass. Cause the Daffy vs. Speedy cartoons were considered the worst Looney Tunes cartoons. And a series of Plucky vs. Lightning cartoons may get the same backlash! My decision is final and firm," said Plucky. Nermal growled in frustration.
"Fine. I'll do it myself! And one more thing, you're not cute! You're ugly compared to me!" said Nermal. He began to storm off.
"You're no supermodel yourself, Mr. Scarface!" retorted Plucky.
"S-s-scarface?!" asked Nermal. He let out a yell of frustration before leaving.
"Ugly indeed. I'll show you ugly," said Plucky quietly. He was already planning to get back at Nermal. After failing to convince Plucky to help him, Nermal began to search through Elmyra's stash of animal catching traps and gadgets.
"No, no, no! None of these traps are meant to kill! I don't need capture traps, I need death traps!" said Nermal. Just then, Nermal stumbled upon what appeared to be an old flash drive. "What's this? Might contain something useful," said Nermal. Later that night, when everybody in the Duff house was asleep, the naughty gray kitten inserted the flash drive into the computer. Once it was inserted, Nermal opened a folder marked "Mouser Robot Blueprints". He opened it and displayed the blueprints of the said robot. He also saw some clips of tests recorded by Baxter Stockman himself. When Nermal saw how the Mousers could kill rats, an ugly sneer appeared on his face. "Perfect! This is what I need to get rid of Lightning Rodriguez! And I can use it to get rid of Fifi too. In fact, after I eliminate those two, I'll use the Mousers to exterminate all the animals who dare try to overthrow me as the cutest animal in the world!" said Nermal. He let out a maniacal laugh, which actually didn't wake up everybody else.
The next night, Fifi and Lightning went on another date. This time, they were taking a romantic walk in the city. For tonight, Fifi was wearing a red dress and ruby red lipstick. "You know Fifi, in the past few days, I've made a new enemy," said Lightning.
"Ahnd who would zat be? I hahpe you deedn't peeck ahny fights weeth Plucky," said Fifi.
"No. It was Elmyra's pet cat, Nermal," said Lightning.
"Oh, zat selfeesh, nahrceesseesteec jerk. Ees he jealous of your cuteness?" asked Fifi.
"He was trying to kill you, saying you ruined his life. So after I foiled three different attempts on your life, he decided to go after me," said Lightning.
"Well eet's hees own fault zat he's een hees current seetuation. Furrbahll tahld me zat naht too lahng ahgo, he ahnd Sweetie bahth gaht een trouble fahr fighteeng ahnd trahsheeng ze house," said Fifi.
"I agree with you, Fifi," said Lightning.
"He wahs ahlways used to hahveeng sings given to heem on a seelvair plahttair. But now, he's learneeng a beeg lessahn een humeelity. Ahnd he hahs to play by our rules," said Fifi. Just then, the two began to hear a cracking sound.
"What was that?" asked Lightning. They soon got their answer. Some Mousers burst out of the ground. "Aye yai yai! What are those?!" asked Lightning.
"Zey're Mousair rahbots. Zey were oreeginahlly built by ze eenfahmous Dr. Bahxtair Stahckmahn to extermeenahte rahts. But zen, Elmyra built sahme of hair own to try to keell Ahsh's Peekahchu een ordair to remahve heem een trying to cahpture me," said Fifi. A Mouser tried to bite Lightning, but he zipped out of the way. He jumped onto Fifi's shoulder.
"I'll hahndle zem!" said Fifi. Fifi got out her mallet and smashed two Mousers to pieces.
"Who rebuilt them this time?" asked Lightning.
"That would be me," said a voice. It was Nermal. He was holding a remote control to control the Mousers.
"Nermal!" said Fifi & Lightning.
"That's right! It's me! I hate how people don't find me cute, but they find you and your friends cute instead! The only way I'll be able to reclaim my spot as #1 cutest animal is to kill everybody who dares try to overthrow me. Starting with you two!" said Nermal. A Mouser leapt at Fifi, but she whacked it back. The skunkette also pulled out of her breast cleavage a rolling pin too. Lightning got out a frying pan and club. The two toons began to smash up whatever Mousers that came them. But more kept coming.
"It's no use! No matter how many you destroy, I'll send more! Your two's deaths will be a warning to everybody that nobody is allowed to be cute but me!" said Nermal.
(Insert "Batman's Theme" from Batman the Animated Series)
"There's no law about that!" snarled an unpleasant voice. Nermal's smile faded due to how threatening the voice sounded. And then, something hit Nermal's hand, causing the remote control to fly out of his hand.
"Who did that?!" asked Nermal.
"I am the night! I am revenge!" said the voice. And then, revealing himself, was Batduck. "I am Batduck!" said Batduck. Nermal screamed at the sight of him. Nermal made a dash for the remote control. But Batduck leapt and kicked him, knocking him down. Fifi fired some of her stink, melting a whole bunch of Mousers into green goo. Nermal grabbed at the remote control, but so did Batduck.
"Let go!" said Nermal.
"No, you let go, ugly!" said Batduck.
"I am not ugly!" said Nermal. Fifi saw what was happening and she got an idea. She fired a well timed stink bullet. The stink bullet hit the remote control, melting it.
"Noooo!" cried Nermal. Without the remote, the Mousers all shut down and exploded. Lightning used his speed to get him and Fifi out of the explosions' path.
"Nice work, Fifi," said Lightning.
"Merci," said Fifi. Nermal growled at Batduck.
"You ruined everything!" snarled Nermal.
"I'm just doing my job of protecting the innocent," said Batduck. And getting even with you for not saying I'm cute, thought Batduck.
"Innocent? Innocent?! You call a purple skunk who ruined my life innocent?!" asked Nermal.
"From what I heard, you were a real jerk to Garfield and Odie. Fifi and her friends just exposed you for the ugly monster you are," said Batduck.
"I AM NOT UGLY!" screamed Nermal. He tried to attack Batduck, but Lightning threw a Mouser head at him, bonking him.
"Ow!" cried Nermal.
(End Music)
Nermal turned and growled at Lightning. Lightning charged at Nermal at full speed. Nermal decided to lie on the ground with his mouth open and swallow him as he charges. But that was a big mistake. As soon as Lightning went down Nermal's throat, he was actually dragging his cat foe across the ground from inside him. Nermal screamed as he was getting dragged. Fifi and Batduck cringed due to what was happening. After dragging Nermal for a minute, Lightning burst out of Nermal's butt. Lightning stopped running.
"Lightneeng, ahre you ahll right?" asked Fifi.
"I'm fine. Same thing can't be said about Nermal," said Lightning. After a couple of seconds, the pain in Nermal's butt kicked in. The gray kitten screamed in agony. He rolled onto his back and saw even more damage. The fur on his chest had been scraped off. He screamed even louder.
Nermal was taken to the vet by Duncan. When Duncan came out, carrying Nermal, the gray cat was in a very humiliating situation. He had to wear a diaper until his butt healed. Fifi and Lightning who were watching from a distance laughed. "That'll teach that cat not to try to kill us out of petty jealousy," said Lightning
. "Oui. Ahnd hees humeeliation eesn't going to end zere," said Fifi.
"What do you mean?" asked Lightning.
"Elmyra hahs recently becahme mahre obsessed weeth mahkeeng me hair pet. So eef she gets wahrd zat nermahl tried to keell me, she's gahnna be very mahd," said Fifi. Plucky Duck overheard what Fifi was saying and chuckled evilly.
"Time to play stool pigeon to really punish Nermal," said Plucky. He dialed the phone number of the Duffs. Duncan and Nermal arrived back to the Duff house.
"This is so humiliating. I have to wear this stupid diaper until my butt heals. And so far, everybody has been laughing at me. But at least this day is over," said Nermal.
"There you are, you bad kitty," said a mad voice. Nermal saw that it was Elmyra. And she didn't look happy.
"Green duckie told me you tried to kill the purple kitty I want as my pet! You must be punished for it!" snarled Elmyra. Nermal turned pale as a ghost before letting out a meek "Help."
Slappy vs. Nermal
"There. All done," said Slappy Squirrel, signing the last of the teacher and student registration forms. She along with her nephew, Skippy Squirrel were in Bugs Bunny's office in order to join Acme Looniversity as a teacher and student respectively.
"Welcome to Acme Looniversity, Slappy and Skippy Squirrels. I know you two will enjoy your time here," said Bugs.
"I look forward to it. Cartoons these days are too watered down. I need to show the new generation of how we did things in my time," said Slappy. Bugs chuckled.
"I agree with you on that," said Bugs. The next day, all the students gathered in class. "Students of Acme Looniversity. We have both a new teacher and a new student today. May I present, Slappy Squirrel and Skippy Squirrel," said Bugs. The two squirrels stepped into the classroom.
"Good morning, students," said Slappy.
"Good morning," said the students.
"I am your new teacher, Slappy. My nephew, Skippy will be joining you in class starting today," said Slappy.
"Hello," said Skippy, waving hello.
"Good thing Elmyra got transferred to Harvey Korman. Otherwise she'd try to force Skippy to be pet," whispered Saul to Fifi.
"Oui," said Fifi. Skippy sat down next to Buster.
"Welcome to Acme Looniversity, Skippy," said Buster.
"Thanks," said Skippy.
"Okay. Today's topic, I'm going to teach you about how slapstick was done in my time. Have you seen cartoons outside of Warner Bros. these days? They are inferior to the cartoons I starred in. The violence is watered down and they mostly focus on toilet humor instead of cartoon violence," said Slappy.
"I ahgree weeth you on zat, Prahfessahr Slahppy. I sahw ahn epeesahde of zat cahrtoon, SpahngeBeell SquareJeans zat mahde me, how you say, bahrf," said Fifi.
"The show's humor has become, like, unfunny ever since the original creator died," said Shirley.
"That's the humor that I want to steer you youngsters away from. I'm gonna teach you old school humor. How it should be done, unlike that stupid sponge," said Slappy.
"So what will you teach us?" asked Plucky.
"I'm gonna teach you kids more about prop dropping. And that includes anvils," said Slappy.
"Count me out of this class. I had my fill for an entire episode back in season one of the original Tiny Toons," said Plucky, clutching his head.
"Wuss," said Slappy. Slappy proved to be a very strict teacher in the prop dropping classes she taught. Some of the students were left with headaches from the props that were dropped on their heads.
Elsewhere, Elmyra's new pet cat, Nermal was walking down the street, trying to find somebody other than Elmyra who actually liked his cuteness. So far, he had no success due to the majority of the city's population hating cats. Not helping his case was that he still wore a diaper due to the injuries he got from Lightning Rodriguez. And people laughed at him everywhere he went. "Stupid, brain dead idiots. Don't they know cute when it's in their faces?! The world revolves around me and my cuteness! And these people are defying me!" said Nermal. Just then, he began to hear some people talking. He his behind some bushes and saw some Fifi and Anais talking.
"I steell cahn't believe ze Slahppy Squirrel ahnd hair nephew ahre aht Ahcme Loo," said Anais.
"Skeeppy's so cute. But too bahd he's ahlready tahken frahm whaht I heard. He hahs hees eye on a geerl squirrel," said Fifi. Nermal growled angrily.
"Now people are gushing over a squirrel?! An animal that's considered a pest?! I'll show everybody who's cuter!" said Nermal. He went to find Skippy. Nermal searched till he found Skippy talking to Buster and Babs.
"We'll be glad to hang out with you sometimes," said Babs.
"And we can teach our best Elmyra evading tricks too. Later," said Buster.
"Bye," said Skippy as the two bunnies left.
Now to put him down, thought Nermal. He then began to approach Nermal. Not knowing how much of a bully Nermal was, Skippy decided to greet the gray kitten.
"Hi there," said Skippy.
"Save me the formalities attention stealer!" snapped Nermal.
"Attention stealer? What are you talking about?" asked Skippy.
"Don't try to fool me! You're trying to steal my title as the cutest animal around! A title belonging to me, Nermal" said Nermal.
"I wouldn't do something like that," said Skippy.
"Liar! Squirrels are not meant to be cuter than cats! They're a plague to be wiped out due to infesting the trees, stealing nuts from them! Squirrels are the ugliest animals on the planet, with you being the ugliest!" said Nermal. Hearing all this made Skippy feel hurt. He began to run off crying. Nermal smiled, knowing he broke his spirit.
"If only putting the other toons down was that easy," said Nermal. When Skippy told Slappy and the girl squirrel he had a crush in about the harsh things Nermal said about squirrels, they were absolutely furious.
"That bad mouthed, jealous punk! How dare he says those things!" said Slappy.
"As we are squirrels too, we take offense to those insults! Somebody oughta teach him a lesson!" said Skippy's Girlfriend.
"And that somebody is going to be us," said Slappy.
Next day, Nermal walked down the street, feeling proud of himself after putting Skippy down. But he was so cocky, he didn't see Slappy sneaking up behind him. Once she got close enough, CLONK! She clonked Nermal on the head with her umbrella. "OW!" cried Nermal. A goose egg formed on his head. WHACK! She whacked him with her purse after that. She filled it with bricks so that it would really hurt. Nermal recovered and saw Slappy. Skippy's girlfriend was with her too. "What is your problem?!" asked Nermal.
"You! That's what! You said some very harsh things to my nephew!" scolded Slappy.
"What did he ever do to you?!" asked Skippy's Girlfriend.
"Trying to be cuter than me! That's what!" said Nermal. Skippy's Girlfriend then slapped Nermal in the face, leaving a red hand mark. "OW!" cried Nermal.
"You owe him an apology!" said Skippy's Girlfriend.
"I never apologize to anybody who dares to try to steal my spotlight as cutest animal ever! Not ever, never!" said Nermal defiantly. And he walked away.
"Just for that, your life is about to become a living Hell," said Slappy. Slappy and Skippy's Girlfriend trailed Nermal to the Acme Acres Park. Nermal was shooing away some cute looking birds.
"Get out of here! No cute animals that aren't me are allowed here!" said Nermal.
"He's a bigger bully than we thought," said Skippy's Girlfriend.
"Which is why we're going to break his haughtiness," said Slappy. After Nermal chased away the birds, the two squirrels made their move. She rolled what appeared to be ordinary acorns near Nermal.
"Huh?" asked Nermal. Suddenly, the acorns actually exploded. Nermal was caught in a fiery explosion. When the explosion subsided, Nermal was black as soot. Slappy a d Skippy's Girlfriend laughed.
"Exploding acorns. That's one humiliation down and several more to go," said Slappy. After that humiliation, Nermal went to buy a hot dog for lunch. Skippy's girlfriend did this next trick. She disguised herself as the hot dog vendor.
"One hot dog please," said Nermal.
"Coming right up," said Skippy's Girlfriend. But instead of putting a hot dog in the bun. She put a stick of dynamite in it. She added the ketchup, mustard and pickle relish. Once Nermal paid the money, Skippy's girlfriend gave him the hot dog and quickly left. As soon as Nermal took a bite out of the dynamite hot dog, BOOOOM! It exploded in his face. Once again, Nermal was black as soot. A lot of his teeth cracked and fell out of his mouth in pieces. Nermal screamed in pain. Slappy and Skippy's girlfriend laughed as they watched from the bushes. Nermal went to the dentist immediately to try to get his teeth fixed. Very soon, it was his turn. He saw in the chair. The dentist who was going to do his teeth had her back turned.
"So, why have you come today?" asked the Dentist.
"Some jerk hot dog vendor gave me a dynamite stick instead of a real hot dog. It blew up in my face and most of my teeth were damaged a d destroyed. I need to have my teeth fixed immediately so I can have my cute smile fixed!" cried Nermal.
"As you wish. But first, we're gonna have to give you anesthetic," said the dentist. The dentist then put a mask over Nermal so he could breathe the anesthetic. And very soon, he was sound asleep. The dentist took most of her disguise, revealing she was Slappy.
(Insert "Dentist Song", Instrumental from Little Shop of Horrors)
"Time to do some extreme dentist work," said Slappy. She sniggered as she got out a whole bunch of dentist tools. She then began to do something extreme to Nermal. About an hour or two later, Nermal started to wake up. Slappy had put her dentist disguise back on. "I see you're awake. Take a look at your new teeth," said Slappy. She took out a mirror so that the gray kitten could she his reflection. Nermal shrieked. Slappy did indeed put his teeth back in. But she also put a braces headset on him. A very uncomfortable one too.
"What have you done to me?!" asked Nermal.
"I fixed your teeth like you said I should," said Slappy.
"But I didn't ask for braces! Who do you think you are?!" asked Nermal.
"I'm not really a dentist. I'm really . . . ," said Slappy. She then threw off her dentist disguise. "Slappy the Squirrel!" said Slappy.
"Why did you do this to me?!" asked Nermal.
"You insulted my nephew and won't take back the insults. So, I have to punish you for it. See ya 'round, sucker and enjoy your new braces!" said Slappy. And she ran off laughing. Nermal growled angrily.
"You'll pay for this!" snarled Nermal.
(End Music)
Nermal began thinking of a plan to try to get back at Slappy. He decided to look up Slappy's history via a cartoon history book. As he was looking, he saw information he was looking for. He saw info about how she an arch nemesis in the form of Walter Wolf. "Ah-ha! Walter Wolf. He might be able to help me rid myself of those stupid squirrels," said Nermal. He dialed the phone number to the Acme Acres Toon Retirement Home. "Hello? Is this the Acme Acres Toon Retirement Home? I wish to speak to the one they call Walter Wolf," said Nermal. When Slappy and Skippy's Girlfriend told Skippy about how they punished Nermal, he was laughing.
"Serves him right," said Skippy.
"It sure did," said his girlfriend.
"That cat had to learn the hard way that you mess with squirrels, they go nuts," said Slappy. And the squirrels resumed laughing. Unbeknownst to the squirrels, Nermal was outside Slappy's tree along with Walter Wolf. Walter had some sort pf weird looking gun.
"This had better worth getting me out of the retirement home," said Walter.
"Don't worry. This will be our chance to get even with those squirrels," said Nermal. And to prove that I'm cuter than them, thought Nermal.
"You do realize this Insecticide Foam is for insects, not squirrels," said Walter.
"Well if it burn humans too, it can burn squirrels too," said Nermal.
"I hope you know what you are doing," said Walter. He stuck the nozzle of the foam gun through a small opening. Once he clicked the trigger, the gun began to squirt insecticide foam into the tree. Slappy, Skippy and his girlfriend were relaxing when they began to hear the noise of the foam being squirted.
"What's that noise?" asked Skippy.
"I don't know," said Skippy's Girlfriend. Suddenly, foam began to burst through the wall.
"Burning foam! Run for it!" said Slappy. Skippy and his girlfriend grabbed Slappy and began to run for the upper levels. Outside the tree, Nermal could see some of the foam began to pour out of the openings.
"It won't be long before the squirrels are exterminated," said Nermal. But unbeknownst to Nermal and Walter, the squirrels managed to get to the top of the tree safely.
"We made it," said Skippy.
"But where is that foam coming from?" asked Slappy.
"Look," said Skippy's Girlfriend, pointing down. The squirrels saw their two foes.
"How long is it going to take?" asked Nermal. Walter didn't reply. "How long is it going to take?!" asked Nermal. Still no answer. "Hey!" cried Nermal as he grabbed at Walter. Thus caused the foam gun to come out of the hole. It began to squirt insecticide foam right in Nermal's face. "Off! Turn it off!" cried Nermal as he got sprayed.
"It's stuck!" cried Walter.
"Turn it off!" cried Nermal. Walter turned off the foam gun, but not before Nermal's entire head was encased un foam. He let out muffled screams as the foam burned his head. Skippy and his girlfriend cringed.
"Now that's comedy!" said Slappy. She chuckled.
"I'm burning! Oh! Aah!" cried Nermal. Walter pulled at the hardening foam on Nermal's head.
"You should never interrupt an exterminator mid-foam!" scolded Walter.
"Get it off before it burns! Get it off me, you idiot! Get it off me! Oh!" cried Nermal. Walter finally ripped it off of Nermal's head. Walter tapped on the hardened foam cast of Nermal's head. Then, it split open, showing that it pulled off the fur on his head along with the braces headset and his teeth. Nermal got back up and Walter saw that the kitten's head was now furless and red from being burned. "My face! What have you done to my face?!" asked Nermal.
"Nothing. You look fine. In fact, you look years younger," fibbed Walter. Nermal grabbed a mirror and gasped. "Don't give in to it, kid," said Walter.
"The fur on my head! It's . . . it's . . . ," said Nermal.
"Gone, kid. But look on the bright side. At least you don't have to wear that stupid brace headset anymore," said Walter. Just then, the two heard sirens. A truck pulled off, which said EPA. Some EPA workers exited out and grabbed Nermal and Walter. "You two are under arrest!" said EPA #1.
"Who do you think you are?!" asked Nermal.
"EPA. Environmental Protection Agency," said EPA Agent #2.
"We got a call that you two were doing unauthorized use if an insecticide foam gun in a tree. Using it on trees is an environmental offense," said EPA Agent #3.
"But we were trying to exterminate some pesky squirrels," said Walter.
"Tell that the judge," said EPA Agent #2. The two EPA agents took Nermal and Walter away, much to the squirrels' delight. The Duffs bailed Nermal out, but that didn't mean he wasn't getting punished. They were mad about how Nermal hurt Skippy's feelings and damaged Slappy's tree. Duncan had him locked in his cage. The gray kitten had his head bandaged up. Duncan and the rest of the family turned to Elmyra.
"Elmyra, I'm beginning to think bringing home Nermal was a bad mistake," said Duncan.
"Why?" asked Elmyra.
"He's been nothing but trouble to everybody in our house and the other animals in the city. All our other pets have been complaining to me about how Nermal's been putting them down to make himself look cuter. And he's been picking fights with them and with the students who attended the school you used to go to," said Duncan.
"You remember how he tried to murder that purple skunk you're always trying to force to be your pet," said Mr. Duff.
"And even if you manage to make Fifi your pet, Nermal would just try to kill her again," said Amanda.
"Please don't make me give him away. He's too cute. I can make him behave," begged Elmyra.
"Okay. But we need to keep him on a short leash," said Mrs. Duff. In his cage, Nermal was sulking over his treatment in the last couple of days.
"Why?! Why is this happening to me?! I had respect! Love! But I don't have any of it in this stupid city! What did I do to deserve all of this?!" complained Nermal.
"My, oh my. How the mighty have fallen," taunted a voice behind Nermal. He turned around and saw that it was Garfield.
"Garfield?! You're here too?!" asked Nermal.
"I am here, but at the same time, I'm not," said Garfield.
"Why is this happening to me?!" asked Nermal.
"I'll tell you why? Because you refused to apologize for trying to get Odie and I permanently kicked out and take our places all because you hate your real owner. You never understood the abuse Jon put is through. And you thought your original owner was abusive. But now that you're stuck with Elmyra, you now know our pain and know what true abuse is. And it may kill you one day," taunted Garfield. That was when Nermal realized something.
"You knew. YOU KNEW ELMYRA KILLED SOME OF HER PETS!" screamed Nermal.
"Hey. Furrball was the one who told me about her and the abuse cats go through in Looney Tunes Land. It makes me glad I don't live there," said Garfield. Nermal let out an enraged yell and tried to scratch Garfield, but his paw fazed through as if Garfield was a ghost. Garfield laughed as Nermal repeatedly tried to attack him, but failed.
"Stop fazing and take my attacks like a man!" cried Nermal. Furrball and the other pets stared at Nermal. In reality, Nermal was talking to and attacking nothing. He was hallucinating Garfield as a sign of him growing insane.
"What's up with him?" asked Cecil. The Xenomorph alien just shrugged.
"When I get out of here, I'm gonna find you and kill you to prove I'm the cuter cat! Do you hear me?! I'M GONNA KILL YOU GARFIELD!" screamed Nermal as he continued to try to attack Garfield. Furrball shook his head.
"He is just a hopeless case," said Furrball.
THE END
(Insert "Tiny Toon Adventures" Ending Theme)
Gag Credits: Take notes cartoon studios. Especially you, Nickelodeon. That's how you do a proper torture episode cause Nermal did some bad things that earned him pain that he rightfully deserved.
Montana Max: Show's over. Scram!
Sneak Peek
On the next episode of "Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures", Minerva Mink stumbles upon a large egg during a little trek in the woods. The egg hatches into a cute baby animal. And that animal happens to be a baby Godzilla! Upon hatching, the little monster baby imprints Minerva as its mother. Minerva and Wilford try to keep the monster tot a secret from the public. Unfortunately, the baby Godzilla becomes the target of acquisition from several individuals; the pet obsessive Elmyra Duff, the psychotic alien titan; Gigan and Godzilla himself! Who will win the titanic battle to claim the baby Godzilla? And will the city of Acme Acres survive the destructive conflict? See all the monster mashing & city smashing action and comedy in "Adventures in Monster-sitting" on Fifi's New Tiny Toon Adventures.
I hope you Nermal haters enjoyed reading this new episode. As you read, Nermal has learned that in Acme Acres, he has zero respect due to being a cat and that everything isn't handed to him on a silver platter. As you saw in Mexican Stand Off, I did a little jab at the Speedy vs. Daffy cartoons, which were reviled by a lot of Looney Tune fans. That episode mentions a minor spoiler for future episodes of the Untold Story of Fifi's Vacation, which I'm still working on. Slappy is now a professor at Acme Looniversity and Skippy is a student. What Slappy says about today's cartoons is definitely true cause certain cartoons rely too much on toilet humor. The SpongeBob parody that Fifi mentioned will be seen in a later episode. As you read, in the next episode, Minerva Mink is the main character. And Godzilla will show up. It's the Monsterverse version since both Tiny Toons and the Monsterverse movies are made by Warner Bros. Gigan will have his Showa look, but is going to be completely organic at first. But a later episode, he'll be upgraded into a cyborg and gain the Final Wars look.