Disclaimer: yoru no naka ni is mine. Gravi and the songs named for 'song of the day', as usual, aren't mine.
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 9 - anonymous.
May 26th, 1996
Song of the day – Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls
It's been about two weeks since I've come back and started to record with K. He's been complimenting on my 'maturity', to put it lightly. He took me to one side and pointed his gun at me and then said, "Great job!"
I sighed in relief as soon as he left me in the room. I took my jacket while Emily and I drove to a restaurant downtown. As I was talking to her, I tried to look at her closely.
Still nothing.
When we parted, she kissed me on the cheek. I hugged her, but I couldn't kiss her back. I didn't know how she could put up with me.
Well, we got along well, but it didn't seem like people in love. We were just used to one another, you know what I mean?
I came home and opened the door to find the frame in front of me.
"I'm home," I smiled to myself as I poked at Tatsuha's picture, the same one I would put on my bed stand. I clasped onto Touma's second package.
It was a small brown envelope, but I sat on the hallway floor and ripped it open like a little kid. He gave me pictures of his wedding and there was even music sheets with the latest melody he had composed. I thought there was nothing left, but at the bottom of the envelope was a small wallet-sized picture of Tatusha in his school uniform. He looked so innocent as he gave a slight shy smile to the camera.
Touma had written another piece of paper: "Obviously, this is his school picture. I was going to send you the pictures of him from the wedding, but I think this one's appropriate for now. I asked him this time if there was anything he wanted to collect, he said he wanted the Kumagorou you had since you bring it everywhere. He wants to be Kumagorou."
I laughed to myself while shaking my head. "If he only knew…"
I looked at Kumagorou, whom I had placed in front of me. "I can't give you to him yet."
I continued to read: "But since he knows you won't be giving Kumagorou, he wishes there was a photo collection with interview questions. I think this is a great idea for advertisement for us. What do you think, Ryu-kun? - Touma"
"I hate it when you call me, Ryu-kun." I pouted to myself as I began to laugh. He only calls me that when his ears perk up to good business tactics.
I think that's why Nuriko, Touma, and I make such a great team.
I looked at the picture in front of me and looked at it lovingly.
"Your wish is my command."
--
June 24th, 1996
Song of the day: 1/3 no Junjou no Kanjou by Siam Shade
The magazine had been out for more than two weeks already, but they were delighted to strike a deal with Touma while I was still recording in Los Angeles. Touma was laughing on the phone when I called him that night to ask him to arrange for this to happen.
"I'm a bit jealous that you're going to all this trouble for him," he teased on the phone.
For him to admit this so bluntly made me laugh. I answered, "You had your chance. If only you made up your mine."
"Oh, that's low, Ryuichi," he replied with a tinge of seriousness. "You're one to talk."
"We're even, my dear Touma."
The next morning, he faxed all the questions I needed to answer. To tell you the truth, they were totally random. Or, they didn't follow a certain pattern. I looked at them thinking what the hell I had gotten myself into. I could just imagine what Touma was smirking at when I saw the last page.
He put a chibi of himself and his black hat. "Have fun because I'll be very amused later. Surprise me with something I don't know, k?"
Sometimes, I hated him.
So, as I sat on my dining room table with the sun streaming in through the glass doors, I frowned as I rolled my sleeves up. I patted my shorts and took a deep breath. Taking my pen up, I started to answer them one by one. I didn't know it would take so long, but when I finished, I blinked at the papers.
I definitely was better at writing than talking.
"Tatsuha should stop while he's ahead."
I sighed to myself and faxed it back to Touma while sending out an express package with a bunch of photos, both promotional and personal.
Question 1: Who is the artist you look up to the most?
Answer: I loved Shinya the best. He did a range of stuff from pop to rock. His lyrics were superb! You had a whole spectrum like a rainbow. Light to dark. Then, there's the in between stuff. He never as he seems. What I mean is that he can have such an upbeat song to have such depressing lyrics.
I have nothing but high regard for him.
Question 2: What is your favorite type of music?
Answer: I have to particular type that I like because I'll listen to almost everything. If it doesn't catch me the first time, you can probably guess I won't look for it. If it does, I'll be hunting for that cd before the end of the day.
Question 3: What's your favorite song to compose so far? Why?
Answer: Sleepless Beauty. I just love it from beginning to end. Plus, it was our debut song, so it's very lucky and special to me.
Question 4: Do you have a girlfriend?
Answer: Depends on how you ask me. ^_~
Question 5: Rumor has it that you created Kumagorou. Did you? And why?
Answer: Yes, I stitched Kumagorou together. I made him because I love stuff animals. He's soft and huggable!
Hmm…why? That's a secret.
Question 6: What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Answer: I don't get embarrassed easily, but it would have to be being caught in only a towel.
Question 7: What's your favorite color?
Answer: Um, red? It's flashy. It's dark and morbid. It's up to interpretation.
Question 8: What is your ideal girl?
Answer: To tell you the truth, I don't have an ideal girl or guy. It's embarrassing to say, but it doesn't matter to me what gender they are. I just want someone funny and huggable. Sounds like Kumagorou, huh? Oh yeah, someone who can put up with my singing all the time.
Question 9: What's the thing that your most of proud of right now?
Answer: Being able to come this far and getting fan letters! I read each of them and keep all the gifts. They always cheer me up whenever I'm in a slump. I don't know what Touma or Nuriko would say to this question though. They twitch whenever I smile and laugh reading them while we're recording.
Question 10: If someone were to join the 'biz, what would you suggest?
Answer: Know who you are and where you want to go. That's all that matters. Nothing's impossible in life. There are just obstacles along the way that make it seem that way.
Question 11: Your latest picture with Nittle Grasper has caused quite a stir. The one where you're kissing Seguchi-san on the cheek. What's your comment on this?
Answer: Touma's my best friend and so we're totally comfortable with stuff like that. I don't see what's the big deal. Maybe they're jealous? ^_~ Hell, I'd be jealous.
Question 12: Is there a question you've always wanted to ask your audience?
Answer: Why do you support our music? The lyrics, pictures, performance, what? I'm just curious. Anyone, myself included, can say 'I love your music!' But I want to know why.
--
As a bonus, I put in lyrics to the single that was going to be put out today. I wrote, "This is dedicated to my muse."
'Yoru no naka ni'
sung by Sakuma Ryuichi
I hold my breath
Inside the tears of the sea
Slashing until I bleed
But I can't even say I love you to your face.
Long sleepless nights, I spent them without you
Starving for your breath
I resolved to saying 'I love you'
To a photograph
You think that I've got everything
But there's one thing you have to now
When I sigh,
That's even for you.
Every wink and every smile,
You don't know that
I give them to the public
When I'm actually
Thinking of you.
I hold my breath
Inside the tears of the sea
Slashing until I bleed
But I can't even say I love you to your face.
I keep on thinking
What you want from me.
From this torn soul
Whose wings are bleeding?
I can't look away
Whenever you're near.
I just start to lose my cool,
Thinking this may be only a dream.
Unfortunately, it is.
If you could read my lips
If you could read my thoughts
You'd see that I've been
Hiding behind a mask.
The more I get closer to you
The more I push myself away.
If you see the real me,
Would you want it?
Send me far away,
Exile is much better
If I can't touch you
When you're in front of me.
If you could read my tears
If you could read my smiles
You'd see that I've always
Hidden behind confidence.
The more you get closer to me
The more you seem far away.
Would you still love me,
Even if I'm not free?
Long sleepless nights, I spend them without you
Starving for your touch
I kiss 'I love you'
To a picture of you
Thinking that's you.
Desparately pretending you're real.
(Only in the night.
Only in my dreams.)
July 9th, 1996
Song of the day: Hesitation by Hayashibara Megumi
I got back to Japan to find so many letters addressed to me. I didn't think that I'd get such a huge response for that interview. But, before I read anything, I opened the folder that Touma had personally given me when I visited his office as soon as I got off the airplane.
He told me that you had answered this question as well. Touma winked at me while shaking his head as soon as I glomped him, almost dropping Kumagorou. As I left, he winked at me and said, "Be ready tomorrow morning for the production meeting. Oh, and don't thank me. You should thank Eiri this time."
I nodded as I left.
I put my stuff down in the hallway and turned on the other lights within the apartment. Opening the balcony door, I opened the folder and read the small paper enclosed.
"Dear Sakuma Ryuichi-san,
You asked about why people listen to your music. I cannot speak for all the people, but for myself, I just like it. I like the feel, the lyrics, and the way you sing. But most of all, it is honest.
It is weird to explain this, but even if you take away your voice and the lyrics with them, I would still be able to recognize that it is your song. Maybe it is because it is your style, but it is more than that.
I have listened enough to know I'm addicted.
What I am trying to say is that I listen because I can feel it.
If it's raining and you're sad, I can tell. If you're smiling, your voice shows it.
You do not want to make things sell because they sound good. They sound good because you reach hearts without aiming for them. Sincerely and honestly.
Thank you.
-Anonymous."
I smiled as I went inside with the letter in my hands. I picked up the phone called Eiri, but when Tatsuha answered, tears began to form in my eyes.
"Hello?"
You couldn't have imagined how I felt at that moment when you answered the phone, Tatsuha…
I voice acted and said my real family as the phone was given to Eiri. "Thank you," I said and with that, he answered, "No problem."
We said goodbye and I stared at the phone with blurry eyes.
I can't look into your eyes, Tatsuha,
But even as I stand here, so far away from you,
I feel everything while holding my breath.
How will I ever survive like this?
Tsuzuku…
--
author's note: I have to say "1/3" is my absolute favorite Kenshin song!
This chapter was supposed to be a little bit longer, but it would have been too much if I wrote more for today.
Yoru no naki ni – in the night.
kikoeru ka? (can you hear me?)
(prequel to the Nagareboshi series)
by miyamoto yui
Chapter 9 - anonymous.
May 26th, 1996
Song of the day – Black Balloon by Goo Goo Dolls
It's been about two weeks since I've come back and started to record with K. He's been complimenting on my 'maturity', to put it lightly. He took me to one side and pointed his gun at me and then said, "Great job!"
I sighed in relief as soon as he left me in the room. I took my jacket while Emily and I drove to a restaurant downtown. As I was talking to her, I tried to look at her closely.
Still nothing.
When we parted, she kissed me on the cheek. I hugged her, but I couldn't kiss her back. I didn't know how she could put up with me.
Well, we got along well, but it didn't seem like people in love. We were just used to one another, you know what I mean?
I came home and opened the door to find the frame in front of me.
"I'm home," I smiled to myself as I poked at Tatsuha's picture, the same one I would put on my bed stand. I clasped onto Touma's second package.
It was a small brown envelope, but I sat on the hallway floor and ripped it open like a little kid. He gave me pictures of his wedding and there was even music sheets with the latest melody he had composed. I thought there was nothing left, but at the bottom of the envelope was a small wallet-sized picture of Tatusha in his school uniform. He looked so innocent as he gave a slight shy smile to the camera.
Touma had written another piece of paper: "Obviously, this is his school picture. I was going to send you the pictures of him from the wedding, but I think this one's appropriate for now. I asked him this time if there was anything he wanted to collect, he said he wanted the Kumagorou you had since you bring it everywhere. He wants to be Kumagorou."
I laughed to myself while shaking my head. "If he only knew…"
I looked at Kumagorou, whom I had placed in front of me. "I can't give you to him yet."
I continued to read: "But since he knows you won't be giving Kumagorou, he wishes there was a photo collection with interview questions. I think this is a great idea for advertisement for us. What do you think, Ryu-kun? - Touma"
"I hate it when you call me, Ryu-kun." I pouted to myself as I began to laugh. He only calls me that when his ears perk up to good business tactics.
I think that's why Nuriko, Touma, and I make such a great team.
I looked at the picture in front of me and looked at it lovingly.
"Your wish is my command."
--
June 24th, 1996
Song of the day: 1/3 no Junjou no Kanjou by Siam Shade
The magazine had been out for more than two weeks already, but they were delighted to strike a deal with Touma while I was still recording in Los Angeles. Touma was laughing on the phone when I called him that night to ask him to arrange for this to happen.
"I'm a bit jealous that you're going to all this trouble for him," he teased on the phone.
For him to admit this so bluntly made me laugh. I answered, "You had your chance. If only you made up your mine."
"Oh, that's low, Ryuichi," he replied with a tinge of seriousness. "You're one to talk."
"We're even, my dear Touma."
The next morning, he faxed all the questions I needed to answer. To tell you the truth, they were totally random. Or, they didn't follow a certain pattern. I looked at them thinking what the hell I had gotten myself into. I could just imagine what Touma was smirking at when I saw the last page.
He put a chibi of himself and his black hat. "Have fun because I'll be very amused later. Surprise me with something I don't know, k?"
Sometimes, I hated him.
So, as I sat on my dining room table with the sun streaming in through the glass doors, I frowned as I rolled my sleeves up. I patted my shorts and took a deep breath. Taking my pen up, I started to answer them one by one. I didn't know it would take so long, but when I finished, I blinked at the papers.
I definitely was better at writing than talking.
"Tatsuha should stop while he's ahead."
I sighed to myself and faxed it back to Touma while sending out an express package with a bunch of photos, both promotional and personal.
Question 1: Who is the artist you look up to the most?
Answer: I loved Shinya the best. He did a range of stuff from pop to rock. His lyrics were superb! You had a whole spectrum like a rainbow. Light to dark. Then, there's the in between stuff. He never as he seems. What I mean is that he can have such an upbeat song to have such depressing lyrics.
I have nothing but high regard for him.
Question 2: What is your favorite type of music?
Answer: I have to particular type that I like because I'll listen to almost everything. If it doesn't catch me the first time, you can probably guess I won't look for it. If it does, I'll be hunting for that cd before the end of the day.
Question 3: What's your favorite song to compose so far? Why?
Answer: Sleepless Beauty. I just love it from beginning to end. Plus, it was our debut song, so it's very lucky and special to me.
Question 4: Do you have a girlfriend?
Answer: Depends on how you ask me. ^_~
Question 5: Rumor has it that you created Kumagorou. Did you? And why?
Answer: Yes, I stitched Kumagorou together. I made him because I love stuff animals. He's soft and huggable!
Hmm…why? That's a secret.
Question 6: What is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
Answer: I don't get embarrassed easily, but it would have to be being caught in only a towel.
Question 7: What's your favorite color?
Answer: Um, red? It's flashy. It's dark and morbid. It's up to interpretation.
Question 8: What is your ideal girl?
Answer: To tell you the truth, I don't have an ideal girl or guy. It's embarrassing to say, but it doesn't matter to me what gender they are. I just want someone funny and huggable. Sounds like Kumagorou, huh? Oh yeah, someone who can put up with my singing all the time.
Question 9: What's the thing that your most of proud of right now?
Answer: Being able to come this far and getting fan letters! I read each of them and keep all the gifts. They always cheer me up whenever I'm in a slump. I don't know what Touma or Nuriko would say to this question though. They twitch whenever I smile and laugh reading them while we're recording.
Question 10: If someone were to join the 'biz, what would you suggest?
Answer: Know who you are and where you want to go. That's all that matters. Nothing's impossible in life. There are just obstacles along the way that make it seem that way.
Question 11: Your latest picture with Nittle Grasper has caused quite a stir. The one where you're kissing Seguchi-san on the cheek. What's your comment on this?
Answer: Touma's my best friend and so we're totally comfortable with stuff like that. I don't see what's the big deal. Maybe they're jealous? ^_~ Hell, I'd be jealous.
Question 12: Is there a question you've always wanted to ask your audience?
Answer: Why do you support our music? The lyrics, pictures, performance, what? I'm just curious. Anyone, myself included, can say 'I love your music!' But I want to know why.
--
As a bonus, I put in lyrics to the single that was going to be put out today. I wrote, "This is dedicated to my muse."
'Yoru no naka ni'
sung by Sakuma Ryuichi
I hold my breath
Inside the tears of the sea
Slashing until I bleed
But I can't even say I love you to your face.
Long sleepless nights, I spent them without you
Starving for your breath
I resolved to saying 'I love you'
To a photograph
You think that I've got everything
But there's one thing you have to now
When I sigh,
That's even for you.
Every wink and every smile,
You don't know that
I give them to the public
When I'm actually
Thinking of you.
I hold my breath
Inside the tears of the sea
Slashing until I bleed
But I can't even say I love you to your face.
I keep on thinking
What you want from me.
From this torn soul
Whose wings are bleeding?
I can't look away
Whenever you're near.
I just start to lose my cool,
Thinking this may be only a dream.
Unfortunately, it is.
If you could read my lips
If you could read my thoughts
You'd see that I've been
Hiding behind a mask.
The more I get closer to you
The more I push myself away.
If you see the real me,
Would you want it?
Send me far away,
Exile is much better
If I can't touch you
When you're in front of me.
If you could read my tears
If you could read my smiles
You'd see that I've always
Hidden behind confidence.
The more you get closer to me
The more you seem far away.
Would you still love me,
Even if I'm not free?
Long sleepless nights, I spend them without you
Starving for your touch
I kiss 'I love you'
To a picture of you
Thinking that's you.
Desparately pretending you're real.
(Only in the night.
Only in my dreams.)
July 9th, 1996
Song of the day: Hesitation by Hayashibara Megumi
I got back to Japan to find so many letters addressed to me. I didn't think that I'd get such a huge response for that interview. But, before I read anything, I opened the folder that Touma had personally given me when I visited his office as soon as I got off the airplane.
He told me that you had answered this question as well. Touma winked at me while shaking his head as soon as I glomped him, almost dropping Kumagorou. As I left, he winked at me and said, "Be ready tomorrow morning for the production meeting. Oh, and don't thank me. You should thank Eiri this time."
I nodded as I left.
I put my stuff down in the hallway and turned on the other lights within the apartment. Opening the balcony door, I opened the folder and read the small paper enclosed.
"Dear Sakuma Ryuichi-san,
You asked about why people listen to your music. I cannot speak for all the people, but for myself, I just like it. I like the feel, the lyrics, and the way you sing. But most of all, it is honest.
It is weird to explain this, but even if you take away your voice and the lyrics with them, I would still be able to recognize that it is your song. Maybe it is because it is your style, but it is more than that.
I have listened enough to know I'm addicted.
What I am trying to say is that I listen because I can feel it.
If it's raining and you're sad, I can tell. If you're smiling, your voice shows it.
You do not want to make things sell because they sound good. They sound good because you reach hearts without aiming for them. Sincerely and honestly.
Thank you.
-Anonymous."
I smiled as I went inside with the letter in my hands. I picked up the phone called Eiri, but when Tatsuha answered, tears began to form in my eyes.
"Hello?"
You couldn't have imagined how I felt at that moment when you answered the phone, Tatsuha…
I voice acted and said my real family as the phone was given to Eiri. "Thank you," I said and with that, he answered, "No problem."
We said goodbye and I stared at the phone with blurry eyes.
I can't look into your eyes, Tatsuha,
But even as I stand here, so far away from you,
I feel everything while holding my breath.
How will I ever survive like this?
Tsuzuku…
--
author's note: I have to say "1/3" is my absolute favorite Kenshin song!
This chapter was supposed to be a little bit longer, but it would have been too much if I wrote more for today.
Yoru no naki ni – in the night.