8/26/03-Another scene, and now things start to get interesting... [sadistic grin] Kurt runs into someone he'd rather...not have run into. I play Kurt, and Bridgie plays an absolutely spectacular Logan! And before we get started, thanks for the reviews guys! Good to hear people are having fun ^_^. Now for your daily dose of Todd/Kurtness, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Closest-thing-to-bishounen-America's-got Kurt and the lovely and amazing Toad-Boy belong to Marvel, the I think WB, and probably bunches of other wonderful peoples. So do anyone else mentioned herein. We don't own them, we're just kleptos who intend no harm and will return them when we're done. Please dun hurt us.
SLASH DISCLAIMER: This...is...SLASH. Ever seen Boy Meets Boy? That's what this is, only in this case it's Elf meets Toad, with plenty of other pairings probably thrown in in the near future. If the thought of boys loving boys (and kissing boys and touching boys etc. etc.) makes you make little sicky noises, you probably want to go somewhere else.
Feedback: Thoroughly glomped.
Flames: Treated with the same loving care you'd expect from one Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. P.S. For those unfamiliar with him, the name should give you some clue as to what kind of care that is.
Because I Got High
-Scene 2-
Kurt waits until the wall is well out of sight, well out of ear-shot, before teleporting. Seconds later he 'bamfs' into existence in the institute's entrance hall. The building's quiet; he can hear a TV playing in the background, muffled voices, and nothing else. He's starving, heads towards the kitchen, but some of the voices get louder, laughter and talk echoing down the hall. Contact with anyone in the institute is the last thing he wants right now; sighing, he heads instead towards his room, too worn out and frustrated to 'port there.
The halls are twice as long as usual, giving him far too much time for contemplation as he walks in the dim light. Panic chases fear chases longing around in his brain. Already, the events of the past hour or so are starting to feel surreal, as if a dream (nightmare?). Things he could've said, should've said, plague him, but not as much as the last Todd had to say. His throat feels tight again. He pauses in his reverie, finds himself outside the bathroom, and notices for the first time the state he's in. His jeans are covered in grass stains, his fur is matted with sweat (and something far more noticeable), his hand is still sticky, with a few creamy patches left on the sides, and he swears there's probably twigs stuck in his hair. His nose wrinkles. All he wants to do is sleep, but at the risk of running into anyone in the morning, on the way to the shower...
With the students populating either end of the mansion, Logan occupies the den in solitude, slumped on the couch as he stares intently at the crackling fire before him, the only source of light in the room. He sits still, shadows dancing along the contours of his face, when suddenly a familiar odor mingled with something more foreign jars him from his thoughts, and he stands, claws extending instinctively.
Slowly, he makes his way to the door and pushes it open without making a single sound, a skill perfected long ago. He prowls into the hallway, eyes narrowed and focused, ready to attack if need be, when his gaze falls upon a familiar figure at the other end of the corridor. Immediately, he stands up straight, claws detracted, face etched with curiosity and a hint of suspicion. "Kurt?"
Kurt freezes at the sound, his mind paralysed with fear. 'Oh God, not him, anyone but him...' He fights the urge to teleport and turns; suspicions confirmed, he stumbles back a step, hands held placatingly out before him.
Logan doesn't advance. He crosses his arms and takes in Kurt's disordered appearance: the grass stains, the disheveled and matted fur, the leaves and lord-knows-what-else inhabiting messy blue hair--the kid looks like he's either been in one mean brawl or.. something else. It's then that the foreign odor becomes more clear, more recognizable (and dear lord, more potent); it's one of the Brotherhood kids, he knows. The small one with the hygiene problem. But why..? "What the hell happened to you?" he asks, but his question is already answered when he sees the other stains adorning Kurt's jeans. Jaw tightens, fists curl, but otherwise, his countenance doesn't change; he wants to see what the kid says.
"I...uh..." Kurt melts into the shadows, unintentionally, instinct taking over. Blood pounds in his ears, his brain seems to have frozen, and his heart's skipped more beats than is healthy. Logan knows, he can feel it deep in the ice settling in his gut. The central air suddenly comes on, and Kurt catches a whiff of the air that surrounds him. 'Mein Gott...' Swallowing hard, he tries to speak, not knowing what he intends to say but knowing silence would only implicate him further. "I, um, got into...a fight. Yeah. I ran into Todd-TOAD, at the...uh...the gas station, I felt like making a candy run before dinner and, uh..." he averts his eyes, stares instead at the toothbrushes in their cup on the sink. 'There's no way he's going to buy that!' his mind screams at him, but all he can do is choke back the whimpers that want to escape.
Logan merely quirks an eyebrow. All right, he'll play this game. "The gas station on Seventh and Grand?"
Kurt closes his eyes, breaths deep. "Yeah, that's the one. I...I had a major craving for some Almond Joy...all I could find was Goobers, though." His tongue trips over the word 'Goobers', and he nearly moans at how lame the whole thing sounds.
Logan says, "Right. And where did the grass stains come from, again..?"
'Beg for forgiveness, plead the fifth, anything, just do something!' his brain screams at him. He wonders if Xavier can hear it, thinks it would be a miracle if he couldn't, with how loud it sounded in his own head. Excuses race through his mind, not a single one he can use, and he finds himself grasping at them randomly in his panic. "They came from, uh, the park! I went to the park, you know, to eat the candy, and Todd-TOAD, er, Toad was there, he wanted to pick a fight..."
Logan closes his eyes and sighs forcefully, brow furrowed, head shaking with distaste at the blatant lies spewing from the kid's mouth. Running a palm over his face, he sighs again, disappointed gaze falling on Kurt once more before he reaches for the door to the den and holds it open, looking at the student expectantly.
Kurt's heart drops, landing somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. 'Oh god...' Bile rises at the back of his throat, and he fights back a frustrated cry. After everything that'd happened that night, THIS just has to be heaped on top of it. Possible outcomes flash across his vision, most ending with him on the street or in a pine box; the expression on Logan's face seems to promise the latter. Steeling himself, Kurt enters the den, feeling Logan's eyes piercing his back as he walks in, and dreading the sound of the door closing behind him.
Logan follows, shutting the door harder than necessary. "Sit," he barks, gesturing to the couch.
Kurt winces at the door slamming, as if it were his death knell. Which, very likely, it is. He sits gingerly on the couch, vaguely noticing the mess his pants make on the upholstery.
Logan makes his way around the couch and stops in front of Kurt, heavy footsteps pounding in the otherwise silent room (save for random crackles from the fireplace). Heaving another sigh, he sits on the table, falling into his usual slouch. The rank odor of sex (/and pot? Would he..?/) emanating from the boy attacks his senses, and that coupled with his dirty appearance is enough to make Logan shudder involuntarily. Why would Kurt take part in such things? With an ENEMY..? And TOAD, of all mutants! He thought the boy was much brighter than that. Determined to get to the bottom of this, his eyes seek out Kurt's, his gaze hard, his voice even harder. "What. Happened." he growls. A command, not a question.
Kurt's already fried nerves finally give, just long enough for him to snap, "You seem to have a pretty good idea already, I don't know why you need me to fill in the details." The second the words leave his mouth he freezes, eyes bulging in fear. His hand flies to cover his mouth instinctively, and he steals a terrified glance at Logan.
Logan is momentarily taken aback at Kurt's tone, but quickly shakes it off and glares at the boy before him. "Because the details are the important part, kid," he spits. "The why and the how. Now," he growls, enveloping Kurt's forearms in a firm grip, making sure the boy stays focused on him. "You can either tell me what the hell is going on or I can call Charles in here to pull it out of your mind! This isn't something I can brush off as teenage antics, Kurt." His grip loosens somewhat, but his gaze remains intense. "It's your call, bub."
Blood rushes to Kurt's face. The rough hands squeezing his arms send a jolt of fear through his body, compounding the waves that were already there. He feels trapped, hunted into a corner (which makes sense considering who he's dealing with). All he wants to do is 'port to safety, but he knows there's no place he could be safe from Wolverine. He wonders over Wolverine's threat about the Professor, questions whether Xavier would violate his mind like that, and realizes he doesn't know the answer. For the first time he truly sees what his actions mean, how much of a threat can be implied by even the simplest of contact with a member of the Brotherhood. Whether Todd WOULD take advantage of...whatever might come of it...is beyond the point. That he could, that's the issue. Kurt suddenly feels sick.
Logan looks at the boy expectantly, awaiting a response. "Well?" he asks. "What's it going to be, Kurt?"
Kurt can't meet Logan's gaze. His voice sounds hollow to his own ears, and if emotion could kill, he'd probably be dead the minute he opens his mouth. "I...I ran into Todd, at dinnertime. He'd snuck onto the grounds, but he didn't seem like he meant any harm. He showed me some stuff he'd taken, asked me to help him get out. He was really confused...I led him to the wall. I figured he wasn't doing any harm, I couldn't just try to beat him up for no reason!" His voice raises in tone. Somehow it seems desperately important that Logan understands Todd's innocence. Well, innocence for the most part, anyway.
Logan's brow arches worryingly at the mention of "stuff." It was obvious to him that Toad, the slimeball, had been high and the "stuff" in question was clearly weed. The only question still unanswered was whether or not Kurt had smoked any.. not that Logan was, by any means, pure in that regard, but to be fraternizing in such ways with the enemy..? Jesus, it would be like him and Sabretooth sharing a bong in an alley somewhere: it just. doesn't. happen. And the way Kurt is trying to defend the Toad--that's what worried Logan the most.
Logan's expression isn't doing anything to soothe Kurt's nerves. It's almost a minute before he works up the strength to continue, and when he does his voice is even weaker than before. "When we got to the wall things started getting...weird. Todd...Toad, he..." he rubs his face roughly with his clean hand, ruffling his hair in the process, and growls. "He started saying things. I should've left then...I didn't. We...we kissed...things kind of escalated from there." He gazes at Logan again, still somehow more nervous for Todd than for himself. "We promised we wouldn't talk about it..." a tear finds its way down his dirty cheek, and he wipes it away angrily. "I gave him my word."
Logan's gaze lingers for a while, letting the information sink in. Heaving a long, drawn out sigh, he removes his hands from Kurt's arms and closes his eyes, applying pressure to the bridge of his nose. So many situations could arise from this, and none of the ones he thought of had very positive outcomes. "How far did you go," he suddenly blurts out, hoping Kurt understands the reason behind the question. Toad was eons from being the epitome of personal hygiene; who knows if he's disease-ridden? Logan can't help but feel ill at the thought.
Kurt's face flushes furiously, unnoticed under his fur, and his stomach turns to a lump of steel. Logan has to be the last person in the world he'd want to have this conversation with, and yet there's no way out of it. He fights back more frustrated tears. "We...we did a lot of," he chokes, coughs, "...a lot of touching. A lot. We didn't go...we didn't..." he can't finish the sentence, can only pray Logan gets the point. That inconceivable protective impulse takes him again. He holds his back a little straighter, wipes his cheeks with his filthy sleeve. "He didn't make me do anything...anything I didn't want to."
Logan pats Kurt's grass-stained, denim-clad knee, nodding, eyes still closed. "Okay.. okay," he says, almost at a loss for words. He never imagined he'd have to have a conversation like this with someone.. in fact, he had hoped he'd never need to. Discomfort is weighing heavy on him, sensing from Kurt that the feeling is definitely mutual.. but these things have to be said. If the way Kurt was talking is any hint, then the boy is probably emotionally attached to..TODD..in some way, though Logan hopes his assumption is wrong. If it's not.. the repercussions of their actions would more than likely cause a lot of problems. This is DEFINITELY. Not. Good. Once again, he grabs Kurt by the arms and forces him to make eye contact. "It's not going to happen again, right, Elf?"
Logan's eyes are boring into him, allowing no argument. His pride bucks at the command inherent in the words. He scowls, and looks at the fire. "Not if Todd has anything to say about it."
Jaw tightened, Logan shakes Kurt in an attempt to bring the boy's focus back to him. He shakes a little rougher than intended, but offers no apology. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?"
Kurt's jarred by the sudden aggression. For a moment he forgets where he is and who he's talking to. "Jeez, chill dude. Ow!" He wishes he could rub the kinks out of his neck but Logan's grip is tight and as unyielding as the man himself. "It means Toad didn't seem exactly pleased with our actions, once we'd done them." His voice drips bitterness, and the words are acid on his tongue.
Logan's grip loosens, eyes soften, but still no apology is given. "And you?" he wonders, brows raised curiously.
Kurt doesn't answer, can't answer; he's not even sure of the answer himself, but the majority of the possibilities he knows Logan doesn't want to hear. This time he meets Logan's gaze, holds it, knowing he'll probably be ripped apart for it.
Logan has reached the end of his patience. With a feral growl, he stands up and starts pacing the den, his voice ripping through the air like a sonic boom, heedless of whether or not anyone else in the mansion can hear him. "So what, Kurt, you mess around with someone for a bit and suddenly you have feelings for them?!" He's not waiting for an answer. "There's a difference between lust and love, Elf! I thought you were smarter than this.. Do you honestly think he'll even REMEMBER what happened let alone start thinking about you any differently? Do you?! He was as high as a kite! Jesus.." He sits on the table again, though this time, he's on the other side, his back to Kurt. One hand is balled on his knee, the knuckles white; the other hand busy massaging his temples.
Kurt's shock at the outburst wears off quickly as Logan's words sink in. He yells at Logan's back, "You weren't there, damn it! Don't think you can tell me what did and didn't happen! I'm no child Logan, I know what I'm doing!" Which he doesn't, really, but that's beyond the point. He jumps up, crosses the room to stand before the older, much more intimidating man. "You don't even have the slighest idea; do you know what I feel, Logan?! Fear. I'm afraid this," he gestures at himself, from pointed ears to catlike feet, "is going to keep me isolated. Forever. Nobody ever even wants to look at me, what are the odds there's someone that actually...that wants to..." With a scream of frustration he throws his hands in the air, then slumps back down on the sofa, unconsciously mimicking Logan's pose.
Logan sighs, his muscles relaxing. He feels for the kid, he truly does, but not for one smidgen of a second does he believe Kurt knows what he's doing. "You're young," he says, as if that alone explains everything. "I know I can't identify with what you're going through now, but Kurt, Todd is not your answer, believe me. Think about it.." He glances over his shoulder, eyes pleading. "Really think about the kind of impact this could have, associating with Mystique's team. They always have an agenda, you KNOW that, and who's to say you won't end up being used? Do you want that?"
"My loving mother is the one with the agendas," Kurt mutters, followed by a half-hearted curse. The uncharacteristic anger has faded somewhat, leaving him cold and frustrated. "They're probably just tools for her, anyway."
Logan stands up and joins Kurt on the couch, trying to make eye contact. "Maybe they are, bub," he says, masking his internal disagreement. "But their loyalties--HIS loyalties lie with her, not with us.. not with you. Like I said, he's not your answer."
"I didn't say he was!" Kurt shouts in Logan's face. He's sick of being told the one thing he doesn't want to hear, over and over again, and uncertain as to why that one thing hurts so much worse each time. "You're saying he shouldn't even be given a chance? I thought that was part of what we're fighting for, the right to repent. You wouldn't even offer him that?!"
Logan shakes his head. "First of all, Charles already gave the kid a chance to join our side, and where did he end up? With Mystique, Kurt. That was his choice. Secondly," He looks at the boy pointedly, his expression laced with concern and--most of all--ardent solemnity, allowing little room for protest. "Think about how you'll feel next time you have to fight him." He allows a moment for the thought to sink in before continuing, "I know it'll be hard, Elf, but it's probably best that you try and forget what happened. Toad ain't the only one who's ever gonna--" /How do I put this..?/ "--pay that kind of attention to you."
Kurt wants to argue, but can't. Everything Logan's saying makes sense, it's all what his more rational side has been trying to tell him all along. But emotions and common sense are two very different things. No amount of talk can change the thoughts that are storming through his mind, laying to waste some of his most crucial beliefs. But he doesn't have the strength to fight anymore, and from the look on Logan's face, there's no way he could win, were he to try. Defeated, he buries his face in his hands, not caring anymore how dirty they are; his whole body feels dirty right now, not to mention his mind.
Logan tentatively places a (hopefully) soothing hand on the small of Kurt's back, unsure of what else can be said at this point. The kid has him worried, that's a given, but he's also starting to understand the pain he must be going through--having been ridiculed and feared your whole life just because of the way you look definitely justifies the concern and dread Kurt feels regarding that type of physical contact.. yet there are a lot of people in the world who can overlook appearances (/hell, a whole mess of them are right here in the Institute/), but to try and tell that to a distraught teenager..? Logan knows such an attempt is futile. The only thing he can do is hope that Kurt makes the right decision. "I know I can't control you, bub, and only YOU can decide what's right for you, but.. just promise me you'll think about what I said."
Kurt nods, not trusting his voice anymore. He shies away from Logan's hand, though. He knows it's meant to be comforting, but in the aftermath of the night's events the thought of any sort of physical contact makes him cringe, heightens the longing still burning in his chest. He stands up, crossing the room towards the door. "We done?"
Logan sighs. "Yeah," he says, voice betraying his concern. "Yeah, we're done."
Disclaimer: Closest-thing-to-bishounen-America's-got Kurt and the lovely and amazing Toad-Boy belong to Marvel, the I think WB, and probably bunches of other wonderful peoples. So do anyone else mentioned herein. We don't own them, we're just kleptos who intend no harm and will return them when we're done. Please dun hurt us.
SLASH DISCLAIMER: This...is...SLASH. Ever seen Boy Meets Boy? That's what this is, only in this case it's Elf meets Toad, with plenty of other pairings probably thrown in in the near future. If the thought of boys loving boys (and kissing boys and touching boys etc. etc.) makes you make little sicky noises, you probably want to go somewhere else.
Feedback: Thoroughly glomped.
Flames: Treated with the same loving care you'd expect from one Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. P.S. For those unfamiliar with him, the name should give you some clue as to what kind of care that is.
Because I Got High
-Scene 2-
Kurt waits until the wall is well out of sight, well out of ear-shot, before teleporting. Seconds later he 'bamfs' into existence in the institute's entrance hall. The building's quiet; he can hear a TV playing in the background, muffled voices, and nothing else. He's starving, heads towards the kitchen, but some of the voices get louder, laughter and talk echoing down the hall. Contact with anyone in the institute is the last thing he wants right now; sighing, he heads instead towards his room, too worn out and frustrated to 'port there.
The halls are twice as long as usual, giving him far too much time for contemplation as he walks in the dim light. Panic chases fear chases longing around in his brain. Already, the events of the past hour or so are starting to feel surreal, as if a dream (nightmare?). Things he could've said, should've said, plague him, but not as much as the last Todd had to say. His throat feels tight again. He pauses in his reverie, finds himself outside the bathroom, and notices for the first time the state he's in. His jeans are covered in grass stains, his fur is matted with sweat (and something far more noticeable), his hand is still sticky, with a few creamy patches left on the sides, and he swears there's probably twigs stuck in his hair. His nose wrinkles. All he wants to do is sleep, but at the risk of running into anyone in the morning, on the way to the shower...
With the students populating either end of the mansion, Logan occupies the den in solitude, slumped on the couch as he stares intently at the crackling fire before him, the only source of light in the room. He sits still, shadows dancing along the contours of his face, when suddenly a familiar odor mingled with something more foreign jars him from his thoughts, and he stands, claws extending instinctively.
Slowly, he makes his way to the door and pushes it open without making a single sound, a skill perfected long ago. He prowls into the hallway, eyes narrowed and focused, ready to attack if need be, when his gaze falls upon a familiar figure at the other end of the corridor. Immediately, he stands up straight, claws detracted, face etched with curiosity and a hint of suspicion. "Kurt?"
Kurt freezes at the sound, his mind paralysed with fear. 'Oh God, not him, anyone but him...' He fights the urge to teleport and turns; suspicions confirmed, he stumbles back a step, hands held placatingly out before him.
Logan doesn't advance. He crosses his arms and takes in Kurt's disordered appearance: the grass stains, the disheveled and matted fur, the leaves and lord-knows-what-else inhabiting messy blue hair--the kid looks like he's either been in one mean brawl or.. something else. It's then that the foreign odor becomes more clear, more recognizable (and dear lord, more potent); it's one of the Brotherhood kids, he knows. The small one with the hygiene problem. But why..? "What the hell happened to you?" he asks, but his question is already answered when he sees the other stains adorning Kurt's jeans. Jaw tightens, fists curl, but otherwise, his countenance doesn't change; he wants to see what the kid says.
"I...uh..." Kurt melts into the shadows, unintentionally, instinct taking over. Blood pounds in his ears, his brain seems to have frozen, and his heart's skipped more beats than is healthy. Logan knows, he can feel it deep in the ice settling in his gut. The central air suddenly comes on, and Kurt catches a whiff of the air that surrounds him. 'Mein Gott...' Swallowing hard, he tries to speak, not knowing what he intends to say but knowing silence would only implicate him further. "I, um, got into...a fight. Yeah. I ran into Todd-TOAD, at the...uh...the gas station, I felt like making a candy run before dinner and, uh..." he averts his eyes, stares instead at the toothbrushes in their cup on the sink. 'There's no way he's going to buy that!' his mind screams at him, but all he can do is choke back the whimpers that want to escape.
Logan merely quirks an eyebrow. All right, he'll play this game. "The gas station on Seventh and Grand?"
Kurt closes his eyes, breaths deep. "Yeah, that's the one. I...I had a major craving for some Almond Joy...all I could find was Goobers, though." His tongue trips over the word 'Goobers', and he nearly moans at how lame the whole thing sounds.
Logan says, "Right. And where did the grass stains come from, again..?"
'Beg for forgiveness, plead the fifth, anything, just do something!' his brain screams at him. He wonders if Xavier can hear it, thinks it would be a miracle if he couldn't, with how loud it sounded in his own head. Excuses race through his mind, not a single one he can use, and he finds himself grasping at them randomly in his panic. "They came from, uh, the park! I went to the park, you know, to eat the candy, and Todd-TOAD, er, Toad was there, he wanted to pick a fight..."
Logan closes his eyes and sighs forcefully, brow furrowed, head shaking with distaste at the blatant lies spewing from the kid's mouth. Running a palm over his face, he sighs again, disappointed gaze falling on Kurt once more before he reaches for the door to the den and holds it open, looking at the student expectantly.
Kurt's heart drops, landing somewhere in the vicinity of his shoes. 'Oh god...' Bile rises at the back of his throat, and he fights back a frustrated cry. After everything that'd happened that night, THIS just has to be heaped on top of it. Possible outcomes flash across his vision, most ending with him on the street or in a pine box; the expression on Logan's face seems to promise the latter. Steeling himself, Kurt enters the den, feeling Logan's eyes piercing his back as he walks in, and dreading the sound of the door closing behind him.
Logan follows, shutting the door harder than necessary. "Sit," he barks, gesturing to the couch.
Kurt winces at the door slamming, as if it were his death knell. Which, very likely, it is. He sits gingerly on the couch, vaguely noticing the mess his pants make on the upholstery.
Logan makes his way around the couch and stops in front of Kurt, heavy footsteps pounding in the otherwise silent room (save for random crackles from the fireplace). Heaving another sigh, he sits on the table, falling into his usual slouch. The rank odor of sex (/and pot? Would he..?/) emanating from the boy attacks his senses, and that coupled with his dirty appearance is enough to make Logan shudder involuntarily. Why would Kurt take part in such things? With an ENEMY..? And TOAD, of all mutants! He thought the boy was much brighter than that. Determined to get to the bottom of this, his eyes seek out Kurt's, his gaze hard, his voice even harder. "What. Happened." he growls. A command, not a question.
Kurt's already fried nerves finally give, just long enough for him to snap, "You seem to have a pretty good idea already, I don't know why you need me to fill in the details." The second the words leave his mouth he freezes, eyes bulging in fear. His hand flies to cover his mouth instinctively, and he steals a terrified glance at Logan.
Logan is momentarily taken aback at Kurt's tone, but quickly shakes it off and glares at the boy before him. "Because the details are the important part, kid," he spits. "The why and the how. Now," he growls, enveloping Kurt's forearms in a firm grip, making sure the boy stays focused on him. "You can either tell me what the hell is going on or I can call Charles in here to pull it out of your mind! This isn't something I can brush off as teenage antics, Kurt." His grip loosens somewhat, but his gaze remains intense. "It's your call, bub."
Blood rushes to Kurt's face. The rough hands squeezing his arms send a jolt of fear through his body, compounding the waves that were already there. He feels trapped, hunted into a corner (which makes sense considering who he's dealing with). All he wants to do is 'port to safety, but he knows there's no place he could be safe from Wolverine. He wonders over Wolverine's threat about the Professor, questions whether Xavier would violate his mind like that, and realizes he doesn't know the answer. For the first time he truly sees what his actions mean, how much of a threat can be implied by even the simplest of contact with a member of the Brotherhood. Whether Todd WOULD take advantage of...whatever might come of it...is beyond the point. That he could, that's the issue. Kurt suddenly feels sick.
Logan looks at the boy expectantly, awaiting a response. "Well?" he asks. "What's it going to be, Kurt?"
Kurt can't meet Logan's gaze. His voice sounds hollow to his own ears, and if emotion could kill, he'd probably be dead the minute he opens his mouth. "I...I ran into Todd, at dinnertime. He'd snuck onto the grounds, but he didn't seem like he meant any harm. He showed me some stuff he'd taken, asked me to help him get out. He was really confused...I led him to the wall. I figured he wasn't doing any harm, I couldn't just try to beat him up for no reason!" His voice raises in tone. Somehow it seems desperately important that Logan understands Todd's innocence. Well, innocence for the most part, anyway.
Logan's brow arches worryingly at the mention of "stuff." It was obvious to him that Toad, the slimeball, had been high and the "stuff" in question was clearly weed. The only question still unanswered was whether or not Kurt had smoked any.. not that Logan was, by any means, pure in that regard, but to be fraternizing in such ways with the enemy..? Jesus, it would be like him and Sabretooth sharing a bong in an alley somewhere: it just. doesn't. happen. And the way Kurt is trying to defend the Toad--that's what worried Logan the most.
Logan's expression isn't doing anything to soothe Kurt's nerves. It's almost a minute before he works up the strength to continue, and when he does his voice is even weaker than before. "When we got to the wall things started getting...weird. Todd...Toad, he..." he rubs his face roughly with his clean hand, ruffling his hair in the process, and growls. "He started saying things. I should've left then...I didn't. We...we kissed...things kind of escalated from there." He gazes at Logan again, still somehow more nervous for Todd than for himself. "We promised we wouldn't talk about it..." a tear finds its way down his dirty cheek, and he wipes it away angrily. "I gave him my word."
Logan's gaze lingers for a while, letting the information sink in. Heaving a long, drawn out sigh, he removes his hands from Kurt's arms and closes his eyes, applying pressure to the bridge of his nose. So many situations could arise from this, and none of the ones he thought of had very positive outcomes. "How far did you go," he suddenly blurts out, hoping Kurt understands the reason behind the question. Toad was eons from being the epitome of personal hygiene; who knows if he's disease-ridden? Logan can't help but feel ill at the thought.
Kurt's face flushes furiously, unnoticed under his fur, and his stomach turns to a lump of steel. Logan has to be the last person in the world he'd want to have this conversation with, and yet there's no way out of it. He fights back more frustrated tears. "We...we did a lot of," he chokes, coughs, "...a lot of touching. A lot. We didn't go...we didn't..." he can't finish the sentence, can only pray Logan gets the point. That inconceivable protective impulse takes him again. He holds his back a little straighter, wipes his cheeks with his filthy sleeve. "He didn't make me do anything...anything I didn't want to."
Logan pats Kurt's grass-stained, denim-clad knee, nodding, eyes still closed. "Okay.. okay," he says, almost at a loss for words. He never imagined he'd have to have a conversation like this with someone.. in fact, he had hoped he'd never need to. Discomfort is weighing heavy on him, sensing from Kurt that the feeling is definitely mutual.. but these things have to be said. If the way Kurt was talking is any hint, then the boy is probably emotionally attached to..TODD..in some way, though Logan hopes his assumption is wrong. If it's not.. the repercussions of their actions would more than likely cause a lot of problems. This is DEFINITELY. Not. Good. Once again, he grabs Kurt by the arms and forces him to make eye contact. "It's not going to happen again, right, Elf?"
Logan's eyes are boring into him, allowing no argument. His pride bucks at the command inherent in the words. He scowls, and looks at the fire. "Not if Todd has anything to say about it."
Jaw tightened, Logan shakes Kurt in an attempt to bring the boy's focus back to him. He shakes a little rougher than intended, but offers no apology. "And what is THAT supposed to mean?"
Kurt's jarred by the sudden aggression. For a moment he forgets where he is and who he's talking to. "Jeez, chill dude. Ow!" He wishes he could rub the kinks out of his neck but Logan's grip is tight and as unyielding as the man himself. "It means Toad didn't seem exactly pleased with our actions, once we'd done them." His voice drips bitterness, and the words are acid on his tongue.
Logan's grip loosens, eyes soften, but still no apology is given. "And you?" he wonders, brows raised curiously.
Kurt doesn't answer, can't answer; he's not even sure of the answer himself, but the majority of the possibilities he knows Logan doesn't want to hear. This time he meets Logan's gaze, holds it, knowing he'll probably be ripped apart for it.
Logan has reached the end of his patience. With a feral growl, he stands up and starts pacing the den, his voice ripping through the air like a sonic boom, heedless of whether or not anyone else in the mansion can hear him. "So what, Kurt, you mess around with someone for a bit and suddenly you have feelings for them?!" He's not waiting for an answer. "There's a difference between lust and love, Elf! I thought you were smarter than this.. Do you honestly think he'll even REMEMBER what happened let alone start thinking about you any differently? Do you?! He was as high as a kite! Jesus.." He sits on the table again, though this time, he's on the other side, his back to Kurt. One hand is balled on his knee, the knuckles white; the other hand busy massaging his temples.
Kurt's shock at the outburst wears off quickly as Logan's words sink in. He yells at Logan's back, "You weren't there, damn it! Don't think you can tell me what did and didn't happen! I'm no child Logan, I know what I'm doing!" Which he doesn't, really, but that's beyond the point. He jumps up, crosses the room to stand before the older, much more intimidating man. "You don't even have the slighest idea; do you know what I feel, Logan?! Fear. I'm afraid this," he gestures at himself, from pointed ears to catlike feet, "is going to keep me isolated. Forever. Nobody ever even wants to look at me, what are the odds there's someone that actually...that wants to..." With a scream of frustration he throws his hands in the air, then slumps back down on the sofa, unconsciously mimicking Logan's pose.
Logan sighs, his muscles relaxing. He feels for the kid, he truly does, but not for one smidgen of a second does he believe Kurt knows what he's doing. "You're young," he says, as if that alone explains everything. "I know I can't identify with what you're going through now, but Kurt, Todd is not your answer, believe me. Think about it.." He glances over his shoulder, eyes pleading. "Really think about the kind of impact this could have, associating with Mystique's team. They always have an agenda, you KNOW that, and who's to say you won't end up being used? Do you want that?"
"My loving mother is the one with the agendas," Kurt mutters, followed by a half-hearted curse. The uncharacteristic anger has faded somewhat, leaving him cold and frustrated. "They're probably just tools for her, anyway."
Logan stands up and joins Kurt on the couch, trying to make eye contact. "Maybe they are, bub," he says, masking his internal disagreement. "But their loyalties--HIS loyalties lie with her, not with us.. not with you. Like I said, he's not your answer."
"I didn't say he was!" Kurt shouts in Logan's face. He's sick of being told the one thing he doesn't want to hear, over and over again, and uncertain as to why that one thing hurts so much worse each time. "You're saying he shouldn't even be given a chance? I thought that was part of what we're fighting for, the right to repent. You wouldn't even offer him that?!"
Logan shakes his head. "First of all, Charles already gave the kid a chance to join our side, and where did he end up? With Mystique, Kurt. That was his choice. Secondly," He looks at the boy pointedly, his expression laced with concern and--most of all--ardent solemnity, allowing little room for protest. "Think about how you'll feel next time you have to fight him." He allows a moment for the thought to sink in before continuing, "I know it'll be hard, Elf, but it's probably best that you try and forget what happened. Toad ain't the only one who's ever gonna--" /How do I put this..?/ "--pay that kind of attention to you."
Kurt wants to argue, but can't. Everything Logan's saying makes sense, it's all what his more rational side has been trying to tell him all along. But emotions and common sense are two very different things. No amount of talk can change the thoughts that are storming through his mind, laying to waste some of his most crucial beliefs. But he doesn't have the strength to fight anymore, and from the look on Logan's face, there's no way he could win, were he to try. Defeated, he buries his face in his hands, not caring anymore how dirty they are; his whole body feels dirty right now, not to mention his mind.
Logan tentatively places a (hopefully) soothing hand on the small of Kurt's back, unsure of what else can be said at this point. The kid has him worried, that's a given, but he's also starting to understand the pain he must be going through--having been ridiculed and feared your whole life just because of the way you look definitely justifies the concern and dread Kurt feels regarding that type of physical contact.. yet there are a lot of people in the world who can overlook appearances (/hell, a whole mess of them are right here in the Institute/), but to try and tell that to a distraught teenager..? Logan knows such an attempt is futile. The only thing he can do is hope that Kurt makes the right decision. "I know I can't control you, bub, and only YOU can decide what's right for you, but.. just promise me you'll think about what I said."
Kurt nods, not trusting his voice anymore. He shies away from Logan's hand, though. He knows it's meant to be comforting, but in the aftermath of the night's events the thought of any sort of physical contact makes him cringe, heightens the longing still burning in his chest. He stands up, crossing the room towards the door. "We done?"
Logan sighs. "Yeah," he says, voice betraying his concern. "Yeah, we're done."